hey mate hope you're ok. i've had depression/anxiety and major substance abuse issues my whole life. weight lifting/proper nutrition has been a game changer for me. anxiety and depression are massively reduced, and also staying off substances for me. keep grinding brother!

I'm glad it's helping Adam! :D Sometimes it is very strange what causes you to behave in certain ways, and you just need someone to point it out to you and work through it together :')

For me depression is something I have no control over, it is often bound in mood swings that just happens. It is kinda like the shadow you are talking about, it comes and go all the time. No longer break before it is back again.

Wow it’s been 6 months? I remember when you first started. The journey has been great to experience alongside you from your videos and to more discoveries in the future! ;)

Awesome video Adam. If I can have a little of your time I would like to share my thoughts. 🙂 What I want to touch on is this shadow that follows you. Now what I have to say might not instantly click, but as we go through it, hopefully dots join and progress can be made. ❤ So for a large part we form a opinion of ourselves based upon how we are treated by others. Now how deep that affects us depends upon our age of development that we experience such things, coupled by who and it's the by who that is the "weight" behind how much importance and "truth" we believe there is in their opinions, actions, and demeanour etc. etc. For example someone who endures bullying around 12 will have a "foundation" of how they perceive themselves to counteract such things. Now lets look at someone who has had a blanket of demeaning and toxic encounters by their very parents/primary care givers and then it becomes very much a foundation/ownership of the oppressive image they have placed upon that someone. An image they carry around with them (shadow) that they take into every situation in life. A young child needs the unconditional love of their parents. It is the being enough just by existing, and it is the emotional security and stability to be bold and venture and explore all manner of things knowing if they stumble, they will be picked up, brushed off and "re-set" on a emotional security level to try again. It is also important to take note here of development ages. What might be brushed off as trivial by an adult (e.g. a highly critical comment/scolding) could be the potential "mutism" to a child as it takes the platform of self-security right from under their feet to make them never dare attempt to try again. Now let's look at a child put down by key family members including their very mother. They may experience elements of love in between all of that, but they will carry this "weight/burden" that they aren't good enough, a disappointment etc. etc. and the younger they experience such toxicity the deeper it is as part of their foundation of understanding of themselves and where they fit into their family's eyes and the world at large. Such a burden on a young child leaves them forever trying to catch up before they can ever try to make progress. Catching up is the need to receive on par love they give to other family members to "feel" they are now equal to their peers and held in the same loving and respecting light that they bestow upon other "family" members. Adam I can only imagine such a self-belief system/platform of self when it has been build from the ground up is "almost" impossible to shake and move away from, but there is hope. 🙂 Thing is this foundation has been formed from taking "ownership" of other's view points and opinions and when that has been from the ground up by parent(s) and other family members it's not only what has been given in verbal communication but all the other stuff too. All the injustices placed upon shoulders and then made to believe those injustices are right and just (clearly not). Personally I think there is a need to re-build that platform, to see oneself for who they "truly" are and to actually put a full stop of trying to meet and be the person worthy of their parent(s) love, affection, admiration and respect. At the end of the day if they can't bestow unconditional and equal love unto the child they created and brought into this world just how much love and loyalty do they perhaps deserve back. I would imagine letting go of such a oppressive platform could feel like moving mountains in comparison, but perhaps emptying that murky glass of the image of oneself that has been placed upon them and filling a new one based upon their true worth is the speedy progression in the long term. Just my thoughts, I'm no health professional etc, but it makes sense to me. One more thing your subscriber base coupled with all the positive feedback has got to be testament to your good character, your demeanour and how you compose and conduct yourself in life. Personally I would describe you as very level headed who has great integrity and who does right by others. Adam you are a rare breed and a shining example others perhaps could only aspire to... Much love and respect to you and wishing you speedy progress in "ALL" of your endeavours. ❤❤

4:42 pheasant mating call right there! I knew that sound straight away. All those hours on hunting simulators haha

I found after a therapy session, I reflected on it to keep myself in check that I was getting what I needed from it, even if that session was painful of what it brought up and so on. I found that I gained some confidence in looking into aspects of myself and its causes that may have brought up a lot of pain but having the courage to face it nevertheless. The feelings that accompany this kind of journey is constantly in flux and that is ok as long as the trajectory is towards healing.👍

How much are your therapy sessions? For the last few years, I've been thinking of getting therapy myself for lifetime issues. I'm scared of not finding the right therapist, though. Do you think going on these finder websites and messaging a load of them to give them a brief insight about my situation is the way to go about it? If I relied on the NHS, not only would I be waiting an age, I feel like I would get paired with someone of no help. Like you, I overthink a lot, and I can't help but think of every possible scenario I might be faced with when hiring a therapist.