Nice one for typing it out Jay 👍 Thanks xx

Appreciate it

I would ADD: ensure both partners are sober! You can’t have a healthy relationship when one or both are using substances.

@@Specialkfree absolutely 💯

I don't worry much about nasty horrible person, anymore, music is all I need or Netflix on if not Utub chanel. all good for me, brilliant.

I looked back on every single family photo and the only one who looks happy is her Even the kids look unhappy

Ah, this post. 😊

This is beautiful to read. You were very lucky to have experienced this kind of joy and love, both of you. This is what most strive for in a relationship, I believe. When I find this, I will let you know! 👀 I also cry all the time. Can’t help it, it just pours out of me. He sounds like an amazing soul. ❤️

Thank you for sharing your experience. It warms my heart.

I look forward to meeting Gary, when my time comes. I am also positive, he looks forward to seeing you again! -Only Love Remains

Your post brought tears to my eyes. If I had the ability to express as clearly and beautifully as you, I would say the same about my Peter. Love- Real Love- is a precious treasure worth working and fighting for.

Same here, after 9 years i couldn't stay anymore with him. So much resentment toward him, I gave him a second chance but it was too late, all the resentment has killed my love for him.

9 1/2 was my limit it was very difficult. Getting better finding myself. Funny ive been here waiting for me to be me. Here i am

Ive been greiving for the last 5 years of the relationship hoping. I know that hope is dead . It will ok now I will be allright i can forgive myself for the crap fit i tried to make work but gave up finnally . I learned alot from him and pray he can find himself but he thinks hes the victim and will allways blame everbody for all things. I am sorry i hurt us both. Airhugs of positive loving energy to any one that needs one. Truly to bad i wont hug him any more sont want to be touched by him ever again.

Yes, also my experience.

Same and it causes me to gradually slip into an almost avoidant type behaviour which doesn’t feel right

What a gorgeous encouragement for all humans around the world🙏 Yes Richard, you're doing an awesome job - thank youuuuu♥ Be all blessed & greetings from Switzerland🌟

That is an inspiring story. I'm so glad you got away. Yes, Richard is helping a lot of people by making these videos. Even as he is attacked by others.

Seems like 2018 has been life changing for more people. I too left, went NC in 2018. Just now stepping out of the shadows. Grateful that I got new perspectives and clarity. The kind people from youtube gained me so much knowledge. It's still heavy. Funny, the last couple of months I slowly started coming back. Perception got clouded... At last starting this new year, it's gonna be even more life altering in my own new house and starting trauma therapy. Giving myself permission and time to figure stuff out ánd with help is something foreign to me. Take care ☝🏽🌌💖💫

Hi from Vienna!

Same here, 2018 was the year i decided to save my life. I left him with only 300e in my pocket, no roof above my head, no job nothing but God. It's been excruciating but thank God, now I have my own apartment, my job, I've been healing my childhood traumas, I've been taking care of myself, traveling. I'm ready to meet someone, I smell red flags from miles, i close my door anytime something/someone is off, i think I'm prepared but as long as i haven't try again i couldn't be sure about it.

This was a really good description, and helpful. There's a humility here, and self-awareness/maturity - taking personal responsibility to solve the issues in the relationship dynamic. Relationships take work, as Richard says. Also, there's a willingness to hear and honor the other person's perspective, which of course is the opposite of control I'm just further processing all these things, trying to pinpoint some of the differences between healthy and unhealthy relationships.

Wonderfully and aptly said!

@krisrobinson cool name!☺🙃

@Kasey Robinson Hey Robbo how you doing, sista!...🤗 Of course, we share the name... we are fast friends now...👊🌻

I saw so much sadness in this video.

I agree with you, of course I was not healed and I attempted to "deal" with my partner in healthy manner. I tried to understand. The conclusion I came to was that if one is not healed, we get manipulated, betrayed, lied to and cheated on. When we heal our past wounds, come aware of our true identity, acceptance of self then we have established healthy boundaries, and because we respect and value ourselves we do not take anything less from others.

One thing I know is that you can’t get healthy in the environment that made you unhealthy or in an environment that continually triggers past traumas. The only thing that is close to helping me find my joy and peace of mind is a trusted experienced psychotherapist to help me work through why I am a scapegoat and why I am attracted to the narcissist. We make our own choices, these relationships are two-way and we need to take responsibility for our own actions and choices.

Shucks. The question What to do about grief: Grieve creatively! Dance, song, candles, visit graveyards. For those who love scripture, hell: Psalms and Ecclesiastes are beautiful. I love Ayurvedic; the chakras. Acupuncture! Chinese medicine associates grief with lungs and large intestine (yin & yang of metal element). Prevalence of cancer in those organs infers a culture that doesn't grieve healthily. Life is a requiem. When i grieve whole- heartedly during my morning grieve- itations, then for the rest of the day, i don't have to. Mr G, you are plenty humble about it. It's no outrage you do this. Perhaps the person who presumes expertise on the subject is the outrage

Number one person I would enjoy a weekend at the country house with friends!

Hire some cute young gal to start paying him attention and flirting with him. He'll quickly want to lose weight and get into shape!! LOL! (tongue-in-cheek).

My dad is 86. He has a horrible diet, and is diabetic. His girlfriend of over 30 years is a nasty nag. She always boasts that she eats vegetables and is so healthy. Now she has dementia, and cannot remember from one day to the next. My dad has a great brain. She should have minded her own business and treated her own insomnia and other health issues, instead of nagging him. I think the nagging is more destructive than the bad diet. Perhaps just make healthy food taste good, and make it available to him? You could crowd out the bad a bit.

Loving someone is also talking care of yourself so you’re never a burden to the one you love. And this is what these husbands like the ones you describe don’t do. Lazy ungrateful egotistical people don’t care about themselves or how they affect others, and they feel entitled that their wives would stop their lives to take care of them when the disease they carefully conquered arrives. Not to mention the entitlement to sexual attraction in this case also… Well, I would never stay with a person like this.

@@Hawaiiansky11 LMAO you're probably right about that ;)

@@CroisMoi glad to hear your dad is well and at 86 too! Appreciate the reply. Richard's channel is one of the few safe places I even bother to comment on videos.

Your 10# weight analogy is flawed. As you said, "in many ways I do have some responsibility" ... yet the assumption is that when someone drops a weight on your toe, it's completely their responsibility, even if accidental. See the discrepancy? There's so much more going on, a better analogy would be ... You're driving in a car with a passenger and a very pesky mosquito which both you and your passenger want to be rid of. The mosquito lands on your head, so the passenger smacks your head where the mosquito is, to kill it. 1) the passenger was doing good for both of you and 2) such a smack would normally only smart (cause you a relatively small amount of pain) for a short time - generally considered worth it to be rid of the blood sucking thing. BUT ... unbeknownst to your passenger, in just the spot the mosquito happened to land, you have a sore. Maybe it's open, maybe it's just festering under the skin, but either way, that sore has been there a good long while and you really haven't been taking care of it properly because you know 1) it's not going to be easy to fix and 2) it'll be painful to fix. Because it bothers you only if you mess with it, it's just easier to leave it alone. So when your passenger smacks the mosquito on that very spot, it causes you an excruciating amount of pain, which your passenger cannot really comprehend or understand. (Unlike if they had dropped a ten pound weight on your toe.) When they find out you've had this sore for years on end, they can't help but wonder why you haven't taken care of the problem. Even though the pain could be equal to having a ten pound weight dropped on your toe, they will only want to take responsibility for the small amount of pain their action would have normally caused you, because you not taking care of the underlying problem isn't their responsibility. I hope this makes sense. I tried to include the realities of healing from our past experiences ... the facts that it is not easy, takes a long time, and is generally a painful process. But they ARE OUR wounds, and it is OUR responsibility to do our best to heal them/help them heal. Because it's painful and not easy, too many of us don't do the necessary work and end up, like in this analogy, with our sores vulnerable to being exposed to extreme pain under relatively normal circumstances. Not being easily offended is not easy, even after our wounds have healed. We may still FEEL that knee-jerk reaction internally when that sore is even just brushed up against ... but controlling an automatic outward reaction, examining the issue internally, coming to terms with and understanding why we had the reaction, consciously deciding to view the problem outside the parameters of our healed/healing wound ... all those are our responsibility. Unfortunately, pointing our fingers at others is never constructive and does absolutely nothing to help the wound heal.

@@vaylaria9945 The illustration you gave shows how complex relationship issues can be? I think my main point was how some people don't want to participate in the dance of owning their own stuff/ understanding and showing compassion to the one who has been hurt/ work through the issues mutually to seek repair and reconciliation.