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When we are repeatedly shamed we take on an inner voice that holds the core message: "I am unlovable". We live in a culture where shaming has become normalised and is passed down through the generations. One reason for this is that it is an effective form of behaviour control - children (and adults) will do anything to avoid having to feel it. And, of course we have the parts inside that shame us (the critical voice: "You're too fat/thin/loud/quiet/shy/outgoing etc."). It is important to acknowledge our inner shamers so we can choose not to come from them - or make repair if we do. The impact on our later life can be an ongoing attempt to "deserve" the love of another. This is the root of low self-esteem; the opposite of what we want for our children.