Ikr

Thank you for this quote

Literally just finally broke out of that confusion yesterday.

Wow. this hits me the most. 😫

Know your worth and have boundaries, everything else is insanity

Hey no swearing here

No swears!

somebody finna ruin it, just wait

@@TRAYVONN_ They already did, the first couple replies

I agree

dang.. did you broke up?

Hello. However, our "guts" work differently. They do so because we have different genetic predispositions, but also because we had different lives. our first relationships and experiences with people in the world, -and they differ from one individual to another-, determine somehow the way we behave in our current relationships. Our brains are like high computers, they gather information through every experience, and organize our behaviours according to them (we aren't aware of this organization). Our first relationships (especially with parents and primary caregivers) are so important because they kind of give our brains a first impression about how things work in the world. however, these experiences aren't representative to do so. They have a survival value, but it's too primitive and it can be tricky in our complex society. So here comes the problem: Some of us may -according to those experiences- take hardly some insignificant behaviours just because they're related to something bad that took place in the past, or because we've been getting a different pattern of caring behaviours when we were children that we see any different kind of attachment uncomfortable. This should teach us to be aware of our behavioural patterns, and try to control and fix what we find wrong among them, and build healthier ones. This isn't ought to be for the sake of the partner, as it is ought to be for our sakes. It makes our relationships easier, more successful, and healthier. To get an insight into the relationship between our behaviour in relationships and our past, i suggest reading the literatures about attachment styles theory. And you can see some videos about them in this channel first, and in "the school of life" channel, which is similar to this one, even though their topics aren't fully about psychology. Have a good life.

@@anis9503 that’s good how to described for relationships, if there’s something wrong that you didn’t realise or something you just have to force yourself for other reason instead just ordinary type.

He always tells me that I'm taking it too seriously, it hurts ahah

Thank you, I can relate to that honestly, I kept my feelings inside of me for so long that I snapped.

Yas!

YES!

I'm scared I do this with my friends sometimes. I try really hard not to though and I'm aware of it

@@RowanArk yeah me too, I don't know if I am paranoid or if I really just talk too much about myself

not in a relationship but my friend always talks abt herself. it's getting boring to talk to her nowadays. ik she's just tryna keep the convo going, but atleast let me talk abt my stuff too man

🤣😳😬 too relatable

XD

Some Yello me Dude *Has Come*

Lol so relatable

Yep

Probably a mini movie marathon

((Reported the “love bot”...nvmd (but I did)

Probably nothing. Lol

He had #2, #3, and #6. Wasted 11 yrs. on him. #6 can be a sign of a serious personality issue and should be enough to end it right there. Wish I'd known that back then.

Ghost hunting? XD Ah why not? I myself will be likely working on music.

Same...I am actually in a relationship and I often feel like crap because of some of these things. I've tried to leave a few times because I'm sure he'll be better off with someone better..

You

Get a life.

@@Jason-Joestar for real

🙋‍♀️

No wonder he left u

Thats what i was thinking man

@kristy's laziness I don't know

omg. L, you married Light?!

L your real name is Lawlite

Agreed.

@kristy's laziness thanks for fighting lol

Learned this the hard way

Kabir Batra But you learned, which is the great thing 😊 glad you’re out of that situation now.

Thank you! We hope this video has helped you in some way! Do you relate to any of these red flags?

@kristy's laziness 🔼🔤🔄⏪🔠

Yes but this is in a healthy Way !! And that's great !! But if someone start to compare their ex with their current partner or if they talk about them A LOT this is a red flag But nothing wrong with talking about ex's, but do not do.it too much ! ^^ Hope you found the one

He sounds like a great partner

Yeah, it's the same for me and my partner. We are comparing each other to our abusive exes and thus we can clearly see that our relationship is completely different and we are good to each other. It's sort of a compass that lets us know what we definitely don't want in our relationship. And I guess we are just healing together.

Thank you. I am autistic and I was worrying I was bad at relationships. My partner is too, so, it does get very difficult at times with emotions.

Yo, hope you and your partner are doing well now!

You've got to be careful with that though too. My abusive ex-husband had Asperger's and it caused me to overlook many red flags.

And, if you happen to have some of these characteristics yourself, you might believe they're healthy for other people - when they're actually red flags. It just happened to me. What I thought was my new love 'needing to be alone to recharge' was a combination of his apathy towards me, his selfishness and his incredible laziness...I realised in the end. It was an awful shock. I totally misjudged him and got very badly hurt.

Not me going back to the thumbnail💀💀

Yassss I like the sharp long nails just amazing!

LMAOO

Ye

Did you like it? :)

I’m dealing with a 2 3 and 6

@@allahuakbar6994 same

@@allahuakbar6994 I'm dealing with 5 and 7

@@oozy. ooo I do think 5 and 7 go hand in hand...... I do feel like I do 7 sometimes... but usually only do 7 when asked to explain, and the explanation was cheating + being dumped on my birthday + he stealthed (lied about using condom) . I guess I redeem myself by saying the ex I had after him was super nice but it didn't work out cuz of long distance. its a odd balance of what you can say -- but I felt like some things are important to talk about.

I would like to add: Talk about sex, what you like and dislike, before having it. It really helps to avoid the frustration and disappointment.

completely agree! I honestly want to know about someone's past relationships. I find it interesting and if i want to be serious with someone, I truly wanna know whatever they wanna share. I just enjoy hearing people's life stories. The good and the bad. And along with that, we all have pasts, and if I feel comfortable enough to open up, that's my gut telling me they're a safe person to talk to.

​@@taramazur8287 The kind of things a new partner will tell you about their past is also a great window into their personality. Also, be aware of what is left out. Obviously, that goes for myself as well. What do *I* tend to emphasize, leave out? I agree that it makes sense wanting to feel safe and comfortable with a partner. It's horrible when you can't talk about things that are important to you (even, yes, when they are mundane).

Everyone talks about my partner's ex, so it doesn't really count. The reason is that she went batshit and threatened to shoot up the school.

Agreed. I think this is especially important for people who have been through traumatic relationships in the past, as it can give you an idea of what kind of things scare them and what you can reasonably avoid doing to help them feel safe with you. People shouldn't have to walk on eggshells around their partners, but it's also important to display a healthy level of respect for things that your partner is particularly sensitive about.

@@midnachick97 I love your input. Walking on eggshells ... I've been there and it led to so many misunderstandings. To be very clear, that was my mistake. Great life lesson, though. Maybe this should be a subject in school "how to communicate openly, accept constructive criticism and establish healthy boundaries".

Unless both are emotionally unavailable lol

We hope this video has helped you in some way! Do you relate to any of these red flags?

What if i’m the emotionally unavailable one?

@@sarcasmismyfirstlanguage6611 learn to be ok with being more open about who you are and areas in life you struggle with. Learn to be ok with being little vunerable. Communication is key in a relationship. Cant run from conflicts but face them together. Support and encourage each other. Put the others needs above your own. Thats the best I can say.

I feel lesbian vibes here..

Did you two end up trying again?

Have things changed for the better?

Lemøndrøp Parade its extra nice when you’re snuggling a red panda plush or something

@The_Spooky_Bunny awww

The_Spooky_Bunny that’s so cute ㅠㅠ

We hope this video has helped you in some way! Do you relate to any of these red flags?

well the only way to find out is to have an open and honest conversation with them you may start by “hey I’ve noticed that you sometimes ignore me when i try to talk to you. It makes me feel...(whatever emotions you feel). Is there something i did wrong?”

i always use this method with my past lovers to see how they truly feel about me. first, make sure you ask them if it's okay to discuss about your guys' relationship and if they said yes, then tell her that you feel like your relationship with them is like starting to go downfall and you want to fix it. if you see positive change in them, that means they truly/might start to think your relationship is important and they don't want to ruin it. but if she says no to discussing about your guys' relationship, then try persuading her by saying it's important and if still declines then that means you are either unimportant to them or they're just really not ready. if you think the both of you are starting to drift away maybe it's time to make the right decision by officially breaking up. just a reminder that everybody is different and i hope you guys will stay with eachother. i know it's hard but you'll get out of this mess trust me :) i wish the best !!

I had a bf and that lasted for 5 days, he was often with my cousin sis but then whenever I called him he'd say you're my only one and all were saying he was cheating me, I believed it but it was ok till I get to talk to him and one day my mom found out so we had to break up lol, now I don't give a shit to any boys, once I wanted a boyfriend now i don't want any😂

thank y'all so much 💖

@@adrianoopi I'm gonna try this thank you so much

That's good to know

Your not toxic, you may just be misunderstood ☺

@@harry.h4304 thats an unhealthy way to look at it.

Same

we all have toxic traits, nobody is perfect. it's a good step at noticing and holding yourself accountable in areas that you can improve :)

@@userzquid nobody is perfect, your right. Part of what makes me toxic is having unrealistic expectations both for myself and others. I am working on this. But it's so hard.

So true, and it's valid not only for romantic relationships but friendships also. I knew this person and we got along well, but very soon he started answering after 3,4,5 even six days and I knew he read the message but just replied so late on purpose. Once I asked him why he's doing that and he said he's always so busy. But then I found out later directly from him that he wasn't working for almost a year, which is the time we've known each other and as I asked him what he was doing, he said he was sleeping late, drinking coffee, enjoying life... Interesting, I thought, where at first he claimed he was so busy, but then he was just being lazy and had more than enough time to answer me, but he was actually disrespecting me. Imagine that someone for months always replies to you several days later, but always, each time, and actually every time he started the communication, he would ask me a question, I would answer in a reasonable time and he would always answer several days later. I realized I don't want that person in my life anymore. As once we were on a concert together, he held his phone in his hand all the time, looking at his messages and writing too, so he was writing to other people even when he was with me, he couldn't be still for 40 minutes. It was disrespectful of him, because that was a special concert in a glorious place, only for special guests, not everyone could come there, I had an invitation and had the right to bring 1 person with me, I took him and he was just a disappointment. He didn't even appreciate being there and let me tell you, he couldn't ever get there on his own, it was only for a small circle of people. It's obvious he was just playing with me. He was often putting me down and making mean jokes on my expense. When I would be hurt, because it was insulting, he would say:"I was just joking". What a fool he is now, because I blocked him forever. I guess the joke is now on him.

I needed that 💯🙏🏾❤️thank you so much

I stg 💯‼️🎯 experience is one hella of a teacher

great wise words

I’m currently in this situation idk what to do tho

ayyyyy fellow bnha fan

Omg your profile pic 😊

I love your profile pic ;w;

Ah I see, you are a person of culture as well. 😌

Also 6 days ago o.o?

Yea you really did the right thing .. Very childish of him ... And you did Dodge a bullet, if you would have dated him ..I think it would be a very toxic relationship Let's hope he gets more mature

*don't share ur diamond*

NONE SHALL TOUCH MY DIRT CHEST! THE EMPORER WILLS IT!

LOL

Red flag 2: killing them as imposter.

Dont take my hard earned diamonds sucker!

Oh my god SAME

Ask him what's going on. If nothing changes, exclude him from the project. If the situation stays like that it will be the "doom" of the project.

Communication is the bridge to understanding. "Hey, I have all these feelings but it's hard to explain, do you have time to listen?" I understand it's hard sometimes (or most times) to get it out, and I'm too neurotypical to fully know how truly hard it is for some. But if the other is willing to take their time to listen while you try to put your feelings into words, and clear up misunderstandings before they turn to hostility, that's half the path to a healthy relationship. If they're not willing to listen, and you already tried time and time again, pack up and look to greener pastures, they're not worth your time.

Finally someone said it

@@karendesmarto3378 Good to know I'm not the only one

@@biblicallyaccuratecockroach Thanks!! This was really helpful to me! I hope you have a blessed day 😌

Shit-

That's sad..

If you realise you're the red flag, then it's time to change :) And the fact that you recognise yourself is the first step to build a healthier relationship ! I too recognise myself in one of my past relationship.and I dont want to make the same mistakes ever again

The secret one is hard to see because... It's obvious... It's secret xD

These are very true red flags!

Everyone expresses there feelings differently though. It’s learning to accept that everyone is different and we don’t have to love the same way

About the social media thing, some people are private and don’t want to be on any social media platforms, and that’s okay 🤷‍♀️ Not everything has to be on social media. That includes significant others if they are not comfortable with it.

If y’all express your feelings differently, you’re going to have to compromise. So those two advices kinda contradict each other.

Same

Same

What do you like about it the most? :)

How many of these signs described you?

Perfect timing when I have a crush I don't want a crush ❣🖤🌹🖤💘😘💓

If only she had the same way of thinking as you do.

It’s good they’re an ex

true

Thank you so much for your positive feedback :) Is this your favorite one so far?

@@Psych2go it's definitely one of my new favorites, awesome!

Lol same

Thank you! I hope you have a wonderful day, too :)

Thank you Applejucce you also have a great day! :3

@UC6YxoZIdZqwNbu9ryLjUP6A did you really just copy & paste their comment?

thank you, i hope you have a great day too

People who say they are early : Understandable have a great day

oh god... I think you should just learn from your mistakes and look forward to other people... I know it's hard stopping loving someone, but at least try it out - I believe in you! :)

If you are aware that you were controlling in your last relationship, than you should work on that before starting a relationship. Changing it will take time, but you can change. He may not still want to be involved with you romantically, and you can't change that I'm afraid. But acknowledging that you were controlling is a great start to changing it.

@@rivertheenbybitch117 Nice saying. Very righttt

@@rivertheenbybitch117 thanks so much for the advice I will try to change to a better person

@@DacalLP I really appreciate ur advice thanks so much

same bro, please let me know when you have an answer

Ask them for every single thing? That's exhausting and sounds like you're no longer in control of your life; they are.

Already did I wanted him break up with me .

Wow..... No YOU arent the red flag ... I hope he never forced you for the bedroom stuff .. Damn ..People like that does exist.. Hope you're well and better

@@bamaboo8398 He tried to, but I stood my ground. After I told him no, he threw a temper tantrum and refused to lay on the bed with me. He decided to go lay on the floor instead (as a form of protest, I guess?). Safe to say I broke it off REAL fast after that

Maybe channelsupporter get to see it earlier it was just private

@kristy's laziness no shit sherlock

Exactly

I used to try to get my boyfriend to talk about his exes. I wanted to know where they had fucked up and how I could do better than them. By doing so, I was competing with them on a subconscious level. Being the anxious attachment style I was, I smothered him with love and affection, and he got scared away Long story short, he broke up with me.

"Not allowed to date" ? How old are you ?

@@bamaboo8398 17 I'm not allowed until I'm 18 I'm also graduating this year

Ok

But if you start dating someone in the future,you could use it

i dont have one either

Is good to know future reference you have I'm single don't have a BF or GF had a Fiancé he had few this red flags.

I mean, I guess it is good for future reference 😊

That necessarily depends on who was bad in the story

what the hell is going on in the comment section rn?? these people are everywhere

@@itsjustme. Report them to KZfaq. They are disgusting and are ruining this channel.

@@jeffu.8053 yup, started doing that. thank you for the tip :)