Enjoying our content and want to support us directly? Join our premium subscription for access to our podcast, bonus content, merch discounts and more! Visit www.psych2go.supercast.com

1 - Not apologizing 0:56 2 - codependency 2:18 3 - Unclear communication 3:33 4 - Micromanaging 4:56

The fact that my boyfriend and I watch these together makes me so happy. Y’all really helped us out ❤.

Number 5: peeling off their skin

My relationship used to suffer a lot from unclear communication, and honestly, micromanaging is something that I still struggle with internally... I have since learned how to take control of these compulsive desires, but that doesn't mean I still don't find myself dwelling on the little things that people don't do every now and then.... It's honestly difficult not to let those kinds of thoughts consume me, especially if I've already had a rough day to begin with

For everybody who has asked out their crush and been rejected, I feel you. But you still did an incredibly brave thing, and I'm proud of you. I promise things will work out. Video is amazing Psych2Go! Topics Below: 1. Partners unintentionally hurting one another and avoiding an apology. 1:00 2. Being overly attached and dependent on your partner. 2:18 3. Poor communication, or lack of clear communication. 3:34 4. Micromanaging. 4:56

It's easy to have a good marriage when things are going well. But learning to work TOGETHER through the hard stuff without blaming each other is what we've found is key. We've also learned to express what we are looking for. The best way for that is "Lovify" couple game. In this game, we have to guess each others expectations. Been 7 Years & we still put efforts to understand each other better 💞

Who's watching this despite not even being in a relationship?

The second one is really true for me... I've always felt this feeling of worthlessness whenever I'm not with my partner. Ever since I got into a relationship too, I slowly stopped talking to all of my friends and replying to their texts. Whenever I'm not with my partner, I feel anxiety so intense that I sometimes get panic attacks or auditory hallucinations. Im constantly scared that I might do something to make my partner leave me so I constantly apologize for every thing... and I feel that it only brings us both down when I apologize for everything. I'm unnecessarily clingy and I would sacrifice anything and everything for them. This video really opened my eyes but I don't know what to do to be better, idk what to do to fix this.

Can’t kill if I can’t create

The importance of sincerity and vulnerability in maintaining healthy relationships is major point here, and reminds us that it's okay to admit when we've made a mistake. It's a valuable message that can help us build stronger, more resilient connections with the people we care about.

I've killed friendships or friendships were killed in the past that led me to have new friendships now due to letting certain friends go. No one said sorry except for me. A girl for my 20th birthday gave me a note that left me in tears because I've never got a note from a girl before and I felt important. I felt important to her even though I've only known her for two months. What matters is learning and forgiving those that hurt you. It's a long process but having closure helps.

What I love is that in some way, all these things can be applied to relationships in general and not just romantic ones.

I've learned so much from these videos...I split with my ex recently because I just felt we were sooo incompatible that, I felt I couldn't cope..it brought out some toxic behaviors that I now wish very much I had the tools mitigate at the time...I care for her very deeply, and truly want her to have the best in life.. ironically, I found it very hard for me to always be my best self...who admittedly has some issues...looking back we were just both very afflicted with our own traumas and..and never had the knowledge or techniques or prior healing within ourselves to be together...I still believe that it's best that we separated..space was necessary..but I just hate that it felt that it needed to be for good because looking back...I don't miss her as a lover. I miss her as a friend I miss her as family. I pray one day we both can heal and learn how to be happy...with ourselves and each other...to my Baby K. I'm deeply and truly sorry for all of my dysfunctional behaviors. From the previous lifetime..those to come, and beyond. You are forever loved.

I’ve gone through a few relationships and a thing I learned is to love you also need to learn how to love yourself! I apologised so much everyday for every little thing I did because I was scared my partner was always needing it. Yes it was probably an effect of certain childhood experiences but after the relationship ended and I took time to listen to myself I realised this. In the relationship I was in a dark place, I fell and emotionally depended on my partner. Not giving them enough room either. Please, do not be afraid to work on yourself and see professionals! Of course opening yourself up and telling your partner these things is a great idea, communication is a strong tool for a healthy relationship, but make sure you give them room too! 💖

Not apologizing and unclear communication. Not in a relationship but got a friend and these are the issues that are starting to make me lose interest in our friendship. I always got to be the one to lower down my pride when I didn’t even do anything bad, they just start to ignore me when they get mad. It’s okay to want to have an alone time, but they give me the silent treatment for literal days and I always have to be the one approaching them. And when they DO explain, the reasons are always so minimal and even unintentional.

I love coming back to this channel for not only the entertainment but to educate myself on these things, thank you I hope this channel continues to help those who need it the most ❤

I sympathize with the second point. Not in a relationship, but as friends with the opposing sex. I have learned a little bit to control it. I still fear to get too attached though...

Its been 8 months and im still recovering from my marriage break up. These videos have been unbelievably helpful in helping to understand what potentially went wrong. There was no cheating, no lying, no arguing, we just kind of drifted apart. I see a lot of me and a lot of her in some of these videos. Thankyou for making them ❤

5 when they say they are a minor

I love that so many of these can also apply to platonic relation ships.

I haven't been in a relationship for some years now I can just say that you've got everything covered.

I have a suggestion Your videos are amazing And help me so much But it would be great if you provide solutions on what to do if you do these things Example: being overly attached And then how can you avoid this.

I really relate on the number 2, I get too attached to my partner that I don't know who I am anymore and slowly losing my own identity, I really need to change this, because its getting to hard sometimes once we get into misunderstandings

Communication is great and all but getting down to it, it's also about understanding and listening to one another, not assuming or just hearing the other person. Sometimes instead of listening, we just wait for a lil moment to jump in and start going off. I had an ex that loved to jump to assumptions and after each exhausting shift I had or free time I had, I'd give it to her, especially to reassure, reciprocate our feelings for one another and try and explain things to her, since communication isn't only important in a romantic relationship but also with friends or at work, I'd even say if you don't understand anything you can ask me... But it I guess that wasn't it. She even admitted to her family member that she intentionally tries to start fights but I don't argue with her, I just look at her, she then even admitted when we were breaking up that she intentionally ignored me and my feelings because she thought she knew better and what I wanted, she begged saying that she can change... But that doesn't happen over night, and all I want is peace basically. But I'm asking for too much it seems lol.

Love it. Educational. Trauma Bonds also have a chemical component that gets people addicted. It's a trap, as you said the bad outweighs the good and its not worth it

Number 13 : necromancy

I just work and avoid people. I know I have a lot to offer but when I know that is the only thing making a relationship valuable it cut me off from emotions completely. I enjoy my alone time in a way that INFJ or any other personality could ever predict. I just don't see the value in being loved or accepted. I want my own power and acceptance. I find peace in knowing I control my own feelings, and my own future. I don't need anyone else to do that.

People always think that i dont care about anyone cuz i always ghost people who r close to me but its not the case. I talked to my therapist and he said that when i get stressed and lose confidence from personal things I close people off and try to face them on my own. Started to change that and I feel way more happy now cuz when i turned away the people i cares about i had nobody for the mental support i needed when feeling that way. If you are reading this stay strong and don't be afraid to get help from anyone. 😊 Have a good day 🌞 or good night 💤

me and my girlfriend of 2 years just broke up (she left me) and i understand how and why it happened now with this due to things i did this video covers it hurts right now but i’m going to work on it and try and improve myself. this channel has been helping me so much throughout the whole process though so thank you ❤

6:00 something I did with my girlfriend instead is that I say "what cupboard would work best for what?" and we organise the kitchen consciously together, (when we have time).

I never use to micromanage before but I have been giving it more of a shot lately at my job. It does kinda feel good to not have to clean every small cabinet door while I’m busy handling other things.

I personally feel like some adults wouldn’t even bother to try to apologize for their actions, hurtful words, etc to their friend, loved ones or anyone else. Apologizing to people is not about winning an argument or how right or wrong one is, it’s about having the courage to admit that u made a mistake and make a concentrated effort to try not to repeat this hurtful action again through loving kindness, patience, compassionate and understanding. I strongly believe that apologizing to those u loved and hold dear for all your wrong doings and forgiving those who have hurt you is extremely important more than ever that it’s a shame that it’s never even discussed or brought up. I feel like we’re losing sight of how important it truly is to take personal responsibility for your actions and wrong doings and try to make things right in today’s time. We’re all human and we’re all going to make stupid and reckless mistakes every so often but it’s important now more than ever to take full personal responsibility for all those wrongful deeds and hurtful actions and just try to be much better people than ever before. Especially now since Covid destroyed not only relationships with our friends and loved ones but also made us turn against one another like a pack of wolves which breaks my heart. 😥😥😥

A sincere apology does in fact make a HUGE difference.

I was micro-managing my ex. I stopped when I realise, I was so much exhausted by a lot of things and in + I had to do almost everything in the house. Cooking, cleaning, washing, almost everything + work + taking care of my very old cat. It was unbearable. And after a while I understood he will never change and if I can't live in this condition, I have to go. So I broke with him. I realise that not only I was making him feel bad in his skin, but I was killing myself by trying to have help in the house by micro-managing him. So I have learned a life lesson, don't micro-managing people and see what is my limits in a relationship. After all, you realise what you are willing or not willing to endure in a relationship, and even if they are hard time, you learn about yourself and grow up. So. don't beat yourself up if you do errors, just be better the next time.

Something I struggle with is over explaining why I’m sorry. People get so upset when that happens. They think I’m apologizing to clear the air but now i just genuinely want others to know I didn’t mean to hurt them or make them upset. It’s so hard.

I think my parents needs to watch your videos... lately they've been struggling and putting pressure on me and my sister causing us to raise ourselves more

I have so many problems with saying sorry... I just can't say it right away when I know I did wrong... This weekend, I had time to think about it. My mom ripped my heart into little pieces with her action, and I told her that I was sag, angry, disappointed... she knew that she was wrong. That she did wrong. But no apology... no sorry... I thought about all the situations my feelings were hurt. Never did my parents apologize. Not a single time... Now I am working on it and my partner is very supportive. ❤

Hey, I just found your channel and I’ve been binging a bunch. I manage a pretty.. unique set of issues, and I just thought it wouldn’t hurt to drop a comment. If you could do a video covering psychopathy and sociopathy, and associated common symptoms, it could help not only me but others who deal with my type of issues and try with all their might to be healthy working members of society. It’s really hard at times to subside psychopathic tendencies, and it’d be nice to hear other studies. Cheers, loving the videos

Why the heck am I here, when I’m single????!!!🗿

Some people apologize and never act on it. Like it never had meaning behind the words when they repeat what happened over and over.

Thank you for this video jealousy ruins relationship. I have learn the other person will bring their worst friends around. And get mad when you don't want to be there friend.

Thank you for making these videos. They help us all out a lot ❤

Appreciate your efforts and love Ur videos, very helpful 🌟

To be honest quite helpful to not make more mistakes in relationships with people, thank you.

You.. You made me understand myself more. Thank you.

In the past, I believe that micromanaging destroyed my relationship. Due to our similar ages, I had the impression that I was living with my mother rather than a lover. And for that reason, despite my continued patience, I detest everything he does.

Husband is an only child, and doesn't understand some of the sibling treatment he and my friends get, since it, to him as an only child, feels more intimate to him. He got to see these behaviors as time went on displayed with various family members and I explained more on it when he seemed confused at such displays of affection with others. Mostly I explain it as things various members of the family do when they're open and trust one another. This also extends to friends and family friends who are close enough. Seeing them means that that person is trusted in full and accepted. While his family are more verbal in such communications they're very hands off with physical displays. They're also less open with things that bother them and rely more on the "third party" method. (The method of being quiet about it at first with the person who has done the upsetting thing, and talking about it with a third party who then bridges the gap.) The opposite is true for us. We're direct about things we're uncomfortable with and show trust in physical ways such as touch or leaning against one another for quiet comfort, and physical "guarding" where the one who is upset is allowed to process their emotion without verbal input from the other while they sit with either a leg against leg beside, or allow themselves to be leaned on or back to back with the other person just kinda acting as a buffer between the upset person and anyone who might interrupt them. Most of the folks in my family are ND of some variety all over the place so we also kinda crowdsource solutions to problems more openly, even if the question seems inappropriate. Granted the emotional response can seem explosive from the outside, neither party in these confrontations is really looking to hurt the other and mostly just trying to understand the whys and whats so we can better work together. Society doesn't like the display of emotions because it seems less controlled and less predictable. More... Child like. In a way it seems more dangerous, when for us it's a bonding activity. Ironically its also harder to be manipulated by other members of the group when you're direct about things in the open. Like ripping off the bandaid when it's time to, it solves issues faster and with less long term ill effects. We're a dysfunctional bunch, odd and off kilter, but we make it work and are close to those who choose to interact with us.

It was 5 months ago, I relate to the second tip, I used to be so dependent on my friend/ more then friends? I don't know anymore. Its like I've now lost myself and even if I try to move on, it never works. If I try to ask for help, its like nobody can help me, I cant blame them I was a stupid to think he'd stay with me forever. I keep on reading our old texts and always trying to keep our promises but now it just feels numb and I cant focus on anything, I suppose life has been harsh, but I try to be positive. I try to be a good friend for others but keep failing, I've lost any hope of becoming better. I wish this video came out before, maybe I couldve topped myself from being so dependent. Oh well, life isn't fair is it, ive only got myself to blame.

These are great tips and speaking from a 21 year relationship. Great video.

That voice is soothing and the information is helpful!

The second point is most likely what killed my first relationship. I was so heavily dependent on him for everything that I didn't know what to do with myself when he was busy and got upset when he'd do things with others. I didn't realize how much he did for me until he was gone, and I believe I've lost my soulmate. I've realized my mistakes now but the damage has been done, and I'm afraid I'll never be able to convince him that I regret everything I did.

i’ve literally just gotten a boyfriend, i really want this to go well so watching this video really helps. Thanks a lot

I'm definitely coming back to watch this again.

Me not having empathy, not being social it’s difficult for me to understand others so I need tips …thanks you for that :)

I think this goes without saying that, in addition to too much emotional attachment, there is too much emotional detachment, so much as being too attached to someone is negative being too detached from the relationship can be also negative, this can be something like taking the relationship for granted. (I think you should've pointed that out), there should be a balance

This really hurts😭😭😭😭 Three years ago I broke up with my bf because of my toxicity. I made lots of assumptions and he got exhausted. He was righteous and sensible man, but I didn't value it and destroyed my one in a life time relationship then I couldn't find a man like him

#2 kills my rellationship. I feel I am way to attached. I realized I have been avoiding my friends more to hang with her. And I also feel like I tell her my feelings and ask for help way to often. This person is way to special to me. We've been together for almost a year now, and now she's starting to talk to me less and avoid saying sweet and cute things to me. Hopefully I can figure this out.Thank you for the advice.

I’m number 4, I suffer with ocd and things must always be in its place. My bf and I argue about it all the time. I just feel like if I don’t leave things of mine around the house for you to clean up why are you. It’s like a disrespect. Especially when I’m the only one cleaning. Relationship can just be toxic.

I love that you connect your videos with The Office🥰🥰

For me, being "stubborn" about apologizing has more to do with my triggers than fear of being guilty. My step mom would constantly force me to apologize to her for things I wasn't doing. So now, if another person says they feel that they deserve an apology, it automatically makes me not want to apologize

I’m clingy due to abandonment issues. I do it subconsciously and need people to communicate with me that I’m being to much. It’s something I’m working on in therapy but I won’t change over night.

Binging these after a little argument with my gf. The “refusing to apologize” one is hitting… hardddd… they shut down one of my story ideas really quickly and i said that it kind of hurts when they do that. Their retort was “How come whenever I share my opinions I’m doing something wrong?” and they proceeded to bring up grievances they’ve been having for weeks, I presume. But just… now. To win an argument. I can’t tell who’s in the wrong here

Making these The Office references really made this video so much better. Currently in a rewatch.

It’s so hard to not depend on anyone else for emotional support. It’s so lonely and I don’t know how to not be needy. It’s hard to be able to do it all on my own. I do have my therapist and cats. I’m working on depending on them instead of bothering everyone else while verbally processing. Cats are also unbothered when I talk about the same issues again and again. I have migraines and body heat/circulation issues because of meds. I can see how annoying it is for me to have another migraine or my fingers have lost circulation again in the cold. I am trying to get to just shovel the driveway or perform my tasks regardless of how I feel and it seems to have made everyone happier

A 2017 study found that if you offer a sincere apology, the other person is much more likely to forgive you. That is so sad and depressing that people really did a study on that, like people actually need a study and professionals to tell them that they need to do something we’re taught to do in pre-school! Grow up, people!

I wrote a letter on a piece of paper once and that fake friend literally said no, you don’t understand friendship 💀 that’s how I know she’s a fake friend. She was so mean and even told my other friends. I can’t trust her with any of my secrets or stories or anymore

0:21 I've never seen the office but you explained your point with enough detail. 2:46 loosely based on the much older Christian (in this case old testament) idea but ok 5:37 don't try to control everything however (as another study showed) communicating the little things that bug you (without "my way is right") is a good idea

Good analogy with The Office

I have met someone this past year that and we both believe we are each other's soulmate. I love watching these videos and realizing just hiw toxic and generally bad my previous relationship was. A bit of a better understanding as to why you start making asumptions and have bad communication that you might not realize is happening is that you just plain don't feeo comfortable enough to bring up your feelings about something because you are always left feeling like whatever you say is never good enough or you're given something back that leaves you feeling like you just got a nip on the butt just because youndecided to voice an opinion. You do not even realize the manipulation and gaslighting but you're left feeling like you aren't getting naywhere and shut down. It makes it very hard to communicate. So when you say to yourself "why do I even bother talking" or "Im going to ignore them and wait for them to pipe up about what is bugging them" Stop and think if that relationship is going tonteally make it. These days with my new partner we have such a strong bond that no matter what it is I feel loved and appreciated for voicing my opinion. You should NEVER live in fear to speak your mind. Adress that issue with your partner if you have it and don't let cognitive dissonance or fear of being alone stop you from being given the love and respect you deserve! ❤

Yes I tired to get my bf to do something and I tried over and over until he said enough and started to walk away mad from me. After this I am telling my by sorry and hope he forgives me! Thank you for this help! I am subscribing if I am not already!

This video conflates anxious/preoccupied attachment style with codependency and that's really quite damaging with so little context, especially for people looking for answers who are hearing this for the first time.

I've learned so much from these video!

Yo I got into my first relationship, I really needed this video thanks very much

Thanks for the tips and I can relate to theses 👍

I love your videos. It's helping me to understand myself more, and I want my marriage to be the best!! I want to make the best me, not only for them, but for me too.

2 really hit home. i don't know how to fix it

Love ur channel, tysm

I really want to share this with my partner, but I’m a bit afraid to. He has BPD and he makes such grand assumptions about me and my mood and “tone” and body language that even with clear communication from me about having a hard long day/having a chronic illness flare up etc, it is never enough to dissuade the spiraling rabbit role of assumptions and criticisms my partner will lash at me…it always sort of ends up with me feeling exhausted and tired and burnt out having to console my partner while forcing myself to get over whatever it was I was feeling in the first place

Another video I can definitely relate to!

Timestamps 1). I'm sorry 0:56 2). Attached to you 2:17 3). My crystal ball is broken 3:33 4). Micromanaging 4:56 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

I am surprised that I have not heard of anyone mention about what to look for if relationships seem too "perfect". Only person I ever dated and loved was perfect in every way and we never fought and always had fun and a loving relationship with one another. Until I found out she was dating her 'friend' the entire time.

Just remember to keep moving forward and dont get stuck watching this videos

These are very familiar to me. I'd say my last relationship had ALL of these to some degree and we were very close to marriage. There was a lot of unclear communication and codependency on my end with micromanaging on theirs. It unironically really showed in our childhoods-- I was the best friend and later parent to one of my parents as a child (the other one neglected me entirely) ... and I might have ADHD (jury's still out). Meanwhile, they were heavily bullied by their eldest sibling and had very neglectful, yet expectant parents. As such, they developed severe OCD and needed everything (even conversations) to be done a very specific way. They were constantly afraid of being used and mistreated, while I was fawning to the Nth degree and was always terrified about making mistakes (and being abandoned for it) ... even though they never threatened me with it. I didn't know how to communicate in a healthy way and was driven to tears almost every time they sat me down to talk (aka tell me exactly what I did wrong and how they felt about it with a scary level of calm). The crying made it even worse because they started wondering if I was crying to manipulate them (told me so). During the worst of it, these talks happened on a weekly basis. Some couple's therapy later, it gradually got better (I stopped crying and started trying to not feel during the talks because collecting information was more important in those moments) but I was still missing the point entirely and improved at the speed of a dehydrated snail. Somehow, that relationship went on for 3 years before they finally had enough and dumped me. Why? We were torturing each other, plain and simple... and I sadly agree with that. As much as I miss that relationship (they were very loving and supportive outside the talks and we are now becoming tentative friends), I know there were a lot of things wrong with it and it is for the best that we split. Sometimes I wonder if we could try again after we both had the chance to improve (something I am working on and have made progress on), but I am consistently reminding myself that I think that way because that was the longest, most serious relationship I've ever been in... and have been single ever since and am lonely af (and shouldn't be in a relationship because healing+lonely af). I miss the familiarity and presence of another person, not the specific person. I know this is a lot, but I really needed to get this out there. I'm still heavily healing (1 year, baby~) and I need to remind myself of the bad so I don't hyperfocus on the good. Is there a better way to cope? Definitely, but this works for now until I can find something better-- as I said, I'm working on it.

I don’t know if it’s just me but I’m sorry doesn’t mean a whole lot to me personally I’d rather see your actions change instead of constantly hearing you say you’re sorry ❤️

I had a relationship last year and #2 happened without me realizing. I only knew it happened once the relationship ended. I’m better now tho :)

I never thought about myself like this

It seems that it's so easy to be toxic within any relationship that I wonder if there is any point to them sometimes. I feel that I should either constantly apologise or just not speak at all. Just apologise for being alive in the first place. I simply cannot get it right for getting it wrong.

I'm definitely going to use these tips when I start dating. I love this 💘😍

Thanks

Love the improvement in the drawings!

Nice video, good tips, anyways, keep up the good work!

It may be difficult and/or uncomfortable to admit we're making a hurtful choice... there are those that, for a variety of reasons/causes, consistently choose a path/reaction that is hurtful/damaging to their SO. This doesn't make them a bad person, but it likely means the relationship isn't sustainable. And if the regularity of these detrimental choices is brought up, and the habit/mindset isn't resolved, then the relationship is certainly unsustainable. I've been this person, and the frequent detrimental choice was sparing my SO hurtful/difficult truths... even when they insisted they were strong enough to "handle it", their actions when I did communicate candidly set a precident that they couldn't. Dealing with their openly hurt feelings, long silences, and rebuttals, was not worth the risk for me. So I kept sabotaging us by holding back from them. Unsustainable.

I feel like some of these bad traits accompany me with just regular people, but when it comes to relationships I don’t have these issues. Something about having a partner truly brings the best out of me, and at least for me personally, it becomes very troubling when I do all that I can to be as perfect as I can and it seems as though my partner is incapable of putting that same effort in. Just makes me feel like I do 70% of the work to keep things healthy and they do 30%.

NumNumber 2 is on the ball!!

For #2 im more independent and try to help myself and not rely solely on him for support but its like he just forces me to depend on him just as he depends on me

thank you so much

I like the animation just started watching this channel good listen

My friend and her boyfriend went through that it was a misunderstanding but my friend was generally hurt by something he did. He wanted to apologize but every time he tried to he could never work up the courage to do it he never said anything. eventually he did they worked it out at the same time he was so sad when she didn't want to talk to him

Thankyou psych for aro representation just 8 seconds into the vid!!! 💚💚