More videos in this series at ifsca.ca/parenting/
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It can be humbling and challenging to take responsibility for a rupture in our relationships with our kids. And IFS provides us with a way to do this. If we have shamed our kids (shaming part) or screamed at or insulted them (angry part) we can bring compassion to ourselves, to those parts. We can ask inside of our parts: "How come you felt the need to shame? What was the worry?" or "When you were shouting was there a vulnerable part in our system that got triggered that you wanted to distract from?" Once we have the clarity we can move to the repair. Over time, relationships that can weather ruptures, knowing that a repair is coming can develop resiliency. Children can be enormously forgiving of "overreactions". When we can own our parts we are better able to parent from Self and our kids do not need to carry the burden of being "bad". Not to say that boundaries are not important. And if you find yourself needing to justify your actions... you may want to get curious about why.