Friendships can end but let it be known that daddy squarespace will always be here

grief is a good test. when my mom died and my friend dropped everything she was doing and told the people she was running an event with to "deal with it, my friend needs me" so she could drive across the state to be there for her service, that's when i knew she wasn't really my friend, she was my best friend. i've found me a good one and i treasure her.

Honestly ending a long friendship feels worse than a relationship break up

One of my best friends said "true friends can grow separately, without growing apart"

"There's no such thing as a bad friend, there are just people who are not your people." Well said.

1:13 1. When you tell them a hard truth 2. When you achieve significant career success 3. When you get depressed 4. When you grow into a better, different person 5. When you fail publicly and / or miserably 6. When you grieve 7. When you move (houses)

I really had to take a hard look at my "friends" this year and it really was like a grand purge. I cant believe I hung on to people so long that were insulting me all the time and then just saying "it's just a joke" ... it's not healthy when it's clearly not joking. And I've even had their family members tell me things that just made me realize... I dont need that in my life.

I love following Anna as she learns and shares what’s “normal” in relationships because I felt for YEARS that there was something inherently wrong with me because my friendships ended sometimes. Society really does not prepare us to lose friends and that can really mess up our self esteem

I believe that the true measure of friendship is whether you know the person will always be there for you, and whether you make EQUAL contributions to your relationships.

Every time when I watch a movie or drama, the main lead always have 1 or 2 supportive friends that grew up together and stayed together. I always feel a small void watching such theme because I don't have this. The people I thought were my friends, all end up leaving, in a bad way in fact. But it's nice to know that there's a study about friendships where it's normal for people to fade out. I just hope in the future, eventually, I have at least 1 friend. Just 1....even writing this feels sad.

It seems as if people have grouped "friends" into a single narrow group of people who satisfy every type of emotional need; this does not seem accurate to what I've seen in my life over the years. For example, I have certain friends with whom I can see about once every three months, have deep conversations and confidences, but when it comes to more daily support, I have those with whom I mesh regarding base needs (regular social contact, bonding over food, etc.) and others with whom I have deeper conversations and intimate emotional support. Some few overlap in different aspects. I appreciate them all for their presence in my life and also for their differences. I think we each need friend-relationships with different textures.

When my mom got terminally ill I realised most of my friendships were only based on fun. When the fun dissapeared, they did as well

Interesting. I've actually told friends on a number of occasions "I'm just not your person." I've always been the type who doesn't have a lot of friends. I've always sought quality over quantity and because of that I tend to throw a lot of my love into said friendships. But, I am also a realist, and while it pains me when I see a friend growing distant from me, I've always known that this is just a part of life. So it's always bugged me when friends get super apologetic about growing apart from me. I never went anywhere, with technology today it's not hard to text or DM a friend. So, when someone doesn't make the effort, I figure they just aren't invested anymore for whatever reason, and I've literally said to a few of them "It's fine, I'm just not your person." However, it is typically not received well and I'm requested to not word it like that. But hey, it's true!

Rupture and repair is so important. You find out who will put the effort in to heal with you and who would rather never talk to you again than have a hard convo.

What I learnt about friendship is that great friends have their own boundaries and respect yours. This is how you don't burn yourself out and you don't give resentment a chance to grow.

I lost a friendship when I asked them to be a bridesmaid and was told they didn't feel comfortable being in the bridal party because we hadn't hung out in a while (they enjoyed going to brunch every weekend and I wasn't financially in a position to do so). I thought we were pretty good friends until she said that and i realized that she valued her friendship based on the amount of physical time spent together.

Friend's are truly the cause of most of my heartbreaks. Thanks for this, Anna! 💜

I still have no one I can call my close friend... Great insights for when I do have a potential close friend! "Conflicts are the tools to find out if the friends are your people." Beautifully put.

This is actually really timely, I’ve been thinking a lot about friendships and forming meaningful connections in adulthood, especially after my early 20s/friendship collecting stage was cut short by the pandemic and now that I’m out of the bubble that is college. And as a third culture kid, I keep having thoughts on whether my social circle would be bigger rn if I never moved and had stayed in the country I grew up in. Just want to share as well... I’m still recovering from the break up of a six-year friendship. It happened last year. We didn’t pass the grieve test because we were both grieving over people (deaths and heartbreaks). That was our first conflict in six years. So much miscommunication through texts even though I initiated that we meet up. She ghosted me mid argument after I suggested that we break it off so... I think that’s why it’s hard to fully move on. We never got to finish that heated convo lol.

ive always been a big fan of Taliesin Jaffe's approach to friendship (it's in his Between The Sheets interview) where he sees them as orbital and ever-changing and gets excited when he meets someone who he knows he's going to have a period where he sees them for that inevitable period when they're really close and maybe even see each other everyday or close to it for two or so years. it's comforting, how he switches the narrative like that, to be almost seasonal or "this comet of friendship will return in 5 or so years", if that makes sense lmao

Friendship is a myth. People only want what they can get from others. The last so-called friendship I had ended two years ago. I’ve been fully and completely alone for the last two years.

i honestly am done being an extra friend, i value friendships and I think of it like a relationship we prioritize each other, so hoping i find someone with the same thinking

It's never too late to collect new friends. And now is a good time because so many shed so many of theirs.

I'm currently going through a friendship breakup, because they hurt me and 'can't find the time' to hangout. It's been a WHOLE YEAR. But I've learned that if someone makes you feel like ????? after you interacted, they're not good for you. I keep overthinking everything and it's hard not reaching out again, even though I won't get a response. It actually feels like a breakup and I know I will be SO relaxed the day I forget to think about them! Some people come and go, not everyone is supposed to be there the rest of our lives.

I also measure friendship by who remembers your birthday AND reaches out to you on days other than your bday. These are great ways to measure for sure

have been feeling this growing distance with the group of friends i made during college. 4yrs after graduation, meet-ups & conversations don't hit the same and i feel so out of place with them now. i feel that we're all at different stages of life and we have nth in common anymore. it's easy to want to make new friends but it's difficult to actually make some in adulthood 😔

"Conflict is the information you need to figure that out" absolutely love that b/c it helps us remember that conflict isn't a bad thing

When I told my ‘friend’ about my promotion, she reacted with ‘is that really a promotion’? I knew then and there she wasn’t a true friend.

I’m not excited about dealing with both grief and moving this summer. And you are absolutely right. Our friends are the family we create. And we have the responsibility to ensure we surround ourselves with those who support us in all ways ♥️

A friend will help you move. A true friend will help you move a body.

I don't see the point in these close attachments to other people. They never reciprocate the same effort you put into the relationship and when you truly need them, no matter how much turmoil you helped them through, they are never there for you. I never get any closer to someone than as a work colleague any more. Good chance I'll move to another part of the world in 3 to 5 years anyway.

I’ve lost almost all my friends. I only really have family left (my partner, my sisters and their partners). It breaks my heart because at one point I had felt I’d truly found “my people” but turns out they didn’t see it that way towards me. Calling falling out with certain friends “little divorces” is aptly named. It’s heartbreaking to lose people you thought were always going to be there for you. 💔

Friendships are like romantic relationships, draining and take so much work. I love being alone lol

This came in a time where I'm really torn and in pain because of certain friendships. This helped a lot. Thank you so much!

I believe those lost are sometimes referred to as "fair weather" friends.

I'm never able to keep friends for a long period of time and I feel better after watching this! Thanks Anna 😀

Always telling the truth and being depressed is why i have no friends. I actually never had a real friend, just people i was useful to or acquaintances of convenience.

I just realized I didn't lose any friends during the pandemic but that's probably because I tend to maintain only my friendships with people I'm really close with.

I love getting friendship advice from Sasha Waybright /lh

Friendship's are still intact, all these years. Family on the other hand,can keep on stepping and stay clear

Right when I just had light breakdown after accidentally rereading old messages of ex friends who ghosted me 😂 thanks anna

sometimes its ok for friendships to move on and change, didn't mean they weren't real friends at the time.

Anna for me the truest test of friendship is when someone dies who is close to you or when someone has children. My mom died 3 months ago and it showed who cared and didn't care.

Seriously the older you get the less people are willing to battle through a dissagrement for the sake of friendship.

Friendship breakups are so much harder than relationship breakups. I feel like I dont have any close friends. I often feel lonely and dont have someone to talk to when im upset about something.

*Growing together* & supporting each other's growth is so vital... this was insightful, thank you ♡●☆

My friendship with someone I know from 3 years ago came back again and the fact that his already a parent I realized we can't do the same things as we could like before. Sadly I needed to end our friendship because I don't want to be the cause of an argument between him and his partner.

the bit I resonated most with was the parenthood bit where she is holding a cat

Lost of reputation is a huge test. The Will Smith situation is a huge example. Will will truly know who his real friends are!

there are people who are bad friends, people who resent you when you succeed are bad friends people who dont help you when youre down are bad friends if youve been in a street fight or gone from the bottom to the top in terms of money you know that most people are bad friends, and they dont have your back no matter what they might say, only one man in my life is who i consider a good friend.

I had to let go of a 15 year old relationship. It was my one and only close friend. Never had big conflicts, but that one day I started putting boundaries and called out a friend on a bs behavior without insulting her or belittleling her (bc I felt comfortable in our relationship to discuss such matters) and…my friend got mad and left. It was our 1st and last conflict. I noticed many friends of mine either faded (never wrote first, I was always the first one to write) either they stopped talking to me after out first disagreement (and the funny thing is, sometimes I would reach out first to make peace, and people would be very harsh on me, or « forgiving » but then treating me badly so I would eventually stop maintaining a relationship). True friendships when both people have common sense are a real gift !..

What do you do if all the friendships you had in your "friendship collecting stage" have faded away by the time you reach middle age?

Simple to know; When you're vulnerable or opening up about your mental health and they judge you. It means they're not your friends. I've been there. A good thing as well you know who are really there for you.

Love this!! Thank you Anna! I am working on being more ok with the seasonality of friendships.

This surprise me cuz I have always put my friend over even dating. I lost friends because they wanted to date me or via versa so honestly having just friends means so much more to me then even a romantic relationship

Def feeling this right now. Thanks for this Anna, always appreciative of your friendship content

Going through a bad break up and then having the willpower to be a good friend to others is the hardest thing in the world. Especially since u always carry a piece of them with you

Dude I love this convo AA!

I can understand the calm lol, I used to be so scared of tornados but then I lived in Kansas for a little while and realized they're very specific and easy to see approaching ... so it's easy to be laid-back about them as long as you have a clear line of sight lol. (Now that I'm back in Colorado, it's the hail all around a cell and the crazy fleeing drivers that scare me more 😂 ) Anyway here's hoping Eric and his home were/are safe!

Love these little short informative videos Anna ! Nice job ❤️🤝🏾

Since I got my autism diagnosis, I've unmasked around my friends. I discovered that one of my good friends of several years is made anxious and uncomfortable by this version of me, and I haven't got the energy to maintain a friendship that can't serve me after that growth and change. I miss and treasure the good times we had, but I've let her drift away rather than persevere with something that would end in a big fight if I kept pushing.

I just love how your brain access things differently

I know I am soo lucky to still be close friends with people I’ve known since elementary school.

My dad kicked my mom from the house and ruined her reputation last year , my friends were the first to tell (because I chose to move in with my mom in her parents house), whatever they said was supportive however their actions said otherwise , they completely left me out , it was heartbreaking at first but I noticed a positive shift on my life

Impeccable timing with this one. 👏 👏 😅

I love my friends sooo much

That was really good

Does anyone else love rewatching Anna's videos? Like when Im going through another event in my life, I always find it nice to gain a new perspective to her videos~

I've been an Amphibia fan for a while. And today I found out about where Anna started... And I feel like I should have watched these videos long before I heard her as Sasha Waybright, cuz they're good videos

I'm almost 19 and I barely have any friends. Really scared for what is to come

Great vid. Wish it were longer.

I’m currently loosing my best friend and it’s hard. I don’t even know how I ended up not just at the bottom of the totem pole but buried 6 feet under it.

This is so incredibly delivered. Love you for this, Anna ❤️

I would say on a whole my friendships just deepend and grew during the pandemic. They were so important it's how I got through. There was only one long term friend I lost. And unfortunately that was more about me quiting drinking and going to aa. Suffice it to say my life is much better and I'm happy about my choices. Sometimes people revealing their true colors can be the greatest gift in the world!

Personally I believe that the reason it has quadrupled since 1990 is because of electronic devices; people lost their ability to communicate in real life, and/or are too distracted and spend most of their times on electronics.

I moved away from my hometown a year before the pandemic so I haven't been able to go back to visit old friends, but it is telling who has kept in touch and who I've reached out to.

Only very few friendships of mine survived over the years, while many failed. There are some who try to come back time and time again, but I can't anymore

True that.

Thank you Anna my therapist😭❤️

Does anybody else have the urge to wanna check on their ex friends by going through their socials? Tell me it's not just me. Lol

Anna, please get out of my head! Literally woke up this morning thinking my friends don't care about me... and then you go and post this. Really put things in perspective & gave me much to think about! Also when Anna said Scott Derrickson, I was like... "I feel like I've heard that name before..." 🤔 Turns out that he directed Doctor Strange.

I had a massive falling out with my already small circle of friends and you really are right conflict kills. I miss them so much because I did feel like they do all those things then when I said hi you did something that hurt an told them I needed space including time away from there social medias they just refuse to speck to me. So now im like how could u care so little. No one has reached out.

I LOVE that blouse!

With every wave of reckoning, we become more clear about who we are and what nourishes us in friendships..we also learn how we like to show up and nourish our connections. It takes trial and error to find your tribe

Who knew that the first dance step of the Macarena of touching your (and then your friend's) shoulders was also the first step of having a lifelong friend?

As it happens, people outgrow people & it's okay even when it stings

What timing! Just what I needed!

The aggression behind father 🤣🤣🤣 also can I plz have ur therapist

great topic! Love this. Made me think.

i needed this 🥺

i’ve never been this early but this topic feels very important

Looks over lovingly at my friend I’ve kept since middle school* 💖

Real friends will always have your back, no matter what.

Funny enough, all my friendship reckonings happened between 2017-2019. I'm actually grateful, though. I wouldn't choose to go through that during the pain du mie.

Grieving and all of my friends of five+ years kicked me while I was down.

I'm not a big fan of philosophers, but Cicero did have something legit to say about friendship: "Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief." This is what true friendships should do for you.

Thank you so much this helped a little cause when I moved I found out who my real friends were and I found hard to find new friends cause I was very closed off I guess

AHHH SHE'S BACKKK

Wonderful information!! Thanks a lot Anna❤️ This was much needed.

Friends come and go but the ones stick around make time for you