Let me know if you can think of any other qualities an introvert needs in a partner! ☕ If you'd like to show me some love, buy me a coffee ❤️ infj.me/coffee Subscribe 👉 infj.me/sub

At this point, I just want a partner that actually exists tbh.

Not all introverts are quiet because if an introvert gets along with someone or feels an aura about someone that makes the introvert comfortable then that introvert will talk endlessly.

I hate when people ask me: "Why are you so quiet?" Because I am. That's how I function. I don't ask others "Why do you talk so much?" It's rude. - Keanu Reeves

2 introverts in relationship: -I wanna be alone -me too -Ok, thanks for understanding

I feel like it easier to imagine what we need need in a relationship than actually be in one

"I crave the most innocent parts of a relationship. Like holding hands, forehead kisses and being able to tell someone how much I adore them."

Someone who understands that just being in the same room counts as spending time together.

Us introverts are like cats. Like to be alone (at the same time we want attention *SOMETIMES* not all the time. *SOMETIMES* ) We sleep a lot and we kinda quiet And that's all I feel like writing rn 😃

When you started saying "after social event after social event after social event" I GOT DRAINED JUST BY HEARING THAT

When ur the only introvert with a big family of extroverts who don't understand my introvert NEEDS or SPACE Pls can someone relate? 😩

What I need: Someone who can talk to the cashier at a fast food chain for me.

12 years of being married to an introvert as a non introvert. I've had to tell my friends, you have to stop talking because he won't interrupt you, let there be pauses in the conversation if you want to get his opinion. There are so many other things, but it's worth adapting.

My social needs are met by the internet and a trip to the walmart

I would add that introverts aren’t always able to respond to a situation right away: like if you get in an argument, they may need some time to prepare for it (so that it’s a productive one). When introverts are bothered by something, they may not be able to verbalize their thoughts right away. My husband (extravert) and I (introvert) had a lot of trouble with this at one point. He would notice that something was bothering me and he had this need to clear the air right away, and a lot of times I simply couldn’t. The way we solved it: I needed to tell him GENERALLY what it was that was bothering me (i.e. it’s not him, or it is him, but not his fault, etc.). Then I would get some alone time and we dealt with specifics afterwards.

My husband checks all these boxes and is perfect for me. He’s literally everything you mentioned. We’ve been married nearly 20 years. So don’t lose hope fellow introverts!

I’m hella single, but when people ask me if I’m okay or if I’m angry just because I’m quiet actually makes me angry when I wasn’t even angry in the first place.

0:17 - can give introvert space 1:06 - understands that the introvert isnt mad if they are quiet 2:20 - can talk abt things in a deep way 3:24 - understands introverts cant socialise all the time 4:10 - challenges the introvert to grow 4:51 - respects that the introvert is sensitive 5:55 - just right on the introvert-extrovert scale

Most fundamental is that each partner fully appreciates and understands the other's personality type. Lack of understanding makes any foundation for a relationship precarious at best.

In her head: "Why is he always quiet? This is not normal for someone to be this quiet. What if he is thinking of someone else? What if he's planning to leave me??" In his head: "I think i'll get some ice cream."

I dated another introvert. It was great, we really got each other. There were even instances where we would literally be like "Ok, I need some me time, so you need to go," and we were out because we got it.

I am proud to be an introvert. Introverts are deep, thoughtful and intelligent people.

If ppl could just understand as to why we act like this, would make the world a better place to live.

Most Important thing: LOYALTY

Little fun fact I wanted to share with you guys : years ago, someone told me “you don't say much but you speak wisely” (something like that, because we weren't talking in English). As a slightly shy, introvert, INFJ, sensitive, slightly dramatic, deep, spiritual af person, I swear this is the most beautiful compliment someone ever paid me, and I'm still remembering it from time to time 💕

I feel like I’m part of a species that is being investigated xD

I need intelectual conversations

I’ve been married to a total end of the scale extrovert, we were not happy and I was DRAINED. Parties, dîners at friends, concerts, trips abroad, his extrovert mom visiting, dragging me to art shows, restaurants etc...I ended up with high blood pressure and lost. I left him July 2019 and spent the best summer of my life...in my apartment focusing on myself, meanwhile he moved out to share a huge house with 8 roommates! 😂

1. Let them have their alone time 2. Understand their silence is not personal 3. Have deep conversations (introverts are detailed thinkers) 4. Respect their social event limits 5. Challenge the introvert to grow 6. Respect the introvert's sensitivity 7. Know the introvert-extrovert scale (be in the same introvert/extrovert ballpark)

My husband and I are both introverts, but I definitely have the stronger hermit-like tendencies. I need A LOT of alone time.

one good thing about being introverted is i don't feel like i need a relationship to complete/fulfill me in any way!!

My partner and I are both introverts. There are some days when we just talk to each other shortly before work and give us a good night kiss before going to bed because our introvert batteries are empty, so we need our time alone. Or in my case time with the cats and in his case time with his favourite computer game. I was never happier in a relationship because he understands it when I'm feeling exhausted after work because I had to interact with too many people, so he will just bring me a hot chocolate and leave me alone. 😍

You also need someone who stands up for you and can help explain to others that just because you’re quiet does not mean that you are mad , unsocial, judgmental or stuck up.

I think specifically INFJs just need someone who generally has a kind and understanding soul.

What do I need as an introvert? SPACE

"I do my thing, you do your thing" Her: Socializing. Me: Sleeping.

No one understands the introverts more than this fella❤️

It’s a self fulfilling prophecy, ask me enough times why I’m quiet or want to be alone and if I’m not upset or angry and I will be upset and angry 🤷🏼‍♀️

We need someone that understands😔

My husband understands why I need my space, he respects how much I need it and most of all, he protects my space from others. And he is an extrovert. I adore him. So dear fellow introverts, miracles do exist, do not settle for less, there will be a partner who will defend your introvert rights for you.

“Let me enable you, you beautiful shut-in.” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

If my romantic partner doesn't call me "beautiful shut-in", I don't want anything

I got triggered when you started talking about "understand that the introvert isn't mad if they are quiet" I literally can not stand people asking me "Are you ok, you seem quiet?" like people just automatically assume I'm mad because I'm not saying anything!

It sucks being in a family of extroverts, when I am way too quiet as a person.

The first point is really important. One of the reasons why the relationship with my ex ended was because he didn’t give me enough space. We went to the same school and therefore saw each other very often. So I asked him multiple times to give me more space and alone time because I need it to be emotionally balanced. But he kept pushing me, invading my space and didn’t understand me at all. It was like he was giving me even less space than after I asked him for it. Which eventually resulted into our breakup. So I really hope that my next partner will be someone who can actually respect my boundaries and the fact that I regularly need alone time.

Frank: "Introverts do need to socialize...I don't want to let introverts off the hook." Me: Dammit, Frank!

Introverts get partners? I must've missed the memo - INTJ

“Introverts are just quiet. Most obvious thing I’ve probably said on this channel.” Yes. Yes it is.

In two words: An introvert needs an introvert

In a perfect world, my ideal introvert partner and I would live in a house that is laid out in a way that I can go to my half of the house and he’s on his half and we have a our separate, introvert alone time for a few hours so that i can actually miss him. And when I am ready to see his face and he is ready to see mine.. we meet in the middle of the house and be quiet together.

"Oh, you never want to go outside? Let me enable you, you beautiful shut in..." Lmao This line killed me.

We simply don't "need" a partner

My ex needs to see this, he never understood & I had to walk away from our 6years old relationship

I'm very introverted. I like to date people who are just slightly more extroverted than me. But unfortunately...they usually want to date people more extroverted than themselves too.

And this is why I, as an introvert, date an introvert. Our own quiet times alone are great. I don’t need to explain why I need my quiet time, and he doesn’t have to explain it to me when he needs it. Our conversations are wonderful as well. It also helps that we’re both on the Autism spectrum so we really understand each other’s needs. DATING SOMEONE LIKE YOU IS NOT A BAD THING!!! Don’t date someone exactly like you, for example interests, but date someone who understands you very well because they are like that themselves.

When I’m social then I’m really talkative, but when I need to recharge the problems arrive. People’s overthink my choices too much. I just need a break 😂😂😂

I’m just watching this video because I’m bored and binge watching KZfaq and Netflix but then there’s people that will take this video and apply it to every single introvert there is.

There must be someone compatible out there, we just need to work on finding them.

As an INTJ i only wants someone that doesn't judge my behavior & why i hate intimacy & doesn't force me on doing it until i'm comfortable 😕

I’m an introvert and I can never imagine having a partner 😂😂😂

I like how he says "my introvert" like its a pet or something

INFJ: I need someone who has a solid identity

As an ENFP who has *always* had relationships with introverts, I wanted to add that I learned not to get offended when my introvert declines a social event that is important to me. Sometimes it’s difficult, but I try to understand how draining Grandma’s 90th birthday weekend can be (as an example). Good relationships involve compromise on both sides, and sometimes that means attending events alone, as the extrovert.

I'm an introvert (INFP), in a relationship with someone even more introverted than me. It is indeed exhausting to be responsible for our social life, to the point that I gave up. I have friends and activities outside of the home, and I offer him to come knowing everytime he'll say no I'll be going alone. Living with such a radical introvert has helped me understand how extroverts feel around me

just hearing "social event" repeated over and over made me want to crawl under my desk especially after listening to my coworker talk endlessly to herself all........... day......... long 🥵🥵🥵

Im an ENFP and I often make introverts friends,,,, I literally love, respect and appreciate their qualities and they're all I need emotionality and intelectually.

My ENFJ boyfriend recently told me that "it would be nice" if I were more spontaneous. It turned out that what he meant was "more extraverted". Honestly, it hurts a bit - I never asked him to be different from how he is

This is definitely outlines everything I have come to find out. Also as introverts we need to also focus on learning how to atleast start a conversation and not just leave everything to chance. I have managed to be able to talk to people about stuff that its important, also I can actually say "good morning" to people at work. Sounds silly but it use to be nerve wracking even thinking about saying something.

Number 2. Spot on !!!!. It really annoys me when people keep asking how I'm feeling, just because I'm quiet. Also in a group of discussion, out of the blue, in the middle of the debate, someone ask why I'm quiet. It's because I'VE BEEN LISTENING to you guys !!!! I respect you and your opinion by listening the whole story and not cutting your sentences.

INTJ here : I need someone who’d give me a lot of space alone and will listen to me when I talk. All the time I spend alone is thinking of very interesting subjects and making those insightful links.. I’m preparing myself to how I should say my ideas out loud so when I’m talking to you about something I have been thinking about for weeks, it really matters to me. I an be coming up with a new philosophy huh? Everything was well thought

what I need in a partner... a mindreader cos I have trouble communicating what I need or want ...

I'm really glad he said that for number three. Processing the world at a deep level. Small talk being exhausting. It's also neat how he talked about introverts not talking much. I like how he enjoys talking about things that he faces every day. I get so talkative when it's about personality type or my introvertedness.

About the sensitive thing you literally hit the nail on the head, literally I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been on a family trip (where there’s a lot of people - obviously not recently) for the day when I’m actually having a good time (cause I’ve had time to prepare mentally 👍) but someone else gets into an argument or gets annoyed for a second and my mood just goes completelyyy downhill, even when everyone else forgets about it 😣 I actually can’t get over it cause I’m stuck with these same people for the next two hours

I've just watched your video "beating social anxiety" so I'm doing my first little step - leaving my first public comment here XD. So thank you, you're doing an amazing job and helping me lot. I can relate to every word you say. Thank you so much. You're the best❤️❤️❤️

Well you explained pretty much everything about my last relationship that didn’t work 😅

I just discovered your videos and I want to say thank you. I never understood what my deal was …thought I had social anxiety disorder turns out I’m just an introvert. Every video I watch sounds like you’re talking directly to me. Thank you so much

I'm in a distant relationship with another introverted girl, we're both INFPs, I just spent the weekend with her and now I'm crying in the train back home because I already miss her.

Ms an introvert who never goes any where: 👀

The amount of wisdom and taste you've exhibited in this video is...outstanding 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 You win at everything Frank!

These are pretty spot on. GOD Bless You.😊 Going into separate rooms to cool down before talking after an argument is a good idea for everyone though.

Yeah, there's no chance of me finding a partner. I'd need to leave the house first. Also there are waaay too many narcissists out there. 😕

I started to comment "I need someone who can give me space" but then the video started and I realised its the first thing one the list😂 love you FJ please make more videos about introverts! And congrats on 500k subs💙

That was absolutely spot on! Great info Frank. I love it.

Great points, especially about understanding that the introvert isn't mad if they're quiet. Love this video!

I feel like Frank James might be an introvert, who is speaking, through a video, to a partner (possibly ex) about what they could/should’ve done. I’m a shut in.

I have never met a person who doesn't get mad at me for wanting my space, it sucks

This vid is so bang on. As an introvert, I really appreciate this dude and his vids.

Deep conversations. That is what gets me in social situations. People generally flow from one topic to another and if something peaks my interest and I start thinking about it when I become aware of my surroundings again I am totally lost to the current conversation and it takes time to figure out what they are talking about now and sometimes I never catch up and I get lost in thoughts of how did they go from Star Wars to rabbit food.

As an INFJ : The platonic relationships I have with my friends are just as a relationship with a partner...

I miss Frank calmly rambling to us in the dark by his bed

I was listening to KZfaq as I usually do at bedtime and this video just randomly started and made me sit up and listen. My partner needs to hear this. I am an Introvert and I really need for my partner to listen to this also because I’ve been trying to explain to him everything that’s right here in this awesome video. Maybe he’ll understand me better if he hears someone else. I really hope so anyways 💯💖‼️

The thing is though, I’m just about as introverted as it gets so if I were to date someone close to as introverted as I am, unless we both just happen to be at the same place at the same time on our occasional social events we’re probably both happily at home 😂

My SO is an introvert. He is way more introvert than me. He did say “I like that we both just like to stay at home” but he also told me “you’re more extroverted than me”. I do think that I become the more extrovert one when I’m with him. I’d want to be with him constantly although we’re not doing anything. Just enjoying the quiet time. No talking, just enjoy each other’s presence. And that is the best thing of this relationship. But yeah, the need of alone time is no joke 😂 it is a non negotiable thing

I love your channel. Growing up in a big loud family thats very outgoing, it was a challenge for me as the quiet one. After hearing people ask me if im ok all throughout my life made me question myself alot. Now being older i view it more as a strength than weakness. So i laugh and just appreciate how accurate your videos are. 🙌

Glad that you pointed out No.7. This introvert/extrovert scale thing really is important to find the right partner! For example, I’m INFP and I find ENFP and ENFJ are good match as they are slightly more extroverted but still calm and somewhat reserved.

Where were you all my life???!! I'm 100% an introvert and have learned so much about myself through this video! Seriously all of my pleasant and horrifying experiences flashed in my mind and now make sense! Thank you so much! Now, if can just play this for everyone in my world! #3,4 &6 really hit home

As an INFJ, I would add #8: We hate friction/tension/stress in a relationship. We need to be with someone who’s on the same page on issues that are important to us. Otherwise, there will be a lot of tension and stress between the two, and any important communication will be severely limited due to the introvert not wanting to deal with the same arguments over and over again with there not being any way to resolve them.

There are different types of quiet. I can't be the only one who can tell this. I have to keep telling my Dad that just because I'm quiet when he's driving me somewhere doesn't mean something I have a problem. I don't have something to verbalize 24/7. Sometimes a girl just to be quiet and be in deep thought.

As much as I enjoy going out, attending social events, talking to people on the street and all that, these things drain my social energy, which I need to recharge regularly. My relationships with extroverts, both romantic and otherwise, made me more aware of this need and of the fact that there are always going to be people who find it hard to understand and respect it simply because they can't relate to being socially exhausted. Asserting my need for periodic alone time and fulfilling this need bruised some relationships, but it helped me understand that differences in introversion-extraversion are an important factor in determining compatibility between partners and that recognizing and accepting these differences is essential to building and maintaining a healthy relationship. Like you said, when it comes to introversion and extraversion, it has to be just right :) ... I'm curious, how long did you sit there and wait, you beautiful shut-in? :P

You actually put words on everything I've ever thought, thank you man !