7 Tricky Narcissist Mind Games That Work (Unless You Know)
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Күн бұрынThe Narcissist's mind games work because they play on how our minds are wired. In this video, we cover 7 sneaky narcissist mind games that will work... unless you know what to look for.
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#gaslighting #narcissist
*In this video, I share the tips, techniques and insights that have worked for me in my own journey of healing after narcissistic abuse along with expert tips and tools I've learned through years of coaching narcissistic abuse survivors. I am not a therapist and this video is not meant to provide therapy of any form. #narcissist #covertnarcissist
@jonathanwilberger3190 2 жыл бұрын
As a golden rule, narcissism usually stems from insecurity and selfishness. I have learned from years of dating that whenever a partner is laying down rules that they themselves do not follow, it's time to say goodbye. Also if they nit pick about your appearance or any other of your routines in your life, that's a big red flag. If someone is trying to change who you are or mold you into what they want you to be, it's time to get out of that relationship. We all need to know our value and be able to see our worth. Nobody deserves to be abused by a narcissistic individual.
@nikkijohnson-russell2742 2 жыл бұрын
My ex had a hairy and I mean bear hairy chest and I found it masculine and attractive! One time I asked him if he ever thought of shaving it and he said that was q shit I don’t wanna have my comment removed so I’m using q hope you aren’t offended I didn’t say it! Well he had an affair after faking a fallout sending me to prison as a result and lost our son well he did nothing to get him back the whole time I was gone but rather played house with an ex friend of mine and a chic I’d never met! He shaved his chest for her and has been doing so ever since! But I thought it was qu stuff? I’m forever confused he is never the same never consistent and forever accusing me of this or that and finding fault with my choices of natural medicines instead of western pharmaceuticals all of a sudden.. and having a drink is bad and our relationship has ended after divorcing and beginning again he has taken in this bs now as abusive behavior before it was physical and emotional and mental! Just emotional and mental now and running when he wants to be physically abusive! Hey that’s progress but is it truth? I never know! I’m so damaged I hate me and my life and I just want to die! I’m confused and he breadcrumbs and baits me until explosive rage! It’s not a new thing it’s a 26 year long tortuous treacherous hell I’ve been living in and still I long for him and try and explain and continually apologize for stuff I don’t need to apologize for it’s so damn ridiculous and I want the cycles to stop so badly but I’m so trauma bonded!
@jonathanwilberger3190 2 жыл бұрын
@@nikkijohnson-russell2742 that word doesn't offend me personally. I grew up in a time when people weren't offended over words. And to be honest, I have tons of body hair from head to toe. It's super soft and keeps me warm in the winter lol. Everyone is different and has different likes and dislikes. I've found that some women are turned off by the body hair and some women absolutely love it. What is most important is how we feel about ourselves because a really low self esteem can make us vulnerable to abusive individuals. Your ex sounds like he has personal problems and insecurities that directly affect his behavior. None of his cheating, mind games or abuse are your fault.
@KhoaNgo-sr4zq Жыл бұрын
Selfishness is a understatement, Monstrously selfish is more accurate , these people truly don't care for anyone but themselves, if others can see what they they truly are , no one would want to be in the same room as them , but these narcissist are deceptive and can fake empathy and being good to trick others . They are sick people, everything they speak ,imagine them in a stray jacket , because that's exactly what you are dealing with. Another thing I noticed over the years is they tend to be boring , that's what happens when all your effort and mind is in to looking cool or superior or just for your ego , you don't really dive into other subjects, its all just things relevant to their ego .They care ALOT how they are view by the public, very fragile and serious on how they are viewed by the majority, way way more than a normal person . The best thing and only thing really you can do is to get away from them and go no contact , never speak to them again or interact with them . Detect early , the earlier the better , get away as soon as possible and stay away , never return no matter what , go no contact and Grey rock in the mean time if you can't get away immediately. They will go back and forth with you until you ir they kill eachother or when you get away after a long time , its gonna just be painful memories. Pray for them from afar .
@anonymous-ze2ug 10 ай бұрын
Sorry but you are a bit nutty I left a narc for far less then that and something is wrong if you are locked up and not him.
@harveyrobson5194 9 ай бұрын
@@jonathanwilberger3190😊😊
@Scoobydoo187 2 жыл бұрын
As soon as you realize, cut them off immediately. Silence is your best weapon, block the number. They point out your flaws, they know your insecurities . They will never change. They are incapable of loving you. You are on point.
@pique-nique 2 жыл бұрын
I lived with many narcissists for many years of my life. What I experienced was MUCH worse than anything you describe. They were cruel, manipulative, violent abusers with no capacity for empathy or sympathy for anyone else. Their only concern EVER was for and about themselves. I didn’t understand what was happening until I researched for myself what was going on. Then I walked away with no regrets. To everyone who might read this: if you discover you are being damaged by a narcissist, RUN! JUST RUN AND DON’T LOOK BACK!
@alimccreery755 Жыл бұрын
I believe you, I left home when I was 16 and I never went back 👍
@tammyfitzgerald5336 Жыл бұрын
They f absolutely in sane where the smart drs dam dam closed our mental f hospital s now what fools
@happypink6913 2 жыл бұрын
1. Intermittent reinforcement... positive feedback followed up by negitive feedback. 2. Baiting... they say and do things to get emotional reactions out of you, to make you look bad. 3. Intellectual bullying... gives you a whole lot of info to you to confuse you and overwhelm you. 4. Bedcrumbing... gives you just enough to keep you hooked and comming back to them. 5. Triangulation They pit people against each other to favor them. 6. Exaggeration.... gaslighting calling you a liar, and pointing out all your flaws to make themselveslook more important and better than others, for one reason or another. 7. Mirroring .... they fake your movements and personal intrests to use it against you.
@dshepherd107 2 жыл бұрын
Thx for writing down the list! Appreciate it 🙂
@melodeeplath9597 2 жыл бұрын
Awesome!
@bearlove8006 2 жыл бұрын
Wow, I wish I knew this sooner. I could have avoided some bad situations knowing these
@kevinmartin4784 2 жыл бұрын
How can one be so aggressive with the BS, but so weak and sensitive when you mirror their behavior?
@phoenixrising8007 2 жыл бұрын
@Mary Carroll The X would usually trip over his lip with friends/family or whom he saw as an audience. He would silently compete for attention, those vulnerable coverts are silent but deadly !
@12thDecember 2 жыл бұрын
I've been lucky not to be stuck with narcissists in my life. As soon as I suspect someone is manipulating me, if I feel worse after being around them instead of better or the same, that's a huge red flag and it's time to cut them out of my life. I do have an advantage, though, in that I'm content to be alone. For those who really need to feel a connection with others, I can see how hard it might be to walk away.
@lynette599 2 жыл бұрын
Same here...I love people, but also love to be alone. And, it must be a miracle, or maybe just that the narcissists I have come in contact with, sensed that I would not be an 'easy' victim and rather looked elsewhere.
@scarlettclark1939 2 жыл бұрын
Listen to your gut. It never lies. When you get a bad feeling about someone, run away and don't look back. I too love being alone, or in the company of animals. That is when I feel happiest.
@icewallflatearth1158 2 жыл бұрын
People who can have control of if you feel good or worse around really stems from you having a very weak mind.. The mind is a terrible thing to waste.. We're not living on a spinning ball globe earth. Being hurdled throughout space at 66,000 mph. While spinning at 1000+mph
@enochrry6024 2 жыл бұрын
I learned not to let my entire life be controlled off completely ""Feelings""..I watch what people ""Do"" in actions more than anything..I control my feelings not others, has become a major key in controlling my life.
@mrjaybennett80 2 жыл бұрын
Well hold on now, it all depends on what they are manipulating.
@JamesGreenier 2 жыл бұрын
Dumped her. Sucks. But I just can’t deal with this for the rest of my life.
@JamesGreenier 2 жыл бұрын
@Mary Carroll Thank you, sending you ❤️.
@sippndipp 2 жыл бұрын
I'm finished with relationships for good. I'll never expose myself to a woman again. Seems like I attract only narcissistic females.
@JamesGreenier 2 жыл бұрын
@@sippndipp I don’t blame you. Sometimes I think social media has ruined society.
@superchuck3259 2 жыл бұрын
@@sippndipp Dude, you are literally a SANDWICH and they want to eat you up! Selfish eaters....
@andreaharris2443 2 жыл бұрын
They love to rush you into relationship as well and they try and act like they did nothing wrong but act like you crazy
@allowedtotalk8910 2 жыл бұрын
At age 24, I was manipulated and fooled big time. I am 65, healed, and finally I now love myself enough to stay away from the cruel people in my in-laws and anywhere I go.
@damienwelch9067 Жыл бұрын
Wow 😮took sum years
@Fennerfunnyfarm 3 ай бұрын
So happy for you! I'm still suffering in this marriage but I will thrive again. At 55yrs old, what a living hell 8 years in and no sign of being able to leave anytime soon, but I will get free! Take care of you!
@janetstonerook4552 2 жыл бұрын
I let my family narcs mistreat me much more than I would have any one else. My late mother had somehow given me the message that I should hold everyone together after she passed. It's been 5 years since I declared that wasn't happening anymore! It's been great! Less aggravation, more time for me and more money in my bank account!!!
@livelife5890 2 жыл бұрын
Good for you. Seriously. Best thing for your health in these cases is to let go of these toxic people.
@nejiskafir8198 2 жыл бұрын
I am very keen on picking up when someone is trying to manipulate me. I can't guarantee I am immune, but I do notice when someone is trying to fluff my skirt.
@LenaLane-qh4kl 2 жыл бұрын
I was involved with a narcissist for almost 2 years. I feel like he studied my post on Facebook and decided that the post read an empathetic woman. Not to mention I’m in my 40’s and he was 7 years younger than me. He needed a mature woman due to him not having a positive mother figure growing up, he was in the foster system. Around after 3 months things went from adventurous to toxic, what I called the end of a baiting tactic. He seen that I was in love with him and then the red flags came. They were waving in the wind and I paid them no mind. The disrespect start coming and then an apology was not too far behind, the bread crumbing became present. I can go on but when we broke up, it was so much roller coasting it would make me sick! I’m so glad that I’m out of that situation, it can cause anxiety because you don’t know which person you’re going to get!
@kennethlapointesongwriter3330 2 жыл бұрын
Yes, sadly I've observed all these gimmicks and traits of a narcissist. I also had one encounter with a sociopath, which is like a narc x100. Luckily I'm quite intuitive on a spiritual level, I can basically sense when a person isn't being genuine...it's not their words it's their body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, fake laugh, just really a deeper level of communication with them. Look at their ACTUAL intentions and their ACTUAL actions, not their words. Anyone can say anything.
@superchuck3259 2 жыл бұрын
Fake laugh, like the political actors.
@brianfalls2988 2 жыл бұрын
It s called spiritual discernment. Look that up.
@cherylahanzel7540 2 жыл бұрын
My x DIL. IT Was like wow.
@rosebud_blooming 2 жыл бұрын
Kindred spirit
@lbali2896 2 жыл бұрын
I wish I had that, would save me alot of strife
@NatalieG427 2 жыл бұрын
Yes, I can relate to some of this. I have an older sister who is a Malignant Narcissist. She loved being an only child & didn’t want a sibling. Mind games, gaslighting i.e. doing things & then trying to convince me or others that I did it. Physical abuse- picking fights with me, slapping me or hitting, etc. used emotional black mail against my Mom, “ You either always stick up for me or I’ll take my car & leave & you will never see me again “. She got on Facebook and now has all of my grammar school class mates on HER page. Since my Mom died at 90 back in 2014, I have not talked to her. She’s 3 years older than I am & I will turn 59 this year. I wish that when parents see this in their family, they would just get the Narcissist to a shrink & at least try to sort this all out early. Because the Narcissists are so destructive & it can last a lifetime.
@carlab1748 Жыл бұрын
The Narcissist' mind games is a thinking game like playing Chess, When my Husband tries to play Mind Games with me, he usually loses, because what he says and does is so repetitive, and he is so predictable, I usually know what his next move is going to be. CHECKMATE!
@catlady6938 2 жыл бұрын
My ex has done all of these things. He recently hoovered which didn’t work I might add, but I noticed he was mirroring what I was saying, I found it interesting to observe what he was doing, he also went for my sympathy and when I had enough and backed off, he went straight into love bombing. It was such bizarre behaviour. Thanks to videos like yours I was able to be aware of all these things. I think it’s sad really that narcissists are like this and will not even try and get help, they are just doomed to be miserable.
@someguy9519 2 жыл бұрын
Mine was diagnosed with acute melancholia at age 14...but it was a manipulation; he was the eldest, his brother was 4 years younger then his mum had a daughter which is when it started.
@catlady6938 2 жыл бұрын
@@someguy9519 it’s interesting that is what changed your ex. I talked through things with mine and mentioned his childhood he didn’t like that and told me not to go there. I always knew something had happened in his childhood to make him like this.
@marquepoolejewer9427 2 жыл бұрын
Me too 😂 and it was a movie I never ordered
@nicolewagner6549 2 жыл бұрын
Same here. My ex did (or at least tried) every single one of these things. I was vulnerable to some, but not others. Intellectual bullying doesn't work on me because I have been surrounded by lawyers , politicians and manipulative people my whole life. I have have enough practice disentangling their word webs to avoid being overwhelmed. Baiting worked for a while. If I lost control of my emotions and raised my voice, he'd laugh and say "Look at you getting so upset." And "I didn't say that." about things he just said. I started screenshotting some of his BS and sending it to others to confirm I wasn't imagining things. That made his triangulation worse. He wanted to discredit the people who got in the way of his psychological power over me. He tried to make me distrust everyone but him, saying he was the only one who was honest with me. Meanwhile, he was anything but honest. He had so many lies, he couldn't keep track of it all. You are not crazy. Sorry you had to deal with a person like that. I'm glad that I finally separated from the one who was doing these things to me.
@melinatedvessel6840 2 жыл бұрын
@@someguy9519 Acute melancholia? I need to research this..Thanks...
@BrendaLG 2 жыл бұрын
I’ve had 2 long term “best friends” who did all of these things. It took me way too long to see it and to walk away. One of them stalked me on Facebook for well over 6 years. Thanks for articulating and validating what I experienced.
@toad1971 4 ай бұрын
Ive had a couple of close friends over the years who were toxic also. I now try to understand myself better and why I attract these people. Its pretty eye opening learning about Narcissism like watching rhis video.
@pukasmom 2 жыл бұрын
I've learned so much since I learned about Narcissists and what was going on with those relationships, but the most powerful lesson I've learned is to trust myself and discern others.Not be judgemental but listen to my intuition. Those feelings you get when someone is lying to you for example. You can't prove their lying to you so you give them the benefit of the doubt and it turns out badly for you, if you woruld have trusted your instinct you could have saved yourself alot of heart ache. Anyone have those hindsights? Trust yourself and don't ever abandon yourself for another person. You matter! How you feel matters , it ends up being all about them and keeping them happy and it never works they end up sucking the life out of you and hurting your health and well being. They try to disrupt and put out that beautiful Light 🔆 that was shinning when they met you. They jealous of your Light because they can't connect to their own light and its sad but there is nothing you can do save them. They are great teachers though they teach us how to learn to Love ourselves . They teach us to grow.... I hope everyone finds their way out of these relationships and finds themselves again...Aloha
@bethanienaylor 2 жыл бұрын
Aloha! Thank you!
@Truestorycory 2 жыл бұрын
So I know I'm with this type of person. I've gone back so many times, it's so draining. Nothing has changed at all. Thank you for these videos
@MyChihuahua 2 жыл бұрын
The best defense is disinterest and detachment. They will find a way to leave you when they can't trigger you anymore.
@superchuck3259 2 жыл бұрын
Maybe part of you needs this or feeds this behavior. Just be aware and don't fall for the bait. Meaning like in Football, the other team will taunt and maybe even make a shove here or there. It is the one that shoves back that gets blamed and gets the Flag and penalty. Keep healthy boundaries!
@elinkennedy1879 2 жыл бұрын
Your not alone..me too xx
@Truestorycory 2 жыл бұрын
@@superchuck3259 agreed I see myself feeding into it plus having a child with her makes it that much more difficult
@superchuck3259 2 жыл бұрын
@@Truestorycory When in doubt, bail out early. No living together, no kids together, no engagement etc. If you see signs she is not the one, don't even get laid, just get out. It very well could be a trap. Remember when it comes to emotional game, you won't come out on top, you simply lack the practice!
@Rheeps1 2 жыл бұрын
This video was so difficult to watch, I was stuck in an abusive relationship with a narcissist for 5 years, I never knew what a narcissist was, what all these things were called. I sit and have a thousand examples to every point you make and that’s why I found this so difficult to watch, I get frustrated and feel angry at the mind games and the confusion of being at the receiving end of his mind games. it’s so important though, I’ll be on the lookout for these signs for the rest of my life. Thank you! I wish I’d found your page sooner x
@happymood2278 2 жыл бұрын
My experience exactly. Wish you all the best🤗
@kwill8742 2 жыл бұрын
It’s so sad how common these situations are. I’m trying to maintain the strength to not fall into bad habits. How did you get out, if you don’t mind me asking?
@rubymuncey1766 2 жыл бұрын
I was.in the same.mess for over5 years but not anymore what a mess especially when he would lie and cheat. And get caught up on and try putting it on me wow.what.a mine game no one needs to put their life through. Such..game I found myself.and Iet it go thank God I am blessed
@jellybean6778 2 жыл бұрын
Was in the same position in a relationship, but for over 10 yrs. Didn't know what it was called but after getting out of that situation a few years later found myself in a situation inwhich my supervisor's behavior was eerily similar and equally abusive. I started searching for ways to deal with difficult people at work and stumbled on videos on youtube, and was educated! Now I know what it's called and am very careful about getting entNgled in any situation in which I have to endure these tactics. I am quick to recognize these things and try to educated others and to encourage others to learn how to protect themselves.
@shawnforce2462 2 жыл бұрын
My life for past 6 1/2 years too 😞🤮time to go
@rachell4417 2 жыл бұрын
Rinse repeat. Lies. No idea how hurtful it is. Karma
@Joy1957K 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you.... my eyes are truly opened to my husband. I figured there was a lot of manipulation by him, and now, after 42 yrs..... he definitely IS a narcissist.
@janetpattison8474 2 жыл бұрын
Sincere congratulations on your new awareness, I've been in a similar boat for a long time. Thank God for the amazing YT ppl & videos!
@Joy1957K 2 жыл бұрын
@@janetpattison8474 Here here good luck to you
@berrisfueller6221 2 жыл бұрын
I hope you can get the hell away from him!
@malabhola114 11 ай бұрын
42 years. With me too. Dont know which way to turn.
@avgonyma1 2 жыл бұрын
1. 1:04 INTERMITTENT REINFORCEMENT: You get positive feedback (love, approval)and negative feedback (anger, jealousy, rage) - intermittently..the reward is inconsistent and gets you hooked. (The addiction doesn't happen if the reward is there or isn't there, but consistently) Every narcissist will use it, consciously or not. It's used for the purpose of control. A clue could be: hot-and-cold behaviour (mixed messages). Acting cold for no reason or ghosting after a few months. (Jackyl and Hide, push-pull) 2. 3:31 BAITING: If they know they can say sth that will trigger you, they will say it, to their advantage. (1.It will make them feel powerful and in control 2.it will make you look like you're the problem, in front of an audience) 3. 4:36 INTELLECTUAL BULLYING: They will throw a lot of information at you, to throw you off your game. The info can be about a topic, or just word salad. (It implies you're inferior). This way they prevent you from reaching your goal of clarifying things with them. (Sales people also do that). It gives them upper hand in communication and in the negotiation. (Let the seller know it's getting a bit too convoluted and you're stepping out) 4. 6:42 BREADCRUMBING: Either early on or later: between a discard and a hoover. They like to know that you're on the hook They're giving you just enough communication, just enough positive reaffirmation, to keep you interested and wondering if they will come back. (To keep you thinking about them) we tend to think that things we have to work harder for are more valuable. 5. 7:20 TRIANGULATION: Pinning people against each other. They will do it in all sorts of relationships (boss-employee, parent-child, partners). It will make you work harder for their approval. 6. 8:48 EXAGGERATION (and GASLIGHTING): They retail the events inaccurately, blowing it out of proportion. This makes you doubt yourself and how you behave, instead of think of what you wanted to do You will be more prone to take on their reality. 7. 10:24 MIRRORING (LIMBIC SYNCHRONY) Similar posture, body language, tone of voice, volume etc. It can be faked with the goal of creating connection. ============= Use your intuition, be observant and look for red flags.
@june.w.1288 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you very much! Well summed up!
@avgonyma1 2 жыл бұрын
@@june.w.1288 you're welcome! 👍
@saab6032 2 жыл бұрын
Better than them
@kellymead1139 2 жыл бұрын
I've summed them all up ,as soon as I come into contact with them ,what such VILE INDIVIDUALS ,KEEP AWAY FROM ME 😡😡🤬🤬🤬 YOU ARE SCUM ,PLAYING BIG BREADCRUMBS , VINDICTIVE NARCISSISTIC SOCIAPATHS THAT JUST CAN'T RESIST DOING IT .
@bsyjkshy4752 2 жыл бұрын
Some of these are what criminal lawyers do in a courtroom, what salespeople do to convince, what bosses do to make a team deliver outcomes... how else to distinguish?
@LL-el8sl 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you and you look lovely your skin is glowing. Sadly I was with a narcissist for a few months and he actually likes to play mind games. I am an empath sadly I didn't see until I was discarded.
@benedicta7490 2 жыл бұрын
Laura J Leon . God saved you
@user-cy4vw1qj9m 2 жыл бұрын
What about the narcissist neighbor
@kevinmartin4784 2 жыл бұрын
Only a few months? You dodged a bullet. They usually still studying you. Your blessed.
@tripfisk4246 2 жыл бұрын
Sadly, both my parents were narcissists and so as an adult I unconsciously accept narcissistic behavior in love interests as "normal".
@harrietthespy2119 2 жыл бұрын
Omg! Spot on and so upsetting to be the target of their narcissistic bullying part! The target looks like the crazy, over-sensitive or petty one🤯🤬
@harrietthespy2119 Жыл бұрын
@@oscarwilliamson1128 thank you!
@martinbadenhorst5632 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for the information. I have been played before by a narcissist so im very careful now. Thank you for sharing this with us.
@tarrantcountykid 2 жыл бұрын
Firstly, I think narcissists usually are either handsome or beautiful or otherwise desirable to people and they learned early in life how to manipulate people who were loving on them to get what they want.
@nsitzlar 2 жыл бұрын
NOPE NOT TOTALLY HANDSOME....IT COULD BE YOU LIKE EDUCATED PPL. ANY LITTLE THING LIKE THAT
@tarrantcountykid 2 жыл бұрын
Maybe you both missed that I said “or otherwise desirable to people “. I don’t mind you adding your opinions but don’t flat out say I’m wrong when you’re so obviously unobservant.
@Ardistan667 2 жыл бұрын
The exaggeration example was stunningly relatable to me. I was once dragged into a conversation defending myself for two hours, simply trying to kindly explain why I would not be up for my girlfriend’s suggestion to go to a certain place over a weekend at a certain point. I then afterwards initiated a conversation with her, explaining how I see a problem in the way we relate to each other based on difficulties in resolving differences in opinions/preferences about what activities to do together. In turn, she had a meltdown, accusing me of plotting to ditch her and also evading my points by not replying to my request of what is going on that I have to spend an entire afternoon getting my “no” across, but instead saying things along the lines of “it is incredibly difficult for me to discuss this with you when you throw mud on our entire relationship like that and I wonder if you are done with us”. So all of a sudden, I was being put into a situation where I had to argue and explain myself that I did not try to abandon her at all, but that I just see a problem with feeling pressured and aggressively persuaded into compliance, and this became the main struggle of the conversation, ending in a rage attack and a one week long silent treatment as well as the cancellation of our entire vacations ahead on her initiative (it was a temporary long-distance situation). So, effectively, because I disagreed about a single specific request for a trip to a certain town, the entire relationship took a heavy blow. This is just a very general summary. But the basic issue was that apparently it was not part of her script that her partner was allowed to reject a plan she had envisioned and that when I recognized that, trying to go past the confusion and ask what is going on, she got highly uncomfortable and exaggerating my legitimate request for resolution so that she would never have to take accountability for her own conduct and throwing the ball right back to me. And when I refused to take the bait and insisted on resolution of my request, sanctions would follow in form of overt acts of aggression such as fits of rage and punishment via silence or cancelling vacations.
@davidmuyllaert8364 Жыл бұрын
Welcome to the club. I've spent 5 years explaining to her that I can't be out in the heat because I get anxious. "Be a man!" or "You're pathetic!" will get thrown at me. Or worse. We live in Spain. It gets hot. I don't want to be outside. "No" is the word she can't take. So I am leaving. 8 years of bullying. Plain and simple.
@pegwiles5527 2 жыл бұрын
Sure feels like my fault when I fall for it over & over & over & over again ... ALL MY LIFE
@janetpattison8474 2 жыл бұрын
Exactly, just keep listening to all the great people on KZfaq and you'll feel better and better and better. This gal here, and dr. Ramani and doctor Carter and more. This talk is awesome!
@bereal6590 2 жыл бұрын
@@janetpattison8474 they're great I listen those as well dr. C. Is so kind, found myself wishing he had been my parent! Patrick Teahan is excellent as well
@pegwiles5527 2 жыл бұрын
@@janetpattison8474 Thanks so much for the encouragement! Does my heart good to hear kindness again😊
@pegwiles5527 2 жыл бұрын
@@bereal6590 Same msg I sent Janet: Thanks so much for the encouragement! Does my heart good to hear kindness again😊
@carolynjaynes9094 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing about intermittent reinforcement. I have no one in my life who is toxic anymore, thanks to all the videos I’ve watched.
@user-ey4rc5tu4t 2 жыл бұрын
This is why I am so glad for narc abuse channels; I don’t think I would have made it through probation without the validation of these videos to remind me what I’m dealing with, and how to take it less personally. They are actually trying to wreck your life for the sake of your being their toy. They don’t care how long or how hard you work. They don’t care if you arrive early or leave late. They don’t care about a professional appearance. They just need a tasty snack on your soul to give them the sugar rush that keeps them going. How can you take it personally when it’s all about them? Projection.
@bereal6590 2 жыл бұрын
My parents are superb at intermittent reinforcement. It feels in the end like your living in a jar with your head bouncing off the sides not being able to see what's right or wrong, how you actually feel or how to get out. It's insidious and confusing and crazy making whrn you grow up this way as the rules are always changing thgoal posts never stay in place and my personal view is they do it to ensure the narrative they want. We are just pawns in the games being moved around but we don't know it. There is no pattern, there is no logic. The rule of thumb is they're protecting themselves and their egos in THAT MOMENT hence it's how they're feeling and nothing to do with anybody else. They don't care how you feel
@superchuck3259 2 жыл бұрын
"I'm so sorry for your loss" Words that make me laugh, cause like what you explained, they really don't care.
@bereal6590 2 жыл бұрын
@@superchuck3259 hi just seen your reply today. Thank you so very much. I'm going through the worst ever time in my life and still they're the same. It's how my foggy glasses came of! That's how I realised the facade and at 56 how I've wasted my life following their rules and regs and hoop jumping. It's the worst time I could have realised but had it not been for what I'm going through I still wouldn't have known. Google is my friend lol! Found many helpful channels thank goodness. I'm very ill so I cannot escape but it's how it showed up. I didn't know before what I didn't know. Thank you again for your kind reply, stay safe and take care of you ✌✋👋
@janetquinn5809 9 ай бұрын
Telling them they are being mean and cruel, still goes completely unacknowledged.They dont care..
@MaryOKC 2 жыл бұрын
LOL! 😆 this is spot on…the sad part is narcissists break hearts.
@asifmuniruniverse7732 2 жыл бұрын
Why you can't see reality here need to reference I given there ?
@MaryOKC 2 жыл бұрын
@@asifmuniruniverse7732 I appreciate your attempt at replying to my comment but I do not understand what you are trying to say.
@Eyefartconfetti 2 жыл бұрын
I waited for him to drink himself to blackout mode and then had him confess the abuse he put me through and got him to give his opinion on his boss and coworkers. He was aware the camera was on and even put on a show. He had to leave the state after that and there's peace in my life now. I use these videos as educational tools as I am now speaking up about this invisible abuse. Thank you 💞
@janetpattison8474 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks! This is excellent info! . And omg. The info about intellectual bullying is so amazingly RIGHT-ON! It’s directed at me ALL the TIME! Narcs also love ghosting to let u know know you’re disposable. If u defend yourself Against the narcs anger, u are an evil one, & the narc is a victim. We’re supposed to ignore the narc’s bad behavior forever, as if they were born w/ this disability. It’s more and more obvious that no contact is the only way to deal with narcs. As unconscious as they are, they are experts at finding one method of attack after another. The The Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde pattern of behavior is never ending.
@biba350 2 жыл бұрын
His mind games mixed messages has broken me down still together
@BLGFlapJack 2 жыл бұрын
I'm sad I didn't see this 9 years ago. Stayed with a narcissist for far too long. I feel so much better knowing this. He uses all of these 😭. I appreciate this for my future relationships!
@iainowsiany7424 2 жыл бұрын
I felt overwhelmed by information back in college often times. The teachers would just ramble on then I’d have to make sense of it later. What bothered me was how unnecessarily complex they made things appear. The good teachers inbetween never did this. It makes me wonder what we really learn in school, or rather, what we become as a result
@TonaldDrump686 2 жыл бұрын
College has proven to be excessive amount of this. “For profit” bullshit that had little value in the real world.
@APlus-qx7no 2 жыл бұрын
A nice, succinct overview of the narcissists' playbook. Thanks, Christina.
@annmowatt7547 2 жыл бұрын
Brilliant video. Thanks for warning us in general. I have only recently encountered a narcissist and it is a horrendous, scary experience. I wish I had seen this beforehand.
@ChocolateDrop777 2 жыл бұрын
Word od Advice: Be leary of anyone in your life, thats preoccupied with an high adrenaline to see you broken and unhappy. That person is an arch enemy. Be ware!
@ecocentrichomestead6783 2 жыл бұрын
Unfortunately, watching these videos, I realize that the current economic system is built for narcissist success.
@bereal6590 2 жыл бұрын
Truth, thats why the world is a mess
@shawnforce2462 2 жыл бұрын
Holy crap my life is intermittent reinforcement and has been for past 3-4 years Gross! Working on getting out so in survival mode right now but AT LEAST I recognize the almost invisible abuse
@bethanienaylor 2 жыл бұрын
Gray rock it if you can!
@Layarion 2 жыл бұрын
3:00 this just sounds like someone who's got someone on the side and you need to ditch her. They start acting nice again when something better isn't along.
@intuitiveartist5109 2 жыл бұрын
I’ve experienced decades of being bated into a negative response, mostly so they can claim the victim role. I put an end to this for good! Gone no contact!
@bethanienaylor 2 жыл бұрын
Amen!
@michellefleetwood2642 2 жыл бұрын
It was such a damaging experience for me it still creeps up at time and I have to talk myself off the ledge..lol
@nikkispradlin5955 2 жыл бұрын
I'm going through this right now unfortunately with my sons dad he knows it's hard for me to leave bc our son is autistic and I stay home to take care of him what a heartless person i.m.o!!
@Spaz667 2 жыл бұрын
My dad 😞 💯 BUT my dad got this way FROM being abused himself by his father! it’s a vicious cycle that seems to never end. It’s exhausting. 🥺 I am crying even typing this… ☹️
@amishgirl1000 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you. It is helping me to understand so much about why certain things happened to me.
@brianfalls2988 2 жыл бұрын
NPD is demonic influence. It's a spiritual attack , hiding behind the term narcissism. Generational curse...they are channel's for evil spirits to attack you , and distract you , and knock you off the path God has for you. Look up the jezebel spirit , and Delilah spirit , and leviathan.
@cherryedwards3 2 жыл бұрын
If you gotta work hard to be with someone then just move on...don’t fall into the manipulation... it’s not worth it. Your better off alone. Human beings are exasperating!
@someinternetdude4159 2 жыл бұрын
I don't agree that people are always better off alone. My grandmother had skin as thick as steel and was a master handler. She was very happy with my grandfather who was a manipulator. But she knew, like a clever fox, how to steer that energy and they were super successful and happy together. So, I think it is more a matter of finding the person you are happy with and that you know how to deal with and whatever their flaws are, that those flaws are easy for you to deal with or they don't bother you. Anyway, sure there are plenty of relationships that are better off broken, but I'm not ready to condemn everyone to a life of solitude. You just got to find what you are compatible with and probably not have unrealistic expectation of the 'perfect' partner and 'perfect' relationship. My grandmother just let my grandfather be who he was when it was needed and it rolled off her like water off a duck's feathers. But she was the master of the credit cards and the house and she always had his back. He thought he was the master of the family, but he certainly was the master of his field and as the core of a business. She was an absolutely awesome front person for the business. A very good formula for business success with decades of happy customers. The end result was a super successful marriage, and 15 properties acquired and trips and vacations around the world and kids in private schools, some of whom went on to be even wealthier. So, maybe learn to deal with people instead of avoiding them; most people can be put to good use and be very happy.
@katiecoollady 2 жыл бұрын
Love your hairstyle and makeup today!
@CommonEgo 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you 🙂 ❤
@Bee-tj4lc 2 жыл бұрын
The video went to my save list. It was awesome. In the shortest video possible a lot of information was delivered to the audience. Thank you very much.
@BRAVE_NEW_1984 2 жыл бұрын
very enlightening. makes me doubt most of my interactions and other people's motives :(
@monicaruiz9829 2 жыл бұрын
Omg I just realized this my parents always question me about what I do, like if they don’t trust my own decision making me grow up with self doubts, I don’t feel accepted bc since I’m not like my sisters I feel like they can’t accept me for who I am. And the same happened with my ex narc the gaslighting made me so insecure doubt myself… I have so much work to do now I see how the relationship with my parents affected me with my Romantic relationships, maybe it’s why I attract narcissists 😫😞
@someguy9519 2 жыл бұрын
If your happiness depends on someone else...it's a blood in the water kind of thing, the neediness, manipulators will sniff you out immediately...after all they've been doing it for years.
@someguy9519 2 жыл бұрын
I'm a crap magnet...3 in a row. I'm old now and haven't wanted a relationship for 20 years. I'm happier now than I've ever been in my life.
@someguy9519 2 жыл бұрын
0
@bereal6590 2 жыл бұрын
Same here, it's not YOU
@THE_CDN 2 жыл бұрын
I had a so-called friend like this and he did all of those things. The word salad trick never worked on me because my language skills are better than his. This frustrated him to no end. Lol! Sadly, many of my bosses ticked all of the boxes and ruined my workplace; everyone was on tenterhooks. Interesting point about the mirroring in the womb. I never knew that. Cool!
@lisamarie5918 2 жыл бұрын
My sister in law does this word salad, and I never understood why until now. Can you please tell me how you were able to frustrate him? I need to learn how to do this, so I can protect myself when she does it, thank you!
@THE_CDN 2 жыл бұрын
@@lisamarie5918 Hi Lisa! I just use basic grammar. I interrupt when the grammar is incorrect or the statement is unclear / just not right. I challenge the person on every statement. After two or three times, they give up because they know they've been defeated. Make her clarify every statement. Don't let her move on to something else until she makes herself clear. She's trying to "move the goal posts". This is a common tactic used by bullies. Don't let her move on; make her clarify every statement she makes. Point out every single grammatical and word choice error she make as soon as it happens. Most importantly, point out every error in her "logic" as soon as it happens. Be relentless and she will give up. I have the advantage of having earned an Honours degree in English, but anyone can point out small mistakes in speaking and trip up bullies. They hate that; it disrupts their rhythm of bullying. Pointing out their errors in logic is even worse; they hate being exposed as less smart than they are. I really hope this helps, Lisa. If you need more help, let me know. Oh, and make sure she stays on point in the argument. Stay focused on one point, defeat her and then move on to the next point if you want to continue talking to her. Cheers!
@cornfedlife 2 жыл бұрын
Thanks for the video. It is always good to be straight forward and tell people like it is. I think both my husband and I have narcissistic tendencies. Luckily we don't let each other get away with it. God knew what he was doing when he got us together. 😀
@MyChihuahua 2 жыл бұрын
Lol. My narc that never made it to even boyfriend status just sent me gift out of nowhere after no contact since he TEXTED me out of nowhere on 'Valentines day' when I had even fell and had to go to the hospital between texts! No worries I am fully aware. Hilarious. 😆
@sabrinaluck4063 2 жыл бұрын
GOD Bless!🙏🙏🙏
@kimhumiston2686 7 ай бұрын
After growing up with a narcissist parent, a narcissistic sister, and a narcissistic boss, I am now not tolerating any more narcs. I have watched many, many utube videos on narcissism and I can tell you knowledge is POWER!
@kshejohnson6649 2 жыл бұрын
2 big things that's happend n my year of marriage to this narc. My daughter gave a baby up. My mom has a brain tumor. Literally the worst things in my life. My narc husband has never once asked me anything about either. No r u OK, r they ok, do u need anything, want a hug, whats going on. Nothing. Bc he could care less.
@markcrossley1979 2 жыл бұрын
This is definitely one of your best videos to-date.
@kshejohnson6649 2 жыл бұрын
This makes so much sense. I just said I'm like a puppy. I get weeks of silent treatment or rage but when he has a good day and is nice to me I come running bc I just want to feel the love I give and have a normal marriage
@hansbass5028 2 жыл бұрын
Possibly the best most concisive video on the subject ive yet seen,and ive seen a huge number.Excellent presentation!
@AlexPostScript Жыл бұрын
when i heard what the mirroring part was about, i went 'oh no' because my bio mom does this ALL the time, except when it's something she doesn't like and she tries to shame me out of it, so she can have complete control over my interests and integrate me fully into her life, glad that she discarded me somewhat because oh man now that i KNOW? i'm not letting her use that against me ever again
@parusudi1 2 жыл бұрын
I get it now!!! I married my narc because 20 years ago these videos didn't exist!!! I need a video on HOW TO GET OUT ALIVE please!!! 🙏🙏🙏
@DahrienD 2 жыл бұрын
Your videos are so eye opening and helpful!
@xse-qb2vv 2 жыл бұрын
Excellent upload. 😊
@michaeldillon3113 2 жыл бұрын
Where do narcissists learn this stuff ? I have met a few in my life and often they aren't academically achievers but they seem to have this understanding of how to manipulate people . The fact that these traits are pretty universal - does that mean that this is a genetic trait .
@superchuck3259 2 жыл бұрын
Spies have training programs that teach this stuff.
@marvinfrederick9556 2 жыл бұрын
It's fu..... Demonic lol
@mirisparkleslikewhoa 2 жыл бұрын
And I'm sure from childhood. Likely learning from their environment.
@june.w.1288 2 жыл бұрын
Maybe narcissism runs in the family. They probably have a parent or grandparent or other relative from whom they learn these things.
@pxjxgx 2 жыл бұрын
This video is SO important!!
@LosAngeles_213 2 жыл бұрын
Excellent tutorial and a deep understanding how narcissism tactics are used to manipulate. I can relate with past experiences and now have a guideline on which red flags to look for. Thanks 😊
@matthewmoriarty8985 Жыл бұрын
great video, those mind game abusers are going down in part thanks to articulate transparency of content like this
@martina.6513 Жыл бұрын
fantastically insightful- I am amazed at how I’ve experienced almost all of these, and although I knew at the time something was off, I had no idea these were tactics - evil, predatory and callous ones! Thank you Christina!
@rolandberendonck3900 2 жыл бұрын
This was the first explanation in a very long time (many years) when I finally understood what exactly mirroring is. Well done! Thank you :)
@stickyicky6418 2 жыл бұрын
You said something that clicked with me about a job I had once. I used to assist in heart surgery and I kept butting heads with a surgeon. He would pit surgical assistants against each other while operating and tried to intimidate me during surgery. I ended up sending him to HR and he was angry. I was pregnant and burnt out with covid coming so I used the opportunity to transfer to another dept. Dude is highly intelligent and in a position of power but he is deranged and an actual liability. He thrived on emotional chaos in the OR.
@velvetpixiecake5310 2 жыл бұрын
You have to be somewhat twisted to be a surgeon to begin with 🙄 They're calloused.
@severly4160 2 жыл бұрын
Good stuff!!
@Nana-vx6mt 2 жыл бұрын
Very good information covered several areas I never thought but recognize it from my past and present.
@DSPIC444 4 ай бұрын
Yeesh! Lack of self-awareness is an unsettling thought.
@ThePossumone 2 жыл бұрын
There is beauty and peace in living alone you
@sagasfacts8307 2 жыл бұрын
Great video!
@DragRNfly 2 жыл бұрын
Everything you are describing is exactly what my brother-in-law has done to my entire family from the first week she met him and still using every single one of these tactics 7yrs later. The funny thing is he wouldn't be aware while watching this this video of just how eerily accurate it is on describing his entire personality and character flaws. He is an awful human being and immature man who is stuck in his controlling and manipulative behavior causing the destruction of many people's lives.
@jillferrier8715 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for the validation 🌷
@cherylthompson2731 2 жыл бұрын
So informative. Thank you.
@-sp00ky- 2 жыл бұрын
I lived with 2 narcs in my adoptive family for the first 22 years of my life and didn't realise it until a close friend started showing me videos like this, because he was worried, after witnessing their behaviour. It was hard because going home always felt like a death sentence, and at the time I couldn't explain why. Looking back on those times now is like seeing a puzzle that's nearly complete - I have all the pieces, just need to find how the last few fit. I've also realised how living with a narc affected the way I interact with everyone around me. I've ended up pushing so many people away because I was scared of being hurt, and didn't want the few close friends I have left to be hurt by others. I've also left friendships because I didn't feel good enough for them. I don't even feel good enough for my in-laws yet, even though they're the most kind and loving people I've ever met. Thank you so much for sharing all these videos, they've bee such a big help ❤️ Lucky I managed to leave that family after our last phone call ended in an argument over something petty. It was really upsetting though, because they forgot to hang up and I overheard the way they talk amongst themselves about myself and other people. They really don't care about anyone. So I took that moment to cut them off cold turkey - for the 3rd time. The first two times they kept trying to contact me, and I've had to block their number. Now I haven't really heard from them since last September, besides Christmas. They contacted my partner, telling him that if I didn't come to see them, I "won't get any presents". I'm 35 and they still treat me like a child, btw 😂
@lindakattan748 2 жыл бұрын
This explains so much about what I experienced with the ex and my both of my parents.
@radicalhonesty3628 2 жыл бұрын
Trying to process all that arises in me as I watch this video... I've fallen in love with a man. I don't know what his feelings are for me? But he clearly doesn't love me: like I love him... And that leaves me full of shame. I'm 42 and have never been in a relationship... I have no friends. No career. No money. No love. No nothing. And I'm old now. I'm a complete utter total failure. And I die in the shame and grief and rage of it all...
@zonzoqswiss4746 2 жыл бұрын
Mom's advice was to be aware in life that people you like and love may not feel the same about you. You are not flawed. The other person has many reasons why they aren't emotionally available to you. Can you take 5 guesses as to what their issues might be? You sound depressed. Look online or in KZfaq for information on Depression. You are being very critical of yourself. Don't believe everything that you think. People with depression have a Not Fun House distorted mirror on life. Learning about depression and getting counseling can give you a better mirror view. You made it to old age. To have done that, you must have done a lot of things right to make it to this century.
@Fennerfunnyfarm 3 ай бұрын
You're too old! Life is too short to be unhappy,I learned this from a dying friend who was 29! I'm trapped right now but I will get out, just turned 55yrs old, no job, pile of debt cause he's now withholding money. But I refuse to give in. I'm learning to place the real blame where it should lie. I tried for years to figure it out, do better, give in, forgive, etc, it just made a bigger monster out of him! I was single at 40 and loved every minute of it, so sad that I gave that up to love in this life sucking hell! Regardless of how hard it will be, I will get out and I will thrive again, if for no other reason than to show him he didn't break me! Please hang in there and watch more info so you can learn more and find strength in community! It's helped me so much! I was so mindfucked before I started seeing answers and I'm so relieved to realize it isn't me! He uses my past relationship failures to belittle me. He literally states, "he's done nothing wrong, I make it all up" but I have recordings and screenshots of his hookup sites profiles, messages and our violent interactions. I started recording things cause I began to question my own sanity. I started to fight back and get overly emotional so now I'm crazy and "off the deep end, again" if I express any dislike of his behavior. It only gets worse, I sure hope you can get out and never look back! Don't let him totally destroy you, seek help to take care of yourself! There's no shame in being abused! That's in him! People who love you invest in your well being, they don't drag you down, they build you up! Wishing you true happiness and peace!
@show_me_your_kitties 2 жыл бұрын
Thank God I'm a little older and a little wiser and I can spot these people quickly! Thank you life experience 🙏🏼
@jenn5639 7 ай бұрын
Helpful info.
@user-je6pn9pr3h 9 ай бұрын
Your one of the few people that talk about intellectual bullying. Multiple debts where I work do this. Unfortunately I was in 3 of them. So incredibly sad and such a stressful place to work.
@ellycat5704 2 жыл бұрын
Very, very interesting, Thank you !
@adriennetynes4064 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you soo much💖
@moniquetorres2910 2 жыл бұрын
True My Husband Is doing the same thing Thànk You For Sharing This Video With US ALL ❤️
@FirstLast-uy3di 2 жыл бұрын
Xcellent profile TY❣❣
@magosaldana5064 2 жыл бұрын
You Are Very Awesome Thank You 🙏
@BenTrue75 2 жыл бұрын
Good insightful information
@margaretahogberg6869 2 жыл бұрын
It's so true everything you are telling me about, I feel so bad right now
@michaelkay2824 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you ,blessing to you and your angels always watch over you, amen
@ethelrood 2 жыл бұрын
So on point! Sad but true.
@debraannedimezza8075 Жыл бұрын
Unfortunately, my temper got the best of me, and I would fight back and become worse. I was so sick and tired of defending myself giving this man everything only to be criticized and dehumanized daily.
@clintonnagy1662 Ай бұрын
OMG !!! Me too !! I would lash out at her and regret it later it. She would use it against me and I couldn't deny her complaint. Even tho I was baited in the moment, I still carry guilt for it. Next time I'll have more class, and walk away. One moment comes to mind when we went to a concert and she kept telling me I was embarrassing her over and over...I was simply bobbing my head to the music. I said some nasty words, walked out and drove myself home. Little did I know she turned down another date for that show and she was stuck with me, so she ridiculed me for it most the night. So hurtful.
@joeharmon3301 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you!
@juliedalton4331 2 жыл бұрын
Spot on
@sjnardozzijr.7850 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for your insight into NPP…
Common Ego
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Common Ego
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