➡ DOWNLOAD THE NARCISSISTIC ABUSE CHECKLIST HERE: www.commonego.com/checklist

It's sad but true: if someone does something hurtful over and over even when you sat it's hurtful, they're someone who at best is indifferent towards you. At worst, they may actually enjoy being hurtful.

You cannot be yourself around them and you're probably codependent like myself, (working on it) just like when you couldn't be yourself when you were a child

Yessss preach! The subtle abuse is terrible and cumulative and particularly malicious because it’s very hard to explain to other people. My ex was a vulnerable neglectful narcissist and the abuse damn near killed my soul

1. Constant critizism 2. Having the feeling that the other person has always one foot out of the door (no attachment, no connection) 3. Shutting you down / Stonewalling 4. Hurting your feelings like saying, "That's just like I feel!" 5. Blame shifting (One form of gaslighting) 6. Covert Isolation 7. Belittling you infront of others Be aware: A healthy relationship should lift you up to a better version of yourself and not the other way around!!! I myself made the experience that the constant critizism can also be very subtle. For example I heard over and over again, "I do not understand why you are doing it like this." When you hear this, you do not recognize this immediatly as some kind of a tactic but when you hear this over and over again you will doubt yourself.

Mine said to the marriage counselor, "Divorce is not an option so I guess I'm stuck with her ". I was sitting next to him!

My narc didn’t like me saying I don’t like the roughness against me during intimacy he said he was turned off now and didn’t care to be intimate with me anymore. That was one of the many wake up calls.

When you said they have left and come back so many times there’s no way you would feel comfortable in the relationship. So true. I’ve always seen it in my ex, that he was just not emotionally connected but it made me feel bad for him and want to love on him more. Eww, I was wrong! They know what they’re doing. They know what they are - they just do not care. They are incapable of emotional connection so they can’t care. My ex repeatedly said I was too soft, too sensitive, too emotional, etc. And for years I thought it was me. It wasn’t. Nothing I did was ever appreciated or enough. To all the big hearted soft girls out there - you can’t fix them. You can’t love them enough to change them. Run! Leave and don’t look back - then go make a beautiful life for yourself because the narc will destroy you so subtly and slowly over time.

Yup, I can spot covert narcissistic men even on a dating app. BEFORE it leads to a date. You just have to pay attention to the questions they ask. They'll NEVER give a compliment and every question is about where you rank in social status NOT about your personality or interests.

My mother was a narc and I was annointed the scapegoat. Last Sunday was mother's day. This year I felt triggered. I harbour strong feelings of resentment towards her memory. All this sentimental well wishing for mother's made me feel isolated. Anybody recognise this?

No, the narc doesn't get us to doubt ourselves. We know the narc is criticizing us to provoke a negative reaction out of us. It doesn't make us doubt ourselves. It causes the negative impossible wish of making us want to ask the nark to change. It makes us feel desperate for the narc to take accountability that he will never take. It holds us in the cycle of being desperate for change, accountability and apologies When we could never get any of these things. It doesn't give us self-doubt. It makes us incredibly provoked and frustrated to the point of asking and begging for things we can never get from the nark.

I wish that these videos had been available 20 years ago -and that I had known that I *needed* to watch them. ☺ Here's one more for the list 8. Mocking your work -to you -in private.

Wow what you are describing sounds like the treatment that I received from 3 of the narcissists in my life. I’m actually down to 1 narcissists right now and I’m at least grateful for that. It would be great to have nada 👍👍

My ex friend (covert narcissist) would listen to my idea. Criticize it. Then tell someone else about it. The 3rd person like my idea but my ex friend took all the credit. Here is another scenario. I say an idea. She criticizes the idea. Then we spend time talking with a group. Someone in the group says my exact idea, then my ex friend thinks it is the best idea ever. Thank you for your channel. I’m always learning.

I actually said to the nex ‘death by a thousand cuts’ right before I went NC -almost 2 years now and thankful for every peaceful and narc free day that I have

My life until about 10 years ago :) Now I see it and put my palm in their face when they start talking like this. No. It's a good time in my life. :) "Mine" remembers fondly times in another location when they were in control and doing this. Where we are now, and the last several years, they aren't the dominant. I don't need to be "dominant", just doing whatever we need or want (a job, a volunteer opportunity, friend weekend trip) and that was shut down years past and shame ugh. Not no more. Get to your 50s, learn about your self esteem and question past events, triggers, and it can be so fulfilling and awesome :) The narcissist has been eating your soul, but it can stop :)

Passive aggressive covert narcissism, or the traits thereof. They are masters with the hidden blade. What they say is not outrageous, or rude, but it's has a barbed blade buried within it, almost every time. They know what they're doing and so do you, but an outside observer might not notice. They like to pull the rug from under your feet. They really love doing this. Wait util you've finished explaining something and then just not respond, at all. Or roll the eyes and sigh. Or just flat out contradict you. But most likely is the "attack of the underwhelming response". Your enthusiasm, life, and energy is slapped down, over and over and over again. It's abuse. Abuse is subjective. Abuse is not "bad enough to make me think, "wow, that's awful.". Abuse is whatever makes you feel like you're less than you are, are stupid or weak or foolish, for merely being yourself. Sooner or later you have to draw a line and say, "cross this and we're done". And they will look you in the eye and walk straight over that line. That's when you have to be strong. What drew my attention initially was the realisation that I was becoming ill, and was waking up in the middle of the night with an overwhelming urge to get away from the bed I was sleeping in. So I'd get up and then go back to sleep elsewhere. Eventually this caused a comment and out it all tumbled - I don't want to be in this bed anymore. Or this house. Or this relationship. It's just a 24/7 shitshow of passive aggressive putdowns, demands and criticisms. Eventually I started sleeping in a different room, where I've been for the last 3 months. She's tried attacking me, bullying me, ridiculing me and threatening me. I'm not budging. "Address your emotional issues or I'm out of here" was the ultimatum I gave her. She can't even admit there's anything to change, yet alone actually change any of it. And so, finally, it comes down to - my self respect will not survive staying here. She won't change or even give so much as a single shit that I feel this way, so I have no choice but to walk away. Or put to death every need I have as a human being, because not one of them is ever going to be even acknowledged, yet alone met, and I've been here for 30 years waiting/hoping/pleading. Enough. She was warned - if I get to the point where I say, "enough", it's already too late. That was treated with contempt, same as everything else I ever said to her Why 30 years? Children.

Yes I did not even think about as abuse I really didn’t

Those thousand paper cuts add up, your partner is to up lift you and be there for you, it's the mental abuse what hurts the worst,👍 Christina thanks for the video 🦋🙏

In regard to #6, I once had a roommate who was a socially enthusiastic person in general, but who would make unusually sour expressions and become suddenly brooding and disapproving, or even vaguely traumatized, when I mentioned any of my friends that weren't "equally" her friends. There were some people who I ended up essentially cutting out of my life because of the intensity of her reactions and the fact that I wanted to respect her boundaries as someone I was sharing a home with. Others I invited over once or twice but was shocked and embarrassed by her rudeness and unaccountable coldness toward them. Times when I tried to ask her about it, she played it off as being due to her "highly sensitive" nature, saying she'd sensed something off and felt uneasy around them. I didn't know how to tell people why I wouldn't invite them over and sometimes I was nervous to hang out with friends even outside my home because if I slipped up and mentioned it to my roommate she would switch into a dark mood that was very difficult to live with. I think covert isolation tactics are in some ways as serious as the overt ones, especially when we are young, in the habit of giving benefit of the doubt, and the covert abuser frames their disapproval as a kind of victimhood that requires our empathy. When it's a situation though where the kind of empathy they want looks more like compliance and they're triggered by the presence of any person that is not equally or primarily perceived as "theirs", it may be that they're weilding their victimhood as a means to isolate us and maintain control.

My old church was like this.

I just discovered your channel, thank you for your content. There are a lot of channels about this subject, but you bring a hopefulness and lightness - and I also really appreciate the way you help guide us to focus on ourselves and not get too stuck in the rabbit hole of fixating on those who have hurt us.

I used to describe it as jabs with a small pocket knife.......twisted for effect, and cumulative. Passive aggression was huge. My Ex is BPD so displays as covert Narcissistic. Towards the end, it became clear that I was being minimalized. I broke it off before she could. But she was well on her way to doing the same thing. So who really Discarded who?

Classic: I told him that he hurt my feelings. (My grandma died and he told me "you see? you could have spent more time with her") What he replied when I told him, that he hurt me? He said: "Im sorry you feel that way"

Did you notice that victims can pick up bad habits from being with a narc

Mine was leaving every day.

Their trying to destroy another human being it sick. It’s a game they play if they leave they will come back

Great distinction - learned behavior vs a personality disorder

My x narc was of the school where he would intentionally make me crazy so I would leave. That way he didn’t have any accountability in ending the relationship. Then suck me back in and repeat the process. The look on his face when I finally left for good was priceless.

His passive aggressive jabs were always followed with a sweet and sincere sounding..."but it's not your fault". So, point out a perceived flaw, then try to make me feel better about knocking me down. Here's a great example: Can you come over tonight? Me: No, I have to work as I have a bill due TOMORROW. Ugh. Him: I really want an "in person" relationship you know. And I know you ONLY take care of yourself...... But that's not your fault! So, I end up feeling guilty for being responsible and taking care of a bill I owe, verses going to see him. This was just ONE example. It was so covertly abusive, I can't even begin to find the words here. When I'd have nothing but text to communicate, cause I was working, he'd say something passive aggressive, and when I responded "what?!" he'd say "it's text baby! And it's your PREFERRED method of communication, not mine." Well, it wasn't my "preferred" method, but he programmed me to feel like it was, and that I just took everything wrong because it was text. And he would follow it with how he preferred a phone call or in person relationship, and a sweet "but it's not your fault". So I just stopped communicating while I was working. And then I got accused of cheating because he didn't hear from me. This is some sick psychological shit!!! 😱

I found myself often saying “can I at least finish the sentence before you say I’m wrong?”.

Congratulations on your exceptional insight. Thank you for all your amazing content.

Excellent video.

Love your hair like that Christina! Great video as always. ❤

"Death by a thousand paper cuts", is the perfect description of being married to a covert/passive aggressive narcissist. Their devaluation and passive aggressive manipulation is so subtle and intermittent you can go decades without realizing the true extent of the damage being done to your psyche, your sense of self. But, once you see it for what it is, you can't unsee it. And, at that point the marriage should be over (speaking from experience of course). Just had another thought, if someone reading this after watching your video feels like they are in a relationship with someone that doesn't seem to really respect or trust them, trust that instinct. I have felt that on a deeper level for quite some time, but I never really acknowledged that to myself. Afterall, we're married, how can she not trust or really respect me? She says she does, but looking at her actions it is clear she doesn't. Again, trust that gut feeling you get when actions don't match the words.

I've been dealing with a lot of PTSD from my childhood and as an adult I finally cut every single person out of my life to work on myself. I feel like an elderly person but the neglect I have faced is too much at this point. My mom is codependent and my dad could care less. I told my own mother I couldn't go to a job all because I messed up my phone I had to leave to fix my phone I needed it for safety reasons. Her response was, "It's your fault." One time I was in the mental hospital and was neglected in there and they gave me a bus pass and told me I was on my own I was walking down the street like a zombie, some guy asked me if I needed help and let me use his phone I called my father and he picked me up and I tried talking to him his response was like oh god I can't be bothered by this and he said, "I need to go back to work." Couldn't even be bothered and that was the end of it. I was also the one reaching out to him all the time and when we would talk he would always have to pencil me in because he was "so busy" we would meet for about one hour every once in a while. I'm just done at this point I don't want any family members in my life if I tell them anything they end up ignoring me. God forbid I don't want to see my cousins family pics constantly on Facebook was so annoying.

Thank you sooooooo much for making these videos. You're completely on point, this is so validating.

Thanks christina- you're Good! Really helpful and relevant content

I'm there now, and I'm noticing the baiting, that leads to arguments. Last night I had a cough, didn't say excuse me, and what followed was 20minutes of abuse towards me.

When you are telling he doesn't listen after a few words. But when you say something about his family he Al ears ..and if you say something that's is hurtful he tell them what you saying. So you're relationship off them is destroyed. He love this. Don't say nothing about his family friends. There is no connection with you. No secrets. He tells everything. Behind you're back and in you're face. He doesn't love you. He loves the power..so he is boss.

Hello Christina something i miss in the abuse that coverts do, is when you say something nothing special, like the wind is blowing hard, he say the wind is not so hard. Everything you say , he say the opposite . You are always wrong, when you make statement , he knows always better. You are always wrong. He make a fool off you when others are there. I pick a flower at the community garden, people walk to us and the covert say if i was his little kid, you are not allowed to pick flowers. They think that they are youre parent and teacher and not his wife. To control you. Thanks for youre video's ❤❤❤❤

I always remember The Almighty God said; “Vengeance is mine I shall repay.” I forgive and pray for him to increase my faith.

Is the intermittent reinforcement done consciously? And the manipulation?

12:42 The whole purposely humiliating you in public is something I’ve been experiencing lately with a “friend” actually. She even tried to get my man to break up with me, and told him behind my back that she didn’t know how he could even be with me. Needless to say, I’ve ended the friendship.

Ohh you are so important to me! I don't call you, text you or pay attention to you, but it 's just the way i am and you can't stand it. But you are important though... .

I stumbled across your videos accidentally, and I have been unable to stop watching. I knew my (once again ex) girlfriend was abusive, but she actually had me somewhat convinced 😢 that i was the narcissist. I only occasionally questioned her logic, and hardly ever did it cross my mind that ahe might actually be the narcissist. But so much of what you say resonates in ways that are cutting my heart wide open. She is currently in another state with another man in a hotel. It was her birthday two days ago, and after blowing up at me last weekend because someone told me that she had met clandestinely with a guy that she, my other friend who told me, was seeing. I immediately defended my (ex) girlfriend, and asked her why this guy would be saying that. She (my ex) immediately got angry with me, started yelling at me, as she does anytime something like this comes up...and then ghosted on me for the entire weekend. When I did see her again, after several days, everything was fine again (for her) we spent the night together, and it came out the following morning that she was going to California and spending her birthday with an 'old friend'(another man) in a hotel. I wasn't invited of course, and her reason was that I wasn't talking to her all weekend, and I therefore didn't want to ruin her birthday again like i always do...so she made other plans. I was completely taken aback, and demanded that she cancel. I had made all sorts of plans for her birthday, and had tried talking to her about it several times for weeks. Unbelievably, she vanished again and left town for 'a couple of days ' (she took off Monday, birthday was Wednesday, it's now Friday) and insisted I should be supportive and make plans with her when she got back. We had other plans that obviously haven't happened. She's sent me three text messages all week, each time mean accusations and defemations. She hasn't called ir answered her phone once. She's cheated on me many times, since the beginning of our relationship. When we met she had a different boyfriend, and informed me of this fact when I started flirting with her. I was impressed that she was such a loyal girlfriend, and it elevated her in my mind. Several weeks later, when we started sleeping with one another she told me she had never cheated on anyone before, she just couldn't resist me. But ahe wasn't ready to lose her relationship, and wasn't going to tell him. Then you need to stop seeing me, I said. Well, she didn't stop getting with me and despite promising many times to tell him,never actually did. Eight months later, completely blinded by love, I finally told him. Anyone reading this is probably thinking well i got what i had coming, and they're right. But i was so enamoured, so infatuated, so in love with her by now, I was doing many things i knew to be wrong as if they weren't. Fast forward several years and i find out that as soon as he left and i became the boyfriend, she started cheating on me. Basically immediately, i don't think we had more than a couple days as a 'couple' before she started sharing other men's beds. People even told me she was, but I would defend her 'no, we've talked, she's honest, they're just friends'.... I've gone on far too long and barely begun to touch on the vast amounts of betrayal and abuse I've suffered with this woman i wanted to spend my life with. I know i should never see or talk to her again, so why do i miss her so much? Why do I just want her to come home and finally make the changes she's sorta half promised me a dozen times, that i know will never happen? How do i break the spell, because obviously she can do whatever she wants to me and i still take her back, as soon as she's ready to come back. Even now, I feel certain, if I'm honest with myself, that the only reason I'm still maintaining that she's my ex is because she's not back yet. I feel like a pathetic cuckold of a worm posing as a man, and know that she will never respect me or treat me right. I'm neither the codependent nor the jealous type, and I've NEVER let anyone walk all over me this way (more like the other way around, i was a scumbag back in highschool) Help! What do i do? I haven't slept or eaten in days.... Ps you're totally adorable, are you single? Haha, just kidding! 😂😅😊😮😢😢😢❤🎉😊😅😢😂 Sort of....ok bad joke. I love your videos though, it hurts to hear, but at least I have a name for it now. If you're ever in Vegas....haha, kidding. Jokey mr. Joke maker, that's me. Seriously though, I would be happy to show you around...omg stop it, I'm becoming like her now! Is narcissism contageous? (Still kidding)😂

So I was always the one who had one foot out the door. 3 trimes I tried with this man. Third time I finally got the love bombing. By then I knew what he was doing. I was always ready to leave just waiting for the demon side to come out of him. Well he started accusing me of things he was actually doing.... made it easy for me to walk. I was already halfway out. Now I get, I'll never find anyone as good as him. Okay. I'd rather be alone than with someone like him.

My husband would say( My friends think you’re hot.) I was always like what a weird thing to say to your wife. But, he was telling me he didn’t think, I was. Now I get it.

Anyone notice that it’s the victim that usually gets and needs help after experiencing any sort of relationship with a covert narcissist…while the narcissist just picks up and moves on continuing to avoid accountability by doing the exact things that just destroyed their last victim? The one thing I’ve learned after dealing with a narcissist…it’s not an exact science but if you want to learn about someone in a short amount of time…watch someone’s reaction when they don’t get what they want. It could be anything from a simple mistake someone made on a food order to something more serious like not getting a job promotion…no matter the situation it really tells alot about someone’s character. The key is to not let the person know you are even paying attention when it happens…narcissists are extremely manipulative and aware that they are in public so be aware of that. One day I’m in line at a deli in the morning and the guy in front of me was waiting for the clerk to turn around before putting a dollar in the tip jar…and it hit me! I said to myself…this guy only did that to feel better about himself Instead of doing it for the genuine appreciation of the service. Things like this that totally fly under the radar to most people are the things you automatically notice after dealing with manipulative people that live a lie…hope this helps 😉

Very true. She left me so many times that I got used to it and would just wait at home like a pet. I’m glad I’m finally breaking away

Being kept away from people can be them refusing to interact with your friends and family. Also, making things uncomfortable at home when guests are around. Also, shouting and being noisy when you’re on the phone. Yes! Definitely degrading you and humiliating you in front of others stops you from wanting to interact.

What if I just left instead of them?

THANK YOU VERY MACH PLEASE HOW IS IN POLISH

Wow ive definitely felt like this since last year around November. It started out an amazing relationship where it was actually my FIRST in many things. I started connecting with people more (even tho i was anxious) i felt accepted and loved. This is the time i started sharing my vulnerabilities and insecurities and soon after. Within weeks. Me bringing up my feelings became an issue. I remember when it shifted, few months back its started as me mentioning a time we went out and i felt bad because i thought to what i saw was flirting - made me uncomfortable, so i brought it up in a safe place, knowing i have talked about my feelings before and it wasnt a problem, we were able to have an open conversation and explain both sides. Fair share. But this time when i mentioned it, i was heard but right after, met with "this is making me feel not good enough" i stg i knew something was off as this perosn before has explained they understand my feleings because they USED to have the same one, and sometimes had feelings of jealousy or insecure in the relationship so i was taken back when i hear they feel that i dont love them, after me trying to explain that how i felt while we were out. I tried my best not to demonize what they did, as i knew i couldve been seeing things wrong or maybe they actually were just beign friendly. But this is when i felt as if the things i was going thru such as (self blame, negative self talk, anxiety while out, and ruminating about what ive done or couldve done) these things felt like they were starting to be mirrored bcak to me. While simultaneously slowly them cutting back on hanging out with me (because i was too negative or bad vibes), elimnating sex because "i always wanted it or i didnt deserve it after putting them thru stress, even tho it was really mine and i was fine with keeping my mouth shut about my problems. It was too late, as this perosn started saying things like "this relationship is one sided " "wheres the effort" "im so done and over your talking, i havent seen you change one bit) even tho hasnt seen me for a month and rarely talks to me. To only remind me of the things im not doing, or how i led us up to this point. Knowing theyre leaving out of town soon, i pushed for us to hang one day and this was the WRONG day to do so, because right after had another argument of how im too jealous, i dont do enough for them to hang out with me anyway, how i cant come with them because i wont have a good time or ill find a way for them to look like the "bad guy". So i started blaming myself for everything, genuinely thinking something is wrong with me and that I need to retreat to myself and figure out how to go from here, only to beet with "now its poor chris" "you just want people to feel sorry for you, no you out yourself here". I feel liek im tryign to figure out whats actually WRONG with me, because this person HAS gitten me to act out before and literally tell me to hit them, keep yelling/ doign things that would make the situation worse, telling me im weak, insults and yet says "i love you". Ive been confused because i felt like the narcissist for so long, because seriously I HAVE been thinking of myself, things such as " whats wrogn with me" "why did i do/say those thing) "maybe theyre right, they have all these friends, people on social media agreeign eith them, and even my own family things highly of them because id never speka down of them, and too afraid to say anything because i believe i was the only problem. Sure i thought it could be both of us, but that point never made it thru in arguments. Now idk who i sm or whst i truly stand for. I tend to wonder all the time now. Am i thinking of my self too much? Is this my karma for all the bad things ive done in life? If i change will those people who always reassure me that im not good enough, if i change, will those people get to me again? Actually, if i change, with those people (the covert narcissist) care? Or treat me any different now they see the change in me?. Then thats when i realize, thats the mental trap we get stuck in

This is nothing like the type of abuse my narcissistic (platonic) friend does to me. He never ever does something so obvious is CRITICIZE me. Instead he will say things to demean, humiliate & shame me. For example he'll put me in bed with other men verbally telling me I "banged" this one or that one & a few times he admitted to choosing that word purposely to demean me..(which opened my eyes to the intentional awareness he had of being toxic / abusive). He endlessly will make sexual innuendos putting himself in sexual situations with me that are disgusting to me (which I asked him to stop doing over a year ago). And although he promised to stop & gave me many faux apologies, pretending I was being too sensitive, too fragile, too prudish & too hypercritical + also blaming it on "other men" who "must have rap.ed/molested or hurt me in the past".. he still continued to provoke a vicious reaction out of me in this way. Somewhat subtly, yet also SO overt.. while he pretends he did nothing wrong & tells me I'm nuts as if he cannot understand where I'm coming from.

Of o ever expressed a vulnerability-the nex would say’ that is your personal problem’🤮🤮

My Mom told me when I was young… When you are accused of cheating and you weren’t cheating, the accuser is cheating .

He used to say horrible things about my body when he was preparing to take off AGAIN. Then, when he would start hovering and love bombing, he would say he only said those things because he wanted me to feel unattractive so I wouldn't have the confidence to find someone new.

Im so glad you were able to see through it and teach others. Because it took me awhile and way too long but I've learned :)

I'm trying to wrap my head around this. Now, do these types do this knowing and with a plan. Or is it just the way they are? 🤔

The one thing I don't agree with as I wish my covert narcissist son would leave

The “pulling the rug out from under you” is definitely true and they do it a lot. Covert narcs will often fly into a rage (as long as no one else can see or hear them). So don’t think that just because they’re covert, they won’t be raging in private… Examples, - I was confirming that he was right - I was talking to him about what he would like to do during the day while we were on vacation - I was trying to make arrangements for dinner - making a benign joke about a pan of mine Some of his excuses: - “well you moved your hand” (Im not kidding, he would randomly get angry if I moved my hands while talking, which comes naturally to anyone) - “well the other day you did this/ said this and you think that doesn’t have an effect on me now?” (As if he was just building up a tally of “wrongs” until exploding over nothing) - “You were thinking XYZ when you said that” (the mindreader manipulation) - “You feel XYZ about me” (trying to tell me what I feel when it’s absolutely false and then using that as an excuse for his rage)

"Hear this persons voice when they aren't even there" Holy F......... then when i have enough they get mad that i Talk in 3rd party about what they are going to say before they even say it. Then they made me feel bad about it calling me and making me feel like a narcissist

But if you've clearly communicated a boundary that you have in the relationship, say, cursing you for reasons unknown or no reason at all. if that need gets ignored, certainly it's ok to pack up and leave, certainly if it's meant as a remedy, not a punishment. If your ground rules get violated, leaving seems an acceptable remedy, right?

My Dad Used to Objectify Women on TV that Had Features Far Removed from My Mother's. He Was Physically @ Mom and My Bros But Not Me I was His Golden, and Mas Scape which He Created that Resentment Within Her Toward Me....its Very Messed Up to Have Your Ma So Jealous Of You She Would Punish Fiercely....

My ex was a covert narcissist. He would try to tell me that I needed to work out to get healthier but what he was really saying was that he was unattracted to me and he wanted me to be skinnier. I'm not even big. He would constantly send me memes with skinny girls in it, on purpose because he knew I was self conscious about my weight. 😢

I dated a person(Always keep them guessing) for three years and it was on and off. They were bouncing back and forth with their ex. So as soon as they used up the other person they would magicly reappear after 30 days of ghosting. lol

My Narc would call males, she and vice versa. When I would correct her. Which reminds me of the scripture “ they call good evil and bitter sweet.”

Ok so i have a confusing scenario. watching all these videos i suspect that my ex was a covert narcissist but i do recognize that i said i wasn't attracted to her on a few occasions. These would typically be when she asked what was wrong if i was struggling because i was getting stonewalled and i RARELY ever even got a smile out of her or a straight answer on anything and that did have a substantial impact on attraction. I apologized then sincerely and i feel bad about saying that to anyone even to this day and just wondering if anyone had any thoughts or had been through something similar. she also constantly revisited that fact that i had dared to say that even though i apologized multiple times

Cuts you off right at the end of your sentence and doesn't revisit it. My landlady does this all the time.

I'm afraid to tell on her. Idk why but I'm struggling with it to overcome the emotional abuse i endured. I'm gaslighting myself with thoughts of unworthiness and combating these negative thoughts with work and accomplishment of small goals that empower me. I feel like I am healing from the awareness your videos have afforded me. Thank you. How do I stop her from retaking control of the children? I was physically abused as well and i saw the cycle being repeated only my oldest son was the target and that was the day that I knew I needed to protect my children. I feel that they won't believe me.

Great content! Can be told as clearly and confidently as in your other videos. Here you speak too softly and too fast. Constant criticism in the form of pinpricks was normal in my family towards me as the scapegoat. And if you say something about it, the reaction is: you are too sensitive. As a child you don't have an answer to it, now I have learned to say 'you are too insensitive'. Very recognizable also that you are brought down at unexpected moments.

I could tell you things that would curl your hair. But since they love NO ONE, maybe your hair won’t curl.

But sometimes people are attracted to other people who are conventionally ugly, otherwise they would buy a pretty marble statue😂. Why people care about being "pretty" after 21 is beyond me. It's like a trap. Girls know exactly how pretty they are. Why are they so hellbent on being the prettiest?