reading this while watching examples 3, 4, and 5 was ironic

The fact u have to clarify this is just sad. Why are people so dumb and offendet by everything, holy shit. Imagine someone made a hiking guide or video or some shit. And everyone in the comments be like "OMG ARE U MOCKING PEOPLE IN WHEELCHAIRS? WHAT ABOUT THEM DUH?!". Exactly what happens here. Why cant they just stfu.

I’m neurodivergent and at no point did I feel like I was being targeted, you’re all good (:

I didn't see this as attacking autistic people, but I understand why autistic people and neurodivergent may not like the video. I think the problem is allistic people may not recognise autistic people (this is not rare and often the case, especially with lower-support-needs/ "high-functioning" autistics) and just assume that they are being rude for the exact reasons you mentioned (to be fair autistic people don't even realise they are autistic sometimes, I'm not blaming ppl for not being able to recognise neurodivergent people). Autistic people may have watched this and felt awful because it kind of reinforces the idea that people will not like them or respect them because they may communicate in a way that allistics consider rude. Again, not blaming you or anything or saying the video is bad! I'm just sharing my perspective.

I'm autistic and I didn't find this offensive lol. Allistic people do not need to defend us over silly stuff like this

ALL THAT I AM I GIVE TO YOU. AAAAAAHHH 🤩😍🤩😍🤩

i really respect you, your a great person to be around

So true! You always know what to say! Oh to have your wisdom, great Rose. 🌹

I have no idea who you are, but I would trust you with my life, you're so great.

Maybe you’re wrong. My dad follows these rules every single day, you may just have difficulty

Dude, I wish you could've seen me this morning read this comment & instantly burst out laughing 🤣🤣🤣

*gets sucker punched by said person*

Yeah bro... my parents...

xd

I thought you'd say "can you draw them farting"

and for introverts : depleted social energy

or autism. lol

ikr

​@@CHNO-cm1rd Facts

or ADHD

I be tryin bruh but IT’S HARD 😭

as an autistic mf, the struggle is real

😢

Damn you had to call me out like that 😭 🙏

LMFAOOOOO no seriously 😂 I was like "dammit but I'm the most interesting person to me, but I also have an obnoxious desire to talk about it all the time." This is why socializing is a skill and it takes practice to get better... and why I barely have any friends LOL

Thanks. I always search for the lists because it's more efficient.

thanks mate you saved me 5 minutes

Thanks!

Nailed it!

Liked your comment and disliied the video

I do this as well! I feel as though I’m showing we’re on the same page, and that I’m enthusiastic about coming to the same conclusion. I have had the thought about it coming off as rude though, but I’ve never managed to conclude if it is percieved as rude by the other party.

​@Micro. Same here, I think it depends on the person gard to know with strangers obviously, but with people you talk with frequently try to gauge their reaction when you do it some people I find actually like it and perceive it as active listening others are annoyed by it

Something you can do is kinda correlate your answer or the point you're adding to the conversation with what they said beforehand, makes it more natural and it clearly shows you heard and gave value to what they talked about

As long as you don't overdo it, it shouldn't be too bad. Like, when they struggle to find the word that sits at the tip of their tongue and you jump in to help them out, I don't think anyone would deem that rude. Also, if you're actually good at keeping track of the topic in that way, you can really impress them if they get interrupted by a third person or some event and you help them to pick off where they left off. I managed to do this a few times with different people--sometimes they were convinced I was only half listening to begin with--and saw them light up instantly.

I generally dont finish sentences unless they are struggling for the word. But I absolutely understand what you mean. My general tactic is to try to watch for a que that they want to be sure you got something, at which point I try to summarize or say the same thing in a different way in just a couple words to show that I am not just hearing, but understanding. Its also good practice for being concise.

So.... how's you?

thats how conversations work, so the game doesnt mean anything other than who can talk the longest.

Or both people actively avoiding talking about what they want to talk about while trying to figure out what the other wants to talk about and turns out they never realize that they BOTH just wanted to rant about how obtuse 100% of voters for the other political party are

This was the case with one friend of mine, she just kept asking questions about EVERYTHING, while responding "nice"/"not bad". Eventually, she starts to run out of questions and leaves, until smth happens.

At some point not talking about yourself when people are asking specifically about you is as bad as talking about yourself too much. Refusing to respect their questions

Yeah, me too. People really love me in the darkest timeline.

Do it for you, not for others

Tips for the road: You deserve respect none the less. You're enough already my man, don't let other people decide that. Everyone has a perfect core inside them and it's their mission to make it bloom the way it was made to. Accept your core self, and mold your outer self accordingly. Accept that it often takes work to get yourself out of bad habits and into healthy ones.

Also, the fact that you can see your own mistakes in this video tells me at least that you for sure don't deserve to hate yourself, sorry for the wall of text, this is probably something the guy in the video said I shouldn't do 😂

K

M

wait, that's not normal???

I'm with you, Awesomes007. Aspie here, struggling on a daily basis to connect with neurotypicals (and mostly being bashed for it).

yeah, a lot of these feel as if contribute to a heavy mask. feels a bit hopeless to thrive in these environments believing such.. :") I'll try to find a balance myself though

as if they*

Thats literally normal behavior.

😂

You have no enemies Thorfin

it triggers them extremly well

I am one of his enemies, it's true, these are tried and true methods

Superheroes: 😔

same. lol

Lmao good luck having a social life

@@yasininn76 what part of "Being Left Alone" don't you understand?

@@yasininn76lmao learn to read

@@yasininn76 Lol, I know a blind girl, if you're not using those eyes of yours, it'd change her life to have them!

Agreed. That is the only tip in the video I’d add a caveat (if someone literally doesn’t stop and you’re pushed for time - a positive interruption is needed)

@@NewelOfKnowledge "Agreed. That is the only tip in the video I’d add a caveat (if someone literally doesn’t stop and you’re pushed for time - a positive interruption is needed)" You know. I have noticed that in the "struggles with autism" videos, eye-contact is difficult and uncomfortable for some people. You might want to consider a caveat around that as well.

​@@PvblivsAelivsI'm not autistic but I do struggle with eye contact, here's a tip from my father which helped me: instead of looking in the other person in the eye, look on their forehead. It will look like you are making eye contact, but it's a bit less stressfull.

@@PvblivsAelivs just for neurodivergent people in general honestly

@@NewelOfKnowledge THE ONLY ONE??? bro number 7 is way more important omg

😭😭😭

My dad is also a master.

Do we all have the same dad?

same with my mom

In the US, women are less likely than men are to be bad listeners. Is this true elsewhere? Is it nature or nurture?

Maybe that is because majority of people want to have friends, so they'll put up with undesirable behaviour

they don't have friends, they have acquaintances they spend time with to keep from being alone. trust me, I know, I used to be SURROUNDED by people like this.

They may do 1 or 2 of these things, but not all of them. Nobody's perfect. And good friends recognize that.

​@K.C-2049 im sorry but by "like this" do you mean socially anxious people and traumatized people who dont want to be alone and spend time with others to prevent themselves from being dragged down into self hatred and doubt? Because that might not be what you're saying and i understand that, but that is literally what it sounds like youre saying with that wording. Not to mention a lot of things mentioned in this video are a trait of some kind of neurodivergency be it autism or ocd which honestly based on your description of the situation sounds *very* bad on your part.

@@ShyDigi No, this is not neurodivergence or social anxiety, just being selfish and self centered and i said majority of people in the modern world are self centered and cannot form meaningful friendship, as we live in a more egoistic and materialistic world now. Neurodiverge and social anxiety doesnt make an annoying/obnoxious person. Thats an oversimplification. Autistic people can be very caring and altruistic sometimes, although it depends on an individual basis. Social anxiety makes people struggle with socializing but in a different way than whats described here

THIS. My brother regularly gets angry at me because I stop paying attention to his words after about 40 minutes of having no chance to engage in the "conversation" myself, and his response is to throw an adult temper tantrum where he breaks things and punches holes in the wall because "I clearly don't care about ANYTHING he says"

I am the monologue friend 💀 it's just out of nowhere i need someone to make me stop

Whenever I want to add something to the conversation, I usually wait for the person talking to finish but usually 1 of 2 things happen: either they COMPLETELY change topics out of the blue OR someone interrupts them and changes the topic themselves. Am i not getting something here or am i just f**king autistic or something?

@maxave7448 preach it brother. And if a spot is found and you do try to chime in something they talk over you

Yep. Totally agree.

Yeah maybe this video was more how to give good initial impressions to people and yours is more how to not be a terrible person

Thank you! I swear I do all of these things in the video but I’m trying ok 😭

Thank you for sharing :] I'm rooting for you and your healing journey ❤ I wish you love, happiness and health, stranger!

That hit quite close to home. Same as the first reply.

You’re good bro

same, idk what the f to do

@@Dexxenyr Sounds like typical narcissistic behavior. I recommend a subreddit called r/raisedbynarcissists 1) Speak less to give them less ammunition to throw at you 2) Work on just letting the negative comments and emotions slide off of you so that it has less of an effect on your daily life 3) Work on becoming financially independent so that they cannot control your way of life and so that you can put distance between yourself and them

Props on being a good listener. Good listeners are more likely than people who think that they know best to wind up actually knowing best. Note that you are not allowed to refuse this compliment

Yeah, being humble is good but disrespecting yourself is bad. Ppl won't validate you if you don't validate something achieved by yourself. It's not about being selfish it's about building self love/value.

Lmao same

I'm not naming any names, but akin to the "sigh" is the other person pulling out their phone, reading a bit, and then starting to type a text or email response to someone else while you're talking.

Eye rolling

No worries. People are different. Conservative Americans, for example, prefer political candidates who are abysmal listeners

@SigFigNewton Abysmal listening skills seems to be a political requirement in general: pretend to know while ushering people into the unknown.

@@KH-rt3ef I believe that I live in a culture that raises people differently such that women who hold office are better listeners than the men who hold office.

WHAT 💀💀💀💀

@@raviolli.le.3eme Ultimate hack for them hating you. I'm not here to start no trouble; I'm legally required to do the sex offender shuffle.

​@@MatthewBrender-lr3jkabsolute genius, avoid Jail though!

Damn that sounds like another wild tale from Captain Usopp

I also have adhd

@@G3n3sis_is_fox Good to know, thanks. That gives me hope that i can improve my skills too :) You don't happen to cover conversation tips & tricks for ADHD persons, specifically? If not, maybe that would be a good topic for future videos as we are not alone with challenges like this.

Usually when it's like this and I notice I'm looking away and not engaging verbally I'll just be blunt and say "I know I'm saying much but I am listening" Usually works.

These things are so much harder and less obvious for we neurospicy people.

​@@williamcrocker951neurospicy lol I like that

@@schm147 Not original to me, but yes it’s very good.

As someone with adhd all of these hurt lol

@@nathaniel2554 they shouldn't hurt, instead should be hints of how you can be better

Everybody got that one guy, if you dont, that can only mean one thing

(me too) (I'm literally worse at this than you)

@@normanclatcher SHUT THE FUCK UP I AM LITERALLY THE WORST AT THIS

no, you are a truely wunderful person

Pretending there isnt a problem is how they got here

I agree. I've had a classmate in my filmmaking classes this year that has an overly extroverted personality and kept asking me way too many questions regarding why I chose the design of my birthday tattoo, like he was looking for a debate. And how respected is he ? He laughs and others laugh with him, he got a girlfriend in these same film classes after starting to talk in day one, etc. It is what it is. More reserved people have another set of challenges, but we better not be shy nor morally wrong, or else, we're not worth anything.

They do tend to still have people directly respect them in-person. But I’ve noticed they’re always the kind of person everyone disrespects behind their back.

​@@gregstunts347 Respect or fear?

@@John-qv5ux Fake respect.

i mean, my best friend do so much of this. always made this convo about her. everything was about what she wanted. she would trauma dump on others, but looking for comfort and venting was always a problem. she could never take responsibility for upsetting anyone, and would either blatantly ignore it or or literally say get over it. and did this to others, not just me. so idk i mean, she was always in drama but people still fawned over her :/

Stop lying to yourself.

They’re a lot of drama, and they’re expensive.

I agree, I’d say one good friend is better than 10 not close friends.

@@sirisaac6225 an honest enemy is better than a false friend.

it feels like allistics will hate me no matter what i do

@@augustlorcan7986 cuz most of em are narcissists who are incapable of empathy. Easy street breeds laziness

Yeah, that's really unfortunate.

Maybe so, but I don't know if we need to go around slapping an autism sticker on every person who does these.

​@@Josh_Stuchbery or the "please be patient I have autism" cap 🧢

True. But that doesn't mean that neurodivergent people can't acknowledge the symptoms that come with being neurodivergent and try to mitigate those bad habits. Being neurodivergent doesn't give someone a free pass to be rude. And that's coming from someone who has ADHD.

@@Shield954 I agree, it seems that going off of a lot these comments that people seem to think that autism automatically bans you from being able to improve yourself when really it’s only a small number of people who find it practically impossible to do so

IMO aautism has brought me nothing but suffering because my social language is that of a caveman. That's why we need eugenics.

@@SaintCharlos Nope ! Neurodivergent peoples brought so much to our world, many scientists and inventors were born with ASD. And we are more concerned about facts leading to a wish for more ecologism. I'm late diagnosed so I understand that suffering is a plague because of a world governed by tacit neurotypical rules. Even if I'm fatalist I can't let them "win". Even if we have to be aggressive in some situations, I think I will be more hurt than the people in front of me. So don't be eugenic because I bet that an eugenic system will let us be as we are more valuable than we thought.

@@freestalkerdotfr6391 So what should I do...? My inability to understand social cues has cost me friends on the internet (and sometimes in real life when I was a kid)...

@@SaintCharlos I followed a group into a Psychiatric Hospital. I got into this hospital 3 times for anxiety, depression, somatic and DP/DR disorder FYI. There is a group for social remediation.Try to go to an ASD group near your town, I don't do it cause I don't feel like socialising with my ASD fellows. I live in France so as far as I know there is help around me. IDK where you live but search for ASD peoples in your region. You'll get good friends, and you will relate to them. Perhaps a psychologist will help you too. If you can't afford it, I'll understand. Think about the fact we are 8 billions on Earth, why wouldn't you find someone that has high moral values and understand you ?

@@SaintCharlos I followed a group into a Psychiatric Hospital. I got into this hospital 3 times for anxiety, depression, somatic and DP/DR disorder FYI. There is a group for social remediation.Try to go to an ASD group near your town, I don't do it cause I don't feel like socialising with my ASD fellows. I live in France so as far as I know there is help around me. IDK where you live but search for ASD peoples in your region. You'll get good friends, and you will relate to them. Perhaps a psychologist will help you too. If you can't afford it, I'll understand. Think about the fact we are 8 billions on Earth, why wouldn't you find someone that has high moral values and understand you ? In fact I lost my first friend and that was horrible for me, nowadays I have the feeling that he wanted to be my friend again but he was in another high school, so I'll never know. The worst separation was due to a girl I loved in 2013, weirdly, and that was the begining of the worst nightmares. The dreamlike reality was very hard but I can kinda live with it. So I imagine what you are living. Yeah, I had the eugenics thoughts but for Schizophrenia and others but I refuse to give it a try on us because I've ASD. Just accept yourself and move on. Even neurotypicals lost friends, for that, we're not the exception.

literally most of these were autistic traits. neurotypicals just fucking hate us no matter what

The fact that OP is specifically responding only to direct praise of himself and totally ignoring any and all comments regarding this particular topic proves without a shadow of a doubt that OP is a narcissist and doesn't give a single fuck about the struggles of autistic, ADD, depressed or socially anxious people feel. To him, they are difficulties that do not follow his preferred script. He hates you and doesn't respect you simply because of who you are. He is a bad person, don't worry about what he thinks.

ADHD people also interrupt people a lot because of Unbidden Related Thought that came up and they want to share. It's not even about filling in someone else's thoughts, it's about sharing yours. Bad part is forgetting where you started, really

​@@Nictator42 Really? Even when we are unable to follow basic social cues?

@@Nictator42ok redditor, that’s so cool.

Yea same. I do number 7 not cause i'm fishing for compliments, its the exact opposite. I can't stand getting compliments cause i always feel like they're trying to fuck me over somehow, happened too often as a kid

​@@cantinadudesUgh, SAME. 😢

REAL I HATE GETTING PRAISE AND COMPLIMENTS BECAUSE IT MAKES ME FEEL SO SELFISH 💀

Same. I told my hairdresser my dad died that morning. Yes, I'm a horrible person

You'll never be in someone's head this is pathetic. The fact that people aggree when you finish their sentences is just because of their lack confidence to tell you to shut the fuck up or that the conversation is over for them because you spent it all alone in your head trying to mimic someone you aren't. Have the miserable life you deserve.

You probably dont, but eye contact can be odd, it can be easier when the other person isnt always directly looking back at you, so you can take some baby steps in becoming more confident. Also, sitting in silence is underrated.

It's easier to talk to those with similar interests as you. If your interests are too niche, try looking for new interests.

Look just above their eyes or the forehead it will still look like your giving eye contact when you aren't

same I'm worried I'm socially lacking because I barely contribute to the conversation. >I also didn't do well in an interview-style assignment where I didn't talk enough. Plus when I try to contribute I sometimes accidentally talk over people and worry I looked rude- I can listen but I don't know how to identify when to talk or what to say. I'm trying to work on it 🥲

yeah eye contact just makes me focus on their face instead of what they're saying

Thank you for telling that. Sometimes we forget what value we have to others while devaluing ourselves :)

Get straight back to it sir! I'm sure you'll pick up all the good habits in no time.

I don't think talking about a special interest counts as talking about yourself in fact i think it's the exact opposite

Lol be my friend pls

My fine sir, thank you again :)

same

LMFAOO 💀💀

Stalin and hitler reading this:

@@maxave7448 I have this strange feeling those two probably didn't *actually* like themselves much at all... partially because Hitler believed blonde, blue eyed people were superior, whilst having neither of those traits. Not exactly self confidence.

@@justarandomperson2786 Nobody capable of inflicting that much suffering likes themselves. You're right.

( joke btw: I think :] )

This is an interesting thought. I could see the connection from my own experience with social anxiety and now I’m wondering if there are studies on the similarities between the two.

Pay attention…. You’ve probably become so used to this behaviour that you rarely notice it. It’s the norm for so many around us. Now he has pointed all these out, you might start to hear it more and more. Once you see it, you can never unsee it….😀😀

@@monk3yboy69 projection :

No words can express my gratitude. Thank you :)

you just practised step 2, and 7. making sure it's about yourself and making sure you put yourself down in one sentence, you're a natural!

And you responded with 4 and 5! Great job everyone!

Me: pretty much does none of the things mentioned in the video Also me: has pretty much no friends fuck my life bro

@@maxave7448 Same, and people that practice the things in this video have many friends.

​@@graphicremoved2539 I really wonder how the person above you even got almost the same number of likes as the main comment 💀

^

your dad is a real man, you soyboy…

Dude, this is awesome. I appreciate you :)

@@NewelOfKnowledge Thanks :D

Thank you :) and welcome to the community!