Phone calls are rude interruptions. Imagine going about your day and someone just barges through the front door and begins talking about whatever it is their intent was and you are expected to drop everything and accommodate this!? Phone calls are like that.

1/ Research a topic or a person obsessively. 2/ Delay making phone calls. 3/ Talk to themselves. 4/ Tell emotional truths. 5/ The INFJ stare. 6/ It takes time to learn new things. 7/ Runs into walls.

Sometimes I won't look ppl in the eye because their soul is appalling and painful to engage

"...hate getting phone calls." Ha! that's me alright. The phone rings and i'm "Who the f*ck is that now? What do they want?"

1. Research obsessively and then discard!-YES! I was just thinking of this today!

I love Researching my personality, narcissistic personality, metaphysics, quantum physics, government things. An religion, I love learning new things. Definitely talk to myself 😂😂😂. All the above. We're so quirky I LOVE IT. ❤❤❤ Ive had plenty of bruises on me from bumping into stuff. So cool to FINALLY NOT FEEL ALONE. THX FOR UR VIDEOS 😁

When I express myself, I look away. When I am listening and interested, I look people in the eye.

I used to think I was a freak until I found that I'm an INFJ. Now I feel better with myself and my lil odd ways.

I absolutely *hated* when mother would put my sister and I on the phone to talk with some relatives or family friends. Is that just a me thing?

I am an INFJ and I appreciate your insights, Jay. The people in my life have always thought of me as intelligent, but I've doubted that because of my learning style. I have always felt that I'm a slow learner, but I tend to excel in a topic after a long learning period of pattern recognition. Thank you for not letting me feel alone in thought.

What about when you’re in front of a lot of people and it feels like you have forgotten how to walk normal.

I've obsessively researched criminals, and narcissists. I see them a mile a way now. It keeps me safe from being a victim. I also have phone-bia. 😂

I have always been a researcher. I obsess over a given topic. I used to think “this is my passion! I finally found it.” But inevitably I would reach a level of understanding and would move on. Friends and family get angry at me and say, “Just pick something and stick with it!” But I just add the information to my internal encyclopedia and move on.

60 yr old INFJ here. It does get easier. Oh.. those bloody door frames!🤣 I even built my own house with extra wide doorways. Made no difference! When I talk to myself I describe it as 'me' chatting to my flesh robot. I know when my family members are having problems because they avoid talking to me. They know a chat with me is a reality check that they can't handle yet. On the phone you'll often hear me say "I can hear you smiling" /frowning etc.. I live a hardworking but peaceful self-supporting life on our tiny farm and it gives me all the subject matter I need to quench my thirst for knowledge. This year I'll be building a 'rope pump' for our well - happy researching!

Phone calls to me, are like someone coming to my door and knocking (expecting me to open/pick up), without forewarning. Even my best friend or wife can call me out of the blue without warning, and I won't pick up and I'll wait for the voice message.

As an INFJ I am mature at mind but kid in the heart. Yeah people find me weird and intimidating. They don't understand my emotional truths and they always misunderstood me. Sometimes people takes advantage and used me for their own benefits but not trusting my intuition cost me a lot.

100% right that we are information vampires.When we find something we are interested in we spend most time researching about it.

Omg I never knew other people fell UP stairs like me! I’m not alone, thank you. ❤

I research conspiracy theories, houseplants, hair cutting (especially the shag cut), all kinds of animals, (particularly pets,) psychology, and narcissism.

When all these topics fit and you want to comment but then think about the perfect way to respond only to erase everything 5 or more times lol.

I feel very lonely and unbearably anxious. I just want to love and feel needed by someone.

Regarding the eye contact thing, I've learned that looking people in the eye while listening, shows that you're really listening, but I really struggle to maintain eye contact when I'm talking.

When I was younger, if I felt people watching me, I not only became clumsy, I also had a tendency to freeze. That was a nuisance. Anyone else got frozen from too much scrutiny?

Algebra was a real disaster at school. :) Phone calls ought to be forbidden altogether. After 10 years in therapy and becoming a therapist myself I am able to answer every third phone call.

Agreed on all of these. Phone calls are part of my job and I absolutely put off my phones every single week if I can. My issue with phone calls is I can pick up on peoples emotions with tone of voice, and then I absorb that and it lingers with me throughout the day. For better or worse.

I hate phone calls. They're like unnecessary anxiety initiators. I have trouble looking people in the eyes if it's a stranger. If they demand I do so I end up glaring into their face and they either get uneasy or more upset, lawl.

Talking to myself is more entertaining most times. 😅😅

INTJs do much of the same! 😆 As for being “slow learners” due to needing to see pattern recognition first, that was why I took a couple math classes twice. For some reason, the school district placed me in the most advanced math classes, which I would fail the first time, but the second time I took it, I’d recognize lessons/concepts I’d learned before, which indicated to me that it was important enough to retain the info. Once I understand the relevance of something, it’s easy for me to store & retain knowledge for a long time. Don’t have much RAM, but I do have a pretty large hard drive in my brain. I also love how we as Ni-doms can connect seemingly disparate topics! 💕

I love researching (my personality, nutrition, love languages, the Bible, personal growth, etc), don't like phone calls but I love talking to myself always!😂 I enjoy talking about emotions, working on self-improvement, and love staring (I didn't realize that until now haha😅). I used to feel bad about my learning style until I knew about my personality type. That was a huge release as well as this video. Thanks a lot! 🎉🎉

Talking to myself is like journalling- i dialogue between different parts of myself to resolve stressful emotive circumstances. It works really well bc i am externalising, rather than just thinking it thru❤

Obsessive research? Oh yes! Some fifteen years ago, while I was deep into watching documentaries about black holes, supernovas and quantum mechanics, I stumbled upon the book “137: Jung, Pauli, and the Pursuit of a Scientific Obsession” that more or less revolves around quantum physics pioneer Wolfgang Pauli seeking mental help from Carl Jung in 1932. Reading this fascinating book then led me to Jung-based MBTI theory and finding out about my personality type. A life-changing experience.

I don't even have a cell phone. My land-line does not have an answering machine either. Agreed, hate phone calls.

Infj: "Leave me alone" "Ok,bye" "Wait... Don't go"

Talking to myself. I’m guaranteed an intelligent conversation..

We love looking at patterns, systems, discrepancies, hidden stuff, mystery, synchronicities, symbolism, yeah metaphors, deep feelings so uneasy to delve into by most. 😂yeah, talking to oneself, staring intently, not always intimate, just gauging the other person, getting lost in the inner workings behind d words, noticing body language, so uncomfortable and weird for others, sometimes zoning out completely in d middle of conversation then running away, if we don't share don't make up anything about it 😊 We don't mean to surprise everyone, maybe people just over talk, we don't mean to be cunning, people just underestimate us or think we are pushovers, we don't mean to lie, maybe we just haven't shared all to not hurt or cause unnecessary tension. If we feel safe, we sometimes over share, not to upstage but to help. Twist our words, you get the hulk, humiliate us, you get door slam. From 100 to 0, piercing silence, but really, we hate doing it but we have to. I research people and things like, thoroughly, obsessively, for months and years until I master the knowledge, topics are variable. I just love learning about humanity and life. Anything useful that I can share to benefit others, too.

Absolutely no doubt now - I am INFJ for sure! Hi from the UK and keep up this excellent channel, I'm listening.

In my opinion, this is the only channel that truly hits the INFJ nail right on the head! You arent doing it as something else and are just interested in infj's, you really and truly are one yourself and that is definitely recognized by the other ones like me. Great video man, keep up the good work!

I have all of them. Regarding #2, I don’t particularly like text message conversations. Along with not being able to read facial expressions, you cannot hear the tone of voice, so you cannot get a real feel of this type of communication. It feels impersonal. Well, for me anyway.

“Information vampire” describes it perfectly. Topics I’ve delved into: -Bronze Age collapse -MBTI -Enneagram -Buddhist thought -House music -specific DJs (Fatboy Slim most recently) -Leadership skills -coaching skills -Holistic healing -nutrition -menopause and perimenopause -the monetary system -INFJ stuff 😂😂😂

Another comment…. Yes, I always thought I was a bit slow with my learning and very thoughtful about everything I was taught. I think teachers thought I was dim when I was younger. I ended up with a Masters degree with a recommendation to pursue my PhD. I taught at university level for a few years. I could always spot an INFJ student and used to love supporting and developing them to their full potential.

Phone-bia!! Not terrible!!!🤣 INFJ gaze?... we're seeking!! We want that deep convo. I appreciate your videos... your humor is great! Thank you.

I have had call phobia for my entire life. Most productive in writing. But others dont always take it right.

The phone phobia is dead on. I hate phones. I have a landline that I always let go to voice mail. I have a cell phone that I keep in my car 24-7. I'd be surprised if I have turn it on more than once per year. The learning part is also dead on. I started taking piano lessons as an adult. I told my instructor, the learning curve is going to be slow and flat for a relatively long while, but then it's going to take off like a rocket. And so it has.

I often find myself sitting on the couch, listening to music, and constantly trying to interpret and put together patterns of people's behaviour. And i do this for an obscene amount of time. I get these flashes of deeper images in my mind, trying to predict how certain interactions will unfold, or attempting to use that intuition to foresee potential consequences of those present behaviours, from a futuristic viewpoint. And sometimes i will get so lost within my head that i lose track of time. The emotions i feel become so intense, that sometimes i wonder if i am getting too far out of touch. Its like a super-computer with terabytes and terabytes of storage, and the information is so wealthy, you need strong guardrails in place to prevent a system failure because its so overwhelming.

I love images of space, stars, 0 gravity. I need a lot of space literally, it is calming, fulfilling.

My family members think im nuts. They ask me who I’m talking to. And I reply. Myself, it’s the only way I am guaranteed and intelligent conversation.

Yeah, Custer. I researched our family history when I first got married, in the '70s, and discovered that although Custer didn't have his own (white) children, he was a relative, and visited my ancestors in Ohio before the Civil War. Or during, or shortly after. This led me to a deep dive into the Lewis & Clark Expedition, Plains Indian history, a master's degree in conflict resolution, and eventually moving to Nebraska to the first place where Lewis & Clark met Native people and living on that reservation for ten years.

The phone calls, and the running into walls and door frames, AND the falling up the stairs! So dead on. 😂

I had no idea that my public clumsiness (including curbs, lol) was part of my personality type! I've always thought I was a visual learner but what you say about pattern recognition makes a lot of sense. My mom told me that when I was little, and she was explaining things to me verbally, I would start crying and tell her I didn't understand what she was saying. I'm retired now but I also had that feeling when my boss was giving me verbal instructions. I eventually learned to repeat back to him what I had heard to make sure I was getting it. I love learning and researching...religion, aliens, politics, health, gardening, etc., etc. People who aren't are a great mystery to me. You have helped me so much, Jay! Thank you!

I feel so comforted, relaxed and normal now 🤣Even after watching and reading so much about my traits. Thanks, I appreciate it a lot.

I was telling a friend the other day to please text me first before wanting to talk on the phone. I explained I need a moment to redirect my brain. One of my favorite chapters in the book, "The Introvert Advantage" is on phone phobia. Helped me understand myself and phone habits.

One proud research nerd here! I discovered who my biological father was 3 years ago & began an intense & fascinating ancestry journey which revealed very famous historical figures. This led to my purchase of several books (from Thriftbooks; hardcover, of course, as we appreciate the finer feel of it.) Before that, it's been finance, real estate, antiques, decorating, nutrition, horses, goats, bees, cats, regenerative farming, massage therapy, world religions, running, yoga, etc. I am definitely "out-loud voicing" words of encouragement to myself often; sometimes in song. Phone calls? Nope; not Skyping either. (Cringe). When in Massage Therapy class, the instructor would explain the right technique but follow it up with telling us what not to do. This frustrated my mind & I asked her to stop telling us (me, really), what not to do. It was throwing me off. I did struggle at first as I had in learning foreign languages, but, at the end of courses, I came out successful. I seemed to have had to redesign/remold my creature self by absorbing; by digesting the subject of my desire fully. To experience it in body, mind and Spirit. Being able to express how I feel (positive emotions) around the general public has not resulted in positive responses. I have reined in my exuberance over the years & let it fly free in my private time. I probably still look into people's eyes with too much intensity when listening to them. I'll work on that. You're a wonderful presenter & I'm thrilled to have come upon your chats. Thank you.

I got told not to look ppl in the eyes so much, was told it was creepy

I AM a person who will look up people online even if they're not a public figure. Better to know up front than wish you'd known later. Not finding anything is just as troubling as finding things. But I don't interact with so many people that it's a constant activity. When I get enough information that I'm satisfied, I quit. So am I weirder than the average INFJ even?

Observing people and staring is a life-long habit for me. I want to know about them just by observing. I get caught often by the subject of my observation, and I'm sure it make others uncomfortable. I always try to have a smile at the ready to try to calm their concerns. LOL on hitting curbs, I do that all the time!

This was very encouraging. I definitely do most of these things and I feel pretty weird most of the time lol I think as INFJs we are a tiny bit weird, but that's what sets us apart. We may have strange idiosyncrasies, but we also have unique gifts as well.

💯% accurate! Things obsessively looked up: 1)beekeeping 2) gardening 3) very historical periods 4) actors and actresses 5) curly hair care 6) creationism

I love languages! I too delay making phone calls I too prefer texts for the same reason I too talk to myself I too tell straight up emotional truths. People don’t always like that about me but that is not my problem. I will go on the KZfaq chatlogs and find people in the chatlog who need to grow. I feel it is better them hearing it from me because I will say in a kind way The Death Stare is definitely me! The learning speed is true also. I have told new employers that it would take longer to learn but I would be one of the best employees they ever had You talk about running into walls. I am really thinking all the time so constantly making sure I am doing things safely

every partner or friend i've ever had has been freaked out by this stare. ni just wants all the details.

Another excellent and accurate compilation Jay, as I found myself smiling, nodding and even laughing in agreement 😀 You asked….Fortunately with being retired, I’ve been down quite a few areas of research these last four years and won’t specifically list them here as don’t want to flag up 😉 As you rightly say, I do and did spend quite some time getting info from various sources on each subject before I was sufficiently in agreement. Suffice to say we’ve been lied to about most things in this life and whilst some people don’t want to hear/see it (probably because they can’t handle it and it would make them have to rethink everything), I’ve always preferred the truth and can handle it. Only a few actual friends have looked at what I’ve discovered and can see the lies too, but they’re in the minority. I’ve found more people online who already know and they’ve become my circle. Edit: Just requested to join your mailing list circle 😃

As a kid I was bullied a lot. One time when bringing this topic to a teacher she told me that I have something in my eyes, in the way I look at someone that someone "have to bully me". Ever since then I often avoided eye contact

I’m a 66-year-old INFJ. And a teacher. I have found that looking at the persons mouth between the nose and the upper lip and vague focus on the face that way it looks like you’re looking into the eyes, but you’re not because when you’re look at the eyes, you know that it is happening it generates a recognition jolt from human to human. But the folks of your attention/other people, they don’t know it and can’t tell you’re not looking at them in the eyes.

Huh. I've never attributed my "clumsiness" or lack of spatial awareness to being an INFJ before. Interesting. Thanks!

I don't see any other way to learn about something. If you don't dive in, are you learning anything? I'd comment on everything you listed but it all just hits too close to home. LOL Glad I'm not the only one that bumps into everything. Good thing I can find the humor in my clumsiness. Fun video to watch, Thank you!

I'm an INFJ and this is spot on!

I don’t avoid phone calls but I usually only have to talk to people I actually like conversing with. I research all types of things, like personality types, gardening, underwater metal detecting, baking, animal behaviors, wood turning, and how to videos in general. I talk to myself all the time.

I have thousands of topics I have obssessively researched... from Art, Architecture, to Historical figures... Self-improvement and Psychology, being an all-time favorite....

I am on board with you 100% about researching topics, phone calls, and talking to yourself out loud, I thought everyone did that? I know what you mean about getting your words right for texting, I make my answers real short. Listening to this is like having my jail cell door opened up for a bit.!! I can peek outside for a bit:)

I laughed throughout this cool video because EVERY POINT was spot on in my case. As an INFJ I question EVERYTHING, including, whether or not I'm really an INFJ 😅. It's confirmed everytime. I love being a little "strange" now that I've found my place in the world.

OMG a gal pal told me I was an INFJ last year and I wasn't sure she was correct. I bought a book and then started to listen to INFJ informational videos on KZfaq. I am most definately, an INFJ. I struggle with eye contact with a few exceptions of people who I am close to.

I love researching about music, About classical instruments, Traditional music styles, singers, pitches, high notes,etc. And I love nerding around about these things. My past interests were about genetics, quantum physics and human mind. I found one thing weird about me that, if I listen or watch some music or movie, I just go to google and search up everything about that movie, the cast, the production etc. I just get obsessed with that for about a couple of days.

I used to run into walls and doors and fall/slip from/on stairs a lot in childhood... But now I have successfully got a hang of it... almost. I am always extra careful on stairs...

Damn dude I used to work in customer support service. I enjoyed other parts of the work but not the phone calls.

Very true. I find all of these things in my day to day life. I talk to myself a lot. I find it to be very helpful and productive.

I too am obsessive with research about, well...everything!

The part of " Marvel's -End Game" where Dr Strange goes through all of the possibilities of how things play out, it totally what i do in many situations. I always like to prepared for whatever happens

I so have all of these- currently researching aquarium shrimp. True. I hate phone calls. So much of this is true of me. Im one of those people in Walmart talking to myself.

I can't believe how accurate this it. I constantly hit my head on things. I used to run over things a lot that the mechanic advised me to get an SUV and never a sedan and its a life changer. The stare, i used to do that as a kid. Wen i was in a group in Yosemite, they took a picture of me staring into someone's eyes. I couldnt help it. people would tell me i was staring too intently. I had to stop doing that and so when i talk now i just talk while avoiding eye contact. But with my family i stare at them they got used to it. 😂

Almost made me feel as though you're tagging along in my daily life. Can't add a single bit to what you've described, like looking into a mirror. Thanks.

Obsessive reseaches, phon-bia, and slow learning speed.....it scares but comforts me at the same time, that all these are simply common traits of INFJs (that Im not the only weird one😂)... recently, i have been trying not to completely define myself as INFJ and rather believing in everyone has full potential to become what they want to be...but i figured I have so much INFJs inside me after watching this 😂😂 I have researched a lot in self-development, personalities, diets, nutrition, weightlifts, religions, bible, how to study better, how to live better and fuller life, and etc... I'm very thankful of knowing INFJ's learning pattern. I always thought Im just simply a slow learner, but it was pattern recognition, which needs more data and time to grasp concepts and ideas.

Oh God, the researching.... lol I HAVE to be really discipled with this because this world has endless topics to research.

I’ve learned to reign in my range of observation when I’m stressed so I don’t get overloaded. When I’m relaxed I can lend out again.

sometimes I'm talking to myself and others ask '' you asked anything from me''

Jeepers. Scarily accurate! The phone-bia is real.

Obsessive researching is why a lot of INFJs mistype as INTP, actually a lot of these overlap with INTP.

What I have in common: stare and stairs! I sometimes stare at something or someone, maybe it's just because I'm looking at some interesting detail, I'm completely absorbed in catching everything about the most silly of things, like a pretty color on a shirt. I get that can be upsetting, like I'm judging or something like that, but really I'm not judging anything. Reguarding stairs: I probably can beat the world record in going downstairs slowly when the stairs appear to be slippery.

Wow, I did not believe I am an INFJ (after being typed, both by testing, and by psychologist/therapist). Until, I listened to you. I have issues with every single point you made, especially talking out loud to myself. I really appreciate how simple you made all these points. Absolutely true about "rabbit hole research" - I have studied: medieval heraldry, horses, dog training, gardening, Viking era culture, are just a few. Amazing vid! Thanks.

Hi Jay! I appreciate these videos so very much! Man, all you've stated in this video applies to my path in life. ( INFJ as well, if I haven't stated that before.) To an extreme. LoL. Medieval History in college. Philosophy, Art History, an aspiring musician.. Numerous times, I've been told, " You're too intense, Why are you justifying / explaining everything you do, all you experience?" I'm very empathic, caring, face my fears, hold fast to values, integrity and personal ethics...... And it scares the hell out of most people. I'm not perfect, and believe in seeking knowledge, skills to improve myself in service to others. ( Once DoD contractor/ Military, now certified master Reiki Practitioner, Holistic health therapist.) I strive to be a better person, do good in this mad, mad world and help others. I expect others to do the same. Seldom happens... Yet, I still try to have hope and believe that Humanity can change for the better... Though a challenge, we all truly can thrive as the true, beautiful, reflection of our Souls. Such is my hope for everyone.

I can take endless time in composing or responding to a text or email. I often will text to respond to a voice message. As for the eye contact. I find myself not looking directly unless I can be sure they are not looking at me. I now see that I am actually just processing. Your examples of INFJ behavior really are excellent

Your videos are mesmerizing bcos I recognize myself in you and that’s so liberating. It feels good to know there are others like me. I’m not alone. I believe the INFJ stare happens when we’re consciously and subconsciously reading someone. I also think it happens when we’re super interested in what someone’s saying. I think we become only partway present bcos we’re actually picturing it in our head.

Talk to us about getting past a break up.

I have always talked to myself! I’m so thrilled to discover I’m not alone!!! Yay!

This is spot on. When I was a kid I used to get so stressed out about when the phone rang, now my phone is just always on silent. I've red books on serial killers, forensics, chakras, meditation, search and rescue, bushcraft, animal behaviour, quantum physics etc lol. Also went to school for natural science, massage and firefighting. I learn in patterns, I never understood how people don't. I am definitely a slow learner. I will make all the mistakes at the beginning until I see the pattern and my brain does a thing and it clicks, then I go past my peers. I also run into door frames lol This is nice, thanks!

When you’re standing by your car recapping what you need to do out loud and second guessing some things out loud and asking questions out loud (to yourself)...and there's almost always a person next to you wondering if they should call someone...*story of my life* 😂 and yes, phone-bia is the word of the day.

Your first one, Freddie Mercury. I was obsessed for like four weeks over the summer. Now, I like him the same as any other musician I like.

Yup, they all apply. What I didn't notice that could be common is the running into walls and door frames. For years now, I only do that by mistake when I'm at home because I want to be fully aware of my surroundings whenever I leave the house. It's because I've tripped on stairs in front of people a few times before. Anyway, sometimes I'm distracted thinking about the best way to solve a problem and I bump into a wall in the hallway or the door frame of my room. The thing is, since I know my house so well because I grew up in it as a little kid, I can even walk around freely in complete darkness without touching the walls and without bumping into anything, so I thought it was odd for me to run into something sometimes. Thanks for pointing that out.

I hate phone calls. Most of the time lately I find people that call are, in one way or the other, not prepared. They call because they failed to read directions. They call because they don't bother to do any research. I hate that.

Bats. My family visited a bat cave in Central Texas……I deep dove into studying bats.

Me: answers my own questions ...aloud. Nope. I'm not schiz. I'm Infj.

I agree with all that you have stated here. I especially hate the phone. This was very problematic for me when I worked in sales. I had to talk myself into taking a block of time to return calls. I much prefer one on one conversations in person. My partner is an INTP and avoids eye contact, this used to really bother me until we both learned about personality types. Now I know not to peer into his soul every time we have a conversation.