Very profound and beautiful. Thank you for all the work you put into sharing all of this.

These insights make me feel that we are all connected across the world. Nobody can tell us that people in other parts of the world are our enemies, whose economies we have to fight or even wage war against. We are all people on this planet and share the same grief, the same concern for our children, the sick and the elderly and celebrate and love in the same way. We shouldn't let anyone manipulate us, but listen to our hearts!

Wow, Miriam! Thanks so much for sharing! What a beautiful way of sending off a family member! And how beautiful to be upheld by community in this way. I'm Australian. I grew up with Italian immigrants. My husband has Chinese heritage but was raised Caucasian. Watching this reminded me how precious true community is, and how privileged I am to experience that, with my extended family, and with my faith community! It reminds me of that beautiful verse from the Bible: "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." .(Galatians 6:2) How precious it is to be given the opportunity to help another bear their burdens! And suffering will help you bear yours in time! ❤️

It is truly extraordinary to be able to display village traditions in China. (sadness and a series of traditional ceremonies for the death of your husband's grandmother). You tell the story so beautifully through a series of pictures accompanied by a very coherent narrative. Please accept my condolences.

In my Chinesse culture, white clothes and accessories represent our deepest grief when we loss someone we loved. But only when aomeone dies in very old ages (age 80 years or plus) we will put additional red features to represent that grief familes feels happy to have someone special that dies in very old age. In general, there are some similarities among many Chinesse tribes cultures. Thank you Miriam for documenting such important phase of Chinesse culture especially in YongHong family 🙏 Sending my condolences for YongHong big family 🙏 God bless you all.

Wow that was a great video and mind blowing to me what your husband said about letting dying person go in peace, makes total sense to me! I love the idea of off using color in a funeral , in German villages older people wear black for 1year! Thx Miriam!

Us westerners would think it very sinister to keep our own coffin in our home before our death, but I actually love that, as it makes death seem not scary, and the coffin seem like just a piece of furniture we'll get to use someday. Is the family's religion buddhist or shamanistic? Beautiful video.

Thank you for this document Miriam ! I think it is wonderful how the family prepares together in community. It helps with the grieving process. In the US and in the UK to I believe we have Hospice nurses who help to prepare the family . I had that for my husband and it was a great support for me. In Holland where I am from we can keep the body in the home in a refrigerated casket. My friend was surrounded by her children in her son’s home for 5 days. It was also quite beautiful. I loved the colorful traditions of the Chinese people in the rural areas. Thank you for your explanation 🙏💕🌷

So much more authentic. Rural China has much to teach us.

Wow...this was a wonderful explanation of a Chinese funeral.

Tack för att du delade detta. Jätte intressant. Jag har varit i Kina och det finns som en naturlig andlighet där som vi förlorat mycket av här, som du säger pga moderniserat samhälle där alla förlorat kontakten med sig själva, varandra och naturen och det naturliga. Så du är verkligen lyckligt lottad som har möjligheten att vara med om det här. Jag skulle verkligen vilja leva som du där i Kina. Jag älskar Kina. Det var min första och bästa resa jag gjort, när jag åkte dit när jag var 20 år och reste runt. Det var en magisk resa, så himla intressant. Och jag har minnen från tidigare liv i Kina. Nu är jag 55 år och skulle gärna åka dit igen. Jag kommer att följa dig fortsättningsvis oxå för det är jätte intressant. Lycka till. Välsignelser från mig.

我亲历了奶奶、外公、大伯、爷爷的去世，那种感受太心痛了！永鸿米粒家人节哀

Loved to hear your impressions of the funeral❤ Very thoughtful. I am glad you did this video in English. Learned a lot.

It`s interesting to see the differences between the north of China and here in the South. Especially surrounding attitudes surrounding death. We grieve because we are grieving our own death almost as much as the one who`d passed. That`s why the communal weeping is important and something we should all embrace.

This video is one of the best examples why people love you, are drawn to you; you are such a beautiful soul…you have an amazing personal, clear, thoughtful way to explain sth so sad, yet profound and meaningful …you do not judge, but first of all try to understand and make sense of it regardless that it might be totally different or absurd at first glance, yet somehow you could always find a way to dig deeper sense out of it, relate to it, and bring it to other people through your beautiful sharing…well done my dear!❤

As an overseas Chinese, born and raised outside mainland China, in my village there is still a tradition of crying like that, even though it is almost extinct. Those who cry are usually women, wearing head scarves made from used flour sacks, so that their faces cannot be seen when they cry. Their cries are also usually loud while pronouncing words like "Oh dear mother, now I don't have a mother... why did you go so quickly... poor me..." and usually with a rhythmic intonation like they are singing.

Miriam has sharp observation and sensitive mind in different cultures. Preparation of a coffin is a long lasting custom through China. I am from the southern China. My maternal grand-mom purchased her coffin around her 60s and left it at my father's living room for some years. My father often prompted her not to forget to take it back. My grand mom passed away at 95 after being taken home from hospital on her last day. However, I am not quite sure whether the coffin was that one I saw previously. It's also quite common people might make fun with each others at funeral dinner, grieves turning into laughs within hours. And this probably only happens on occasion of people dying fairly old. In China, it means 白喜 white happiness. People won't make fun if the dead is young.

In most old villages in Asia and Euro Asia, you could hire people who would cry for the dead. I always found that extra special. Thanks for showing your own family funeral to us, Miriam.

Thank you Miriam for creating such a beautiful video of a Chinese funeral in rural China. Appreciate your lovely narrative which paints such a meaningful scene, giving us a very clear understanding of something seldom talked about or even seen in funerals today.

I totally believe that you must have been a well educated Chinese in your past life, very observent, very compassionate,

Thank you for your thoughtful, sensitive and eye-opening explanation of how death is dealt with in rural China. Beautiful video. May Yonghong's grandmother rest in peace.

Thank you for posting the video. I'm Chinese and used to live in Southern China. We have something similar, but there are many different cultures within China. It's a vast country with fifty-six ethnic groups, each with its own unique culture and customs

If you are not afraid of death, then there's nothing that can beat you when you're alive ❤ May your husband's grandma rest in peace 🙏🏻

Much respect to you for a very thorough explanation for this funeral in northern China

Hi Miriam , I followed you for quite sometime now and so very happy to see you starting to post here again. This video just take it to the next level and goodness (not grandma passing part), just the content and how to explain the cultural, tradition stuff. I am Chinese born and raised in a different country but my grandparents and parents are very traditional and follow every culture traditions to the teeth people. Me and my family live in US and my husband is from US and I was telling him a few times in the past about the wedding, funeral back home are week long process. I also told him that at the traditional funeral, there are scheduled crying process and that when someone pass, there should be non-stop crying take place with relatives, family members, friends on "crying" rotation. There were even professional criers i remembered witnessing in one funeral when I was quite young. I never understood about the necessity of must be non-stop crying thing. Anyway when I told my husband that long time ago, he thought that was the strangest thing. Then when I saw your video this morning, i showed it to him and he said "wow, you weren't making that up!! :" Anyway, please keep posting you and your family life journey. we love it!!! Wishing everyone love and good health and happiness!!!

Thank you so much for such a heartfelt and beautiful explanation. It was such an educational video...and I won't forget your sentiments!

Thankyou for sharing this Miriam. It's something nobody gets to see or understand otherwise.

Hi Miriam this is definitely your best video, if not one of the best, it is eyes opening, never been seen before, and philosophical at the same times. And it is heartening to see how open minded you are in accepting and understanding another culture and learn from it. Thanks for a beautiful video ❤

A very touching video! I like your point of view about the funeral ritual. You are a wise woman and have a very sensible mind. You also observe things in very detail. From your observation, a bible verse pops out in my mind that pretty match the scene, which is as below: “A time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing” (Ecclesiastes 3:4-5). It is quite interesting that Yonghong’s relatives mourned and laughed at a scheduled time during the funeral ritual. I never attended any traditional Chinese funeral rituals, except one when I was a little kid. However, I did attend quite few wakes (ceremonies) in church. In church, they scheduled a time to sing hymns, a time to have family and friends sharing their personal memories about the deceased person that sometimes make guests laugh or cry. So, this might be the same ideas of mourning and laughing at a scheduled time but in different form. Different cultures reflect their conceptions of death differently. I see western culture tends to honor and celebrate the deceased person’s achievements in the world whereas Chinese culture expresses their emotion of lost loved one as well as caring the deceased person's future. Although both western and Chinese view death as a transition to another existence, western family doesn’t try to give the soul any gifts, but Chinese family burns paper money, paper car, and paper house hoping that the soul will receive those paper properties and live comfortably in the other world. I like Yonghong relatives and neighbors gather together to eat, work, cry, even entertain in a long week. I am sure that so many people around during this week definitely reduce the sadness and bring comfort to the family. Your ending with "Birth and dead" stimulated by Yonghong’s expression about transition from sleep to dead is a thought-provoking.

Thank you for sharing this with us, although it's sad, it's so beautiful at the same time.

When I clicked I thought I would watch a couple of minutes only , but I watched the whole thing. You didn’t speak too much to make it tiring, you kept it interesting and I also I like your voice it’s calming.

Thank-you for sharing this intimate time with the family. Love, from Canada

Thank you for sharing. It’s touching to hear different culture and different practice.

Deepest condolences to Miriam & Yong Hong family. A very beautiful documentary indeed. Thxs

So profound...so beautiful, touching, insightful....special. thanks so very much for shaing

作为中国人，在葬礼上男扮女装，开玩笑的那个风俗我也是第一次见到，谢谢你让我也开了眼界～中国很大每个地方都会有不同的风俗，希望你能更好的以第三方的视角来解读中国的风土人情～ 谢谢

❤❤❤❤❤ Miriam, wow! Detta är säkert ett nytt perspektiv på begreppet död och ritualer på landsbygden i Kina. Tack för dina tolkningar. Mycket kärlek.😘😘🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

Thank you Miriam! It's interesting to learn about how another culture handles the passing of a loved one. My thoughts are with your family... 🙏 It's similar, yet a little different, here in my community in Texas. Many adults choose to pay and plan their funeral, burial, vault, coffin, head stone, decoratio, etc. and type of service. We have been through this many times in the past few years... Our family, neighbors and friends help us with meals, thoughts and prayers. Then we generally have a wake. It's in the evening, before the day of the funeral. It's typically open casket, unless the end was unfortunate or the person appears less than the sum of their life. At this time, people can visit the deceased, offer comfort, hope and respect for everyone. Then typically, there is a religious service (often the rosary). Then the next day is the funeral. It is much the same as the wake, except that the service is the last and accompanied by an official religious service and often the family and guests will choose to speak about their loved one. Then it's on to the grave site, mausoleum or wherever to be sealed. Sometimes a wake and funeral don't happen. Sometimes, one chooses cremation. Then it's a memorial service, with people standing up to speak, sometimes a religious service and then the ashes go where they're supposed to go. Sometimes they want out at sea, sprinkled over somewhere special or simply interred with their passed loved ones. The family, friends and community still brings food and assistance for quite some time.

Beautifully documented.

Wow, thank you for sharing Miriam. What a sad yet special time. I wish the best for you and your family.

Very interesting mini documentary you made for this. Excellent work.

Oh my goodness! Miriam give us a such deep insight explaining of traditional Chinese funerals. It’s the real study of anthropology, no doubt!

米粒极高的文学修养，把一场悲伤的葬礼描述出美好的画面❤谢谢你对中国文化的喜欢。

Thank you , you show us how respecting all these rituals is so important and how death in France is so sad thing because we are alone with our grief . ❤

Wow Miriam, this is an incredible documentary film, really beautiful and meaningful work thank you so much. I learned a lot and will take what I learned onwards xx

Love your video. We don't see many traditional funerals now in China. It's a shame. Traditons become traditions for a reason. We need to keep the traditions, otherwise we would forget who we are or where we come.

Thank you for sharing this tradition with us. I never thought of how important it is to have time to process along with family and have a community to support you during death. I really wish the modern world would allow this.

Meditating on impermanence and thinking about death motivate us to live our lives morally. We are thankful to you for putting this beautiful and meaningful documentary together. Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu 🙏🏻

Thank you for sharing your thought considerations of what is a sad and mournful event. My parents passed away and actually it is not classified as crying but instead wailing.

Thank you so very much for the meaningful pic frames at an oldfashioned Chinese funeral. Very much more grateful for your insightful narratives that bridged Chinese and Western death customs. I wish your vlogs begin more exploration and understanding about Chinese culture of an ancient people and civilization.............

Beautiful how you observed and you explained your thoughts.

This is why in western countries there are a lot of depression, anxiety, ptsd after u lost some one. Because they didnt release your emotion . While in chinese tradition, the crying was meant to release those emotion so after the funeral, the living can move on with their life and not caring extra luggages like mental health problems😅. I think this is because in the old time, life was hard in china. So , the living has no time to mourn , the have to move on, work and earn a living. Thats why during funeral is the only time you are encouraged to release every single emotions. Also you notice there is an entertainment part, which meant to cheer the living , and remind them that its time to move on. Chinese tradition just full of hidden thoughtful meaning but just dont said straight forward. But its worthed to saved because its been there for thousand of years

Thank you for sharing this funeral experience with us. It was very informative and I very much appreciate learning about people’s cultures and beliefs.

What a beautiful way to celebrate someone passing.

I would give millions of 'like'. Be blessed! May God bless us all, protect us all in love , Harmony and unity! ♥️

Thank you so much Miriam for your explanations and thoughts!

M not sure i agree with your husband on not letting his grandma know that you people where there. I have witnessed n heard about many deaths that the dying waited to see someone before they go off. 1 was my mum, she waited for my sis from UK n upon seeing her she left the next day. 2 was my father's brother , he left after my aunt told him not to wait for my dad cos my dad was very sick n couldn't see him. He left about 5min after that. I do hear alot of this waiting tails but Yonghong's reason also make sense. Tqvm for sharing and also appreciate the effort taken.

Interesting to know about it in details, thanks for sharing!

I so clearly remember my first experience of a death in the family after moving to Sweden. As an American I was used to funerals happening within a few days or at most a week. My daughter's swedish great grandmother lost HER mother a few days before we were scheduled to take a huge family vacation to Denmark with multiple families and cousins and everything. My American brain instantly assumed that would be cancelled. I was rather shocked to hear grandma say something to the effect of that her mother had plenty of time now so a week's vacation would hardly be a burden to wait out. Imagine my surprise when the funeral didn't happen for nearly a month. I think it is very interesting to bump into these sorts of cultural differences around the topic of death because we DO tend to be locked into very specific ideas based on our own upbringing and it's first when you sort of viscerally experience a challenge to that that you begin to see just how interwoven our ideas about death are with all sorts of thing in LIFE. Thank you for sharing your reflections!

Thank you for sharing your thoughts so beautifully.

Death and birth are both nature no one can escape them. Why should they be treated differently. Your description of a chinese funeral gives meaning and value to a loved one's departure. Western world is lost in material things, and have forgotten the simple pleasures in life. Thank you for providing some thoughts to ponder.

Thank you for helping us understand. ❤

Thank you for this beautiful video. Love all the explanations and traditions. Death comes so quickly and in the western world, the funeral passage passes by so quickly. This allows for proper grieving when it happens as opposed to weeks later when everyone is gone home and the reality sinks in.

That's a kind of farewell party for the family in countryside.

Dear Miriam, I watch your videos from time to time. I subscribed and I learnt many things about rural China’s life. I travelled several parts of the world and lived in some of them. I now live in Paris, and I suffer of the fast speed type of life. It’s like being caught in a tornado. And your images and comments about the death event in your family are now resonating with my deepest beliefs: why running? Why rushing? Everything around me is going in the opposite direction of what is good for the body and the mind. Why?… thanks for this wonderful sharing. It fuels my thoughts for the life we will choose next.. a life closer to human’s nature. Slow and full of exchanges with the loved ones and people in general.

In past three years，me and my wife attended three of her elder family members‘ funerals， grandmas' and uncle’s. Those experience and memories brought me quite different perspect of views and thoughts on life and modern world. Those rural funerals are almost as same as what you just experienced. As a citizen was born in Beijing and lived over 20 years in Shanghai，I never had such kinda customs about death，even my mom and dad‘s funeral. Chinese rural funeral is more like a performance，or opera which is easier to be understood to Europeans. It has particular music，clothing，chapters，actions. The family and neighbours gather together. At the first time，I didn't understand much about that and even resisted some of the customs，but as time went by I think all those performance at the funeral has evoluted centuries，it brings the weight of death to all the family members. Some descendants hasn't seen the great grandmother for quite a long time or even never seen her before，the funeral might lead them to know the status of the great grandma in the family，the funeral may carve a mark of the elder in the memory. Modern life may wash off most of the ancient time marks but some we should never forget.

Thank u for sharing. Indeed it’s a time where Chinese mourn n go through the grieving process n learn to let go their loved ones who hv passed on. Condolences to Yonghong family n u for the lost, may yr maternal grandma rest in peace 🙏🙏🙏

Thank you for sharing that. I only heard about these week long rituals from my mother, and her brothers and sisters, these glimpses you share helps enrich those memories, especially many of those uncles and aunts are no longer with us. It is so true that in modern city life, we gave up on so much about our humanity in the name of progress. Makes me wonder we are indeed progressing or actually going backwards.

Thank you so much for sharing such a unique experience. 👍

Oh Miriam! Just cried... beautiful summary of death process

Miriam, thank you so much for sharing your experience of a Chinese funeral. So much to think about! Here in the west I find it really strange how we act as those death is not going to happen, in North America we don't say that people have died - we say they have "passed" or "passed on" as if "death" or "died" is a bad word. I cannot imagine us having our coffins in our homes! (I should have one now, in that case, as I am in my late 60s!) I think different cultures have taught us a lot, and you have shared some important aspects of the Chinese funeral you participated in that are worth considering. I look forward to watching the full funeral video too. I hope things are going well in your travels!

Well done! One of a kind👍👏👌🙏🎈🌟

Thank you for the beautifully profound video Miriam.

Funeral rites and customs vary across China, even among the Han Chinese. What you see in your video is quite different from the scenes in, say, Fijian or Anhui. In some regions, mourners still wear sackcloth, others plain white, others black, etc. If the deceased had died when touching 100, the mourners actually wear red in Fujia. There are some common practices, such as the desire to die at home, prayers, wakes, etc.

This is a nice piece with good insights. Thank you for sharing! As I could glimpse from the writings on some of the funeral "paperwork", the funeral seems to be led by Daoist priests (or other ritual experts); it would have been great if the audience learned a little bit more about these native Chinese religious aspects.

Thank you for sharing both videos. It was beautiful to witness the tradition and community of rural China.

The natives in Borneo Island where I live, the older ones also pre-buy their caskets and put them under the houses as they live on stilts houses call Long house

It is called “喜丧”-“Happy funeral “ when people die over 80 years old. Especially for people not suffering much before dying. The best would be they lived a happy life when they were alive with children’ love and caring.

Your observations and thoughts shared are much appreciated. Witnessing a Chinese funeral when I was young I mostly felt out of place and didn't want to participate in a ritual that reflected "superstition" or outward work to me. Now being older, I'm better able to respect people's choices and withhold judgment. We all want to be where we feel comfortable with. It's OK that we choose differently. When we pay respect, even an experience that's foreign to us can be beautiful.

Thank you, Miriam, for recording & sharing the cultural funeral. I too, prefer the more traditional funeral rituals. I believe they are important to young & old. Grieving together is important.

Beautiful reflections! Thanks

Thank you for this gentle and insightful observation of this family funeral. Not enough importance is placed on shared grieving and community in our modern societies. ❤

This is a great video from which I, as a Chinese living in the city, have learned a lot traditions and rituals about the rural areas in China.

This was a beautiful video and a great glimpse into a world I would have never otherwise seen and yet bares a resemblance to things I'm familiar with - after all, we're all human, and different cultures arriving at similar customs because they speak to the human needs we have makes sense -- though Jewish tradition leads with the funeral - emphasizing a quick burial, it is followed by seven days of the family staying home as the community gathers around them - bringing food, doing chores -- in fact the family is discouraged from even standing - they are meant to sit on low cushions that other people are invited to physically lower themselves to meet - the name for this is a pun on the number of days (seven) and the act of sitting - Shivah. Grief will not end quickly, no matter how much efficiency or remove we try to add. Thank you for your beautiful, powerful work, as always.

Excellent. Thank you

There are a lot of different funeral rites in Chinese custom.. If you go South like Guangdong or Hong Kong.. Funeral rites are towards either to Buddhist chanting by nuns and monks or performed by more complicated Tao religion that involves a few daoist or you may called them shaman in English language.. This type of rituals involved a lot music similar to this video but with more burning of paper houses... Paper cars and paper money for the deceased to use in afterlife.. These two types of Buddhist and daoist funeral rites can be used in the same funeral itself if the family wants to.. First day will be pure Buddhist chanting and second day could be the Taoist ritual.. This kind of practice is mostly seen in Chinese communities in South East Asian countries like Malaysia.. Singapore and taiwan..

A series of rituals to be performed during the funeral, crying is one of them.

Your narrative and video show me the funeral ritual in Northern China from a different perspective, even I thought about it when I attend my grandparents' funerals several years ago.

Thank you for showing us this ritual

Thanks for sharing These is Chinese way of expressing their grievances 🙏🙏🙏.

After seeing this video and seeing the previous video and your point of view it has given me an interesting perspective and questions about death and dying. The differences would be very different versus a large city! It is also different for us in Canada as Chinese Canadians. Generations having a different process and perspective.

Death serves as a reunion for people, and attending the funerals of your related ones can reveal the true essence of life. It emphasizes the significance of your family and friends. It's only in death that you are UNABLE to witness the full gathering of your loved ones ( 😔). So celebrate when you ALIVE 🙏

wow! Unexpectedly...saddened by d grandma's death but yr detailed explanation not only gives more understanding n knowledge that I as an overseas Chinese in South Sea not seen or heard of but my late parents ' funeral were more localised despite they were emigrants in d early 19th century. Any special rituals we should look into? Am also learning. Yes...d cries n mourning was deepened n of course different people, different cultures in different countries but we all know death is invitable...🙏🥲thanks again for your so well English spoken scripts, Miriam...I just couldn't get hold of yr swiss language

Very good presentation about funeral services in this culture. Sad but truthfully feeling episode.😢😊

In most of China the casket is known as a new home, so they prepare for it when they are alive it's like they are building their new home. If you speak to funeral directors here in North America they would say people in the west should think that way as well because the vast majority do not prepare for the cost of how much a funeral costs and it becomes a burden for the family and extended family. In large cities in North America the number of unclaimed bodies at hospitals is increasing annually even when there family members they will choose not to acknowledge they know the person simply because they can't afford to pay for the funeral arrangements and they let the city bury then in an unmarked city plot.

Thank you...... so much of this beautiful tradition makes logical sense, we have sanitized death in the western world when all of us should be more aware that we are mortal... that death too is a part of life that we should accept.... and that an understanding and compassionate community are what makes for healthier humans, not detachment.

So beautiful!

不同文化的巨大差异！佩服您的接受能力！

My deepest condolences

I never heard of scheduled crying…But it sorta makes some sense! It would make me keep it together to get things done, since I’ll know I’ll soon be able to let it all out. Once I’m done, it would also help my mind to see that time for grieving is over, and stop drowning myself in sorry… time to get on my feet and move on