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The original ideas of Alpha/Beta males were based on inaccurate observations of wolf pack dynamics (the person who coined the terms later recanted and corrected their mistakes). Instead, I choose to interpret anyone who calls themselves an "Alpha Male" by the definition from software development. Namely; they're buggy, unfinished, prone to crashing, and not even remotely ready to be seen by the general public.

you can just hear Crispy taking psychic damage when he gets to "asexuality is a scam" hope you took care of yourself after this one, man

Can definitely picture the last one being read word-for-word at a court hearing for a restraining order.

Me listening to the last story: "Boy this guy is weird.... what a freakin creep dude.... holy crap this dude has issues..... when does it end????..... please...... end...... HOW LONG IS THIS CHAT LOG!?!?!?"

I took psychological damage with that last one. I could legit hear the Minecraft damage noise with each sentence.

That final story is like those audio logs from BioShock where you discover the backstory of the villain and listen to them become increasingly deranged.

Honestly, that's a really benevolent guy. So willing to give that girl all of those last chances, despite having a perfect, genetically superior female to fall back on. Wow, we could all learn a thing or two from that pure alpha specimen, who probably doesn't advocate for eugenics.

That was the longest string of inceldom I have ever heard, the thought that this guy still has posting ability and the capability of sending messages will keep me up at night

The " high value male " sounded like he was trying to delude himself into believing he was one as much as he was trying to convince op.

I- I pray for Crispy's brain after reading that "nice guys" message. even just hearing him I physically cringed hard

That last story dealt massive cringe damage just to listen to. OP if you read this, never contact that creep again. Nothing good will ever come from him. And warn every single person who they are.

Ouch I could feel the physical pain and disappointment in Crispy's voice when he read "asexuality is a scam."

If the DM in the second story didn’t want Jack to use the ability, why did he even let him take it in the first place? What a jerk.

"I'm willing to poison my bloodline with your curse" The Incel is literally Loathsome Dung Eater.

I had an incel at my table once, when I was a young and naive DM. This story mentions an attempt of abuse, so be careful. I posted an add for a LMoP game on a Facebook group aboyt three years ago. Three people commented and messaged me to say they were super interested. They were all friends and, although a bit weeb-ish, were cool people. We had session 0 and the characters were Rogue, Cleric and Fighter. We had fun, but the encounters were pretty tough so I decided to let someone else join, the Incel. I was just going for a first-come-first-serve kind of mentality and just asked the player what they wanted to play and they replied "a Wizard". All was good, until session 1. Shortly after introducing his character to the party, Incel decided that attacking said party was a good idea, using the Catapult spell to throw supplies from the cart they delivered to Phandalin. I allowed it, unfortunately, but he stopped once the party literally downed him with 2 attacks. He was mostly annoying and a bit disruptive, but nothing too serious. I did ask the group if they wanted to give him another chance or if I should kick him, they voted for a second chance. Enter session 2. Incel began making rogue uncomfortable, nothing sexual but he was being annoying. He kept on with shenanigans, trying to romance every female NPC, to which I just roleplayed them being uninterested and Rogue helping move things along. Then he decided to hit on the rogue, to which she shut down immediately. Things were very uncomfortable, but they still wanted me to give him a chance and I reluctantly agreed. Session 3, the final straw. After talking to Incel, he agreed to tone it down so we could have fun. We started to play and everything was going okay, although he kept being a bit obnoxious. The characters made their way down a cellar where bandits were hiding, knocked a few out, killed others, it was working out well. Rogue refused to engage with Incel, but she worked well with cleric and fighter. Incel made stupid decisions during combat, but wasn't being an actual detriment to the party, so I allowed it. UNTIL... During combat, one of the bandits rolled a nat 1 on his attack, so I thought it'd be funny to have him slip and fall face down, ass up. Oh, I thought wrong. Incel immediately declared he wanted to "r@p3 the bandit" . We all froze, non of us knew how to respond to that. After a few seconds I snapped and said "No, dude, you can't do that. The bandit's a dude too", to which he replied "so what? I want to fuck the bandit while HE'S down". Everyone stepped in at this moment to support me and say no, we ended combat, finished early and I kicked him out of the group after telling him to please go to therapy. After I kicked him out, I decided to do some snooping around his Facebook and oh, I discovered what an Incel was. It was bad, to say the least, so I'm glad I could remove a person like that from my table and everyone's life. I decided to never run games for total strangers ever again. I always do interview first and then hand-pick my players.

I refuse to believe that last story is real. It hits every single cliche as if checking off a list

Story 1 - NTA James is a gross creep and this is OP’s house and game. They are allowed to not invite or allow other people over. Girlfriend needs to realize this.

I think my brain shut down out of pure survival instinct with that love confession. Holy crap!

So that last one(if indeed real). That guy is going to be or already is a serial killer right? I mean we're all in agreement. No way is there isn't a few dead animals under his floor boards.

"This is his "confession" of love..." You sure? Reads more like a confession of multiple bodies in his basement and closet.

That "confession" made me physically ill and filled me with an unyielding rage. Dudes like this need to get off the internet, touch some grass, and get hit with a dose of reality. Men like that think they are good, high value, etc. but they are anything but, and unfortunately, the only way some will see this is if it hits em full force with no subtlety. Anyone that talks about disciplining and ordering people around needs to be knocked down. Edit: Ok, I wrote that in the heat of my anger while listening to this, but this dragged out so long I can NOT see this as anything but satire. If that dude is serious, he doesn't get my anger, but my pity...ok still some anger

Story 4, “Market Value” Story - The moment I heard “sweetheart”, I felt my eye twinge. “Sweetheart” and “lovely” are one of those things strangers should never, EVER call a woman… EVER. It’s too much of an endearment to be thrown around. I hate this incel already and I am on the FIRST line. (Keeps Reading and gets to “females) nope. Nope. Nada. You do not use females as a noun. You do not call someone “a female” and not sound like a creep. “I want to see your stomach s with my seed” I think my stomach just emptied out of its lunch.

That last story, seriously WTF?! It's kinda hard to believe that that guy is real. I really hope he gets arrested or something to just keep girls away from him.

that last one.. i could feel my brain cells dying. also “i need to talk to him, alpha to alpha” made me cackle, i can’t take people who say that stuff seriously

One thing I agree with the “alpha” on, that woman doesn’t deserve this

Hold on with the World of Darkness: Hunter story! Abilities like the "seeing auras" thing the op had cost Willpower, which is kinda like inspiration points, to use. If you run out of Willpower, you are physically and mentally drained, taking penalties on all rolls. The abilities of the Lucifuge, Castignations, not only cost Willpower, but often either need a blood sacrifice, taken from HP, or they can seriously mess up the character's morality/sanity. The DMPC simply could not just spam Gaze of Pentience like that without ending up an absolute wreck afterwards.

Crispy, are you okay? That end rant was truly harrowing and listening to you narrate it was like watching someone punch themselves into unconsciousness. I hope you gave yourself some aftercare after all that!

I think i lost brain cells on reading that last story, By Odin's Beard that was horrendous

Gaze of penitent does not work that way, first of all it costs WIllpower to activate, you need a piece of the person, it is waivered if the target has done one of the Deadly Seven Sins, which Jack did not do, also if the Caster critically fails, they spell is bounced back on the caster

That last guy was utterly terrifying. Everytime I feel like I'm up to start dating again I see something like that and figure I can deal with being single and not dealing with scary-crazy for another year.

1st story - if there is no possibility of success, dice should not be rolled. If not letting the player roll seems unfair, then rethink the scenario.

That last story was a real rollercoaster. It started cringe, then went into sad, and ended on hilarious. It still baffles me people like this actually exist with these opinions. It's also amazing people can have this long of a conversation with themselves and the insecureties in their heads

Took massive psychic damage on that Raid shadow legends advert. Oh well, gotta take a long rest later.

I was cleaning while listening to this video, and the dead cockroaches I was cleaning up were less disgusting than the last story. Thanks Crispy for the video! It's always interesting to listen to some DnD horror stories!

I really hope that incel letter to his "love" (ew) is a parody. I REALLY hope that, but I am unfortunately certain it's real. I've met too many guys who would actually write something like this.

Yup. I am a female and asexual. Told my friend/DM when I was just coming to terms with it. He proceeded to confess his love for me. I still don't like being around the dude alone.

The confession just killed at least 40% of my brain cells

That last story genuinely caused me pain, like I need to go and grab a drink after that one, and a shower.

with that last story - I honestly didn't think those types of people existed. I mean, the overall lack of self-awareness is both fascinating and terrifying.

He "ordered" her to move in with him? The sheer amount of gall on this guy is staggering, to think he can just order a random woman to move in with him and be his submissive little broodmare.

Dear lord that last story

Healing Word is perfect as it is.

The worst part about the last one is that I legit can't tell if it's fake or not. Because there are actually guys out there that are unironically that cartoonishly weird

The last story had me going "and he *keeps* going?" In horror so many times, oh my god

Laughed out loud at the "I understand having an attachment to a significant other .... well I mean I don't get it, but..." Edit: Had to stop that last story multiple times. DEAR GOD that was A LOT.

I'm surprised that my eyebrows didn't fly off my face at the Incel. Sweet gibbly giblets

The opener bothers me way too much. I'm currently playing a cleric and in one fight, I used my last spell slot to healing word our barbarian and risked 2 opportunity attacks running to feed my last potion to our downed druid.

Second story: The DM is a prat and the players should have just ditched the game then and there. If a DM's response to the player succeeding at overcoming an obstacle is "WELL I MAKE YOU FAIL BECAUSE I CAN" they can and will do it against anyone they decide to go against.

Story 1: I do think op could have been more upfront with the problem player's behavior when his gf asked, though maybe that's just my lack of social experience showing. Story 4: "I've got a different personality and a great scene of humor" you got that right, I'm running out of air I'm laughing so much. 🤣

WOW. That's not a red flag. That's a Marvel-quality beacon of glowing red light projecting out into the cosmos.

I feel like I had an intellect devourer tear at my brain during the last one. What the hell is wrong with those people? In that entire time the girl did not say a single thing and he just goes nuclear. Also what does that guy think women work like? It is not like cinderella where the clock strikes midnight and the chariot turns into a pumpkin. The hell?

That last man needs to be put on some type of watchlist I honestly fear for any woman that comes into contact with him

Last story left me speechless. How insane and desperate can you get?

I couldn’t get through 5 minutes of the confession without cringing

That last one... The best thing I can say is that he displayed all the red flags immediately. Jesus Christ... Also, I'll bet a hundred bucks that the dude is lying about finding someone "better."

"mArKEt VaLUe" Wow, that last guy speedran 5-7 years of a toxic abusive relationship in like, hours. He clipped through the floor. He cranked the Alpha slider so high it buffer overflowed into the Beta slider.

There's... no way that "confession" one is real...

That last story would make for a top-tier copypasta

The sheer insanity of that 'Alpha' was so mind boggling. He was definitely a 'nice guy' but he absolutely not a good person, the fact that he managed to claim she saw him as sub-human and then claim he was in fact the master in the same sentence shows his utter lack of self awareness. I'd worry for people like that if I could help them, but they don't think they need help sadly...

I love when you do the "incel" voice. I was CRACKING up laughing. It definitely made my car ride home a lot better

I had to stop the last story like 20 times to laugh. This level of Incellnes is ridiculous... And a question, did anyone else feel a not nessecarily Nazi but Arian vibe? (with the blue eyes, blonde hair and the German comment)?

Y'know, the long string of inceldom seems so over the top that it feels it could be fake, but at the same time its so over the top and so long and has so much dedication put into it that I have no other choice but to believe its real.

Market value. That last one had to be a wind-up, right? Nobody would actually send that muck un-ironically, right?

That last "story" which was the series of messages from the Incel was utterly horrifying. At first i tried to keep count of all the red flags but i quickly lost count in stunned disgust. if red flags were a drinking game criteria, this one story would send you into a blackout.

The last part, the "love letter" made me think of a modern version of Claude Frollo from Hunchback of Notre Dame. But with less balls, at least Frollo burned an entire town to show his madness over his horniness for the girl.

So.. this is what psychic damage feels like.

When you started reading that sheer descent into insanity at the end all I could think of was how I’d respond if some guy spoke to me like that. The fact that she just ignored him all the way through showed an impressive amount of self restraint - there’s so much to unpack there, most people would want hell. I sure would. Idiot straight up ended up trolling himself by replying to silence though. Just goes to show sometimes that ignoring someone can be the most powerful thing you can do.

that last one made me physically ill, thanks crispy

Today I learned something: The mind can indeed vomit.

With every incel's proclamation in this space I grow closer to annihilating them on sight. Especially since I plan on DMing in the future.

That confession is torture, made my skin crawl. I was begging you to

I'll just assume that the last story is a fake/parody copypasta. (like the Navy Seals-guy) It's too absurd, comical and far off reality to consider being real. I really hope it is.

Is it weird I'm getting jafar vibes from the from the story about the long winded love confession

That last one, that "confession" made me almost recoil away from my computer, there's so many red flags on that post I'm surprised I could even see it on the screen and I think I could smell the desperation through it too. Just.....Wow, is hard to believe that people like this exists but at the same time I really shouldn't be the least bit surprised when I see posts like this with it seemingly becoming more and more common.

If I told a player that their partner had sexually harassed someone at the game and their response was to slag me off behind my back I would immediately uninvite them from the game and explain that I don't play with people who enable sexual harassers. Jessica's boyfriend can't come round if Jessica's not coming round

This is the best oration of a copy pasta I have ever had to witness. And It’s absolutely beautiful.

So, I've never really been interested in dating. I've had like 2 dates years ago and that's about it. And one of the reasons why I don't bother dating is because I keep thinking it's difficult. But then you have stories like that last one which make me think that it can't be that hard. I may be socially awkward but not socially imcompetent like the incels and nice guys(tm).

Out of everything that i've read, that confession is easily one of the most toxic, controlling, narcissistic thing written. It just spirals deeper and deeper, idk what is below the Mariana trench but this has made it there and gone even deeper.

That last guy hurt my soul on so many levels, I get that he’s lonely and he can’t understand why but if he just took 1 actual second to look at the shit he says and dare imagine that someone saying that to him it could click that he’s pushing everyone away. But that moment of self reflection will never come and he’ll keep pushing everyone away.

The voices you do for some of these are such a joy to listen to!

Honestly with the last guy if I were her I'd just ask him "who are your friends, because only betas whine and yowl this much, and betas always find an alpha to hide under"

Listen, I understand you had to suffer through reading that last one... But did we have to suffer wi- you know what, yeah. We love you, and we will follow you into the cringe.

I feel like the last guy should be in prison,or some list for real,legit thought its april fools joke at the start

"don't bring him around again." "but you're ok with everyone else's SOs?" "yes" /end of dialog/

I refuse to believe that the last one is real. I don't even care if it is, I don't think I can live with even the slightest possibility that it is. Reality can be whatever I want it to be

As a woman.... that last one made me physically ill. That is the first time in my life that I've actually gagged just from hearing words.... and I used to be a medic so disgusting topics usually don't phase me in that fashion.

The last guy needs a restraining order against him. *shudders in disgust*😫😬

Wow i just saw you reached 20k on your channel. Great Job :D Really love your Voices for the characters.

i literally heard my ears ringing with that cringe with the incel rant

Jacks player should of refused and mocked the gm til the gm gave up or called the game.

I have to say as much as I detest censorship on youtube, the way you handle it is uniquely great. No ear-rape BEEEEPs and leaving the text unmolested. Kudos!

"I am the nicest and most caring man you will ever meet" Not in a million years is that true. Clearly, the opposite is true.

...Sweet Lord. That "Gentleman" in the love confession. Words that don't begin to describe. Also, Crispy, that sigh when you read "Asexuality is a scam." I feel you, my man.

Incels hurt my soul. If you think women are so inferior just like, date each other, keep yourselves out of our lives.

Jesus the final storry felt like it was never gonna end

"MARkeT VAlue", my Uterus shriveled up and died listening to that story.

I call fake on that last one. It has to be. Right? OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TELL ME IT'S A FAKE!

You think it's going to stop at some point but it Just. Keeps. Going.

If I were that girl from the last story I'd take those screenshots and file for a restraining order as well as email them to the "nice guy's" place of work. If he makes 6 figures they may want to know the personality of someone representing their company.