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mike writing resurrecting the op's sorceror into his characters' backstory was an unexpected yet wholesome resolution to that whole mess

Horror Story: "Won't be doing double damage because he wants to have fun too." Me watching the video: "Just give the troll more health!"

I would have "accidentally" spilled a drink in DM's lap and "forget" to bring him cookies. She was too nice to him.

Shoutout to Mike from Story 3, for later having a plotline about reviving "a long lost friend", in reference to OP's character. That is so freaking sweet that I audibly "d'aww"-ed when I heard that. Platonic love is something that should be celebrated more.

"...better in the hands of someone who can use it right." Oh, I'm terribly sorry! I thought it was for making crème brûlée. Do forgive me. Joking aside, I hate the weird boy's club, gatekeeping crap some people like to pull with...well, anything really.

I'd call him out. Like: "Uhm this organizatrion is Heavily in my backstory, there's no way I would not know them."

Sexist DM: "she's doing too well. Imma kill her character just so she can't continue." (Clearly he has no idea how to enjoy properly and responsibly. Op imo should have kicked him in particular out)

NEVER make a PC a sex toy/slave without the player's prior permission. My hubby ran a campaign where one player kept making broken characters that didn't fit the setting, so he offered him one of the NPCs to play. It was a throw away, and just a bit of background color, but he ran with it. His character was now a sex bot with memory issues dressed/skinned as a Princess Leia look alike. Player was thrilled. Doesn't work for everyone.

"be more like mike everyone" advice for every day life even outside of DnD

Hi. Oh my God. Thank you for reading my post. I'm Shiva_Goddess (My KZfaq name is different cause it's an old account) Been subbed for a while and when I saw this vid I was like " Cool new vi- IS THAT MY POST?!" So yeah. That really made my day. Thank you Crispy, if I could, I'd bake a batch for you! And people in the comments, you guys are cool too. Made me smile today.

Nat 1 on deception in a nutshell: Op: we should have completed this 86 sessions ago. Dm: wHAt? MyeTA gAyMInG?! Op: none of use find this fun. Dm: then you need a new definition of fun, I'm following everything to the T. Op: no you're not

For Story 4, it sounds like the DM was bullying OP for kicks, cuz "wahmen bad"

My problem as a DM has been a monk I couldn't damage. She got cursed with lycanthropy and I gave her a lot of the traits RAW out of the Monster Manual. The immunity to mundane weapon damage imbalanced most of my encounters. More magical enemies have since solved that problem.

Story 4: Standard rule - if you play at someone's house, it's assumed that all people who are old enough to play are welcome at the gaming table. If you don't want play with specific people, don't play at their house.

Ok but samurai robo helicopter mom sounds like a hella fun and creative character idea, why the dm wanted to railroad away from that is beyond me

The DM for the "Nat 1 on Deception" story seems to be trying their best to halt the progression of the campaign. Withholding plot hooks and removing plot relevant NPCs will only hurt the game and interest. Every player needs to get out of that limbo.

I actually had a similar idea about a warforged doll maid, largely inspired by the Doll from Bloodborne but my idea had her be a rogue with an emphasis on disguise, blending in with servants and staff and a lot of pointy things hidden under that large skirt of hers.

Just gonna say, the last stiry and the whole “dm forces this vision onto a character” is something I myself went through. Not in a perverse way like that, but rather the dm twisted the idea I had made; and tricked me into going along with it because I was not aware how big an impact this would have both thematically and mechanically. PF1e. I was a Half Orc Cleric of Sarenrae with the Fire and Healing domains. I built myself from level 1 to have high-ish hp, being able to tank hits, dish it out with my trusty silver scimitar and fire spells, and provide healing when it became needed as an emergency. Even had feats that provided some fire damage to my crits, or a tiny bit of healing and a +1 to an attacj roll when I cast fire spells. No feats or traits outside the Healing domain for my healing spells and support. Well, we were kicking ass and taking names, and I had an issue in game hit for a while. Several stacked and I decided my cleric needed a brief respite at a church to repurpose his faith, due to various BS rulings by the DM. Up to this point, I had played my character as a bit of a nervous, helicopter parents Mom Friend outside of fights, who would go ape shit and leave a trail of blood and ash in his wake if something awful happened DURING a fight (including watching a fellow player get cursed to be a skeleton-like creature, skin and organs literally melting to the ground around him. I crit that next attack, and I always joked from very early that the dice responded to my character’s emotional state, as when he got very protective and angry, he crit. A lot). Well, the dm decided to drop “an idea” to me. Angelfire Apostle archetype. It SOUNDED good thematically, a few minor buffs I could use outside of fights and a later ability that sounded interesting. I however didn’t realize, this archetype is a known Trap Playstyle in the Pathfinder community, until months later. This actually weakened what I was building towards, including needing to sell off several items of mine just to get armor I could actually wear (no more medium armor, only light armor allowed). This led to a host of issues (including multiple deaths I wont go into) with the new buffs paying off only ONE time (when a player got paralyzed by a massive plant, and I was able to cast a spell to remove it from 30ft away, even withkut it prepared). 1 time, in 5 ir 6 months of playing this archetype. The final straw for this character came because I was, again, killed, and got an “afterlife mission” which I did good on, sticking to the personality I had portrayed from session 1. The reward? A book that did 3 things. 1: A +2 to Saving throw dcs of spells that don’t cause damage. 2: The loss of the above benefit if I ever do any harm (even non-lethal) to ANY humanoid (most of our enemies at this point have been humanoid with a small arc of fighting some Undead). 3: Any ally who harms or kills a Helpless Humanoid within 10 miles suffers a -1 Penalty to all D20 rolls for 24 hours. If they do so again in this time span, the penalty increases, and the timer resets, with no limit to the cumulative penalty. So, basically, I was being made to be a pure support who happened to be a but fire resistant, who had to never let the party harm or kill anything (even if they were CE and had butchered millions just for the lulz), or else not only would the dm (or “my goddess” that the dm “kept talking too”) strip away ALL my cleric abilities outside of weapon and armor proficiencies, but I’d be a huge burden to a oarty that had only survived a couple fights by grappling, pinning, tying up, and coup de grace’ing the big enemies (about half of whom were humanoids that nearly tpkd us).

Mike a true MVP from that 2nd story IMO. Kinda wonder if he could ever revive her in some fashion or not.

That first story lol. "When the DM is a murder hobo"

Wow. Kid's parents never told him "no" in his life.

Best option: Never trust your Dm with your story (unless proven they are responsible with it.) Give the DM your story. Let them work it into their story but don’t allow them to alter/add to it in anyway unless you let them.

Honestly, I kinda like the idea of a sex robot being repurposed to a guardian. But in a "glorified toy evolving to a hero" way and not a "she has naughty bits" way. Either way, it doesn't matter cuz the OP told that dip shit NOT to do that, but the dip shit did it anyway.

I mean, the NPC could have been lying about the maid's origins, or he could have not known and made assumptions. But it definitely sounds like the DM just wanted to do HIS story and was giving lip service to the PCs motivations, at best.

As someone who’s ace and has played in a Ravnica campaign, honestly the demon orgy isn’t that odd. Doesn’t excuse everything else that happened, though lol

I would bring in the cookies each on their own little plate, and place them in front of each player with a smile... but not the DM. Then just smile and say "I thought they would be better in the hands of people who would enjoy them. We've already spent enough time on you, just play." Then take the extras into my room so DM couldn't get one from the kitchen. But then again, I can be a petty b***h.

It's a shame always hearing these horror stories about people horribly mishandling sexual themes in their games. I'm a fan of pulpy fantasy, Red Sonja-kind of barbarians, and to have spicey stuff in games (though, actual detailed description of full-on sex scenes would probably be too awkward for me), but obviously you have to do this with the consent and knowledge of everyone in the playing group and making sure that everyone knows what they're getting into. Naturally, good luck finding online groups of people who are mature enough to handle these things and understand their boundaries even in sexually related stories or story parts.

The demons are doing WHAT? Oh wait, it's Ravnica. Yeah that sounds about right.

Idea: if a monster would die in one hit on the first turn, don't *actually* make it die, but let it turn into something akin to Persona 5's "All-Out Attack" where just for funsies everyone else gets to pull off whatever powerful opener attack they wanted to do and then let it die in adequately cinematic fashion once the party's turns are ended.

As a baker I want to slap that DM in that second story.

Just running through the timestamps I can already tell this is going to be one hell of an episode

We have a game where two parties were in a simultaneous campaign and met up. There are five players and 9 player characters in that group. We've been trying to find a reason to split them up for a year. Also: the mega party just got to one of my character's home, his backstory is connected to another of my characters and I've been developing them for five years. The DM had me sum up my backstory notes and send them over, instead of creating characters. They needed a character that fit an achetype, I gave them the name and relation. And now my emotionally stunted ranger is having an existential crisis. lol

I'm surprised the one girl's boyfriend didn't see any issue with the situation.

"How do you use it wrong?" Moer to the point "All three shots hit, one of which is a crit, and I roll high damage" How was she using it wrong? Sounds like she was using it really well.. but hey we know that this DM is a misogynist already so you apparently use it wrong by not having a built in wand.

man that's such a good Warforged concept too! You don't see as many fem-Warforged either. Real shame to have that idea reduced to THAT by the DM.

Imagine being angry that a sorcerer got a wand of scorching ray. That boyfriend should have called the DM out on his abuse, at the very least when the session was over, and they could talk properly. A Goblin arrow isn't going to straight up kill anyone, even a d6 health sorcerer, unless her health was very low at that point, or it rolled a crit with max damage twice.

The last story should of just been him getting up and leave because its quite obvious what kind of person the DM is.

I have to admit, combat maids are awesome and could potentually make for some interesting character interaction...assuming the game wasnt serious and everyone was on board. That DM sounds like the sort of twat who'd get bent out of shape over a dude playing a female character. It genuinly astounds me how some people can act that way as if guys and gals cant all play the same games and have fun together. OK, that character sounds awesome. Now how does it get ruined? Shes a freaking ROBOT! I mean, sexy robot maids are fine, but keep that to spank material. Huh...thats...not as bad as I was expecting honestly.

Pumpkin chocolate chip is the best cookie

The player in that last story had an interesting idea. It's too bad the D.M. shoved it firmly off the rails.

I was a fourteen-year-old boy once. Can confirm, I did set fire to multiple orphanages.

You know, I've been DMing for 25 years now. Some of these stories hurt. I'd love to run a game for the people who have these experiences.

Yeah that DM who took the woman's cookies and the now ex boyfriend need to get the serpent and the rainbow treatment.

Is someone keeping a tally of the amount of times Crispy has crashed because of random straight bullshittery? I feel like there should be a record for posterity.

The new intro is really so good! Totally sets the mood!

The demon's are doing WHAT?!

Story number 2 the epitome of "Tell us you're an incel without saying you're an incel"

"There's no way a newbie can roll that good" He's so right. Everyone knows that the numbers you get in dice rolls aren't random, and are purely a skill that you learn through experience. It's just part of the game! Yeah, it sucks when you're a new player like me and only know how to pick up dice and set it down with the number 1 on the top, but everyone has to go through that at first!

The demons are doing WHAT?!

You know KZfaq censorship is getting out of hand when "emotionally abusive" has to be censored.

Okay Warforged maid was a cool idea TBH

Love your videos. Whenever I'm bored, I play one. It's just nice listening to you talk, and watching your videos has helped me be a better player and dm. I'm glad to see your channel growing so fast. You deserve it. The amount of content you put out is pretty astounding. Thanks for the oodles of effort.

I may get annoyed when/if my players kill a monster too fast. But I also celebrate the players when they do pull something like that off as a cool moment for their character. Because I know I have all the power in the game. If I really wanted to kill the characters, I could stack the encounter and make it overwhelming. But I'm not an A-hole DM.

Woah, baking is totally harder than GMing! That guy doesn't bake.

Well that dm is a jerk mike was cool beans

I think the best solution to players killing monsters too quickly is to run more complex encounters. Gnolls hiding in the trees as they bombard the party with arrows, a battle through a veritable minefield of traps, that sort of thing.

As a DM, if someone offers me food, especially home made, I consider it bribery which I'm cool with.

I think the DM should have said no. It would have been understandable because having a player invite people to play without consulting the DM so they can adequately prepare for it or even decide how many players they want to run for is unfair. Sometimes though it can be hard because players who never DMed before don't get it and will argue and blame the DM for being unreasonable. The DM here obviously did the worst possible thing though.

There were so many better things that could have been done with the Warforged maid, like it turned out that the assassins had intercepted the orders for the commission and altered her programming to act as a sleeper agent for them, but for some reason it didn't work. But that explains why she has skills beyond that of a maid and why she's able to protect her charge and opens up the hook of why the reprogramming didn't entirely stick.

Me party kills the big bad troll in one hit, oh no now the goblins it was directing are attacking everything including one another with absolute panic and abandon. Re-role initiatives

Bad GMs are bad.

Sounds like that DM is quite the incel.

Violence is rarely ever the solution.... unless someone is in your house being rude to your partner. In that situation a violent act of defenestration is 100% the solution. If you don't feel like replacing a window an Uncle Phil yeeting is also acceptable.

That last one reminds me of my dm who was running ravnica and wouldn't let me play a loxodon rogue without all my stealth being at disadvantage

15 people sounds like 3 groups of four with 3 gms to me. lmao.

In the campaign I'm currently playing in I accidentally made a paladin that's a bit on the invincible side. Despite that my GM has NEVER taken away abilities or nerfed my character in any way. He will cheer when something rolls well enough to hit him because it almost never happens, but that's kind of to be expected.

Fifteen player game? Holy crap, you can't do much of anything with that many people.

Intro Story: Exactly what you said. The crit does enough damage to OHKO the monster? Not anymore! It does an insane amount of damage, and cripples it, but doesn't flat-out kill it, because a creature's max HP can be adjusted on the fly. The DM could've given it a status condition or something that weakened it to allow everyone else to attack it, then had it go, then the party could've finished it off, if he wanted so badly to keep the fight going more than half a round. Like, the DM could've had it so that the crit did massive damage to the slaad, causing it to lose its movement or reaction or limiting it to only performing a single action on its turn, but it isn't dead to give the other players a chance to hit it; the amount of damage they deal doesn't matter, but they still get to perform their attacks. Then once the first round of combat ends, the DM assigns a number of HP, possibly its max, to the creature, and if they manage to do that amount of damage to it before its next turn, the monster dies; if they don't, the character that goes before the creature kills it regardless of how much HP it has remaining. It may waste some resources on an already-dead monster, but if the DM's monsters dying before they get to even act isn't fun for him, that's a possible solution to his problem.

I really like the new intro!

The Dumbgeon Monster in the last story sounds more like a 15 yo boy than a neckbeard. I guess that's what happens when you play the game designed for the Lowest Common Denominator; there are just too many bad legacy players and DMs who have no real TTRPG experience.

Our DM loves it when we do big damage, Hell he even shows us some broken stuff to encourage some weird character builds

I finally got any use of my Player's handbook to look up the scorcing ray. Yay!

I think there’s a percentage of players who want a ttrpg but don’t realize they don’t want dnd. If you want disempowered characters, try call of Cthulhu.

The demons are dancing like Michael Jackson so they can avoid Constantine.

Anytime my players get a lucky roll and SLAUGHTER my enemies I get a little excited ngl... And those let me prepare my actual Big Bosses with countermeasures. But even then...when they win they win and they love it and I love seeing their joy

Story 1 - Don’t nix a nat 20. Just… add some extra HP to your bosses… .> .> No one will knoooooow.

89 damage with a 4th level Inflict Wounds is CRAZY- considering that the average damage of 12d10 is 66. Maybe your DM thought you were cheating

Yeah, I'd straight up tell my DM that I was responsible for the backstory NOT them.

"Do I get angry when my players does alot of damage" One time actualy, we were playing a SW rpg (official no 5e) and 2 of my players told me that if they can have thermal detonadors, I did allow them (it was my first DMing and I was still new with the system) the thing was that those granades did a crap tone of damage (4d10 + 5) most of my plan encounters were one shot until they ran out of them. In the secound sesión I did increase the dificulty and number of enemies. I down several of my players and kill 1 (I honest to god I thought they had more thermal) They were happy that I increase the dificulty still, and I was no shy of killing my players. After that third session the enconters were more balance they fought the BBEG and finish the campaing.

I might take the thumbnail as a faceclaim for a Wizzard. It looks good.

now that's an Idea for a curse, in the first story 'Nat 1 on Deception' all the NPCs turn hostile after the party tries and warn them, what if the BBEG had cursed the party so no one will believe them at any mention of BBEG, and all NPC's will become hostile.

Intro: I had something like that happen while running some people through the PF2e Beginner Box in an encounter with a giant spider (that’s not spoilers, anyone even vaguely genre-savvy can see it coming a mile off). They burned the webs, for which I had to improvise a reflex save for the spider which it failed, and then one of the PCs (who were custom made and not the pregens in the box) crit it with a shot from their Arquebus. And for those who haven’t read up on PF2e; an arquebus swaps out it’s d8 damage die on a crit for a d12, which is then doubled on the crit, and you then roll ANOTHER d12 of damage. I was laughing about it with them, though, as I narrated the spider essentially ceasing to exist as anything vaguely recognisable as a spider, being reduced to a large splatter of arachnid organs and goo, which I think also covered a couple of the other PCs.

oooh, i might yoink the maid-bot helicopter mom idea ;)

The demons are doing- what?!

Loving the new background! I had a question for you Crispy; What was the hardest part of your Dming? I want to Dm but I dont know where to start and Im a bit afraid of making the Monsters to weak or to strong.

First story, Stupid DM thinks D&D is DM vs Players.

You don't have to make the players feel bad by lowering their AC, damage or speed. You can just give more life to the monster (or a second stage, once they kill them make it turn into a zombie or make him scream for help before dying). Instead of lowering the AC you can give a +7 to the monster's attack. Or make the place big instead of making them slow. You turn it into them killing a very powerful monster instead of a frustrating battle.

It would have actually been hilarious if the demon... group hug could have been passed by just taking out a "demon bridge" to walk over them without disturbing them.

The maid idea sounded awesome, sad the DM ruined it.

I may have RPed with the DM who made all the NPCs hostile. In my case the guy admitted he liked A-hole characters and also was trying to basically railroad. Though he didn't use the word railroad. It basically ended the game as frankly the city he made was so awful even the kids didn't deserve being saved from the evil trying to take over.

First Story: I honestly don't know what DM is trying to do; I have no idea why they're trying to extend the length of the game. I think it's unintentional; he doesn't know how to run NPCs, and has made all of them absolute dicks, so now he can't run it back because that's the only way he knows how to play the NPCs, and has wound up ultimately screwing himself and the party over. I guess they can just get to the end, die, and then DM doesn't need to DM anymore. It's crazy that this person is so miserable being the DM, but doesn't want to give up the position for the sake of finishing the campaign. Like, it's crazy.

I like when my DMs take strong things players do in stride. Had a campaign playing a crit fishing paladin(daring, arent i?), and i would half HP some tough enemies when i crit, when not outright killing them. The DM and party were fine with it because in the grand scheme of things, i didnt do the most damage anyways. In the game im joining this week, i was very open that im going to min max my AC, since im an artificer playing as a tank. The DM is fine with it, so here comes 21 AC at level 2 :D. (For anyone wondering how, 14+2 AC from scale mail and dex, +1 from racial bonus, +2 from shield, for 19 ac at level 1. When i unlock artificer magic augment stuff, i can give my armor and shield both a +1, leading to 21 AC at level 2.)

First Time DM here running a campaign on stream (CplLimpDaddy on twitch if you're interested) and as a first-time DM, running my first campaign, taking on a 6-player party is freaking daunting... 14 players? idk how much experience you'd need to handle that. but it doesn't even sound fun, my players fear combat just because it slows down the game.

The demons are doing a what now? I love to listen these videos as I try to cope with my life.

To be fair I probably would’ve posted “the demons are doing what?!?!” anyways.

I have a lvl 14 PC Fighter with an Efrieet scimitar do over 200+ damage in a single turn (I ruled the weapon to be two handed since it was forged for large creatures; and between x3 attacks, action surge, Great Weapon Master, and the many d6s of damage: shit happens) I applaud my players when they are efficient against enemies. It just means I'll have to plan better the next time

I'm not saying I'd break up with boyfriend over dnd but I wouldn't forget it. But I'd absolutely kick DM out my apartment, the balls to disrespect the host.

I had a character kinda like that warforged once. She was an advanced war robot modeled like a Japanese schoolgirl, with a middle school personality and impulse control. She crashed a session by abandoning the really vague plot hook to go to the mall and see Twilight. We all loved Kiki. Shame this DM had to be a dick about it.

Regarding the intro: As a DM i think the scenario is just fun. The player feels great for doing something so powerful, and it will make a fun story how anticlimatically the fight ended. If I am concerned about such things, I will probably add some sort of phase 2 to the fight. An example would be after killing the boss, his ghost would appear and attack, since it refused to enter the afterlife. There are tons of folklore and mythology regarding spirits simply refusing to leave the world after death, so a lot of things can be done here.