@@thesnowman7715 I understand this feeling. My dogs have kept me going the last 10 years and sometimes I wonder what happens when I lose them, what reason could there be to hang around when ending it seems so appealing? So then I thought, how can I be better for them in the meantime, just another month, just another year. Knowing I always have the option to leave, can I find anything which makes it less miserable in the meantime? What I found was in fact plenty of reason to keep going til the end. If you are interested in what I found, it was a spiritual awakening journey. It all started with watching near death experiencer interview after interview (Next Level Soul is a good KZfaq channel for these).. which held my curiosity long enough to take me out of myself and really examine things, explore and imagine, then study and experiment, and ultimately, experience so much more to life. Sir, this choice is yours and yours alone, and that is a blessing of immense power. The truth is that this same power is available to us as we live our lives, to start identifying less with our circumstances, traumas, ego, and everything else we think we are. May you rediscover yourself.

Reality is, this kind of depression is a demon you cannot defeat. It will always be there and eventually... get you. However, you're still well aware that the only right thing to do is to continue on, as far as you can go. It doesn't feel great to continue fighting, but it pays up someway. At least I heard from someone that hearing this helps.

⁠​⁠​⁠@@thesnowman7715same here, I’m 18 but when I was in 2nd grade around 2012, I drew a picture of me on top of a building about to jump off. I have never heard of people killing themselves at that age I don’t think. But I was able to feel such immense sadness and loneliness, to have a thought like that at 8 years old. The past 4 years I have had depression and suicidal thoughts on/off. I’m also autistic. I feel broken a lot of times. Anyways, Best of luck to you dude 👍

I felt like this for 23 years and had my first suicidal thoughts when I was 17. Tried to take my life when I was 28/29 and failed. After that things started to get better but now aged 40 and back to were I started. I don’t how much more I can carry on with this pain. My Mum is difficult and toxic and is very ill, which my family have made allowances for but still treat us like crap. My career has gone down the toilet after bad experiences and have no one I can confide in. I’m incredibly lonely and feel I have nothing to live for now. That things will never get better or I can’t get out of this toxic environment. Either way I’m trapped. So I’m serious considering it

​@@rebeccayeatesmakeupI'm sorry to hear that, I know that I'm a stranger so my words might not mean a thing, but I can see how strong you are. I really admire you for that resilience. I will wish for the days to become brighter and happier for both of us.

Keep going!

@@Jaethedonttv0why?

Or at least have the ideation. Better to not have. "David Benetar" and God in Ecclesiastes 3:1-3

​@@oabh1808you made a lot of assumptions, most are wrong. Check yourself

​@@oabh1808Yeah, for some people, pain is not temporary.

Are you sure his family never knew? In my experience at least some or one family member or a friends would have heard from the person that they are very depressed and even suicidal but often the family downplay it and then seem shocked when the person does commit suicide.

Agree. My youngest brother always knows whenever I am depressed. I can hide from everyone except him.

@@rosieposie9564 Your experience is not typical.

@@Chris-i0i0i0 I think it is. Deep depression tends to be hard to hide from anyone but the most insensitive of people. From what seriously depressed and the people who I know from my previous job who went on to die by suicide, they speak but the people around them do not really hear. Sometimes family/friends seem irritated or don't know how to react to deep depression and talk of suicide. Most who kill themselves tend to have been depressed for a very long time and are middle age by the time they succeed and by that time family/friends often become irritated by them overtly or covertly and the depressed person then feels like a burden but hardly ever is suicide just out of the blue and the depression not known to at least one person in the person's inner circle. There used to be a documentary called the Bridge (i think) on youtube that backs up my experience on this.

I lost my best friend to suicide and no one knew he ever thought about it. We were friends for 32 years. Men hide it very well and it is very common to lose someone to suicide and have no idea they would do such a thing. He had just turned 50 and had been promoted at work just prior to his death. I think about him every single day. It’s been 7 years now.

It's like chronic pain. It wears you down. Sometimes you can regenerate more quickly than it drags you down, sometimes you can't...

A lot of ppl will never get that

Like a weight always on you, especially when your the reason for your shitty existence

@@Olivia-WYes…

Agree 100%

It also helps to put things in perspective. Had they died of an illness or an accident, the sentiment would be to grieve, but eventually get over it. Especially when adults end themselves, well, they carry some responsibility. Also, check your own emotions: are they genuine? Or are you talking yourself into something here because you know that you are supposed to feel bad about it? Suicide usually doesn't just happen. There are things leading up to it. Has the person become more and more distant over the past, visited or called with decreasing frequency? Apparently that didn't bother you enough to do something about it, so why does their death bother you so much now?

@@Volkbrecht everyone knew how serious it was he had been put in a ward FOUR times. The command and his friends were at a loss. I spoke at hos memorial and said he had an illness that turned out to be terminal

​@@Volkbrechttell me you haven't lost someone to suicide without telling me you haven't lost someone to suicide. God, what a dreadful take. Has it occured to you that, like a disease, it goes beyond reason? My friend was fifteen when she killed herself. We did everything we could to get her help and guess what? She didn't want it. She resisted help (no matter what form it came in) every step of the way. Choosing to die by suicide or live is a choice only that person can make. Believe me, those left behind wish they could've made the choice for them to live. It's an excruciating form of loss, in particular because it's met with so much blame and apathy for those left behind (seen here in your comment). I hope it's a loss you never have to endure.

​​@@loganlabbe9767'm so sorry for your loss. You're absolutely right. It's a disease, and like any other disease it's not governed by fairness or love or reason. This is the same thing I will tell my daughter one day when she asks about the person she was named after. Also, your original comment gave me peace. My friend reminded me often she could end it whenever she wanted to. I struggled a lot at the time with not being 'a good enough reason' for her to stay. Today I'm grateful for the extra days I had with her. All we can do is our best. May they RIP. God bless

@@fff5572 yea I visited him in the ward before hand and begged and begged him to try living for just another couple months and he told me "some people are just meant to die" it sounds cruel but he was a genuinely good person and total sweetheart it just was too much for him in the end

63 here, I feel the same.

It isn't just always getting worse. Might feel that way but even if you reach a moment where there is no one to turn to, there will be another moment where you do have people to turn to. I thought about suicide, I am so glad I didn't act, because life got so much better. It wasn't instant, but it got better.

@@masonleite9504 I regret not killing myself when I was younger. Life has been one heart-wrenching betrayal after another. Enough is Enough.

@@malibudolphin3109 There's good people out there. I'm sorry you haven't been lucky but there are some people worth trusting out there.

@@malibudolphin3109 i know what you mean. just had a falling out with the last of my friends yesterday. over the past 4 years all the others dropped off after my girlfriend ran off with one of my friends when my mom was dying of cancer.. i posted something simple, a few word sentence on facebook about how aweful people were. i had been dealing with some unwarranted really abusive behavior from people i had been talking to. My friends response was. Jesus man! project much? He had never talked to me like that before and there didn't seem to be anything leading up to it. it made me realize thats what he really thought though.

Same! But I'm 18 and have been suicidal for 1.5 years

There's hope for you. I used to feel such a way. I thought it was inescapable. Today I am among the least depressed, most fulfilled people around. It took making many small changes daily involving meditation, fitness, nutrition, journaling, God (I am latter-day saint). These ended up being big changes in the long run. Don't give up.

Same Here. If my Parents were Gone. It would have been an easy Decision.

Exactly the same.

i am with you all the way

Sounds awful.. I’m so sorry for your experience.

Really sorry for your experience the world can be a scary place but please hold on.

This is exactly how it works. Telling anyone will only make things worse and at the same time make it more difficult to complete in the future. I’m just waiting on my mom to pass from old age and then I will be on my way as well. Nothing for me here

And thank you for 'taking up your cross' as Jordan would say. Peace be with you and best of luck with your mission in this life.

Y'all got a bed available on the unit? Asking for a friend.

@@1ron0xide♥️x

If you are not vegan, you are an animal abuser and a murderer. Dominion (2018) 👈

@@1ron0xide hey bud, happy to talk if you've got no to talk to, stay strong.

Sending hugs 🤗

In same situation as yours, it just becomes so difficult to NOT Have those those thoughts.

Not great advice here, but I suggest take time to drink your favourite non alcoholic beverage, listen to Eurodance, and smoke a few cigarettes, because smoking will Kill you just not yet!

Also try raising Your Heart and Mind to Jesus Christ, that might not be everyone's cup of tea though granted, it's up to you!

I can feel you. If you are able to write this in a comment section of a KZfaq video, where you have no idea what people you don't know will reply, you CAN tell someone about this. Talk to someone! As Dr. Peterson says, if you don't have anyone to talk to, go to the hospital. It seems you have a family. I think it's important to talk to them about how you feel. Please take care. 💕🙏

Exactly. You can’t share these feelings without being punished. $2500 for a 3 day hold where you get to color, eat garbage, and get approx 10 minutes of psych evaluation. Disgusting.

Sure you can. The problem is if a therapist or somone else will get the impression that you are a acute Danger to yourself they will commit you. But if you say you think about it but dont intend to act on it thats different. There is a big diference between i want to kill my self and somtimes i wish i was dead or sometimes i think about suicide.

You have to make your own community sometimes. Not just find it because sometimes you can't. You have to make it. And that takes work. And a lot of hurt. But what is the alternative?

Keep going on. Don't ever give up.

I'm really sorry to hear your childhood was so awful. Good on you for not giving up on yourself and finding the strength to continue--that's really admirable.

You are strong ❤

❤❤❤

Beautifully said. It's a gift to us all that you're still here. ❤

My PhD research in psychology showed that what helped people in despair was indeed what you describe, finding something reoccuring in nature, to look towards and want to see over and over be it 24hrs, or seasonal. Thank you for sharing your truth.

I understand what you mean. Even in the city I focus on what is bigger than all this chaos. The colors in the sky, the sunrise or sunset, the sunlights, the trees in the park. When I look at it I think to myself it is beautiful now, beautiful when I'm down, beautiful when I'm up, it's always there no matter what goes into my life.

For me its the moon. I look at its surface, billions of years old and which will outlast me by billions more. Every human has seen that view, and I suddenly don't feel alone anymore.

I look at trees. They are so beautiful and strong.

damn it you made me tear up :) keep going champ you can do it!

You're 36 years old - you're still young, you have more than an entire life ahead of you. Is it possible to find love when you've felt void of it for so long? Absolutely. It starts by loving those around you - there will be SOMEONE that you can show even the tiniest bit of love to, and as you do that, the love will return and will multiply, and will slowly grow like an ember into a flame. Is it possible to find meaning when you've felt void of it for so long? Absolutely. You know deep down that there is a reason why you're here - you're not a mistake. My recommendation is to read the Book of John in the Bible. Even if you hate God, the Bible or Christianity, just give it a go. Praying for you.

As a random person on the internet, I too am sad to read what you've written. If worthwhile human relations feel impossible for now, you might be able to find genuine care and companionship and purpose in a pet.

​@kanepadams 36 years old ain't that young it's possible the person dies at 46 now they're 90 percent done in life. Yeah sure they might live Till 80 or whatever but not too many people become successes after like 35 or 40 they end up stuck I'm whatever place they're in or they die. Sometimes by the Ole suicide. And God doesn't exist.

How can I talk to you privately?

my heart is with you, I pray for you, may love of the universe surround you@@kanepadams

Correct

What about people like Robin Williams who had all the resources? Suicide is much deeper than that simple analogy. For if that's the case, why do wealthy people kill themselves and people in the gulag or Nazi camps not kill themselves. It's more correlated to the idea of responsibility/meaning/truth. You should read Man's search for meaning by Victor Frankl.(he was in a variety of nazi camps). His thesis in cliff notes is why don't people kill themselves? He ends up answering it simply because of the meaning derived from whatever gives you the most meaning. When that is taken away, people would then kill themselves. It became his main psychological focus after that. Fascinating find. So it's more then a mere equation, it's a phenomena that is so unbelievably complex that we still haven't answered why people kill themselves. We know the common factors but that's it.

As is everything in this universe. Well said.

it's 100% rational. The irrational ones just want attention.

this is just depressing and dangerous. I pray this isn't true. If it is , i'm fighting the obvious

Congrats on your recovery. Most persons never realizes psilocybin can be used as a miracle medication to save lives. Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death bud, lets be honest here.

How can I find him? Is he on insta

I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

Yes he ships! Got mine shipped here in Luxembourg 🇱🇺

I am trying to find more info on this got a supplier? Are the mushrooms inspected for illegal substances? to many times non hard drugs has fentanl in it..killing this user.

I'm just here suffering every new fkin 24h over the last 5 years just for others so they won't get through the same experience I lost the will to exist years ago .

The irony of the reason for your depression being your salvation lol

I’ve been in the same position and got very close to ending it all but now starting to come out of it and that things can be meaningless, but why is it even a problem, as it never was before. I feel like when you’re in this empty meaningless void it’s more your emotional and mental state than anything, as many people believe that everything is meaningless and have happy fulfilling lives. It all means something here on earth and that’s all that really matters in my opinion but yeah zoom out and things can seem all very pointless.

Jesus loves you ♥

Nihilism is the meaning of life

As much as I hate myself and want to not exist, I could never do that to my family.

Been there, done that. I'm just here to let you know that I know how it is to see no end of pain/ suffering, that I was experiencing. Physical & mental violence at home, very little money, at best a mediocre friend circle - a really shitty situation. ^^ But I tried to keep giving it another chance, another day of figuring how to improve what was availeable to me; and over time, meeting better people & "cleaning my room" one step at a time + re-framing my life, through learning from people online (Jordan being one of them); things got WAAAAAAAY better... Nothing is guaranteed; I figure sh*t out as I go as well. But, there is a real possibility of having a good life; things going so well that I am thankful to be alive, changing a lot about the circumstances in my/ your life & enjoying living. ❤

Age? If you don’t mind me asking

@@TheOutlierToday When I was suicidal, I convinced myself everyone would be happy if I did it. My dog saved my life.

Lost one friend to suicide so far💐

If it's all your fault at least you can change and do better. If you always worked hard and tried your best and nothing workes it's an entirely different story.

If it's all your fault at least you can change and do better. If you always worked hard and tried your best and nothing workes it's an entirely different story.

That quote pretty much sums up my mind. Things are always getting worse.

Good idea.

Then tell them about Jesus

@@PaulWashington.. don't forgett to talk about Santa Clause and the Easterrabbit too...

@@S2audicoupeS2 Jesus loves you. Avoid all religion and reach out to Jesus. He is alive, available and more beautiful than anything or anyone you have ever seen. He truly loves you

Well, would be ok for you if they do it "later"? Or later would you also tell them that they must wait till even later? And so on...? By this kind of logic a person can never do it. It is a misleading advice btw. and going through all this suffering is also something which can´t be taken back. Who will give me back my dignity? My confidence? Who will erase all the discusting emotional filth from the fact that in those horrifiing moments I only apologized for everything and made myself a whiny wretch (because of the immense pain I felt all the time) I will be ashamed of for the rest of my life? Who will give me this back? These are just as valid questions as the statement that no one can bring a person's life back but they are always totally ignored.

Keep going!

Today I was shamed by a loved one when I confided in them and compared it to a terminal disease. I would take my life rather than suffer the pain of the end of a terminal disease (like I saw my mother go through last month) and would end it so my family wouldn't have to suffer seeing me in pain as well. It is one in the same for suicide for me.

Preach! It is not a selfish act it’s selfish for us to want someone to stay around despite the pain whatever that cause is that led to the act.

Seek to grow spiritually , that could truly help a lot

May God bless your heart ❤ PS- you're not the only one who's been through what you've been through and I just want to say from my pov that it's a miracle you're still here, I think that is beautiful and that life has something great in store for you, God is not done with you, your story isn't over , joy is within your grasp. Seek is my advice , it does yield reward even if that is just insight after insight , eventually it can turn into an incredible meaningful life and you can help others to navigate theirs . You are blessed to be a blessing. Perhaps find out more about what that is or what that means in your life and or how you could apply it or simply become aware or on the lookout for things that become relevant to you in the way that you feel drawn to being, and be you. It's hard. But It takes tremendous strength and courage to stick around after surviving multiple attempts. I don't know where I'm going with this either. I suppose I can relate and it's not often I see or hear or speak to another who has survived multiple attempts. There is a point where you give up on giving up because you know it just won't work and what you have to do is keep going albeit painful and etc but hopefully what can be reflected to you is everything good that you are and that you do in such a way that you can fall in love with life and live it with joy it's not impossible. I think that because of that, there's an opportunity, and cutting yourself off from that is not fair. You have worth, it's time you begin to sink in to your value and rise above the pain and grow and eventually soar. Again, seeking spiritual help can expand your horizon and is most definitely worth a try. That's why I'm still breathing. ❤

@@zero1957 I hope ur okay ❤️

Hope you're doing okay.

neither have i, i want to be gone before i get too old so i don't become a vegetable, what a miserable existence

Yooo

feeling a bit better? and how if you did?

Thank you for your work! I am a clinician at an inpatient psych facility receiving the kind of patients that you deem in need of further hospitalization. I know how difficult it can be to carry the burden of deciding when someone is ready to leave a controlled environment that has been suicidal. Prayers for wisdom for you in your position.

This is so true 😭

Yes, if this message actually resonated with direct family and true friends, all would end in different terms. But this is usually not the case. You feel alone and find out that indeed you are alone. The constant "i never knew", is hardly the truth

Most Depress people don’t advertise what they went through. Nobody in my family ( husband, son, parents, brothers, sister) knows my darkness. They all thought I am a feisty wife or a generous daughter/ sister/mom. But, if they only observe, I don’t have friends, don’t go out much.

@@Lords-ok3do Some people have no family.

It hits hard for us who are loved by many yet hate ourselves and want out regardless too. The visions of doing that to them are torturous.

@@d1ssolv3r Exactly. At least people who aren't alone have a valid, objective reason to not give up. But if you hate life, hate yourself, don't see a point in keep on going plus you are completely alone, I think it's a safe bet that you're much more likely to take that final step, than someone who has support from others. In fact, being alone for too long can be the cause of depression. I would even risk a statement that people would prefer to be hated, than just invisible. If you're hated, well at least you're being noticed, even if in a negative way, it's better than to just be ignored. Then you can really feel like you're nobody.

@@kr-vm1bt Sometimes I wish I had absolutely noone, would make it a lot less painful/simpler. No devastation in your wake. I see where you're coming from. Family and friends are one of the few things that've kept me alive

Who gives a fuck when you're dead lolololi

There's always someone who cares, all they have to do is reach out to people and ask for help! If nobody arounds them can help them, then God will! I speak from personal experience!

I'm sorry you have gone so long feeling like this. I am not even half of your age but, you are so strong for holding on for so long. Please keep going!

Hey good luck man, I'm doing better now and it does get better eventually and if not, we only get so many trips around the sun anyway.

Hang in there man. The end is near for all of us anyways. I do believe that. Might as well try to squeeze out a few drops of simple human pleasure in the meantime and see how it ends.

your son is with god,you know everytime you think of michael his soul races to you ,honestly hes there with you ,believe me hes there,talk to him ,tell him how much he was loved and look out for a sign ,the sign can be a 1000 different things ,for me my dad smoked cuban cigars on chrimbo day ,i smelled them i just knew my dad was here with me

Sorry for your loss

My condolences Michelle. I wish you peace❤️‍🩹🫂

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear son.

Life fucking sucks

Some of us don’t feel worthless. Life is just simply unkind to us and we don’t deserve that. However nothing we do makes it better

Fuck this painful life experience. There is nothing to learn about suffering, It’s just painful. I’ll never forgive this universe. There is no way my soul choose this life, I just can’t believe that. It doesn’t get any better. for now, it’s just getting worse. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone - god, universe, or what ever you believe in.

You are 1 of the 0.001%. Don't find this so relevant to push gluten shit on others

That's splendid news, however, panic attacks have been shown to be only existing in people with catastrophic interpretations of their bodily sensations. What they did was to inject people with yohimbine or sodium lactate, depending on the experiment, and only neurotic people reported the occurrence of panic attacks. Other people just felt agitated. Also their vitals were pretty similar, including blood pressure, heart rate etc. So while there is a strong somatic component to panic attacks, they are only possible in people already having anxious thoughts and a generally negative outlook on life. I would suspect that the rest of your symptoms are similar in that regard. Also, what about that remaining 10%? BTW, I have been suffering from panic attacks myself some 10 years ago, for a few months, but I eventually recognized that they are psychological in nature, then watched a video on KZfaq with a relevant sort of a 'meditation', and never suffered from them again. That doesn't mean I don't get agitated anymore, it's just that I don't interpret these situations in a way that leads to panic. Years later, after having rehearsed various nutrients, electrolytes, vitamins, diets, sunshine exposure theory, outdoor activities, cardio, calisthenics etc etc etc ×100, I went to therapy and my life *really* started improving from that moment onwards. So that's why I'm a bit skeptical as to all of it being due to an intolerance of a dietary component - but as I say if you're better now, that's splendid and that's all that counts.

How did you find out?

Yea how do u find out?

How did you find out?

Aww, I'm sorry you're feeling that way! I relate on feeling alone! It's not fun! Wish you the best of luck!

hey have u tried meditation/ yoga?? Please look into them, they have helped me a lot so just wanted to share

Are you still here

If you are not vegan, you are an animal abuser and a murderer. Dominion (2018) 👈

Suicidal ideation possibly are more common then people admit too but 😂the poor nurses are always flat out and have to triage, they probably have it down to a science who needs their immediate attention and who can wait

Nurse once told me, we can't save you all.

The nurse is correct. You’re just ignorant of many things about the realities of life. I hope one day you can figure this out.

Normal u think about dying every----- day feels painful to me have to keep talking myself out of it

Its true, many people think this way when very upset, but they are not serious about it.

its gonna be okay. i have similiar struggles. ❤

Hi, I feel the same you are not alone i send you love and light i too Am alone i wish To have real friends

@glowshine8102 I'm sorry to hear that. I can't say I have a lot of friends but I have a few I'm close to and especially my daughter who will be turning 10. Funny thing is when I decided to not use the "back up plan" it was actually kind of stressful because then I had to figure out how to get my life back on track. I have had a lot of luck meeting people at church. It took awhile to find the right one but if you take the time to it might help you to connect with some good people. I just had to realize they were all as messed up as I am

😢Bro, I'm glad you're alive.

Update us please

please talk to someone - family friends or even professionals - if you feel the same way again. Stay strong!

Thank you for being you. Thank you for your honesty. You are more special than you will ever know. ❤️

God does not make mistakes. You were created for a reason. You are needed in the world. You are worth it, so hang in there. Much love.

Does anyone know any good source to get them? I put so much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels, would love to give shrooms a try.

Yes, bergwilly11_

A lot of people have testified about this and I really want to give it a shot. I put so much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels

Shrooms was definitely the best trip I ever had. It was amazing!

Can bergwilly send to me in PA?

you deserve to be happy keep fighting the urge of feeling horrid inside we all deserve life and to enjoy it.

maybe i can help you?

Agreed

I'm sorry if you had that bad experience with hospital treatment. But for many, it literally can be a life saver.

@@savvyladylondon5841 Depends on the hospital I suppose but I have absolutely zero confidence in the psychiatric profession…. absolutely zero. Few if any are within a light year of Jordan in terms of integrity, intelligence, sincerity, or depth of perception and of those that do the overwhelming majority have long since been shackled into utter paralysis by an industry possessed by unbridled greed and profound stupidity…. and I’m choosing my words carefully. If one becomes existentially overwhelmed it is always for good reason and to put oneself in the hands of these drug pushers theses days is very seldom a choice that leads to a positive result.

I did it when I was in the military. Do NOT cross that line. The hospital does not care. To them it's just protocol and you're a number. I wasn't suicidal, but depressed. The people inside the psych are heavily, heavily medicated. Very bad spot to be in when I really just needed someone to talk to. Basically, in order to get out, a panel of doctors have to clear you. Best acting I ever did and they bought it and released me the next day. Of course I thought that these doctors weren't that bright if they got smoozed by a 19 year old.. anyways, people should not go that route for help unless they literally have the finger on the trigger. They'll be fighting depression along with these "professionals" to "let you go".

I respect all the experiences being spoken about here. In the West, statistics show higher male suicide numbers, and it is so very sad that men are saying that hospitals and treatment centres are making it worse and not better! I also think the other points Peterson made are spot on, and I hope people feeling suicidal take so much comfort from that ❤️🙏

if you like plants, look at the magic shrooms, could heal every Psychological illness

I'm glad you found something that comforts you and helps to take away the pain... People need to teach themselves effective ways to deal with their problems, suicide is not the answer, these thoughts come from the devil...

Keep going !

Yeh im similar i find that animals and nature helps

Jesus dude, hope your doing ok ❤

I hope you gained insight from it all brother

Bullshit

I'm thinking about doing it.But not 5 stories.Theres a building here in town,the talest in town.It's 145 meters,no way i make it out alive.

​@@TheMATHEHOUSEYou're only inviting more hell, friend. The chances may seem low, but life is cruel and modern healthcare will never let you die if they get you. I only didn't for years because I feared surviving. My advice is: if this life is so garbage that you need to throw it away then do it. But to start a new one instead of just ending it. Run away. I'm serious. Take what ever money you have even if it's a couple bucks and just leave everything. Start driving or walking or whatever. Go somewhere new and don't look back. Look up shelters and churches and just ask for help when you need it. Find a small business and ask for an under the table job. You might as well say fuck it and try something new. Leave a note for anyone you care for. Better to disappear from their lives then make them live with your death.

My thoughts exactly. Talk to people who really don’t care? No thanks

I'm not suicidal but I still relate to this, Ive always had trust issues with certain people but the one person I trusted most just ghosted me recently, and it kinda shattered whatever line between trust and distrust that I had, I don't know anymore who's actually giving a damn about me

I love this and will definitely refer to this in the future ❤

Here are my versions that saved me and turned my life around: It's not really your body you want to kill, but the vice and poison that is torturing you. Think about it. If you can find the strength to kill yourself, then you can find the strength to kill your poison. It's not the pain that destroys us, it's the things we do to avoid it. If your life is so painful that you constantly want to die, then you can handle the pain of making all the right decisions to improve your life. You are already in hell, you are already supporting the worst. It might even get better, who knows? Try something new.

“Stay alive just to spite the f*ckers who’d wish you dead.” - A devilsh Angel I once met

If a person wants to die it's because they don't see the solution to their situation any longer and usually they've used all the tools they had to fix things. It's the state of complete hopelessness where you stop caring or not caring about anything, even your children. There's nothing, no pain, no joy, no colour, no morning no evening, just deadly indifference and the only thing that makes sense is "I don't want to exist in this state any more". This is how I felt. At some point even pain stops and if all feelings stop you know you're in trouble. A person who still fights feels pain or joy or anything but they feel.

everything hurts

Its the ultimate test as well my God.

do you have a garden, pets and know how to heal with nature?

Exactly! I'm currently suicidal and this came across as a selling point to me. I guess we all have to find our own reasons to live? Some reasons work for others, and some don't.

And you're so right about the being "remembered" part. That is also one of my motivations, to get back at the people who did me wrong? Like there's no way you can argue about what you did to me anymore, because I'm gone. And it'll be quite clear who was the abused one. And then maybe all the people who weren't there for me and called me "crazy" would finally realize. Again, all of it sounds like a fantasy. But a fantasy you can make come true.

@@duakhan8448 The issue with that is that you're still losing in long-run. If your whole life is dictated by getting back at people who wronged you or making them feel bad then you need to find a better purpose or goal in life. Suicide is tempting when all of your current goals have failed and it seems like the most powerful way to get back at the world, but that's usually because you've limited your scope on what you can do and haven't weighed your options properly. As it is well known, people who jump off the Brooklyn bridge and survive always regret it on the way down. The thought is tempting until you do it and realize "Oh frick, I REALLY could've tried something different" or "Oh, wait, why didn't I just apply to a couple more jobs per day?". There are plenty of options available that AREN'T suicide. Also, I think JP mentioned this before, but when I was suicidal it was sort of a biological clock where around the same time everyday I would get suicidal. It took me a while to realize that I wasn't suicidal because of the quality of the day, I was suicidal based on the time of the day. Sort of like Pavlov's dog, I think I became so depressed for so long that suicidal thinking became a natural biological response and the fix to it was medication and moving to live with my family for a few years. Honestly, the family aspect did way more than the medication did. I started working different jobs and changed my expectations on life for a few years and that helped a bunch. Having people to talk to helps. Find a community group of sorts where you can talk frequently. I eventually got off medication but I've made sure that I talk to people on a weekly basis as I have a tendency to stop talking to everyone for weeks on end unless I forced myself to. Genuine conversations really make a difference.

@@duakhan8448 you're not gonna revenge on people who did you wrong by killing yourself, that's how you're gonna make them win. Because people who did you wrong on purpose want to see you down obviously. and also are not likely capable of regretting their actions even after you commit suicide. They just don't care about you enough. You get back to them by flourishing and thriving after their low punches and basically laughing at their faces by doing so. Hope that helps. 🤙

I guess some people feel that way, but I feel the opposite. I fantasize about disappearing and everyone instantly forgetting about me. But that's impossible. I don't want to hurt anyone or be remembered. I just don't want to exist right now. The fact it would hurt my loved ones keeps me from doing it.

That’s it. And the children I want to adopt who will never be adopted.

That's the worst point here

Im so sorry.. x

@@PlumGustave hello sarahparr thank you, My Sarah was 20 years old, when she died. She has now been dead 21, I have lived longer with her death now than I had her in my life, she was the most beautiful person , If you or anyone you know is troubled with thoughts of suicide, talk to someone , and keep talking to someone Truly just stay another day, never be ashamed, god has other plans for us,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved daughter.

@@NYNC88 thank you , I will always still be her mum, I'm sorry for anyone who is facing that news today, We must learn to talk openly about our struggles, our fears shout it from the top of sky scrapers if we must until everyone knows they must never be ignored or let down again by the paid actors in our systems God bless you and your life ahead

❤🌱

Ask Jesus to heal you. Love and peace.

So true.

Lauren, absolutely 100 percent.

There's hope for you. I used to feel such a way. I thought it was inescapable. Today I am among the least depressed, most fulfilled people around. It took making many small changes daily involving meditation, fitness, nutrition, journaling, God (I am latter-day saint). These ended up being big changes in the long run. Don't give up.

@@RobertHild-oh6zs Hey there, It's nice to hear you have tried turning your life around and honestly that was 8 months ago and things have gotten somewhat better since then. I do try to do meditation, fitness and taking care of myself. And yes I am a bit religious but it's genuinely just the enviorment I live in. Outside People are backstabbers, backbiters you name it. And when Im back home its just curses and abuse etc. Althought I have gotten a girfriend in the meanwhile and I am healing. I'll give you updates soon:)

Dude same.. My little girl and my two boys stop me from doing it to... If i didnt have them i would already be dead. And everytime i feel so down that i wanna kill myself and think about them and i cry and get torn inside but i just cannot do that to them...

I hear this a lot, but what if you don't have any "loved ones?"

God bless, wishing good will and recovery to you and your family❤️🙏

So sorry to hear. My heart goes out to you 💔

"Daddy" *gags* lmao

I think there is a slight bit of an issue with the way society works, someone commits suicide and it is labeled as a crime. The suicidal person is treated like a lose end and the State and society treat them as such, but there is always a chain of events that lead to it, these events were caused by many irregular agents or chaos in the very system called society. How is it that we criminalize the victim and not the chain itself and the people who contributed to the creation of that chain. There are a lot of people partaking on injustice.

​@@oioio-yb9dw As someone who has a plan to kms in 2 years I have realeised that people, esspecially family are deaf. You ask your parents nicely to stop yelling and they yell more, you ask your sibling to live you alone and they want to fight you, you ask someone to stop speaking while your working and they start insulting you. After all of that they will say: You look depressed because you dont leave your room ( I run or bike at least 10km per week😑)

Wow this is beautiful.. thanks for sharing and all the very best to you 💛

I wish you healing! It is good that you have so much insight into your own state of mental health. I cannot emphasize more the importance of it esp when you want to have a family in future. It's not just about you and getting on with your spouse etc but esp esp how you will be able to be present and emotionally stable with your kids. Kids need from an early age strong attachment to their primary caregivers and a functional family system. I just wrote about the "demons" in anothe comment - yes! You have to face them, learn how they affected you, be kind to yourself and allow yourself the process of grief (over what you didn't have or over what happend to you) and them reparent your inner child (Shadowwork). Reading about your selfharm brought back deep sadness and memories to me. When you see your scars - be sure that you will overcome and never meevr feel ashamed of them! I hope that you will be able to pursue your career in the mental health field - someone who hit rock bottom can emphasise really with the ones who are at that place. All the best to you!

my father committed suicide and i can tell you that is the best way to destroy a family and leave your love ones with a pain that will never go away . tell someone your thoughts . your family would much rather listen to you than have a life-long guilt for not being able to help you. i send love and prayers to you and ur family ❤️

@masonmeeks-johnson6730 thank you.

@@bigdeano4459 I hope you're doing better, and remember people care and need you. You aren't alone.

@@Lux-IceCream-fx8tq I have changed jobs and taken steps to better myself. Much happier now, thanks.

How could a person prevent the pain and destruction from affecting their family? Do you think a well written note would work?

Are you still here? Please still be here

You're not alone, I think about it hourly i just don't want to hurt my family . Sending love to you

@@Ash-ty9nd even I’ve been doing better, there is hope for everyone

Please get a new pet. Having something to take care of might help you and give you some companionship. I wish you the best.

While true, you also have to understand that the reality behind that can only last for so long for some people. Eventually, there are breakthroughs where even that isn't enough to stop someone who feels a level of despair and hopelessness that you may not be able to comprehend.. nor is everyone as strong as you are... but it does help, and it has been the only thing that has kept me alive for now.

Blessed by God lol, the same god that will let many struggle to live with depression and suicidal thoughts, he sounds great

Jesus is a scammer and ruined my life.