The bird cage thing is weird. A relationship is not at all a cage. If a man doesn't want to be with me, he can go and I won''t try and stop him. I know who I am, and I think loyalty is beautiful and important. I honor my partner and I expect the same from him, but if he doesn't want that he can go. It's all about choice.

I'm not against polyamory, but this couple seems to mask a lot of the issues that come up with this kind of relationship, as well as their own relationship, by smiling non-stop and trying to act all relaxed and easygoing with everything.

My body is physically rejecting this video, but I’m trying to keep my mind open.

how do they have the time for all these relationships!!! i'm happy if i get some time in a day to spend with my husband !

Did he really compare his monogamous relationship as being a bird in a cage? First of all being in the right relationship shouldn't feel like a cage. He says "jealousy is like a method of avoiding other feelings that are perhaps scarier"...sounds like their fuck buddy relationship is him avoiding a shit ton of feelings. I'm getting a vibe that the girl isn't really that into it as her "partner" either. Her calling it an "experiment" is a dead giveaway that she sees this "lifestyle" as temporary. The way she says I just want him to be happy, just goes to show this is all his idea. He personally sounds like a selfish person and she definitely should dump him and let him be single since he wants to be a lake with many rivers attached to him..stupid analogies btw.

To each their own, but in no fucking world would I be ok with my girl being with someone else.

Being in a loving and healthy monogamous relationship doesn’t feel like being a cage.

What I still don't get is all the anger from supposedly happy monogamous people.

I could never do this. I would go insane with jealousy

Fuck that shit. I can be sexually involved with someone who sleeps with other people but I could not be in a relationship with them.

why are they so open but seems so fake? like lacking something true and deep

I hate them, but only because they ride a tandem bike.

The birdcage analogy is ironic at 3:08, because a great number of bird species are monogamous

We just all need to agree that polyamory is not for everyone. Just like monogamy may not be for everyone but christ stop making one inferior to the other.

new title - doormat girlfriend suffers through poly-amorous relationship to avoid breaking up with cheating boyfriend

I'm picking up some intensely passive aggressive vibes between these two, lol😂

their jealousy and denial is somewhat subliminal yet very, very strong

My thought about this kind of relationship is "am I not enough? Am I not good enough that you have to "fly around"? Jealousy is another thing but what might kills me is the insecurities.

What about your ugly moments? When life gets tough for one of you and you go through really difficult periods? How do you go through that together when there's other people offering a new and uncomplicated romance (at first of course)? How do you get through the tough stuff when you've given yourself so many other 'beautiful' options?

I applaud what they're doing. If it works for them then that's all that matters. But honestly, at the same time, nothing could seem more alien to me. Imagine having a really bad day; your car broke down, lose your job etc and you want nothing more than to be in the comforting embrace of the person you love. Oh but you forgot they're on a date. Having sex, or literally falling in love with someone else and doing everything you need them to do to you at that moment, but they're doing it to someone else. I can't think of anything worse tbh.

As someone who is familiar with poly, is to some degree poly, and knows others who are poly, this is a strange, strange way to present it with a lot of females, almost no extra males besides Caleb. What actually bugs me the most is all the commenters arguing for monogamy by saying "I would never let my partner sleep with others". But no one says "I would never want to sleep with anyone else besides my partner". INTERESTING. VERY INTERESTING.

Nowadays it seems that if something makes you happy it becomes morally correct. This is consensual cheating not open-mindedness lol.

Me and my wife have been together for 16 years. We have a wonderful 14 year old son together. We have been open for 5 years. Over that time I have dated several women and fallen in love two different times. Love is infinite. It's like children, you don't love one less because you have another child. I'm happy for anyone that can be happy in a monogamous relationship, so why can't you be happy for people who aren't. I don't see what harm could possibly come from more love in the world. As long as you communicate properly, respect each other, and yourself, there is no reason this isn't a valid way to live your life.

Im on my second non monogamous relationship, Ive been like that since 2013 and its life changing. Come on guys, there is almost 200 types of relationships on earth, how can you say there’s only one right? It is like religion, find the one that fits you

It's all fun and games until Caleb has to pay child support for his harem

Walks in and find wife with another man in bed, Smile and walk back out....Sets house on fire

Nobody think the guy is a bit off?

He’s a cheater. And she cheated herself by staying.

I am okay with the idea of polyamory, but I did not like that this piece focused more on Caleb's relationships with other women and not equally on both of their different relationships. I just found it strange that Caleb was always surrounded by women while Tran was just there watching and being their friends. What about Caleb's relationship with Trans partners?

So whats the point in being in a relationship?

So many people in this comment section seem to be projecting their own insecurities around cheating, jealously, etc. onto this couple that we only get to see for 15 minutes. Just because most of us have never been given a model of open relationships and have only ever known the principles monogamy, doesn't mean that polyamory isn't working for these people. Just because it makes you feel uncomfortable or upset doesn't mean they feel the same way, or that they can't be happy, excited, in love, and having fun connecting with different people and eachother. I'm sure they run into challenging times like any human or relationship does, but regardless of the relationship the key is communication, love, and support. Conor and Brittany are a beautiful poly couple that have so much to share if you want to learn more about the details of open relationships on their channel. I'm monogamous but I still get so much wisdom and inspiration from them: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/qbWXhcam2L3RZGw.html

Getting the “itch” after two years of dating is actually being unfaithful/not in love with that person

Lets be honest the woman in the relationship will be getting a hella alot more sex than the guy in a polyamory relationship.

It's all well and good to do yo thang in polyamory. However to insinuate that monogamy is somehow inferior or cruel doesn't sit well with me. I also question their happiness as a couple, I get a sense of unspoken tension between them.

I'M SORRY, WHAT?!?!?! "It takes a whole lot of maturity do be in a polyamorous relationship" ???? Let's be real, it takes maturity to have self-control, little miss sunshine!

You can tell he’s the one who wants this and she just doesn’t want to lose him

This is just a married couple that sleeps around. Real poly have real relationships with multiple people not just screwing around

I literally NEVER want to look at my partners junk and say "Oh, I wonder where you've been bird ?"

They're more friends with benefits than lovers really. Looks like a relationship made from convenience and not passion.

I love this! It is so refreshing and beautiful. Our society is slowly but surely acknowledging that love has no bounds. I salute you guys!

The guy's metaphors are just as bad as his views on Relationships. I mean what has happened to love? Where is the special connection? Where is the purity and patience that defines two souls into one in a relationship? Loving one person for the rest of your life and being committed to them takes a lot of hard work and patience, and sacrifices. A good relationship is built on a strong foundation. To be a successful businessman, you work hard, to have a slim figure, you work hard, to raise kids well, you work HARD. Nothing comes easy and if this is how those who are justifying polyamorous relationships are going to come to terms regarding their life paths, then they are not stable and need mental help.

it's okay to do whatever you want... it's also okay for me to say "yall people are crazy'"

I would never sleep with anyone besides my partner because I don't want to. I never felt 'the itch' after being with him for 8 years. Maybe it's for people who are big on an adventurous lifestyle while being committed. For me, sex is about emotions and it's not only about jealousy but how frivolous you are. The woman said she wants her man happy. She's not speaking about happiness but an adrenaline rush. You don't become happy by sleeping with more people nor do you become less happy by not engaging in casual sex.

I'm here because my boyfriend just told me that I need to change my mind and be more open. He's into this multiple relationships thing. I feel hurt because I am not into this and prefer to die alone before I consent to living with another woman. I'm very confident but I can't do that. I like my man to myself; I don't share.

Lame. They never talked about this type of arrangement before it happened. She just walked in on him cheating on her and then decided on being in an open relationship.

why are they so awkward with eachother when theyve been together for 5 years????

sharing sexts you've recieved from other people is a not okay

The knowledge and experience that you are exclusive for your beloved gives a deeply shared priceless intimate bond and connection. It is based on trust and respect.

My question is how do you keep your primary partner a priority or do they not want to be considered a priority? What happens when one of the side partners accidentally gets pregnant? How often do they get tested?

Whatever works for them, but it's just that they don't look very happy.. it seems forced somehow..

WTH ridiculous bird analogy.... why does your partner need to go out and have sex why cant they go out and have a job, friends, interests, or hobbies....ext to talk about when they get home why does it have to be i went out and slept with X to become interesting ?!?

I tried this to keep a man, it was a terrible choice. It was very much one sided (his side). I guess 2 people can be on the same page on this but I sure didn't have the same experience. Best to all who live this lifestyle! And I hope all parties do this for themselves and not only for the partner.

As a polyamorous person, this made me cringe a bit. This couple seems very sex and threesome oriented, not so much about building multiple romantic relationships, which is what poly is about. They are in an OPEN RELATIONSHIP where they can see whoever they want, but they aren't in an emotionally intimate relationship with everyone else that shows up sparingly in the video. There is a major major difference between the two.

no.

Maybe I'm just reading into it too much but all the conversations seem really awkward

I didn't see too many clips of her with another partner 🤔

He just looks like someone who can manipulate women into thinking this is okay. And the chick seems a bit bashful to say anything that could be detrimental to the relationship which is why she wasn't angry about him cheating prior to all this.

They look so awkward when they're talking to each other

Am just getting jealous for her by watching him kiss that woman. Omg is she that desperate for love? Girl you are beautiful and someone will be lucky to have you. He isn’t that cute and he doesn’t love you...

the tandem bike really pushes this over the edge so cringe

jelousy is also a human feeling

These two seem like bros that talk about their sex lives rather than a solid relationship

He doesn't love her and she's in deep denial. A mess smh.

Very interesting perspective and got me thinking. So thank you for this video. Just wanted to share my thoughts and mere opinions not backed by data. I believe that the feelings like jealousy, ownership, lust for sex with others in a monogamy relationship are evolutionary properties that have been serving us for thousands of years. Without jealousy, there can be no initiative to change or grow for your other partner. Example, if I’m fat and my partner makes a comment about a ‘hot’ guy, I am jealous, and I would start to question why and how can I be better. If it’s reasonable and not impractical to change, this change is necessary. Jealousy starts our inner conversation with ourselves. Ownership in my eyes serves as motivation to achieve something that one deems precious or valuable or worth sacrificing for I.e. your partner. The feeling of ownership comes with fear of losing someone or something, even anger, all of which are essential recipes to propel someone into achieving a goal - a person. Beyond the bounds of practicality, ownership is detrimental to oneself and the partner (abusive and insecure relationship), but ownership with awareness is an evolutionary character that we must all cherish and cultivate. Lastly, lust for sex and the itch to experience like our first ‘sex’ really is not different from one’s habit of seeking for that first experience with any drug. Tolerance is what we build and we perceive less of the same amount, so the only way to perceive more is to increase that amount. Here, anecdotal data shows that one can only increase this ‘amount ‘ that an individual seeks to a certain extent before the body starts to breakdown. Lust helps us to understand our cravings and get us into thinking why? Shutting it down will NOT stop our ancestral cravings for sex - hormones are what shape us. Understanding this notion biologically, by controlling (not suppressing) our lust, we can experience ‘the first time feeling’ with the same amount. Feeling like it’s the first time with a person you’ve had sex with for a thousand times before. Patience and control will elevate one’s mind to control your body. Along with these evolutionary behavior that we develop, it only makes us stronger as a person living the life as a human being today. With every gain, there must be a loss. Polyamorous relationships highlight too much of the gain, and to me, something is missing that I don’t see - the loss, the suffering. I hope this starts conversations, please share your thoughts. Thank you :)

People need to open there minds more... If this makes them happy fuck it

I feel like the hardest part of being in a polyamorous relationship for me would be finding enough participants.

They started this because they didn’t want to break up? I don’t know about that being the healthiest solution. I’m not against what they’re doing. But, I personally couldn’t hang out with the hookups. This definitely was called Swinging in the day and it’s just a way to cheat without the guilt.

This is very lovely made. i love how they used music, writing, their voices and wow. Thank you...great

okay, this is NOT a good representation of what being in a polyamorous relationship is all about/what the definition of polyamory is. This is basically an open relationship with extreme lowkey jealousy. I personally do not think what they are doing is healthy. Like, really ? DELIBERATELY showing one another how many people y'all can attract on social media ? How immature. It's like they're saying "OMG look at how many people want me! haha. dont get jealous though, because we both agreed this relationship would be open!" Polyamory is about trust, being considerate, communication, and equality in love among all the people involved. Everyone has the freedom and the choice to do as they please, just as long as all partners involved agree to the terms the individuals set. All partners consent to what each partner in the relationship wants. Everyone has to be on the same page so that everyone can benefit from being in a relationship with more than one person. What these people are doing is some childish shit. They don't have to show each other every single person that shows interest in them! They just have to be okay with the fact that their partner has other partners, because its what makes their significant other happy/that's what they both agreed on. All they're doing is building up resentment towards one another. Polygamy can be healthy, but what they're doing is not, in my opinion. This video is giving people a misinterpretation of what polyamory is and I just wanted to clear it up for people interested in wanting to know more about it. Perhaps people would be more open-minded towards polyamory if they were more educated and had a better understanding of what it is. I think being able to love is amazing. Being able to love more than one person in an ethical way is even more amazing. On the other hand, though, if doing all that makes that couple happy , who am I to judge or say it's wrong ? I'm just saying that I can clearly see the tension and hidden jealousy between them but hey, if that's what gets them off, more power to them.

I tried the poly for a minute. It basically turned into a "who can bang the most people" competition." Jealousy is a primal emotion; the only way to combat it is to replicate what your party is doing to a greater extent.

These people REEK of passive-aggressiveness. Oh the faces we wear and the truths we tell ourselves.

I’m sensing that they’re trying to one up each other in a way.

Tran is faking it. She doesn't want to lose Caleb so she's pretending to be into Polyamorous relationships.

All of their metaphors made it seem like the only way to have a relationship is to be polygamous, sorry but if my significant other told me they want to branch out and be with other people I'd be so devastated.

They're basing their relationship merely on physical attraction and sex... Relationships are so much more than that when you're really in love with that person.

They seem more like friends than lovers

I don't know why I felt so awkward watching this, all the while trying to stay open minded, but it kept creeping up in all their moments

Hm I would try this if diseases weren't a thing and jealousy wasn't an emotion I felt.

Their dynamic works for them, and that's all that matters - as longs as their happy doing what they're doing. This was very interesting to learn about as someone who is in a monogamous relationship. I respect their maturity and how open they are with each other. c:

I found that having an authentic and supportive relationship takes a lot of time and effort. Having that kind of deep caring relationship with more than one person seems exhausting. The closest kind of relationship to being a couple is loving and caring for a child. Even though the child/parent relationship is not as full spectrum as the spouse'/spouse relationship, each of these can impact on the other. I can't see how a poly relationship involving both spouses wouldn't diminish their primary partnership.

If you are in a marriage and want other partners, you shouldn't be married in the first place.

These people have no idea what maturity is. Maturity isn't just knowing your own needs and desires; it's also about learning to sacrifice for others. Everyone in this video lives for him/herself. As a mom of three young kids and a person enjoying a 22-yr. marriage, I've learned that life isn't primarily centered on me.

And so STD goes on, i cant call this as relationship but more of a sexual thing only, nothing emotional but purely physical.

I honestly could not think of anything worse! Me and my partner are in love on a level where we're bound to each other in every way. We tell our secrets only to each other, we love only each other, and we touch only each other. I would hate to think of him holding, kissing, making love to another woman. Its something I could never do. However, I do completely accept that not all people are the same as me! And in the animal kingdom, its normal to have multiple mates. BUT, love and sex are connected in my eyes. True love to me means being faithful to the person you love and saving that ultimate closeness only for them, because it is so special.

As long as nobodies feelings are getting hurt I think this is fine. People talk about diseases spreading but you can get an std in a monogamous relationship if your partner cheats and doesn't use protection. The most important thing is to be respectful of each other and communicate. But overall I don't think it's for everyone you have to be pretty open minded and mature about it. Most people in this society aren't even capable of independent, uninfluenced thought so it won't become a popular thing any time soon. But to those who can handle it I say enjoy.

polyamory doesn't exist as far as I am concerned, if you are dating and fucking whoever you want, you are just being single and have a friend/fuckbuddy, the point of a relationship is about spending your life with the other person and if you find monogamy "limiting" just end the relationship

I have always wondered why I always imagined my future with multiple people who all love each other even though I didn't see any representation of that kind of relationship and I have never been in an official romantic relationship or had sex. But I see that polyamory is always thought about as sex but for me it's more about affection. It could be with an asexual person and a bi person or whatever. I don't think hold sex as strongly as love in a romantic relationship. I am writer and when I write romance, I rarely even include kissing and those relationships are often 'epic' love. Yes sex is important if it is desired but it is not as important as love. I don't want my partner going on dates and looking for people. But if you encounter someone let's both see how that goes. That's where I am at now but things might change in the future. Funny thing is that I am not even interested in dating at all right now.

This comment section is so toxic, wow. These two people mutually agreed to this type of relationship and are clearly more happy with it. Monogamy isn't for everyone, just like polyamory isn't. No one is "cheating" or doesn't love the other person" (at least nothing you'd be able to tell from a 14min video!!). People express love differently and relationships aren't a one-size-fits-all. Stop being so judgy because others choose to live their life differently than yours. That being said, wasn't a fan of the bird/lake analogies. He shouldn't disregard monogamy just because it doesn't work for him...

I really dont get how you could watch the person that you are in love with kiss someone or have sex with somebody else. The most wonderful thing to me is having my boyfriend look at me like i am the only one. I dont think i could ever feel ok knowing that im not the only one. They seem more like best friends than two people who are in a relationship. Its their life though xx

How do you reach that point when you see your intimate partner getting intimate with a stranger (for you), having a longing for him/her as well, to just say "Awww, beautiful." and leave the scene with a warm feeling? Not speaking idealistic, but of feelings.

This made me miserable.

can't tell if just awkward self-absorbed hipsters or they actually have no dynamics between them and are using this polyamory shit to disguise the fact that their relationship is dead and they need to find 'fire' or 'passion' through other people. I mean if the relationships healthy and you're bored why not try a new hobby or something. I really don't see how being in a loving relationship is like being a stagnant pool of water with mosquitos but being in a dead relationship might be, like theirs appears to be.

I feel like the only purpose of this video was to make me feel bad about being monogamous so they can feel better about being poly. Thank you, but this makes it hard for me to support you! You're judging me, eventhough I defend you're sexuality all the time. My love is not like a caged bird or a rotten lake, my partner is free and chooses to be with me, we have perfect communication and share everything together. Please just stop bringing others down to make yourself feel better.

just wait till one you u falls in love with their sex partners and leave the primary partner for good. Polyamarous relations are a disaster waiting to happen , either by heartbreak or by STD

Surprisingly negative comments. People are different, no need to hate on other peoples' lifestyle choices. Jeez.

To me my boyfriend is the most wonderful perfect beautiful loving most handsome man in the world and I would never want anyone else I don't understand this shit

This has nothing to do with open-mindedness but everything to do with corroding a healthy and meaningful relationship. The analogy with a caged bird is moronic and absurd in every sense. Anyone with the RIGHT partner is COMPLETE. Ultimately from what I got out of this is COMMUNICATION and HONESTY. And most often the lack of both is what leads to a failed relationship. It really isn't rocket science.

this is cool. it's not my style, but I think it's great these people have found a fulfilling way to healthily express their love and meet their needs. open-mindedness is key.

So for someone who's been doing this a while, I want to answer some questions. 1. Most guys get freaked out if you tell them your poly. So no, not that easy. 2. To me these guys seem decently hapoy together. Everything will always look akward on camera. This is a deeply personal reveal. 3. OPEN COMMUNICATION. seriously, this is the largest thing! People dont know how to do this on average. That's why they cant picture this happening.

The poly community is hilarious. There's an odd trend in their community where the more bizzarre and ridiculous your relationship is, the more "progressive" you are considered. Glad I'm normal.