It's so strange to be able to feel a stranger's grief like this. This is a really powerful video and I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you all the healing vibes. You are so strong. ❤

I've been following your story for awhile but am not the type to comment in general, but I just want you to know how many of us, silent or not, are rooting for you and so much want nothing but joy and love and light in your life. Your strength and grace are so so inspiring, and I hope that after all you've had to overcome, you now have some time to take care of yourself.

Oh Emily. I don't even have words. I've followed your's and Martin's journey for years and I have always been amazed by your strength and encouragement. Despite everything, you have been an utter constant for all the kids and you are just incredible. Thank you so much for sharing because, as ever, you didn't have to. I'm an utter mess and in tears so I can't imagine how hard it is for you. Your sister is very thoughtful and I'm sure you treasure his words every single day. I'm sure it's somewhere very special and safe. I'd always wondered if Martin wrote letters for you and the children and it's wonderful to hear that he did. Always thinking of you 💕

this is the most beautiful bittersweet thing I have watched in a long time! thank you for sharing! I feel like we don't share these types of moments with others enough.

Oh, Emily - this video made me cry right along with you. Thank you for sharing this video with us. Your face was showing so many emotions and I wish I could just give you the biggest hug. Being able and willing to share these moments I think will help you cope because grief is such a powerhouse to get through.

I cried watching this. I finished chemo 3 months ago at the age of 19 and am in remission. I am forever grateful to God for allowing me to live.

Where is the I LOVE THIS BUT BAWLED LIKE A FRIGGIN BABY button??? Whew! Wow!! Thank you for sharing that moment with us!! What a gift to receive!! Your sister is awesome!! You can tell she's your sister because she talks and sounds just like you! Hahaha! I know this journey is hard to do on your own, with your kids, but the journey is not forever, but eternity with your sweetheart and your babies, is! Thank goodness, too! Sending gentle hugs!!💖💖💖

Emily 💗💗💗. I have tears streaming down my face. What a special gift. Martin loved you so; no denying that. One moment at a time and you will get through this 💗💗💗

It's a blur, and it's something that will never leave you. You're so strong, please know you can do this!! He will choose someone for you one day, and you'll think you'll never ever be happy again, but know he is searching for you. He wants you to be happy..... it might be tomorrow, or ten years from now, but it will happen. I know because I watched my mother go through being a very young widow. Stay strong, and heal without judgment.

Richard sounds amazing, like such a sweet, nurturing person. I'm so glad that you found your way back to each other and that you can have such support as you grieve and move forward with your life and your children. Thank you for sharing such a sweet moment with us!

I'm going to make sure to hug my husband extra tight tonight, Emily you are so brave and inspiring to share this💜

Only three minutes into this video and I'm already in tears. My heart goes out to you ❤ Know that you are always in my prayers❤❤❤

Heartbreaking... I cried watching this. I am in awe of your strength & courage!

I have tears streaming down my cheeks. When I read how Martin loved plants it made my heart sink because my husband does too. I cannot imagine, you show so much strength. I'm sorry for your loss. Your story has truely touched me. Thank you for sharing this moment.

I just can't begin to imagine the magnitude of your grief. Lifting you up in prayer as you walk this walk.

Emily, I just wish I could give you a big long hug. I found you shortly after he was diagnosed, but I can only imagine how hard it must be. I had my first major encounter with death today, but it was only my sister's dog, and as much as it hurts, it's nothing to losing a family member or spouse. It seems like you have a great group of people around you, but I know that can only help so much. Thank you for sharing! I know I will experience loss in my life, and your being vulnerable and open shows me and others what the grieving process looks like. How messy it can be, how it can sweep you off your feet when you least expect it. I love your heart to hearts. They're the best.❤️ Love you, and you're always in my prayers!💞

I started following you a long time ago when you were part of an instagram giveaway and as I went back through to unfollow everyone when the giveaway was over i chose to keep following you because your life seemed so interesting and your hair was really awesome. To see how much your life has changed in that time is just a reminder that life is totally unpredictable no matter how much we plan, and sometimes we are forced into situations we never considered a possibility. I almost feel like I don't deserve to know this much about you! You have to be one of the strongest people I've ever seen. Thank you so much for sharing this video.

Such a beautiful reminder! Watching you read, hearing those sweet words, and seeing the temple on the back wall just melted my heart. Your story, journey, strength, heartache, etc. it is beautiful and helps me remember to always keep my eternal focus in life. sending love and a giant virtual hug. I am thankful to have watched your journey from a far for these last few years.

I am so awed and grateful for the surprisingly deep connection with total strangers this new age of technology brings. Thank you for sharing this, Emily. It's rare to be given the privilege of peering into and sharing in the deep well of emotions of others. It is dark and beautiful, delicate and hope-filled . ((hugs))

Just started watching your videos (had read your story) and this one was incredibly raw and moving. I've never had a youtube video move me to tears before. I started thinking about all the petty fights I had even just today and how silly, what a waste of time. Your story puts things in the right perspective and reminds me to be so much more grateful. Thank you so much for sharing. You are so strong and an inspiration to many. Praying for you!

That's so so beautiful. Such a beautiful gift from your sister. It's so hard to remember the time losing someone you love so hard, not just because it's so painful, but also everything happens seems so foggy and unreal. I wish i had a remembrance to hold, to read and to touch from my aunt that came from her personaly. She was like a mom to me and i miss her every day. Give your sister a big hug from me! I feel warmth and love inside of me watching this, thanks for sharing xoxo :)

This glimpse, this tiny glimpse into what you feel all the time (I know you have so much joy with your kids and husband but these feelings of grief too). This was so gracious of you to let us in on. I'm 100% positive this is helping others and will for years to come. Such a sweet gift of your sis. Blessings to you Emily.

Gosh this completely broke my heart. Such a special gift. Grief is so difficult...the ebbing and flowing. My prayers go out to you Emily. Xoxo

I've been a follower of you since before Lydia was born. Since the diagnosis I've been keeping you in my prayers. Watching you go through this has been incredibly heartbreaking but also beautiful. I've seen you grow and change into a much stronger person. I have an incredibly amount of respect for everything you've done. Martin will never be away from you. He will always be in your heart and every time you need a reminder you can just take a look at those 5 beautiful babies you made together. No one blames you for moving on. It's important and such a major part of life. Maybe (if you're willing) you could introduce Richard to us and tell us how you met again? However if it's something you want to keep private, than it's something we will all understand

wow Emily. thank you for being courageous enough to let us in on this sacred moment with your sister. I'm sure many can agree that we feel lucky to share in your triumphs, joy, and memories but the tenderness of grief that can be truly felt even from a far through a lense, is so tangible. Your strength inspired me to follow you, but your real moments (like this) have touched my life in an eternal way. all the hugs ♡♡♡

What is remembered, lives. So many tears as I watched this. You are so brave and vulnerable and amazing for sharing your grief with the world. Big virtual hugs to you from Maryland.

This was so sad but so beautiful. I've been following you for a few years now and yours and Martin's relationship was (and still is) such an inspiration. Thank you for sharing this with us all x

You're so strong, Emily. What a beautiful gift from your sister and a heartfelt message from Martin. I am sure he is looking down on you and the kids so very proud of his family. You're an inspiration ❤ ❤ ❤

I have not been able to get you off my mind for months! I take you everywhere. I've told so many your story, only because I can't get you and your family out of my heart! Two years ago a friend of mine lost her husband in a tragic work accident, leaving his wife of 7 1/2 years, 3 yr old son and 6 month old son behind. It was the most devastating time of my life. I know that sounds silly, because my family was so perfectly in tact, but feeling an ounce of her grief overwhelmed me and I would just spill out tears everyday for months, at the thought of what she must be feeling! I feel the same for you and I don't understand why. I've never met you but I love you (your sweet kiddos & Richard) , I pray for you, and I'm somehow, all the way from North Carolina gonna help you guys carry this journey!

I want to give you such a tight hug right now, it breaks my heart to see anyone suffering like you are. It will get better... I lost my ex to drugs and suicide five years ago... I too know how the time after the trauma is a forgotten fog. I also know the guilt that comes with moving on and loving again. My husband, my angel, has been the most patient, most loving, most supportive person I could ever have hoped for to help me through that time. It took me a long time to believe him when he said to talk about everything with him, to not hold anything in; because, like you, I worried about him getting sick of hearing about why I was sad or in a bad mood again or fighting old battles inside my head or if I'd had another bad dream or a memory... but I've learned over time that he meant it--and still means it today just like I'm sure your Richard means in. Listen to him, and talk to him. The fog WILL lift, the anxiety and guilt WILL get better, the memories will fade from the front of your mind, but will never completely go away--which can be a blessing and a curse... before you know it a year will have passed, then two, then three, and so on. You are so strong and WILL keep on keeping on. Love from one red-headed and freckled fox to the other ❤️

Sat in bed watching this whilst my husband fights terminal cancer and I'm sobbing my heart out! I'm scared and don't know how you are managing!

Had I known that searching for your rope braid tutorial that I’d watched last year would take me through this journey you’ve been through for these past few years, I’d have set aside more time. Two hours of videos later and I feel like I know you, Emily. I’m so sorry, sweet sister, for the heartache you’ve had. But I wish you, Richard and your 5 Littles and the little on the way all God’s best. I admire your strong faith strength and candidness. You have touched so many hearts without even realizing it 💖

Em- I am bawlin. Watching this was heart wrenching. The end when you speak of separating every day to flash backs- ouch. Being with Mary and witnessing the same thing is so difficult. We clean out a box or two from the garage and that is all that we can handle, then we just start crying and wait another month to touch anything else. I cannot say enough how beautiful of an example you are. You are a special woman and a child of our Heavenly Father. The Doran's love you!!! And I appreciate what you share.

That was the most raw, beautiful thing. Thanks for sharing. My husband was gone for military training at the same time Martin died and I think I transfers some of my loneliness/frustration into martin's death. Every time you talk about him it reminds me of that time and not to take my husband for granted. Thanks you

Emily, There are no words to express to you how truly sorry I am for your loss. I have been following you for awhile now (when you did the hair tutorials) and throughout the entire past year and had always kept your family in my thoughts and prayers. Grieving is different for everyone one, but your strength and courage through all of this is truly inspirational. Your ability to see the good in all things is amazing, and I hope one day I can be as courageous and positive as you are! Thank you for sharing that very beautiful, yet raw and emotional moment between you and your sister. You did NOT have to share that at all, but thank you for that. The gift was beautiful, and I know you will cherish you forever. I will continue to pray for you and your family, God bless you Emily! - Lauren

Thank you for sharing such a raw and beautiful piece of Martin with us. I wanted to reach through the camera and give you the biggest hug! ❤️ I know you hear this all the time, but you are incredible! I'm so glad you have Richard by your side to help you and bless your life as you pick up the pieces!

I am so in awe of your strength and I admire you so much for being able to share your heart so freely with all of us. Continued prayers for you and your precious babies. ❤️

Emily, You are so amazing - I sobbed this morning while watching this video and prayed for you and your family. Thank you for being so open and allowing all of us to remember what is truly important in life. Sending so much love. ❤

You are so strong. Thank you for sharing such a special moment with us. I came across you and your story not too long ago, but have grown to enjoy you and your very sweet spirit. I am so sorry for your loss. But am wishing you lots of peace and joy in your life. You have a beautiful family ❤️

I am so sorry for your loss and the grief you have had to go through and continue to go through. That said you are an inspiration to me, and as you can see in the comments, so many others. I cannot imagine going through what you have and you have handled it with such grace. As you opened your letter and read those words I cried right along with you and it's crazy how one can feel some of the emotions we see through a video. Such a sweet moment, thank you for sharing.

How sweet of your sister....I am so glad you feel you can share such a personal memory ..God Bless you and your little family....one day at a time...one step at a time....much love and prayers...

Thank you... thank you for sharing this. This brought me back to when my mom passed. I remember everything so vividly, and then there's times I don't know even how to express the overwhelming grief that hits. Your story is something incredible, but sharing it with the world-I don't think you understand how healing this can be.

Emily you're such a giant of strength! thank you for sharing your life with so many. what an irreplaceable gift sweet Jordan helped Martin give. hugs

You're story is so inspirational to me. I look up to you in so many ways especially as a mother and wife. My dad died when I was 5, my sister was 12 and my mom was 37. He was fishing with my uncle in a tournament and because it was a windy day.... the boat was tipped over and he drowned. I was only 5 but my memories of him are the most clear memories I have. Most of my family lived out of state. My moms parents moved less than a mile from us when he died. With their help my mom was able to raise both of us girls. Today I am 24 and my mom has told me stories about how after my dad died she worried that my sister and I would be sad all the time. Anytime I saw her crying she said that I would put my hands on her face and say momma are you okay. She said that anytime I sensed her being sad I was right there asking her if she was okay ( apparently I wouldn't even let her cry in the bathroom) my mom asked a therapist if she should be worried about me asking if my mom was okay all the time. The therapist said " as long as Kara sees that you are okay she will be okay." My mom told me her time to cry was when she would shower, when she knew I wouldn't worry about her being okay. So always remember mourn when you can, and as long as your kids see that you are okay... they will be okay. My mom did an amazing job with my sister and I. And now that I am 24 years old and I have read your blogs and watched your videos I am amazed at the strength you have had through all of this. I couldn't imagine experiencing that at my age. I must tell you that the memories you have of Martin that you share with your kids is what will make them feel close to their dad and help with the sadness. I agree that with time it gets harder because it feels like they are farther away. But also with time it can become easier to accept what has happened. Although there will still be moments of sadness, out of nowhere that you cry because you miss them. Myself and my mom have talked about that. April 21, 1997 is when my dads accident occurred. Every year my mom, sister and I are sensitive around this time and eventually we realize it's because it s the anniversary of my dads death. This week I have been cleaning out our office and came across cards from loved ones when he passed and a box labeled "mark wisner " ( my dads name) I saw his officiall bachelor of science osu degree, tears fled from my eyes because in January I graduated from osu with my bachelor of science. You, Martin, your kids, as well as Richard are all so inspirational in your story and I know from how you speak of him it won't be hard to keep his spirit alive. I appreciate you sharing your story, and the person that you are ❤️❤️❤️ I hope somewhere in this you can find comfort knowing you aren't alone. I'm posting this on all of your social media hoping you are able to read this.

You are such a beautiful woman! I never knew that I could feel even remotely a small amount of what you are going through until now. I started following you just a short time before you lost martin. Seeing more into your life and with this season has really opened my eyes to lots of things and really makes me appreciate so many more things in my life. From the little glimpse of what I see I know this much; you are a strong, loving, caring, and patient woman! I admire you for sharing the deepest, darkest, and hardest moments in your life. God Bless. I pray his memories can stay with you and that your loved ones can gently remind you ever so often of martin. ;-)

I don't normally comment on videos but i just want you to know this touched me so deeply. Your strength and courage are inspiring and your story and example make me want to be the best wife and mom i can be. It's humbling to watch your strength and watching this filled me with so much gratitude for my amazing husband and reminded me yet again to treasure and cherish him every day. Thank you

This was such an intimate and beautiful thing. Thank you for sharing it with us. I was sobbing by the end. You are such a strong, beautiful spirit and you inspire me. All my love Em.

I have a text that my sweet Daddy sent to me just days before he past from a very short fight from stage 4 metastatic pancreatic cancer. Due to very high ammonia levels he was incoherent towards then end but in a fleeting moment clarity he sent us "Love you all Im not dreams night night all love you" How very special for your family to scribe your husbands words to you for you! What a beautiful keepsake ❤️

Oh Emily, what a very wonderful thing for him to do for you. He loved you completely and always will. Look out for little gifts etc that he sends to you. Love you dearly my sister in Christ. The price we pay for loving others is a very painful one, but you've a lifetime of memories that will keep you going. Remember you go one day at a time and do what you want to do. We're all behind you all and those little babies. I've felt the grief of losing my step mum, but never a partner that I loved. Know your in my prays xx

😢😢😥 hurts my heart to try to imagine your feelings. you're so strong and brave. watching your face change as you opened it just made me burst into tears💚💚

Ive just stumbled upon this. You are such a warrior. Ive followed you on Instagram for a while and found your KZfaq today. I hope to be as strong as you somday. This had me in tears! You are amazing. Your family is so beyond beautiful. I hope all is well with you and your sweet family and your new baby❤

Oh sweet Emily, thank you for touching my heart and sharing your grief. I'm rooting for you and your family through these tough times and going to cherish all that I have been blessed with even more, starting right now ❤️

Oh Emily... how can a moment be so beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. Thank you so much for sharing this, sending you love.

Wow Emily, you are so strong and brave to let everyone see your pain. At first I didn't understand how you could fall in love and marry so quickly, but now it is so clear how special Richard is and how he is there to help you through your mourning, not to just replace Martin. You are blessed. Thank you for sharing this journey. I am sure you are helping more people than you realize!

What a priceless gift. ❤💔 My heart is breaking for you.

I have no real words. Just a deeper understanding of your sorrow.

Emily, thank you for sharing such a moment with us. I've followed your family's story since pre-cancer diagnosis and have never commented before, but this was just so special and sweet and heartbreaking. Love to you and your sweet family. ❤

Ugh, cried so hard. You were so brave to share this with others. Good luck in your future endeavors.

My heart goes out to you! You are a source of strength and encouragement! I can’t imagine what you went through!

Praying for you, dear Emily. ❤

I'm speechless Emily. Thank you for sharing such a special moment and those sacred and personal memories. I know it will help others that are in the middle of similar storms. I feel closer to you and am grateful that you felt the urge to share with those of us you will never meet. We love you and your little family from afar and I hope you feel that. What a sweet sister. Bless you love. ❤️

You are actually one of the most beautiful people Emily. You were blessed with wisdom beyond your years. Your grace and soul is so special. Thank you for sharing. This certainly has an impact on me. ❤️☝🏼

Even though I have never met you and I never will, probably, I have so much love in my heart for you and your sweet family. Happy Easter, Emily. And that Richard sounds like a simply lovely man. 👍🏻

You and your family are truly special. Tears. hugs.hugs.hugs. Stay strong freckled fox. ❤

I am so thankful that you shared this with all of us. I needed this today. I needed to see and feel a real, full, true love existing. Your tears and his words together, have such a strong pull at the heart. You speaking about the memories of the end of his life..it was so vivid and beautiful in a tragic way. You are amazing to let others in to see and feel your pain ..and love. Thank you for sharing your life with all of us ❤

Emily, not everyone goes through the struggles you have gone through. You are a special person God put in this earth for a reason. Your soul is unique and amazing. Keeping you in mu prayers.

you never cease to stop my heart. all my love.

Emily, thank you for sharing this I was quite surprised that you did. It is a beautiful moment and so many special memories shared. It was heartbreaking to watch but I hope therapeutic for you. It may be an idea to record more conversations of memories of your Martin to preserve for yourself and the kids for when the memories get a bit harder to recall. I'm a distant viewer but always keeping an eye out for what you and your cute littles are getting up to. I pray Gods peace will be over you guys and you will feel Jesus' loving arms around you always. Lots of Love from Perth in Western Australia, Emily x

Thank you for sharing such a close personal video. I cried right along with you. You are so strong and know that even though we may be strangers to each other I'm always wishing you nothing but the best.

💖Your community is here to help you through it if you need anything. He will be forever remembered. Take time if you need it at tough moments, and this was an amazing video.😊👍🏻

Thank you for sharing and being so vulnerable. Your strength and grace continue to amaze and inspire me.

Wow, Emily. I'm sitting here crying right along with you. Thank you for sharing your love for Martin and the pain of his loss with us. Sending you love xx

I just recently subscribed to you, and had no idea ❤ You are so strong! And you have such a sweet sister to do this for you! 😊

Oh Lord.. I bawled my eyes out this hole video! Sounds weird because I don't know you personally but I remember the day he passed away so vividly. I remember your post about his death and I remember crying so hard and praying for you! I couldn't and still can't imagine going through what you had to go through. It's my worst nightmare.. I'm so happy for you and Richard. Martin for sure played a role in you finding someone so quickly! You and your kids deserve to be happy! You should talk about their dad and take your time to grief. It's so important if you want to find comfort and keep his memories alive! :) praying for you!

I cried right along with you Em. I feel your raw pain in my heart. I'm happy for your videos, they help me grow as I hope and imagine they help you heal at least 1%. We all love you and cheer for you and cry with you and join you in your life and your experiences. We all love you and your family. And it sounds really strange from strangers, but sometimes strange is just what you need. ❤

well I just bawled my eyes out. that was absolutely beautiful. Thank you for posting such an open, honest, and genuine video.

I love you so much. thank you for being so courageous and bearing your soul to the internet. you empower me. and I love your genuine-ness.

awww wow my tears are flowing now. I've followed you awhile on IG but just found your channel. I wish i could take just a small piece of your grief away even if just for a moment .....but i hope you can feel the love from people around the social media community and those who are near to you in real life. I hope time and God's love make your daily walk easier though xoxoxo

Oh my heart. I cried with you this entire video. You're so strong. xo

Thank you so much for sharing. That means so much. So emotional and genuine and beautiful. Thank you for making me cherish the everyday moments and love life. You're so special. Thank you.

Oh my goodness...I don't think I've ever sobbed at a KZfaq video until now. ❤️

I just cried so much with you dear Emily. I send you a hug ❤️

You have so much strength. I know I'm a stranger but I wish I could give you a hug right now ❤

Oh Emily, my heart still breaks with you. Thank you for sharing a moment and your memories xx

This made me bawl. You are such an inspiration, Emily. I can't even imagine.

This was incredible to to watch, thanks for sharing this side of you. Reminds me to hug mine a little tighter and thank God he's still here. And for that, I truly believe you will be rewarded in heaven 😘 God bless you!!!!!!!!

Emily, thank you for baring your beautiful heart. you are such a strong, inspiring woman. inspiring isn't a word strong enough to express what I think of you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Thank you for sharing this intimate moment with us. Your a strong person and a great person/mother/friend.

You my dear, are NOT a mess. You are so strong.

So beautiful and heart wrenching at the same time. Sending prayers and livr

Oh that was so beautiful and painful to watch, I can't imagine your suffering but I admire your strength

This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

Thank you for sharing this. I bawled with you! You're very strong and have such a strong spirit!

Oh Emily, I'm sure I'm not alone in saying that if all of us were in the room with you in that moment, it would have been a crying fest with the most amazing hugs from us all at once. Xx

Tears flowing like crazy here 😢 We all miss Martin so much I can't ever imagine the loss you are feeling. Biggest hugs my Sweetest Emily 😘🐬

Awe. Your pup knew you needed some love and support

It is very brave for you to share this video. You are an amazing person. I hope your heart heals. ❤

so much love for you, Martin and the beautiful family you've made ❤❤

you might not feel strong but you definitely are! praying God gives you peace and comfort! ❤️

I'm weeping through this video. Holy Spirit, touch Emily with your comfort and strength.