This was supposed to be a segment of a larger video, however Ricards story really touched me. I decided to dedicate the video to him and hopefully give him a tribute that he deserves.

This man was so brave to document his suffering online for all to see in hopes that one day he could save a life

This doesn't sound like FFI. It sounds more like Spontaneous Fatal Insomnia, SFI. Even rarer than FFI. Prion diseases are horrifying. May Ricard rest in peace.

This legit made me cry, you can hear in his voice how miserable he feels. He just wanted to spend time with his family, why wouldn't his body just.. sleep? Good, fucking god. I hate how common situations like this are. The human body is so weak, and it's so heartbreaking to see what these people go through, they don't get a change to go out peacefully like anyone else usually would, they get their life pulled away from them by something they can't control. God, if there's anything I want most. I really want society to figure out how to end shit like this, and make sure it doesn't get into the hands of money crazy freaks.

This is so sad. Hearing his awareness that he's going to die, and then him saying "I don't want to die" really shook me.

This really isn't even that scary so much as it is horrifically depressing. God bless him and his family.

The fact there exist billionaires while this man had to suffer and die because he couldn't afford treatment is so sick.. there are no words for how sick that is.

Seriously reading that final message to Ricard's son, it put me in tears. It's genuinely sad and he knew he wouldn't make it, that's sad knowing he lived in so much pain.

Poor man, he was living a normal life and got a disease that he could not cure no matter how hard he tried 😢

I'm already familiar with Ricard's story, but I'm always interested to hear it told again. It was truly, truly brave of him to document his experiences and suffering, I hope that it will someday help doctors save other people in the same situation.

Him saying I don’t want to die got me, like come on. He has a son! He is gonna grow up knowing his father had such a gruesome death! And that last message was so sad like oh my god.

prion diseases are terrifying. they cannot be cured as of now, unfortunately. im currently hyperfixated on prion diseases (specifically cjd) and this video really affected me. thank you for sharing the word about prion diseases, even though prions themselves were never mentioned.

This is perhaps the saddest video i've ever watched. I actually cried at the end.

This is terrifying and tragic. Two years ago I suffered from acute severe insomnia due to getting off of a medication I was taking for several years, and I went six full days without sleep. I truly believed I was going to die. There are no words for just how ugly, painful, disgusting, and hopeless it feels to go so long without sleep. You get delusional and even just 3 hours of sleep feels good, but your brain and entire body are constantly feeling like they're buzzing and twitching while being drenched with poison. I can't even imagine how much pain he was in to experience that for several months. Hearing that he wasn't able to afford treatment was gut wrenching. He was a person. He was a human being with a life and a soul. There is no reason why he couldn't have been treated except for money - money that EXISTS, money that is hoarded by wealthy assholes with private yachts and jets and $50,000 handbags. It's really a shame. I'm happy that he at least is resting now.

Learning about this story created a new crippling fear in me

man this is a really sad story... thanks for posting this

"How long could you last?" In my youth? Like 3 days. Now? 10 minutes.

this is one of the main reasons why im going to be a neurologist. i’ve always been fascinated yet terrified by prion diseases and other neurological ailments, i only considered becoming a neurologist when I got older due to my great-grandad being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. I want to prevent horrifying stuff like this happening.

Only three minutes in and I had to stop watching because I couldn't handle the pain in his voice, the despair he must've gone through, but not only that - I understand his circumstances on a deep personal level. I have had recurring UTIs for over a decade and spent 90% of it without insurance. I've tried all kinds of antibiotics available, and it just terrifies me to know this happened to someone going through the same circumstances as mine. I'll come back to watch the rest of it when I'm in a better state of mind. Thank you for sharing his legacy with us all, it's very important to bring awareness to such things.

God this is depressing. My heart bleeds for the angel that was Ricard. I hope he rests in peace, may his son and wife always remember him.

the thing that breaks me is the fact that when this man was moments away from death he probably thought he was finally falling into a decent peaceful sleep

The loss of his youtube channel is heartbreaking.

that silence at the end was powerful, such a tragic story

Reading the comments is gut wrenching. What the hell? This is a horrible fate to someone that didn’t deserve it at all. I hope his family can manage to move on from this, I can’t bear to imagine the pain he went through.

dude this is so messed up, I can’t even make a dark humor joke out of it, this is genuinely depressing to see a man’s mental health deteriorate, and know why but can’t help, just seeing him go more insane and more insane is just depressing, Just watching a man through his videos slowly going insane..

What an extremely sad story. He was going crazy and had no way of stopping it. R.I.P Richard Siagian..

I suffer with pretty bad insomnia but I definitely get some sleep to survive so this is pretty scary for me

I feel so bad...he just wanted to be there for his son...now he can't do that...Im happy he's at peace in heaven.what a good man.😩

One of the most depressing videos I’ve seen. May he rest in peace, I felt that. He shall be remembered.

That message at the end... This man is an amazing father, i hope he finds peace and i hope his son always remember that message.

the boss that gave him that shit should be in jail. they're lowkey responsible for that shit. I feel like whatever fucked up chemicals where in those pills woke up some dormant brain function.

He was so depressed. His conspiracy theory vs practice meant that the elites turned our "practice" of questioning and doubting the same elites into a "theory" so if someone does question or doubt the elites they may sound crazy. So, instead of saying someone is a conspiracy theorist, we should say a person is practicing their freedom to think.

Since the first time I watched a video about this poor man's illness I keep a tab pinned in my Firefox with a Google searched that says: "Ciprofloxacine danger", it's in spanish as I live in a spanish living country and that way I can show it to everyone around me if necessary and keep in mind how awful that medicine is.

God damn, that last message to his son has me crying at work.

This is why universal health care for everyone is important, it also discourages people to seek help because of high cost, they’d rather be in pain or almost die than have to pay. Pay walling healthcare is unethical and inhumane.

throughout the whole video I wasn't sure if this was a project or real. It's horrible that this did happen and people actually suffer this. I feel the doctor that wanted all that money is terrible. This was a dying and desperate man in pain and instead of working with him to actually save this man's life you rather have him pay money he can't. I hate the healthcare system and how it makes suffering people in a situation they don't need. I hope his family and son are healthy and okay. Rest in Peace Ricard Siagian.

I literally just watched scare theaters take on this story from a few years ago for the first time on this a few hours ago, what are the chances you’d get around to it the same day. That adds to the spookiness for me…

This is depressing, watching someone slowly lose their mind. when all they want is their son, and sleep. I feel deeply heart broken for the son, although he might've not known what his father was going through at the time. I really hope in the future no one suffers like this

I feel for Ricard. I used to have really bad insomnia. The muscle cramps and extreme soreness, cold sweats and severe metabolic disruption. Terrible experience. RIP Ricard.

When I clicked on this video, I was not expecting a feels trip. Fly high, Ricard. o7

First fantastic work on the video but I got to say this is got to be one of the saddest ones I've watched on your Channel, I hope his kid is doing okay

Its really hard to watch a man be able to achieve anything a family could ever desire, only to get it taken away in such a painful way. May him and his family find peace and hopefully better days find them ❤

I thought this was pixels after dark not depression after dark

RIP Richard. I can feel the desperation. He's resting now... He's earned the rest tho it wasn't warranted nor wanted in the begining.

At least Ricard is finally resting after all these months

Life is scary, something so tragic can happen in one day when you least expect it. Take the death if my mother. She died from a disease. One day, she is still sick, but I’m sure she’ll get better, why wouldn’t she? My mom ks strong. Next day, she’s dead, I’m just waiting for her to come back to life like in the movies, but it doesn’t happen.

I had a similar "thing" happen to me. I would have no sleep at all for over a week sometimes and when I did sleep I was often jolted into consciousness by what felt like a tense brace for impact from a fall. I really identified with the way he described his symptoms.

Watching this during the middle of the night hits different

Rip souls are never forgotten

As a severe insomnia sufferer myself, this hit close to home. So so sad. Poor guy.

His farewell note to his son was so heartbreaking. Ive never heard of Ricard before but I wont forget him now.. thanks for uploading this

It’s unfortunate how life can be so cruel to good people sometimes. 😢 I hope his family was able to move passed this.

That sudden ending… holy shit

I had what I call a bad case of insomnia one time in my teens, I was unable to sleep for 11 days. I was exhausted and felt like Ricardo & started losing touch with reality. My body would jump like that and twitch and no matter what I tried to do or take I couldn’t sleep. I have had many other episodes of insomnia but nothing as intense as that episode. I am SO incredibly thankful that through medication (one that I take for my nerves) and what I believe to be sheer luck, I was able to begin sleeping again and now that I’m an adult.. I am still on some medications but have been able to stop 1 of my sleeping medications and as long as my stress levels are down and my mental health is in a good place, I am able to sleep like a mostly regular person again. I am so thankful and incredibly sad that Ricardo wasn’t given a chance to do what his body was meant to do. PS I did have to take that same medication as Ricardo before but I can’t remember what for or if it had anything to do with my insomnia issues.

Came here for the spooks, left crying This is so sad-

Reading the message from his son made me tear up😢.

This is a serious topic, so I do not want to spread misinformation. As a preface to my hypothesis, I will state that I am NOT a licensed physician. After watching the videos of Chay "Ricard" Siagian, a few things seemed to be inconsistent with the prognosis-since my reasearch showed no formal diagnosis (only journalists using the term "diagnosis" as a synonom for prognosis). In my personal opinion, Chay's symptoms, and other symptoms not mentioned, (but that you can see exhibited in his videos) present themselves as those of heavy metal toxicity, that then became exacerbated by the Ciprofloxacin. Again in my opinion, I don't think he had a UTI, I believe he was starting to show signs of HMT. As a tattoo artist, he would be around a lot of inks that contain varying mixtures of these exact metals. I will not speculate here, as it is not productive, on the specifics of "how" my proposed hypothesis occured. With all things considered, I ended my research of Chay Siagian feeling like a lot of the evidence didn't sufficiently add up, and wanted to express my uncertainties on this medical anomaly. My condoleces to his family and friends. He was a fantastic artist.

I used to not be able to sleep, I was so scared every night (I didn’t know abt this) I was scared creatures like the rake existed one night I stayed up till 2AM playing games till I got tired but not I can sleep normally but every day I feel a little angrier prob bc of the sleep problem but Ricardo’s case is way worse

when you want to help someone but accidentally destroy them this is really sad. if only everyone could access healthcare.

I’m so sorry this happened to you, Ricard. You deserved better. But thank you for documenting everything in the hopes that someday you could save another life. I truly hope you rest in peace.

Hearing him say "I wish I never woke up. Ever" really hit home as it brought back a really hard time I was having a year after I moved to a new place. Back in 2019, I was in pain I didn't even know was possible as I experienced both Psoriasis on my skin (The worst being on my abdomen, to the point where moving side to side felt like my skin was being torn off) AND Psoriatic Arthritis in my legs. Between normal things like taking shower being a nightmare with my legs locking up to having abdominal pain that made trying to get up miserable and getting sleep feel like it was impossible, I was at a point where I was genuinely having thoughts like that (Hell, I was even wishing to just have my life ended then to continue suffering like this while having no answer at that point for the amount of time I went through that). Thank you for making and posting this video, I've been dealing with some emotional issues and this poor man's suffering brought back those memories from what I felt was a really low point for me and really put into perspective how lucky I am even if most of the time I don't ever feel like it.

This is a wonderful tribute for Ricard. What a brave soul to document this scary situation & let others try to learn things from it 🖤🖤

I'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry i'm not gonna cry I cried

May Ricard rest in peace, a strong father who just wanted to raise his child in happiness. I wish the best for his son as well and hope he is doing ok today.

Just got this video in My KZfaq recommendations! Subscribed right after this video. Keep up the good work. Your content is really well thought out and presented so great!

As someone who suffers with chronic insomnia I can understand how he’s feeling to a certain degree. The longest I’ve gone is 72hrs with about 3-4 hours sleep. I was hallucinating, paranoid, my brain felt like it was melting, my heart started to have issues. I still struggle to sleep now. We try really hard not to let it get past 24hrs as psychosis is easily triggered at that point and I can be in a very bad episode for a week or so.

i genuinely almost started to tear up at the end of the video

It woul be pretty cool if you could cover some of the old school yt horror mysteries, such as blank room soup, i feel fantastic, and obey the walrus. I actually love your content and your accent :D

horrible things happen to the best of us

I wouldn't dare to actually watch your videos after dark... I'm too much of a scaredy cat.

I'm taken aback by all the kind comments of ppl so affected by this guy's tragic story here. Because this is life. This type of tragedy and even crazier things happen to ppl every day. Why would he get some miraculous help? You're lucky if you have money or you have family to help. It's just luck. Rest in peace, my friend. You didn't deserve the pain, but there is comfort in knowing all things end eventually despite only wanting a good life. We all deserve that. A simple life with our loved ones. At least the pain eventually ended. I hope your son is well and can live a better life than what you needed to endure, and that even in hardship his memories of you will help him beat through.

I currently have a brain tumour and also experience chronic insomnia and this video has me in tears..poor man😢 I am a single mum and I am terrified of leaving my son, all the medicine I am on for the tumour have left me with so many side effects that I spend every day in bed but am still unable to sleep and it is a torturous way to go on.. I feel so sad for what this man went through.. I am actually an artist too and haven't been able to draw, tattoo or paint for the longest amount of time since I was a child and it effects my mental heath not being able to live my passion.. I don't think I've ever related to someone more. I have no money as i cant work and can't afford private healthcare but hopefully my story will end alot differently..praying for a miracle 🙏 I hope this man's family are all ok and its such a tragic story, he is not alone in his suffering and I wish he hadve known that before he left 😭 God I'm bawling this is so so sad

My job requires me to be available at a phone calls notice. I direct traffic for our local electric company. No one could relieve me and I had to work 2 days straight. I remember driving down a mountain and hallucinating, BADLY. I kept closing my eyes, drifting off the road, waking up and correcting myself. One time I closed my eyes, drifted and when I opened my eyes, I was only a couple feet from the back of a 16 wheeler. I aggressively turned, swerved all over the road but thankfully regained my control. I look back in the mirror and there was no truck. I could distinctly tell you the rust and mud patters on the back of the truck but it wasn’t even there. It’s crazy to think how your brain hallucinates just from lack of sleep

Definitely a hero. I’m sure his personal videos will be analysed by future researchers and AI to hopefully develop a cure

This man seems so sweet, it's so horrific he had to go through this, Rest In peace Richard.

this is depressing, he had something wrong with him so he went to his boss to ask him if he had anything and he was given medicine and it wasnt good for him but he didnt know and is rotting away slowly with only his kid to keep him from going completely insane and before he even died the kid was taken from him and had to suffer alone with nothing left but his mind. god bless his soul.

ricard will forever live on in our hearts.

Pixels bro... you made something beautiful i wanna thank you for your kindness.. you seem like a sweet guy who really cares about others.. people have stories of bad medical issues or problems.. not a lot of people care about them and they feel alone and scared i think we should be sharing those stories and hey if they are still their try and help em.. thanks for being a positive and caring person and an amazing content creator.. this beautiful video made me cry.. keep making these kinds of videos talking bout the hard subjects etc

I just discovered your channel, and I pray with all the recent youtube controversy and the onslaught of youtubers being revealed to be awful people - I pray you will never be ne of them. The way you spoke and empathized with this man with such warmth and deep compassion - I too often hear what people say, but never feel what they have said. SO I deeply want to hold onto the idea - you are being genuine and not have like 20 14 year old girls tied and gagged in your basement live ted bundy style. You have a great heart, and I can tell you are young - any believe me the world gets uglier the more you pull the curtain of politics, humanity, and history back. But that doesn't mean you should or will become ugly too. You gotta beautiful sou, and I hope Ricard Siagians soul rests peacefully and his life will not be in vain - but a symbol of creative passion loss because of the mechanical insects who put money above human life.

It's truly disgusting to me that the world let this man suffer so cruelly and die merely because he didn't have enough money. Especially the pharmaceutical industry should have helped this man. 😢 So many horrors came from this medication and many have had horrid negative side effects.

Regardless of whether or not someone can afford medical bills, they should always be able to get the treatment.

The little passage to his son at the end really touched my heart and made me cry

It's amazing that this man was able to document this. I don't believe that these videos would exist is they were posted now.

I'm going to be honest, i actually cried at the end. I wouldnt say i cry much over stuff like this, but the way you just slowly start connecting to this man while watching the videos.... Its like watching a friend slowly die.

This poor man, after 2 weeks with no sleep whatsoever I felt like I was literally dying. Even to this day my insomnia keeps me up for 2 days straight before I force myself to sleep for 14 hours after the 48 hours is up. It makes me hallucinate (not as much as I did when I was a severe insomniac.) This man probably feels like his body is failing. Dying must hurt.

nah bro that message to his son made me cry...poor soul may he rest in peace

This is so heartbreaking I can't possibly ever imagine what he was going through he was such a talented sweet man and great a beautiful brave father may his soul finally rest In peace

He could have gone to most emergency rooms and be treated and they would even connect him with agencies who would help him pay his bill. I'm very sad no one knew to tell him this.

9:15 it makes total sense. Conspiracy theories are sometimes just conspiracies. He was saying that those in control of the narrative label them as theories while they practice their conspiracies

New sub! I just found you. I am so happy you exist! Thanks for the content. Hugs from Las Vegas ❤

This one hit me hard. I’m especially sad because he didn’t get the help he needed. So often people are given miracles through communities, but this somehow got missed. He seemed like an amazing person.

I feel just like this man. I have not had a sound even 4 hours of sleep in my living memory since i was a child. Thankfully i still have a life and dont appear to be rapidly dieing and decending into madness. I do feel like i slowly am. I hope i can get better

So excited to watch this, I love pixels after dark

tbh, his “conspiracy theory” talk maintains trait of logic, i mean the message, as for getting across a thought through linguistic expression, works in this clip. is it a bit 4chan-ish? yep. a bit paranoid and stuff - sure. but it’s not an illustration of a man completely loosing his mind to the point when he just speaks gibberish. he basically says that the whole term “conspiracy theory” is supposedly popularized in this kinda wording to hide the fact that it’s a practice, so when you speak out the phrase, it already has an attached prejudice to it that it’s just a “theory”. like i said, yeah - its kinda overly paranoid, but not to the point when you just can’t tell what he’s talking about. no need to be over-dramatic while covering this story, it by itself is dramatic and tragic enough

I just woke up from a long and needed sleep, I’m soo glad I got to have it.

I used to suffer from insomnia the same exact way around the time I entered college. Went on for years like his, only two hours of sleep (which you need REM sleep for your body to recover so it does nothing) and somehow even when I was asleep I would feel anxious. Would wake up nauseous and have to throw up every morning at the start of the day to feel good enough to go to school and work. Finally on Thanksgiving I told my family I have to check myself in to a hospital because something isn't right. I guess I thought it was normal or just decided to deal with it, but it can break even the strongest person and robbed me of some of the prime years of my life. At least I was lucky enough to get help and can function again. Thank you for spreading his story, I know a lot of people don't take getting their sleep seriously enough. I hope anybody suffering like this can get help!

i had developed insomnia since a young kid who was homeschooled and stayed up late watching tv as my dad fell asleep on the couch, and didnt have to get up except to be starting school around 8 am. i didnt know my lack of true sleep was different throughout my young life because i was athletic and had excess energy to fight through it. when i graduated high school and started doing my own thing, i took this practice to the max and fueled it with mt dew and any cheap junk food i could find, and would stay up late gaming until no earlier than 2 am, though usually between 4-6 am. i was used to getting 1-4 hours of bedrest (not sleep) and just fighting the aggrivation until it wore off during the afternoon. then i burned bridges at my job and replaced it with a part time one. i also had to get another job to suppliment it. i was working between 51-60 hours a week on that same 1-4 hour sleep, and i think the stress almost killed me as my entire life was a nonstop adrenaline rush fueled by unhealthy food and competitive gaming. i lost both jobs due to them being seasonal, and i had umpteen time to do things, except i couldn't do anything because i was low on money and wasn't sleeping. i got so mentally delusional that i started to think satan was in everything and i was afraid to do anything because i thought it would corrupt me. i also did house chores that didnt need to be done so i could pretend i was a productive, disciplined person. long story short, i had to be hospitalized for 2 weeks and began taking 500 mg of seroquel and 15 mg of remron, to sedate me. insomnia is sufferable when you're young and fit, but completely controls your life once your metabolism slows down/ you have to work a lot. adulting is hard.

What a great day for a pixels after dark video

this is the saddest thing i’ve seen this month. i don’t usually get saddened when people die (because i don’t know them) but this guy just seems genuinely nice and i wish he was still living, may god bless him in heaven

The way he said help me at the end of the first video you showed that really broke my heart. You could hear he was desperate and you could hear the emotion in his voice. It's hard to imagine knowing you're going to die soon, and not being able to stop it. That scares me. A lot.