I have many of these signs but was never diagnosed in my life and now I'm 70! I was always just blamed and shamed that I wasn't behaving correctly.

Just diagnosed at 39 and feel so validated. I’m not lazy and stupid; I just don’t work in the same way. My kids clearly have it and we’re going to get them help early.

Listening to this is making me cry, i do every single one of these things. I’m 36 and i wish u could be my doctor.

Thank you Dr Kim for validating women and girls and all ADHD sufferers who thought they weren’t smart or worthy enough growing up. I’m a female in my mid fifties. I didn’t know I had inattentive ADD until I was 45 when my children were diagnosed with the disorder. Growing up in the 70’s and 80’s, no one knew or asked why I struggled in school. No one knew what ADD was back then. I went on to college but it was very difficult and I barely got my degree. Those years in school were traumatic and I still experience so much shame from feeling dumb and made to feel dumb. The bullying was incessant at school but also at home. My mother shamed me. I remember high school teachers yelling at me for not understanding the assignment and college professors laughing at me. I know so many others with undiagnosed ADD have experienced the same. I still have nightmares that I didn’t graduate high school or college. I know my kids suffered as well. I had so much trauma from school and teachers growing up, that when it came time to protect or stand up for my kids I froze. I now know more about the disorder and I explain to them why they might be feeling the way they do and how to handle its challenges. In my adult years I struggle with lack of motivation, procrastination, trauma, anxiety, depression and rejection. Social anxiety is always present and I worry if people like me. I do like myself when I’m a bit zany, out of the box thinking, funny and quick witted. I’m also a sensitive empath. Thank you for sharing your video!

I'm 17 and I started suspecting that I have ADHD when I was 15. Unfortunately I'm still not properly diagnosed. I don't want to self diagnose but this video just resonates with me so much..

Thank you. I also believe that childhood trauma is involved in the development of adhd.

I am 56 and I have many of these symptoms and was never diagnosed. I too, was told you’re just not applying yourself you’re just not trying hard enough. I was compared to my older brother who did everything right! It sucks for those of us who are older and have just been ridiculed and have been told it’s all in your head. Here I sit and it’s messed up a lot of my life because my parents didn’t want me to get checked out because then it would make or show that they failed as a parent which is ridiculous!!

Phew. The rejection sensitivity hit hard. So many of these fit me and I just thought it was my personality quirks. But...my oldest son has ADHD and my youngest is autistic with moderate support needs so, this makes a lot of sense.

I was diagnosed with ADHD at 43. Now I understand why I struggled in school and life.

My menstrual cycles were emotionally severe due to ADHD

💕Your videos are excellent, and your tone is gentle and full of wisdom.I am a female doctor with ADHD. I have almost all of these signs. I've had trouble focusing since I was a child. When I'm sitting there, my attention gets drawn to anything around me, and when I study, I can't focus for more than three minutes. I've always felt out of place. But I want to become a doctor. When I was preparing for the USMLE, while most people completed their Qbank in six months or a few months, it took me three years🤯. I couldn't focus, and after finishing one question, I wanted to do something else, like cleaning, watching TV, or listening to music. I simply couldn't concentrate. My mother always said that I never stuck to one thing, couldn't focus, and attributed all of this to my laziness and immature🥺. When I entered medical school and interned in the psychiatric department, my supervising doctor told me I had ADHD. I'm still working hard to improve myself now.

HOLY CRAP …my jaw DROPPED when you said autoimmunity and fibromyalgia. I have both. Also, yay for a narcissistic mother. I know that I have ADHD. I’m not diagnosed yet, but as soon as I’m able to NOT BREAK MYSELF BEING A KLUTZ (dislocated my kneecap on Easter), I want to get into my psychiatrist’s office and get tested. Also, that rejection dysphoria is so horrible. For me, it’s because of intimacy. My fucking mother told me I’d never be loved, so I sleep around to feel accepted. 💔 It is hell. Utter hell. And letting people down kills me. 🥺 AND CONSTANTLY COMPARING MYSELF TO OTHERS. “I’d kill to be that pretty/thin/strong. I wish my hair was like hers. My nose is disgusting.” It’s so painful… 😞 Thank you for making me feel so seen.

I am shocked that both myself and my daughter have the majority of these in the inattentive type. Wow. I'm not surprised as we both suffered trauma in childhood (generational).My daughter struggled at an early age with the relational and executive functioning aspects. Lack of focus day dreaming, the "ditsy-ness ". Over reaction to things, taking everything so personally. It makes me sad that she was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and depression but it could have been ADHD. 😔 Makes so much sense now. Thank-you so much.

I was diagnosed two years ago when I was 45. Everything, every moment, every stupidity made sense. I got answers to questions I never asked myself. I finally had explanations to so many things, but to unlearn old and learn new things is pretty tough in my age..

I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 12 or 13. I'm 42 now. Even though I was diagnosed, none of my teachers believed it was real. A lot of people still roll their eyes and think it's made up. It's extremely annoying and upsetting. I'm trying to get help and have been on a long waiting list to be medicated, no other help has been offered. I also have an anxiety disorder and bulimia. I hate that their is so little help here in the UK. That is unless you're rich.

holy crap, anyone else freak out around 4 minutes when a fluffy pillow started moving in the background? LMAO the cat blended in so well!!!

I was formally diagnosed with ADHD today and sought out this video. I had most of the symptoms listed and I feel less crazy now

Yes yes yes! I did appear ditsy, and I do still often when around others. I even actively attempted to dumb myself down in order to try to reduce bullying and make friends. My high school year abroad (I was sent away) in a country where women are second-class citizens promoted even more dumbing down. I want to be taken seriously :/

Re: individual differences. I would add that if you're intelligent, learning comes easily in most subjects, you will never ger diagnosed if you are largely inattentive. I'm middle 70's now, even the probability of being ADHD didn"t occur to me until four years ago. Just thought I was, um, eccentric/different. My ability to forecast outcomes and trends, intuition, etc. was neither understood by me or appreciated by others. Nor were my aspirational "projects", ever shirting focus. sound familiar? Good luck. Stay calm, carry on

I have 20/21 signs and symptoms. Severe anxiety and social anxiety keep me from seeking help. Im 40, and I really dont want to spend the next 40 living this way. For myself, and my kids. Youe videos are always so helpful.

Dr. Kim... would you please leave the words on the screen just a little bit longer. I read what you post and learn from it and find it helpful. I find myself stopping the video and tracking back to the written segments so that I can read the entire screen. Thank you 😊

This was extremely validating to watch. I was diagnosed last year just after my 32nd birthday. EVERYTHING was bang on about my entire experience from teen and my 20s. Especially the part about being ditzy. I was shamed for being dumb on countless occasions. I compensated by studying a subject or topic to death so I would appear knowledgeable in it. Also, feeling like people don't like me because they don't respond to my jokes, comments, etc. is something I still struggle with. Combined with complex PTSD makes it so much more challenging...

The ditzy thing and speaking incredibly fast is scarily spot on. I never knew how to present as a teen when there were lots of people around because it was too overwhelming. And I still struggle with people saying they can’t understand me cos I talk too quickly. I always thought I had something wrong. And I used to be a chronic daydreamer ever since a small child - what I now realize to be maladaptive daydreaming. I never used to understand how anyone could stay focused on anything at school or on anything that required mental attention for a prolonged period of time. I also used to kind of tic when I did it and no one understood what was going on because it was an internal experience. I presented incredibly “normally” and well behaving except for this thing. It makes me so glad to hear about all these symptoms because I realise I wasn’t just being “weird”.

I like these videos but I particularly like it when the cat in the background moves around.

I've just been told that I probably have ADHD, it was a diagnostic impression, this was great to help me get a picture in my head of what it is

Wow. This is the perfect video. It's like you just wrote and narrated my biography 😢 I was diagnosed (ADHD & Autism) earlier this month, a week before I turned 32. I'll be sharing this video around to my family and friends as I'd love for them to be able to process and understand my diagnosis too - and this is a splendidly succinct summary of what life has been like for me, all this time. I'm feeling rather grateful for having come across this video, it really hit home. Thank you 🥹🙌

Thank you again and again and again!

Thank you so much, Dr. Kim! 🙏💚

Thanks for this!❤

Thankyou for this! As an aside, that wallpaper is so pretty! 💚💚 Beautiful kitty! 💖🐱

Thankyou Dr Kim, definitely one of your best. 🙏🏻

Thank you. Well done!

I just adore you. You're such a comfort. Thank you so much for everything you do. You're an angel!

Thank you for sharing your knowledge, it’s really great to learn about myself 😊

Dear Dr Kim, I have just discovered you today and firstly, wish to thank you for sharing this vital information. What an amazing, brave and inspirational woman you are. 💝 Secondly, after now listening to 3 of your wonderful videos today, so many similarities you have shared about your childhood and present state of being, are relatable to me personally on so many levels (synchronicity for sure). Thank you for being generous to share your snippets of your personal experiences with us, you have opened up my whole world - to traits I experienced during my own childhood (I just gave my inner child a hug & told her I am sorry & shed a tear or two), and as an adult & mother, to where I need to further delve into for research in order to assist healing from both past & present traumas. Thank you again. 🙏🏼 I am sending you a hug from across the seas.

Thank you so much! Im going to refer to this in my mentsl health assessment next month. Its extremely helpful. The lightbulb moments through video. Wow. Thank you 🙏🇬🇧

Thank you so much for this video. I am not diagnosed but I can relate alot! I always liked learning in english class because for whatever reason I was naturally good at it and it made sense. Math was a different story. I remember literally zoning out alot of the time, like I could not make my brain think ecen though I was present, maybe I just felt such little confidence in my ability to make sense of and execute through the lesson due to lack of experience to the contrary that I just didn't have the mental drive to try OR did I just not care enough? I really was trying, sort of. It drove my poor mother crazy (I was homeschooled until 7th grade). I did end up acing algebra (the third time) once the third teacher who was so brilliant and caring finally explained things to me in a way that made sense. I could relate to almost everything else she touched on, being shy, interupting, etc. but I will leave it there. Thank you ❤

WOW this video is great 👍. I am 61 and have just been diagnosed. Thanks for such a clear explanation of ADHA.

So so helpful- thank you!!! Have you done a video on dual ADHD & autism in girls/ women?

Thanks for sharing, I can relate to a lot of it. I suffered from it especially in high school when I had a hard time, not knowing I had it. Healing to learn about those things. I want to say, I noticed that a lot of those symptoms are the same as in autism. It is on your channel where I discovered I probably have autism. It is complex, I am an HSP empath, have symptoms like oversensitivity to lights, sounds, which you mention in videos on autism as well as ADHD. I think I have both. I had prenatal developmental trauma. I also suffer from OCD and have trichotillomania. I am doing my best to heal from it all or at least manage it so that I can live a better life. Self compassion and gentleness is very important.

😮 all on point! wow

Thank you ❤

I have many of these traits, I'm 45 and undiagnosed. My 16 year old daughter has recently been diagnosed with Inattentive ADHD and I'm learning a lot through that process about myself too. She's having a rough time and I worry so much about her. I'm going to share this video with her so that she gets another supportive perspective ❤️

I'm so grateful for your work. I just found your channel. I've known I was AuDHD for around a year now (I'm 43) though I haven't managed to get on the waiting list for diagnosis yet (chronic procastination alive and well in my life! Lol). Your channel is so comforting - very much appreciate the calming tone/music/background. You feel like an informative hug! 🙌🏻

Getting diagnosed here in the UK is almost impossible. A friend thinks I have ADHD. I think my mum and brother are autistic. I don't know what I am! Mum, brother and I all have developmental trauma.

I love your wall paper❤ good video also where and who would be able to diganoise this

I agree with everything addressed in this video, however, I think hormonal imbalances is much greater than anyone realizes. Majority of studies are done on men and not women. Women are failed and completely underrepresented by the medical industry. Hormonal imbalance makes a person go mad, ever heard of she’s a Karen???? There’s a reason for this, it’s called hormonal in balance. I’ve been going through perimenopause for years now and I literally had to fight myself to not harm myself. The fear and anxiety was through the roof and was debilitating. I remember feeling this in my younger years and during and after pregnancy. This is a real serious problem and women are left in the dark and prescribed mental medicine, when balancing hormones would most likely correct the problem. I had to do all the research myself, and I’m finally in a better place. I take herbals and use hormonal creams, and I am a new person. The fear, anxiety, sleepless nights, hot flashes, depression have all gone away. My list of symptoms was way more, but you get the gist of what I’m saying. I’m taking herbs & bioidentical hormone replacement.

I'm glad to come across your channel. Thank you for what you do ❤

28 y.o. Stumbled over a description once and started counting and just started crying because it was so true. The therapist told me there's no way I could have it. The psychiatrist said the same and I had to come back several times until he gave up and gave me a test and questions and stuff and then he was like 'do you even understand that you lied to yourself you made yourself believe all this stuff about yourself and now if I write this on your medical profile you'll have to take pills and never drive and blah blah blah?" I asked him if that meant I had the diagnosis. He kept saying that I cheated to get it, but God, this is not some math thing to cheat at! People keep saying ADHD is a kids' thing and no adults have it. We're just faking we're like everyone else. We're chameleons, blending in. And we know how much effort does it take. The ones who say we don't exist are just ignorant. Thank you for being here for us all, Dr Sage. P.S.: my mum, 66, is the one I inherited ADHD from. She says it's great to understand at least now that she's not wrong, she's just different. My heart aches for her and for everyone who believed themselves to be wrong.

Looking back on my life, and after listening to your podcast, I think I can safely conclude that I am one of the undiagnosed 50 yo “post menopausal”. Thanks Mum, just thanks. 😢😢

I am just pursuing an adhd diagnosis. I realised I am adhd at 28. I believe i am also autistic, but it is easier for me to get adhd assessement first. Thank you for the video! ❤

My 8 yo son just got diagnosed with combined/hyperactive adhd. Now I'm wondering if my 10yo daughter has innatentive adhd. Gonna get her evaluated now, sonmany of these are spot on with how she is.

❤ dear Dr. Sage, love your content! Thank you for pointing out the importance of hormones and (mental) health in women… experiencing it quite strongly now that I am going through the „rough phase“ of my menopause transition… do you know Dr. M. C. Haver? She is an ob gynecologist advocating for menopausal women! She points out these hormonal- mental interrelationships as well! ❤ love from Germany, Europe

Oh dear, I’m 45 and have every single symptom! I’ve basically been carried by others all my life, probably because I look “normal” even popular, but I’ve always felt odd and. I managed to go to uni, get a good job as a chiropractor, have a husband and two, now teenage kids. I always felt judged, and avoid walking or going to the shops on my own as I feel I act differently, or walk in an odd manner, even though I probably don’t. What really helped me, was seeing myself walking on the ring doorbell camera and seeing that I actually looked “normal” I just don’t feel it 😢

Very interesting thank you and I thought your pillow was a cat pillow till he moved 😂 beautiful cat xx

Well, crap! This is me for sure but, OK it really makes sense now. This is so heartbreaking and helpful so,💜🧡thank you!

Yep. Finally got diagnosed with adhd (more inattentive) a couple years ago maybe. And I never realized it until so late, why I was always called out and labeled by ppl closest to me for being so spacey, ditsy, detached, in my own world, LATE, take forever, can’t keep any basic tasks, no sense of time, blurts out weird stuff to people, the list goes ON & ON. It rly is not only so difficult bc of the symptoms and effects it naturally accumulates, but also getting the right type of help is difficult too bc how can I manage to find the right professional(s) to get me thru this and take what feels like a gazilion steps to get there when I can’t even wake up on time or make myself a meal 70% of the time. And all the physical health concerns combined like the chronic fatigue amongst other things. It makes everything feel that much more unattainable. The wall of awful is just a big scary blur that I can’t see through. And you’re right, most people do see me as capable, calm and collected. But I’m a lost kid in the grocery store internally 😂 But I’m wondering if you have heard of the disorder that is finally starting to become recognized more officially, cognitive detachment syndrome (DCS) or formally known as sluggish cognitive tempo (SCT). Ppl are finding that a lot of ppl with diagnosed inattentive type adhd may actually have that instead bc it’s become proven to be a completely seperate disorder than adhd. But it can commonly co exist with adhd, where someone can have both which ultimately leads to even more suffering and difficulty. I came across this recently and I won’t diagnose myself but I’m rly starting to think I may have both.

I was diagnosed w adhd as an adult when i was on the path towards asd diagnosis. Pregnancy made my adhd terrible. My daughter turns 3 next week and im afraid that she will be denied services if she requires them later in life unless i get her diagnosed sooner rather than later. Im burnt out and dont have much confidence in m own ability to communicate w the pediatrician. I want to be prepared but i feel like i was already dismissed on a telehealth appointment recently...

Funnily enough, I was diagnosed 6 years ago with inattentive ADHD and I agreed with that diagnosis. However since then, I’ve done a lot of work around accepting myself and have consciously stoped masking. And I feel like I’m more of a combine type now, I’m the woman jumping on her office chair. I’ve also noticed that it does help me concentrate better when I’m more overactive. I wonder how much of it is trying to be normal and how much of it is actually inattentive ADHD

Ty. I have it ADHD and having hard time understanding and how to cope with it.

I was late diagnosed with dual diagnosis of Asperger’s and combined ADHD last year at the tender age of 42

I feel like depending on who my therapist or psychiatrist is, or if I’m in an ED treatment program, my Dx seems to change, literally every decade…It is super frustrating. I’m 44 and finally asked my psych dr. to put me on the list for ADHD testing. From age 19-27 I had “depression”. From age 27-37 it was BPD…From age 37 until current (age 44), it’s been bipolar…I don’t know what to think anymore…!!!

Appearing ditsy or flighty is caused by disassociating since childhood. For me, anyway.

I just got diagnosed and learning how to understand.

I always had trouble fitting in and making friends when I younger and still to this day! I wish it would get easier!

I'm a 17 year old teen and I resonate with almost all of the symptoms in some warying degree except for the substance abuse part. I want to get a diagnose if possible but I don't know any places around me and also I fear that what if my mind is just faking all this symptoms to act as a poor victim infront of everyone and gain sympathy. Also my mother is againt all the therapy and diagnosis and stuff because she says that it all in the head and I'm just forcing this perspective onto my own self and turning myself psycho. I don't know what am gonna do but well I do actually have my first ever online session with a psychiatrist and don't think it's good for diagnosis but I'll try and share as much of my problems with her as possible. Wish me luck everyone!!! ❤

I feel seen. All of this!!!!

Diagnosed at 30. Have almost every symptom and would wonder what was wrong with me. Medication changed my life.

So many crossover traits for adhd and asd

I'm trying to listen and hear you 😂. I hear, but I understand nothing. 😅😂😢 Damn it! I keep going back, but I can't understand. It's as if you talk too fast when you're not.. And no one understands what I'm feeling through the words. I'm nearly 46 and feeling like I can't be me.. only when I get high

I was diagnosed in 2002

I internalize everything, daydreamer, very sensitive and I can’t get a grip on getting everything done at home. I am impulsive, fear conflict…. Help, I am 60 years old and on my second marriage and wondering if I am marriage material. Big people pleaser’s.

As a 21 yo woman with ADHD, it is sooo hard to get taken seriously with my diagnosis, we usually get written off as quirky or energetic which I guess is kinda true but it makes me make the issue "smaller" than what it feels. I feel like the emotional dysregulation and overstimulation aspects are heavily underrated. I'm not on any meds or ever plan to be but I'm really trying to learn about the nervous system reset and grounding techniques.

This sounds pretty much exactly like me

What is your opinion on smart phone use

Please correct me if I’m wrong but one of my doctors told me that one of my presentations was considered hyperactivity. While I could sit at my desk and do my work, I couldn’t sit still; I would talk a lot. I would fidget and squirm, and if I had to sit through an assembly or a movie, most often my leg would be bouncing 100 MPH. This is hyperactivity, correct? I also presented as inattentive because my fourth grade teacher wrote on my report card that I often seemed preoccupied. It was overlooked because I was a girl (in the 1980s) who read 3 to 5 grade levels above my own, was in the honors program throughout school, finished my work early, turned it in on time, typically, and was on the honor roll every quarter. What they did not see is that I was a disorganized mess throughout my whole life and required a lot of “nagging“ to get my things organized. The only reason I turned work in on time is because I would panic the night before it was due and get it all done in one night. And because in general, I enjoyed learning so I was engaged in most of the work we were doing.

So many of these characteristics are similar to females with autism. How does one differentiate? I'm trying to learn, like you. Thanks for your videos.

Your sweet kitty sleeping 😻

I have emotionally personally decorder and adhd anxiety and depression and seasonal effective decorder

I have the 21 signs, 33 years old undiagnosed female, and it pains me how much i struggled in my whole life, not knowing what's wrong with me.

Am I the only one who focused almost entirely on the kitty on the bed? 😸

Amen!

Hey. I've been scrolling through your videos to see if you have any about ADHD (in women) and CPTSD. My therapist has given me a diagnosis of CPTSD and my husband a diagnosis of ADHD. However, many of my behaviours are so in line with ADHD that I said I was surprised I wasn't given an ADHD diagnosis also. My therapist smiled and said that many CPTSD symptoms can mirror ADHD symptoms. So, I'd love to hear your take on that ❤

Damn..

All those teachers have to learn about neurodivergence and stop their punish behavior!

RSD - 14:51

ive been diagnosed with depressive anxiety disorder and now this video makes me think i might have adhd cause i have most of these symptoms...Uhh

My daughter was diagnosed with ADHD. What would be an example of gestational trauma? I was in a stressful and emotionally abusive relationship. We had to move house twice when I was pregnant. Would that count?

I was dagnose with DHD bien i was a kid and i think i still got it i ' am 49 years old , i got problem To stay still i have To move or do something during i watch a movie , i have alway issues with my anxity To deal with it , and somethimes difficulty To finish what i suppose To do ., and i gorgot à lot or time , To dans my meds or my appointment, i have to write down on a paper or otterwise i will Forget it, and even i do that i still forget it sometimes . I very clean in my house, cause i' am perfectionist , do you think i sltil can have ADHD even i ' am very clean in m'y house???

and i feel like we were always blamed for being this way on purpose

How do you differentiate between adhd and autism or adhd and ptsd ?

I really appreciate your posts. Please could you make them shorter. I find the speed of content delivery a challenge (perhaps a sign that I need your content of course!).

How do you differentiate between ADHD and autism? A lot of what you said sounds like autism

Ugh, so many ads.

why does the music at the start of this vlog make me feel so calm and good inside it has a cure feel

Does anyone NOT have ADHD?

Please like if you have ADHD and you were formula fed. Not meant to mom shame, it’s up to you how you feed your baby. My mom was forced to wean me by 7 months by my stupid father. She had milk till I was three years old. I see studies linking formula to ADHD, wonder if I can thank him…

lts nice to have a name to what l am.

This sounds like ODD. Sounds like this can not be separated from BPD. I am not convinced that you are correct.

Meanwhile ADHD in guys 💀 But seriously, nice video ❤️