Same here … so much time I wasted doing nothing, so many years wasted which I won’t get back

Just lack of dopamine in your brain. thats what gets you going

I haven't been officially diagnosed yet.... but I certainly have a LOT of ADHD problems and they are driving me CRAZY.... and lack of motivation is one that is at the top of the list.

​@@tinasally379me too!! And I dont know what to do and its frustrating!!

My guy that's everyone

Omg meeeeeee!!!

This is why I organize weekly boardgame nights at my place, it keeps my house clean! 😂

@@BlackOreoCookiewow that’s a really good idea. I should 100% do this. Wonder what else I could sneak in there because of people coming or being there

@@abigail5728 Yes do it! Any type of friend/family gathering can work, or even just having someome over for dinner. I used to teach art classes to my niece, which also worked very well 😂

@@BlackOreoCookieholy shit this would change everything, now I just need to learn how to maintain friendships

Me right now… been this way for like a year now and I don’t know what to do anymore

​@@elliemandeville try to shift your focus towards spiritual well-being, it really helps.

@@elliemandeville I’m right there with you since mid-November. I’m believing it will get better, but it feels like crap now. I’m trying to learn hacks/coping skills. Hope it helps to know you’re not alone.

I went through this for over a year ​@@elliemandeville

This is so true 😢 I was even at a point where I thought I had lived enough.

Exactly oh my God 😢

This reminds me of when I was a child... mum would get us kids to clean our rooms, typical stuff except long after my brothers got their rooms tidied Id be still cleaning out the one drawer that I kept all my treasures in. I remember getting in trouble for it and being indignant that I was cleaning... yes, I was but I was using a piece of paper towel to take lint out of the corners of the drawer rather than taking a whole view of a room and what needs done. Interest leads the way with adhd.

@llmaaz3140 So relate to this! Leaf (and drawer corner) dusters unite!

@@lagomorphia9😂😂😂😂😂 I’m a mom of an ADHD person and I was diagnosed in January I’m 63 and al I have to tell her is I saw the squirrel. And that explains why nothing got done so I get cleaning the lint in the corner of the draw. It happens every morning but it’s still hilarious

I have a very similar experience. I also engage in toxic productivity/self sabotage. But I'm not on meds because people think I'm too organised or" just resistant to change" to have ADHD (when those are just coping mechanisms and me trying to show what I'm like without masking). I'm currently living in a refuge, and my case workers keep trying to force me out of the house more to study at the library, but I know that going to unfamiliar environments causes me anxiety, and even if I am more productive at first in a new environment, the novelty wears off real quick, and I'll get just as distracted from my studies in a library than I would sitting at my desk in my room. I feel like the classification of ADHD doesn't quite get to the root of the issues we face. We struggle with executive disfunction, yet it's not in the name. We don't struggle with a lack of deficit of attention, our attention is based in interest and good/enjoyable novelty. It would be more apt if the disorder was called executive attention dysfunction hyperactivity/hyperfocus disorder. For me, it doesn't really matter if the environment is calm or frantic though, because the lack of urgency leads to procrastinating anyway, and added urgency or with negative punishment on the line, I freak out and fail. Meds would literally change my life, and by extension, probably the world too.

@@audreydoyle5268 Hi Audrey! Thank you so much for your lovely, long comment!! ❤❤ I can't tell you how much I appreciate someone taking some time to write a longer one. It helps me feel so much less alone and I actually think I enjoy getting them (it's like a small gift of information for my info-hungry brain lol) The difficulty of ADHD for me is how subtle it can be!! (Even more so on meds haha) I can have a streak of good days and be quite productive and then as the deadline(s) loom closer and things get less and less controlled, I start to slip but because I'd been doing well up till that point, I assume it must be my own will to be distracted and not necessarily ADHD. So off I go indulging in random hyper-focusing all the while building up guilt and regret for not making a move on the more important things. (And that cycle was so much more turbulent without meds 0.0) I absolutely agree that ADHD classification by definition and the symptoms list alone doesn't get to the root of things. Our real-life experiences and the way it affects many aspects of our personality is something you can only learn/resonate with by talking to other ADHD affected people. Actually for me I usually know when someone has it because I almost automatically click with someone with a similar personality to mine! Like we get bored by the same things, have similarly dynamic thinking patterns and just all round are better at seeing the big picture. That, and very similar career stories haha (aka - job hopping, losing focus, starting random new projects at work just because you need excitement...? sound familiar maybe? haha) I really hope you are able to access meds in the near future. Assuming your doctor finds the right mix, they are so so helpful. And of course like many other pills, they're not a cure - instead they help regulate our systems and mental cycles. And although subtle, indeed make a world of difference. ❤ I'd love to say more but I don't want to outstay my welcome 😅 have a great day!! 🌸✨

@@audreydoyle5268maybe you have adhd and autism?

Thank you for writing this

Thank you so much for this! Your note at the end was especially touching!

yeah me.... Can't find my keys (even when I had them in my freaking hands 10 minutes ago), needed paperwork, one time it was even my shoes. I am notorious at being late to appointments.... I suck so bad

@@tinasally379 I hear you, one time I biked for 20 minutes to my tutoring school and only until I was seated in the building I realised I had put on one rainboot and one sneaker! 🤦🏻‍♀️ I was mortified. No wonder several bypassers were smiling and laughing at me and I just tought they were being nice 😂🥲

Set an alarm

​@@jones2277I have multiple alarms and these 2 awesome timers that help me but I need to hyperfocus on time for me to actually get places early. I have to be early too bc if not I'm late.

​@@jones2277 For most with adhd we tend to be so in our minds that we shut off the alarm without even realizing that it went off. Kind of like when someone asks "do you want chicken or broccoli for dinner?" and you automatically answer broccoli even if you hate it because you weren't councisously answering the question

I thought I was the only one

@@rachelcarr4405 Nope. I brush my teeth but all else is out the window until its absolutely necessary.

Yeah I managed to do both of those things but it's usually me trying to make a case for myself. Like me remembering that if I don't brush my teeth I'm going to wake up in the morning and I'll have that weird gross taste in my mouth helps me to actually brush my teeth. The showering part I get external motivation from work and having to see other people. There's also times in which I try to talk to my inner child and say that I deserve to take care of myself and remind myself of how clean and fresh I'll feel immediately after. Also having things to do even on your off day that requires you to leave the house and interact with people is also used as external motivation since I would feel incredibly embarrassed for looking like I crawled out of the trashcan and smelling gross or looking super unkept.

I gave up and allowed my brain to watch fun videos while I brush my teeth and shower. So, I get it done.

Also it’s even harder that I’m not able to get tested (yet) so I can’t just be like “oh yeah it’s bc I have adhd” so I just come off as lazy :(

​@@maddiemae73its not laziness, though. We are too frustrated by it. Laziness would not care.

We know these things. We do not feel these things.

LEARNNNN TO LISTEN.

​@@maddiemae73How's it going? I've taken a year out of uni cause I couldn't do it.. I passed with a 1st in year one from completing every assignment in one night on the last late deadline and I shut down in second year. Now I'm trying to figure myself out before going back next year.. Only just found out I might have adhd at 21 years old...

I totally get this ... ..do you take meds for ADHD or found a way to overcome this

Talk to him.

@@ubayyd The point is that it’s impossible to explain it to someone who finds it easy to be productive every single day. Because no matter how you try say it, they will think you’re making excuses or just being lazy

or exciting tasks

It’s hard, always feeling paralysed with no energy for even basic survival, the more the i grow up the more I see how debilitating this is… stay strong

Destroyed it is a bit strong. I hope things get better

are you my twin? lol

​@@cuchupacu😭

Yes... I have to literally calculate out every thing I have to do to get out the door, backwards- to know whatvtume I should wake up. I started learning about the law of attraction and manifesting a few years ago. It started out great. Until I got bored. Every damn morning I wake up at 4 am to try to get in a 10-3o min meditation... that I never get to it. Why? It should be so simple. I too was diagnosed at age 40, as a single mom with 3 kids. Struggling to support myself and kids but the harder I try the worse my brain works for me!😢

😢

I feel your pain. Same here 😢

​@@Phoenix00797 I'm sorry you can relate. 😟 It sucks! I had an epiphany after posting this that the bosses who made me feel this way were emotionally abusive with other employees too. *Anyone's* performance can be nitpicked, but GOOD bosses foster their employees' *strengths* -- of which I have many. I'm sure you do too. F bad bosses!

Try three years 😐

Try 5 years! JK but not entirely. Story of my life re:delayed projects 😂😅😓

I've been stuck remodeling my house for 10 years. I have suggested to my psychiatrist, psychologist and doctor that I may have ADHD. They said they didn't think so but I have been this way my whole life.

@@scottytv1 Id get a second opinion as this trait is classic adhd

@@lagomorphia9 Thank you for speaking up. I hope to find some relief.

Totally get it. It makes me feel sad when people treat me like I don't have respect for societal expectations and norms.😢 different parameters is all.

Am 58 now. Diagnosed at 55. The frustration is real.

No, I'm not, I'm motivated by good deeds and saving lives. The money is a bonus, yet essential for my survival. Not a motivating factor however, because my main focus is the health of the people I treat. I will get the paperwork done, for when it best suits my patients, as that is my duty of care, not when it suits your aloof bureaucracy. Whenever they say that to you, imagine it's a wise guru saying it in a different intonation, like a mantra. You/I must not be motivated by money, you/I must be motivated by charity".

@@audreydoyle5268 thank you

Some do.

Same but for me I basically have a non existent sense of urgency

Ooh how do you do this?

​@@laurakaye5086 I have a plastic take out container with slips of paper that has subjects of interest written on them. Then I set a 45 minute timer (can be shorter or longer depending on your span of focus time). You can put chores, subjects, tasks, and aim to draw everything by the end of your work week.

@@audreydoyle5268 I haven't tried the random task aspect but I've also benefited from using a timer (LOVE my Time Timer visual timer : - ). Temptation Bundling during or after with something I like to do and do often already has also been helping (podcasts, TV, KZfaq). "Rewards" with delayed delivery never worked for me, but somehow this does.

I completely get you😪 I wrote my finals last year and I did well on my other subjects but not so well on the last 2 I even had to resit them. Even though I was given a 'second chance' I still really struggled to give it the time it required😮‍💨😔

@@KatlegoNkwe-ts4ig but thanks to God..I've got an okay-ish IQ .. now I finished school as a valedictorian 🥲🥲 you'll get there too 👍

Congrats on getting something wonderful and important done. I used to, then i tried to function domestically and i barely get that done and my creativity is dead.

Now time for solutions. How do I make important things fun 😭 or can I please just have someone do it for me.

How did it go?

I can get something done so easily BY the deadline..but doing things that have zero deadline... is another story smh

It's a gift when it works, which it doesn't 60-90% of the time. It depends on comorbid depression and whether or not it prevents piques in interest and severity of the primary disorder (common in undiagnosed/underdiagnosed women). Another thing is that interest/passion and enjoyable novelty is pretty much the **only** things that will motivate great works out of a person struggling with ADHD. No amount of positive reinforcement or negative punishment will motive. Not even urgency works most of the time, only when abusive or negative punishment is on the line, but that also doesn't work for a lot of ADHDers, due to self esteem. It's a gift when it works, but for the vast majority of time, it is a perilous curse. The main struggle of ADHD isn't a lack of attention. We have ample attention span for things that are of great interest or empassion us. The issue lies in executive disfunction. Executive functioning skills are the ability to prioritise, plan, promptly initiate and complete tasks. ADHDers simply do not have these abilities that are strongly influential on behaviour and development of projects as neurofunctional people do (neurotypical sounds more ablist to me than neurofunctional). Trust me, it is not a gift. And saying that it is continues to perpetuate the "gift kid" trope, who later grows up to be a "failure" because their intelligence isn't supplemented by executive function. It's dangerous to people like myself, who grew up being told I was very intelligent (still get told that), but I would go further if I "applied myself" or "put in more effort", when I was giving it everything I had.

​@@audreydoyle5268 I really wanna read cos I think I've got good stuff but the length of it is throwing me off and I can just go right ahead to just force myself to read but I will come away with no comprehension or retention.it's sad frankly

@@audreydoyle5268 What you said. I'm glad for anyone who actually has ADHD and has somehow found enough coping strategies to see it as a gift in their own life. But given the horrible, life-diminishing challenges many of us continue to face I find that language profoundly invalidating and disrespectful.

@@bellaluce7088 yeah, like I said 60-90% of the time it is hell. And during these 6 months since my OC, it's been 95% straight down to the seventh layer of hell for me. The only thing I've kept consistent is my Duolingo streak. Trying to get my life back in order after going through traumatic sh*t which set me back to my 14 year old mindset: telling my stomach to shut up (ED survivor), constantly saying "I need to do X," like push ups and never actually starting, that I'm a lost cause and other great verbal lashing from my birth giver's husband, as well as going from passive SI to actively thinking about it. All because my brain won't go to sleep at 10pm, only between 3 & 5am (literally 4:33am as I'm posting). Because I cannot plan my day to be optimally productive. Because I've been stuck in inertia and analysis paralysis for months. ADHD like you said is only a gift for the small percentage of people who managed to actually do something with that gift because they found the right coping mechanisms. And they're usually coming from a place of immense privilege, access to resources, a functional family unit and an early life diagnosis.