After Gay Man Comes Out as HIV+, Parents Evolve From Ambivalence to Activism.

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2 жыл бұрын

When Bart Loeser came out to his parents as gay, their response was lukewarm and the subject are rarely broached again. When he came out about his HIV diagnosis about a year later, however, the reaction was different - they cared about his health of course, but they also started to see the impact that the growing AIDS crisis was having on his community. Their own proximity to the LGBTQIA+ community inspired them to lean into activism, getting involved in their local PFLAG chapter and eventually overcoming health issues to read the names on the AIDS Memorial Quilt at the 1992 March on Washington.
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Пікірлер: 49

@billzero7274 2 жыл бұрын

I am 66 years old. Back in the 80's I was attending funerals weekly too. We are blessed to still be here. Your Mom and Dad were amazing parents. Best wishes to you

@jdmmg4904 2 жыл бұрын

I'm happy his parents were open to evolve. He's been through a lot and it's amazing they were supportive. Strong man, strong family 💟

@JosephStJames2000 2 жыл бұрын

You are so articulate. Thank you for telling our story. I'm class of '85. In crazy panicked neurotic Los Angeles at that time they gave us eight months to live. We were processed like cattle. "Your test came back positive," and then as you said, "You'd better get your affairs together. NEXT." Well, here I am at 62 and I still don't have my affairs together. But boy howdy, what a wild magical ride it's been. I made it to retirement! Whodathunk.

@bartloeser9707 2 жыл бұрын

I'm glad to hear it's gone well for you. As I contemplate life after 62, I'm faced with similar issues again with friends dying, the (realistic) thought that I'm in the twilight of my years and learning to live with the limitations of my age, I choose not to take the "now" for granted and live each year as if it could be my best and perhaps my last. I steer my concerns toward a focus on self-care, service, gratitude, acknowledgment, and a quest for everyday happiness to maximize the quality of my time (with less concern about quantity).

@juliancoulden1753 2 жыл бұрын

What an amazing man! And what wonderful and extraordinary parents he had. Why can’t all parents be like that. The difference was they didn’t have religion, they were free to make up their own minds.

@Leftatalbuquerque 2 жыл бұрын

This is a whole section of society that has been forgotten by the world. There are a lot of AIDS Survivors out there who still show lipodystrophy, but find themselves now in U=U. Some of us lost decades to serosorting and not being in love with the ones we were honestly attracted to.

@alexanderirizarry-camarill6277 2 жыл бұрын

What a beautiful couple his parents were! Imagine if most parents were like that, so many of our youth could be saved with that support and love? He is most fortunate to have been blessed with them. 💙🙏💙

@tatsf Жыл бұрын

Being just a couple of years older than Bart I experienced the very early years of AIDS/HIV in NYC, and then San Francisco, where I still live. I am always so warmed and heartened to hear stories about parents like Barts'! My mother was similar, though not inclined to big public interactions. But she always knew all about my life, my boyfriends and later partners/husband, and probably more about my exploits than most! She was always supportive and had no use for bigoted people. I sero-converted in '96 after years in the trenches. I never disclosed my status to her for a couple of reasons but never doubted that I would have her full support if I had! Thank you for sharing your story and it's always so great to hear LGBTQ folks from our generation who had/have supportive and open families!

@Erin-Thor 2 жыл бұрын

I remember those days well. My partner caught aides, took his own life as his health declined. I just KNEW I had it, but at that time my doctor told me if I was healthy, do NOT get tested as insurance companies are cancelling policy’s just because of the test. I later tested negative but have no clue how.

@Leftatalbuquerque 2 жыл бұрын

If you tested neg and still test neg, you were never exposed, unless you are descended from the miniscule population from Northern Europe that is naturally immune.

@heinuchung8680 Жыл бұрын

You may have been a top !

@saint_and_holy_unicorn Жыл бұрын

@@heinuchung8680 a top can get infected, maybe not as easy as a bottom, but the chances are still high. HIV is hidden in every body fluid. Being a top, that's not an excuse not to use a condom. Also, you are responsible for your partner (bottom, or top) no matter what. Condom always. No negotiation.❤️❤️❤️❤️

@davidh9844 2 жыл бұрын

As a physician who saw his first case 3 months after the initial report came out, I can only say that it is beyond miraculous that you survived from 1986 until 1995, when we first got the protease inhibitors and hope. Just as I cannot begin to fathom the emotional horror you had to have gone through, you, your parents, your friends, you cannot begin to imagine how HIV affected us physicians. Going from the arrogance of knowing hey, the whining patient has a strep throat, take some penicillin, you'll be fine in the morning, to OMG, he's 26, a skeleton, we don't have a clue as to what is happening, and there isn't a thing we can do to make this go away. Day, after day, after day. I don't know you from Adam, you might be the nicest guy on the planet or dirt under my feet, I thank god that you are alive, that you look health, and you can tell this story. Welcome back to the living - More Life.

@vitrock1 2 жыл бұрын

What a heartfelt powerful story. To experience so much sadness and yet maintain such a caring and positive outlook on life, shows what a beautiful heart and soul you have. Thank you for being such a great advocate for the LGBTQ+ community. Wishing you so much love and support as your life journey continues! ❤❤

@XenonDarrow 2 жыл бұрын

Bart is my good good friend and a truly compassionate and beautiful human being. You can tell from his story that he comes by it honestly; his parents were wonderful human beings. I never had the pleasure of meeting them, but have met other members of his family. Everyone he touches is better off from having known him.

@ohiorich1 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing this. Yes you made me cry, but it was a good cry. Once again, Thank You

@luizfelipemarques1542 2 жыл бұрын

What amazing people your parents were... The world needs more humans like them.

@dg6700 2 жыл бұрын

What an admirable, beautiful man! More power to him! Hoping that his fondest dreams come to pass.

@bartloeser9707 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for you kind words

@Tripper111 2 жыл бұрын

Incredible story, incredible people. Thanks for sharing.

@kurtjackberhalter1537 2 жыл бұрын

Incredible story,and good looking supportive parents. What a blessing!

@bartloeser9707 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for your kind words.

@KnightsAndDarths Жыл бұрын

Both he and his parents set a great example. Bless their big hearts.

@jonathandow684 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing your story 🌹 you know to love unconditionally 🙏🏾

@Evan1060 Жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing. Great to hear when parents are being supportive!!

@nartarlyiatremaynne1239 Жыл бұрын

Bart the universe rewards the Brave. Blessings & Hugs ❤ Australia.

@BorsheimArts 2 жыл бұрын

Lovely story about turning someone's attitude around who may not have been against anything as much as simply having had no experience with this particular human quality in nature. Bart, you have helped so many and also your beating the death sentence and living fully your life after your diagnosis has also inspired so many. You are a wonderful man and I am glad that your family not only accepted you in every way, but became your advocates and helped to spread the word of kindness and compassion. I really enjoyed this interview and hope that retelling the sad parts was not too painful for you. Happy to know you a wee bit, so many years ago in your lovely home in Austin! Big hugs, k

@bartloeser9707 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks Kelly 🥰 In this case, sadness is merely a reflection of gratitude for something precious we were once lucky enough to have experienced. Although it may be gone now, the appreciation of the gift itself can always keep its warm glow alive in our hearts. The love and support of my parents continues to enliven my spirit.

@MatthewVanceMusic 2 жыл бұрын

I can't even fathom what it would've been like to go through this with such uncertainty, at just 26 nonetheless. I am almost 24 so that wouldn't be too far for me. Thank you for sharing this and it gives me perspective and to be grateful. Sorry to hear about both of your partner's passing.

@bartloeser9707 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks, Matthew. Life presents many challenging lessons that can strengthen and embolden us if we focus on the positive aspects. You can choose to embrace the experiences so that with each passing year, you grow in appreciation for and greater enjoyment of the simple graces that surround you every day. Our experiences shape us and each (emotional or physical) scar, each wrinkle can be a badge of honor, courage, survival, and triumph that makes every life something remarkable. Your next quarter decade is an amazing ride and I wish you well in that experience and much success in pursuing your musical passion. Thanks for sharing some of your amazing performances and talent.

@DannyLTerry 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing such a heart warming life journey story with us. You have great parent's! And you are awesome as well. Sending good vibes your way, keep up the good fight and the great work.

@bartloeser9707 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks, Danny. I do my best to pass on what I have learned and try to leave this world in a better space.

@TrainsFerriesFeet Жыл бұрын

What a beautiful story, Bart. Hugzies

@rayebutterfield1820 Жыл бұрын

A lovely and inspirational story.

@ohmy5650 2 жыл бұрын

Awesome 🍀🍀. He must be of a special heart & soul to deserve such parents (and probably more that he didn't tell). May his inner fortune be everyone's in this negativity filled world.

@sfreddy 2 жыл бұрын

I lovely story. What we all need, true or not.I thank you.

@jc2delaga Жыл бұрын

THANK YOU 🧡

@tschibasch Ай бұрын

Your parents were also very lucky to have you.

@terrym5023 2 жыл бұрын

1 Timothy 5:8, NASB: "But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. REALLY wish this verse was more well known. The perfect antidote to that abhorrent noxious pathetic disgusting closet case Leviticus..