The fact that he quit therapy because he thinks he's fixed but still behaves like this concerns me. I really hope I'm reading too far into this, but this doesn't seem like someone whose heart is in the right place. He's been told about at least some of the harm of his behavior, but he doesn't want to change.

I have PTSD and severe anxiety. The husban's behavior over this pizza has nothing to do with anxiety. People love to make mental health challenges the scapegoat for bad behavior. That's what this seems like to me.

She needs to ditch her denial. He is only going to get worse and deep down, she knows it. DTMFA.

As a celiac, this makes me so angry -- getting gluten free food is hard, keeping gluten free food gluten free is hard (eg it's so easy for people to mess up and get gluten on a gluten free pizza). If we're ordering pizzas, I get in first, take my gluten free pizza, and nobody else is touching my pizza thank you very much

In my country, a personal size pizza is an 8" circle. So small. It's kinda an unwritten rule that personal pan pizza is not for sharing.

She is not just Gluten Free by choice. She has celiac disease which is extremely serious. It sounds like he doesn’t care what happens to her.

Wow this husband is a real piece of work... and to hear she's pregnant makes it even worse, somehow!!

Husband is extremely toxic.

DIVORCE!!!! DIVORCE!!!! DIVDIVORCE!!!! DIVORCE!!!! DIVORCE!!!! DIVORCE!!!! DIVORCE!!!! ORCE!!!! DIVORCE!!!! DIVORCE!!!! DIVORCE!!!! DIVORCE!!!! DIVORCE!!!!

Wife and first born both have food allergies. Their food is off limits to me. I can eat most anything anywhere. We make sure they have what they need. If they push I will sample theirs but otherwise…. He’s being selfish and controlling

The fact that he’s willing to bully her out of her food when he knows she absolutely cannot have Gluten or she’s going to be sick is awful. It sounds like he’s emotionally abusive and doesn’t like when she stands up for herself. The fact that he quit therapy meant that he didn’t want to fix himself not that he decided he was fixed.

WOW the husband is a complete AH. Run OP run Husband is full of red flags. This can't be the only time he's acted this way. Run

Someone get this woman to google coercive control 🤦‍♀️

I understand. I'm an extreme diabetic and order accordingly. It drives me crazy when someone else wants to eat my food.

Putting the pizza incidence aside, "you can buy it yourself"??? I know that some couples have two bank accounts and split the bills, but unless there's a trust issue I've found that one joint account should be used for everything - food, electric, mortgage, etc. There's no you or I in a joint account. Only "us". And if he was being facetious when he said you could buy it yourself because you don't contribute to the bills then you need to run, OP. That kind of response is a huge red flag. He needs to stay in therapy or you need a divorce. It will only get worse.

I've had Generalized Anxiety Disorder for over a decade, does not make me act like OP's husband. He knows better and either OP or he is using "anxiety" as an excuse for controlling behavior. He knows it's wrong, that's why he stopped going to therapy - he was not having his BS views reinforced. OP: it will not get better. Your husband has no interest in changing or acting like he did to make you think he was a great guy. And you are not to blame for letting him get away with his bullying. No one wants to think they married a rotten person.

If someone is this big of an asshole over something a pizza (not even getting into the multiple points about the pizza), I have zero hope for the future for her. And fuck his anxiety and control issues. I have anxiety and like things organized- I don’t use it like a weapon towards my children and husband.

This is abuse that could have a serious consequence. Is there any chance he might slip you something with gluten in it and wait to see if you have a reaction to it? I have a friend that is real sensitive to gluten. It does not take but a tiny bit to cause a reaction. OP - tell him if he does not get back to therapy - and it needs to be couple therapy so the therapists knows what he does - that you will divorce him. What if the baby needs to be gluten free? Take steps now to protect your baby.

I would not want to have a child with someone like this (or marry him to begin with). What if he treats their child this this? I sure hope not, but I wouldn't bet on it.

It's not anxiety he has. It's narcissism and being abusive. And narcissists often get way worse once a baby comes

I don't want to share a large pizza with anyone 😂🤣

NTA. Husband is a total jerk

Celiac can send her to the hospital if she eats it then her baby ontop of it

ONE GIRLFRIEND PIZZA 😭🤣

Husband needs a reality check

I do not understand at all how her gratitude is being called into question. This does not make any sense. Were the other people buying? I do not understand that component at all. Seems further evidence of dysfunction in how he treats her.

NTA! I have a bunch of food allergies and sensitivities so I do not share the few things that I CAN eat. Especially when everyone else can eat whatever they want.

I have celiac as well and this story makes me absolutely furious for so many reasons. The husband was so f**king rude and out of line. It’s already frustrating enough to have to pay extra money for food half the size just because she doesn’t want to be poisoned. Plus she is pregnant! Depending on the severity of her case, accidentally eating gluten now could cause her to miscarry!

OP wake the hell up already! This man doesn't see anything wrong with himself or his behavior. You can't "fix" him. You need to worry about yourself and that baby. This is not a healthy environment to raise a child in. If he won't make the effort to change, then he needs to go. He's about to have a rude wakeup call when his child doesn't comply with his controlling ways.

OP’s husband is a walking red flag.

Mental health is never an excuse to abuse others. He is not just controlling, that would be bad enough, he goes way further. Steam Rolling your partners dietary restrictions, restricting your partner food intake as a result...big big no no. Making a thing about things not being hers, wft is wrong with this dude.

Hell no! She is NTA!

My 10 year old (gluten intolerant) eats the gf pizzas from most places by himself. He’s 10…not a fully grown adult…and not pregnant. Absolutely NTA They’re really small pizzas usually

OP is glossing over her experience w/this complete AH. He's controlling, petty, thoughtless and thinks he's HER teacher? And no, it won't "be funny" when he sees that post. I hate that everyone overuses the word narcissist becuz when it's actually true, it's a huge problem. OP's husband uses "anxiety" as an excuse to control, but ppl w/anxiety don't purposely cause problems + try to control people, the exact opposite. They want things to go smoothly in their relationships and don't try to induce anxious situations. It seems to be a thing, that men don't reveal themselves until the woman is pregnant. I'm disgusted by that.

this is not a good relationship...

Oh if I had control of your red flag I would have been slamming it repeatedly! The fact he went to therapy and quit is a bad bad sign. OP I would tell him go back to therapy yesterday and if he quits then he can move out! Even if he is claiming to go have regular check ins with the psychologist/psychiatrist to be sure he is going and participating. The controlling might be from anxiety but it can develop into abusive control and manipulation too easily. Hello i might just make a Reddit account just to comment on this post there! Dusty, I laughed so hard at the 'girlfriend pizza'. I can understand that you see gf as an acronym for girlfriend all the time. But it still was very funny seeing the confusion on your face as you realized what you just said.

Run !!

This is worrying, both the husband’s behavior and the way OP downplays it. Especially since there are so many easy solutions here that don’t involve OP sharing her own pizza. Order another pizza. Do half and half on one of the larges. Hey, everyone could get small pizzas and get exactly what they want. For the husband to guilt trip OP on this one, ESPECIALLY given her pregnancy and the fact that her condition prevents her from eating the other pizzas, is very concerning. (I am literally just a picky eater, no allergies or conditions, and I only eat cheese pizza and have a strong aversion to having pepperoni even touch my half of a pizza. Guess what? My husband has never once shamed or guilted me over it.) And if his need for “control” is so strong, I am really worried what will happen once that baby comes…

NTA

Dude sounds like a covert narcissist who's kicking back now that he's not always getting his way anymore. OP is def NTA

Plus most GF pizza are thin crusts!

A big N ( maybe )

OP is making excuses for her terrible husband. Anxiety is not causing his behavior, or at least it is not the sole cause. He is controlling and toxic, and he needs to recognize and fox hos bad behavior. If he refuses to seek help and do better, OP should run and nor look back.

He's the bonehead. What I would have done is order the large pizzas with the Gluten Free crusts but with the fun toppings you like. Then you get to eat as much as you want.

A little slow today Dusty? NTA! OP, is your husband always this clueless and rude or is this something new? OP, given your comments, I hate to say this with you being pregnant, but you may want to consider starting to plan an exit strategy if he won't get help again and show progress. I suspect things will only get worse when the little one arrives.

He is the AH big time....who asks a pregnant woman to share her food?

🖤🤎💜

Why, in the name of all that is holy, did OP ever decide having a baby with this idiot was a good idea? It was bad enough under normal circumstances that he is being this way over the only small pizza that she can be, but the fact that OP is also pregnant makes him absolutely horrific! OP needs to put her foot down and tell him to STFU any time he tries to exert any control - over what she eats or anything else. Forget that nonsense and forget him if he doesn't straighten up and fly right!