Years ago, the person ahead of me at the ATM left their card in the machine. They drove off before I could try to run the card to their car. I noticed that their card was from my credit union. So, I drove to the credit union and turned it in. They were shocked that I turned it in. Sad, that the bar is so low regarding honesty and decency.

for the steak one, he purposefully did that to her. he's trying to assert dominance, she needs to run.

The panelist who mentioned personal values really understood the boyfriend meat story. Your partner shouldn’t be trying to change your values in a relationship. It’s your birthday, great… my values don’t change because it’s your birthday. The boyfriend knew what her values were when they started dating as she’s been vegetarian since she was 11. Good on her for standing her ground.

Re: vegetarian story, I never comment on anything but seriously…there is a basic misunderstanding about boundaries. The girlfriend had a boundary that she has clearly put thought in to, she has had clear communications about expectations and willingness. She did not sound inflexible, she is willing to eat at restaurants with meat, willing to pay if meat is not ordered, but not willing to spend her money on meat. If she had caved/compromised/whatever for his birthday, that is crossing a boundary and setting their dynamic up for him to expect her to compromise if it’s his birthday, some other special day, or really any reason he sees fit. We each get to choose our boundaries and I think we are so used to expecting others to cross their boundaries that we call someone an a-hole if they stick to theirs.

On that story about the vegetarian girlfriend, I have to say that it feels like the boyfriend wasn't really concerned about his birthday as much as he wanted to test if his girlfriend would break her values for him. If she had paid for that steak, the boyfriend would realize that she would put herself aside to cater to him regardless of how much of herself she loses. For an 18 year old, the girl is quite smart, despite ya'll saying how she don't know how the world works. She stayed true to what she believes (lets set aside the impact of her belief) and she is a straight forward person. The boyfriend, despite being older, behaved like a child and that just shows he's angry because he just wanted to push her boundaries just because it is his birthday. She still paid for his other orders ffs. So, yeah I hope she doesn't ever break and I wish her a truly wonderful life. She's got the courage and determination than most of us have ever imagined.

the vegetarian girl could never be the asshole because she was incredibly clear about not spending money on meat and he thought he could break her moral backbone enough that she would.

Shocker that Sam has a terrible opinion. She made it clear she does not pay for meat. That boy had the audacity to order THE MOST EXPENSIVE STEAK and then was shocked that she didn’t pay despite her very clear boundary

Damn dude, that apartment decor sounds sick as hell. Deepsea Creature bathroom? Cool bugs? Fun Cartoons? Why does something so interesting and unique immediately make people think lesser of others? I hope that girl dumps him soon

That bridesmaid story is WILD. If you want your bridesmaids to do all this shit you better be paying for it!

41:54 somewhat concerning that only the guys find it ok for the OP to compromise her moral compass for her boyfriend because it’s his birthday

_He's not that bad..._ "I thought it was okay to finish my matc-" _Jail. Prison. Alcatraz 2._

Vegetarian sorry- NTA! She had CLEAR boundaries, he should’ve known better, then throws a tantrum and LEAVES the restaurant to force her to pay. They obviously aren’t meant to be together since he finds her vegetarianism something she needs to “grow up” about. Edit: I also hate the argument that vegetarianism doesn’t matter because the animal’s still dead, but it’s about your moral ground. I don’t want to eat that animal.

Honestly, the story with the kid who wouldn’t eat the food. Every parent should have like a granola bar or some sort of snack on hand at all times, especially if your kid gets hungry. And they know what kind of food there Fred cooks, they should have been prepared or they should’ve asked their friend ahead of time to have some thing that wasn’t as refined.

I am very confused about the boyfriend's food story and why people are claiming that she is an asshole in any way. this man ASSUMED she would pay for his meal she never said she would, he picked the most expensive shit, and her boundary on not paying for meat has been clear since they started dating so she has had a set rule for almost a year and he just assumed without bothering to ask that she would pay for his likely not just meat but expensive ass meal? hell fuckin no. This is very very clearly a hard boundary she has been vocal about since the start. and that's not even bringing up his hissyfit storming off and still not going back inside and paying. this is all the boyfriend's own damn fault.

I don’t agree with the “can you do this for just one day” he didn’t even tell her about he just expected her to pay. Plus she has clear boundaries, why should she break them just to comfort someone else?

McDonalds: OP is TA. So rude in so many ways. The friend cooks a dinner for him and sets it in front of him, and he gets up and leaves? The child's behavior was fine, so Dad could have eaten his fresh cooked meal, given the child half a chance to try the food, and gone for McD's after the meal. The worst thing is that he then blames the friend for not being "accommodating", by having special snacks on hand just for HIS CHILD. If he knows his child was a picky eater, it's his job to prepare, and bring snacks and stuff. All the parents I know pack bags of snacks and other emergency supplies for their small children. This guy doesn't deserve friends who cook for him.

Her home decore sounds awesome and I can think of at least 7 grown ass adults who dream of/ in the process of having their home look like that.

Boundaries y’all repeat after me “BOUNDARIES”

the vegetarian story would not be "just one dinner" it was a test from him to see if he could force her to betray her morals and if she had caved it wouldve escalted.

For the vegetarian one, I wanted to point out why he is TAH and how a relationship of people with differing food choices can still work. I am vegan and my girlfriend is not. I have expressed that a boundary of mine is that I refuse to cook meat as a) I havent cooked meat in over 7 years and don't want to poison them, and b) it goes against what I stand for, and she respects my boundaries. He is the AH because she clearly explained her boundaries to him and not once in the time of dating has she deviated from her boundaries. To disrespect her boundaries enough that he committed a crime is such a red flag, as is blaming her for his inability to return to that restaurant due to HIS own actions, not hers. Had she not communicated those boundaries to him, that would be a different story, but regardless of it being his birthday, he already knew this and wanted her to sacrifice her morals for his own gain. Also, for some perspective, my girlfriend asked me before we even went on a date if them not being vegetarian would make ME uncomfortable out of a desire to respect my boundaries. This was not an issue for me and they have never asked me to compromise my morals for them. We also have had extensive conversations about when we have kids how they will be raised, and came to compromises that honored both our wishes (such as abstaining from meat for the most part at home and educating them about their food to let them have autonomy, and consulting pediatricians and nutritionists to ensure they are meeting all their needs) and we have only been dating a few months. In this short time frame we already see a future together and as such, have found ways to not only respect each other's boundaries, but celebrate them. This just to show it is possible for these relationships to work out where there is respect there, but he clearly does not respect her

It would really bother me that the father got up in the middle of his meal to go get McDonalds. I would have assumed that he didn't like the food and that he was using his kid as an excuse to not have to eat it. Because I think most people would just tell their child that they will go get them something after they have finished not just get up in the middle of their meal and leave for 30 minutes.

For the vegetarian one, it could have been an honest miscommunication. However, instead of asking if she could spot him and he would immediately pay her back so that the bill could be paid - he threw a fit and ditched. He never communicated that he was leaving, he only said that he was going to the bathroom. He abandoned the bill to her, and it's his own fault he can't show his face. Similarly, he could've eaten the embarrassment and just showed up the next day with the money. Most small restaurants would likely appreciate the gesture especially from someone so young

The bride is TA. Weddings are celebrations BUT they are expensive for the guests, too. I offered to pay for my bridesmaids dresses and shoes. I did want us to look like a unit for different events so I bought those items or just asked them to wear something in a color everyone has. Make it easy on people to be there and communicate to see what may work best for everyone. If these are your friends, why make them spend all of their money to support you.

Bruh, that last story was so obviously a boring ass man with an interesting chick. He doesn't deserve her, that sounds like an awesome space to host in

With the vegetarian story I really can't stand Sam's opinion. The woman put up a boundary. She has a very very strong stance here and had communicated that multiple times. It's no surprise if she always acted like that. It's really pushing personal boundaries. Let's make it something else: does your gf owe you a**l on your birthday just bc you want it although she has always said no she ain't doing that no matter what? The principle is the same. Respect boundaries and all is cool. That dude is just manipulative and shitty

For the vegetarian story, she made her values VERY clear. They do that every time. Why would he just assume she would all the sudden switch up and pay for the meat when she NEVER HAS! She is NOT the asshole. She’s allowed to stay true to herself. His reaction makes it even worse. Big baby.

That home decor is 🔥 though

Is it just me or did no one talk about the girlfriend’s opinion for the bridesmaid story. Like yeah OP is looking out for his partner but we never even heard what OP’s girlfriend thought about the situation.

I'm totally in support of the dad buying McDonald's for the kid. And just because the friend's kid eats whatever he makes, doesn't mean other kids will. I've been in that situation while babysitting my niece and nephews and their parents were out of town for a few days. Sometimes your cooking that you think is bomb isn't the bomb for the kids, and you have to accept that some kids can be very picky. Dad is basically saving the kid's day and the parents' day from having to deal with child that didn't eat dinner. Any kid, no matter how well-behaved, is going to cause disaster when they don't have dinner. But I guess etiquette is more important to the friend 🙄

Sam - if a muslim person said they never wanted to pay for pork would you still expect them to pay for it on someones birthday because it’s “just one day”? Strong morals and beliefs can be really important to people, and people shouldn’t be asked to compromise them if they don’t want to. And lets not forget the fact he’s a grown man, not a kid, birthdays aren’t as special when you get pst a certain age. She still paid for the wine and the salad, just didn’t want to compromise on her morals. He knew her morals, she was clear about them from the start, it’s not like she suddenly sprung them on him. And she’s been vegetarian since she was 11, it’s not something new she’s starting as a trend. I think the most important part is how he reacted though, I hope she notices all the red flags in his behaviour.

On the McDonalds story, I’ve never gone though a McDonald’s drive though and had it take less then 20 minutes. I expect to be sitting there for a solid 30-40 minutes especially when it’s busy. I think it’s just the one where I live but that seems totally normal to me.

Also it wasn’t said in the vegetarian story, the dinner WAS NOT a gift. She bought him gifts. She never said she was paying for him. He ASSUMED she would. It’s in the update. And HE picked the restaurant.

For the vegetarian story and the decor story: stop dating people who's personality/values/interests you don't respect. It's okay if you don't understand, you don't have to have the same interests but if you think anything that is a big part of your partners life is stupid or silly, don't date them. For the love of God don't date them.

The BF in the restaurant story is cartoonishly the asshole. The 18 year old is absolutely NTA. This was an established rule, he tried to take advantage of her by ordering a ridiculous meal while violating an established rule.

NTA It's a 30 minute round trip. What's so confusing about that? 10 minutes there, 10 minutes ordering and receiving the food, and 10 minutes getting back. It's not like the kid was being a brat and asked for McD's. The kid made an effort to eat the food and the dad noticed he wasn't liking it and was proactive about making sure his kid gets to eat, and probably picked McD's because it was the quickest option.

If you're going somewhere with a kid bring a PBJ and some goldfish for them. Then you don't have to drive to the... Narnia mcds

With the steak story I would’ve happily gave them his address and told them to call the office police. I told that man I wasn’t paying for this 😂

Sorry but no one should understand a bride asking someone to buy a whole new wardrobe for a wedding. That’s unreasonable, entitled, selfish, and plain stupid. In America it’s being a bridesmaid is expensive, but in a lot of other countries the bride and groom cover the expenses. I think the Dad was right and the Mom sucks to think they should have eaten while their kid sat hungry. That’s just weird.

No way as a mom I bring my children something to eat if I don’t know what’s being served

Why is the husband an asshole? They wanted to hang out with their friends & didn't want their kid to starve. The kid tried the food, didn't throw a fit but didn't like it. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Why are adults allowed preference but not kids?? I don't understand that mentality.

The steak story 1. Your partner should not be asking or pressuring you into compromising your values. If you give in once they will pressure you more and more. And anytime you set a boundary in the futute they WILL violate it and cry victim. Do better Sam, thats gross. 2. She did not have a RULE she had a BOUNDARY that she established FIRST THING in the relationship. SHE won't pay for meat but she does NOT prevent HIM in anyway shape or form from buying, preparing, and eating meat. A BOUNDARY she sets, controls HER behaviour. A RULE would control HIS behaviour, which at no point does she do. 3. Don't date people who don't have the same values as you, i also learned this the hard way and it was not fun.

If I was in the meal situation and he walked off, I would pay my part then leave his details so then they can call him or if they get the police involved then they’ll call him.

“Fitness taco into my mouth” 😂Sam starting off STRONG

McDonalds Dad is NTA, but maybe could’ve tried to text his wife on the side; also some McDonald’s driv thrus start to feel like hostage situations

Story 2 - I appreciate the consideration to both sides, I think some people are called bride/groom-zillas too quickly these days, there is a certain degree of expectation, cost and rules that go with weddings. And that's ok. But this is over the line, over a week and it's not even about the actual wedding but the bachelorette party? Way too much entitlement about this whole aesthetic thing & the trip length is too long too. Story 3(?) - Im on the fence about a final verdict, but the timing was very off. Most my friends with young kids bring their own snacks just in case, unless its a kids event like a birthday (and the ones with picky eaters bring snacks everywhere). It's enough to tide the kids over until they leave, when I'm sure they organise something else later if needed. I feel in OP's case, he should have eaten first, given the kid more time to get used to the new food and then ducked out if they really needed to.

first story, that friend is horrendous. victim mentality is insane

as someone who was an extremely picky eater as a kid, ive been in the situation where there wasnt anything for me to eat all the time. my solution would be to either eat before and go through the drive afterwards. you dont just leave a party imo. (my parents would give me nothing though🤣)

43:55 100% agree. She had always told him that. It's always been that way, maybe she thought reminding him would be patronizing. And he's blaming her for him being banned. Yes not taking any responsibility for himself. He should have just gone in and paid. He should have checked ahead of time. Regardless of what he believes, he knows what she believes and he's not respecting it.

"who does she bank with?" Maybe TD Bank? they have same day replacements! they'll even mail you a new card at the first of the month when it expires. also that guy in the last story is 100% the asshole. that bathroom sounds cool af

NTA for the dad. Those are her friends. I’m going to say he didn’t want to end the night early so she could enjoy her time with her friends and their kid had a full belly.

You don’t get 10 days as a bride

Whipper snapper is a 17th century term for a young man with nothing better to do than hang about idly snapping a whip 😳

Tbf she isn’t putting any restrictions on his diet and she’s made it very clear she doesn’t spend her money meat, also look at it this way think of the thing you are most apposed too be it hunting or anything else and you have made it very clear to your boy/girlfriend you do not get involved or pay for anyone to get involved in those activities but I won’t stop you stop them, so on their birthday they take you to a trail where you can walk and enjoy the views but also hunt or whatever and they want you to pay for them to go hunting, do you pay because it’s their birthday or do you stick to your values and say “no you know how I feel about this?”

The dad was totally getting HIMSELF McDonald’s. He was way to damn eager, did not plan ahead of time with a granola bar (as most parents do), and was gone for 30 minutes??? No he was eating a Mcdouble in the parking lot

On the story about the dad getting their kid McDonald’s: the McDonald’s where I live is considered close by and it’s about a 30 minute drive there and back not including ordering/waiting in line so I don’t think that’s necessarily a concern but I personally would’ve just doordashed something so I could stay and my kid would have food 🤷🏼‍♀️

The home decor girl sounds like she has my dream apartment

Bruh he would hate my apartment. It’s a nerd kingdom … banners, funko pops, little nerdy Knick knacks. Colorful tapestry’s… it goes on 😂

So I live in Canada and Toronto Pearson airport you have to time it perfectly to pick someone up you can pull up, but you can’t sit for longer then 10 mins so you have to keep driving around. There is no waiting lot

I love the Niniva reference ❤‼️‼️👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

I don’t see how the gf was the asshole, when the bf knew she was never going to pay for the meat. For her, it would compromise her morals so I don’t really understand why the bf would assume she would buy it, whenever she never hinted or said it. It had been a rule from the very beginning.

17:08 I thought she said Nunavut at first. I was so happy to affirm that it is indeed a real place (in Canada) and then they said it’s in the Bible?? I had to process that for a second😅. **Nineveh is also a real place in the olden times and now (in Iran).

Airports test relationships lmao

For the wedding story the bride and the husband are the asshole. The bride is expecting too much and if you’re asking that much you need to be very upfront about the costs before someone even agrees to be in your wedding party. I need itemized lists, itineraries, and budget estimates before I agree to be a part of all of this. For the husband it sounds like he didn’t even talk to his wife? He just unilaterally decided it was too much and told his brother he wasn’t going to allow his wife to participate. Where is her autonomy? He could have told his brother “Hey I think this a lot for our household I’m going to talk to my wife and make sure we can handle this and I’ll get back to you with confirmation.” I don’t think it’s right for one part of the relationship to be able to just decide on something that can affect both parties.

I think the triangle guy was probably bill cypher from gravity falls

about the airport story...if they tell u over the intercom (or whatever u call it) are phones are on airplane mode right? how could she let him know that she was getting there earlier ? or am i mistaken?

It's a fairly old-fashioned word, having been around since the late-1600s, when it apparently arose out of "whip-snapper," which implied a general sense of lots of noise and very little importance. Around the same time, the word "whipperginnie" was a derogatory term for a woman.

When dude assumed he made an AH out of himself and got him banned from his favorite steakhouse. I can understand thinking your partner might make an exception for you specifically for a birthday situation but once that proved not the case, dude should have been ready. What do you mean you didn't budget for it??? bs move, reminds me of that lady that always "forgets" her wallet making her sister(in-law?) pay then got all pissy when OP brought it for her, having seen she had "forgotten" it at the house.

The story with the dad getting food for his kid. Honestly I don't think he did anything wrong. If I was cooking for others who also had kids I'd like to make sure I know what they be able to eat. Cause there's lot of kids who don't like certain textures, tastes or smells for so.e things and they WILL NOT eat it. In my opinion bold of them to assume that he was gonna have the same apatite like there daughter. In all honesty I feel like a bit more of consideration and communication could have been done before the dinner. But there will be a lot of parents who won't care if there kid/kids doesn't/don't like something. 🤷🏽‍♀️

I live in TN and it's about 20 minutes TO McDonald's either way, so 35-40 minute drive to get McDonald's.

Doesn't matter if you agree with the vegetarian principle - she was clear about this boundary. End of story.

For the bridesmaid story, if you’re going to ask for that much the bride should be willing to pay for SOME of it.

Do you think the wife was calling the husband to explain that her flight was landing early but that was during his do not disturb moment on the game?

Maybe it’s me but if my homegirl told me the story and she said she’s not paying for her man’s birthday meal I’m gonna call her out for bad behavior. The fact that you’re willing to pay for the wine and the salad but not his steak on his birthday dinner and you willingly drove him to a restaurant that has meat in it and you know he eats meat is asinine. That’s like literally being like I wanna take you out for your birthday but only if you get what I want you to eat otherwise you gotta pay for yourself that’s weird. If I date vegetarian and we go out to eat, I’m gonna pick the restaurant they like and pay for the meal regardless, if I don’t like tofu regardless if I’m allergic to pumpkin or squash, I’m gonna pay for the food because it’s their birthday, …….because then I’m questioning what she got him for a gift? At this point all she got him for his birthday was a bottle of wine and a side salad 🤔🤔🤔👀👀👀 soooo she planned a bday dinner and didn’t think about paying for his food??? And the BF is trash AF sure but umm on his birthday? Ma’am you should have made a picnic or cooked. She is wild for thinking she’s not an AH

For story 2: You get one day for your wedding as the bride you get one day maybe two for your bachelorette and bridal shower. You don’t get a week to 10 days just because you’re getting married.

I feel like with the kid being hungry, the wife very well could've been upset that instead of discussing with her, he just made a declaration and then left for a pretty long time, missing the dinner and leaving her alone, presumably with the hungry kid to! She might've felt very embarassed and abandoned. It's possible he didn't want to go in the first place and used getting the meal as an excuse to leave. It could just be a thoughtless action, but instead of listening and trying to be more thoughtful next time, he dismisses her concern making me think otherwise.

Kids got to eat. It’s just a little thing. No need to make a fuss about him running out to fix it. Next time you know to bring different food and you can still enjoy your friends.

19:29 I don’t see the problem with picking up the mcdonalds, my kid’s comfort would always come first before a friend, especially one I haven’t seen in god knows how long. I would have done the exact same thing but would’ve taken my kid with me so he could eat sooner. Kids can be picky 🤷‍♀️

30 minutes I think depends on where you live because I live about 30 minutes from a McDonald’s in general. It would take about an hour to go get McDonald’s and come home.

The parents are an asshole because that knew the kid wouldn't like it. They should've fed him beforehand or bought his snacks.

We literally all need a friend like Sam! Not the airport pickup 😂

I'm seriously pissed about guy in red shirts answer about the vegetarian thing. Making fun about how she's young and too idealistic and she will learn soon enough that she can't change the world anyway and that it's not a big deal to throw away your principles for your partners birthday - It honestly baffles me how he can sit there on this couch and proudly say these things while simultaneously admitting that he maybe can't relate to those principles bc he doesn't share them 😅 um like yeah that's obviously the problem here: you don't respect values that you don't have for yourself and that's a really bad personality trait to have. like who is he to tell someone that their values and morals are childish or "not that deep". I bet he would be furious if someone told him this about things that are core values for him.

My partner will literally get up during a ranked league game just to fill my water.

Lmfao not yall thought Jesus was from ninava 😂😂😂 that was Jonah and the whale story

Nunavut is in Canada lmao and I have wanted to live there lmao

ninevah…or often considered BFE perhaps is what her mom maybe was swapping the word for 😂

Nineva is about to become a THANG! "You got me out here in the middle of NINEVA!" #NINEVA

I would've paid for the meat then broke up with him. He wasn't worth it.

Home girl pays her own bills, she can decorate however she likes.

genuinely want to start using the middle of Nineveh

Bridesmaid Story: what is this “I can see both sides and you agreed to be a bridesmaid” nonsense? Agreeing to be a bridesmaid doesn’t mean you’re required to spend thousands of dollars and spend a week of your life fulfilling some entitled brats princess fantasy. What a garbage take.

I do like it when someone isn't afraid to make their home space THEIRS by putting up decor that is "weird" or "childish" or eclectic in some way. Anything less leaves the potential for your house looking like a cold, sterile, doctor's office waiting room. But it sounds like having the doctor's office decor is somewhat needful for the OP because he is expected to regularly host business dinners. So I don't really think either of them are the asshole, but he could have been more gentle in how he said it. Instead of saying "Your bug wall is creepy and your cartoon wall is childish," he should have said that her decor isn't really conducive to a professional get-together or simply that if he hosts a party, it needs to be in a place that reflects his tastes, not hers. It does make you wonder about what the heck they plan on doing down the line, though. If they live together and/or marry, she should still be allowed to have her eclectic decor, but he should be able to have more professional decor. If they can't come to a compromise on that, then they probably aren't compatible and should break up. Actually, the bug wall reminds me of an old lady my mom was friends with that lived a block away that had a HUGE dead spider in a case mounted on her basement hallway wall. She had apparently bought it when she was on a trip with her husband in South America decades ago. It's frightening enough that she actually covered it with construction paper. It was a simple matter to lift the paper if you wanted to look at it, but it was always someone else who lifted it, not me, because that thing was CREEPY.

PNC, Bank of America, and Wells Fargo I know do same-day card replacement

10 minutes ain’t that long

GALVESTON MENTIONED

The steak one makes him an asshole if anything for getting the most expensive steak that is just so gross and selfish

If my wifes flight was landing at 8:50, I'd be there at 8:30 and just chill in the car on my phone just in case something changes. Traveling sucks ass and even though 10 mins isnt a big deal, after flying for hours it kinda sucks.

Why not pick up the McDonalds on the way when you know your kid is picky?

That girls house aesthetic sounds really kick ass and it sounds like that guy doesn’t have a talking about who cares but other peoples opinions are as long as she’s happy it shouldn’t matter to him. Of course there’s a line but it sounds like it’s just things she enjoys…. 🤷‍♀️ he sounds really judgmental. Him saying it’s not “adult” is really disrespectful, disrespectful and degrading. He isn’t hearing himself clearly.

Story 2: NTA 10 minutes to get there, ten minutes at McDonald's, 10 minutes back. Thats 30 minutes. Why do y'all think that's alot? Is McDonald's across the street from your house? Also...the dad was trying to salvage their *original plans,* so it's wild that his wife is that upset.

The airport one ain’t mathin, if she was making calls at 8:05, he ain’t get there till 9:05. Was she not waiting for way more than ten minutes. OP so stuck on the original time, but it doesn’t matter that’s not when she landed. And he wasn’t better prepared the the day his wife would be home. He seems very inconsiderate