the real price of the American Dream for Black women & why I gave it up

Рет қаралды 66,560

Күн бұрын

i gave up the American dream and that resonated with a lot of you. do you know the real price of the American Dream? This is a follow up to my video "I gave up the American Dream. Is the American Dream for Black Women?" where I share 10 things that chasing the American Dream and Capitalism has cost me. From self love as a Black woman, to adopting hustle culture, to deep connections and community to literal student loan debt, we talk about it all.
content included: the real price of the American Dream, Black Women deserve good things, Black woman wage gap, I gave up the American Dream, why I gave up on the American Dream, Black Girl Creative, living slowly, life liberty and the pursuit of happiness, Black woman creative, Hustle Culture is not for Black women, hustle culture is toxic, Nomadic Black Creative Woman, Black Woman Creative Podcast, Follow your own dream, Giving up the american dream, Why I'm giving up the American Dream, The new American Dream, the great resignation, poverty in America, affirmations for Black women, self help for Black women, Personal development Black women, Self love Black Women, Black Woman Artist, Black Woman Chase Your Dreams,
Videos Mentioned in This Video:
🟡 I Gave Up The American Dream: • I gave up the American...
🟡 You're Not Lazy, You're Tired: • you're not lazy; you'r...
🟡 Black Excellence is a Scam: • Black excellence is a ...
🟡 Why I'm not afraid of aging: • why I'm not afraid of ...
🟡 No One is Self Made: • No one is self made.
🟡 Hustle Culture is Not For Black Women: • Hustle Culture is Not ...
Cited Sources:
🌙 www.shrm.org/resourcesandtool...
🌙www.americanprogress.org/arti...
🌙www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank....
▬ Chapters ▬
00:00 What The American Dream Costs
00:51 Self Worth and Value
02:52 The Gift of Presence
03:46 Contentment
06:05 Love for Self
10:13 My Dreams
12:18 Years of Life
13:13 Deep Connection
16:21 Health and Well-Being
18:56 Time, Energy and Maintenance
20:12 The Trap: Debt, Money and Stress
24:38 The Game is Rigged: Racial and Gender Inequalities
27:00 The American Dream is Too Expensive for me
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Пікірлер: 1 000

@mizzmolly7649 2 жыл бұрын

I'm a 60 year old blk woman, and I can tell you that there's no such thing as an American Dream. That was a term that was used about 100 years ago when immigrants arrived at Ellis Island, and only immigrants use that term today. There is no set list of accomplishments one has to achieve. For some people, it's having a successful career, getting married, buying a house and raising a family. For others, it might be living off the grid in a tiny house and growing their own food. Everyone has different dreams.

@imageadvisorsinternational7935 2 жыл бұрын

So happy to read your response. Our younger women are suffering...

@alexarivera9076 2 жыл бұрын

So true ❤️❤️

@luja6256 2 жыл бұрын

Immigrants learned the term “American dream” from Americans.

@vrichards4363 2 жыл бұрын

I teach this in school with of mice and men. The American dream is different for everyone.

@agnesjite-ogbuehi6182 2 жыл бұрын

@@alexarivera9076 M my I

@RoshannasRhetoric 2 жыл бұрын

I’ve been unplugged for about 2 years now. There is no American dream for black women, it’s more of an American NIGHTMARE. When u realize you are playing a game you were never meant to win….🤦🏾‍♀️

@Rastasoul1 Жыл бұрын

Truth!

@ellewoods9396 Жыл бұрын

You must create your own dream. I did! I live on my terms and life is great. Stop worshipping the fake lifestyles the media shows us and create the life of your dreams. I'm proof that it can be done.

@imdifferent7294 Жыл бұрын

@@ellewoods9396 ❤❤❤❤❤❤

@viktoryahmarie8135 Жыл бұрын

This is the truth!!

@marriejames01 Жыл бұрын

Words do manifest. You’ve willed your nightmare.

@7779311sassy 2 жыл бұрын

Great video! As a pharmacist who is a woman I felt this so much! Thankfully I was able to graduate debt free so I didn't have that burden, but once I got my first "real" job I realized how much of a scam this "American Dream" really was. I went into this field to help people, but the corporations only care about metrics: how many shots did you give, how many prescriptions you filled, etc, etc. God forbid you want a lunch break or a day off to take care of a few things and they give you the third degree because they need a 3 month notice. I was so defeated and depressed I cried daily after coming home. I was too ashamed to leave a toxic work environment since my family was so proud of the "success" I obtained because I had a "real" job with benefits. To this day they don't understand why I'm not happy since people in my field make "good" money. Having no control over how you spend your day is not happiness to me, I don't care how much the pay is. This feeling compounded once I became a mother, because now I can't spend as much time with my kids since I have to be at work most of the daylight hours. This is something I talk about with every high school/college student in my life. It's good to make a living but don't forget to also make a life.

@SailorSlay 2 жыл бұрын

Toxic work environments are abusive environments. I hope you can be free one day. I still have anxiety whenever I drive by my old job

@daniella8400 2 жыл бұрын

I can totally relate being a woman in the military, the money is decent but the work environment is strenuous. Work hours are insane with no overtime pay.

@awakeneddaughter3001 2 жыл бұрын

Exactly! I'm sure this resonates with so many "Black" woman, feeling guilty because of the feeling we have to be all to everyone... when our personal values, etc. is being undermined. It's beneficial to reevaluate these aspects. But I'm a believer of the Word, " What's first will be last...". Once we realize the " American Dream" is unattainable and overrated, that's a pivotal moment regarding self-actualization. Because we're all being conditioned with the desired outcome to think and behave a certain way. Ultimately, it's so we can be modern-day slaves to this system.

@thinkchivalryblog4772 2 жыл бұрын

"It's good to make a living, but don't forget to also make a life"... ABSOLUTELY TRUE!! 🙌

@modeljaisimone 2 жыл бұрын

Your story is my story. I quit and I’m so much happier.

@kitten8249 2 жыл бұрын

This is a message that so many black women in particular need to hear. It’s time we stop beating ourselves up for not having “made it”. Success should be on our own terms.

@shintori2808 2 жыл бұрын

People in general need to hear this, but as another black person... I’m getting tired of the Racial Bs. The bottom line is PEOPLE want to many things they do not need. ironically that is also the very reason we have so many cool ,usuefull, time saving, shiny things. Balance is needed. good luck on your journey. one be with you.

@yolandawestbrook8240 2 жыл бұрын

Most women in my circle are working 2-3 jobs while trying to raise their children, meanwhile although I am not in the same income bracket as them, I am getting plenty of rest, enjoying my children and able to enjoy the things in life that makes me happy.

@Nancy22102 2 жыл бұрын

Absolutely!!!!

@dahbajanman7044 2 жыл бұрын

@@yolandawestbrook8240 Black women continue to have kids then try finding a career and that is the biggest reason for most of their struggles.

@daniella8400 2 жыл бұрын

@@dahbajanman7044 that’s because we’re being told, men don’t want successful women. Also, I don’t want to have to send my children to daycare, if I can’t afford to stay home with them for the first 3 years of their life then I’m not having them.

@Dee-oq5ms 2 жыл бұрын

If you go into a nursing home you can see how badly discarded the elderly are. It’s so heartbreaking.

@AleciaRenece 2 жыл бұрын

Oh wow! That is really heartbreaking. We really have to change that.

@jasminejohnson4707 2 жыл бұрын

Yup. Been a CNA for 5 months. It’s triphling ! Even more reason why I aspire to live my life fully.

@Dee-oq5ms 2 жыл бұрын

@@jasminejohnson4707 yes!!! Because once you're deemed useless no one cares, not even family. Some people are lucky but not many.

@Welcometothenow 2 жыл бұрын

It is sad, I’ve seen it. This is why it goes both ways….parents should treat their children right so they can have adult children that truly love them and want to help as they age and not abuse them emotionally and physically. Sometimes the adult child is just not a great person all around, in some cases. My situation, I have a mother who’s an extreme narcissist, will talk about you to the other child, call you expletives and has threatened to kill me, when the younger sibling disrespects me she lets it, and think everything revolves around her….I try to love her through it, but it’s hard. She’s not a senior yet, but until she changes, it will get worst even in her old age. My entire life has thus far has been intertwined in her mess. I’m 30, and now trying to move on from my mother and sibling.

@lindabrown0 2 жыл бұрын

@@Welcometothenow Please move as fast as your legs can carry you away from these people, family or not. Don't absorb the "it's your fault" scenario. Find what makes you happy and stick to your own agenda. Best wishes...........

@bobbydansby1114 2 жыл бұрын

So you've detached. Beautiful thing. This world will make you feel so insufficient. The greatest thing a person can do it to simply "DETACH" from what the world considers success to be.

@AleciaRenece 2 жыл бұрын

I love everything about this so much. Thank you so much for sharing this! 💛☺️

@kiaj.d.5855 2 жыл бұрын

I’m trying but struggling.

@sharzhazd3647 2 жыл бұрын

PERFECTLY SAID, BLESSINGS SISTER 🙏🏽💯

@tnishagreen1224 2 жыл бұрын

This is all TRUE FACTZ

@st3019 2 жыл бұрын

Oppresive system!!! ……I don’t know how some people can believe that nonsense .

@auntielu4394 2 жыл бұрын

I’m 49 and I am so mad that I believed in the American dream. I am correcting my path now and living a humble life but if I had it to do all over again I would have never subscribed to this false dream. Live your life the way that your spirit tells you, believe in your organic self. Thank you for your testimony.

@mizbootsie8175 2 жыл бұрын

I'm 47. Struggling to have the courage. I look at these young women, and wish I had come to these realizations much earlier.

@theevolvingmindset333 2 жыл бұрын

I feel you! Im not mad though. I’m GRATEFUL that I realized it before I left this earthly body and soul of mine. I'm 51 and wish I'd come to this realization at least a decade ago. I love to see these young women 'get it' earlier than I did. Now that I'm WOKE there's no going back to the myth of chasing the "American Dream"

@awakeneddaughter3001 2 жыл бұрын

@@mizbootsie8175 Same here, but better late than never!

@asage5801 Жыл бұрын

I agree. Even though i climbed fairly high on the so-called corporate ladder, i had an epiphany at 50. I released the “need” for more power in a made-up construct. Much more healthy and happy.

@fergiemon18 2 жыл бұрын

I wholly felt when you said “I got the degree and the good job and realized, “girl ain’t no money in this either!“” 🤣🤣 as an architect I know the vibes lol

@angelic680 2 жыл бұрын

Right 😂😂😂

@AleciaRenece 2 жыл бұрын

Lmbooooo! Listeeeeeen! You get it! Much love and joy to you! ☺️💛🌺

@shoshanna8475 2 жыл бұрын

mechanical engineering degree - wholly unsatisfying

@kittensmitten3287 2 жыл бұрын

@@shoshanna8475 oh no really. Is it low paying?

@imageadvisorsinternational7935 2 жыл бұрын

Wrong education choice...if you wanted money choose Finance or something business related.

@lindaadams1008 2 жыл бұрын

Student loan debt is a scam, and the interest used to just break my heart. It took God to show me that I could pay my loan off. I started 01/ 2015 and finished 01/ 2020. I paid off $66,034. That journey taught me some serious discipline. I'm happy living a very comfortable simple life and I'm not interested in signing on anybody's dotted line...😊

@prestigiouswisdom1283 2 жыл бұрын

This give me hope! Thanks

@yert1512 2 жыл бұрын

The Bible says not to compare ourselves with other's. When we do this we are often disappointed and the devil can use that disappointment to distract and confuse us. Run your own race. Push the thoughts of unfairness out of your head. God loves you.

@msliberated3899 2 жыл бұрын

Amen

@TabIsrael 2 жыл бұрын

Folks don’t study the Bible no more...and so they get caught up in loving this world, and end up disappointed 😢...like her.

@marykinuthia6067 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for the reminder.

@victoriataylor5584 2 жыл бұрын

@@TabIsrael people don't study the Bible, because there are too many contradictions, and there's still too many things that are left out of the Bible, they are not explained.

@awakeneddaughter3001 2 жыл бұрын

Many of the practices outlined in the scriptures are intentionally and subtlety countered in this society. That's the goal of the enemy. But there is hope because the scriptures also assert that the last will be first and vice- versa. Genesis 15:13-14 also foretells of the wonderful outcome for those who return to TMH's laws, statutes and commandments. And this is at hand, which explains why things may seem so unbearable... until our redemption. This also align with the scriptures about birthing pain. It seems unbearable during labor- but joy ensues and triumphs! As for the contradictions, Yah also forewarned about this... cautioning those who add or take away from His Word. The Truth will always have "2 or 3 witnesses" or be stated somewhere else in the scriptures- either in the traditional bible or removed text. That's an awesome Eloheim who is worthy of our praise! Because His Word is the only thing that is being fulfilled and can be trusted in this world. HalleluYah!

@eternallyborn 2 жыл бұрын

This is so good!! I'm a black man on the autism spectrum. My "disability" is mild, but I'm still inclined to think outside of the box by default. Given that, I never really believed in the American Dream. It always struck me as strange as a child that people valued appearing to be successful over living a life that really made them happy. Living in a country where people feel pressured to follow it and mostly conform, I found I've had to work on my self-esteem, try to keep my heart open, and seek out people and places inclined to appreciate and try to understand me. I'm glad more people are talking about these kinds of ideas. Edit: Spelling; actually answered your question(s) a little

@AleciaRenece 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for sharing your story and experience with us. We see and celebrate you. Much love and joy to you!

@yvonneoy3124 2 жыл бұрын

You are a beautiful soul

@eternallyborn 2 жыл бұрын

@@AdultAuDHDCommunity I know! We need to make our experiences known so people like us can have pride and start thriving on their own terms. Thanks for sharing! Hopefully I can come to know your story more over time.

@awakeneddaughter3001 2 жыл бұрын

Exactly! You've articulated what many may have been feeling so well! From my personal experiences, people diagnosed as being on the Spectrum or introverts are collectively more intuned to their genuine self, versus being conformed to social standards.

@geraldboykin6159 2 жыл бұрын

Personal events or circumstances are a major player in the matter of the chasing the American Dream.

@kadlacdixon-thedrawmylifep3293 2 жыл бұрын

17:20 That too, my mother worked hard her whole life raised 5 kids and 2 grandkids, was a Sunday school teacher, worked full time, went back to college at age 48 and by age 53 was graduating with her masters in business, she was going back for her doctorate degree, she took a couple weeks break to get her health in order before she finally retired from AT&T after 30 something years and start her own business, she went in for an outpatient surgery, the doctor botched it and she never came back home... I used to wonder if my mother knew those were her last years of life, would she have spent them burning the midnight oil studying all night. My mother hardly slept in her bed, she would always fall asleep in her office chair. The price we pay...

@InfatuationFaze 2 жыл бұрын

I am so sorry your mother is no longer here, bless her soul 🙏🏾. This year, 2022 is special. We all opened our eyes and realized it’s not worth it. I told myself, if this was my last year on earth how do I want to spend this time? My very close friend, passed 3 years ago. She would of been 45 this past Saturday. She had 4 kids, 5 grand babies, siblings, and she sat next to me at work. We worked (10am-8 or 9pm, sometimes later) open to close 6 days a week. I took two weeks off work and was at the hospital until they wheeled her away to donate her heart. I quit a few months later. Life ……. Like…. To be next to someone everyday and then they gone just like that. She had been avoiding going to the doctor and every time I asked her if she was okay she would say yes out of fear of missing out on work. Work will always be here and when we pass on, we will be replaced and life goes on. I learned and I will never work that hard ever again. Life is happening now. Can’t live it, if your health doesn’t come first.

@LMae-rj9qi Жыл бұрын

So sorry to hear about mom's passing. Keep her memory close to your heart. It seems to help. Hugs

@easiersaidwithmeg 2 жыл бұрын

Omg I relate to you so much. I just turned 29 I am single and childless. It took me 9 years to finish undergrad (because I was active duty military). I didn’t graduate until 2020 and I was so ashamed and embarrassed of my “accomplishment”. I didn’t even attend graduation. I was so sad about it at my age. I recently quit working and live off military benefits. I started taking medicine and going to therapy.

@AleciaRenece 2 жыл бұрын

MUCH LOVE AND JOY TO YOU, SIS! I see you and celebrate you. And I COMPLETELY understand that judgement and shame. We know it all too intimately. I love that you are able to live off off of benefits and take time to nurture and love on YOU. You deserve!

@zabssoutherngirl2019 2 жыл бұрын

You should be proud of yourself for completing your goal. You had a legitimate reason as to why it took a while. Thank you for your service and sacrifice. ♥️

@DelayedNotDenied 2 жыл бұрын

Congratulations for finishing your degree Meghan!! Please don’t ever be ashamed for you accomplishments no matter your age! It took me 8/9 years for me to as well. I was 27 when I attended my ceremony so I totally get it. Remember there are ppl still wishing to get where you are 😘

@jones2277 2 жыл бұрын

congratulations on your achievements! you are a rockstar!

@mizzmolly7649 2 жыл бұрын

Wow. I read your story and got something completely different from it. I see a woman who selflessly served our country and stuck with college and graduated no matter how long it took. I guarantee you that if you had been a man, you would have seen yourself as accomplished and determined. Why are we women so damn hard on ourselves?

@Hair2Stay100 2 жыл бұрын

It took me 19 years to earn my degree and I saw it as an encouragement to others to never give up. Push through even if it's a class a semester.

@allainsasha 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you soooo much for this you are truly inspiring

@goldrosexox4579 2 жыл бұрын

I love this. Thank you for sharing.. this is so inspiring

@nadinebrown-vassell1639 2 жыл бұрын

This not a race. Everyone has their own events going on in their life. Some had kids early had to put school on hold. Then their kids go to work and they finish up school. We should value ourselves at all times. Self value is important. Not everyone goes to school. We have to know what our goals are and some goals take a longer time to achieve at times.

@artisticagi 2 жыл бұрын

I never bought into the American dream. I played along and still am. I have my own ultimate goals that exist outside of it. However I worked hard to please my immigrant parents and graduated top ten percent in high schools sacrificing a socia life to do so. That enabled me to get a full ride scholarship in college. I graduated with less than 20k in debt. I incensed my parents by not pursuing an engineering degree. When I graduated I couldn’t pay back my debt. The American Dream is based off consumerism. But I had to sit back and evaluate what I wanted, and it was to get a 6 figure job. That came from my own personal motivation as well as to pay off the debt. I got that, and have been careful to not buy into the status markers. I’m relearning to appreciate looking poor, not sharing my success on social media, and not looking for validation from the outside world. I’m glad this message is spreading. I say take time to decide for yourself what it is you want out of life. I’m at peace knowing I can buy my way out of the consumerism trap now.

@msliberated3899 2 жыл бұрын

This right here is the secret to life, looking poor but rich on the inside and financial freedom.

@napturalee_8815 Ай бұрын

This 💙

@adreansilver3242 2 жыл бұрын

I opted out as well. I have so much more peace, time, my health is better, and I wouldn't change a thing. Right now my success is just being. I'm in Tanzania, Africa right now enjoying myself with my son. Everyone who breaks thru the mental shackles of America will see the true reality and realize they were given an illusion.

@inmeditatewetrust 2 жыл бұрын

Hey! Yes. I have my eyes on Tanzania too. I'm actually interested in creating some roots in Tanzania. Im about to graduate with my occupational therapy degree and would like to work with special needs children there. Having peace is def a priority including peace in my environment.

@Femy_luna 2 жыл бұрын

ooh you are welcome ...hello from Tanzania🇹🇿

@barbarasutton9683 2 жыл бұрын

I'm 62 and moved to Ghana at 60..life is calm and peaceful..I'm finally living intentionally..

@adreansilver3242 2 жыл бұрын

@@barbarasutton9683 So true. The peace and serenity I feel is how we should feel while living.

@antoinettemoore976 2 жыл бұрын

Why is this not a TED Talk? This is beyond informative... It's freedom! I had such a hard time quitting my job to become a stay at home mom and later decided to homeschool my children. I always felt like I wasn't enough in societies eyes. I always felt that I had to prove myself to working mom's or mom's who choose to send their kids to school. I finally found my self worth and don't feel the need to explain myself to anyone. I also came to the conclusion that my looks, just like my money doesn't validate my worth. I'm letting go of makeup more and more... In general I'm unbecoming according to society and becoming my true self! ❤️💕🙏

@kolyxix Жыл бұрын

That is the best comment out here.

@TheRealJPhillips 2 жыл бұрын

The american dream is exactly what it's called, A DREAM. I also always tell ppl that Not only am i content with what i have but, I'm also content with what i DONT have. Nice video

@LMae-rj9qi Жыл бұрын

That's some real truth right there, John Phillips.

@mrmoe110 2 жыл бұрын

Chasing “the dream” is a big contributor to the rise of anxiety and depression. Before we were flooded with ads and stories telling us what we should be on television and the radio. But now social media and the internet put all those ads, stories, hopes, dreams, and comparisons in the palm of our hand 24/7.

@LMae-rj9qi Жыл бұрын

So what are you saying, Long Island Legba. I want to hear more!

@virgostar11.11 2 жыл бұрын

This right here is powerful!!! No lies told. Crazy how we live in a world where you have to pay to live...the whole system is exhausting!!!

@AleciaRenece 2 жыл бұрын

Exhausting!!!! Much love and joy to you! 😊💛

@Stephanie-cs6uv 2 жыл бұрын

Exhausting ...and I'm done, doing the bare minimum to not have to depend on others and that's it.

@patricedixon2634 2 жыл бұрын

Exhausting, everything is about capital to make someone else rich. Modern day slavery.

@awakeneddaughter3001 2 жыл бұрын

Life is not meant to be this way. The fact that there's a charge for resources that Yah provides for free speaks volume. Yes, modern-day slavery to the system.

@Heymscarter 2 жыл бұрын

I needed this 30 years ago but thankful to receive it today. :)

@AleciaRenece 2 жыл бұрын

Yeees!!! I needed this a while back too, but I'm living and learning and sharing as I go. I hope this encourages some one else! ☺️💛🌺 Much love and joy to you!

@quettarichard6693 2 жыл бұрын

Big facts!

@234forte 2 жыл бұрын

You guys are getting it right on time believe me.💛

@ChineduOpara 2 жыл бұрын

Seconded.

@SunRayBabyJ 2 жыл бұрын

Amen!

@RS-cz4rq 2 жыл бұрын

I'm 56 and I so identify with you. My health started to go downhill in my late twenties. When I had a heart attack in my early forties and went on disability, everyone started asking me what I do all day 🤔

@AleciaRenece 2 жыл бұрын

Oh wow! Thank you so much for sharing this with us! I wish you much rest and healing and MUCH JOY! 💛☺️

@renahill6565 2 жыл бұрын

Stress is a silent killer, 🤫 take care of you, people are trying to impress people who don't like them and they don't like them, let it go.

@awakeneddaughter3001 2 жыл бұрын

@@renahill6565 Greqt advice.

@LifehasnoNiche 2 жыл бұрын

American dream cost me peace freedom and wealth...92K in student loan debt. Social and religious dream cost me peace freedom and wealth...helping and bailing out family& giving bucoo money to the "church".

@catherineb. Жыл бұрын

I turned 30 this year. I've been through a lot. I gave up on the American dream. I am content with where I am now

@AleciaRenece Жыл бұрын

I love this for you! ☺️💛🌺

@annicks7385 2 жыл бұрын

You hit the nail on the head . I opted out too. For various reasons . And got insulted and called lazy too 🤣 I can’t wait for my kids to get a little older so we can start a family band in our living room 🤣 The American dream is very expensive in various ways and it will never be enough . It is unsustainable and I think people are waking up and going against the grain. Even the influencers who come online to push you to buy or look up to them , they’re the exception , never the rule . And they’re mostly lying . Success for me is fresh food and free time and vacations . Dinners that are freshly made most nights . Time to have a set schedule for my facials and pedicures . Time to read a book and laugh

@AleciaRenece 2 жыл бұрын

I LOVE your dream! It feels so good!

@bbills4186 2 жыл бұрын

I really wish I had this advice when I was younger. I graduated from high school, went straight to college and graduated with a child in tow. Struggled as a single parent and kept pushing myself until I was exhausted (with a mortgage). I realized there is no point in overachieving. Once you get (fill in the blank) you never relish the accomplishment you just move onto the next. I saw a meme once that said, "buy the shoes, eat the cake, take the trip" and I think the gist of it is don't be afraid to live in the now. Your elders are good role models but don't be afraid to break the mold and go against the grain and do the unexpected. Capitalism ensures that if you fall down your replacement will step right over you to take your spot. Remember your ancestors were slaves, so you don't have to be one.

@lamarphillips2764 2 жыл бұрын

Be free, my young friend, be free. Keep telling these truths. All the young people of the world should know this before they wake up one day when they are old and tired and realize they have been bamboozled.

@psychedupbruce 2 жыл бұрын

The KZfaq algorithm is getting blacker! So happy I get to hear more voices and new perspectives. Thanks for sharing your story!

@S.Hydra9 2 жыл бұрын

Sister I 100 % agree with your take on this situation. I am a 49 year old black man who has spent most of my life breaking my back and mind for the so called "American dream." It's really a waste of time for all the reasons you've stated and more. Capitalism has turned us from a collective of people to indiviualistic consumers with little concern for the next persons well being. People these days equate value to things and what you can potentially do for them as opposed to valuing the life of another as sacred.

@moniqueloomis9772 2 жыл бұрын

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

@todrapayne Жыл бұрын

Truth. I traveled throughout Europe for 3 years as a nomad and I got to see capitalism and the hustle through new eyes. Certain European countries were chasing capitalism's promises as hard as the US, while others valued time, rejuvenation, family, health so much more. I saw a slower pace of life, especially in Scandinavian countries and why they're always ranked the happiest countries in the world. I'm now detached from the Keeping Up With The Jones'. I do what makes me happy.

@cnwonye4932 2 жыл бұрын

I chased the illusive "American Dream" for more than 40 decades. Not anymore. I am truly all good now. Keep up the great content.

@spaceeStacey Жыл бұрын

My family came to visit me. I was 32 and the recurring question was "What do you want to do with your life?" I kept replying "nothing" and they gave me the silent treatment for 3 days in my own home. Then told me I shouldn't give up on myself before they left. I just wanted to be with them. I just wanted to be alive but instead it was a constant challenge to explain why I'm worthy.

@TheHENRYJONES13 2 жыл бұрын

I’m so glad I found this. I have been feeling depressed because I’m 31 and I felt I didn’t live up to society’s expectations. It’s like I’m working myself to death to prove that I too deserve to live and not look lazy. But as a black woman, I learned that we’re always working so hard but we rarely get the respect, recognition, or benefits of doing so. I feel a change coming and I think the universe and God is telling me to stop looking at what I don’t have because society standards does not have anything to do with my value as a person. I deserve to enjoy life. I felt I need to have a masters by 30 and when I got it it didn’t feel good. Because I overworked myself during college and never enjoyed the process or the materials learned.

@mtymama6598 2 жыл бұрын

I can relate. I’m Asian and we all do this chasing thing with working more hours so we don’t feel lazy. I work a ton, have an masters degree, but all the work and hours spent as an adjunct instructor and other side jobs too takes away from Self-care & family time. But I’ve always worked so it’s a habit that’s hard to just take a break and relax. Started working at 15 years old during summers.

@ronaldsmith8428 2 жыл бұрын

You’re absolutely right about all of this stuff. I figured it out a long time ago that it’s total bullshit. Total waste of time, energy and happiness. We don’t need all of the stuff that we think we do. And if we’re acquiring things to be accepted by people, and those are exactly the people we don’t need to be around. If people only except us for what we have then they are worthless to us. Don’t need them. Keep going my sista! 😎

@LMae-rj9qi Жыл бұрын

That's some real truth: "We don’t need all of the stuff that we think we do. And if we’re acquiring things to be accepted by people, and those are exactly the people we don’t need to be around."

@jeremygillihan 2 жыл бұрын

To anyone who feels insecure about their age and education, let me share with you a brief summary of my story. I've spent 6 years just working on my Associates in engineering 😂 I'm finishing this Fall with University Physics II being my final class before working on my Bachelor's. There were times that I had to repeat classes, because they were very difficult, which set me back a little. I had to repeat University Physics I three times, only to get a B on my final attempt. I felt like I was literally dumb, because the people around me would make A's on their tests, even 100's, and I could only get good grades half of the time in my core classes. Many people I know passed their first time with flying colors. I could only take 2 classes per semester, because I have to work a full time job to support my family while going to school, so there isn't a lot of time for much homework. All my friends already have their Bachelor's and are working their dream jobs making their high salaries while I'm still struggling with my undergraduate degree and working full time at a gas station. I hardly get to keep most of the money I earn at my job because of bills, expenses, etc. It's like running in a never-ending circle. I actually like my job, believe it or not, but sometimes, I wish I could go to college full time instead of having to work and support family. I would probably finish my degree a lot sooner, but who knows. Sometimes, I wonder if my degree is even going to be worth it. I hope it will be. I am still determined. BTW, I am 24.

@allainsasha 2 жыл бұрын

Your on the right track don’t give up and don’t stop

@Fay1106 2 жыл бұрын

Go for it girl

@nordette 2 жыл бұрын

Where do you live? Some places give you grants for living expenses if your a mature student going to school

@jeremygillihan 2 жыл бұрын

@@Fay1106 🤣 It's okay, but I'm a guy.

@ClayMastah344 2 жыл бұрын

You got this biggest thing though: NETWORK. When I say that I don’t mean you have to go to mixers but keep contacts, make yourself visible, join programs or clubs if you have time or energy. If you can do none of those things, build ur network over timr

@MsPhillgood 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing your opinion about the “American Dream”. I’m a military veteran. I served this country for 20 years. For me to get all of my entitlements that was promised to me I have to file claims. For me to go to the veterans hospital and not get billed I have to have an approved claim that says I’m sick enough to be treated for a disorder that was caused by the military environment. I have an adult son that went to an art college. Prior to college, he was on IEPs because of comprehension; no adhd. At college orientation, I asked the college rep to speak with a counselor that works with iep students; not available at orientation. But there is a counselor that works with iep students. Knowing my son had this issue, I asked him to give me authorization to handle his academic affairs. After 1 year, his father and I went to get him for Christmas break. The college administrator called and asked us to stop by before heading home. We were told our son is on academic probation due to his grades. I asked why wasn’t I informed; there’s an authorization form on file. Suddenly it’s not available. So long story short we were out of 10k and had to appeal to get him back in. The appeal process required proof that our son had a plan to prevent him from failing in the future. Paid more money for tutoring. The tutor suggested we get our son tested for autism. Not only is he autistic and on the spectrum it’s damn near impossible to get assistance since he was diagnosed later in life. Some American dream; more like a nightmare.

@AleciaRenece 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you SO much for sharing your experiences and how this has affected you. Your voice and experience is so important. I see you and celebrate you. I am so sorry that you have to go through all of this when you dedicated so much of your life to the service. Unfortunately, I've seen much of the same with family and friends who served. It's a slap in the face to you all. And The system fails your son. That is absolutely ridiculous. I am so sorry. And you're right. That IS a nightmare!

@yolandawestbrook8240 2 жыл бұрын

Always something that's why I would rather do nothing.

@luciskies Жыл бұрын

As a recently diagnosed autistic and adhd person who’s always struggled with just “keeping up” with everyone else…omg your videos have been so therapeutic. I’m also a daughter of two hard working immigrants (thankfully they’re both retired) and desperately wanted to make them proud. My lower energy levels, lack of multitasking skills, difficulty understanding social cues, hypersensitivity, and executive function issues makes it so hard to keep a FT corporate job. I’ve always felt so worthless for not being able to just “adult” and become “successful.” I’ve started to realize how much of a scam capitalism is back in 2019 but your videos hit differently. Like I didn’t realize how much my self worth was attached to making money and being hyper productive. I’m so grateful to be stepping down to a PT job because I of my living situation (live with a close friend and my partner.) There’s so much unlearning to do and I love your channel. Ty and you’re such an amazing vocalist 💛💛💛

@HoneySnowflake 2 жыл бұрын

Another great one! The dream is costing me money, time and mental health. The dream was aleady a killer but the pandemic has made it a massacre.

@AffluenceAlchemywithSarahFleur 2 жыл бұрын

Comparison is a disease. You have to find happiness within yourself and never attach it to "accomplishments". Great video Queen 💕

@LMae-rj9qi Жыл бұрын

Real truth!

@karenl7786 2 жыл бұрын

As a 54 year old African American woman, let me tell you it's very hopeful to hear this dialog. There are so many of us who feel this way. Never stop questioning and challenging the status quo.

@zadabeasley 2 жыл бұрын

The pandemic woke a lot of folks up. This is such high value, high quality content! I’m subscribing and adding you to a community I believe will transcend time, transform thinking and cause humans to take a look at themselves and decide the life they want to live without getting caught up in the matrix! I encourage you to capture this in a written and verbal publication. I could say much much more…You’ve found your critical path. Keep inspiring! ✨✨🌟✨✨

@neonelishuax1962 2 жыл бұрын

This is SUCH a great video. I believe that G-d has enlightened you. I couldn't agree with you more here. I'm almost 50, single, on ssi (welfare), and most people see me as trash. It's worse for folks who are homeless. Don't forget about us, we exist too. Blessings to you.

@sjtalksandlife 2 жыл бұрын

I'm right there with you, I had to quit working due to my back, legs, and hands, and its depressing.

@AleciaRenece 2 жыл бұрын

Many blessings to you! We almost were evicted last year. It was devastating. Yah is the Source. You are worthy. You matter. I see you and celebrate you!

@mytwosense5223 2 жыл бұрын

"they're not selling us the object, but they're selling us what we want to feel".... wow, so true.

@blorrancurry303 2 жыл бұрын

Finally someone saying what most of us are feeling and thinking. More people need to hear this. 🙏🏽

@SRoseBlog 2 жыл бұрын

So I will watch this for the 10th time and shout amen as tho it's an urban church service. And side note: I shaved off my head after being emancipated from an oppressive marriage. And it's nearing a month of feeling insecure and judged and watched with my new look. And I realize how beautiful you looked and I feel a tiny little more confident

@rui37CdjOe 2 жыл бұрын

You’re so right ……Hard work hardly ever pays off if you’re a black person, I found that it usually results in MORE WORK…..a punishment!

@darkskinwoman 2 жыл бұрын

This was theraputic. Please continue having these meaningful conversations.

@AleciaRenece 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much! I definitely will keep speaking my truth and experiences and share what I've been learning. Much love and joy to you! 💛🌺😊

@kadlacdixon-thedrawmylifep3293 2 жыл бұрын

16:38 Whoa that's crazy, I lived a lifestyle like that, but not that young. 16 is way too young. I couldn't get my first job until I was grown and I thought my mother was just being mean, but she would always say 'Once you start working you have to work for the rest of your life.' I tried to do the same for my daughter. I wanted to at least get her through college if she wanted to, or whatever she wanted without working endlessly and just focusing on what she wanted. She wanted to model, I paid for her competitions ect. She wanted to open her online clothing store, I bought her a vendors list and what ever else she would need. because I didn't want to see her struggle like I did and feel stuck like I do. I always wanted someone to support my dreams and didn't have that, so I said I would support my child's dream in whatever way I could. I was willing to take on more jobs if it meant my daughter could build the future she actually wanted. Doing the career she actually wanted instead of doing what she had to do to survive... I didn't let my daughter work through high school and didn't really want her to work through college because that is way too much, but her too following the 'American Dream' wanting the latest phones as soon as they drop and the finest of clothes and she started down the same path of always working to keep up with the latest...Like right now she is 7 months pregnant and still trying to work full time and still go to college. This was not the reason I worked so hard and struggled, just so she can work hard and struggle...Uh this vicious cycle...

@LCherry 2 жыл бұрын

My Sistah......You nailed that right on the head!!! Everything you said. I'm 56 and I've been on a journey for almost 5 years and realized that this rat race aka capitalism did not have US in mind at all! I thoroughly enjoyed watching this video. Thank you!!! Peace and blessings.

@hadijakalyegira4107 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for your message “received”. Debt, broke, broken and stressed , I refuse to live this way.

@AleciaRenece 2 жыл бұрын

You got this! We both got this! I believe in you so much! 💛😊🌻🌞

@Lunay08 2 жыл бұрын

Alecia, thank you SO much for this video. I recently found Buddhism and its been super healing for me but let me tell you, im still recovering from wanting the American dream. Ive always wanted a house since I moved into the city, but recently I decided to give up that so called "dream". Why? because its a materialistic dream, It kept me from loving my life as it is now and only living in the future. Im still trying to keep myself grounded and in the present, and its hard but its been a healing process. Life is wonderful, and Im learning to love myself little by little. I have been able to let go of stress little by little. My back pain has been healing, I lost weight, even my sleep has gotten better, ALL just from getting rid of this mindset of what I think my life NEEDS to look like. Your mind is a powerful tool that can be used to heal your physical well being.

@sjtalksandlife 2 жыл бұрын

You are so right. I beat myself up for not getting my bachelor's, even though there reasons why I couldn't finish. I feel bad because I didn't get my dream job. I'm over 50, so I keep telling myself that it's not too late. I also had to quit working due to disabilities. Now, I'm beating myself up for not being successful on You Tube its bad. Thank-you for this video..new scribe..😍

@moniqueloomis9772 2 жыл бұрын

Your last personal point is so relatable.

@nim3408 2 жыл бұрын

I FEEL you on THIS! As a Black man, I found myself CONSTANTLY trying to keep up with and, attain the things racist Patriaechy and, even some of the people of my community claimed what I needed to be a 'man'. I finally realized that patriarchy was'nt part of my ancestrial culture. My life s SO much better now that I've divested from it. I know NOW that wyte corporate patriarchal pathology views ALL Black men as it's enemy. I say....DIVEST Brothers and, Sisters, it's the only way to live your BEST life!

@AleciaRenece 2 жыл бұрын

YES. Divest! Much love and joy to you!

@viktoryahmarie8135 Жыл бұрын

Interesting, what’s part of your lineage? The women taking care of the men and kids 🤢

@meandmrc12 2 жыл бұрын

This is the first video of yours I’ve listened to. I’ve literally had to pause and take notes. You truly are sacred (and smart, beautiful, with a kind soul). You have single-handedly made the internet better. Wow, Sis. Keep thriving.

@aimeepaterson4423 2 жыл бұрын

AMEN, To EVERYTHING You’re Saying In This Video.😔 I Worked 3 Jobs Too At One Point In My Life; One FT & 2 PT. I Collapsed Eventually & Took Time Off. It Was During 5 Months Sick Leave That I Realised There Was a Different Way! After That, I Gave Up Traditional Lifestyle. Now I Call Myself a Minimalist Health & Wellness Nomad. I’m Mainly Living Abroad & a Calm, Slow, Wellness-Focused Lifestyle. Couldn’t Be Happier. Life Fulfilment & A Great, Beautiful Lifestyle.❤️

@weili6599 2 жыл бұрын

Alecia, I love hearing your thoughts. I genuinely feel so understood when I watch your videos. When you talk about celebrating our own achievements and achieving them at our own pace, I think about raising children and how even though pediatricians will tell you each child develop in their own time, there's still an expected time frame for a child to achieve these milestones and if they don't, then they are considered delayed. I have to constantly remind myself to not rush my kids, to not compare them to others or even each other, that they will achieve on their own time when they are ready and trying to rush them only adds stress to myself and them. Also, during the pandemic especially, I've had to evaluate friendships. If someone else wants to be constantly achieving and producing, that's them, but that's not me so if they can't respect that and not be pushy about me living and producing like them, that relationship isn't for me. Similarly, if you're only ever contacting me because you need something from me, that's not for me either.

@AleciaRenece 2 жыл бұрын

WEEEEEEEEI!!!! ☺️💛 Hiiiiiiiii! YEEEEEEEEEEES! To ALL of thiiiiiiiiis! Thank you so much for sharing! I didn't even consider that from a parent's perspective and how kids are labeled as "delayed". By whose standards?! Each child is unique and needs their own nurturing. And that may require different milestones and different things. That's SUCH an Excellent point. It makes me think of even the Special Education department in schools. I can see how that plays out. And I completely feel you on the friendship end. This pandemic has been pretty isolating for me and I understand folks are going through a lot in their own personal life. Everyone is busy and trying to survive. But if they are ONLY reaching out when they want something and aren't mindful of it.. It makes me pause. And do you remember in the beginning when everyone was like "Just start a business" in the beginning of the pandemic?! How insulting, infuriating and out of touch. Folks started approaching about business opportunities. I was like PLEEEEEEASE leave me alone. Lol. I don't mean any harm, but no. Love you!!! ☺️💛 You're amazing!!!

@nakiatexas10 2 жыл бұрын

I'm so grateful to you for this content on this Sunday afternoon. You put everything I've been feeling into words perfectly. So validating. I moved to DC alone last year and making friendships here is predicated on status, career, degrees, neighborhood, car, etc. The black excellence/hustle culture is outta control. All I want is peace and community. EYE can opt out, but who's with me? Does opting out mean isolation?

@AleciaRenece 2 жыл бұрын

Much love and joy to you! And the Black professional scene and culture here in the DMV is HUUUGE. I totally get it. Not only is the living so high, but the culture is all about hustling and griding. It's stressful. Peace and deep community is the goal for me as well. There are definitely pockets of amazing community, it's just tucked away. But I promise you that it's there!

@toriyt2714 2 жыл бұрын

Yes, peace and community. I never put it into words but you said it.

@nellanoirMD 2 жыл бұрын

I live in DC as well. I can attest to this exhausting culture. Slowly figuring it out and not allowing myself to feel guilty when I just can’t sometimes. Sending you peace and love my dear.

@favored4life 2 жыл бұрын

So true, I'm in the DMV as well and it's out of control. The 5 of us or so in these comments should connect and build community.

@doricashu4984 2 жыл бұрын

@yvettegbrown9670 2 жыл бұрын

I resonate with this message as a 58 year old Melinated Woman. A descendant of enslaved people. Like you I did not complete my educational journey until I was 37

@jnyerere 2 жыл бұрын

In October 2021, I got fed up with my job giving me excuses as to why I couldn't use my leave so I quit with the plan of traveling for 2 out of 6 months while looking for a job that had a better work/life balance. So far, I've seen 4 new countries, met so many different people and now that I'm back looking for my next job, my philosophy moving forward will be to quit my job every 3-4 yrs and take a mini 6 month retirement. Rinse and repeat that process until the day I die. My mother's untimely death at 56 taught me that death doesn't wait for you to retire and enjoy the fruits of your labor. When death is ready to come for you, it comes for you. So far quitting is the best thing I've ever done and even though it's only for 6 months, it's taught me to never look at work the same way again.

@minichris11 2 жыл бұрын

Okay I'm binging your content now because I feel like even though I'm probably way older than you, we are kindreds. Hope you don't mind me saying it. There's soooooo much truth in your words!

@AleciaRenece 2 жыл бұрын

I don't mind AT ALL! Much love to you!!! 💛🌺😊

@TApple-hp7kx 2 жыл бұрын

Earning your rest...earning your healing, hit home for real.....this is absolutely true. Wow! Thank you for this, because I feel stuck in this oppressive system.

@omccoy1018 2 жыл бұрын

Yes, hit home, I have to EARN My time and rest. I have to ask my supervisor for approval for time off of work .... stressful!

@iam0ptimistic 2 жыл бұрын

It's so ironic. My name is also Alisha(spelled differently) lol. I too wanted to be an artist when I was a child. And between some family and outsiders told me the same thing about artists being broke. We won't make much money, you need to go into a field where you GUARANTEED to make money. It hurt so much when I look back on it. This American dream is doing nothing for me or my mental health. Like you said in your last video.. we're not lazy, we're just TIRED!

@jaketasjourney 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for this. I am in a state of depression right know because of certain things in life. I know it will pass. In Jesus' name. This message has changed my perspective on so much. Thank you for your obedience in sharing this.

@BeBeautifullyYou 2 жыл бұрын

I’m fighting to keep from slipping into depression but with everything going on around us now, it’s saddening but I’m believing in my prayers, my faith and Jesus. I’ve been feeling “stuck” for so long. Stay strong, Sister.

@jaketasjourney 2 жыл бұрын

@@BeBeautifullyYou I hear you. Thank you. You keep pressing on as well. It will pass.

@jaketasjourney 2 жыл бұрын

@@BeBeautifullyYou I pray for you. You pray for me 😊

@serenedione 2 жыл бұрын

Chasing "The American dream" has cost me my marriage.

@kat64470 2 жыл бұрын

Also, this reminds me of the Haitians that came here on a boat. They beat them with whips and treated them like trash! You're so correct about people treating other people as products. And during the pandemic some evil politicians said let the older people sacrifice themselves. I take care of both my parents and I love them being around, although it can be hard work. I love having multiple generations in one home. Our people need to understand it's ok to have multiple generations in one household.

@AleciaRenece 2 жыл бұрын

Yes to ALL of this!!! They literally show us on a daily basis that they do not care about us. At. All.

@travellady2783 2 жыл бұрын

Went to college and graduate school, earned three degrees, became a Therapist working for organizations, which means I'm building other people's dream and now after 12 years and still no license, I'm honestly ready to live a more simple life. I will work for another year or two, save my money and take a year sabbatical. I also own a small business on the side, so I may walk away from my main career to just focus on my side business. I have enjoyed helping others for 12 years, but now I'm tired and self care is imperative!

@AleciaRenece 2 жыл бұрын

I am ALL over that. ☺️💛 I want that for you so much and I believe that you can have that! You deserve!

@SandraSpeaks18 2 жыл бұрын

You honestly get it. So many people just don’t get it. Listening to you is confirmation of the the things I say to myself. I am so happy to be a subscriber! I opt out too.

@AleciaRenece 2 жыл бұрын

I'm so happy you enjoyed and that you're here! Much love and joy to you! 😊💛

@sheilakosoff5806 2 жыл бұрын

Great content! So important for these times. As a black teacher, I have found that I am no longer able to take on the traumas of my students as my mission. I am so tired and mentally exhausted. Because I think I have to help them find the American dream, and as you say it cost a lot more than you realize. I feel like as a teacher I’ve been trying to sell them the American dream. But the reality of their lives, andin the traumas they go through, that maybe they will get there and maybe they will not. I feel now I have to sell them on being OK with who they are and where they are.Also there’s nothing wrong with just being the best version of yourself whatever that means to you without comparing yourself to other people .As a teacher I was pushing for black excellence but sometimes I think it’s too much. What do you think? I got a lot of pushback for saying that and someone else’s comments that we just need to be psychologically OK with being mediocre. The striving for excellence usually means that we have to strive to be super human. And it seems to be the only way to achieve the American dream is to be superhuman Black people. Another trap is falling into the idea that you need to purchase certain items so that you get a seat at the table. I know for black women especially, we have to look a certain way to be taken as seen as professional. So that means we have to spend more money. I think that’s part of the issue I have with the whole luxury movement. I think it does not deal with the fact that we are struggling and that in order to achieve the American dream we have to spend a lot of money.

@macummings7818 2 жыл бұрын

@Sheila I was a secondary schl teacher for a moment - and completely get the evolution you describe of what to “sell” the kids on But perhaps our approach to excellence is the key - and I do think our individual makeup defines how aggressive and stressful our journeys are - but I am learning to approach excellence in my own capacity and manner - which I wanted to suggest to you as a possible approach I don’t think we humans can be healthy without big goals. Or think of them as standards. We need to work on avoiding that talented tenth toxicity and find a healthy approach, that’s the shift… ✊🌼

@awakeneddaughter3001 2 жыл бұрын

The American educational system is one of the initial institutions with the purpose of conditioning our babies. And unfortunately, most of the info is based on untruths.

@LiveLifeUntamed 2 жыл бұрын

I love your videos!! You’ve put into a words how I’d been feeling for a long time. I guess in a sense I opted out the American Dream when I said f it, quit my job and moved abroad. I didn’t have the words to explain why I was doing what I did, but I knew that I wasn’t going to ‘wait to get permission’ to live the life I wanted to live.

@AleciaRenece 2 жыл бұрын

Hiiiiiii! Yeeeeeeees! You are TRULY living the dream. I'm following your footsteps soon enough. And I'M SO HERE FOR YOU NOT ASKING FOR PERMISSION! I LOOOVE this! Keep living life untamed! You're inspiring so many of us! Much love and joy to you! 😊🌞🌺💛

@elkay18 2 жыл бұрын

I'm following your footsteps too. That's my dream.

@LiveLifeUntamed 2 жыл бұрын

@Our Your Diaspora I love living abroad despite its challenges. I’ve felt safe in all the countries I’ve lived and traveled to. Whenever I’m back in the US I feel on edge and slightly paranoid. 😅

@kokobean240 Жыл бұрын

Bravo!

@KAMROXX2K11 Жыл бұрын

Woah. These feelings and ideas have been inside of me for years. But I often chastised myself for not fitting in.

@ShakeleSeaton 2 жыл бұрын

Sis, thank you for showing up so authentically and beautifully. This “dream” is exhausting and was never mine. I’ve been trying to figure out how to share my creative gifts on KZfaq that encompasses all of who I am, and it gives me strength and peace to see you share your creative works with the world. Thank you for your words. Thank you for your love. Thank you for inspiring my heart and spirit.

@nuggettflavor 2 жыл бұрын

I hear you and I see you. I was told I quit at my career but I was tired with a broken spirit. I am so content with all of my accomplishments when I look back on my life. Thank you for keeping it real.

@SailorSlay 2 жыл бұрын

This video speaks to me. I forfeited so many many dreams just to be disappointed

@renabeliever3628 Жыл бұрын

O M G i really can relate !!! As a Millenial French black I am in the same situation. My goal right now is to take back my life before hitting 40 and have a kid ( I hope). Thanks for this video, I will rewatch it when I lost myself.

@LMae-rj9qi Жыл бұрын

Watching this video again! Girl you are helping this 61-year-old feel so good about having always been a loner for the most part. I’m ready to enjoy what I’ve accomplished even more. It’s time to breathe and let the other younger folk chase the dream of moving up in our profession. I got kicked out of the pipeline when it was my time to move up. Little did I know that God allowed that to happen so I can have the peace and happiness that I have today!!!

@Nessajess7 2 жыл бұрын

Alecia! Hey girl lol. Look, you said something I've always stated, on how it's always the "exxxtra ordinary" people who get celebrated/rewarded. It always bothered me especially when it came to school and scholarships. I never seen scholarships for the kids who although they tried as hard as they could but never got straight A's. Or students who were B or C students. Makes no sense to me 💁🏿‍♀️💁🏿‍♀️. Lawd I'm only 1 minute and 18 seconds in and I'm already mad 😹😹😹😹. Alright, let me get back to the video chyl 🥴😹😹. 🌻🐞☀️

@AleciaRenece 2 жыл бұрын

YEEEEEEEES! Thank you so much for sharing this!!! 😊🌺🌻💛

@mosoulwrites 2 жыл бұрын

I saw this video on my suggestion and I clicked immediately. I have been feeling this way for awhile . Thank you for this !

@miclov8835 2 жыл бұрын

Sis........smh....this is me giving you a standing ovation. The universe was speaking through you cuz you are right. The "American Dream" is just too hard to obtain. Even if I thought that I could get a sliver of that pie I would throw bows to get to it but it's just too difficult. I'm 48 and I just found out that there's a community of black women who call themselves expats who have moved abroad and are 1000x happier for it. Up until a few months ago, I couldn't see a future worth getting excited for. One daughter is 19 and the other is 15 so I can feel that "empty nester" cloud making its way over to my head. Being a black successful, happy woman in America is a dream. So my thought is that it has to be better just about everywhere else other than the united states. Yes, there are laws and systems that are "supposed" to work for everyone in this country but if you have a system that repeatedly turns a blind eye to those who are only interested in enforcing it to the benefit of certain people then it can't work for everyone. So now I have a goal, I'm putting a plan together to move abroad, to become a expat. Some place any place where I can live, like actually live. Some places where (yes they will see that I'm a black woman) but that's not the only thing that they see. Check out a KZfaq by the name of Stephanie Perry she speaks truth to power just like you. Thanks for sharing.

@notjustaprettyface Жыл бұрын

I definitely was suffering from depression and health issues when I worked at the hospital. I was a therapist on a psych unit, ironically, I'm the one who needed therapy. I used to go to work sick also and wouldn't call off because they penalize you for being sick essentially.

@prosperousk5477 2 жыл бұрын

I’m so glad I found your channel. Everything you’ve stated have been on my mind. I’ve been exhausted, and filled with anxiety. Your channel is a relief. Thank you ❤️

@AleciaRenece 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for sharing this! It's so helpful and encouraging!

@zoeyx9307 Жыл бұрын

As an educator I tell my students create in your own way. Like your finger print; you are one in 4 trillion. So unique. Your legacy is your unique wake understood and the knowledge spread. I agree as a cancer survivor. I am working on impact and creating systems of support before I retire.

@kyeskorner129 2 жыл бұрын

I'm 24 now and just quit my job with hopes I will find something better. I'm exhausted and so burned out right now I'm really contemplating moving to another country at this point. Apparently if you do not earn income inside the United States or do not live inside the United States your student loans may disappear after a period of time. I don't know how factual that is but right now I would rather be anywhere than here so broke and poor with a Master's degree. It's so sickening and disheartening but it's good to see others share my views because I feel crazy.

@MollySmile1776 2 жыл бұрын

Apply for the Income Driven Repayment plan with student loans. I pay $0 a month. Call your student loan provider and ask them about it

@everythingispolitics6526 2 жыл бұрын

First thing that jumped out at me is your beauty! You're so gorgeous! Also, a fellow fast talker like myself! I agree with everything thing you said...i sometimes get this sudden urge to drop everything and buy a small farm house, out in a remote area somewhere in the global south. I'm currently in London, UK and literally the pandemic has been a nightmare. Apart from the tragedy of losing so many lives to it, its really highly how broken our world is. People are increasingly more hostile and unwilling to interrogate their belief system/world they live in. Under cap*talism, life has no intrinsic value unless they're producing and competing with others... So many are battling depression, loneliness, anxiety etc. The systems governing our world is leaving many people sick. Making meaningful sustainable connections is increasingly becoming more arduous. There's sooo much beauty in the world yet the hearts of so many are deeply wounded. I am desperately trying to summon the strength to follow my passions but I'm currently exhausted. Thanks for the beautiful words.

@kaijaful 2 жыл бұрын

Ughhhh I was JUST thinking about ALLL of this!!! I'm so glad this was recommended to me! Same Same Same!!! We're playing catch up while they're still 20 laps ahead and going. It's a losing game, unless you realize early and play it YOUR way. Also, there's no participation trophy or extra points you receive for doing things the "right" way or abiding by the American dream. People have found success through doing what truly makes them happy, because Success is subjective. Live as you please and do all that makes your heart full. Keeping up with the Joneses, living barely above the poverty line or right on it, for the sake of optics is insane. I have a job that sounds good to others and looks good on paper, but it's not what it seems. And honestly girl, I'm tired. I just wanna go to my family's house down south and just breathe for a minute or two. I'm a city girl born and raised, but I need a break from all this "hustling". I want to watch the trains pass by, garden, cook, and just be....even if just for a minute.

@karenlebeau-montalvan3994 2 жыл бұрын

Very thoughtful presentation Alecia. I am a 66-year-old Black Woman. My 2 Daughters are probably the same age as you. I shared your video with them. There is a comment that young women today are suffering.... and I agree. I hustled, raised my two daughters by myself. I know the one thing that kept me going is that there was no INTERNET! Don't get me wrong, the internet is a good thing and it's a bad thing should you allow it to trap you. There are many regrets I have because of the hustle and trying to attain, but "My" hustle was real and I AM HERE. Ain't going anywhere anytime soon. Today, I am unapologetic! Life is this thing called "Life". In the end "do you" Alecia!

@theincrediblemahoganygoddess Жыл бұрын

Agree with you on all points, but when it comes to studying and careers WE should be informed about what the pay is, the conditions are and if we want that. That's on us to not get played by imagining what a job is like versus what it's really like. We put more effort in buying consumables by reading reviews and comparing prices, qualities and satisfaction. Yet I never did that for my studies and career choices. It's crazy!

@eappea9109 2 жыл бұрын

Prayer For Direction. Powerful Prayer To Start Your Day Revelation Moment TV

@schafferchenanigans 2 жыл бұрын

When I say “I feel seen!” New subbie here, I love when you say that we celebrate busyness OVER intention!! Wow what a message, THANK YOU

@AleciaRenece 2 жыл бұрын

Yeeeees! Thank you so much! Welcome!!! I'm so happy this resonated with you!!! 😊🌺🌻

@Erica-en2qz 2 жыл бұрын

As soon as you talked about feeling like you didn't have worth if you weren't extraordinary, I clicked the like button. I so understand that feeling.

@AleciaRenece 2 жыл бұрын

*BIG HUGS* 💛

@medrickbussie2489 Жыл бұрын

Bruh I can listen to her ALL DAY. I’m not a woman but I feel like the #1 fan of this channel. She the realest nigga on KZfaq right now are u kidding me love her voice to it’s beautiful and damn near healing

@divatravels9121 2 жыл бұрын

I hear you sis. This is raw truth and wisdom.💯 What I've learned my 3 decades on this earth is that a majority of "the culture" is toxic to the common Black man or woman. Now, I'm committed to finding my OWN definition of bliss, and not what some celebrity, or media is telling me who I should become. To young ladies, don't let it take you this long.💯

@TheCreativeone1 2 жыл бұрын

Definitely working on breaking out of consumerism. You're absolutely saying everything I've been thinking. Raised by a grandmother with a third grade education, life was a struggle. Returning back to college in my 30s and graduating with my associates 2007, bachelor's 2010 Summa cumlaude, and master's degree 2012 Summa cumlaude, I didn't show up to the graduation and didn't even go out to dinner to celebrate. I was looking for what was next; find a decent job. Now I've been in that job for eight years and I am not happy. Once again looking for another job and trying to determine whether or not I need to go back to school for a doctorate. Or do I pivot to a high earning career like software engineering. All this while living vicariously through vanlifer videos. The pursuit of Happiness can be stressful. We need to remind ourselves we are worthy regardless of socioeconomic status.

@LMae-rj9qi Жыл бұрын

You struck a nerve when you wrote "We need to remind ourselves we are worthy regardless of socioeconomic status."

@hildagertze8539 2 жыл бұрын

The sad thing is in other parts of the world this dream is sold to us. It's so great to wake up from it.

@teotik8071 2 жыл бұрын

Luckily social media exposes the 'american dream' and the reality to everyone who is willing to open his eyes.

@lynzannabel6990 2 жыл бұрын

@@teotik8071 Well said. 👍🏾❤😊💚

@MsEssance Жыл бұрын

GIRL this is D E E P but I'm here for it! OMG this is so refreshing! I find myself watching your videos and Stephanie's videos more and more each day, because I am 30 years old working towards my marketing degree, and establishing my marketing portfolio for these employers, but thinking at the same time that I have to come up with a game plan because I want to live with ease girl... I am not trying to sell my soul to these companies for the long haul, just get 1 year or 2 out of them to learn the ropes from corporate and apply it to my OWN business online as a digital marketer. Thank you so much for keeping it 1000! I appreciate you girl! God bless!

@donnatate6327 2 жыл бұрын

Sistah, I feel like you have been spying on my conversations! I never fell for the message of "The American Dream". I am 62 yrs old. Growing up I would go to work with my mother, who worked as a housekeeper and a portion of my mother's time was spent talking/counseling with the women that she worked for. I hung with my friends who had money and alot of them were miserable. I currently work in home care services and I can tell you that "The American Dream" is slavery for families of means too. Just think how miserable it would be to have and to do what you want only to find out that nothing can satisfy you. Atleast a struggling person could have moments of happiness with the false Dream of someday achieving "The American Dream. I understand why you targeted your message to black women but this message and your gift of communicating it needs to be shared with the world...all ages, races and genders! Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher,vanity of vanities; all is vanity. What profit hath a man of all his labour which he taketh under the sun. - Ecclesiastes Chapter1:2&3 (May I suggest that you all read the whole book of Ecclesiastes?) Peace

@chasefasten4120 2 жыл бұрын

I recently got hit over the head with this. I left a job that was asking me to compromise my principles during a personal health crisis only to take another job where I am barely surviving a hostile work environment based in race and gender. I realized that everyone knows I was hired at the bottom of the pay scale despite a decade of highly technical experience and it gives them permission to treat me accordingly.

@theotherari9990 2 жыл бұрын

Why are you speaking to my spirit like this!!!

@AleciaRenece 2 жыл бұрын

*BIG HUGS* 😊🌺💛🌻

@kiricalo Жыл бұрын

I am a business owner. I own two homes completely paid off. My husband is successful and wants to move to Ecuador and cash out. I am 52 and watched my sister die right in front of me two months ago. She was 53 and not sick. Died in five days with zero reason why. Watching you and seeing what happened to her has me thinking that my husband could be right. It’s scary not knowing what to do. I am so mixed up. I’m here in Ecuador and leaving back to the states in two days and more confused than ever.

@eloiseramsey9276 2 жыл бұрын

Chasing the America dream kept me from living my own dreams. Once i found myself, my control, my will, my voice my wants, than my dream, my peace, my freedom, my happiness, my joy, my love, my needs, my wants, my life.