Heroes of the 41st Millennium - Commissar Ciaphas Cain, HERO OF THE IMPERIUM

Рет қаралды 1,698,263

3 жыл бұрын

Script Writers:
Takahata101
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Alfabusa
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Soundtrack (including main theme) by:
OfficioAudiorum
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Art by:
Garrot
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RudeRubicante
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Gods-and-Kings
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Video Editor:
Alfabusa
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Takahata101 as Ciaphas Cain
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Karl the Deranged as Marneus Calgar
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Pr0bait as Jurgen
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xbubblemunkx as Guardsfan 1
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D. Tyler Fultz as Guardsfan 2
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Takahata and Alfabusa as random assorted guardsmen screaming and singing
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This video is completely unofficial and is in no way endorsed by Games Workshop Limited. Adeptus Astartes, Blood Angels, Bloodquest, Cadian, Catachan, the Chaos devices, Cityfight, the Chaos logo, Citadel, Citadel Device, Codex, Daemonhunters, Dark Angels, Dark Eldar, 'Eavy Metal, Eldar, Eldar symbol devices, Eye of Terror, Fire Warrior, Forge World, Games Workshop, Games Workshop logo, Genestealer, Golden Demon, Gorkamorka, Great Unclean One, Inquisitor, the Inquisitor logo, the Inquisitor device, Inquisitor:Conspiracies, Keeper of Secrets, Khorne, Kroot, Lord of Change, Necron, Nurgle, Ork, Ork skull devices, Sisters of Battle, Slaanesh, Space Hulk, Space Marine, Space Marine chapters, Space Marine chapter logos, Tau, the Tau caste designations, Tyranid, Tyrannid, Tzeentch, Ultramarines, Warhammer, Warhammer 40k Device, White Dwarf, the White Dwarf logo, and all associated marks, names, races, race insignia, characters, vehicles, locations, units, illustrations and images from the Warhammer 40,000 universe are either ®, TM and/or © Copyright Games Workshop Ltd 2000-2012, variably registered in the UK and other countries around the world. Used without permission. No challenge to their status intended. All Rights Reserved to their respective owners.

Пікірлер: 7 800

@alfabusa 3 жыл бұрын

THANKS to OfficioAudiorum for the disgustingly good music in this video. Please, I insist, go and check his stuff out and ABSORB the atmospheric 40k music into your BRAIN. kzfaq.info And, OF COURSE, big thanks to the boy himself, Takahata, who decided to actually spend time creating this script. I am happy to have been given the chance to release an essay touching on the destructive condition of acute imposter syndrome on youtube.com. You truly are Hero of the Imperium. ++ THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: No this is not EP29, it's still in the works, am working on the Magnus scenes right now ++

@garank4971 3 жыл бұрын

1st

@rogaldorn8394 3 жыл бұрын

Thanks for the video and the update

@ShinGetsu857 3 жыл бұрын

The simple fact you are working on our Red Chicken Boi scene makes me happy.

@YulePog 3 жыл бұрын

Look at that 7 times damned chin, you could summon Angron with that one skull alone.

@facelessidiot6407 3 жыл бұрын

This is beautiful!

@Demon_Decken Жыл бұрын

"god I am such a piece of shit!" -Cain while strangling a hive tyrant to death to save a baby

@the-other-guy8991 11 ай бұрын

"Because that's what a HERO OF THE IMPERIUM is supposed to do." -Cain, probably.

@PurpleH4z3 10 ай бұрын

@@the-other-guy8991"if i didnt jump inside the mouth of the hive tyrant with only a granade and a knive to save that baby, that baby would never grow to be a guardsmen and act as a meat shild for me" - cain doing mental gymnastics

@kuritmanok9174 10 ай бұрын

Cain facing off a hive tyrant to save the baby...and still somehow think its the cowardly thing to do. XD

@riven5677 10 ай бұрын

ok bear with me but did Cain actually did something like that

@the-other-guy8991 10 ай бұрын

@@riven5677 He did! Admittedly, he used a (edit: chain of exploding) Pyrovore to blow it up, and had a couple squads helping him take them down, but yes, he has killed a Hive Tyrant, even saved a squad and a young commisar doing so! -The Last Ditch

@EmberBright2077 Жыл бұрын

Commissar Cain even made up a monologue about being a fraud to help that Space Marine open up to others about his troubles. Truly, a hero of the Imperium.

@jesusojeda7850 8 ай бұрын

That's not a "space marine"- that's Marneus Calgar, the chapter master of the ultramarines, among other titles. He's to the average space marine what a space marine is to the average human.

@tobster9567 8 ай бұрын

@@jesusojeda7850 exgerating a little bit

@sithisarcanis 8 ай бұрын

@@jesusojeda7850 Before the Calgar comic book ruined him.

@berilsevvalbekret772 7 ай бұрын

@@sithisarcaniswhy? I didn't read the comic?

@sithisarcanis 7 ай бұрын

@@berilsevvalbekret772 calgar got killed and some dweeb initiate took his identity.

@maniacmagge2568 Жыл бұрын

The fact that this man *died of old age* in the 40k universe

@ngominh259 Жыл бұрын

Boosted by the fact that he was given rejuvenat treatment. He's approximately 225+ when he finally died, full military honor and such. Despite that he's still listed as "active" forever since then because he came back from apparent death so many times it constantly fraks up the Militarum's paperwork.

@utubrGaming Жыл бұрын

@@ngominh259 Living Saint Cain. Because the Emperor helps those who helps themselves.

@BraimosAI Жыл бұрын

Fear the old in a profession where men die young

@samb123078 Жыл бұрын

Did he really die though? I mean he’s “died” and come back so many times.

@jamesknighton4489 Жыл бұрын

Wrong guy

@wursthaendler2825 Жыл бұрын

This man died of Old Age in 40K, survived battle against literally every enemy faction, won a 1v1 against a traitor space marine and perhaps most impressively got laid with an inquisitor. Truly a legend.

@kriegertechpriest7011 Жыл бұрын

And a techpreistess

@josephcometa1992 Жыл бұрын

And survived bedding a slanneshi cult leader who became a daemon prince and she still say's he's her best sex partner ever.

@thewolfoflight5780 Жыл бұрын

@@kriegertechpriest7011wait what

@kriegertechpriest7011 Жыл бұрын

@@thewolfoflight5780 Yeah he banged a techpristess apparently

@Nempo13 11 ай бұрын

His relationship with Amberly lasted over a hundred years. It is canon they boned like rabbits whenever they were stationed near one another. She is also the one who kept getting him authorized for rejuvenation treatments. Though she isn't authorized or high enough to get her hands on the REALLY good ones for others, even her own aren't the best. Those two legit cared for one another, but weren't allowed to show true care or they would have been separated permanently.

@guardianofthetoasters2323 3 жыл бұрын

Calgar: mood kindred? *ULTRA DEPRESSION CURED*

@DeinosCZ 3 жыл бұрын

Damn that made me almost cry for Calgar he has finally found someone to talk to.

@alduin4226 3 жыл бұрын

Lol

@guardianofthetoasters2323 3 жыл бұрын

@@DeinosCZ they are both suffering from success

@TheKlink 3 жыл бұрын

@@guardianofthetoasters2323 a truly terrible affliction.

@telenNG 3 жыл бұрын

Never a truer statement has been said XD

@GuukanKitsune 3 жыл бұрын

The Cycle of Cain's Life: -is assigned to a dangerous front -triumphs over enemy while only trying to save his own ass. -can never tell anyone all his 'heroics' were actually selfserving attempts to save his own skin or he'll be executed for cowardice, so accepts mantle of hero reputation. -uses success accolade to quietly reassign himself to a world/assignment that seems safe and he can reasonably expect to while away the rest of his lifetime of service drinking amasec and playing regicide. -formerly safe world/easy assignment unexpectedly becomes dangerous front, and due to his reputation, everybody turns to him. -repeat cycle. This cycle continued EVEN AFTER HE RETIRED.

@iglidor 3 жыл бұрын

But you must give it to him, that when everyone turns to him for help, he ussualy has pretty good idea what to do and how to save things (mostly because by that he is also saving his own hide)

@bairdrew 3 жыл бұрын

TBF it probably continued after he died and was buried w/ full military honours, and just by having his name on the roster whole worlds were saved.

@qwefg3 3 жыл бұрын

He has been listed dead 3 times already. Now they just lost him as Missing In Action because they do not know when he will appear when everything looks from before surviving what is trying to kill him... Which ends up killing the problem for everyone else.

@harbingerofcrazy5189 3 жыл бұрын

i can picture it clearly, in his testament he wants his mortal remains buried on a nice peacefull world, and to honor this heros last wish the administratum actually tries, but every time they burry him the dig up a necron tomb or something.

@TowaruTsura 3 жыл бұрын

@@bairdrew It did. The Administratum actually kept his account open EVEN AFTER HIS CONFIRMED DEATH just in case. It's still gathering money.

@coldfusion1679 9 ай бұрын

“Man, guess I better fight this ork warboss in melee combat and kill him so no one sees through my totally undeserved reputation of heroism” - Ciaphas Cain, Death or Glory

@fuchsmichael93 3 ай бұрын

Oh Sht, theres a Space Marine of the Worldeaters charging at me but there are Soldiers of another Regiment watching. I better defeat him just with my Sword or they think i lied. Traitors Hand

@superjj1850 3 ай бұрын

Fueled by faith and social anxiety!

@richardconstante6486 2 ай бұрын

@@fuchsmichael93of fvck, the patriarch of a genestelar cult is trying to kill me, but this Hot blonde is looking at me I must kill it so she Will belive im a hero and then I can bed her (turns out she was an inquisitor)

@gatordragon6140 Ай бұрын

This is why i love cain, its literally just imposter syndrome because he of all people in the imperium deserves the title of hero along with malcador

@hugovandyk9918 Ай бұрын

@@gatordragon6140 Do words make a hero or deeds?

@bmpixy 9 ай бұрын

Calgar being the one to witness Cain's breakdown is just another stroke of the man's incredible luck in surviving impossible situations. Of all the possible space marines to witness his self-deprecation and incredible imposter syndrome, it was the one who knew exactly what he was going through.

@thebighurt2495 6 ай бұрын

I hadn't even thought about that

@createdman9889 4 ай бұрын

Very on brand 🤣🤣

@gatordragon6140 Ай бұрын

What ever do you mean? He clearly put on that display to make sure calgar felt at home and to comfort him

@kentonbaird1723 4 күн бұрын

The man SIMPLY cannot lose!

@krzysztofbartczak3834 3 жыл бұрын

Bruva Alfabusa when depicting other 40K characters: grossly exaggerate them for comedic effect. Bruva Alfabusa when depicting Cain: 100% canon compliant.

@chaoticsky106 3 жыл бұрын

I mean, not really? Cain is pretty self-interested, he doesnt really have the kind of crushing self hatred shown here.

@GAnonymusG 3 жыл бұрын

@@chaoticsky106 He actually does have a good amount in every line in every book.he pretty much never breaks down though. Him always smiling or making a frown is as bad as the books would show it even as he was under effect of necron pariahs.

@TheFeyd 3 жыл бұрын

@@chaoticsky106 he doesn't have self hatred. But he is totally terrified that someone might find out he is actually a coward.

@sessy01 3 жыл бұрын

@@TheFeyd And for all that, he is much more calculating than just some blubbering crybaby breaking down in his office. He knows how to manipulate morale in his officers, he's an insanely good chainsword duelist that he'll take down a chaos marine of khorne while shouting " HARRIERS FOR THE CUP!" single-handedly, can navigate damn near any tunnel system underground from his upbringing in a hive world, and said "no way, fag" to a slaaneshi cultist turned demon after she came back from the dead and plagued him with nightmares.

@320466 3 жыл бұрын

true that, hear hear takes a swig of amasec

@ulric8445 3 жыл бұрын

“Invisible Orks” Thus supporting the fact of never seeing a purple ork before

@internetzenmaster8952 3 жыл бұрын

Alright, who let the Blood Axes have access to purple paint pots again?!

@silvertrimhill9844 3 жыл бұрын

Internet Zen Master BAD MOONZ: DEM BLOD AXE’Z GOTZ LODZ A TEEF

@masterblasterT47 3 жыл бұрын

The actual reason why no one has ever seen a purple ork is because they always gets eaten by the tri horned seven winged flying purple ork eaters before anyone can lay an eye on them.

@jalpat2272 3 жыл бұрын

@Hoàng Nguyên but where they got Ultraviolet pigments so violet it invisible ,must be lost stc

@TheOriginalRaxin 3 жыл бұрын

Based on the fate of the celestial lions I would say such orcs wear black. And use sniper rifles. And rhyme with mindicare bassassins.

@christopherg2347 Жыл бұрын

Eavesdropping Guardsmen: "Did you hear that?" "Oh, ABSOLUTELY. We need to tell everyone..." "...that Cain called a Chaptermaster POS and got declared his kindred for that honesty!"

@darthmeta6445 7 ай бұрын

XD That would totally fall into Cain's range of luck.

@CidVeldoril 6 ай бұрын

Not just any Chaptermaster. Papa Smurf himself, leader of Big Blue's chapter and realm.

@ollikoskinen1 6 ай бұрын

"Ciaphas Cain has the pair of Mars Pattern Adamantium Balls Mk. 2s!"

@avroarchitect1793 5 ай бұрын

@@darthmeta6445 And no one would do anything because, if a chaptermaster wouldn't deal with it personally to his face, who has the right to do anything about it?

@jarrettadams4102 Жыл бұрын

I love the bit in one of the books where Cain and his men are making an almost certain last stand, and Cain ponders how his men can fight so well knowing they're almost certain to die. Any sane soldiers would break ranks and run for it, or curl into a ball and cry. Yet they fight on as fearlessly as if victory was a sure thing. He never even considered that they were fighting that hard because HE WAS THERE WITH THEM

@Nempo13 11 ай бұрын

Cain has had several of those last stand fights...Amberly comments on one of them that he doesn't understand just how much his troops believe in him.

@Jebu911 10 ай бұрын

Well his humble attitude helps him not to be corrupted by chaos If he thought he was the hottest shit after emperor slaneh might corrupt him

@craxnor 10 ай бұрын

"It's ok! We can win this! As long as Commissar Cain is here! Hope is not lost. For The God-Emperor!"

@thebighurt2495 10 ай бұрын

@@Nempo13 She even comments one time on how absolutely devastated Valhallans everywhere would be if word got out Cain was KIA

@danniluxgarbe429 9 ай бұрын

@@Nempo13 What's even better is when he makes a SECOND "last stand" on the same planet, in the same valley, 100 years later.

@gryphonofmight 3 жыл бұрын

A reminder, The Emperor is aware of Cain and thinks he is a sensible individual and likes him

@n3nt2nd464 3 жыл бұрын

I would totally would love to see a vox podcast were they invite him over its were cain tells the truth

@justindupras9996 3 жыл бұрын

@@n3nt2nd464 A round table of Commissars.... The emperor summons members of the Commissariat to get a better idea of the morality and tactics of the Imperial Guard and a run down on what happened to the Imperial Army. Yarrick, Holt, Cain, Gaunt, and Fucklaw in a room arguing about the best way to "Inspire" the troops! @bruvaalfabusa I NEED this!

@TheWarmachine375 3 жыл бұрын

What about Kubrick Chenkov?

@jr12471247 3 жыл бұрын

Cain: I'm just as surprised that worked as the rest of you, stop worshiping me! Emperor: Same.

@dp101 3 жыл бұрын

Source? Or just a joke?

@phamthienphuc3951 3 жыл бұрын

regular virgin Commissar: _shot his owned soldier to raise troop morale_ Commissar Ciaphas the Chad: _Shot himself, missed and hit the enemy general instead, raise troop morale_

@cheebmcweeb3241 3 жыл бұрын

He did try to shoot him self when the Eldar slaver was trying to take him back to comorrah and when she tried to save him she was killed by tyranids.

@adamsteele23 3 жыл бұрын

I can see it happening.

@phamthienphuc3951 3 жыл бұрын

@@cheebmcweeb3241 you confuse me at the "Dark Eldar save someone" part @ _@

@Warhamer116 3 жыл бұрын

@@phamthienphuc3951 can't bring the hero of imperium into comorrah to be tortured for fame and prestige if said hero of the imperium gets eaten by tyranids

@cheebmcweeb3241 3 жыл бұрын

Exactly, he also flooded the webway with tyranids as a happy side accident.

@erichrandomstranger1243 11 ай бұрын

The man slept with an Inquisitor, a techpriest who didn't want to get rid of their more intimate parts, the heiress to a planet, and a Slanneshi cultist that got turned into a Daemon prince later. He has a very nice record indeed.

@salmonroe5608 7 ай бұрын

That last one seems a bit heretical.

@Resi1ience 6 ай бұрын

@@salmonroe5608 Who cares? This man's luck alone could save humanity.

@salmonroe5608 6 ай бұрын

@@Resi1ience Sure, but i'm not certain that it was a good idea.

@salmonroe5608 6 ай бұрын

@@ArenVrem Ok that helps xD

@utubrGaming 5 ай бұрын

And a police officer, a Navy Officer, a PDF Sergeant, and a lady Commissar from Catachan.

@Hensynslose Жыл бұрын

My only issue with this video is the fact that Jurgen would absolutely make an astartes chapter commander wait outside the office in the blank stank until Cain was ready for him.

@jarrettadams4102 Жыл бұрын

You deserve more credit for Blank Stank

@alannatherson7721 11 ай бұрын

Jurgen saw right through Calgar and decided to hook up his buddy with his mood kindred.

@amatsu9826 9 ай бұрын

You are fething a god for this comment!

@midgetydeath 9 ай бұрын

And only an Astartes would appreciate Jurgen's devotion to obeying his orders.

@Knalxz 8 ай бұрын

I took this as Juergen already letting Calgar into the room before hand but he heard Cain having a panic attack so he burst in to be like “Yo, my dude, he’s right there!”

@BaronVonMott 3 жыл бұрын

Ciaphas Cain: the walking personification of "Task Failed Successfully"

@tannermatthews519 3 жыл бұрын

Him and Tanya would get along swimmingly

@weldonwin 3 жыл бұрын

I prefer to think of him as the Living Saint of Luck and Charm

@absolutelyyousless7605 3 жыл бұрын

Blessed by the Emperor with the power of infinite respawns (even if Cain himself doesn’t know it)

@CBRN-115 3 жыл бұрын

@@weldonwin I swear, he stole the entire Imperium's luck for himself

@Raum2901 3 жыл бұрын

@@tannermatthews519 Who? Tanya from shoujo senki or Tanya from command and conquer red alert?

@TDM137PL 3 жыл бұрын

When the disclaimer says it's a parody, but turns out to be an accurate depiction

@VioletDeathRei 3 жыл бұрын

Truly the Hero that we deserved, not the Hero that we wanted.

@MitchellTF 3 жыл бұрын

Sandy Mitchell: *Looks at his 'invisible Ork' manuscript* *Cursing in British*

@rdubayoo 3 жыл бұрын

GW: B-but Marneus Calgar is a real hero, guys...

@AdmiralStormy Жыл бұрын

Remember, one of the reasons Cain is still alive is because his imposter syndrome won't let him get cocky

@flexprime2010 8 ай бұрын

on it, it remembers me of Rincewind

@RandomVideoCommenterOME 3 жыл бұрын

The way Cain just instantly accepts that Calgar is also a 9th tier bullshitter and breaks down in his arms is so perfect, I really wanna see this dynamic more in future,

@503WE Жыл бұрын

No lo sabia 🫠

@1FrogCommander Жыл бұрын

And thus Cain earned not only the respect of the ultramarines but the entire ultima segmentum by proxy

@paragon1150 11 ай бұрын

Whose gonna tell em

@fulcrum2951 9 ай бұрын

Cough*

@littleaqua32 8 ай бұрын

They are mood kindreds, after all. 😊

@barthvader95 3 жыл бұрын

I like the little touch of Cain being worried that his failures will actually _hurt other people._ The poor bastard.

@the.nerd.knight2078 3 жыл бұрын

only commisar that thinks that way

@CBRN-115 3 жыл бұрын

Godamn, what a noble soul. He needs a medal for that too

@VioletDeathRei 3 жыл бұрын

@@the.nerd.knight2078 Well I mean Ibram Gaunt also cares.... if it's specifically his men.... at least his men who aren't complete ***** hats anyway.

@tenacityxl 3 жыл бұрын

jackson kye Granted, Ciaphas Cain has a lot more men than Gaunt and his Ghosts.

@Warptenlololol 3 жыл бұрын

@@the.nerd.knight2078 Laugh in Gaunt.

@sub1optimal325 3 жыл бұрын

Ciaphas Cain the personification of “holy shit did I do that”

@Zerpderp0 3 жыл бұрын

Calphais Cain is the personification of, "why yes, I did just roll all of those 6's against an Ork Warboss" (Honestly wished I knew more about Warhammer gameplay)

@buttahXD 3 жыл бұрын

@@Zerpderp0 you're actually fairly close on, lmao

@Zerpderp0 3 жыл бұрын

@@buttahXD yay!

@kaaaaaaamiiiiiiiiiil 3 жыл бұрын

He's the blackadder of 40k

@mannofdober873 3 жыл бұрын

@@Zerpderp0 Why yes, I expertly rebounded that dice off that building, knocking your pathetic Warboss over, not only breaking the actual model, but scoring that full D6 damage roll, instantly killing said now-broken Warboss. Actually the dice just slipped but whate-

@KillTeamHungary 3 жыл бұрын

Tzeench: okay watch this shit - Im going to take all the luck of these Lamenters and give it to this Ciphas dude! This is gonna be fcking hilarious!,

@bthsr7113 3 жыл бұрын

... Sounds about right.

@Jampolo_OG 3 жыл бұрын

Now I want to see Cain teaming up with the Lamenters during one mission except he doesn't know what chapter they're from and treats them like he would a regular Space Marine And then he learns those were the Lamenters and goes "whaaat? no way, I was told they were cursed"

@surimonizarro9791 3 жыл бұрын

@@Jampolo_OG this needs to happen now so they can have a win!

@lazarus9165 3 жыл бұрын

@@Jampolo_OG I imagine the lamenters freaking at their sudden change in luck. Basically looking around like "wtf our luck is never this good, oh sanguinius when's the other shoe gonna drop?" and Cain is just like "they're awfully jumpy for asartes aren't they."

@BrenTenkage 3 жыл бұрын

to be honest knowing the demonic god he totally would do that...hell he might be in agreement with the Emperor to do that just to see what happens LOL

@wyattspitz615 9 ай бұрын

My personal belief is that Cain is actually an ongoing battle between Tzeench and the Laughing God with the Tzeench constantly trying to kill him in even grander ways and the other just constantly Uno reversing it at the last second.

@thebighurt2495 6 ай бұрын

and Emps just letting it happen cause Cain keeps getting him wins. I love the idea of Cegorach actually doing something useful.

@helmutstein1178 5 ай бұрын

@thebighurt2495 let's be real, he also thinks it's funny

@hpph7133 5 ай бұрын

Draw four, ya jabbering mollusk

@crimsondynamo615 4 ай бұрын

@@helmutstein1178”oh look he’s crying again, it’s even funnier the 47th time!”

@CaptainFirespitter Ай бұрын

I wouldn’t even be surprised if emps is secretly paying the jester in Eldar souls to keep Cain alive and mess with Tzeentch, although I suspect he’s doing the latter for free!!! 😂

@Willqer 3 жыл бұрын

The joke of this episode is, there is no joke. That's literally how Cain and others around him behave. Humblest hero=coward=brave man of the Imperium.

@TheWarmachine375 3 жыл бұрын

He also has common sense too that Big E approves

@iglidor 3 жыл бұрын

So tough and acomplished that even when they have his dead body in front of their eyes and are buring him, they still keep him on active roster on the off chance that he may still somehow pop up somewhere alive.

@azariyelvarro6271 3 жыл бұрын

@@iglidor Considering that resurrection happens occasionally in 40k, I could see him rising from the grave at some point.

@Ardelanin 3 жыл бұрын

@@iglidor mostly because the administratum, in their infinite beaurocracy, had had to go 'oh. so he's actually not dead. well. that's 4 years of records down the drain again' that they instituted an active policy of just keeping him on the books regardless of whatever other news they received.'

@jalpat2272 3 жыл бұрын

@@azariyelvarro6271 i could only hope his partner would be cute jurgen descendant.

@SiniusAZM 3 жыл бұрын

I love how he inflates like All Might to keep up appearances.

@TheWarmachine375 3 жыл бұрын

Makes sense he found Mood Kindred with an Ultramarine Chapter Master. PLUS ULTRA!

@superanimeniac 3 жыл бұрын

You're now aware that Takahata101 is voicing All Might in the something Witty entertainment version of My Hero Academia Abridged. kzfaq.info/get/bejne/d7B4ibx9sLvWhKs.html

@juliangardisky7236 3 жыл бұрын

@@superanimeniac PFFFFFFBAHHHAAHAHA. *FHUCKING AMAZING.*

@harrymorris2361 3 жыл бұрын

PLUS ULTRAMARINES!

@SiniusAZM 3 жыл бұрын

@@superanimeniac I now wonder if this is a direct reference.

@korben600 2 жыл бұрын

…I just realized. Cain’s complaining that things that should kill him/out him turn out to be to his advantage, due to some freak act of luck. …the commander of the ultramarines, one of the only people in the galaxy with the authority and competency to execute a commissar of his caliber on a whim, found out he’s a piece of shit and a coward…and then reveals himself to be a kindred spirit who’s also a piece of shit, who embraces him like a brother in arms. Cain thinks his luck finally run out, when ironically this is EXACTLY the kind of situation that would’ve killed a lesser Commissar. He didn’t run out of luck, he rolled his greatest nat 20 in the entire fucking Imperium by finding a true friend.

@General_Fuck_Yeah_AnimeTitties 2 жыл бұрын

The funniest part is that Cain is probably one of the nicest characters in the warhammer universe, attempting to execute soldiers much much less than his peers, which led his regiments to have extremely high morale without sacrificing combat effectiveness. Cain is a really cool character

@VegetaLF7 2 жыл бұрын

I love his reasoning for doing so too. By showing kindness and respect to his regiments, the Guardsmen will in turn do anything and everything they can to protect him and keep him from any sort of harm since if Cain is killed, they'll get another commissar who is likely to be far more traditional and liberal with the summary executions. By pretending to care about the soldiers under him, Cain is able to put as many willing bodies between his skin and the enemy as possible and make the Guard think it was all their idea in the first place.

@Crowgale Жыл бұрын

Cain is the textbook example of a good leader in wartime. The guardsmen have already be disiplined and conditioned for war, the trick to keeping them fighting is to reward them for good service and failing that, simply for surviving against terrible odds. Yes, it does consequently make them want to protect Cain so that the regiment as a whole doesn't get a commisar that is a real piece of shit- but at the same time it's fairly obvious that Cain gives a fuck about those that fight with him.

@kreigguardsman3355 11 ай бұрын

In the first book he understood that having the troops killed would shatter the already fragile trust the newly formed regiment had.

@thebighurt2495 10 ай бұрын

To my knowledge, he's only ever BLAMed two people and they were Genestealered. He was doing them a favor and no one held it against him.

@linkmaxwell 7 ай бұрын

@@VegetaLF7 The really fun part of the Cain novels is when you realize that he actually does give a shit about the women and men around him. Amberly remarks that there's plenty of times where he takes on more personal risks just to save the lives of the soldiers around him without even thinking about the "maintaining the myth" reasoning that he tells himself is the only reason he does anything dangerous.

@AzraelSoulHunter 3 жыл бұрын

Brave are not the ones that "Know no Fear". Brave are the ones that stand and fight against their fears and that's something Cain always did. He may not believe it himself, but he is true hero of the Imperium.

@user-nk8ft3nn8z 3 жыл бұрын

Agreed - I’m not too into the lore, but I do know enough to be aware that the galaxy really needs people with at least half the metaphorical spine he does.

@hellatze 3 жыл бұрын

Real bravery when he feel his first fear

@Aljhaqu 3 жыл бұрын

@MrNahual2099 The world broke before the dog did...

@loremipsumdolor1288 3 жыл бұрын

That pink dog, is pretty brave for a coward, sure he screams all the time but who the heck wouldn't?

@joshmatzner9332 3 жыл бұрын

He knows that if he ends this horrible charade, thousands upon thousands of innocent imperial citizens will lose hope, further giving onto despair. So he has to uphold a lie, a blatant fraudulent piece of utter shit visiage that couldn't be further from the truth all so these people can have some scraps of hope, some tiny shreds of the idea that everything's gonna be okay. And that's what makes him a real hero.

@merrittanimation7721 3 жыл бұрын

Cain should really be impressed with himself. He survived getting hugged by a Space Marine for crying out loud.

@intoxicatedbeard9635 3 жыл бұрын

Merritt Animation And the fact that he’s wearing terminator armor is even more so!

@ThatGuyUpThere 3 жыл бұрын

Meh, I will be impresed when goes through Vulkan's overfriendly hug with his bones intact.

@guyfieri148 3 жыл бұрын

@@ThatGuyUpThere in all fairness with his luck a fault in vulkans *master crafted* armour would suddenly burst and break vulkans bones, reversing the bone break, leaving cain unharmed

@ThatGuyUpThere 3 жыл бұрын

@@guyfieri148 To make it worse its plausible, He is so lucky he not only stumbled upon the probably single actual sexy tech priestress in the galaxy, but said tech priestress prefered good ol flesh to satisfy her desires instead of the regular power dildo.

@guyfieri148 3 жыл бұрын

@@ThatGuyUpThere so he managed to bang the only sexy tech priestess?

@MrArmystrong85 2 жыл бұрын

TTS Characters: exaggerated caricatures Ciaphas Cain: Literally just Ciaphas Cain

@akumaking1 2 жыл бұрын

Pretty much

@AnIdiotsLantern 2 жыл бұрын

For those wondering why Calgar and Caine are mood kindred - “Calgar”isn’t his real name. It’s the name of a dead rich kid he stole the identity of. He pulled a Don Draper, and it’s the only reason he was able to become a marine. He’s a literal fraud, but his heroism is real.

@Metaphysicist 2 жыл бұрын

This video was weirdly fortuitous.

@Nosnoug 2 жыл бұрын

I actually didn't know that. Thanks!

@AnIdiotsLantern 2 жыл бұрын

@@Nosnoug in case you want more detail - the real Marnius Calgar was the handsome, blond, overachieving young heir of an important Ultramar noble family. He was being tutored to stand for the Astartes trials when he was killed by cultists. So his personal bond slave, who was the same age and also blond haired, took his name, and stood for the trials in his place. And that’s the very short version of how “Marnius Calgar” joined the Adeptus Astartes.

@Nosnoug 2 жыл бұрын

@@AnIdiotsLantern That's genuinely interesting to know. Thank you!

@katelldrouet5977 2 жыл бұрын

@@AnIdiotsLantern Wait, is that really canon? 0.o Where do you find this information???

@emreerdem5165 3 жыл бұрын

And let's not forget how he bravely screamed like a little girl while running to make himself seem like an easy target and bring more attention on himself. Truly heroic.

@kp6378 3 жыл бұрын

Indeed! It was his wild screaming that distracted the Carnifex from assaulting the Orphanarium. He then cleverly fell back behind a ruined manufactorum, baiting the Carnifex to charge through. The manufactorum collapsed, crushing the Carnifex and it's warriors, and saving all the orphans. Hooray Ciaphas Cain!

@Matihood1 3 жыл бұрын

@@kp6378 The entire manufactorum??? That's a lot of collateral damage...

@nightflash4782 3 жыл бұрын

@@Matihood1 Its fine i heard that the collapsing manufactorum not only took out the carnifex and its warriors but also a hidden cult that were hiding in its basement! Truly Ciaphas Cain is a hero!

@Asayano 3 жыл бұрын

@@nightflash4782 That cult was found out to be holding out on an STC fragment that could give the Guards an edge in the battlefield though! It was a canteen that kept all rations fresh, warm, and keep that manofactorum chemical preservative smell! Give a cheer to Ciaphas Cain, Hero of the Imperium!

@andressotil4671 3 жыл бұрын

@@Asayano CI CI CIAPHUS CAIN!!! HERO OF THE IMPERIUM!!!!

@GrenzRell 3 жыл бұрын

Commissar Cain has the chin of *TEN MEN*

@blob7963 3 жыл бұрын

Don't you dare insult Ciaphus Cain like that it's a chin of *ONE HUNDRED MEN*

@tcrabbe1583 3 жыл бұрын

Or 1/2 Tor Garadon

@danieljackson4577 3 жыл бұрын

And the testicles of twenty!

@MizantropMan 3 жыл бұрын

And sheer luck of a billion. Hell, I am pretty sure 40k is so grim and gritty mostly because all the good things and luck that were supposed to be administered to every living human were, by some freakish joke of the universe, linked to Cain and Cain only.

@thehalsteds 3 жыл бұрын

And 28 ads!!!!

@romanoctavius1477 Жыл бұрын

He also technically beat a Dark Eldar Succubus is a Duel without any outside help. A little history on that, said Succubus specifically hunted down Cain with the express purpose of bringing him back Commorragh to torture/rape/kill because his reputation was so vast and well known amongst the Dark Eldar, that anyone who succeeded in killing him, and providing the proof, would get mad kudos from the rest of the Dark Eldar society. How he won was pretty cool too. He knew that eventually the Dark Eldar's stamina and combat drugs would wear him down, so he said "fuck it, I don't wanna get captured and tortured to death by the Dark Eldar" and went to blow his brains out with his laspistol, only for the Succubus to let her guard down and try to stop him, cause she wanted to bring him back home for the torture, and he bisected her with his chainsword.

@PurpleH4z3 10 ай бұрын

Was that the one where the dark eldars jumped cain while he was eunning from some tyranids? And the tyranids endup killing like almost all of the dark eldar squad while the dark eldar kill all the tyranids and save cain from them in the process? And while both forces fight cain is parring atcks from both fronts?

@midgetydeath 9 ай бұрын

It is so very fitting that she believed his desire to die rather than be captured was greater than his desire to live if he could. That's how basically any other Imperial would think and would pull the trigger instead of using the opening.

@lapantony 25 күн бұрын

Could you say which book was that ?

@jgmaurer31 2 жыл бұрын

A continuation of Cain's luck. Admitting inadvertently EVERYTHING to the ONE MAN who would understand him.

@JamesTobiasStewart 3 жыл бұрын

This is a surpringly accurate account of how deep Cain's Imposter Syndrome actually is. I mean if you read the books you'll see he actually does a lot to save his troops (including going out of his way to save them when letting them die would be easier and safer) and has done LEGITIMATELY brave things. But he never sees it that way. Because it started as an act and because he's still scared, he feels the whole damn thing is a sham even after everything he's done.

@kalin210 3 жыл бұрын

Nothing a Inquisitorial GF can't fix. That or a LOT of amasec.

@edmundthespiffing2920 3 жыл бұрын

What are the books names ?

@cp1cupcake 3 жыл бұрын

@jamestobiasstewart Well either that or he is one of the guys with the lowest self esteem possible.

@JamesTobiasStewart 3 жыл бұрын

@@edmundthespiffing2920 Well they're often in omnibus editions these days and the first is appropriately called 'Ciaphas Cian, Hero Of The Imperium'.

@kalin210 3 жыл бұрын

@@edmundthespiffing2920 The Cain series of books. The first one has an audiodrama version and is quite good. The rest are easy enough to find. Two short stories have also been audiodrama(ed). en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ciaphas_Cain

@aaronbosen6743 3 жыл бұрын

The worst part about Ciaphis Cain? He's a genuine hero, and *that's* what makes his life a sad joke. That he alone of all people can't see himself for what he truly is. Maybe in the beginning he might've been a coward. But he faced the enemy, head on, and fought surviving as much by his own skill and determination as by his luck and Jurgen's unrepentant hypercompetence. In the end, he hates himself for nothing more then being a human who remembers when he was terrified, but still standing up and marching forward into danger.

@HubiKoshi 3 жыл бұрын

Seriously if the Imperium had more "cowards" like Cain the enemies of the Imperium wouldn't just be on the defensive. They'd be facing extinction.

@anotherzingbo 3 жыл бұрын

True. He thinks he's been pretending to be a hero for his whole life but he doesn't realise that it stopped being an act long ago.

@roguevector1268 3 жыл бұрын

And I think that's what Amberley saw in him.

@DemonicEngineer 3 жыл бұрын

Underserved praise be damned. If his luck gives results like THAT it doesn't matter if it's intentional or not.

@robdeskrd 3 жыл бұрын

"Unrepentant hypercompetence" is worth points as an accusitory compliment- Oh, recording angels, take note & append 17,519 "silver-tongued devil" points to the resume of Aaron Bosen........ you can spend them on cool prizes in the afterlife 😁

@Qardo 2 жыл бұрын

Even in death. Cain is still written as "Active". And yes he is dead. He died of old age. Full military honors. Yet Cain has "died" so many times and turns out he have lived. The Imperium given up writing him "Killed in Action".

@utubrGaming 2 жыл бұрын

Between the fact that he is literally unable to die according to the munitorium, the Imperium's mass propaganda of him making him known to almost every Guardsman and cadet in the Commissariat and the Tallarn sect, I've a suspicion that Commissar Cain is actually a Living Saint at this point.

@vincentmuyo 2 жыл бұрын

You wouldn't *believe* the amount of paperwork they'd need to process if they declare Cain dead and he turns up alive *again*. So he's missing in action.

@firetarrasque4667 2 жыл бұрын

His corpse will be mummified and carried around like Lord Kroak. It is the only way to assure *VICTORY.*

@Some_Really_Random_Dude. 2 жыл бұрын

This is probably behind some of the highest seals the inquisition can muster. But the imperium keeps clones of its greatest heroes and generals. It could very well be that Caine has actually died every single time he has been listed as such. However to keep morale up, a new Caine was plopped from the cloning vats and into his boots.

@Koppu1doragon 2 жыл бұрын

I love that, one of the greatest generals of all time was allowed to die of old age even though the imperium is able to extend one's life for a seemingly unlimited amount of time.

@PickleJello 3 жыл бұрын

Ciaphas Cain has reappeared after he was thought to be dead so many times that he's officially still alive in Imperium records, even though he had a full-on military funeral in which the body was present.

@amadeusnagamine7701 2 жыл бұрын

He will rise back from the dead after god knows what shenanigans he pulls off in the Imaterium

@vincentmuyo 2 жыл бұрын

I swear Amberley must have faked his death.

@yuae5078 Жыл бұрын

The thing is we didn't even know if it was HIM, there's no confirmation recorded from reliable soruces or any other For all we know he might've faked his death and Amberley picked him up and they're enjoying retirement together 😂

@elonwhatever Жыл бұрын

I mean, he may become an apparition/angel whatever. Warpfuckery being what it is

@zanelambert7343 Жыл бұрын

question is was Urgan at the funeral?

@Sanguimaru 3 жыл бұрын

"Is that an astartes? What is about to happen-" [It's Calgar] "Oh. OH!"

@GaldirEonai 3 жыл бұрын

Funny story, by the way: Even Lords General tend to have trouble getting the Astartes in any given warzone to follow a common strategy with the rest of the imperial forces. Astartes have been known to _defer to Cain_ in matters of tactics.

@asonofhoruslegionary 3 жыл бұрын

GaldirEonai When was this?

@GaldirEonai 3 жыл бұрын

@@asonofhoruslegionary The Greater Good. The Reclaimers detachment at the research base defer to Cain when it comes to anti-tyranid tactics.

@adamcarroll9613 3 жыл бұрын

@@GaldirEonai Considering the Reclaimers entire lore is literally just 5 pages of question marks, that... is oddly fitting.

@Darthvegeta8000 3 жыл бұрын

@@adamcarroll9613 Also because he saved their asses in a previous story inside a Space Hulk. While trying not to get killed. ...he was being very Ciaphas Cain. All the smart decisions to not have to do shit. Still ends up having to save the day. Still does it. And is superglad to get away. That Space Hulk adventure preceeding it ends with him getting rid of a creepy fangirl aristocrat that hooked the local governor and with him prepping to be off to a (he thinks) safer venture.

@Kameth 3 жыл бұрын

Cain: I'm worthless and a complete coward Also Cain: One time I charged a greater demon with only a broken bayonet and a vial of holy water. Also also Cain: But no seriously I'm a coward, please don't venerate me.

@jtfbreedlove 3 жыл бұрын

That incendent needs a short story around it, because there's no way in the warp that Cain would do anything like that if there was literally any other option.

@Fourtytwo4242 3 жыл бұрын

@@jtfbreedlove There was most likely NO OTHER OPTION so he thought "If I am going to die I am going down swinging". Has a last ditch for survival it worked.

@GaldirEonai 3 жыл бұрын

As Cain himself puts it: A 0.00001% chance of survival is still better than none at all.

@sentrysapper45 3 жыл бұрын

@@jtfbreedlove I mean, he's survived close quarters combat against Chaos Space Marines, Hive Tyrants, a Genestealer Patriarch, and an Ork Warboss to name only a few incidents. He's a far more capable fighter than he gives himself credit for.

@Kameth 3 жыл бұрын

@@Fourtytwo4242 The best bit is this story is mentioned very off-handedly as he is charging a Hive Tyrant with just a chainsword and laspistol WHILE SUFFERING A MAJOR HEAD WOUND all the while going 'look, technically, these actions, while looking super heroic, I swear they aren't, it was totally the best option of a bad bunch, please don't think of me as a hero.'

@CanadianTeaMaker 3 жыл бұрын

Headcannon: All the luck that belonged to the Lamenters somehow ended up with Cain.

@JoshSweetvale 2 жыл бұрын

The Lamenters would actually be cool with that. Saves more lives that way. :v

@khylerbane4523 Жыл бұрын

Tzeentch probably did it.

@thunberbolttwo3953 Жыл бұрын

@@khylerbane4523 One of Tzeentchs practical jokes.

@midgetydeath 9 ай бұрын

I think they'd actually be okay with that. They seem like that kind of guy. The sort who'd be like "Oh, so its helping someone and saving peoples' lives? Well, that's a relief!" and carry on with peace of mind knowing that their good luck was saving people elsewhere, making all they endure worth it.

@johnorulzu 2 жыл бұрын

I love the tiny detail of how at 1:10 when the Guard was talking about his "plans" you can visually see him starting to shrink a tiny bit, he was knowing that this was absolute bullshit.

@qweasdoUAttgl5300 10 ай бұрын

Agree

@Self-replicating_whatnot 3 жыл бұрын

Ciaphas Kaine, a walking paradox. He thinks himself a coward when he's in fact brave, because Imperium doesn't value bravery, but fearlessness and Caine has to fight his fear every time fate throws him into another do or die situation. He thinks himself a scoundrel, when in fact he's a faithful servant of God-Emperor and does his duty every single time, and his attempts to avoid said duty are perfunctory at best. He thinks he doesn't deserve any of his glory, when in fact only big-dick space marine commanders have a better track record, and they have the advantage of transhuman physiology, hundreds of years of combat experience and a chapter of devoted murdermachines at their beck and call.

@paireon3419 3 жыл бұрын

That's pretty much impostor syndrome in a nutshell - someone who's actually competent/talented/knowledgeable, but has a hard time recognizing it themselves.

@Flight_of_Icarus 3 жыл бұрын

Impostor Syndrome and Depression can do that to a man.

@Prich319 3 жыл бұрын

I would gladly follow a man who believes he is a fraud over a man who thinks everything he says or does is infallible. Humility is a virtue, not a weakness, and overwhelming Hubris never ends well. Ciaphas Cain is a better man than he knows or will admit.

@leothewhiteranger 3 жыл бұрын

I mean, to be fair to Cain, he's actually had his skill in battle recognized BY space marines before. He dueled a loyalist space marine techmarine, and scratched the guy's armor... which the Techmarine keeps as a reminder not to underestimate people.

@bubbasbigblast8563 3 жыл бұрын

His bravery is kind of half-and-half: he'll always fight if it will save his life, but he'll also leave an entire planet to its doom instead of fighting a battle, if he's certain losing the planet won't come back to bite him.

@walterwilhelm5077 3 жыл бұрын

Necrons: 'exist in the sub-sector' Cain: Nigerundayo, Jurgen!

@kharak6204 3 жыл бұрын

Genestealers cultists: exist on the planet Cain: Nigerundayo, Jurg-.. FUCK THAT'S AN INQUISITOR THEY'LL KILL ME IF HE DIES AAAAAAAAAA

@rusdanibudiwicaksono1879 3 жыл бұрын

@@kharak6204 Okay, let's just wait here and let that Blank and his hanger-on screen for- OK CHANGE OF PLAN! *FOR THE EMPEROR!!!*

@weldonwin 3 жыл бұрын

@@kharak6204 Especially if its a very specific, very blonde, very sexy lady Inquisitor

@Kaymazo 3 жыл бұрын

IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING JOJO REFERENCE?!

@TheWarmachine375 3 жыл бұрын

@@Kaymazo Joseph Joestar: "NICE!"

@MrTexaspreacher 2 жыл бұрын

Coming back to this after two years, and listening to most of the audio books, even if Cain were to go out there and tell the truth most of the troopers under his command would think he was just being the ever humble commisar, downplaying his own heroics. So even if he did tell the truth, it would only make his inflated reputation even worse.

@TheNapster153 Жыл бұрын

So I guess that means even more rabid cheering?

@bodricthered 8 ай бұрын

They'd be right...

@yof106 11 ай бұрын

I like how TTS predicted Calgar having an imposter syndrome.

@GoklasM 3 жыл бұрын

I like how he's still cares about his troops. Even in this failed state he's still a better commissar than 99% of everyone else.

@beastwarsFTW 3 жыл бұрын

Who's the other 1%? Sebastian Yarrick?

@constrainedanacronysm1370 3 жыл бұрын

@@beastwarsFTW Yarrick and Gaunt.

@cheeseboy8599 3 жыл бұрын

What are you saying? HERETIC

@TheArklyte 3 жыл бұрын

@Anzu Wyliei Yarrick is last survivor solely by virtue of being nigh invincible bastard. He is always in the heat of it himself instead of using his troops to defend his ass, it's just that he usually fights odds so overwhelming that competence isn't enough and he can't pull a miracle out of his ass. Put Yarrick under Creed and things will change.

@johnlavery3433 3 жыл бұрын

Meanwhile there’s Kryptman

@Kemot300 3 жыл бұрын

Ciaphas Cain - The man who realise he has plot armor and that this is wrong in the 40K Universe

@fantochedollmaker7030 3 жыл бұрын

To be honest the parody goes a bit too far. Cain is lucky but never "insanely, shoot a rock to destroy an army" lucky. It's more like nobody can call out his lies because he was the only one there or something like that

@danielstephenaguilos9346 3 жыл бұрын

@@fantochedollmaker7030 nah he's luckier than the luckiest guy in the galaxy af lucky

@braith117 3 жыл бұрын

@@fantochedollmaker7030 Victory requires no explanation. Defeat allows none. That said, he did get called out by a junior commissar in one book for what she perceived as less than exemplary acts, but the tribunal of fellow commissars said he was in the right and offered to have her killed for insulting him.

@bengrogan9710 3 жыл бұрын

@@fantochedollmaker7030 Bull, He took on a fucking Carnifex with a Chainsword

@WASDLeftClick 3 жыл бұрын

Dude managed to survive when a whole squad of Necrons tried to kill him because 1. A Tech-Priest pushed him out of the way of a whole volley of gauss fire and took the hits for Ciaphas in the process. 2. He then dove into the warp portal the Necrons had used to surprise him, by actually leaping towards them. This confused them long enough that he didn’t get shot in the process. 3. It just so happened that the Necron ship the portal lead to was being boarded by a Space Marine Terminator squad at that exact moment and he popped out mere meters away from them.

@utubrGaming 2 жыл бұрын

Ciaphas Cain: as a commissar, if you keep on executing guardsmen when you're gonna be with them in a battlefield where they all have lasguns, you won't stay an active commissar for long. The Inquisition and the Commissariat: GENIUS!

@Forestxavier20 10 ай бұрын

Cain: Treat them like friends and they will follow you to the ends of the earth. Other Commissars: But what if they screw up? Cain: I don't know, just give them harsh, but fair punishments, threaten to make them scrub the latrines for a month with only a toothbrush. When marching towards the next location, they have to carry the heavy bits of the regiment gear. Tell them that you will play Cats on repeat for six hours. Actually, scratch that last one, they might end themselves if you choose that one. Too Cruel and Unusual.

@randomintrovertedspider7510 8 ай бұрын

@@Forestxavier20 And now I'm imagining Cain accidentally starting a chain reaction of reforms throughout the Imperium that results in humanity returning to their prime, lol.

@TheTrueAdept 4 ай бұрын

@@randomintrovertedspider7510 actually his memoirs were doing it. What we read is basically the 'real' copy with all the annotations in the margins.

@timezerohour8864 2 жыл бұрын

Cain is the only person in the known galaxy to remain on the active duty roster of the Astra Militarum even after being assumed dead and with full military honours. This is the result of a confusion in the Departmento Munitorum during the First Siege of Perlia, in which Cain was listed as killed in action until some point after he rejoined his regiment at the campaign's end. This pattern of returning alive after being declared dead occurred often enough during Cain's career that the Munitorum made a special ruling that Ciaphas Cain is to never be considered dead, despite evidence to the contrary.

@devildevious2646 Жыл бұрын

All I can imagine is someone showing up with Cain's body and the same munitorum guy from perlia just saying "... So MIA?"

@danniluxgarbe429 9 ай бұрын

You're really underselling the First Siege of Perlia... He was on the wrong side of an emergency bulkhead when the Hand of Vengence had a hull breach: MIA, assumed dead. Three weeks later, someone claiming to be Cain in a Saviour Pod makes Vox contact, gives the correct codes, but... he's assumed dead... so the Saviour Pod is ordered to land at the starport on the Western continent and is shot down instead in enemy territory on the Eastern continent. MIA, Almost certainly dead. two days later, a captured town on the eastern continent blows up so thoroughly that Imperial Navy can see it with the naked eye. Over the course of the next few months, SOMEONE is tearing a bloody path through the Orks, headed due west away from that explosion, and they're getting larger with every enemy contact. Imperial forces are tracking them as best they can, but OH NOES! They've been bottled up in a valley and the Orks are closing the trap! Valley floods as the dam bursts. Whoever they are, they must be dead now. less than two days later, Cain shows up, leading an ad-hoc regiment made up of PDF regulars and civilians across the peninsular with pictographic proof that he, personally, with just a chainsword and a laspistol, defeated the _Nob_ leading the _Waaaagh_ , shattering the Ork's fighting ability as the _Waaaagh_ 's clans descend into internecine fighting, and does anyone possibly have a bowl of tanna-leaf tea? Final Count: assumed dead three times in the same year, and Jurgen keeps cain pleasantly marinated in Tanna for the rest of their lives together.

@SalamanderBattleBrother 7 ай бұрын

@@danniluxgarbe429 and the guy think himself a fraud?

@danniluxgarbe429 7 ай бұрын

@@SalamanderBattleBrother Imposter syndrome is a hell of a thing. Quite a lot of Cain's memoirs is either, "I didn't want to do it, but it was either do that or die... so i did it, but I wasn't happy about it." or "If I did something cowardly at this juncture, I'd waste the social capital I earned from the last time I didn't do something cowardly, so I I'll do the brave thing, I guess... If I have to."

@AROBASPARK 3 жыл бұрын

Finally, he found a kindred spirit in his overtly exaggerated fame.

@Marinealver 3 жыл бұрын

the entire Ultramarines Chapter

@Corax.S 3 жыл бұрын

MOOOOOOOOOD KINDRED!

@robertnelson9599 3 жыл бұрын

They can sit and cry together about how undeserving they are of their fame.

@This_side_of_the_internet 3 жыл бұрын

@@Marinealver To be fair, Papa Smurf is probably the only one self-aware among them...

@kormorgen637 3 жыл бұрын

At first I thought "wait is that some kind of Xenos that I haven't heard about?" Then all of the sudden they hug. And I'm like oh. They just feel the same way about themselves.

@dilophosaurussk4333 3 жыл бұрын

Cain is the kid that remembers only half the curriculum, but by random luck every question is from the half he remembers so he passes each test with an A.

@blackadder564 3 жыл бұрын

I think I remember his grades actually being average in the academic parts of his training. But he excelled in tactics, combat training, and sports.

@ConfusedGuardsman 3 жыл бұрын

Thats me in college at the moment. Emperor preserve me.

@omeven5785 3 жыл бұрын

@@ConfusedGuardsman Mood kindred???

@ghuttsmckenzie4269 3 жыл бұрын

That is me in general! I'm kinda surprised at how lucky i am not to have failed til I hit college!

@St33lStrife 3 жыл бұрын

I'm hoping that's me this semester

@JessZomb Жыл бұрын

That genuine 'Are you also a piece of shit' that only two people so over their heads can understand is beautiful.

@MrGranten 3 жыл бұрын

Inquisitor Vail: Jurgen, he's been in there for hours. Get him out, we've got another nest of genestealers to burn. Jurgen: Can't inquisitors just flirt like normal people?

@bobesponja3702 3 жыл бұрын

So Jurgen is like the wingman to both of them

@kalashnikovdevil 3 жыл бұрын

...yeah that's pretty accurate to their relationship really. On the plus side, Amberly *is* super hot, even without the ability to consign planets to exterminatus.

@kreigguardsman3355 2 жыл бұрын

@@kalashnikovdevil luckily she is much more sane and intelligent to do that

@servinginhellaimingforheav2446 2 жыл бұрын

My theory : Vail give all those missions to Cain just so she can spend time with him 😉😉😉

@michalsoukup1021 2 жыл бұрын

@@kreigguardsman3355 Oh, she would, happily, do so if she saw no better alternative.

@MrMortull 3 жыл бұрын

Everyone: freaking out about Ciaphas' breakdown and how he totally deserves his reputation for pushing through his basic nature to make it work in spite of himself... Me: Do you people not see how much Calgar needed this, too?

@rusdanibudiwicaksono1879 3 жыл бұрын

"Yeah, but, _Wardian Smurfs._ " (eeeeeeewwww)

@MrMortull 3 жыл бұрын

@@rusdanibudiwicaksono1879 Chapter Master Calgar hates what his Chapter have become, too. He cast Fist on Cato Sicarius.

@PauaP 3 жыл бұрын

@@MrMortull But Sicarius kinda deserves being FISTED. Someones gotta check his ego from time to time.

@Jaegerrants 3 жыл бұрын

What about Gaunt? Or Schaeffer? Easily in same category but personality issues take back seat.

@isaiahkayode6526 3 жыл бұрын

@MrMortull But Calgar is the Chapter master of The Ultramarines The Greatest Of Them All how could possibly hate them for that

@euychua 3 жыл бұрын

Finally Calgar has someone to share his problems with now.

@nicedaemonette 3 жыл бұрын

But how will being friends with Calgar affect Cain's inevitable meeting with Rowbeot Gillyman?!?! We've already established Cain will fear the Ultra Primarch will have seen through his facade and is constantly toying with him, only for Gillyman to just genuinely appreciate an fellow sensible Imperial Commander!

@gustadood9166 3 жыл бұрын

@ivan ivanovitch ivanovsky Sometimes we like to tease the people we appreciate. Guilliman taking the piss out of him would likely be good natured, but Cain will just be that more paranoid that someone has seen through his facade.

@dominicvucic8654 3 жыл бұрын

I thought amber vale i think her. Ame is has already seen through his facade

@gustadood9166 3 жыл бұрын

@@dominicvucic8654 Yes, that's right. But it might be harder to get used to a Primarch, one of the Emperor's Sons, knowing.

@michaelkimberling7307 3 жыл бұрын

SirBrasstion the Munitorium has a standing order that it is to refuse any reports of him being dead even if there is proof. As far as they’re concerned he can never die. Also there are rejuvenate treatments that he can access due to his relationship with Amberley Vale. He and Jurgan both get access to it because of her.

@harl3quinn 7 ай бұрын

"God-Emperor, I am such a piece of shit!" - Man who fought in melee combat against Khornate Chaos Marines twice. And won.

@ollanius_papyrus80 6 ай бұрын

Thinking about how Ciaphas Cain’s first instinct upon seeing the chapter master of the most powerful space marine chapter in the imperium was to ask him if he was a piece of shit. Imagine how badly that could have gone.

@rattles8789 3 жыл бұрын

The way he slowly sinks into his coat in absolute horror and panic at seeing the Commander made my day.

@TheWarmachine375 3 жыл бұрын

Space Marines can be stealthy when they want to be. Good thing Calgar finally found MOOD KINDRED with Ciaphas Cain

@Jampolo_OG 3 жыл бұрын

That death glare is not doing Calgar any favors either

@mizuhokusuha 3 жыл бұрын

I had thought it was a black templar until he spoke.

@beastwarsFTW 3 жыл бұрын

@@Jampolo_OG You try not looking pissed when you have to deal with the Ultramarines' chanting and patting themselves on the back all the time.

@rattles8789 3 жыл бұрын

@@mizuhokusuha That would be very, very bad for morale

@pivNspace 3 жыл бұрын

“And THEN he soiled himself so as to hide his scent from the impending Tyranid raid causing them to turn on the Orks, BRILLIANT”

@aprinnyonbreak1290 3 жыл бұрын

He followed that by playing dead, which he KNEW the Necron vita scanners would see through, lulling them into a false sense of security and luring them right into the secret ritual that was going to bring forth a Demon Prince, spoiling it and neutralizing both forces without firing a shot.

@johndelacruz1422 3 жыл бұрын

He really did that?!

@y.kazayaki3681 3 жыл бұрын

@@johndelacruz1422 yes hahahaha

@ianbailey4213 3 жыл бұрын

I feel like that was actually a part of one of the books.

@MitchellTF 3 жыл бұрын

@Cloier Neirmr ...Also, that time he stopped a NEcron Invasion... By flooding them with Promethum, and tossing down a VERY big match on the way down.

@MrTeslatank 5 ай бұрын

Fun bit of trivia/fan speculation about all his book covers are in fact not actual pictures of ciphas cain but are propaganda posters of him the biggest tell of this is that he is depicted with a bolt pistol(the commissar go too) instead of his trusted laspistol amongst other inconstancy's between the covers and the actual story in the books.

@ludwigvanmichael1183 Жыл бұрын

Thing about Ciaphas Cain...he is one lucky bastard alright, but you can't survive the 40K universe on luck alone. He IS an actual BADASS, but he's so used to secretly blaming his success on luck that he doesn't even realise it. He calls himself a coward yet he storms the front lines alone, he calls himself incompetent yet he's one of the most feared swordsman in the whole galaxy. Guy just needs a therapist.

@kreigguardsman3355 9 ай бұрын

Cain’s swordsmanship is so great a tech marine do the reclaimers has called him one of the best. He is able to fight everything from a ork war boss to a Khorne beserker. He may be a coward and imposter in his mind but the man had the skill and know how to survive the hell’s ape that is 40K

@void-creature 3 ай бұрын

My man needs ALL the therapy

@yourpersonalrobotwaifu8404 25 күн бұрын

There are no therapists in the dark future, only the rapists and one of them nearly drove him to suicide when she wanted to steal in to Commorragh.

@snakething87 3 жыл бұрын

I’m just now realizing how many heroes of the imperium are just lucky assholes who secretly long for death.

@travelingspartan2035 3 жыл бұрын

Pretty sure Dante fits that bill, for example.

@MrLekorrigan 3 жыл бұрын

Cain don't want death, he just longs for a little bit of calm and tranquility, but noooooo the universe as other plans for him, and considering the fact that he is a born leader the emperor probably send him waves after waves of problems because he can take it

@jalpat2272 3 жыл бұрын

@@travelingspartan2035 especially dante ,he was reduced to sobbing boy in his "dying" dream after soloing swarmlord, dreaming himself returned to his father (not sanguinus his real one) and show him he became an angel.

@voidstrider801 3 жыл бұрын

@@jalpat2272 Dante also had a dying dream of sanguinus during another battle, where sanguinus said something like this to him: My son, the greatest of my sons, you have fought longer and harder than most, forgive me, but it is not yet your time to rest. Dante's men were trying to hold him down as he was screaming for his sanguinus to take him with him. Feels bad man, Dante just wants to die after centuries of fighting, he is tired, duty is the only thing that keeps him going, for the blood angels, for the imperium, for the emperor. Dante: Man literally too loyal to die, even though he wants to.

@Furzkampfbomber 3 жыл бұрын

@@voidstrider801 So it's literally Dante's Inferno. There is probably an engraving on the chestplate of his power armor "Abandon hope all ye who enter here"...

@TafJaf 3 жыл бұрын

Cain's spirit animal is Courage the Cowardly Dog

@zarlsalamandersspacemarine302 3 жыл бұрын

"Oh the things I do for love"

@NameName2.0 3 жыл бұрын

Jesus it really is though..

@arnantphongsatha7906 3 жыл бұрын

I hate myself for not making this connection sooner.

@therasslintheatre2960 3 жыл бұрын

Ok, but what's his Stand ?

@videopolice432 3 жыл бұрын

@@therasslintheatre2960 "Staying alive"?

@maximtsai1856 Жыл бұрын

The voice acting for Cain is amazing.

@DeadEyeJedi Жыл бұрын

Not surprising, he was voiced by Takahata101, also known for voicing Nappa, Alucard and Cell (among others) for Team Four Star,.

@SparkShadow212 Ай бұрын

Well, it is Mr Perfect Cell himself.

@soggycracker5934 3 жыл бұрын

Courage is not a lack of fear. It is overcoming your fears. Cain, is to me, a great hero of the Imperium. Despite, or IN spite, of his fears, he continued to serve the Imperium.

@Lemuria1993 3 жыл бұрын

Can't wait for Cain being dragged in into Corvus and Vulkan's crusade to save Holy Terra; after all, a proper crusade need a proper HERO OF THE IMPERIUM

@jonathanfrank1189 3 жыл бұрын

Make this happen!

@bcbc-xt3gw 3 жыл бұрын

idk, Does sly count?

@derrickzane5834 3 жыл бұрын

Friend Commissar Cain must be rewarded for his bravery with the hug of friendship!

@christopherpalazzolo9547 3 жыл бұрын

Given that Vulkan and Corvis are running a tour of guardsmen regiments. It wouldn’t surprise me if Cain appeared when they were doing one on Valhalla. Seeing as the 597th is the most well known Valhallan regiment.

@MrAwsomenoob 3 жыл бұрын

"Of course at the time i couldn't have thought of a safer place in the galaxy then behind an actual primarch. But If i had known what untold suffering and horror laid on the path to Terra with the sons of the emperor, i would have gladly led a patrol into a genestealer nest with a rusty spoon."

@DrmChsr0 3 жыл бұрын

I... I did not expect Calgar AND Cain hugging it out. I WANT MORE.

@NameIsDoc 3 жыл бұрын

stop thats slaaneshi!

@drivanradosivic1357 3 жыл бұрын

@@NameIsDoc nah, not enough EXTREME BDSM for Slaneeshi aproval. basically, if it is in moderation, it is not Slaneeshi tier trash.

@Matihood1 3 жыл бұрын

Me neither. But the moment I heard Karl's voice, I knew exactly what was going to happen. Still laughed my ass off tho.

@drivanradosivic1357 3 жыл бұрын

although, that makes me wonder, if Slaneesh can be everything you want, what would happen to that extreme BDSM Manifestation, if you want to be someone coming back to your spouse for passionate loving marathon sex? a "does not compute" or what?

@NetGreen123 3 жыл бұрын

I ALSO WANT MORE, TRUE MOOD KINDRED

@sevengemsstudios9262 3 жыл бұрын

I do really like the ending though. Because it has a very simplistic and wholesome, if unintentional, message, at least for the majority of the audience: There is ALWAYS someone who will understand your pains and fears, and most importantly, accept you inspite of those and most any flaw you may have. Cain and the Commander both have immense feelings of inadequacy based on the fact that they feel like their accomplishments and awards have been given out based on the fact that they are always the victor in situations where they feel that they just as easily could have failed. They constantly doubt and diminish themselves and rather than bolster themselves by reassuring themselves that their accomplishments were the work of instinct, simply because by default they feel inadequate and bumbling to themselves, even if everyone around them agrees they acted in the right absolutely and could have even been guided by the emperor himself. They don't feel confident enough to claim the emperor guided them because he very well may not have, but they can't afford for anyone to think otherwise and put on airs. And as a result feel guilty and inadequate for it. But I may just be drunk and high at 5am overanalysing a youtube skit based on a tabletop game cannon AU humor channel.

@deplorabledegenerate2630 2 жыл бұрын

I love how he literally morphs from the chad into the virgin. Like he is some kind of daywalker.

@Jimbo55151 3 жыл бұрын

Man, this episode of Space Blackadder got weird.

@johnroscoe2406 3 жыл бұрын

lol "Space Blackadder" that's awesome.

@ariandynas 3 жыл бұрын

@@johnroscoe2406 It's also a half accurate summation. The other half is Flashman.

@skepticalmagos_101 3 жыл бұрын

Baldrick? Where's Baldrick??

@ariandynas 3 жыл бұрын

@@skepticalmagos_101 That would be Gunner Jurgen - not very well portrayed here, Imperial unregistered Blank, porn-enthusaist, and the filthiest soldier in the Imperial Guard. He practically has a miasma of BO that precedes him by several feet.

@Jimbo55151 3 жыл бұрын

ariandynas Don’t forget his innate ability to destroy at least 2 oared cars and 12 lampposts whenever he drives

@lifeispain3782 3 жыл бұрын

Warhammer 40K: The Musical is looking great.

@MagicalMaster 3 жыл бұрын

If Alfabusa did a musical I... I'd probably forget to eat and sleep with all the rewatches.

@ieuanhunt552 3 жыл бұрын

Well there is Stringstorms insane 40k themed Idol competition. Which I swear is in the same universe as TTS.

@BubblesTheBard 3 жыл бұрын

Fund it.

@aoofmg6684 3 жыл бұрын

If there will be a musical of 40k on this channel I'll surely support it!

@pclone5019 3 жыл бұрын

Someone's gonna do this now, huh?

@utes5532 Жыл бұрын

The thing is, Ciaphas Cain, while very lucky on many occasions, is perhaps the most brilliantly written case of impostor syndrome I've ever seen. His tactical knowledge has won many battles. He is an astoundingly skilled swordsman, to the point of being called one of the best by an experienced inquisitor (And doing things like fending off a knornate chaos marine in melee combat and beating an ork Warboss in a 1-on-1 duel). He led a ragtag group of civilians and PDF survivors behind enemy lines to turn the tide of a WAAGH. Among many other feats. So yes, he has had his bullshit plot-armor/luck moments, but really it's honestly more that he downplays himself so much that his accomplishments seem so much more unbelievable than they actually are.

@helloidharbl6753 2 жыл бұрын

[Ultra comfort and support] I've read all the Ciaphas Cain novels. I've concluded that Cain is a true heroic figure, possessed of extraordinary skill, courage, and luck. Remember that these novels are mostly his auto biography, written while retired in a nice study with a glass of amasec or tanna tea.

@ES21007 Жыл бұрын

And edited by a hot inquisitor. And he survived long enough, not just to retirement, but to die of OLD AGE with FULL MILITARY HONORS. And the Imperium STILL hasn't listed him as KIA because he's come back alive so many times that he might just do it again.

@Nempo13 11 ай бұрын

@@ES21007 Just imagine. Emps wakes up and has ascended into a chaos god of his own right (he has enough believers for thousands of years so it could easily happen if he were to properly die on the throne). So the Legion of the Damned is now known to be his 'daemons' that protect the Imperium. Out walks several of the honorable dead as 'daemons' of Emps, among them is one Ciaphas Cain... bewildered and annoyed that he is once again being forced to fight when all he wants is to relax. Jurgan walking beside him as usual.

@TheNapster153 7 ай бұрын

@@Nempo13And of course, somehow, Jurgen is actually still alive and healthy. Just a bit getting on the years. Not even Emps knows why, and he just says to ignore it.

@yokogoph 3 жыл бұрын

He clearly needs an Inquisitor GF who loves him for who he is.

@glenmcgillivray4707 3 жыл бұрын

Someone get me a squad of groupie Sisters of battle who can see the truth. Cain's fear is Empowered by the Emperor himself, he is guided by the throne itself. Why.... Licking his socks is almost like sniffing the Emperor's own. Nothing heretic about hero worship here.

@m1garandMUSIC 3 жыл бұрын

Benito Mussolini amberley veil of the ordo xenos

@kalin210 3 жыл бұрын

I was half expecting it, but honestly papa smurf finding a kindered soul was such a good touch.

@SgtGigawattz 3 жыл бұрын

@Benito Mussolini He means Amberly Veil, an Ordo Xenos Inquisitor, who actually knew about Cain's true self but still loved(?) and respected him regardless due to the sheer weight of his deeds. She also noted, after publishing Cain's memoirs, that the idea that Cain was a normal person only made him MORE of a Hero of the Imperium than if he were a man of endless courage. Point blank: She liked him because he was a normal guy that did extraordinary things.

@ProjectEkerTest33 3 жыл бұрын

Amberly: Sure you're a cynical coward who somehow keeps blindly falling into victory... but you're MY cynical coward! Also it's my week to have custody of Jurgen, I need him to take out some psykers for me

@gorvarhadgarson5227 3 жыл бұрын

I like to think that either the Chaos Gods or the God Emperor himself is keeping Caine alive...as a joke.

@thepopulargirl1784 3 жыл бұрын

It must be whatever force keeps making the Ultramarine not be able to fail.

@absalomdraconis 3 жыл бұрын

"Huh, this one hasn't broken yet. Guess I'll use him again."

@ChibiKami 3 жыл бұрын

@@thepopulargirl1784 that's just following the manual written by their spiritual liege, The Codex Astartes, to a T

@TheGodEmperorOfMankind_ 3 жыл бұрын

I can't confirm nor deny

@weldonwin 3 жыл бұрын

Well, there is a small sect of the Imperial Cult on Tallarn who believe Cain to be a prophet and conduit of the Emperor's Will. Mostly, I think Cain is just very resourceful and has such a tenacious will to survive, that he'd kick death in the junk if it ever actually came for him

@Tayvin4042 2 жыл бұрын

*The fallen shall be forever remembered as the Emperor's Finest.*

@helloidharbl6753 2 жыл бұрын

Y O U R O R D E R S.? 💀 💀

@HeIsAnAli Жыл бұрын

Fallen? What Fallen? I don’t see any Fallen. _(Asmodai...!)_

@kriegertechpriest7011 Жыл бұрын

@@HeIsAnAli *Spin wheels into the room* *_I N T E R R O G A T E !?_*

@terryliliana 3 жыл бұрын

Cain is the anime MC who genuinelly wants a normal and honest life and the next moment he already defeated 6 gods, saved the world, found his missing dad and got a harem with a tsundere, a yandere, an ara ara, his little sister, a trap, a tomboy, the main female villain, a robot and a thot, all via bullshit he doesn't even know how it happened.

@devildevious2646 2 жыл бұрын

Yes

@ian7809 2 жыл бұрын

I wanna watch this anime

@samuelthegreatoo 2 жыл бұрын

Slaanesh puts as many women who’ve shown an interest in him together for a romcom. The ‘harem members’ can’t kill one another. Emps and Slaanesh are laughing at a Daemon Princess and an Inquisitor having a shouting match because they physically can’t kill one another. Cain is hiding under the sofa.

@thebighurt2495 Жыл бұрын

@@samuelthegreatoo Ok, so there's an Inquisitor, a TechPriest Magos, Daemon Princess and Governor's Daughter for starters. We won't even get into the countless women he.... Dine'n'Dashed over his career.

@devildevious2646 Жыл бұрын

@@thebighurt2495 that governors daughter is married now but I mean... Cain became an even bigger hero so I think she'd go for him now in a heartbeat

@bray2964 3 жыл бұрын

Imagine this from the point of a guardsman. You see the massive commander of the Ultramarines enter the room in which commissar Cain stands, soon after the door closes, you hear the commander crying...

@thebighurt2495 3 жыл бұрын

I'm honestly not sure who to be more worried for. Space Marines have died both because, nearby and directly from Cain.

@Shogun0099 3 жыл бұрын

This is Jurgen, he's honestly used to this.

@fantochedollmaker7030 3 жыл бұрын

Dude that's Jurgen, he'll shrug and go "Oh my lord is crying for the Emperor, I'll go prepare some tanna and get him lunch"

@AsbestosMuffins 3 жыл бұрын

"Commisar Cain was so moved by one of the emperor's own godly warriors presenting him with the star of terra that even he, as stoic and heroic as he was, was in fact moved to tears by the honor. Naturally I felt a surge of pride swell in my own breast upon hearing him admittedly through the thick wooden door." -From 'Like a Pheonix on the Wing', Part 2 of the Memoirs of General Jenet Sulla (Ret)

@bobesponja3702 3 жыл бұрын

Jurgen be like : this is fine

@loyal0299 3 жыл бұрын

Meanwhile on terra Rogal Dorn: Why continue this mans suffering? Emperor: because I find it hilarious. Rogal: that’s cruel father. Emperor: I have been on this throne for millennia. I will have this joke if it’s the last thing I do.

@Voriof1 3 жыл бұрын

And I heard that in Rogal Dorn's voice. Scary. And perfect. Besides, the man's getting stuff done. And he is, as the Emprah says, hilarious.

@flamingcroatan3739 3 жыл бұрын

Ah the Emperor's old tricks agian

@wudanty7381 3 жыл бұрын

I want this as an actual thing made by alfabusa.

@Voriof1 3 жыл бұрын

@@wudanty7381 Yes, he is one of the few parts of the Imperium that is not actually on fire. It would be a definite change of pace for the current coverage of the Bombperium.

@aceofspadesguy4913 3 жыл бұрын

10 millennia*

@ProcyonDei Жыл бұрын

The Emperor coming up with the next shenanigan to put Cain through: "Oh my sweet summer child."

@martinp1054 11 ай бұрын

4:04 he has masterd the art of staying so incredibly still most people mistake him for a column or a piece of the wall

@solounwapodemuchos 3 ай бұрын

Tyberos has done that too I think

@Tomhortone 3 ай бұрын

Yes a tech priest was thinking he was a giant terminator statue

@Jimbo55151 3 жыл бұрын

Remember , true bravery is BEING a coward and still facing what scared you.

@ChibiKami 3 жыл бұрын

@MrNahual2099 the shit Courage is up against would send anyone running

@TheWarmachine375 3 жыл бұрын

@MrNahual2099 Cowardly Lion trope to be exact

@Jimbo55151 3 жыл бұрын

MrNahual2099 Courage, Ciaphus, and Luigi are the real chads

@viyhexe131 3 жыл бұрын

As the man himself said: when your only chance for survival is to charge a raging Carnifex with nothing but a broken table leg, you charge the Carnifex.

@iglidor 3 жыл бұрын

Well considering that Cain is always running away from things that scare him, it is only cosmic level joke that he ends up running into something worse most of the time

@MrMorvana 3 жыл бұрын

Ciaphas Cain is a true hero. Unlike what he thinks, he isn't "a piece of shit". He doesn't want to be on the frontline (or in any danger), but when the danger inevitably comes to him, he makes what is necessary to survive. He cares about his soldiers even if he doesn't really realize it... It's a 100% better than the "heroes" who charge to their death with their men for "glory" or something...

@DoesNotComphoot 3 жыл бұрын

SOUNDS LIKE Y' DON'T FOIGHT IN MELEE, BOI. WOT'RE YA, A FOKIN' TAU?

@fxitfastah 3 жыл бұрын

Whahaha( I tried to write it Orkish but this stupidity needs to rebuked the proper way. So you can see the error in your ways... "Ciaphas Cain is a true hero." True hero's are not villains on another side(this time the Orks) "Unlike what he thinks, he isn't "a piece of shit"" Whatever he thinks is irrelevant, his actions are. His actions show much of a hero her truly is. "He doesn't want to be on the frontline (or in any danger), but when the danger inevitably comes to him, he makes what is necessary to survive" This is normal, not hero like, this is how all "normal" humans will act. None wants to be in the front. But there you are wrong, very wrong. A true hero's shows courage, some even volunteered, the realization that if you do not do it other will die for it, spurs you into action, regardless the costs (for his own survival) What you just described my dear Vince is the way of a coward. I agree it might be better then reckless charges, but it's still the cowards way of survival.

@swolie 3 жыл бұрын

The man who can admit that he’s failure, is a bigger hero than Cato Sicarius.

@badfoody 3 жыл бұрын

as per his girlfriend's words "he doesn't give himself enough credit"

@LordDragox412 3 жыл бұрын

@@DoesNotComphoot Tau are the only faction following the social distancing rules.

@xwing2417 3 жыл бұрын

His knack for survival is definitely inspiring. His self-interest and desire to avoid shame is actually his most useful character trait. Any time you see Inquisitor Vale's foot-notes you'll get a better understanding of his character. In a roundabout way, he's a courageous. Some of my favorite books.

@alloran0987 Жыл бұрын

The footnotes were a wonderful thing to add to the books. The cool thing is that Inquisitor Vale basically says throughout the books that Cain essentially has fooled himself in regards to his actual heroism and bravery, like a coping mechanism to explain his luck and the things he's been able to survive. It's imposter syndrome all the way. Plus, Jurgen is an absolute hero and should've been recognized and commended more.

@JakeBaldwin1 Жыл бұрын

@@alloran0987 I was recently reading for the emperor and in one of the notes Vale said that one of the reasons Cain hated a propaganda film about himself was because they excluded Jurgen.

@VhenRaTheRaptor 11 ай бұрын

@@JakeBaldwin1 Because Jurgen is basically his best friend. He might be a little dim and not exactly the most clean... but he is a bravo, competent and loyal soldier who has saved Cain's rear countless number of times. And for someone like Cain who doesn't really trust many people... he actually trusts Jurgen.

@Mirekluk 10 ай бұрын

@@VhenRaTheRaptor Because it doesn't matter what he orders him to do. He won't question it. He won't think about it. He will only execute. I loved in For The Emperor when Cain commands Jurgen to drive. The moment is just too hilarious to me.

@Karak-_- 10 ай бұрын

It's kinda hearthwarming to see them just hug it out. To take comfort that there is someone who understands your situation.

@xignited 3 жыл бұрын

I'll never forget the day Commissar Ciaphas Cain saved me and my family... The world was under siege from both chaos and Xenos forces. My wife had just given birth. In my arms, I held her and my newborn son. I fled towards a gunship preparing to leave knowing it was my family's only hope. I could see Commissar Cain entering the gunship. Even if confronting a commissar only meant a swifter death it was still better than what chaos and Xenos had in store. I beg him to take my wife and child. He turned to me... and ill never forget what he said "Not where I'm headed". I watched him fly higher and higher away from the battle until unseen by cloud cover... .... But It wasn't cloud cover... IT WAS A STEALTHED XENOS FLAGSHIP. Ciaphas Cain had HEROICLY piloted the gunship straight into the Xenos flagship. He then dove both vehicles down, straight into the enemy forces. I didn't even know Commissar Cain knew how to pilot a gunship much less perform such aerial maneuvers. Truly a courageous man. But it doesn't stop there! On the decent, Melta Bomb's fell from the gunship destroying the Xenos forces. Then the Xenos flagship crashed destroying a chaos ritual. After doing a barrel roll into a loop de loop Commissar Cain safely landed the now inoperable gunship and walked away without a scratch. It was then I remembered his words to me "Not where I'm headed". He wasn't rejecting my family... he was saving them. He must have planned the WHOLE DAMED THING! That day I named my son after him. Commissar Ciaphas Cain is nothing short of a HERO of the imperium.

@kgfalcon9394 3 жыл бұрын

I was there as a tank commander supporting the heroes troops. The tyranids were endless, their bio-forms ripping apart my comrades. Cain jumped into our Leman Russ and said to fall back. As we turned and fell back to the next line of defense, hordes of necrons teleported into the ranks of the tyranid armies. The two sides decimated each other, thats when the space marines arrived to pick off the scattered pieces of the two. I only wish to be the tenth of a man Commissar Cain is.

@lonelybag8510 3 жыл бұрын

I was with them with squad when that happen! it was truly a majestic sight to behold. he was with us before he went to the gunship. and piloted it to destroy the xeno flagship, we thought he had abandoned us. but I was a fool to think of that. not only did he, save us from the xeno ship. he revealed the location of cloaked eldar regiment that was flanking us, and dropped a melta charged at them. it was as if he knew they were there and dropped it on them while also taking care of the xeno flagship. and after he landed, he went back to my regiment. as we sat there in aw, he asked us frantically for a gun. obviously, he knew the fight wasn't over. and so we fought, at first i thought he was shooting randomly at the xenos. but he was actually taking care of strategic targets. AND HE ONLY HAD A LAS PISTOL ON HIM! truly, he is a man worth following even to the end of life itself.

@Asayano 3 жыл бұрын

I was only a Whiteshield when that event unfolded on Gebiss V. Hope was almost lost, what with the tyranids, eldar, and necron infesting the planet. We were beset on all sides by the enemy with nothing but a bayonet, a lasgun, and a couple of tanks and chimeras to defend the small manofactorum in the planet. We were all under the threat of death. One morning, an Ork Rokk dropped hundreds of kilometres away, but their Waaaghs! sounded closer than that. What little hope we had evaporated. That was until Ciaphas Cain, Hero of the Imperium, stepped forth from an unknown bunker deep beneath the manofactorum! He was a sight for sore eyes, that man. His wide grin gave everyone, even the pessimists and the hopeless, a hint that victory was near! The first thing he said to us was to "...hold out a little longer," while he explored the bunker further, needing only a little more time to surprise the greenskins. Even though I was merely a conscript, he handed me command of my own soldiers to lead the defensive line. I was scared, I had no formal training before then, and I was afraid that I would lead these soldiers to their deaths unnecessarily! When the Orkz came with their clunky scrapped vehicles, the gun fire began. They tore through one of our tanks so easily first. Their superior firepower pinned down even our heavy guns. I was shouting orders, but it fell on deaf ears as my comrades hid in cover. In a moment of bravery or stupidity, I stood out and shot back at the Orkz to make an example... or to end my suffering as I had nothing else to lose. A couple followed suit, shooting back recklessly and without thought. We hit a couple of Orkz, but they hit back harder as they directed their fire towards us. It was then that suddenly, Ciaphas Cain, Hero of the Imperium, emerged from the Manofactorum with a BANEBLADE! The roars of its 11 barrels of hell ripped and tore through the Orkz, causing them to flee!

@nervehive2768 3 жыл бұрын

*YOU BEAUTIFUL FOOLS!!*

@Cainthegodslayer 3 жыл бұрын

@@nervehive2768 indeed.

@aveioacosta371 3 жыл бұрын

Its funny because this is only SLIGHTLY exaggerating this mans life. It's not even plot armor at this point, the mans got a plot baneblade.

@frenchsoldier8485 3 жыл бұрын

No, a Plot Emperor-Class

@HubiKoshi 3 жыл бұрын

He exists for the amusement of the Chaos Gods and/or the Emperor so of course he has protection!

@viyhexe131 3 жыл бұрын

He is where the luck of the entire Lamenters chapter got transplanted to.

@Raithul 3 жыл бұрын

To be fair, while there is obviously some luck (good and bad) involved in the situations he finds himself in, he's harder on himself internally than is actually justified. To all his protests, he does genuinely risk his life for his troops when the chips are down, and he is a fantastic sword-fighter and absurdly good at inspiring his men's bravery and getting the best out of them - which is pretty much exactly his job. When the video calls it "Imposter Syndrome", I think it hit the nail right on the head - I think he honestly deserves far more of his victories, praise, and accolades than he himself believes he does.

@dndhat 3 жыл бұрын

Aveio Acosta while there is a bit of plot Titan at his back, he is also a shockingly competent officer, master swordsman, motivational speaker and tactician. Part of his charm as a character is his imposter syndrome making him a far from reliable narrator. You can read him as a fraud, like he sees himself, or you can see him as a brilliant commander who is his own worst critic.

@dangerouslysafe3 8 ай бұрын

Fun fact: Ciaphas Cain became so good at cheating death at every possible juncture, when his supposed "actual death" came about, the Imperium purposefully left his status as MIA, just in case he cheated death again.

@rafaelalesso5444 4 ай бұрын

I love how he passed from horror throat noise to chuckle charmingly as an instinctive survival method when being caught.

@franzsanders9573 3 жыл бұрын

Virtually Every 40K Character in TTS: Humorous exaggeration of who they are in actual 40K canon Ciaphas Cain in TTS: Literally just the same character but animated

@somethinglikethat2176 3 жыл бұрын

What about Colonel Straken?

@Spartan135 3 жыл бұрын

@@somethinglikethat2176 this guy needs no parody version.

@piratekingthaszar7912 3 жыл бұрын

@@somethinglikethat2176 how does one parody a catachan? They're literally an army of space Rambos.

@squeaky1963 3 жыл бұрын

No doubt Cain screams his lungs out and cries when he's taking his rudimentary hot showers after accidentally running into Nids, and Necrons when he was just having a look around the place

@DeusExMachina10001 3 жыл бұрын

Their portrayal of Sly Marbo is completely accurate.

@giantdad7556 3 жыл бұрын

I call this "When in RP your character is supposed to be hella weak, but you got god-like rolls"

@khurelbatbayanbat7913 3 жыл бұрын

When the comic relief character throws a Hail Mary shot into the big bad and somehow kills the BBEG

@zombiecaligula385 3 жыл бұрын

Grendel the acolyte sends his regards. Ever seen an obese middle aged man knife a bloodthirster to death on accident? Hell, Grendel got immortalized in a Dark Heresy book after the greentext got released.

@vincentmuyo 3 жыл бұрын

Look, I threw all my training into swordsmanship, OK? I'll just have my character sit things out in a nice quiet artillery regiment.

@cptcarlos583 3 жыл бұрын

So... a Giant dad, then.

@rakshithanand8262 3 жыл бұрын

@@cptcarlos583 No? GiantDad was built from the ground up to be the most annoying pvp experience possible at the time.

@usb6000 11 ай бұрын

Thanks games workshop for ensuring the fact that we will never know how this fanfiction ends.

@khelom 9 ай бұрын

Of all the work of Alfabusa , this is the pièce I have watched the most . I don't know why, but there's a magic in it , a little miracle between the music, the characters, the voices , the lore .... A perfect moment .

@plasmancer6104 3 жыл бұрын

Man, Ciaphas Cain is so humble he tries to put himself down as to act with more humility. Truly an inspiration to us all.

@theriveracis5172 3 жыл бұрын

This is unironically Jurgen's interpretation of him.

@horuslupercal3872 3 жыл бұрын

Make that face purple and it's Thanos Cain

@RolandTheJabberwocky 3 жыл бұрын

NOOOO STOP DOING THAT -Ciaphas Cain

@robertmartin8907 3 жыл бұрын

@Cian Abroad well, I mean, it is true. He is a total coward who under normal circumstances would have been disgraced long ago. It is only through extreme luck that he is even alive, and that his blunders make people think he is a hero.

@4thSurviver 3 жыл бұрын

@@robertmartin8907 He isn't a total coward though. You put him in a horrible situation and he will make rational decisions to ensure his survival (and his friends) rather then break down and panic and start crying on the spot. At times he will even do brave and foolhardy things because he knows he has a rep to protect. Most importantly he has an inquisitor reading his accounts and constantly chiming in to say that Cain's vision of himself is undeservedly harsh.

@eaterofchickens5438 3 жыл бұрын

*Khorne:* A worthy trophy *Nurgle:* Too... Clean... Uurhgh *Tzeentch:* He's not in my plans?! *Slaanesh:* Notice me Senpai!!! *Emperor:* Damn plot armour. Where was mine?!

@scienceme9794 3 жыл бұрын

Nurgle would be too interested in Jurgen to notice Cain.

@werechicken1969 3 жыл бұрын

Cain literally has a slaaneshi deamon prince(ss) stalking him (he killed her when she was mortal) His battle record would probably impress even kharne and Tzeetnch is wondering just how in the warp he's survived so long.

@cid76 3 жыл бұрын

@@scienceme9794 Too bad that he is a blank like being anti AIDS for AIDS ;P

@internetzenmaster8952 3 жыл бұрын

*Gork, Mork, Malice:* _Sitting on the sidelines laughing with giant bowls of popcorn and tacos._

@Reddotzebra 3 жыл бұрын

@@cid76 He literally gave Cain the idea of using blessed serum to combat a zombie plague, so yes, very much so. (He survived getting bit since he's a blank.)

@TheMonkeygoneape 6 ай бұрын

only just started reading the books, probably my favourite character in 40k he's basically just Jack Sparrow but actually trusted with real authority for some reason