Am I Wrong for telling my husband the only way I will do a paternity test is if he schedules it?

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11 күн бұрын

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Am I wrong for telling my husband the only way I will agree to a paternity test is if he schedules it?
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Пікірлер: 76

@Karen-pw7yw 9 күн бұрын

I would tell him he’ll get the results at our divorce hearing.

@user-yg4yw2bp2k 9 күн бұрын

Not a bad suggestion😏

@edogawaconan9977 9 күн бұрын

Some people need more than words, why is your word more valuable than proof

@vanessamacneil5978 9 күн бұрын

@edogawaconan9977 Husband doesn't think she's been unfaithful, OP has never betrayed his trust. He stated he isn't questioning paternity, so there is absolutely no reason to schedule this test.

@laurenplancherczki1721 9 күн бұрын

He's too lazy to look up a phone number, how useless would he be once the baby comes? OP is a single parent either way

@GwenApMannanan 9 күн бұрын

It’s not laziness. It’s to make it look like she had doubts, not him, when he makes a legal move against her

@tohrurikku 9 күн бұрын

If the sister is so invested in this why did she not help him find the number and call? Honestly, the husband and his family sounds so lazy, and I hope OP uses it as an excuse to run, because this is probably going to be the first of many weird situations.

@GwenApMannanan 9 күн бұрын

It’s not laziness. It’s so he can use it for legal reasons later. If SHE schedules the test then it shows that SHE had doubts and he can accuse her of cheating and whatever else and use that as a reason for a divorce and why she shouldn’t get anything in the split. If HE schedules it, then it shows he doubted and won’t hold the same weight if he wants to maintain a mask of complete innocence

@merlinathrawes746 9 күн бұрын

I don't think they're lazy, but conniving. But I'll agree to the likelihood of more weird situations.

@EluraCorenBooks 8 күн бұрын

@@GwenApMannanan This is one of the few reasons I love that we have become a society of texting. I would text him the message of "You want this test, either schedule it yourself or shut up". Then when he texts back with the absolutely incriminating message that proves he is the AH, screen shot that crap. And get everything to an attorney for safe keeping. It's too easy for things to 'disappear' without 3rd party storage.

@solsticebaby 9 күн бұрын

You need to start protecting yourself, OP. Document EVERYTHING. And hold those boundaries. You did right in telling him that you'd consent but put the responsibility on him. That way you show that you've got nothing to hide But it's still also putting responsibility on him to make it happen and show if he really wants the test or not. But telling you that he wants one and then making it your responsibility to get one? That's a no. HE Is questioning. HE wants the test. HE says he just wants the reassurance. HE Can take 30 seconds and find a place to get one done.

@Peg__ 9 күн бұрын

My ExHusband did this to me. I saved myself for marriage and was pregnant the following month. After the wedding he dropped his mask and the abuse started; Accused me that it wasn't his kid. He baby-trapped me. Took me about a year after the baby was born before I could successfully escape. Twenty years later I'm still deconstructing the brainwashing the Catholic Church caused me (and my family) growing up, and healing from the trauma and abuse my Ex caused. I hope OP escapes her situation too. The love and trust for her husband has broken. From that point on, he is no longer the man you fell in love with; You look at them completely different.

@catbeara 9 күн бұрын

So happy for you that you escaped. ❤

@Goblue373 9 күн бұрын

Hubby is/has cheated and .wants to leave and would feel guilty about it if the baby was his.

@ladymorrigan5950 9 күн бұрын

Agreed.

@user-pz1tb1rn9z 9 күн бұрын

Run don't walk. Don't look back. Get away from him and whoever put this in his ear.

@kichieskrew4425 9 күн бұрын

If I were her, I would also be concerned about how he would treat the child once it is born, without confirmation of paternity.

@sallyjopatriot 9 күн бұрын

sister is the one in his ear.

@mangamegbe 9 күн бұрын

She’s still letting him off too light. You question my faithfulness you can either back up or you can get that test done in the divorce .

@JasmynSundayrose 9 күн бұрын

I think the husband has listened to many Reddit stories were the baby isn't the father's. That's probably we're that started. I would do the paternity test. At the same the results come in, I'd hand him divorce papers.

@cinderellaronda 9 күн бұрын

It's definitely someone in his ear

@queenreg7 9 күн бұрын

Probably the sister.

@cinderellaronda 9 күн бұрын

@@queenreg7 I think it's the Mom & Sister

@queenreg7 9 күн бұрын

@@cinderellaronda ridiculous. Let THEM make the appointment if he’s too lazy or conflicted to do so, then.

@cinderellaronda 9 күн бұрын

@@queenreg7 absolutely

@frigid4real 9 күн бұрын

DUSTY, HAPPY FATHERS DAY! YOU ARE A WONDERFUL MAN,

@nikwalters1029 9 күн бұрын

I'd also be concerned that he's falling down the 'incel' "it shouldn't mean anything to ask for a paternity test, the woman knows automatically it's hers, women should do the work and what you asked of them" rabbit hole many have fallen down. Either way, the root cause needs identified to find out what the actual problem with this relationship is. Either he's looking for a way out to make it her fault, someone is whispering in his ear undermining the relationship, he's showing new/true colors, or some mix of the three...PROBELM

@bethdaisey 9 күн бұрын

So…. If she has a paternity test while pregnant, don’t they have to pierce the sac? That could cause potential problems for the baby.

@LufutheLuckDragon Күн бұрын

No, they just draw some blood from the mom. After 9 weeks the father's dna is in the mother's bloodstream.

@ssamelion1sard914 9 күн бұрын

Think of the mind job he's doing to her. He questions paternity and stalls on making an appointment. No one deserves that kind of torture....

@churchsbiscuits 9 күн бұрын

Bored and letting that red pill think for him.

@Nione 9 күн бұрын

I sure hope she gets a divorce.

@carolyngrayston6889 9 күн бұрын

Baby's not born yet! What is this testing before baby is born?? Isn't it more difficult and more expensive prior to birth?? This is so dumb.

@OZARKMOON1960 9 күн бұрын

Just a guess here, having never been through any of this, but isn't it more dangerous to mom and baby to do it in utero?

@jambalie 9 күн бұрын

Yes, I've always heard that it is. They may have improved the tests in the last several years, but if definitely was considered much more risky in utero the last I heard

@LufutheLuckDragon Күн бұрын

They just draw some blood from the mom and do a cheek swab on the dad, it isn't super expensive or anything. After 9 weeks the father's dna is in the mother's bloodstream. No risk to the baby.

@hyrunnisa997 9 күн бұрын

I recommend she move out until she gets a better explanation, an apology, and possibly couples therapy? I don’t think divorce should be the first thing you do…especially with a baby on the way. but his behavior in the relationship needs to change for sure.

@westwitch6376 9 күн бұрын

Hand him divorce papers and tell him you hope he and sister are very happy together on their way to move into mommys house.

@jennabrazel7860 9 күн бұрын

he wants her to book the appointment then he can say she knew it wasn't his and that's why she booked the appointment. He wants a divorce and nothing to do with the kid

@user-wi2yc8qd4u 9 күн бұрын

NTA. To play devils advocate my state in the last 2 years made a law change. If there’s no paternity taken in the first 90 days and the parents happen to break up. The baby automatically goes to the mom and the dad has to go to several difficult hoops. Lots of people here now are doing them for (potential future custody battles). He just needs to be honest about why he wants one.

@madamBfG 9 күн бұрын

Every time Dusty channels the bizzo MIL voice in these stories, I lose it! 🤣🤣🤣 SO GOOD!! I may have to borrow this character voice when I tell my own stories about encountering people like this in the world. 😄

@merlinathrawes746 9 күн бұрын

NTA! OP, your response should have been that not only would you do a paternity test, but you would also speak to a lawyer to file for divorce, demand full custody of your child regardless of the paternity results as well as a hefty amount of child support and alimony. But he would STILL have to set up the paternity test appointment. As for the sister, if her brother is so damned incompetent that HE can't figure out how to schedule it, then the SISTER should do it for him if she's so bothered by it.

@debbiejamison3883 4 күн бұрын

I don't see this relationship coming back from this.

@tanyadelaney8455 9 күн бұрын

Amusing how HE wants her free labor. And thinks he's owed this, even when they're getting divorced. Sure lol... She'll take care of the divorce to. Then she can make sure he gets EVERYTHING he's entitled to. 🤣🤣🤣

@elizabethgruber4853 9 күн бұрын

A lot of states will offer a paternity test at the time of birth. So that could be an option since I don't see him making the appointment or letting it go. Sounds like someone is saying stuff to him and he doesn't want to tell her so he says he doesn't question her and if he makes the appointment it makes him look like a bad guy/jerk but if he guilts her into doing it (hence having his sister come "talk" to op) then he can save face in the situation

@cathybrookeburt2616 9 күн бұрын

They have been married & were trying for the baby, so I don't think his mom is the problem. I'm sur she wants grand kids. I say the guy is either a cheater himself or his sister or his brozo buddies have filled his head with crap. OP should not lift a finger to 'help prove her innocence'. It's all on him, but I would probably be rethinking my marriage. He IS accusing her of cheating. No other explanation.

@QueenOfTheZombieApocalypse 9 күн бұрын

Sounds like he is (hopefully) just kind of a dunce who listened to some bad vacíe either online of from friends - has now realized he was being dumb but is refusing to admit it. Bad but not relationship ending if he can stop doubling down

@DragonLady8905 9 күн бұрын

If I were OP, I would tell him I would make the appt if and only if he will tell me exactly why he is questioning the paternity of this child and provide absolute proof that he has a right to question me. If it is only his mom and/or sister buzzing in his ear, he can tell them to mind their own business. If he says no to any or all of that, he can make the damn appt himself and to never bring up the subject again!

@OZARKMOON1960 9 күн бұрын

OP needs to find friends or family to stay with for a bit. Leave him to his own devices for a while. Let him get used to life on his own and see how he likes it. If he cannot even be arsed to look up a phone number - or hell, even call her OB's office for a referral - then he is going to be useless until the kid can talk in full sentences. She might be better off as a single parent, continuing to work and supplement that with child support payments from this maroon. That is how he can get his paternity test - let the court order one while determining her alimony and support payments!

@TrishasMotorhomeMadness 4 күн бұрын

Girl what! Leave his ass give him the paternity with divorce papers😮

@MAJORQUEENBITCH101 8 күн бұрын

They should automatically do paternity tests at birth. My sister did one for all of her kids at her exs behest. Turns out the youngest daughter was he new husbands baby. But her and her ex didn’t break up till she was 3. She ended up paying HIM child support for all but her youngest son who she had after married her now husband. She tried getting it for only the first 2 but since she put her ex on the birth certificate of the youngest girl she had to pay him child support for her as well.

@bronwynbrin 9 күн бұрын

I would be questioning the 'everything' SIL apparently knows. There's more going on t

@NicoleBrown-oc7je 8 күн бұрын

You need to find out what is behind this - the bridge hasbeen crossed . NTA regarding arranging the test though.Maybe SIL can hold her brothers hand while he learns how to look up a phone number and make an appointment.

@kmarti63 7 күн бұрын

Who made him question this?

@erauprcwa 9 күн бұрын

I think I've heard several variations of this story...

@Chilie5678 9 күн бұрын

Account has been deleted, so it looks like we aren't ever gonna now the outcome.

@juliedyanneal-rihani1455 9 күн бұрын

He can’t schedule his own appointments? OP you are having a baby with a baby.

@laurakerschenbaum4079 9 күн бұрын

NTA. Also, this OP is pregnant now. She'll have to have the amniotic fluid tested, right? It's a major procedure for her, I think he just has a buccal swab on his end. For someone who "Isn't questioning paternity" this is a tremendously big ask. I wonder if he's been secretly questioning his own fertility and then she becomes pregnant; and he's suddenly questioning whether she slept with someone else and that's why she's pregnant. Dusty is right though...there is no putting this to rest without actual closure or possibly divorce. He'd better spill the beans, whatever those beans are and tell her what the hell he's questioning.

@LynnMcbeth-hp4tb 9 күн бұрын

I don't care who is "in his ear" he's a grown man and husband who just accused his wife of having an affair and having another man's baby with no proof what so ever. I'd give the paternity test ( because it is legally accepted) and hand him divorce papers. See how much he likes child support payments. I'd divorce him regardless, throwing around accusations and being too lazy to do the work, that's not a man I want to be with.

@teoraleauanae61 9 күн бұрын

He’s cheating. Leave.

@sarahstalcup9621 6 күн бұрын

Divorce.

@SushiEpidemic 6 күн бұрын

Is there an update to this story???

@zimmersdreamer 9 күн бұрын

Not excusing his behavior in the least but… one perspective may be that he is from money and she is not. He may have mom, dad or lawyers in his ear insisting on the test. He doesn’t sound like he has much of a backbone or work ethic so I wouldn’t put it past them to demand the test. SIL may also be from that money and that’s why she thinks it’s acceptable to ask for it. It’s no excuse to be that ignorant at their ages but if that’s how they were raised?

@Rainbowofthefallen 9 күн бұрын

🤍

@k70freeman 9 күн бұрын

I would like to remind people about a woman lying about a crime because she had a nightmare about a cake, She had her brother and SO looking for a fake intruder for over 30 minutes at night, While she complaining about a cake not being real. Women get to protect themselves but not men.

@GwenApMannanan 9 күн бұрын

That situation has nothing to do with this one.

@k70freeman 9 күн бұрын

@@GwenApMannanan it dose. #1 People lie. #2 I'm going to use internet logic, by saying SEXSIM. If it 's woman people will go _ it's women's natural psychic ability, it's the man fault, he should be understanding, Find proof by any means, His feelings and boundaries don't matter when looking for evidence and etc. Man - insecure, tell him to get over it, The biggest BS Abuse is okay for women to do

@moimeself1088 9 күн бұрын

And this has what to do with the price of bread? 🤔

@k70freeman 9 күн бұрын

@@moimeself1088 no. This hurts real victims. This why people have trust issues. She lied about being a victim of a crime. Op typed it out that ,the worst moment was the cake not being real". Not betraying thier trust. Not making them think she could've been killed or hurt. A big red flag, everyone over looked. Op never said what did she about the person. Op said she a face. She said if she told them details or not. That could get a innocent person hurt, ruin his life or worse. Don't say word limit. She went on a rant about a cake. op kept repeating " i really want the cake. I did I mention, you don't under stand I know it was fake but really really wanted the cake". Yet people go " why don't men trust thier wife/SO? ".

@zimmersdreamer 9 күн бұрын