Thank you for watching! It’s a bit longer than our traditional uploads, so sit back, relax, and enjoy the deep dive! 🖤 sorry for the late upload, it took FOREVER to process but we got there! Be sure to stick around for both original songs of mine at the end if you want to:) What should we react to next??

Ren "My songs don't have hooks for the radio" Ren "Hold my beer".

Starting to realise that falling down the Ren rabbit hole is a lot like therapy, each song hits from a different angle ,but leaves you thinking . Your song was a great finish to the story well done you.

Great reaction, I'm starting to run out of tears. I lost my dad to suicide, this hits hard but I really needed it. Ren's music has helped me heal in ways I can't begin to describe. ✌❤💪

REN was just on twitch streaming and offering people support since this song as been tough for a lot of people. ❤ He said the first part of this song was just about him, and that was going to be it, but he never felt like it was complete. After his interview with Knox, where he talked about Joe, he went home and sat in front of his piano, and just wrote whatever came to him and that’s how the ending was done. Thank you for your vulnerability Ian. I have struggled with sui*idal ideations. Of course I don’t like to hear that others suffer, but it is helpful to know that I’m not alone. ❤ btw 🔥 songs at the end.

I've listened to this song and watched at least a half dozen reactions and I still get incredibly emotional at the end. It doesn't get easier to listen to.

This is a hard listen. Wasn't sure if I was into it at first but, as usual with Ren, the more I hear it the better it gets. Class piece of work again, unsurprisingly.

Both your songs, both Sky and Sail boat were a perfect ending to this reaction. I love your reactions, the fact that you take the time to stop and talk about a phrase, an instrument or similar gives just that extra something. Thanks Ian ❤

The line " the distance is my plaster cast" resonates with me massively on a pre and post the deed level. 2 friends in the last 2 years that I hadn't spoken to much before combined with being away from where I lived and therefore constant reminders. Ren doesn't realise the medicine that he is. The thought channel to save you having to think it yourself. Im sorry about your friend and im glad you are here Big love everyone

Love the reaction...as always. He said on his Twitch stream today (06/09) that he's gonna be recording a LIVE version of this when he gets back to the UK soon...but it's gonna be COMPLETELY different to this version...can't wait. By the way..."Double Dutch" is a UK slang way of saying "Chaos" or "Gobbledygook" Keep them coming brother...we're here with you and for you...stay safe

Double Dutch is also British slang for gibberish. So it’s also saying he sees this beautiful complicated pattern of nature, but it’s also gibberish and not understandable

the outro is about his best friend Joe Hughes, who committed suicide in 2010

We're all so glad that it was never your time to leave. ❤ I think this song, and the conversations it is provoking right across yt at the moment, will help others stay. As a point of interest, something might be described as a 'hatchet job' if it has been done really badly. Like really mangled and made a mess of. So he's using it as a double for the s harm and the fact that he coped with it all in such a bad way for a while, and bringing in hatchet to work with the 'cut away my bitterness'. A very clever and intricate way to say a lot without saying it at all.

Oh man, I’ve watched countless reactions now and I’ve shed tears on every single one of them. I’m glad your friend got to you in time. Really glad your still here man. Thank you for taking the proper time to analyze this very important song.

Story and context to this song: "Today I want to write something beautiful and eloquent but I’ve been staring at my computer screen for the past 10 minutes blankly. So I’ll just write. Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday. I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again. This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary. Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe. Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then. On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left. Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five. As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late. Joe’s body was never found. Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night. When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe. As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family. A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink” That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since. My first ever album I named Freckled Angels in tribute of one of the best people I ever knew. Skip forward some years. I’d been sitting on this song I wrote a few years ago. It always felt a little incomplete. It was going to be my next release, but I was dreading it because of this feeling of incompletion. I decided, very last minute, to do something about it. I sat by my piano, and the rest of the song fell out of me. I hadn’t thought about Joe in a little while, and the song initially wasn’t going to be about him, but the words all fell out of me. I wrote and recorded a whole 2 minutes extra, recording each part as I wrote it. Tears spewing out of my eyes pretty much the whole time, and decided not to do my usual thing of perfecting each line, I just recorded every line as it came."

Double dutch can also mean muddled up, unintelligible.

Glad that you managed to get it uploaded😊 loved the reaction 😊 peace ✌️

Heartfelt reaction that really cut deep. Thank you. Also thank you for showing emotions and not shy away from it. Because that is also the purpose of this song, to let it all out, talk about it, lay it bare. To heal and feel yourself again. Bottling up our feelings and emotions will only lead to bad things..and in the worst cases, also to suicide. Especially men are impacted by more cases of suicide and I strongly believe it is also because of that "bottling up" of emotions. So long story short great one. Like always. :)

Great reaction! I really enjoy you. You’re Musicality, intelligence, and empathy is so powerful. And thanks for sharing your story s well!❤

I may never get through this song without crying. Thanks for the insightful reaction!

Best reaction I've seen. I hope Ren sees this so that he feels seen by others that can relate with what he's feeling. P.s Sky is great too keep it up 👏

I've read that "Double Dutch" means "gibberish" in the U.K.

What is amazing is how vulnerable Ren was at when he wrote this and created this video plus currently releasing to it all of us. 2nd is Ren’s loss of his childhood when he lost his innocence and feeling of immortality. He reminds me of the Maestro Tuomas Holopainen who composed most of Nightwish songs, poetry in his lyrics, and music. One theme Tuomas has is Dead Boy meaning a loss of childhood. Ren previous work seems to add meaning and us understand this video. For example, changing face of Ren walking through the cityscape suggests “eternal dancing” between darkness and light in one’s thoughts. Finally, while emphasizing the pain Ren’s friend Joe was going through also showing how hurt he was by the choice his friend Joe made along with the guilt of just possibly missing getting to Joe in time to save him or even to say goodbye plus Joe’s body was never found for closure. In other words, the choices one makes affects more than oneself. As Aurora has sung ‘Let the River Run’.

I think the whole react community is going to need to take a deep breath and reset before business as usual again after this drop. Liked you on FUQ Boyz, so I am glad to migrate over to see your analysis. Keep creating!

Double Dutch can also mean incomprehensible talk/gibberish etc. 😊

On his Twitch 6/9/23 Ren said that he lost another mate to a rock climbing accident and then another one also by suicide that same year. He didnt feel those as deeply because he was still numb from losing Joe. Thank you for sharing your own experience and I am greatful to your friend who was there for you.

Thank you Ian, Salubrious and very heartfelt reaction, we all have our stories. enjoy your content, and agree Ren is providing us with a "Beatles" moment, the whole world is becoming aware, #RenRabbithole has led me to many more like yourself, Uplifting the rest of us....!!! Cheerz mobz Jase from Richmond, Melbourne, Australia

For me this song was speaking for the thought process that leads to su*cide, then it flips to speak for the loss & grief for the ones left behind. For anyone thinking about leaving, I hope they listen to this song & just take a minute to reconsider ❤

Please do not apologise for the length of your reaction - this song and the themes are important ones and need to be talked about. I’m having to drip feed the reactions to this as it hits so hard. Love the duality of this song - the two sides to something that so many people are dealing or have dealt with. Thank you for your honesty and your vulnerability in your reaction - another great one.

My heart just breaks when he starts getting emotion! I can feel what he feels....Ren has that ability to make you feel

what an awesome lyric breakdown!! cuz you think of much more than i do. i appreciate your bright young mind.

i feel the lyric about double dutch cause if you think about it when you're doing double dutch the ropes tend to make what looks like an infinity sign so he could be seeing it in the fibronacci sequence and double dutch as in infinity? infinity as in never ending. so the pattern of the chaos and feelings he feels are never going to end. maybe

I wonder how many Olympic sized swimming pools could be filled with the tears of almost everyone who has seen and heard this since it dropped yesterday?

This may be one of Ren's finest creations! It's powerful, raw, visually breathtaking, emotional lyrics, brave and brings awareness to a taboo subject! The whole song is a masterpiece! The end part is heart wrenching! Thank you for your reaction! Hugs to you❤❤love your song too❤❤

Thank you Ian, what a brilliantly honest video. I have absolutely no doubt the sentiment and subject matter behind Ren's lyricism hits home and hits hard to many people, myself included. Im really enjoying getting to know you as an artist and as an individual through your channel, keep on keeping on! Big love from the UK

This is absolutely the best reaction so far.

I’ve just seen in this reaction that Ren’s face, at the end of the second verse, flickers to the Terminator- thought tendencies of terminating oneself- and to fight off/resist these intrusive terminator thoughts. Love his art so much. Great reaction, you check lyrics really well. I’ve subbed💚🇦🇺💫

Ian your perception and analysis are phenomenal. I am so happy that you gave this song the time and attention that it deserves. Look forward to yours and Rens interview.

"its braver to stay..." so true

As always, amazing reaction. Sailboat is my favorite song of yours I’ve checked out so far. I’ve been jamming it for a while now. Sky, just wow, phenomenal. I don’t think this is one that I’m going to rock on the daily, but along with Su!cide, it’s definitely going to be one of the songs I’ll use as therapy when those dark times creep up. Also, thanks for being willing to be vulnerable and share some of your story and I’m glad your friend made it to you and you’re still here with us. I had a close friend dealing with traumatic brain injury that didn’t directly commit suicide, but was looking for a way out and ended up getting triggered by some of his neighbors that knew his condition and the cops were called. Even though he wasn’t posing a threat to anyone, they shot and killed him in front of his family. He had called me that morning to come hang out, but I couldn’t make it over that day and even though I’ve mostly made peace with it in the years since, I still struggle at times with thoughts of how things could have turned out differently if I had just made some time to go hang out with him that day.

love the long reaction! you had so much to say and contribute to the conversation about this song, it is so appreciated ❤

I could be wrong, yet when Ren sings “falling thru the cracks in the night sky”, I think of his friend, Joe, jumping off that high bridge and falling thru the cracks in the night sky to his end. Again, I’m not afraid to be wrong on that….it’s just a thought!

Welcome to the REN-egades Your an Official Member Now Congrats

Incredibly insightful Ian. Glad you’re still here ❤

This was a beautiful reaction ❤

The second part was written just a couple weeks ago. After the Knox Hill interview where he first talked about the details of Joe's death and how he was only a couple minutes too late to stop him.

As always an amazing analysis! Still want to see a collaboration between you and Ren! Think it would be immense! You have similar experiences and ways of thinking and writing. You 2 could make an epic track together!

FYI Ren 8 days ago Today I want to write something beautiful and eloquent but I’ve been staring at my computer screen for the past 10 minutes blankly. So I’ll just write. Today, the 1st of June is my friend Joe’s birthday. I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again. This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary. Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe. Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then. On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left. Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five. As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late. Joe’s body was never found. Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night. When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe. As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family. A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink” That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since. My first ever album I named Freckled Angels in tribute of one of the best people I ever knew. Skip forward some years. I’d been sitting on this song I wrote a few years ago. It always felt a little incomplete. It was going to be my next release, but I was dreading it because of this feeling of incompletion. I decided, very last minute, to do something about it. I sat by my piano, and the rest of the song fell out of me. I hadn’t thought about Joe in a little while, and the song initially wasn’t going to be about him, but the words all fell out of me. I wrote and recorded a whole 2 minutes extra, recording each part as I wrote it. Tears spewing out of my eyes pretty much the whole time, and decided not to do my usual thing of perfecting each line, I just recorded every line as it came. During this campaign I will be raising money for the RNLI, the group of brave men and women who spent hours tirelessly looking for Joe after the night he went missing. I'll also be donating 50% of the profit on all copies of the 'Freckled Angels' album directly to Joes family as a nice surprise gift. I will include links to the RNLI donation page below where 100% of the money will go to support them, I will be travelling to the UK later this month to make a music video, and have carved out a couple of days where I will travel to my home town on the isle of Anglesey to present the royal national lifeboat institution with a cheque of all the money raised. Turn on notifications for the video here: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/pJl6gdeXzpq6kmQ.html Raising money for RNLI : www.justgiving.com/page/ren-gill-1685546882254?Link&/ren-gill-1685546882254& Freckled Angels album: renmakesmerch.com/products/freckled-angels-cd Presave Suic*de: found.ee/ren-suic-de 3.6K Reply

I'm so glad you're still here! Great reaction to a great song. Much love 🧡🧡🧡

Yesterday, my tears were flowing. Today, I am okay.

Beautiful analysis. Some rhings warrant a deeper look.

Ian your so talented. Listening to your song hit me even harder than REN’s song. I’m a mom of 2 sons around your age and it broke my heart. I’m so glad you were able to use your music as an outlet. I’m glad you are here to share your talent with us. You have so much potential, I see a lot of great things in your future. I enjoy your in depth reactions. Keep going with your music, your reaction channel and anything else your passionate about. ❤

This song has makes everyone cry, i have listened and watched this to many tines. It gets you thinking and analysing my thaughts and feeling. Which is what this song does the more i listen the less emotional i get but more i heal my mind

You have to check out his comment on the song. Explains so much about it.

Great reaction - RIp Joe 🙏 many thanks love and respect from the UK 👍👍👍👍

Thank you for the reaction - you’re so eloquent and great at analysing 😊 If something’s Double Dutch in the U.K. it means you don’t understand something. We all need a hug after this

The day Ren made the whole Internet cry

Love what you said Ian that most Narcissists don't call themselves that, and that depressed people worry they are as they feel selfish but you're absolutely right, its not selfishness its that they dont have capacity at that time to care, they can barely even care for themselves. I feel so sad for men who have this idea that they shouldn't cry, should be "strong" and hold it together etc - it has to be strongly connected to the reason suicide is higher in men. I hope with the music Ren pens which so often reaches deep into the darkest places in our souls and pulls out what needs bringing into to the Light, and as we see more reactors actually allowing their emotional vulnerability to be seen (and commenters in the community also talking about all these thoughts and feelings that make us human), it will become more acceptable and normal for all human beings to express themselves and be authentic. Its part of the human condition the need to feel Heard - that both validates our existence and the sense of belonging amongst our tribe. Loved your song Sky, a great pairing to Ren's track and I did listen again to Sail Boat after - I really like that "that was then and this is now" - it illustrates again that if we manage to not take that permanent solution to a temporary feeling or circumstance, great things can happen that we would have missed out on. On Ren's YT community tab he's posted that a friend of his once said to him "Yes, suicide ends the potential of things getting worse. But it also ends the potential for you to make things better" and that really struck a cord with me

Always so impressed how you can break down the lyrics so quickly and well.

Im all Ren'd out for the day, but I look forward to checking this out tomorrow .

I love such a detailed breakdown and how real you are. Never apologize for how you feel. ❤This one broke me. I cried …this song really hit me. 😢

Fucken epic reaction homie,there's authentic and there's the ones for only the clicks..... your as real as it gets,very knowledgeable in music and a young cat ,that's awesome and so much appreciation to your reactions and the time you take...the real mother fuckers show emotions. #TrueMenShowTears

So true about the narcissistic comment. If you ask yourself if you’re a narcissist you are probably not.

I think you might be interested in a song called Michael by Anna Bates, it’s pretty underground and folksy, but I think the spoken word aspect of the song would really interest you. Also as a side, your ability to instantly understand and read the lyrics on the side is part of why this channel is so special, most people are surface level in that aspect.

I’m late to watching your reaction and the REN train… also introduced through Black Pegasus. I think was need to get REN to come to Denver to an intimate venue. I’d be there in a heartbeat. Your song is great too! Thanks for sharing!!

Very powerful song - another amazing reaction and thank you for your analysis I personally think your the best at doing it. Your song is incredible - killer track and lyrics ❤

I like the way he highlights both sides and the pain that comes through of the one left behind hopefully will give pause for thought.

Great reaction and I for one am glad you are still with us. This so is so powerful and it beats my heart up too. Ren definitely made something special.💜

The video visual looks to me like a layering of timelines with cyborg and tech flowing in and out, vehicles and people phasing in and out with other times and things. Great take on this video. New sub. It's definitely a message that needs to be shared and discussed. It's more prevalent than people may think, and sharing that pain with others helps to ease the burden. ❤

Your reaction was awesome. The ending is so powerful. I have thoughts of suicide and I know how much damage I would do and I often think of the ripper effects of that act. I’m seeking help in therapy now. It’s a lifelong battle. I’m tired of battling so I’m fighting for my life. I promised my husband to fight and it’s not his problem to fix. He feels like he failed me. You’re very talented in your music. I love you put it out there. I’m glad you’re here. You bring joy to my day.

Your analysis is excellent, and i love how deeply you get into the songs you're breaking down. It makes for very fascinating insight. Keep going strong!

My read on the Fibonacci sequence and Double Dutch line; the Fibonacci represents the the downward spiral, and the Double Dutch, I visualize the two jump ropes forming the infinity symbol. Representing an end, or a continuation, seeing us all in the dichotomy of spiraling, or carrying on.

Your songs were fire, by the way

Really enjoyed your track Sky. Appropriately placed at the end of this reaction. Thank you so much for your insight and analysis.

The visuals really gives me A-Ha Take on Me crossed with Love Death and Robots…

Don't apoligize (seriously, i'm completely the same, but you apoligze too much (as I do...)), it's long overdue that showing emotion should be normalized. Thanks for the reaction, I enjoyed it

Been crying since this song dropped. Missing loved one's on the other side

Great reaction, love your songs too

Almost 4k subs holy crap. I love that people are finding you. 85k views when I watched it. That’s freaking awesome.

I'm glad you're still around brother. Nice renaction, new subscriber.

The fibonacci double dutch line makes me think of wave forms and sound waves and mystical, eternal things. (the jump rope makes wave patterns, the sound of the ropes hitting the ground...)

Keep sharing your art with us, it’s beautiful❤

Thank you Ian Thank you for sharing REN Take care man Daz Australia

If you haven't already i think you would enjoy Ren's latest Twitch stream.Too long for a reaction but was a great watch and for a lot of it he was with 2 of his pals Sam and Josh.Also dropped a lot of what the future holds and was a lot of fun.

As always, a great reaction! I definitely like that it was a longer reaction, love hearing your thoughts and analysis. Can’t wait for the next one! ❤

He has 3 great interviews out with 2 YT reactors & Hawkins, his family life is good, parents divorced, but he see's them he has 1 sister, people should watch them, he's a very down to earth smart just a great hearted guy, he tells lots in these interviews & his illness was the worst exp . loosing his BF. maybe try watching them, ketch up who he really is, all 3 interviews are awesome shows how smart beyond his years he is, ur normal average guy, with a great talent, Multi talented !!!

Great reaction Ian! 👌 Such a deep and emotional song, loved your interpretations of the lyrics and visuals which has made me think about the much more deeper and more obscure elements of this song that I missed.

The end of this was added after Rens interview with Knox Hill. Also I wanted to say sorry for the loss of your friend and I am glad that your friend found you in time as you are very loved, wanted and needed in this world! 🫶🖤

I love your reactions Ian, you are in touch with the full depth of emotions and people! Lots of love to you 💖

Thank you Ian for an amazing analysis and breakdown. I truly appreciate how deep you go. Much love, and have a great day!

Love your reaction and breakdown ❤ I also love the song at the end 💚

Brilliant, Ian. So insightful.❤

Great reaction. I know I listened to it before as well as your songs; but, this time your songs hit harder. Amazing!

Great reaction. I love your more in depth break downs of the songs.

Great reaction and great insight! Wish you all the best. Respect!

Brilliantly insightful reaction. I really hope Ren sees this one. Also your music is great.

Great reaction video … your song at the end was perfect ending … thank you for sharing ❤

Treading on the tracks in the night time. Tread on railroad tracks, the tread on his shoes walking down the long treacherous road he's endured. But it could also be his music tracks. His pain, illness, truth and loss. He said he has been sitting on this song about Joe for awhile and not finishing or releasing- Lyric "It never really felt like the right time". He is staring face to face with the pig as a reflection of himself - "Narcissistic, can't keep a secret". The rest of the verse his mirrored image is reflected "Skin felt counterfeit silicone rubber. Bruises my sister, skin pop the blister" (cyst/-er) Cyst is an encapsulated collection of the constant replication and shedding of skin cells that have turned inward upon itself) "Won't stay down cause my body purges, Useless my mother can't keep down my supper" He's telling his mom there's no point in making him dinner it will only make him sick. He has MCAS (Mast Cell Activation Syndrome) that causes an anaphylactic trigger response and floods the body with histamines. His MCAS affects his GI tract causing him to have a very limited diet. He can only tolerate a few vegetables and meats without having an allergic reaction. They can still cause him the inability to eat anything at all at times. So his body rejects his food by painfully purging. "Double Dutch" is a cockney rhyming slang language. In UK London "secret" language that sounds like gibberish to people that don't know how to speak it.

Great reaction Ian. It was just as long as it needed to be. Thanks for sharing too 🤗 Loved your tracks too. So glad there was a second song after Sky 😊

Don’t apologise for having or sharing emotions. It’s a deeply impactful song and video. Ren is allowing us to feel vulnerable and to embrace it