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I’ll say one thing, military is a master organization at psychology. Humiliation is one of the best deterrents to undesired behavior.

Army here. We were being smoked outside at about 0300, I dont remember what we did, someone probably had a dream that was too happy or something. While we were being smoked, there was a hurricane going full blast so we couldnt hear the commands. The DS got mad and told us to ask the hurricane to go away. When we failed, we were told to scream at it. When we failed, we were told to chase it. When we failed, we were told to mop all the water up. When we failed, he took us on a run across base to hug every tree we could find and apologize for being a waste of oxygen until it was time for morning PT.

When it came to "Mr. Fluffy", I couldn't breathe, lmao

When my older brother was in the Army, Gulf War 1 and Somalia, he told me and my other siblings how a Private had burned the bacon, the eggs, and biscuits. As punishment, the Captain forced that Private to eat all the food he burned, and to eat any additional burned food for the rest of the month (even if he didn’t burn it). The others would intentionally burn a small portion of the food to reserve for that Private.

Mr. Fluffy and Grouch got me dead

A Specialist (E-4) was goofing around and drew a star on a piece of Duck tape and wore it as a joke rank (a star is 1-star General). It looked absurd and no one would believe that it was a real rank. A Sargent saw this, suppressed a laugh, and made him write a 500-word essay on the US Army regulation about impersonating an officer and what the punishment would be......... He then graded it.

I hope that guy brought Mr Fluffy home with him

When i was an instuctor we had some problems with motivation regarding PT... So i motivated everyone by making them shout "more please" after each pushup. Since they asked so nicely... We lost count somewhere at 200 i think, but they didnt care at all. They just wanted to do more pushups.

When I was in AIT, the job training in the army, I once made the mistake of comparing one of our teachers mustache to Hitler's. So this teacher printed out a portrait of Hitler and on it wrote a detailed comparison explaining how their mustaches were nothing alike. I had to carry this around with me everywhere and any time an instructor asked about it, I had to take it out and read the note in it's entirety.

Dude the Mr. Fluffy one had me dying- She just gave him a pet!

Man, this takes me back to Ship 9 in Great Lakes in the winter of 2010 when an Einstein in our ship decided to sneak a lipton green ice tea bottle back from chow. Well, Chief finds it in his bunk, and before he smokes us, he tells him he has to drink it all. Well, Einstien takes it in one quick gulp. Dumbfounded look on the Cheifs face promts this numbnuts to respond "Cheif Petty Officer, I don't have a gag reflex!" Well Cheif responds "I'm sure someone in this ship is going to take full advantage of that tonight, recruit princess von deepthroat" we all lost it, they smoked us hard, but damn every NCO was laughing their ass off with us. Fucking glorious.

Bro this guy has the BEST vocals

I’ve heard so many funny stories about the marines from a friend of mine. A lot of horror stories too. But my favourite story was when she tricked a bunch of guys into behaving. This particular group of guys (about 7) were known lovingly as “the dumbass squad” because there was no end to their stupidity. One day these geniuses of humanity (palpatine take notes) decided to tie a string to the trigger of an automatic assault rifle and tie it to a post in the middle of a fenced in area, the idiot version of Russian roulette. How none of them died is a miracle inandofitself. My friend had each of them in the medical tent (she was a nurse, Vietnam), and told them if they stopped being such morons every female nurse there would give them lapdances (or something close to it). Theses boys were so doped up on pain meds they agreed willingly but when they asked for their dances my friend pretended to know nothing but said “well, if you promised, marines honor, gotta keep your word. No more stupid s*it.” Most of them didn’t do anything stupid again, one of them couldn’t help himself and pantsed an Army guy, not know he was a colonel. The army guy thought it was funny, but ooooh was this boy in trouble. Friend never did say what happened to him.

At my first duty station my team leader and I had to drop off some paperwork to the Infantry Battalion HQ. Outside the building there was this really skinny kid moving rocks by hand. We asked what's that all about? They say he failed a physical training test. The whole summer this poor kid moved rocks from one side of the building to the other. The next time I saw him he looked like Captain frigging America and he never failed anything ever again.

I didn't expect the military to have people belting out lyrics like that.

When my previous step-dad was in the navy, he had a tendency to mouth off to his COs, which caused him and his platoon to be transferred to a new base every year like clockwork... one day, he told one of his superiors that they were "too fat to do squat", so his platoon had a surprise PT the next day... he was berated for being "too slow" and ended up being discharged for being too overweight to be considered fit for duty... karma at its finest!

The fluffy one has my cackling 🤣

This is, by far, my most favorite video on this channel since I started watching your videos.

One guy I that was in my basic training did something stupid (can’t remember what) so the corporal ordered him to March around to very tree in the area in front of the battalion and “apologise for wasting its oxygen”

How can you miss something so fluffy 😂

My team leader in Afghanistan had me carry around a full sandbag and talk to everyone the way you would if you were talking over a military radio. This was because I messed up speaking over the radio one to many times. I can laugh about it now 16 years later, not so fun at the time.

Was in the Special Forces during the Vietnam War. During a big inspection in Formation for a bunch of officers. But they were late so our Sargents made us go on the yard and pull weeds in the hot sun. Soon one guy told the Sargents that there were more weeds than grass. So the Sargent made us pull up the grass instead. Took 30 minutes for the officers to show up.

1.) While at USCG boot camp I was on fire watch with other shipmates on the same deck from other Companies when we saw another recruit flopped to the deck with his piece aiming at one of the LCC offices. In our confusion he got up, flopped to the deck again aiming at the other office (this was during lights out). Down the passageway another LCC was leaving his office and demanded what the recruit was doing. He snaps into PoA explaining, "I am no longer a United States Coast Guardsman. I am an Army Ranger sniping for reversion!". The LCC smirked telling him to carry on. He bolted to the other side of the deck sliding in front of another office. 2.) A shipmate in my sister Company kept messing up the time. So he had to stand under the bell on the yardarm at the end of the parade field yelling out the time --- "It is now fifteen hundred thirty hours!" the hit the bell with a hammer. 3.). Two fellow shipmates couldn't keep their bearing by laughing so they were ordered to stand on either side on my squad bay laughing and pointing at everyone who went by. 4.) There was a shipmate who couldn't keep track of his piece. He was given a swab for MoA. "Left swab, huh, Right swab, huh!" 5.). Out in the fleet a fellow shipmate was being disrespectful to the OOD. My Section was coming off our watch while his was relieving ours. About thirty minutes later he was running bow to stern yelling to find the mail buoy in the middle of the Caribbean. 6.). Sadly he didn't learn his lesson so when he was on another watch he was going up and down the officer's quarters when a female LTJG asked him what he was doing. He replied, "Ma'am, I looking for fallopian tubes.". He almost got into trouble but she realized he being punished.

Not my personal story, but from someone who used to be close to me; we'll call her *S.* She was in USCG Basic Training. She also has a very high, squeaky voice. Like, the kind where you'd recommend she should gargle with WD-40. Whatever you're imagining right now, it isn't enough. When they were sounding off and the CCs told everyone, "MORE ENTHUSIASM", they'd lean over to her and quietly tell her, *"S.* ... less enthusiasm." So *S.* was at medical one day and, since she wasn't there for roll, another girl in her company tried sounding off with her best impersonation of her high, squeaky voice. Well, that did *not* go over well. "WHAT WAS THAT!? I KNOW THAT WAS NOT *S.* DON'T YOU KNOW THAT HEARING *S.'s* VOICE MAKES A CC WANT TO JUMP OUT THE NEAREST 3RD STORY WINDOW!?" So she ended up having to do many push-ups and/or many laps for that stunt, I forget which.

I've not got the constitution for military work and these stories make it just that more clear.

the last one is when you know that its a punishment

8:27 floppa like de fish

Story 19 is nuts, I'll see myself out

The worst punishment i got was when the drill sergent made me listen to the radio because i was singing in formation. That's when you get into the push-up position but on your elbows with your hands under your chin. It's almost like a 1950s kid listening to the long ranger show. Left hand forward to adjust the volume and right hand forward to adjust the tuner.

06:32- I hope Mr. Fluffy became that training unit's mascot.

The military funeral for the armadillo and replacing the summer air with winter had me weezing😂

During AIT I witnessed this fellow soldier stepped on a grasshopper in front of the drill sergeant. He was told to bury it in a 6×6×6 ft grave. After he had finished the drill sergeant asked him if he had given it last rights private replied negative. The drill sergeant told him to dig it up and give it last rights then rebury it

My dad was going through the Panama Canal in 1969, on his way to his third tour in Vietnam. Since it would take a while, everyone was given a 24-hour pass. Well, he ended up getting bombed on Panamanian rum and shacking up with a local. He had to be back on board by 0700. He wakes up at 0650, realizes he has to be back on board in ten minutes. The local had a motor scooter. So they got on it, and she hauled ass to the end of the canal, he got back on board barely ten minutes before the ship exited into the Pacific. He got confined to the ship for seven days. Well, that's how long it took to get from Panama to Hawai'i, so in his words "where the hell was I gonna go?" I'll never forget that one, Dad. RIP, I miss you so much.

This happened to me. I was back talking an E-6 about something as an E-3 (more just trying to be funny rather than an asshole). Definitely stepped out of my lane on one sentence and he got so pissed he told me to finish my 32oz water bottle, then fill it with acorns. They happened to be the small acorns too and it took me half an hour to do it. Never got myself into a situation like that again I can tell you that.

I was in basic training, my platoon was matched to the guard room, where the regimental police work and do work from there. We had a Provo Sgt come out the guard room and give and tell us in the army he is the police. Guy standing next to me spat on the floor. The sgt goes over to him, asks his name and tells him to pick it up. So for the next 10 min while we get a brief from this guy, the recruit next to me was kneeling down trying to pick up his spit

7:58 dude I hope he embraced that nickname like the clones in starwars.

My grandfather, a paratrooper who's last name is Ryan go figure, told me this story about how he learned never to complain about anything in the army: he was sweeping up his barracks with a ratty old broom that was falling apart literally as he was sweeping and was thinking to himself that he wont be able to do a good job this way and he's gonna get in trouble. So as his sergeant is passing by, without thinking he tells him that the broom is no good and asks for another one. As he's saying this he realized that he has made a grave mistake, that he just complained about something to his squad leader and he distinctly remembers not having permission to bitch about anything. So my grandfather braces himself and fully expects his sergeant to get up in his face, but instead against all probabilities the sergeant just says "Sure, wait just a minute" and walks away. He comes back after a bit and hands my grandfather a toothbrush and say "Here, this one's in pristine condition. Use this." And that's how Private Ryan learned to never complain about anything in the army.

I had this one friend I made online, he in the army when I met him, one day we were just chilling in discord voice chat and then the fire alarm went off, I can hear it thru his mic, I heard his headset dropped and silent, apparently one of his Sargent "lady" burnt some bacon setting off the fire alarm, he didn't want to go into detail but he says it sucks afterwards, man I laugh so hard

When I (38f) was in basic for air force 18 yrs ago, we were required to walk to the shower in our bay naked with a towel over our shoulder and shower shoes to make things faster. There were 60 women that needed to shower and we only had 5 minutes once we entered the shower bay.

My brother said a Sargent would mark a pebble and throw it. Then he would say "find my rock" 😅

when i was in the army (switzerland) i was a sergent and made my recruits sweep the rails of all water while raining. i also made them carry around a big wood log (something like 5m long) wherever the go and two of them had to guard it like an ammunition depot. i also made them do the satelite (stelite punishment: the whole section is walking and i select the ones fucked around and made them run around the section wihle sreaming "bip bip i'am a satelite") also one had a tendency to call a magazine a "loader" so i made him run around the tanks training field while screaming this is a magazine... while smacking one on his head.

Some of the bureaucratic ones make me chuckle, because someone with OCD/ASD could excell at those tedious, menial things.

4:55 I'm actually dying of laughter

One of the greatest videos I have ever watched

#3, goddamn, that poor animal but that was hilarious one the punishment

I'm not military but one of my best friends shared a story from boot camp with me. He told me every time he received letters from home his father would spell out the state he was in, I think or was South Carolina but it's 15 years so I can't remember 100%. He told me how a DI noticed one letter and how he was smoked for having a father who went the extra mile and spelled the state out so he should be doing the same. Had a good laugh over drinks when he came back from boot camp for a visit.

I thought these were gonna be infuriating, I had this idea of too harsh punishments for too little things. But no This was perfect

The Mr. Fluffy Sergent sounds like Trebol.

Crazy Taxi.

I love seeing crazy taxy game play. One of the maps has a beach with a whale that will hump your car.

Back in my days. A felow Soldier had to dig a trench for him and his battle-brother. The location where he had to dig had some old scrap in the ground. bricks and stuff. He just threw them out of the hole or used them for consealment. all was fine until one brick hit another... Our Platoon Leader was present right this minute. Because of the Noise the two bricks made whe hit each other the PL ask him why the heck he cant be silent while digging. Without a flinch he replied "They´re making love, Sir!". PL broke into laugther and my fellow soldier had to do a presentation about the "qoute of sunlight to the lovelife of bricks" until evening... He did it... Whole 20 Minutes!

6:13 just made me lose some brain cells bc i had to think about the joke first. Keep up the good work @AmItheGenius?

17:03 Ah yes, Kings Bay. I grew up just across the river from them. In fact, my house is well within artillery range of them (12 geographical miles)

I knew a guy who was a marine back in the 50's. He was at Camp Lejeune and spit on a sidewalk. A drill sergeant saw him spit and ordered him to give it a military burial. The guy had to dig, by hand, a 4X6X6 foot deep grave, put the spit in it and cover it up. When he finished, the sergeant came by and asked if he buried that "soldier" face up or face down. The guy said face up, sir. Sergeant asked how he knew. He had to dig out that 4X6X6 foot grave and check then fill it again. Another marine I knew but in the 60's, at boot camp on the rifle range, couldn't hit the broad side of a barn......from the inside. His sergeant made him take an M--1 rifle and 2,000 rounds to practice until they were gone. M--1 fires a .30--06 hunting round that kicks like a mule. He said that by the time he ran out of ammo, his face and eye, where they laid against the stock, was swelled shut. I couldn't be in the military because of a congenital defect in my spine. Just as well, with my temper, I would have used my first bullet to shoot the sergeant and wound up in Leavenworth. True story. My father was a training sergeant during WW II. He had perforated eardrums from the experience. He said that one time, on the simulated battlefield, where they have small explosions and gunfire to see if any recruits will freeze up, the guy in the control tower that watched and detonated the charges, popped one off next to a recruit. They aren't supposed to do this because while they don't have the power of a grenade or artillery shell, they can be deadly if they go off too close. Anyway, when the blast knocked out the recruit, it blew him onto another charge. As the training sergeant in charge of that class, my father knew where the charges were so he ran over to grab the guy. He said as soon as he got the guy off the charge, the asshole in the tower set it off. My father said that if he had a live bullet in his rifle, he'd have shot the guy in the tower. He said the medics came over and took both of them to the base hospital where neither of them could hear or stand for a week without falling over. When they recovered and went back to duty, a few days later, my father saw the guy from the tower and beat the dog shit out of him.

The moment i saw the game in the background... YA YA YA YAAAAA

6:42 favorite story out of all of them

Oh I love this! Gotta love the imagination of DIs!

The sweeping sunshine one, when I was in basic the drill sergeants told us to be glad they didnt make us do that. Mine is: When I was in basic, we werent allowed to put our handsin our pockets unless given instruction to do so. This one VERY black guy (this is important) was caught with his hands in his pockets, so they made him stand at one end of the hall with his hands in his pockets, then do a squat and put his hands in front if him, saying "Look at me, I got my hands in my pockets, Im your entertainment." Only, because if his accent, it sounded more like "Look ah meh, I got mah han in my pockehts, Ahm yo entetenment." It stopped when the drill sergeants couldnt keep themselves from laughing.

OMG. So many. 1. AIT. Female soldier in my platoon got caught not once, not twice, but five times in the span of six weeks trying to bring the same dumb guy into her room. Both got Article 15’s, demoted (the guy got demoted 2 ranks), loss of pay for two months, and both always when going anywhere on base (except their own barracks room) had to have 2 other people with them. 2. AIT. A female soldier went to a local bar and entered a wet t-shirt contest. While she got extra guard duty, the other punishment was her having to slip Monopoly money inside 1 of the drill sergeants boots while he re-enacted his take on a wet t-shirt contest. 3 AIT. While technically an activity day for the company, the rest of the work day (12 pm-5 pm) was relaxing (playing football 🏈, talking, eating burgers and hotdogs). However, each platoon had to bring their guide-ons with them on the bus over to Fort Concho (retired base from around the Mexican-American war). One of the platoons made a play for another’s guide-on and took it to their drill sergeant, who was all smiles. When the buses got back to the base, that platoon got smoked for 1.5 hours, had to bury their replacement guide-on (their nickname was Rabid Dogs) and lots of low crawling (which wouldn’t be great on its own, but there was so many cactus 🌵 seeds and any sort of wind would blows lots of that and dust around). 4. Basic. The 1st SGT always spoke with a Cheech Marin accent, especially when he would say the phrase “You’re so discombobulated and sht.” Well, when someone decided to replicate that, 1st SGT had opened the window to his office, which was facing towards the formations. 1st SGT comes out from his office to outside to say “Who was the smart @$ who thinks they can copy me?” Originally, 1st SGT thought it was me and I responded “I may be stupid about the Army, 1st SGT, but I’m not suicidal”. He turned, stared at me for a couple moments, and laughed before saying “Holy sht. This mofo is a genius.” I somehow managed to stay on his good side after that, and the guy who did it had to recycle through with another platoon for Basic. 5. In-Processing. Not even technically Basic. Uniforms, dental, vision, simple marching and techniques, bed making, PT training. 1 guy apparently thought he couldn’t cut it, so he decided to go AWOL. He went missing for about two hours before the drill sergeants found him at another part of the base, trying to escape (even if the guy had escaped the base, he was still hundreds of miles away from his home). When the one drill sergeant asked what was he thinking, the guy responded “I was trying to find Jesus”. Without missing a beat, the DS responds with “Oh, DS DeJesus, I believe this recruit was looking for you.” The guy was made to sleep outside for a week, in view of cameras to make sure he didn’t escape again, and then got dishonorable discharge for going AWOL.

Some guys made comments about one of the women in my basic training flight. After our TI had a few words with their TI the airmen in question were seen cutting the grass…. With nail clippers. 🤭

Navy being in a Marine security battalion at Bangor story near the end checks out

Not mine, but my Battle Buddys story We have just arrived in AIT from BCT. In AIT, we have certain color tapes on our camel backs to tell different companys/ platoons apart. The color for our year was tennis ball green/yellow, very vibrant. ( Context is important on the color) Well, after dismissal, everyone is running to make it outside for a certain events taking place. Somehow, someone from the platoon grabs my Battle buddy Romeo and takes them with him. About 5 minutes with said platoon, there is a problem. My Battle buddy Romeo had gone with a different platoons Company, and had just been separated from us! Battle buddy Romeo then had to go to the front desk and explain his situation to the Drill Sergeant occupying the front desk. Drill Sergeant: What? What do you need private? Battle buddy: Drill Sergeant, I've been separated from my platoon and I don't know where they're at... Drill Sergeant: What? How?! You each should have your own colors! How could that happen? Battle Buddy: Drill Sergeant, the platoon grabbed me and we realized it wasn't my platoon. They have the same color band as my platoon! (Apparently, the AIT platoon before us that was graduating also had the exact same color band as us.) The Drill Sergeant realized this too, but still had to "correct" my Battle Budy. His correction was to have him leap frog from the front desk, to outside, than to our platoon! All while doing small "ribbits" with his hopes!

I laughed at the last one😂

Story 19 is a crazy ass workout

I'm an air cadet in New Zealand so me (m 13) I tripped over during some marching during a cold day and my "punishment" was being sent inside, wasnt complaining and got to hang out for a bit before being forced to return

When my dad was still in the army, he was in Iraq driving around at night one day. He wasn't the one driving though, instead, it was someone my dad outranked. It was the middle of the night in the middle of the desert. My dad tells the driver several times what to do. Despite being outranked, the driver did not do any of it. At one point my dad tells the driver to turn the headlights off, to which he does not. My dad goes "That's it. Get out." The driver says "But what about snipers." and my dad says something along the lines of "Should've thought about that." My dad drives off without the driver. I'm pretty sure he's alright.

Oh my Lord they put the guy on suicide watch🤣

I’m not in a military but my mom was, but it was in the N.A.V.Y. When someone doesn’t follow the rules, they have to stand outside for like 50 minutes or 10 hours and my mom was sick and freezing outside in the night, my poor mom😢

the teapot was so funny

poor armadillo, may it rest in peace

Okay with that one where the man was hiding out on the ledge that instructor was seconds away from greatness, they were doing practice with dummy grenades and he could have ordered the men to throw them at the guy 😂

The army as a concept is damn messed up but good lord do they have senses of humor

So what happened What about your copyright strikes?

Im 47 minutes late but at least you guys are still posting on KZfaq I can really subscribe because I already am

I'm the usnscc and one time this cadet was placed on snowflake patrol basically you stare out a window till you see a snowflake and alert lpo this cadet got nothing done and menis cause he's a troublemaker (broke a door at NLO) and it rhymes with his last name

Story #3: So...the guy acted like a Gossip Stone?

Lol I was ordered to dance after being caught dancing in bootcamp. Navy, so sister div RDC was called in from across the hall to watch. We had to do readers which had us remain in a squatting position, arms straight out with our recruit manual open and taking turns reading in the compartment. One time we had to do popcorn reading. One guy flat out got roasted till he cried cause he corrected someone who got a wrong answer amd the RDC let it slide. It was amazing cause she quoted anything and everything surrounding the topic. We all tried to add her on fb after bootcamp lmfao. I also was stationed at Kings Bay, those marine will haze a mf into oblivion lol I won't repeat those stories

S10 the voice 😂😂😂😂

This is sooooo funny😂😂😂

btw my corporal hit the griddy during brt

MR. FLUFFY!

6:36 I love that woman!

Story #8 is the best

The armadillo one is fair

i wanna see mr.Fluffy

In basic (Navy) we had a couple of company "scrounges" that would not keep themselves and their skivvies clean and laundered. As a result some of their dirty clothes were placed in the company urinals and we were made to pee on them. Did not quite agree with this but understood why. What if these guys were assigned to a sub. There's no closer one to another than that.

I'm starting to think the military prohibits physical abuse by DI's just to make punishments funnier.

lol

This was 2 funny

THE REDDIT POST IS 9 YEARS OLD WOW

Okay, as someone who knows a Vet with Severe back issues, that screw thing isn't that funny when they don't even let the poor bastard sit.

So funny

So many of these absolutely did not happen lmao. Reddit is so full of people that didn’t amount to what they wanted to be so they have to make something up

This is why I shall not join the military...

This wasn’t funny but someone got smoked and 4 of them had to do an extra pack march, I was being stupid and was so scared of the di one time went to prone position too quick a jagged rock pierced my palm during field, after dressing I stood at ease outside the field hospital for 2hours it was 40 degrees c, another company co walked up to me saying wtf are you doing, my reply was I’m waiting for my ride back to field and my nco is quite tough,

What happened??? Did you lose the channel?

I was put on suicide watch for messing with black people.

yo wsg

5:14 yeahhhh. Eagle scout doesnt matter after day 1. Day one? Yeah, you enter as E-2. Other than that it'll get you as fas as "oh so you arent a total dumbass and have somewhat of an understanding of leadership structure" But after that? If you act like it makes you special.......yeah itll make you the wrong kind of special