Andrew Cuomo And Donald Trump Fundamentally Disagree On The Value Of A Human Life

Рет қаралды 2,603,848

Күн бұрын

In contrast to the President who appears eager to restart the economy at any cost, New York Governor Andrew Cuomo is consistently challenging the idea that a human life is anything other than priceless. #Colbert #StephenAtHome #AndrewCuomo
Subscribe To "The Late Show" Channel HERE: bit.ly/ColbertKZfaq
For more content from "The Late Show with Stephen Colbert", click HERE: bit.ly/1AKISnR
Watch full episodes of "The Late Show" HERE: bit.ly/1Puei40
Like "The Late Show" on Facebook HERE: on. 1df139Y
Follow "The Late Show" on Twitter HERE: bit.ly/1dMzZzG
Follow "The Late Show" on Google+ HERE: bit.ly/1JlGgzw
Follow "The Late Show" on Instagram HERE: bit.ly/29wfREj
Follow "The Late Show" on Tumblr HERE: bit.ly/29DVvtR
Watch The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35 PM ET/10:35 PM CT. Only on CBS.
Get the CBS app for iPhone & iPad! Click HERE:
Get new episodes of shows you love across devices the next day, stream live TV, and watch full seasons of CBS fan favorites anytime, anywhere with CBS All Access. Try it free! bit.ly/1OQA29B
---
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

Пікірлер: 4 300

@anthropoceneatheist9549 4 жыл бұрын

We should start a grassroots movement. Let’s call it... VOTING!

@earthatom7 4 жыл бұрын

I think trump was genuinely wondering how you get a job since he's had everything handed to him

@hippodinoreserve6090 4 жыл бұрын

earthatom7 That burn on Jared Kushner at 11:29 was so scorching, it gave ME a suntan.

@novembermiss 4 жыл бұрын

Spot on assessment. "How do these guys get a job?" from someone who has never prepared a resume, sat down for a job interview, had to apply for unemployment after being laid off, etc., etc...

@thatman8562 4 жыл бұрын

From what I’ve gathered, the entire Trump Family has been coasting on luck and inertia ever since his Grandfather got a life insurance check after his uncle died from the Spanish Flu.

@veightrwd8828 3 жыл бұрын

Aged well don’t ya think?

@somewhereupthere785 4 жыл бұрын

It's not simply "the cost of a human life" it's the value of my mother, or your father, or someone's baby sister or your favorite aunt or your grandparents that have been married for 50 years. It's acceptable until it's someone you love? That's not right.

@silverbat5873 4 жыл бұрын

Yes. "First they came for the socialists."

@hollydowns2279 4 жыл бұрын

@Steven Now be fair Trump loves Ivanka way too much

@masa461 4 жыл бұрын

@Steven this is not about Trump or Republicans, or Democrat, or even elections. We must reopen economy because it will not survive another month or two of lockdowns. If economy collapses, it will kill more people than the virus.

@IMSiegfried 4 жыл бұрын

@@masa461 Having to choose between your health and your job is a false choice. There is nothing more important than your health. The government could simply pay people to stay home for the duration of the pandemic and they would spend that money that would go right back into the economy.

@superflea72 4 жыл бұрын

"yes...shopping during a pandemic is exactly like fighting Hitler." perfectly encapsulates this administration's reponse, well played Stephen, well played!

@SuperBC1975 4 жыл бұрын

"Big news from the endangered world of listening to scientists." Sad, but oh so true.

@heavierthanlight7173 4 жыл бұрын

You should see how booming science will get again if they create a weapon to wipe out a part of the world in an instance...

@davidlafleche1142 4 жыл бұрын

The same "scientists" also buy into that "Global Warming" hoax.

@gamepapa1211 4 жыл бұрын

I can't even read the word "sad" without hearing the Orange Cheeto's voice.

@gamepapa1211 4 жыл бұрын

@@davidlafleche1142 take off that tinfoil hat, Billy Bob: it's not a good look for you.

@brianmucha6426 4 жыл бұрын

Yes, so much easier to listen to non-scientists that tell you they have all the real answers that coincidentally line up with what you want to hear, and not necessarily what's real. Because sometimes...reality bites.

@mickesmanymovies 4 жыл бұрын

It’s funny. Trump is asking how people like Seth Meyers and Stephen Colbert got to be where they are today... While simultaneously most of the human population on this planet is asking the same thing about him.

@Ck69420 4 жыл бұрын

Mikael Karlsson yea but trump is actually funny unlike those pawns

@keithwright8626 4 жыл бұрын

@@Ck69420 Well good to see you recognise Trump is a clown, just a very dangerous one. Actually, maybe he could star in It 3 when this is all over.

@BeardiusMaximus 4 жыл бұрын

@@Ck69420 *yea but trump is actually dangerously incompetent unlike those pawns there. I fixed it for you

@DrKlausTrophobie 4 жыл бұрын

To be honest: I watch Colbert because of this joke in office...

@asdlkfjawoeijfldkf 4 жыл бұрын

Stephen Colbert is a mouthpiece. His narrative is the one he's instructed to have.

@zilfondel 4 жыл бұрын

"...Italy, Europe's Florida." Hahaha oh man, that was comedy gold!

@veightrwd8828 3 жыл бұрын

Yea and it aged well also.

@myneighbortotoro3051 4 жыл бұрын

“I married the daughter of Donald CBS” deserves an Emmy just for this comeback. Left it til the end too 🔥💥🔥

@GOODNOIGHT 4 жыл бұрын

Trump is the real life Lord Farquad: "Some of you may die, but its a sacrifice Im willing to make." 🤦🏻‍♂️

@caffrey1100 4 жыл бұрын

Adam T amen what a liser

@twonumber22 4 жыл бұрын

"he died doing what i love" energy

@haruruben 4 жыл бұрын

Remember when the Republiclowns were "pro-life"?

@TTownTim 4 жыл бұрын

@@caffrey1100 what?

@cmdrshprd4219 4 жыл бұрын

But far more orange

@alchemysolgod 4 жыл бұрын

Let’s sacrafice people to boost the economy..... One problem: you’re sacrificing the people who are supposed to boost that economy.

@fionaclaphamhoward5876 4 жыл бұрын

How many unemployed have you got now? The ones being urged back to work become expendable in the eyes of fat cats like Christie and Trump. Maybe it is like war, the workers are being treated like cannon fodder.

@sadiestoltzfus9798 4 жыл бұрын

@@fionaclaphamhoward5876 How in the hell is Trump living off the back's of the average joe?

@sadiestoltzfus9798 4 жыл бұрын

@Emmett Hardie When is he playing golf? I have seen one picture three years ago of him playing golf. Congress and senate takes two week vacations. And you don't bitch about that? And what German company. Don't send me to a link. Because there is a-lot of bull-shit on line.

@grittykitty50 4 жыл бұрын

@lima leaf frog This is what I've been saying all along. The workers need to say, "NO, we will not return to work until we are GUARANTEED that safety protocols are in place and testing is readily available."

@ronsmith7594 4 жыл бұрын

Yes! We have to accept 150,000 to 200,000 deaths thanks to China!!!

@bartliff 4 жыл бұрын

It's amazing how all the people with money want all of you lot to go back to work and suffer the consequences while they reap the benefits. amazing.

@carnagezone4268 4 жыл бұрын

Joslyn Vazquez that’s why everyone is supposed to stay the fuck at home. In Germany we did it and slowly start public life again. Maybe it’s because we don’t protest or beat our doctors and nurses But then again, we are not being governed by a hysterical baby.

@malachiXX 4 жыл бұрын

Oh No! All the labourers have to go back to work as soon as possible (like yesterday!) Why, the rich and powerful haven't made nearly as many millions in the past month and they usually do and soon, they may have to start cooking their own meals and cleaning their own homes. We just can't have that now can we?

@thelmaloyise8532 4 жыл бұрын

No, they are trying to stretch this out as long as possible and as close to the election they can because by then people will be so desperate they will vote for whoever they think will give them free money. Maybe Hunter Biden can give back the billion dollars he got running errands for his corrupt daddy and they can dole it back to us. It's ours anyway.

@thelmaloyise8532 4 жыл бұрын

@@carnagezone4268 What do you call that thing that governs you?

@errorASMR 4 жыл бұрын

the people with money want us to die and they're getting their wish since everything we're doing to combat illness will eventually make us ill

@joannabratton5941 4 жыл бұрын

I really think that a “scared-straight” era PSA depicting the gruesome reality of being intubated and being on a ventilator would help make some of the public take the pandemic more seriously. I know it scares the crap out of me!

@bradleon1926 4 жыл бұрын

your actually a genius

@brenobacci 4 жыл бұрын

I have almost zero hospital experience in my 37 years of life, but I did see my father a couple of times in the ICU after he had a stroke, and before he died. He was intubated, on a ventilator I suppose, since he couldn't breathe on his own. Scary shit. Kinda makes you lose hope that "that body" will get out of it, and function again. I imagine that if this fucking vírus does get in my lungs and starts to mess shit up, I probably won't survive. The worst thing is that I might already have caught it, and somehow my body managed to deal with it. I have no idea. Biology was never my favorite subject. Guess it should have been. And I'm on a country with one of the worse rates of testing among all the most populated ones. Severe undercounting of cases and deaths. So yeah, Joanna - I agree. I try not to think about it too much, but we need a vídeo to show us how we might die. People think this is a joke. It fucking isn't. It's killing babies, children, healthy people. Everybody. People need to stay the fuck at home. At least until we test every single one of us.

@vfaulkon 4 жыл бұрын

Sadly, I think the only way some people will be 'scared straight' is watching someone they care about suffer and possibly die from the virus personally, if not suffering it themselves. And even then, who knows if they'd admit anything publicly.

@Stevefhu 4 жыл бұрын

I'd like a 'this is your brain, this is your brain on Trump' commercial with the latter being an intubated patient alone in a hospital room.

@Stevefhu 4 жыл бұрын

@@brenobacci My Mom used to be in the ICU every few months for intestinal bleeding so serious that she's had full blood and plasma transfusions and once for a stroke. Thankfully after several procedures and an implant in her heart she's doing better and has been staying out of the hospital. It was terrifying every single time, wondering if this may be the time that she doesn't come home, but at least I was able to visit her. It would tear me apart for her or anyone else I know to be alone in the ICU through this, let alone possibly die alone there while hooked up to a ventilator. I'm doing my part to try to prevent the spread, I just wish other people would stop being selfish and do the same.

@b.jr.7816 4 жыл бұрын

“If it’s a mask facility, I’ll wear a mask.” Guess what. He didn’t wear a mask.

@tomgraves6463 4 жыл бұрын

He didn't drain the swamp either.... rather he found his safe space.

@biondna7984 4 жыл бұрын

Maybe we'll get lucky.

@teresitauy5532 4 жыл бұрын

@@biondna7984 got you, lol...

@sawahtb 4 жыл бұрын

He wore protective glasses which cover the wrong orifices.

@ini6392 4 жыл бұрын

@@sawahtb The eye holes?? I like that, Sarah.

@googleuser2874 4 жыл бұрын

That statement by Chris Christie is just shameful.

@Sinleqeunnini 4 жыл бұрын

Comparing the victims of the virus to fallen soldiers in WWII is based on an inappropriate metaphor of PANDEMIC IS WAR. It's bad because American citizens aren't fighting the war - they don't even want to be in a war. All they want is to be safe and isolated from the threat. It's better to say the pandemic is like letting bloodthirsty raiders prey on your unarmed population (guns don't matter for shit here) because the leaders were so incompetent they couldn't protect their people.

@Omar_E11 4 жыл бұрын

God created faces without masks.... and clothes as well, Chris.

@1godgodgodgodgod 4 жыл бұрын

Why is he realavant

@jasonallen3678 4 жыл бұрын

His appearance is shameful also

@alalalala57 4 жыл бұрын

@@Sinleqeunnini nobody wants to be in war, what are you talking about?

@mikkellkke8403 4 жыл бұрын

I married the daughter of Donald CBS, and he keeps putting me in charge of everything". Brutal man. Just brutal.

@dmeemd7787 4 жыл бұрын

"Of course, you wouldn't wanna wear a mask at a stupid place like a hospital" 😂😂🤣😂

@alfredneuman6911 4 жыл бұрын

Mr. Colbert, you and other "comedians" are voices of sanity in the Trump Era. I salute you, sir.

@Willywin 4 жыл бұрын

Yes may you continue to tell us how it is from your luxury homes with your well stocked freezers, I feel less hungry watching how pleasant life is for you, I want to listen to you preach to me about how I must make sacrifices, how I must suffer hardships - wait there are morons who actually tune in to do that.

@Sleeping_Insomiac 4 жыл бұрын

@@Willywin So you want to cure your hunger with death. Oh, not necessarily *yours,* but as long as it's someone you don't know... who cares, right?

@MrBugman2525 4 жыл бұрын

@@Willywin better than watching the orange hair ranotang

@Willywin 4 жыл бұрын

@@MrBugman2525 I disapproved of and detested those people who referred to President Obama as a Simian due to the color of his skin... don't you think that comparing someone to an animal because of their skin hue is disgusting, please stop.

@sadiestoltzfus9798 4 жыл бұрын

@@Sleeping_Insomiac Yeah, Americans are so hungry...why do we need so much potty paper than? If you can't eat well no need for ass wipes.

@piplupcola 4 жыл бұрын

If there is one thing America lacks the most right now, it's not mask or testing, its empathy.

@phriedokra6158 4 жыл бұрын

Sadly the base owns no dictionary and they only Google porn and not to check a definition ...

@2sidestothestory782 4 жыл бұрын

Survival of the manny versus survival off the few is what human beings often have to deal with millions of Americans losing their jobs their house their businesses or thousands of people passing away.

@sadiestoltzfus9798 4 жыл бұрын

Oh shut-up, our country has shown more "empathy" and generosity than any nation in the world. Show some empathy toward people who don't agree with your political opinions first. Practice what you preach first democrat's.

@allisonharper1819 4 жыл бұрын

piplupcola - so many things to add to that list... lacking intelligence, critical thinking, lacking TRUE/proper information and ability to make personal choices!

@ilwas1066 4 жыл бұрын

@@sadiestoltzfus9798, again DON'T embarrass yourself. Are you watching Faux entertainment as your news? You are trying too hard to make a stupid and uninformed message in here. I've read enough of this back and forth. My conclusion: Sadie pet. Get some help, I suggest you get your brain examined if you still have Obamacare.

@scrambledeggsTV 4 жыл бұрын

Religious americans seem to pick and choose when to be pro life.

@philipjdry1234 4 жыл бұрын

Especially when they use their car to run over and kill college protestors. To kill an American, isn't that what terrorists do?

@maazkalim 4 жыл бұрын

Understatement. Sheer understatement. *Spelling-out:* Not just limited to acting ‘pro-life’.

@rkms5606 4 жыл бұрын

Don't generalize. Plenty of religious folk know and speak up against the idolatry of 45, money, Injustice and white supremacy that is leading many politicians.

@northernpunx1978 4 жыл бұрын

Every single time. Pro life is a smoke screen for anti women.

@axelsoncarla 4 жыл бұрын

They need to rename themselves as pro birthers not pro lifers

@ronsch98 4 жыл бұрын

LOL: Off course, for lonely Italian farmers, “stable affection” means something totally different 🤣🤣🤣

@sierranexi 4 жыл бұрын

"He's seen models that were very inaccurate. He could have sworn they were 18." Perfectly said.

@Aerials135 4 жыл бұрын

@MarvelDC girl 1255643 2354 ?? why 19?

@Ben_Rothenburg_ 4 жыл бұрын

JOEYSWORLDTOUR

@SpeckleKen 4 жыл бұрын

@MarvelDC girl 1255643 2354 Some of the Miss Teen USA contestants he deliberately walked-in on while half-naked were 15. Fifteen!

@Kennedy4OurCountry 4 жыл бұрын

Actually, stephen is projecting, with that one. Ask stephen about Epstein island. Ask stephen about his friend Podesta. Stephen has his secrets...

@highvoltge422 4 жыл бұрын

@@SpeckleKen Utterly despicable. Drumph can't keep his disgusting hands off women. kzfaq.info/get/bejne/ia-qddio3Ne7cqs.htmlm48s

@MichelleTarbox1 4 жыл бұрын

Ok the “I married the daughter of Donald CBS, and he put me in charge of everything!” line was brilliant satire!

@phillipridgway8317 4 жыл бұрын

@Master-Grief 117 Shame we can't track Trump's finances, which he consistently hides, to see who's paying for HIS words!!! Most of it is Russian loans, but he is still fighting in court to hide the details. Putin's puppet, along with the one percent.

@RusTsea196T 4 жыл бұрын

I regret I can only LIKE this once!

@iansampson7663 4 жыл бұрын

@Master-Grief 117 Hi Donald

@pdoylemi 4 жыл бұрын

@Master-Grief 117 You can't find ANYONE on TV who is not paid by a corporation - that doesn't mean they are telling him what to say. Besides, if giant corporations were telling him what to say, they would tell him to STFU about Trump. Trump has given them so may financial blow jobs it is ridiculous.

@martinnolan4800 4 жыл бұрын

Master-Grief 117 So, you “understand” comedy ? Well done you!👍. Actually I didn’t find the Chris Morris peadophilia ep. all that funny. There’s a really big difference in “taking the piss” out of Gary Lineker (excellent football commentator) and dictator wannabe Trump. Also, was John Cleese a political satirist?

@artnunymiss2530 4 жыл бұрын

OMG -- "I married the daughter of Donald CBS" is the last joke that can ever be told.

@pierreodendaal6519 4 жыл бұрын

Wanna bet? Trump has more.

@deanmartin1111 4 жыл бұрын

@@pierreodendaal6519 trump IS the joke.

@moniquemonicat 4 жыл бұрын

It's not true what Stephen said about ITALY: Italy did NOT open: they can only now travel between regions to visit relatives, not out of the country and they must wear masks, but schools, hairdressers, gyms and commercial activities will stay closed; cafes and restaurants can have takeout only; and all travel between regions will be banned except for work, health or emergency situations. Restrictions on funerals have been relaxed, with a maximum of 15 mourners allowed to attend, but masses and weddings will have to wait.

@mkparente 4 жыл бұрын

moniquemonicat actually travel is allowed only within the Region we live in. I find pretty boring the mention of pizza and lovers but maybe this is hilarious in the US.

@tessa1261 4 жыл бұрын

@@mkparente Yeah, "Europe's Florida", why is that? Europe's Florida are Sweden and the UK.

@Filippo5 4 жыл бұрын

It’s always great to see a comedian not letting facts getting in the way of a lazy joke...

@maureennolan2784 4 жыл бұрын

Good one, Steven Colbert: "Shopping during a pandemic is exactly like fighting Hitler." Unbelievable statement by Chris Christie.

@rosaalcaraz3058 4 жыл бұрын

He's bored, so he's moving on. Attention span of a toddler

@rcr3158 4 жыл бұрын

Rosa Alcaraz - He thinks if he does not pay attention to the problem it will go away on its own . His stance on the virus from the very beginning.

@elenachristian9860 4 жыл бұрын

Good. Maybe he'll forget to wash his hands.

@hannyhawkins7804 4 жыл бұрын

Exactly. No courage. No tenacity.

@phriedokra6158 4 жыл бұрын

He's gotta open up...its SUMMER...TIME TO OGLE THE FLESH and scope out the most nubile to grab puss....says every sex addict/molester this time of year...like rutting.. it's natural to these animals also.

@phriedokra6158 4 жыл бұрын

@@elenachristian9860 Forget? In Art of the Deal he explains HIS WINNING STRATEGY of pre meeting ritual of peeing just prior to it and intentionally NOT WASHING THEM to gain a psychological win over them from THE START...so it's fair to assume HE QUIT WASHING THEM DECADE'S AGO!!!

@mmmassey1 4 жыл бұрын

I’m just sooo over this administration; 4 years of nothing being done. Time for a change.

@Stevefhu 4 жыл бұрын

Oh, plenty of things have been done. They're just all the wrong things.

@hollydowns2279 4 жыл бұрын

I am sick of the whole lot ! Red/ Blue.... same... they are united in their hatred of tax payers

@leonardoflorentin 4 жыл бұрын

@@hollydowns2279 time for a new world order?? 'Cause all this pandemic thing seems to lead us towards that.

@absenceofcolour 4 жыл бұрын

"I'm a three stooges man, whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop" BAHAHAHA *dying laughing*

@deecee4410 4 жыл бұрын

In fact, Trevor Noah, Seth Meyers and Stephen Colbert are my top fav host.

@phriedokra6158 4 жыл бұрын

No John Oliver? He's pretty awesome too....

@talldronduty 4 жыл бұрын

@@phriedokra6158 ..John Oliver is my favourite

@grumpy9721 4 жыл бұрын

I have no idea who Trevor is. Gotta check out.

@lisachaput2952 4 жыл бұрын

Yeah, this Trump dude is not funny one bit!! Your fired!!! ( Signed, the American people!!)

@galinaursachii7030 4 жыл бұрын

How is it possible that John Oliver is not on that list? He's the best!

@bertramspielt 4 жыл бұрын

He gets better and better. At the first homemade late shows, he had his problems, working without audience. But now - he found the flow! It's a pleasure to see the show, thank you Mister Colbert! Greetings from Austria 🇦🇹, stay safe!

@quecksilber457 4 жыл бұрын

Damn you, i almost had a heard attack during that bowling joke, when i suddenly heard that sound. I thought something broke here in my house lol.

@amiesibona1217 4 жыл бұрын

Watching you unravel has been some of my greatest joy. Not maliciously! Just so real, so raw, so unfiltered! Love you even more!

@CorerMaximus 4 жыл бұрын

Despite having an 80% pay cut, not being able to pay rent, and being possibly let go in the coming weeks- I'd rather wait for the US to open up things properly than hastily undo the quarantine only to have restrictions reimposed days later, which would be far more chaotic and would probably do more harm than good.

@devildoll641 4 жыл бұрын

Agree!

@GotchaDastardlyPeeps 4 жыл бұрын

@jambononi 4 жыл бұрын

Sorry to hear that's happening to you, must suck! I've lost tonnes of work as a freelancer but can also see that I would trade many of my worldly possessions to save tens of thousands of lives. So crazy to think people are ok with the idea that killing a man or a woman so you can go bowling or get a haircut is acceptable. Just bizarre how little gratitude people have for simply being alive that they need artificial stimulus to imagine their lives have meaning.

@Gareethtw 4 жыл бұрын

One of the areas of Japan closed again yesterday totally after less than a month of no restrictions. They were at least informative in where they had felt they made an error although it happens here too so I would hope people listen. They said they had failed to account for the impact of people moving around domestically. They had a massive spike in cases and now do not expect to have anything back up and running before there is a vaccine or something like it. They had a nice geographical barrier going for them other than like many places there is movement domestically mostly for essential things. Still it was good that they owned where they felt they had gone wrong and how a slow and more careful approach might have considered their weak point but they are also right as far as if you have to retreat from having started things back up you might not get a second chance.

@mystery8001 4 жыл бұрын

Same here and agreed ✌️✌️✌️

@Leonaza7 4 жыл бұрын

He just totally ignored his own administration COVID-19 guidelines to opening states. He is not even expecting the states to follow thru. This is madness.

@BazzBrother 4 жыл бұрын

hes just doing what he always does, cover EVERY single base so that his supporters can pick the one that suits them best when the time comes. why give Fox news a single soundbite of information to work off of when he can give them every damn bite for any situation to be passed off as the defacto thing he was promoting.

@shizuokaBLUES 4 жыл бұрын

Charles Charlemagne Justin Trudeau? Care to parse that just a wee bit ?

@shizuokaBLUES 4 жыл бұрын

Charles Charlemagne Chicago doesn’t have a governor. Illinois has one though , is that what you mean?

@alexoelkers2292 4 жыл бұрын

@Charles Charlemagne whataboutism arguments... 👍 awesome.

@Gareethtw 4 жыл бұрын

Not all the states closed.

@constantcomment7089 4 жыл бұрын

I mute the tv when the President comes on and restore when the doctors are speaking.

@polaristara 4 жыл бұрын

So do I

@maazkalim 4 жыл бұрын

It must be still tormenting to see that moving and functioning endorsement of Beauty* industry?!? 😳 *There's a reason why I've capitalised the corporate-notion of "beauty".

@ripples07able 4 жыл бұрын

Save yourself - don’t try drinking liquids while viewing video.

@Stevefhu 4 жыл бұрын

Seriously though. I spit up bleach all over my new shirt. Now it's ruined and The Late Show will be receiving a bill shortly. Thank god I wasn't wearing pants.

@stasiaspade1169 4 жыл бұрын

Or at least to save your computer screen!

@elizabethhumphreys9105 4 жыл бұрын

I spilt wine over my PJ's!

@WildwoodClaire1 4 жыл бұрын

Silly me, I took Republicans seriously when they claimed to be "pro-life"!

@iansampson7663 4 жыл бұрын

I thought the same when I saw protesters on the street with guns

@tudevoid 4 жыл бұрын

@@iansampson7663 Having a gun is not a crime haha

@tudevoid 4 жыл бұрын

@@iansampson7663 And having a gun does not mean you will take a life, it can mean protection.

@tudevoid 4 жыл бұрын

Still to this day more democrats kill humans than this covid-19 and that will always remain true. Gotta love that "pro-choice" for killing a baby.

@TheGoofy1932 4 жыл бұрын

Oh, that only counts if the life is in your uterus, and they can subjugate women's rights. Their utopia would be a real life Handmaid's Tale.

@Taecoconut 4 жыл бұрын

“He could have sworn they were 18” I choked on my water and spent 5 minutes coughing, wheezing and Laughing at this line

@servbotz 4 жыл бұрын

5:15 "He's seen models that were very inaccurate. He could've sworn they were 18." 🤣🤣🤣

@spartanMN300 4 жыл бұрын

“Lawmaker refuses to wear face mask because God created humans without one” welp there we have it, possibly the stupidest thing I’ve heard all year. Although let’s not give in to hyperbole just yet, the year is still young

@vfaulkon 4 жыл бұрын

I don't know, the President of the United States suggesting, in public and on camera, that people should inject disinfectants directly into their body to fight the coronavirus is a hot contender for the top spot in my books.

@VGAstudent 4 жыл бұрын

Still, that injecting detergents intraveinously is a killer sarcastic comment the "President" made in his public service announcement.

@animalia5554 4 жыл бұрын

By that argument he shouldn’t be wearing clothes either, but he doesn’t look naked to me.

@Stevefhu 4 жыл бұрын

@@VGAstudent He didn't say it sarcastically. It's time to bury that lie. I can't wait til the Liar in Chief departs the White House so we all can finally be at peace.

@miriaml.150 4 жыл бұрын

@Vance Gilbert. It ooks like you need to learn what sarcasm is.

@waynesitarz424 4 жыл бұрын

First indifference, then outright hostility - the full Melania.

@Leonaza7 4 жыл бұрын

I notice he hasn’t reopened the White House for tours. Pay attention to how much your life matters.

@LestatandBerial 4 жыл бұрын

Nor have many of the govenors trying to restarttheir states. In fact when the Mayor of Las vegas, who has said se my city to see if it spreads again, was asked if she'd be willing to go to the casino floor, she said "i have a family" and tried to deflect the question.

@noirrain6005 4 жыл бұрын

No one is forcing you to go out. You can rot inside your house. Bombs are coming. Take shelter for 50 years. Bye

@notyou8716 4 жыл бұрын

The doors aren't open because in order to get into the White House you have to slip thru the cracks.

@MsVorpalBlade 4 жыл бұрын

@john smith even if you're not afraid, stay home

@dr.zippymcscoots8725 4 жыл бұрын

Good point lady

@FrancesBaconandEggs 4 жыл бұрын

It’s ironic that the anti-abortion vs pro-choice parties have switched their supposed stances.

@ladynoluck 4 жыл бұрын

Yep, you clearly spelled it out. Pro-life has never been pro-“life”. They’re pro-birth. So, when the pandemic came around, it’s not a surprise that they welcomed ending lives for ridiculous reasons (“I want a haircut!”). After all, if the mother dies in childbirth and the baby lives, it’s a success to them... so, I am not surprised, but it is still sad to see... :(

@mycologist1372 4 жыл бұрын

Hehehe

@WestOfEarth 4 жыл бұрын

Nothing has changed for pro-choice supporters. It has always been a false narrative propagated by Conservatives that pro-choice supporters are against life. And the Conservative anti-abortion crowd (which is most conservatives) has always hindered any life-saving measures if it costs them money. No universal health care, slashing money from food support programs, and now the pandemic which they'll willingly sacrifice any one of you so long as their economy runs. The reason it looks like they've switched is because it's become blatantly obvious how deeply Conservative morality fails.

@Aerials135 4 жыл бұрын

yeah, it's always been pretty telling that they would deny a woman an abortion that would save her life. because all the world needs is more children without parents, right?

@FifthAveAtFive 4 жыл бұрын

I consider myself morally pro-life and anti-abortion, but politically I vote democrat or third party because they have a more comprehensive pro-life agenda to promote equal rights and higher quality of life for everyone because they are human beings. Republican Party is more pro-birth and that’s it. I really hope that with everything going on, my fellow Catholics vote based on more than one-single pro-life issue and evaluate candidates on how much they prioritize humans and the actions that follow and how there are more effective ways to reduce abortions since outlawing them doesn’t work.

@josephpatania5293 4 жыл бұрын

Hey Stephen that Ringo joke really made me sad. How could you compare Ringo to Trump? How?

@josephpatania5293 4 жыл бұрын

If you're implying that no one is there to see Ringo, I can testify to personally attending to two of his concerts.

@josephpatania5293 4 жыл бұрын

Btw thanks so much for what you've been doing, its been helping out alot. Peace and Love

@AdinaEvenZohar 4 жыл бұрын

"How did this guy get the job", is a question people all over the world are asking.

@34and0 4 жыл бұрын

pretty sure Muller supplied an answer to that.. and it wasnt "complete exoneration"

@wittggestein 4 жыл бұрын

he defeated the crooked one fair and square and pray he doesn´t do it again.

@RayW.... 4 жыл бұрын

Because your party is criminal. Not had to figure out. Leave your basement here and there.

@jlcrimm1 4 жыл бұрын

Both political parties were taken over by neoliberal corporatists that used progressive or proto-fascist rhetoric to ignite their respective voting bases which were dumbed down by years of neoliberal plutocrats defunding education and right wing donors pumping ungodly amounts of money into corporatist right wing propaganda outlets or corporatist liberal propaganda, to the point that both electorates became increasingly stupid, polarized, and partisan in nature, then the DNC chose the 2 most unlikable humans on earth to oppose the most despicable man on earth, because they realized they make more money with Trump in power - and its easier to push through conservative policies that are preferred by their donors when the GOP controls the entire government. Thus... Trump.

@ya472 4 жыл бұрын

How did this guy get the job??? Easy answer... it shows the deterioration of the American system, where many people line up behind a bully, to see what spoils they can grab for their own sorry ass.

@MaserXIV 4 жыл бұрын

It's weird. Logically, "A human life is priceless," should be such a softball statement for a politician. But apparently it isn't anymore.

@2sidestothestory782 4 жыл бұрын

Is one human life worth the existence of 325 million people there's a certain extent where the survival of the many must be considered more important than the survival of the few.

@HungryLoki 4 жыл бұрын

@@2sidestothestory782 Of course, but it's a weak argument to make, in a country that puts the richness of the few over the survival of the many.

@BSinNYC 4 жыл бұрын

Only fetuses are priceless to Republicans.

@BobPagani 4 жыл бұрын

@@BSinNYC That's because they don't have any expectations of government's ability to do anything competently.

@BobPagani 4 жыл бұрын

@@2sidestothestory782 So which of your friends and family members are you willing to sacrifice for your noble cause?

@luliby2309 4 жыл бұрын

"We survived...by sacrificing those lives." Survived. Sacrificing those lives. I'm sensing a bit of a disconnect here I think. A bit of dissonance.

@uniquelylily1166 4 жыл бұрын

I sure don't recall enlisting or being drafted in the service Mr. Christy. Crazy frikken analogy, but then again, look at the source, an "OT" i.e. "Oxygen Thief"

@wctrqn 4 жыл бұрын

“Donald trump, he is nasty. Just one joker. The guy’s got no intelligence whatsoever. Zero.”

@kaylenc05 4 жыл бұрын

@steak Johnson So the viable option for you is to leave home, having a high risk of getting infected, then getting your family infected and potentially dying?

@thegreatsalmon137 4 жыл бұрын

And so are you

@billg5710 4 жыл бұрын

@steak Johnson I don't think Stevo here is.

@carnagezone4268 4 жыл бұрын

steak Johnson if you haven’t dabei up 3-6 monthly salaries before taking out a mortgage, that’s your fault and you shouldn’t be spreading the virus to others because u failed to plan ahead

@carnagezone4268 4 жыл бұрын

steak Johnson I can’t be mad at you for that. If I was living in the US and having this crisis managed by a evidently lying, hysterical baby, I would probably have similar thoughts. Crazy how fast you can become a shithole country the whole world laughs about and where it isn’t save to live anymore

@elainebrooksbank5281 4 жыл бұрын

“I’m leaving for Arizona.” Quick, change the locks on the White House doors. “I’ve seen models that were very inaccurate.” And he married them. “How did these people get jobs?” Not sure that’s a question that someone who only got a job cos daddy owned the company should ask. Especially when even daddy doubted you were up to the job many times. “Of course I’ll wear a mask if it’s a mask facility.” But, evidently not if the mask facility wasn’t originally a mask facility. His one chance to do something positive during this health crisis by demonstrating that he took the sensible precautions of wearing a mask as outlined by his task force and he couldn’t even do that. Presumably, as he lied during his “Lincoln” interview with Fox State TV, if every state has numbers of infections falling rapidly and he’s made the virus go away so no need for a task force anymore, then White House tours will start again and there’ll be no need to test anyone who turns up cos the virus has been defeated. Or does Trump mean he wants every other business open but not one that’s close to him. It does beg the question though - is he disbanding the task force because he thinks the virus has gone away or because they often exposed his lies by telling us what’s really happening. It’s odd timing - everything changed after his suggestion that we all have a Lysol on the rocks before bed. Is he now saying that we the people no longer need to know what’s happening in case the truth affects his re-election chances. I’d say that move alone should seriously affect his re-election chances.

@bevsputler5455 4 жыл бұрын

It will when Texans Floridians and Georgians see their people dying! Check out the spread of this virus in the meat packing plants! 1person sick becomes 600 now 900 & that's just the ones reported!

@elainebrooksbank5281 4 жыл бұрын

Thrasymachus Monk the well know and often used phrase to “beg the question” means to raise a point that has not been dealt with. In this case many people have dealt with it others, like your good self, are desperately trying to avoid having to deal with it. And no amount of magniloquence on your part can hide that - even if you try to pass yourself off as a 5th century BSE Greek spokesperson for cynical realism promoting the theory that might makes right.

@bevsputler5455 4 жыл бұрын

@Emmett Hardie no one has to trump themselves, he does that quit well himself...but since americans have been so dumbed down the last 30yrs I'm surprised you even comprehend the previous paragraphs! Simply said trumpeter are just deplorables

@bevsputler5455 4 жыл бұрын

@Samara Hamilton the phone companies alter your name for privacy that's how much you know about you tube...stick with what you know try Fox it's more your speed!

@badzullu 4 жыл бұрын

I say invest in schools, not in churches. Every time you feel the need to go to church on Sunday, go to a science faire. Modify the 2nd amendment sk every stupid knows that it was never ment for them to own guns. After that just wait 100 years and will be fine.

@elsafrt5540 4 жыл бұрын

Hey! Don’t call us Europe’s Florida! We at least know how to respect guidelines!

@Karina9193 4 жыл бұрын

As a Floridian... I can attest to that. I live in a state of complete imbeciles 😅

@Karina9193 4 жыл бұрын

Robert Horker I completely agree.

@lilRadRidinHood 4 жыл бұрын

The "COVIDIOTS" are everywhere!

@TTownTim 4 жыл бұрын

@@lilRadRidinHood you misspelled "magat dipshits"

@mori1bund 4 жыл бұрын

"the full Melania"! That joke deserves a live audience! 😁😁😁

@indigowolf556 4 жыл бұрын

Steve ... I think you're talented and hella funny! I love Seth Meyers I love Jimmy Kimmel and I love Trevor Noah you guys rock you have great stuff great insight and it give us some humor to get through these crazy times.

@maazkalim 4 жыл бұрын

You EQUALLY love 4 of them at the very same time? Polyamorist? Huh??? 😏

@Opus313 4 жыл бұрын

Donald will never show some humility, take responsibility for his actions and apologize to all the families that have lost a loved one. Just won't happen...

@babarazamsucks 4 жыл бұрын

Opus 313 They sadly won't happen indeed.

@drizzymane45 4 жыл бұрын

yes

@rogerwehbe182 4 жыл бұрын

#trumpsvirus and #orangejumpsuit are fitting

@thisisme2476 4 жыл бұрын

@Charles Charlemagne Are you really that stupid? Or, do you think everyone else is that stupid??

@michaelangeles6870 4 жыл бұрын

question is, when will there be real action against Trump? How many more people should suffer and die? Just wondering...

@delta5297 4 жыл бұрын

"Trump claims he won't return until the media starts treating him fairly." A bad person complaining about being portrayed as a bad person. Nothing to see here.

@1godgodgodgodgod 4 жыл бұрын

I can't call him the curse words I want because Americans would get butthurt in 2020

@pdoylemi 4 жыл бұрын

Some threat - he has skipped every one of these, and last year told his staff that none of them could go either.

@grittykitty50 4 жыл бұрын

@@1godgodgodgodgod Nope, go ahead and speak your mind. Many Americans would say much worse things.

@jozippy8625 4 жыл бұрын

Andrew Cuomo has blood on his hands- nypost.com/2020/05/05/this-nursing-home-disaster-is-on-you-gov-cuomo-goodwin/

@karlwilker579 4 жыл бұрын

@@1godgodgodgodgod Call him what you want. Don't care about people's feelings.

@rswife777 4 жыл бұрын

Seasonal Turd Showers. Finally an answer to why everyone has been hoarding tp🧻.

@tylerworrell7866 4 жыл бұрын

This was a great episode! Very funny. Thank you for the laughs!

@jsamrie 4 жыл бұрын

“He could’ve sworn they were 18” hahaha

@kimclarke5018 4 жыл бұрын

I know right. It’s spot on though.

@kimjongfun5427 4 жыл бұрын

"Republicans are like comic book collectors: Human life only holds value until you take it out of the package, and then it's worth nothing." - Trevor Noah

@Axel-tk3tk 4 жыл бұрын

Anti abortion..butnot antiguns or antideath penalty or pro healthcare or pro safety nets. They want you to suffer while you live. They wealth means God chose them. They think if you are suffering it's God wants it.

@AdamTait-hy2qh 4 жыл бұрын

@Charles Charlemagne lol yeah ok whatever no one buys your anger bs

@DresdenShuffle 4 жыл бұрын

Charles has been spamming that in the comments so either he's a Russian bot or he's a sycophant with no life and this is his only form of social contact. Either way he's a loser.

@howardmoon2687 4 жыл бұрын

@Charles Charlemagne I suggest you go out, find a crowded area, and breath deep. Especially if someone is coughing. You can just inject some disinfectant afterwards, you'll be fine...

@92ateloiv 4 жыл бұрын

Charles Charlamagne: you should know a thing or two about sheep behavior, following a guy who’s ‘yuge’ idea was to down Lysol. Go ahead and go outside, don’t forget to get DNR tattooed on your forehead when you idiots get infected.

@garyjoaquin 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you, Steven Colbert and everyone involved in producing your show, for producing consistently brilliant satire and insightful social commentary. Your show provides much needed comic relief and a daily reminder to aspire to become our highest selves by putting others first.

@metfan4l 4 жыл бұрын

7:39 Holy shit, that might be the dumbest most insane thing I've ever heard.

@darkmyro 4 жыл бұрын

Cuomo: a life is priceless Trump: you'll get a job. You'll get a better job. Really shows how they value life doesn't it. One sees life as valuable and the other sees people as a comodity.

@ARichardP 4 жыл бұрын

Where are these “better jobs” coming from? Restaurants, cruise ships, ushers at concerts - these kinds of jobs will not be coming back in large numbers any time soon. And how would we pay, for example, for infrastructure jobs? Maybe virus testers, grave diggers, etc. will be the new boom economic sector.

@glazierblue573 4 жыл бұрын

Trump thinking thats this is safe for everyone to just go back to work is about as likely as Hitler really not knowing there was poison gas in the shower rooms at all the concentration camps. At least he didnt hide the fact is was trying to wipe people out.

@RayW.... 4 жыл бұрын

@@glazierblue573 nice reach. Try again

@700Ezalb 4 жыл бұрын

@true prophecy "Celebrates" abortion and murdering of children? Hope you were able to get straw you were grasping at.

@narcslayer425 4 жыл бұрын

Cuomo: Let's use nursing homes for COVID overflow. Actions speak louder than words ... pay attention!

@jamaniandjaquesps1389 4 жыл бұрын

If any state returns to normal operations, they should also open up the governors mansion and the white house to the public

@ya472 4 жыл бұрын

Like road rage, people are just obstacles that get in the way.

@Arnoldfan89 3 жыл бұрын

This aged really well.

@RiccardoGabarriniKazeatari 4 жыл бұрын

Lockdown is NOT over in Italy. We can go out for medical reasons, groceries, and now they added visits to relatives and lovers, and that's it. Stores and restaurants are still closed!

@hatchz6 4 жыл бұрын

Riccardo Gabarrini Same here in Canada. I live in a small province on the east coast and we have gone 17 days with no new cases. Our premier locked us down early. Nothing is open other the essential stores as we are ok with that, our borders are closed. We just now are able to visit one other household, the bubble house. Opening too soon will only set us back!

@foxymefly 4 жыл бұрын

Glad your countries care about your lives but in the states if you know better you may be okay. Unfortunately it's more sheep than goats here.

@yoeriw7099 4 жыл бұрын

Same here in the Netherlands, clothing stores have reopened recently but that's about it (on top of the essentials ofc). Industry is mostly still running if they can keep distance during work. Hairdressers, restaurants, bars and other businesses are still on lockdown here and will probably be so till the end of the month at least.

@umbriel84 4 жыл бұрын

Our numbers are also looking much better these days... Let's hope this partial reopening doesn't f everything up again

@Viajealduende 4 жыл бұрын

@@s.g.8082 I'm an American and I was back in the US when the virus became officaly a pandemi I chose to leave the US when Spain was beginning it's lockdown. Why? I trusted that even though at the time that Spain would do a better job than the US, it was bet but a good one knowing that Trump is not only an idiot but a very stupid and greedy idiot with a lot of support from more incredibley stupid and or greedy people. Thanks to goodleadership under Pedro Sanchez Spain while it was very bad began to bring the curve down first and the fastest with a strict but not a fascist like lock down as some of his critics would like the opposition to believe. Under lock down were were allowed to shop with masks on and keeping a safe distsnce. No hoarding was allowed as it wasn't really necesssary. Plenty of supplies were stocked each week. Teh rightwing fascists are the one's who want to push people back to the work place as they prefer to keep our tax money to benefit the super rich and corpoations. Poor oil companies. They can wait and so can McDonalds. If you want to freedom to go bowling over the lives of your own grandparents then YOU are a fascist!!!I do NOT refer to you S.G. I refer to the rightwing governments in the world pushing people out to work 'cause tehy don't want to give us our tax money back during a crisis.

@cmstyx 4 жыл бұрын

"Trump says that when the weather gets warmer, it will miraculously go away." Erm - it is a daily 35 degree Celsius (95 fahrenheit) in my country, and the virus is definitely still here, happily frolicking away in my sunny tropical country.

@samueljyap 4 жыл бұрын

Same here in sunny Philippines!

@kushalthapa2865 4 жыл бұрын

Middle East is always hot!

@TJ-hs1qm 4 жыл бұрын

What he meant was the global warming caused by climate change :)

@autumn7809 4 жыл бұрын

Over 100°F in parts of his own country that are still seeing steady growth in cases 🙃

@cobrastrike6043 4 жыл бұрын

Unfortunately, Trump is clueless when it comes to geography. I'm surprised he's not a flat Earther.

@dianeridley9804 4 жыл бұрын

04:13. "Choppertalk!" It's really a shame that the best comedy comes at the expense of so much tragedy. Stephen Colbert, you and your team are a national treasure FOR REAL!

@snaplash 4 жыл бұрын

The only "human" life Dump cares about is his own. Putin definitely got his money's worth.

@thegreatsalmon137 4 жыл бұрын

And Biden does care?

@polaristara 4 жыл бұрын

Agreed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@onebylandtwoifbysearunifby5475 4 жыл бұрын

That investment is the gift that keeps on giving for Putin's Russia. Two "elected" dictators that have more in common with each other than the people of their respective countries.

@pappyodanial 4 жыл бұрын

CCP infiltrator, you will be dragged into the streets, tarred and feathered when this is all over.

@thegreatsalmon137 4 жыл бұрын

@tenebrous soul he lies all the time

@IHScoutII 4 жыл бұрын

C'mon Stephen, Ringo need not be dragged through the mud here.

@SupachargedGaming 4 жыл бұрын

"He's not even the best drummer in the beatles!" - Poor Ringo.

@Xix1326 4 жыл бұрын

When he talked about models being very inaccurate, I would have liked to have seen a graphic of his hurricane sharpie map.

@solidandsoiled 4 жыл бұрын

You got me at the vampire part. thanks haha

@lastlight4252 4 жыл бұрын

Stephen Colbert: This show was on fire!!! Thank you!!!

@beiidsc 4 жыл бұрын

It's fundementally different when a person dies in a war to prevent fascists from taking over the world.

@ohioplayer-bl9em 4 жыл бұрын

It is starting to get that way with this. The fascist ones making everyone be so scared. Keep hiding in your basement waiting for this rna vaccine. You will be waiting a very long time. Meanwhile real humans that work for a living will move on with their life.

@LiveNiceness14 4 жыл бұрын

ohio player1177 so Ohio player, how is Ohio doing right now?

@mandy833 4 жыл бұрын

@@ohioplayer-bl9em Surprise, surprise. Another Trump supporter that doesn't understand global pandemics, public health emergencies, or infectious disease. The people that are working now are getting sick and dying (Amazon employees, Walmart employees, Tyson food employees, and Smithfield employees are just a few examples). Under Trump's leadership 73,207 Americans have already died of COVID-19 and the death toll is rapidly increasing. The fascist in the White House only cares about the economy and his base is too poorly educated to understand the implications of opening the country too soon. Global: coronavirus.jhu.edu/map.html Domestic: www.cnn.com/interactive/2020/health/coronavirus-us-maps-and-cases/

@voxelpixel5761 4 жыл бұрын

If u have backpain = Covid-19 // If u suffer from toes pain = Covid-19.... At this point almost (yes...almost) everyone knows what s going on here !!!!

@Iamnotabug 4 жыл бұрын

The Nazis had to go to a lot of effort to kill their scapegoats. Rounding them all up and putting em on trains, putting up concentration camps and then when those camps weren’t killing enough people, putting them through gas chambers. Trump’s administration has had an easier time causing deaths, but ironically, it seems to mostly be his supporters who are getting culled. No effort on his part when people are actively ignoring safety protocols and ending up infected, drinking bleach and other disinfectant and taking his “miracle cure.” If he had successfully done it so his opponents were the ones dying, it would have been fruitful, but now it seems it’s mostly his base that are offing themselves. Strange logic, but maybe he’s doing it for a reason. Maybe he’s letting a bunch of his base die en masse to incite hatred in the survivors towards his actual political opponents. Y’know, have em all die, but point the finger at democrats so that when his gun obsessed followers get riled up, they’ll start exterminating Democrats and other races while allowing him enough detachment to have plausible deniability.

@DrakeyC 4 жыл бұрын

There's something very ironic about Trump saying about anybody "they have no talent and no skills, how did they get that job?"

@MsVorpalBlade 4 жыл бұрын

sadly he has no idea what irony - or sarcasm - are

@traekas7228 4 жыл бұрын

Night shade, “Russia, Russia, Russia!” ~ DJT

@oldrrocr 4 жыл бұрын

IMO, that's what losers say about winners who actually EARNED IT.

@matthewfreitag1781 3 жыл бұрын

Oh this aged well. This aged sooooo well.

@philipjdry1234 4 жыл бұрын

I'm from California, I'm a moderate, the state wants to house and help the homeless, with food and drugs. Let me tell you a story, there are people, girls as young as 12, boys and teens who become homeless, people who are good people who spent their whole lives homeless, surviving the blistering heat, the crippling cold, going all day hungry without hope, without friends, without safety, every horrible thing happen to them, I knew a wheelchair kind man who got his face smashed in, and a 20yo female who had her hand split in two. Drugs are always a way for people to escape their situation, no other reason people use drugs. And don't get me started on what happens to homeless children. No matter party membership, homeless Republicans suffer just as much as homeless Democrats, Caucasians suffer just as much as minority homeless. No matter what Republicans say, no matter how intelligent they claim to be, humans are humans, they are kin, millions of Republicans depend on social services, hypocritiy does not make an intelligent person. If it costs me more taxes for the homeless to have a foundation to build upon, I'll gladly pay, if I have to work to exhaustion in the hot sun so that homeless Republicans families can have security and a good future, I'll work, that's the difference between the 3 parties. It is not every human against every human, it's us, human kind against the universe, and unless we unite far before the universe comes, whatever comes will dominate us perhaps to extinction

@timothy2204 4 жыл бұрын

philip J Dry i hope it does

@katie195 4 жыл бұрын

philip J Dry I have never been homeless or lived on the street. I worked 6-7 days a week at a stressful job.. I hated that job - but I never took drugs, showed up everyday at my employers and worked on my college degree full time. I learned very early on money is a tool that protects you from the ugliness of life and you decide the course of your life. My father taught me well. If I had done drugs, became an addict, had 5 fatherless kids, quit my job, etc etc. it would never have happened. I am of average intelligence. Nothing extraordinary. I just didn’t quit. There were days all I could muster was one foot in front of the other. People choose the course of their lives and don’t even realize it.

@maazkalim 4 жыл бұрын

Wow... Probably the rarest of rare moderate who really.. ...Lives up to the idealism behind the label. And not just invoking as a defence-tact.

@philipjdry1234 4 жыл бұрын

@@maazkalim curious what religion are you? In any case as a moderate, I see how self destructive liberals are instead of uniting they fight each other. The day they unite is the day America sees new era, one they have only dream. But that won't come for least a decade. But first and foremost, I'm a patriot, and I value core conservative ideals and respect they value of fundamental Christian ideals. But those are real conservatives, not the disgusting twisted terrorist loving people who are in charged of it and follow it today. If Satan ever took hold of a political party, it would be the Republican party today, and their anti Christ leader, Donald Trump, all religions speak of good and speak of evil, and the Republican party has shown itself to be the definition of evil, and those who follow evil. Someday maybe the Republican party will return to the best version of itself. But not today, no they have killed Americans, and have committed treason. And for that they have no place here.

@sohamc4979 3 жыл бұрын

@@philipjdry1234 I Agree.

@egdiroh 4 жыл бұрын

That’s not fair to Ringo, at the time of the breakup, he was more popular than Trump

@Formedras 4 жыл бұрын

When HASN'T Ringo been more popular than Trump?

@FourPawsInTheGrave 4 жыл бұрын

Ironic his base praises Hallelujah (G. Harrison), acts like Yoko but isn't offended that he thinks he's bigger than Jesus

@traekas7228 4 жыл бұрын

egdiroh, WAY MORE popular! Of course,...I’m more popular than Trumpty Dumbty, too, if you’re comparing.

@nickdryad 4 жыл бұрын

egdiroh Ringo is still more popular than Trump

@oldrrocr 4 жыл бұрын

LMFAO! thanks! I needed that!

@AnthonyGonzalez-lw1ek 4 жыл бұрын

Seth Meyers was on the nose , trump did run this presidency as a JOKE !!!!

@Cotcan 4 жыл бұрын

He also ran it like all his other businesses...right into the ground.

@reaperinc7752 4 жыл бұрын

To some the cost of your grandmothers live is a haircut.

@magnum8264 4 жыл бұрын

Keep up the good work Mr.Colbert, you and Mr.Meyer's are what's keeping me smiling though this crisis!

@kodyw2960 4 жыл бұрын

"Because God created humans without one." Ladies and gentlemen, we have entered a herefore unknown level of stupidity. Brace yourselves, we tread uncharted waters.

@oldrrocr 4 жыл бұрын

and there are knuckle draggers out there saying "AMEN". SMH

@robertsvon5808 4 жыл бұрын

So he sleeps naked in the park?

@mabatch3769 4 жыл бұрын

Looks like someone is trying to compete with Trump for the dumbest person ever award.

@hippodinoreserve6090 4 жыл бұрын

FinnMacCool yup. Another religious weirdo on the loose. You’ll see him again for sure.

@sohamc4979 3 жыл бұрын

@@robertsvon5808 I Guess.

@CDN_Bookmouse 4 жыл бұрын

A human life: priceless. For everything else, there's Mastercard.

@truufaxx2877 4 жыл бұрын

"And I only take a bath at Bed Bath & Beyond"..... I'm dead 💀💀💀😂😂😂😭😭😭

@mariagil2833 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you Stephen for making me pass these awful days with a smile. Thanks again.❤️❤️

@hellogoditsmesara3569 4 жыл бұрын

I think it's so sad it's recognized that the president of the United States doesn't value human life to the extent that it's joked about.

@Poppa_Capinyoaz 4 жыл бұрын

It’s a real easy question to answer. ‘If it was you that had to die, would you want to re-open the country.’

@34and0 4 жыл бұрын

it should show everyone just how important working men and women are. It was never rich pukes who drive the economy. They ride on our backs and would just as soon kill us for their stock portfolio

@ARichardP 4 жыл бұрын

Yeah, that’s true. Workers make shit happen. This all is showing how important the “common man” and common woman” are to everyone. But we do need to find ways to work and like now in some areas and everywhere soon or our economy will collapse. Got to find ways to make it safe enough so that people aren’t feeling “sacrificed”. Even then, some will die. But it’s not the same as fighting Hitler. Christie should work a lot on making better analogies.

@odonata9838 4 жыл бұрын

The title of this video perfectly captures the painful reality. It will be on many people's paychecks and tombstones.

@PFrigiano 4 жыл бұрын

Colbert- so awesome!! You always keep us laughing! 😂😂😂

@joemuseum2205 4 жыл бұрын

I am finally used to the lack of audience laughter and getting used to laughing all by myself.

@uniquelylily1166 4 жыл бұрын

Me too Joe lol

@abramporras7877 4 жыл бұрын

You've finally evolved

@videomissionary 4 жыл бұрын

Trump: "some of you may die... But that is a risk I'm willing to take"

@janedoe6704 4 жыл бұрын

Are you quoting Farquaad from Shrek?

@scottclarke2417 4 жыл бұрын

@@janedoe6704 Wait a minute, We aren't LIVING IN A SHREK MOVIE? What!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😲😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

@joinfranknow 4 жыл бұрын

TRUMP, GET BACK YOUR LIVES CUOMO: AFTER TERM ABORTIONS. EVERY LIFE MATTERS BILLBOARD IN THE CITY, MAKE AN EMERGENCY PLAN WITH YOUR FAMILY AND THEN STOP TALKING. STOP TALKING IN YOUR OWN HOME, WHERE DO YOU THINK THIS IS HEADED.

@snowangelnc4669 4 жыл бұрын

@@scottclarke2417 "Well, that explains a lot."

@scottclarke2417 4 жыл бұрын

@@joinfranknowI'm PROLIFE But, That's funny coming from the Religious Right, historically Backed GOP that is LESS CONCERNED with Racially motivated Home Grown Terrorist attacks, WARS and PANDEMICS. Despite the Obvious Disparity between the #'s of Abortions and the DEATHS By the Things they CONDONE. In the GOP, Being in POWER is More important than HUMAN LIFE, that's their M.O.

@dragonhorizon1074 4 жыл бұрын

Steve, you got me through some of the loneliest ( 🎶Mr.Lonely🎶) unbelievably nightmarish ( according to my television) times the last few years, how...why....💖

@TheJustAamir 4 жыл бұрын

Make this president a reality TV host, that's all he wants to be. Leave the presidency and important decision making to adults 😂🤣

@1jediwitch 4 жыл бұрын

“The rich are different from us,” F. Scott Fitzgerald is said to have remarked to Ernest Hemingway, to which Hemingway allegedly replied, “Yes, they have more money.” The exchange, although it never actually took place, sums up a wisdom Fitzgerald had that eluded Hemingway. The rich are different. The cocoon of wealth and privilege permits the rich to turn those around them into compliant workers, hangers-on, servants, flatterers and sycophants. Wealth breeds, as Fitzgerald illustrated in “The Great Gatsby” and his short story “The Rich Boy,” a class of people for whom human beings are disposable commodities. Colleagues, associates, employees, kitchen staff, servants, gardeners, tutors, personal trainers, even friends and family, bend to the whims of the wealthy or disappear. Once oligarchs achieve unchecked economic and political power, as they have in the United States, the citizens too become disposable. ~ Chris Hedges

@VivaLaVittoria 4 жыл бұрын

Plot twist: He thinks this IS all a giant reality TV show (ie. most of it is fake and staged), and doesn't actually realize he is the real president.

@michaelschweigart3517 4 жыл бұрын

If, {GULP}, he wins again in November, he'll probably will make his next four years into a reality show

@pepitka1234 4 жыл бұрын

" How do they get a job?" i was hoping that he will answer " yes we are thinking exactly the same about you... every day!"

@inventorofmachines 4 жыл бұрын

nah that has been said countless times. This joke is funnier. "married the daughter of Donald CBS" hehehe

@thisismetoday 4 жыл бұрын

This is nothing short of hilarious. "We haven't even gone through our first wave" " *Exactly* - Let's open up. Whoop whoop" The US is screwed.

@caroljomartin3051 4 жыл бұрын

I trust the science, not the orange turd. I'll go out when scientists say it's safe. It's Darwinism at it's finest! The terminally stupid will die off. And good riddance. I'm sick of flat earthers, creationists, anti-vaxxers and religious fundamentalists telling me how I should live.

@whiskeylamb4324 4 жыл бұрын

@@caroljomartin3051 So, you should let the scientists tell you how to live? Science sometimes isn't as sound as it is

@funkymunky8787 4 жыл бұрын

@@whiskeylamb4324 science is the best tool we have for understanding the world. What alternative do you suggest?

@christianrincon9171 4 жыл бұрын

That model joke FLOORED me

@mikaylamoss6125 4 жыл бұрын

Me to Trump: "How did you get your job?!"

@sohamc4979 3 жыл бұрын

@Kaptain Kid Trump University

@user-wu7ug4ly3v 4 жыл бұрын

2:34 “TRANSMISSION ACCOMPLISHED” 😂

@TonesDroneVisuals 4 жыл бұрын

The Covid-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society. They fear that the social distancing measures could push people over the edge

@lucienelson 4 жыл бұрын

Light Grey Nomad 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣👋👋👋👋

@shizuokaBLUES 4 жыл бұрын

Very good , very very good

@Heather_T 4 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@hollyh501 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you Stephen and team for your brilliant humour. Lots of laugh out loud moments. JUST what I needed. I really do appreciate all of you for helping raise our spirits. It’s also a comfort (sadly) to know that it’s not only the U.K. that have made a complete hash of guarding is against this pandemic.