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Dating apps are not keeping me single. I'm doing a terrific job at that myself.

I always feel weird saying I met my girlfriend online, because people tend to assume 'dating app' when the reality is 'Transformers fanfiction'.

Is there ANYTHING this girl doesn't do??? She's an artist, a game designer, a math major, a researcher...I'm impressed.

"People get overwhelmed with too many choices, burn out, and give up." Lol, that requires me to get a match in the first place.

Boyfri(end) Girlfri(end) Soup Only soup has no end

Feeling lucky that I met my husband on an app and he ISN'T a can of soup (as far as I can tell)

Girls: Choice overload is a real problem. Guys: Tumbleweed and cricket sounds

"I can't find a date, there's only soup." "Well then get off the soup profile!" "There's just more soup." "Go to the next profile!" "It's still soup." "What app are you on?" "I'm on soup!" "Why are you trying to date on a soup app!?!"

"I'm at Soup" "WHY ARE YOU FINDING LOVE IN THE SOUP STORE?!"

Heres my stats as a straight male. One month on hinge i got roughly 60 matches. Of those matches 45 didnt even respond to a conversation starter to get the ball rolling. Of the 15 that responded, 6-7 stopped after 1-2 messages. 3 were dry texters and 2 were long conversationalists. The last 5 lead to dates that went nowhere. Id like to think that if just talked to some of the people around me in my daily life that i could have found just as many dates instead of the hours i wasted swiping messaging and responding.

The business goal of a dating app is... to keep you using the dating app!

Last time I used a dating app, men kept asking me if I really had to use my wheelchair and cane because "that's not really attractive". It's very different when you're disabled and wondering if the person behind the screen is going to message you with "why weren't you aborted" or get incredibly creepy with a fetish and the things they wanted to do to me.

I know this wasn’t the point, but I really want a dating app for the undead now.

Interestingly enough, "I got chicken even though I answered 'no' to 'do I like meat in my soup,'" pretty well sums up my frustration with dating apps.

As a huge introvert that never goes out, dating apps are a blessing to me. All my relationships that came from dating apps were smoother and easier, without dating apps I'd definitely be single. I think people use dating apps the wrong way, Its not about reeling in as much as you can then choosing its about reeling in one at a time i.e. matching, then have a short conversation if it doesn't lead anywhere release until you find one that sparks and you focus on that one match. Remember this ain't Mambo no.5

"If you match with someone who is highly desirable your own rating goes up." That explains why my rating is so low.

"dating apps are bad because they give you too many options and paralyze you" *looks at my 3 matches in 3 months* ... wut?

One of the most cliché pickup lines in Hebrew is "Is your dad a gardener? No? Then how come you're such a flower?" The thing is, my dad IS a gardener, so people who try to use that line on me often get surprised and forget what they were going for.

I’m not saying race bias is amplified *BUT* the week I moved to a non white country I got 8x the number of matches, with the same pics and bio. (There’s clearly a race preference which is perfectly ok but tinder is most likely amplifying that greatly)

Dating apps will keep you single because in the back of your mind, you always consider whether you can do better. I met my husband in real life and I'm very happy I did.

Dating apps are as broken as the ice cream machine at McDonald's

Each gender complains that dating apps suck for different reasons. Dating apps suck for heterosexual women because of choice overload like Sabrina says. They’re presented with a lot of potential options and a lot of matches but have trouble finding the “right” guy from among their matches. For women the “work” of dating begins after the match when they have filter out from a large number of matches if a guy is “worth” a date and then if he is worth a relationship. This is the process women complain about and find exhausting, spending hours in bland conversations and filtering through 🍆 pics. Most men have trouble just getting a match in the first place, so when they do match they don’t suffer from choice overload as much. But even after matching, because the woman they match with has so many matches to choose from they struggle to stand out and be chosen for a date. Even once they get a date there is a high likelihood of things not working out and the woman choosing another guy fir a relationship. This is what men complain about. Ironically this leads to a game theory problem where both sides pursue strategies that aim to benefit themselves, but end up making both sides worse off. Men must try to swipe/match with as many women as possible since they are less likely to match and to get a date after matching. Which means that women are more likely to match with men who are not that interested in them and makes it harder for them to find ones they are compatible with. It also means that the men she matches with cannot invest much time/emotionally in her since they need to maximize the number of women they are talking to at any given time since the likelihood of getting a date with any one of them is low. Any time invested in a match that doesn’t work out is high cost for the man. On the opposite side, women have so many matches that they cannot invest time into all of them and have to hope the man will work to earn her attention and form an emotional connection with her. Even once you get to the date you end up with an end state where the woman has a constant supply of men banging down her door trying to get her attention most of whom don’t want to invest in her and the man is forced to constantly pursue multiple women none of whom he can really invest in (because if that date doesn’t work out it’ll take him 3 months to get another match), which makes it hard for either of them make the connection needed to form a relationship.

(Hetero male) I've been on dating apps for almost a year. About 60 matches where 10% responds, 2 dates which lead to nothing. It's better to stay single. they all expect maximum results and give minimun effort

so glad youtube recommended me this! My approach to online dating is being extremely picky (this probs only works for girls because we're inundated with matches). I mainly use hinge because you can choose to just swipe through people who have liked you. I also don't swipe impulsively, I look at a profile and if I'm interested I leave the app and come back a couple of days later and if I'm still interested I swipe right. This means I am generally only messaging one person at a time and so far I have only spoken to people who I genuinely have lots in common with and get on well with! It takes longer but I'd rather spend a long time looking for the right person than get to know someone I'm not compatible with. The reason I do this is because dating makes me anxious so I don't want to be overwhelmed but watching this video has made me realise that it probably actually works better than just swiping aimlessly. I haven't had any horrific experiences so I'd recommend trying it this way if you're looking for something serious :)

i mean, i have been thinking this for years: "their point is to get a lot of matches, not good ones... since if it worked really well those people would stop using the app and the app goes out of business"

Dating apps suck because the point of entry is how you look, and the endless options (which aren't necessarily within your grasps) create FOMO so people are hesitant to commit. This doesn't apply to soup which explains why soups are better than dating.

I think the reason I hate dating apps (and most modern dating in general) so much is that the main focus of them is to "market" yourself to put out this "best" version of yourself as a product that is mostly a shallow facade in hopes that what? Someone who's facade you like also likes yours? So you can sit together in a bar/restaurant lying to each other about who you are so you can maybe get idk a second date or mediocre sex as some kind of payment for your performance? None of that sounds like love to me. Sounds more like a lot of unsatisfying effort for something that usually ends in disapointment. Kinda like job hunting.

The Hatoful Boyfriend cameo in the middle caught me WAY off guard, but as someone who has played through both games more than 3 times each, it made me extremely happy to see. If you ever get the chance to, you should play it through to the end, it’s a FANTASTICALLY written subversive visual novel with psychological horror elements and a blast to play with friends 👏👏👏

Me a 16 year old who has no plans of dating: ah yes, soup dating

The title alone made me immediately realize that of course it's a pretty giant conflict of interest when you make money off of people *getting to know as many people as possible*, not of them actually finding somebody they'll stick with

I hate dating apps so much. No matter what I try with my bio and how good my photos are, I get like no matches at all. And when I do, they don't reply. It destroys my confidence completely

Choice overload is only one aspect of the problem of too many choices. The more significant issue, I think, is a kind of cognitive illusion--when you learn about a drawback to one match, there's a very strong temptation to throw that one back, because there are a million other people about whom you haven't yet learned any drawbacks. They do, in fact, all have their own drawbacks; you just don't know those yet. A side effect of this is that it punishes any admission of imperfections in a profile. Unfortunately, a huge part of actual matching is finding people who accept your imperfections and vice versa. By hiding all that, we make it pretty impossible to actually make any good matches. I don't have a solution to this, but I think it's a pretty big problem.

"The problem with dating apps is that you have too much choice" **Wait**? You guys are getting matches?

the problem with online dating is that it focuses on traits that doesn't matter in a relationship and also matches people who aren't looking for the same things in a relationship. Another problem is people don't know what they want in relationship

I think this choice overload is mainly a womens problem on the apps. For men, you swipe whoever looks kinda cute or kinda nice and/or has a not toally cringe bio and then you wait for the 1 /100.000 to write back to you. It is not a game of choice, it is a game of improving your statisical chance to match through sheer mass.

That's actually true. So much options and you never invest your time and effort on one or two. Compare that to natural partnerships where you were exposed to a limited number of people. 1. It forces you to focus on a small sample size. (A small sample size allows you to pace yourself and really get a good look at people and their quirks and virtues.) 2. You keep in contact with them even if you find traits you don't like that force you to get to know them better. (Online apps and online dating in general is terrible at this because as soon as a partner does something remotely displeasing you can always bail with little to no consequences.) 3. You adjust your standards to fit the available pool. (Pick one or pick none. It's your choice.)

I got UNREASONABLY excited when Sabrina said the soup dating game is going in the newsletter.

Wait wait wait, if apps have desirability rankings...is that like a straight-up list, or more like tiers? Tiers make more sense, but I really like the idea of someone being the #1 ranked user on Tindr and Tindr employees just watching the rankings go up and down, them having a favorite user and rooting for them to rise, the underdog who's been in 7th for months finally rise up to #3...

I think what’s annoying about these apps is that it makes you have to sell the best version of yourself possible which is unrealistic in the first place. I want to be me and I want connections to feel organic not forced. I’m about to just make a mini breakout room for people wanting to meet. They sit in a room for 10 minutes with another person and do an activity together. At the end you each separate and move on to the next room but before you do, your app asks you if you would like to save that persons contact info. You got through 3 or so breakout rooms and at the end you leave alone. If you found someone you enjoyed spending that time with then great you can message them since you already shared an experience. If you didn’t then cool move on. You still probably had fun either way. Just an idea

"Computer go boop, boop, boop, found your soulmate." made me laugh

There is also reporting that suggests that some dating apps don’t actually prioritize making matches so much as keeping users active.

Oh so this is how dating apps suck. Yeah that makes total sense. I simply can't choose because of the many choices I'm presented with... We all are, right? It's certainly not that we're not getting a single match after months and years of trying, right? That would be silly.

I love that my algorithm put you as a recommendation. Love your videos, have been watching them all afternoon

Lesson learned: Soup>Romance

"If your dating [...] experience sucks, maybe just slow down for a second" Alright, imma slow down and go from [0] to [0].

In my group all 4 of us found our SO on dating apps. I think the key is knowing the qualities u want and being clear on what are your future goals. We all know what we want and are slowly getting married to our SO one by one now. I met a lot of people but I kinda knew who are the ones I meet just to expand my network and who are long term. Personally enjoy OKC cos u can read questions and see how serious people are through how they answer

I'm way to socially awkward and/or shy to talk with a girl that I'm interested in while presenting myself as a posible partner (what normal people knows as flirting), so I can assure you that I'll remain single for the rest of my life regardless of the usage of any dating app xD

Just in time to remind me of my singleness before Valentine's

My friend met her long-term boyfriend on Tinder and she knows how freaking rare that is. We joked that she used up all her luck on finding a steady partner via Tinder and that's why it's so hard for her to find a job.

Liking and commenting on this to show appreciation for all the work that went into it! Thas video was incredibly entertaining, also you designed a whole game for this omg

I never got into dating apps. There's a distinct difference between what someone says on an app and what they do in real life. One person can upload a time they went rock climbing once a few years ago and claim its their hobby meanwhile someone who does rock climbing daily might not even think/care to take photos of such an everyday (at least to them) activity. This is why I think it's better to get a social hobby where you meet the same folks often and create bonds.

"Am I a boomer?" If you think soup is controversial. wait till you get to tea.

How are we not going to talk about how good the art in the soup game is???? Like did it need to be so well drawn???

Your animations are always so clean! Lovely stuff

The biggest problem i found with dating apps is how its always the same three accounts: Snapchat/Whatsapp ad accounts, profile not filled out ("ask me lol"), or those who all like the same things (coffee, The Office, hiking, "having fun") It's boring!

If you’re a dude, stay away from dating apps if you want to keep your self-esteem intact. Her talking about choice overload is something that women experience on the apps, not for the vast majority of men.

I kind of gave up on dating apps tbh. There’s so much harmful energy, disappointment and anxiety that I got from Grindr, Tinder etc. Like... I wanna go back to old school forms of bumping into people like in a cafe or in a bar. My parents met in a hospital (yes not exactly the most romantic story), but an interesting one nonetheless. 😪

“People get overwhelmed with too many choices.” Me, who only gets 2 matches a week if I’m lucky.

This video was amazing! Interesting idea and wonderful presentation. Thank you so much, I really enjoyed it.

What's the opposite of choice overload where you literally don't match with anybody? Asking for uh... a can of soup.

In my experience with dating apps (specifically Tinder because that’s the only when I ever really used) back before I met my gf, the main issue wasn’t an option overload, but more like the opposite. I wouldn’t get matches very often, and when I did, I would try my best to start a good conversation, but most of those conversations wouldn’t go anywhere, and it seemed like they weren’t interested. Out of the entire year or so that I used the app, I only ever actually was able get a single date out of it, and that was with my current gf of 2 and a half years.

I just got this recommended to me and it's wildly relevant to my life right now, thank you! I joined a dating app and from the point of me uploading pics to the point of me finishing writing a lengthy bio I got 69 likes (nice [not nice]). It was so overwhelming that I closed the app and have been finding it really hard to give it any attention at all. I appreciate this video for reminding me that that's just the normal human reaction and there's nothing wrong with me, and that I can do something as simple as just open the app, swipe left or right on a predetermined number of people, close it, and call that a personal success.

You are so weird. And hardworking. About very strange subjects. And I love it

I think part of an issue is that people don't seem to be able to hold a conversation anymore. I often find that after asking a question, a lot of people answer very briefly and not ask back. So the entire convo looks like an interview rather than real human conversation like they'd have face to face.

I feel like the choice overload issue is primarily an issue with women. I don't know any guy who gets more than a few matches/month.

Felt like this video catered more towards females where choice was abundant. My thought would be that the one of the issues dating app faces is the proportions of male vs female that are on the app; where there are too many guys essentially. This leaves the females with an ever expanding list of matches at their doorstep. This also leads to the females on the app getting more jaded the longer they remain on the app.

I seriously love this channel

This may be flying a little close to conspiracy land, but I am curious if perhaps dating apps not super working is on purpose... Like, its a huge industry and they want to keep going, if you actually found your match, you'd stop using the app. Actual matches mean less users, means less profit. So the company is most incentivized to make the app appear effective, while actually being as ineffective as they can get away with.

Sabrina could've just released the vid on valentines day but thank god she spared us the pain

I tried dating apps and choice overload was awful, I hate texting and I'd have like 15 new people in my chats daily despite being super selective, the apps just didn't give enough filtering options for what actually matters like lifestyle personality interests hobbies etc, have to find that out through drawn out dms or too many sketchy first dates where you don't know if you will be kidnapped or not. Then you do finally meet people who seemed ok online irl and they just are awful. Finding someone offline was so much better.

I’ll break it down. 1- people with good confidence are barely on those apps (might include you) 2- people who are good looking are barely on those apps (might include you) 3- women are scared of meeting with a stranger 4- some people there are too anxious to talk or meet 5- there’s this feeling of abundance you can get from these apps, like you’re out there, so you cherry pick people who don’t even like you or use the apps much. Here’s what I have to say. These apps will make you feel like nobody likes you. Stop trying to be funnier, look better, say the right things, or time things. The truth is that nobody respects these apps because of how much time they waste even after long deep conversations. Also there are bots and glitches that are very shady. The easy route is to think the other person all of a sudden doesn’t like you anymore, but think about it, apps rather keep you there hopeful and paying, and as soon as you stop using you start getting likes, and those likes respond 1/10 times. It’s partly rigged. Try to not label these thoughts as salty. The apps know about this. It’s not just you and it’s not just people is what I’m saying. The apps are intentionally keeping you on them. They are definitely not worth subscriptions.

- Watches a video suggesting that dating apps give you too many matches - Looks at my matches - Cries

Choice overload? Not my experience with dating sites. More like "Wow, I thought I was worth a date. I'm I that ugly? Why am sending so many messages with no responses".

This was a fascinating look at dating apps. I prefer a much-more analogue way of meeting people. It's messier, but I think the tradeoff is more opportunity to get to know people versus an overwhelming number of choices.

first of all, your content is some of the most engaging in this platform. I love your energy. secondly, I hate dating apps. I just deleted tinder again and now I'm watching this lol

I felt so stupid at the end after realizing this was made for women. "Slow down for a sec and put more effort into getting to know people rather than just swiping back and forth" Complete opposite experience of what men go through on dating apps lol

Choice overload? *cough* yeah that's totally the issue I have with dating apps.

The best reason for why dating apps suck was briefly mentioned at the beginning. They’re for-profit. The faster you find a match, the lower their profit.

Thinking that dating apps' purpose is finding you a date / fuckbuddy is like thinking casinos' purpose is letting their customers earning money.

this woman coded an entire game, with really good drawings, to show that dating apps suck. i wish someone showed me that kind of dedication but i don't think anyone shows anyone that kind of dedication

Stop after the 9th date??!!! I have never even gotten a single match. But knowing that people who get matches aren't happy either, makes me feel more ok with my situation I guess.

8:50 WHERE ARE YOU? I'M AT SOUP!

Lol I met my wife on Bumble. We’re married with a child and super happy.

"There are two options, and I have two friends, so naturally... IT'S TIME TO DO EXPERIMENTS ON THEM" As you should, Sabrina. As you should.

I really want to see Sungwon Cho (aka ProZD) voice the entire soup game. He did Chair-em Anime, he can do Soup Groupies.

I completely agree. Also, let's talk about how dating apps are designed, guiding you more to the discovery of new people than to generate a deeper conversation with the ones you already matched. They are generating FOMO consciously.

I’ve never even matched with 9 people…ever. I hate algorithms, they do not get me and I miss out on things I would have liked because of this.

I used okCupid due to some pretty bad social anxiety, never dated & I'm kinda awkward. I just laid it out like how it is & was honest about myself, interests. Never used the upgrades. 2 swipes, long nights of conversations. My then girlfriend, is now my dear wife on 5 years strong & happy to go long. Love & connections can come from every neck of the woods 🧡💖

I feel like any discussion of the horrifying reality of dating apps (at least, heterosexual dating) is incomplete without a consideration of gender norms. The experience of online dating sucks for both men and women, but it sucks in wildly different ways, and I think dismissing the difference with a euphemism about "donkey kongs" falls extremely short.

Dating app causes decision paralysis. Yes. I totally am familiar with this issue and definitely have never spent a year on tinder getting a total of about 5 matches, each of which did not respond to me. That definitely never happened And I am definitely just as cool as the rest of you.

I don’t understand why they can’t show everybody to everyone and let us decide like they are purposely messing with peoples lives living us all single and lonely thinking it’s us but it’s so much more😂

0:38 "unsolicited Donkey Kongs" that feel when you only have a Diddy Kong 😔

I can't believe there's dating ELO. There's- dating ELO exists. I'm not even at the soup part yet. Dating ELO broke me y'all

I found that I needed to invest at least ten hours a week into a dating apps (an hour a day swiping and chatting + three hours once a week to meet someone) it was exhausting and frustrating and not a good use of my time. So I've given up on the apps and now volunteer and go to fitness class with that time which has exposed me to more compatible people who live nearby with similar schedules and priorities. I've let my friends/family/colleagues know I'm open to meeting anyone they think I might get along with. I have only been on a few dates with this strategy but they've been very low stress, less like interviews, more honest and more likely to end up staying in contact as friends. So saying "Hi, it's totally OK if you would prefer not to, but can I give you my number?" to people I meet who seem cute/interesting is my new swipe right.

Thoroughly enjoyed this video. Subbed!

Never did dating app but my children charter school receptionist use my information from kids registration documents to open dating accounts with our information in agreements with their dad lover at the time obsess with my personal live. Really felt the school needed to fire her but Miss Evans director of school did nothing, betray us and attacked us for being single mother. I needed to date someone by force until we were getting cyber bully and stalked since 2015. We had to homeschool the kids and move out of area to protect ourselves from sexual predators trying to find our address. Renaissance charter school at Poinciana is the worst school so far from all the chartered school we attended, the staff is horrible.. I hate school staff using data to benefit themselves and normally are from NYC never fails. Dating apps are very much for desperate people. I do not waste my time with cyber creeps needing a hug.

This seems like a video talking more about women’s problem when it comes to dating. Because men have the opposite problem of choice overload, in that there are non at all.

"how dating apps keep you single" *perhaps i am a dating app*

i've went on a few dates from a dating site, and i think i'd have better results if i just asked out random females at the grocery store.