Envy isn't just want or desire, it is destroying what the other has. 🎯
@cledosliop41757 ай бұрын
Well said.
@jameshunt64147 ай бұрын
Interesting take. I am going to think about that. I think you've got something there.
@AlexLouiseWest7 ай бұрын
Agreed. It’s possible to want something and then aspire to improve your life, rather than trying to ruin things for someone else.
@lishmahlishmah7 ай бұрын
@@AlexLouiseWest *Perfectly true* also for the Christian religious law
@lishmahlishmah7 ай бұрын
Teresa 🖐️ there's a reply to your post here for you... Somewhere... With tech issues, as usual. Hope you can see it . Anyhow, Happy New Year 🌹✨🌹🌹✨✨✨✨
@laurakhaydon7 ай бұрын
Yes! I'm not even really religious but my grandma who was very pious gave me a copy of Corinthians 1 13 for my 21st birthday. It describes what love is and what it isn't. Many years later, I realised it's a way out of the maze for those of us who have narcissistic parents. It took me a long time to understand the message that I think grandma was trying to send me: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
@t_nels7 ай бұрын
I too feel my grandmother had a lot to do with my faith. 🌹
@acfatemi7 ай бұрын
@@t_nels I was close to my grandmother and she passed her faith on and taught me. My sister wasn’t ”shipped off” to our grandmother as much as me and I realise now while writing this, that not only did my grandmother save me but the spiritual impact accounts for why I and my sister are in a ”no contact relationship” now as we are not able to understand eachother. My sis is a total narc and my mother has tendencies
@theresesilvawalker84077 ай бұрын
Thank you for this. I assumed everybody knew this, felt this, aspired to this. I was very much mistaken! He does the exact opposite of most of it!
@flowers65767 ай бұрын
@laurakhaydon: I have relied on and held this verse close to my heart and soul all of my life, and tried my best to be faithful to it. Now, after being with my husband (6 yrs) + married (22) years, this scripture absolutely breaks my heart. Why? Bc I believe in it *SO* deeply, yet it seems to be a unicorn fairy tale in today's society. ( no blasphemy intended)
@M_SC7 ай бұрын
Yes. But Corinthians also says slavery is ok and selling your daughter into it
@JustaNobody-j8x7 ай бұрын
What the narcissist really wants is more of what they have and when they get more, they still want more. They’re never satisfied.
@cc1k4357 ай бұрын
So true, no balance. Just always looking for more to consume. 😢
@melisentiapheiffer30347 ай бұрын
Truth
@breakingboardrooms17787 ай бұрын
"His greed is as wide as Sheol, and like death, is not satisfied.
@melisentiapheiffer30347 ай бұрын
@@cc1k435 Even by trying to steal our energy through constantly trying to provoke us.
@NarcSurvivor7 ай бұрын
Gluttony and greed sounds like narcissism to me!
@sandeep_k557 ай бұрын
Primarily jealousy
@begentlebutdontallowshit25497 ай бұрын
To whoever is reading this keep going, you're doing fine! No matter how slow your progress, each new week is filled with tiny steps forward. Be proud of yourself you got this! Wishing you the greatest 2024! ❤
@Rose196957 ай бұрын
Thank you. You too! ❤
@artifundio17 ай бұрын
Thank you for this kind message! I hope you have a great 2024 too ❤
@nialeilakande7 ай бұрын
@@Rose19695❤❤❤❤❤
@nialeilakande7 ай бұрын
❤❤❤thanks ❤❤❤needed to see this ❤❤❤wishing you the same and more and praying 🤲🏾 for you
@OP-qf7qg7 ай бұрын
Thank you
@touchofgrace32177 ай бұрын
Once I started looking into narcissism, I came to realize that the signs of narcissism are symptoms of not only rejecting God but embracing oneself as their own god. Narcissism is the spiritual consequence of literally making yourself a god.
@jhoughjr17 ай бұрын
The narc I have the most xp with does think himself as god. It’s sickening.
@touchofgrace32177 ай бұрын
If you think about it. The first one to reject God and strive to be one was Satan. It tracks that naturally their behavior would also deny righteousness.
@ShelleyFayles7 ай бұрын
Yep! First narcissist. @@touchofgrace3217
@Godisgreat-7777 ай бұрын
What has been most interesting and horrifying for me…is that I have been witnessing firsthand, that the majority of the most narcissistic people I’ve ever met, are also self professing Christians. I know several “self professing Christians” who also seem to believe they are somehow exempt from God’s commandments. It’s no wonder so many people don’t believe in God. It’s quit sad actually.
@ShelleyFayles7 ай бұрын
Same! @@Godisgreat-777
@anne-mariewoloszyn11947 ай бұрын
As a practicing Roman Catholic, all I have to say Dr. Ramani is VERY, VERY WELL DONE! Happy New Year! 🎊🎆 🎉
@davidsalo83977 ай бұрын
Yes, narcissism has been around for a long time. It seems like it's exploding now.
@momsnewlife11977 ай бұрын
I agree Ann. I am going to study more into this during Lent again this year.
@M_SC7 ай бұрын
As an atheist I was actually thinking the same thing
@erinward29837 ай бұрын
Despite being raised in the Roman Catholic church, my narcissistic parent manages to find workarounds, giving himself permission to engage in all of these behaviors while calling others out as horrible people for the same. This is such an interesting connection! Spot on Dr. Ramani!
@pamwhitehouse59617 ай бұрын
My family, too. I'm not perfect either. I rely on them for motivation, validation when I do things to help, but the last thing I want to do is hurt or disappointed, or disrespect anyone, or overstep any of their boundaries. Yet all I wish for is some guidelines and some helpful measures to help me to become even more independent and perhaps useful for others in need. Especially for my Dad who is supposedly at the end of his life due to a battle with cancer. I believe the cancer part and it's severity, but can't believe even in the fact that he is supposed to receive hospice care at home. His wish is to be in the comfort of his own home until the end, whenever that might be, it could be weeks, months, or even years. But he obviously wants it dealt with HIS OWN WAY.
@pamwhitehouse59617 ай бұрын
My family is the exact same way, and they only strive to do things to ONLY suit their needs and what benefits them. U see more of that within the medical field, too. My faith in other human beings is truly starting to wane, extremely. I am aware of my own mistakes, too, for as a result, I sand to gain nothing , and I have been completely disowned by my Dad and siblings.
@t_nels7 ай бұрын
@erinwind2983 My parents didn't practice but held me to standards they didn't hold to. My father is back to church now.
@t_nels7 ай бұрын
@@pamwhitehouse5961My father is going through the same with cancer. My mother chose to cancel his consultations. I don't think he would have survived the treatment but he never had the chance to try.
@acfatemi7 ай бұрын
@@t_nels going to confession as well? I think many like ”social club” and sort of the culture, but do not really have the faith. At some point everybody need to do a personal conversion, leave the crowd & let God work on oneself through the sacraments
@Rose196957 ай бұрын
From a Catholic viewpoint, lust isn't merely about uncontrolled sexual desire. It is about using another person to serve your own desires.
@Seanus327 ай бұрын
I'm not saying I disagree but why do you think so? I live in a Catholic country and can easily imagine what you are saying is true.
@winning33297 ай бұрын
@@Seanus32 Jesus christ invented the catholic religion and it is the only religion with proof of being around during the time that Jesus christ was on earth.
@winning33297 ай бұрын
Also I want to add that Jesus christ said that there would be snakes in his temple. Bad people are everywhere.
@piratekid17 ай бұрын
@@Seanus32that's literally what the Church says, based on scripture. Matthew 5:28 "anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart". The point is wishing to control someone else, as well as actually trying to control, are frowned upon
@Seanus327 ай бұрын
Totally agree. I have no desire to control anyone but was controlled by a narc. I had to take it back.@@piratekid1
@user-um9sl1kj6u7 ай бұрын
Exactly. The 7 deadly sins Literally Describe Narcissism. I went to Catholic School for Many Years, Including Highschool. Everything you describe is what they taught us to avoid all our lives.
@lisagrimes48017 ай бұрын
I saw my raging narcissistic father at his deathbed in hospice. I was 46, enduring all those years of narcissistic abuse. What surprised me the most is that he knew that I knew and would hardly look at me. He died with that.
@Positively467 ай бұрын
Yes they are aware. Sorry and hope you are now well.
@keithstewart75147 ай бұрын
What a blessing to lose ur Narc father at such a young age (46)! My mum is healthy @ 85. Brother, father narcissistic fully too
@Positively467 ай бұрын
Just very angry humans til the end it’s mind boggling.
@user-qv9nw1dq2f7 ай бұрын
It all clicks so well. Narcissistic behaviour is evil and it has got its roots in malevolence and evil that has always been out there. Thank you dr Ramani ❤
@M_SC7 ай бұрын
I don’t think has roots in is the actual order. It has roots in emotional neglect in childhood. It then becomes malevolent or evil
@dzizzle85457 ай бұрын
@@M_SCbaloney. It's nice to see these videos are semi-popular because it gives me hope that these boys are learning how to avoid triggering narcissists. Y'all gotta let us work; our work is important! Lol
@lisagrimes48017 ай бұрын
My narcissistic father and brother always had an empty glass that could never be filled; status, prestige, image, affairs and on and on and on.
@michaelmorrison65407 ай бұрын
You gave a very accurate description of my ex-wife (and her mother and sibling). I divorced her after 3 children and 26 years of absolute insanity and abuse. My live is so peaceful now, and I am way smarter now that I know what narcissism is. Thank you, Doctor Ramani.
@debrawalters97467 ай бұрын
I’m flabbergasted! My husband is a vulnerable, covert, narcissist. I had no idea that his addiction to pornography, slothfulness and gluttony were all part of his narcissism! I’m still processing…
@jodimcdonough6697 ай бұрын
As a practicing Catholic, you seem to have mostly nailed it. !!!!Of course, I have witnessed many nrc folks within the church, those who identify themselves as Christians ,at every single level in the Church. It is a hospital for souls. I am a work in progress . The saying I remind myself of…”.don’t throw the baby out with the bath water”. I don’t let it lead me to discouragement .( although it can be an ongoing struggle to forgive and try not to judge
@user-zw6zd4xb6y7 ай бұрын
Our adult sin cut us off years ago and it hurts so much! He was constantly trying to get my goat and especially his father's goat, lol. Our friends at church never understood our son's single earring (on the gay earlobe) and also died his hair, played the violin, took ballet class. Then later married a man and adopted 3 children from a sh*thole country yet still expected us to care once he walked away. Of course it hurts but the embearrasiment he gave to us isancient history and we have healed.
@kenlange61517 ай бұрын
Greed is like a dog that is always sniffing out an opportunity to take things or take advantage of. Gluttony is when a person already has an abundance over their needs and still can't be satisfied. Lust is that drive that won't let a person sit still till they get what they want.
@Greenawareness1887 ай бұрын
@kenlange6151 , Thanks for that unique perspective .
@yuu_miran7 ай бұрын
Happy new year to everyone! Let this new year be better than the previous one, less toxic, with less narcissism in our lives and with more hope and positive things even if they are small🎉
@netlizard7 ай бұрын
Happy New Year! 🎉 ☺️
@brightbite7 ай бұрын
Absolutely genius re-framing of the 7 Toxic Human Behaviors, Dr. Ramani! (And I think most theologians would heartily agree with your conclusions.) You could wrote an entire book on just this!
@ShilpiDasChohanitsshilpisvoice7 ай бұрын
How beautifully you have explained the associated between the 7 sins with narcissism! Nowadays we often hear about self-love that I mostly find is borderline narcissism. How does one understand the difference between Narcissism and Self-love? Could you please make a video educating people about this?
@stefaniamirri11127 ай бұрын
Narcissists have only their interest in mind, so what they do..if they go "extramiles" it is just toward the person they are in codependency with, and with those from which they can get something or from helping whom they can show off in the society as good hearted people. A self caring person does things without any intention to manipulate the way how they are aperceived by others. Self caring means one cares of others but also finds time to care of themselves. Narcissist are not concerned by others, nor yo hurt others, but only of how can can be judged by who looks at them. So every caring action is purported at the exclusive purpose to gain a positive regard by the external world. To look good, is way more important than being a good person. And btw narcissists think to be very good hearted people
@aynilaa7 ай бұрын
Self-love (or better: self-acceptance) is healthy if you know your strengths and weaknesses, are fine with them, have integrity and a stable ego. Basically, if you're the opposite of a narcissist and are absolutely fine with that.
@extremeclipper7 ай бұрын
Jesus said "love others AS you love yourself" not "love others and NOT yourself" or "love yourself and not others." By practicing the same love toward ourselves that we extend to other people, we fulfill those words.
@theneatlist4077 ай бұрын
Self love is when you respect yourself, it’s not when you use it to crap on others. It’s really the intent. It’s not self love to be evil. It’s self love to create boundaries, and take care of you and your kids, not to hurt another person.
@pinkpaprika84107 ай бұрын
The Catechism of the Catholic Church contains a description of the kind of people who are likely to end up in hell - through their own choices: it’s those who always want to have their own will over God’s will. I find that this description could equally apply to narcissists. Narcissists make themselves miserable through their selfish choices, but they also appear to want to spread their negative attitude to other people, like, I envy you, therefore you must envy me; I am unhappy, therefore you must be unhappy too… Suddenly, you realise that Hell is indeed a very real thing.
@ol70797 ай бұрын
Yup! Thanks to your channel I was able to discover that my great grandmother (born in 19 th century) was a narcissist and that is why she caused so much mess and destruction in the family in generations to come, a mystery my family has been trying to resolve for generations, they couldn’t figure out her behavior, all the theories they had and confusion around was she good or bad after all? And I thought to myself, since when has narcissism been around?
@brandonhealy71587 ай бұрын
I have been through a similar problem.. not quite as long as yours though. We think my paternal grandparents started the narcissistic abuse cycle. They kept breeding so they have 5 narcissistic children and they have all gone on to have children and it’s hard to break the chain of narcissism, but we will get there. Hopefully this cancel culture can cancel out narcs; I really hope so.
@cyndim87857 ай бұрын
My Grandmother would send her Grandkids to the store to pick up a pack of cigarettes, eight pack glass bottles of Coca Cola. She would have us also grab two candy bars, she kept them for herself.
@marvinasimswewinqueendom25437 ай бұрын
This is an excellent analogy of those decepticons! I usually quote the scripture: “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy… Thank you for adding to my repertoire of scriptures to describe the spawns of Satan.
@orielwiggins22257 ай бұрын
Oh yes! Thank you! This was a great deeper dive. Having grown up in churches that learn heavily on twisted interpretations of these standards, this is really clearly laid out and makes so so much sense. If this is what we were taught, more of us would have at least fended off or not been drawn into quite as many narcissistic relationships. Thank you, Dr Ramani. I hope you're enjoying your birthday week! 🎉
@NancyBrown19757 ай бұрын
The small country church I was brought up in taught me if something bad was happening in my life it meant I was not serving God.
@orielwiggins22257 ай бұрын
@@NancyBrown1975 I'm sorry. That's such a common message, I got it too, and it's just wrong. I could site Bible passages where God directly speaks against this. And tbh later in life when I started to undo this message that was helpful. Now I tend to see it, at least when it's happening to others, super clearly as the lies that it is. Even tho the folks who promote it often are just enablers, following what they were taught, not the folks who are using it as spiritual bypassing at best and straight up abuse at worst.
@truthseeker-mk4rt7 ай бұрын
Dr Ramani, you might find this interesting... the list actually is from Galations 5: 16 - 21 NKJV in the New Testament .... So it's even earlier than the 5th century, and was then reworked to make the "7 deadly sins". Thanks for this great video 💐
@user-um9sl1kj6u7 ай бұрын
As far as "feasting" is concerned: My mother always taught: "If One Person has More, you should be Obligated to Help those who have less." and she meant that in terms of either food or help. My mother was always helping her children, and always asked my siblings to help each other. That's What Mother's Do.
@silkyregina7 ай бұрын
Jesus had the same problems with people, blinded by narcissists, as we do: Matthew 13:15 15 For this people’s heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.
@free2choose807 ай бұрын
She hits the nail right on the head here! I think the same kind of exercise could be done with the 10 Commandments.
@ireneugeba52827 ай бұрын
Yes! I went through hell with narcissists. After reading the Bible; I saw that is how narcissists are. Its an accurate description.
@marshagreenwood68257 ай бұрын
Good morning. It truly describes them. Isn’t it amazing that the Bible tells us? Warns us? You know what else it tells us? There was giants in those days and there after. My personal opinion is narcissism is the clinical term and Nephilim is the biblical term. History repeats itself. The Truth is coming and Nothing can stop it. All Glory to God Almighty and His Son Jesus Christ for His Mercy!! Peace and Love be with you.
@joyjournal61577 ай бұрын
Really, Satan was the first narcissist, wasn't he.
@marshagreenwood68257 ай бұрын
@@joyjournal6157 and in my opinion these are his offspring!
@vickyl10107 ай бұрын
Awesome insight Dr. Ramini. My ex-narcs have all of these traits. It is good to finally see the light and know that I had the power to leave these people and change myself. I am still empathic, which is a gift from God, but I'm learning how to balance my empathy with discernment. Thank you Dr. Ramini💕
@elanaHammer-ke4kg7 ай бұрын
Dr. Ramani, thank you so much for teaching me something new about narcissism. Narcissism is something that I try to apply to other educational concepts. Wishing everyone here in this community a wonderful new year. 🤔❤🇺🇸
@jocelynco16247 ай бұрын
For the sin of gluttony, I discovered it not only include food but also information. They want to know everything and be the first to know. They are big gossips
@adrismit60847 ай бұрын
In my opinion 2 Timothy 3 also describes narcissism: "This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, Traitors, heady, high-minded"
@ShelleyFayles7 ай бұрын
I have had the same thought and TOTALLY agree!!!
@ParadiseLoading7 ай бұрын
2 Timothy 3:1-5 is like a checklist of world attitudes, and narcissism fits the bill!
@adrismit60847 ай бұрын
@@ParadiseLoading This is why I personally believe the is a strong spiritual connection to narcissism.
@ShelleyFayles7 ай бұрын
@@adrismit6084 yes!
@adrismit60847 ай бұрын
@@ParadiseLoading This is why I personally believe there is a strong spiritual connection to narcissism.
@rturney63767 ай бұрын
I personally was treated like a witch and burnt at the stake by my family. It was all lies. 😢😢😢😢
@Erika1lee7 ай бұрын
This is how i alwaya think of my my boss. She fits the bill for all. Its actually sad when you think about it. Her life will never be peaceful and happy it will always be vengeful and she will want to destroy those she envys. She think she has so much but she has nothing besides hate and revenge.
@deborahbailey82467 ай бұрын
Thank You for this video. I have read the Bible and knew that narcissism was present back then. It’s just more accepted in culture now than it was then. ❤ Happy New Year Dr Ramani! 🎉
@pinkpaprika84107 ай бұрын
It’s not that it is more accepted, it’s that it is seen through a different frame of reference, and we lost sight of how earlier cultures recognised and defined it before we came to define it through the lens of modern psychology.
@pinkpaprika84107 ай бұрын
It’s not that it is more accepted, it’s that it is seen through a different frame of reference, and we lost sight of how earlier cultures recognised and defined it before we came to define it through the lens of modern psychology.
@acfatemi7 ай бұрын
Because how easy it is to walk away/move away from the consequences of bad behaviour, our society has become a fertile ground for narcissistic tendencies. Yes, I do believe that modern culture foster narcissism
@M_SC7 ай бұрын
Like kidnapping and torture of minors, I think it was exactly the same back then but just not known about. And of course the evil people were often in power accusing the innocent of witchcraft. It’s not that there was less at all
@radicalscience19657 ай бұрын
OMG! This is so spot on! Especially the gluttony, as far as my narcissist displayed: I remember one time we were at a restaurant, and he ordered a 24 ounce steak! All the fixings, baked potato all this food. And I ordered a little salmon fillet with broccoli. I asked him for a bite of the steak to taste it, and he blew up and told me that I was the one who needed to learn how to share! That made no sense to me, especially as I watched him, eat everything, Insight… He ate the whole damn thing! Along with part of my food, and dessert… I was so disgusted. He ate himself into type two diabetes, neuropathy, insulin dependence, etc. He’s literally going to eat himself to death and I’m glad I won’t be there to see it!
@jwilckenful7 ай бұрын
This might be my favorite Dr. Ramani video yet! This is so fascinating, and YES! to ALL of it! In fact, I once saw an ad for some wine glasses illustrating each of the 7 Deadly Sins, and I remember thinking that the Narc in my life fit all of them! I love the connections being made to 5th Century life, and I love even more that we have better understanding of these behaviors (thanks to people like Dr. Ramani) and we can now put into words what we are seeing, feeling, and experiencing as a result of these behaviors.
@evathiessen22447 ай бұрын
So insightful!! Thank you so much!! Dr. Ramini, you have helped me so much there are not words to express my gratitude! Your content has truly helped in understanding and not falling into a deep pit of despair!! Thanking my God for you!!🙌🏼😇💕
@TiaMarie7777 ай бұрын
I thought of Proverbs 6:16-19 It describes narcs to a tee. Proverbs 6:16-19 KJVS These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: [17] A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, [18] An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, [19] A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.
@ShelleyFayles7 ай бұрын
I posted the EXACT same thing! And I just noticed your comment!
@ParadiseLoading7 ай бұрын
This was my thought too!😊
@Omneyvdwatering7 ай бұрын
Happy New Year! I'm on 1 year of no contact with my mother. It was a struggle but the best decision i could have made. Your videos (and book) helped me immensely!
@tracyroose7507 ай бұрын
Believe in yourself. I went no contact with my mother, aka mommy dearest, in 2017. It was not an easy decision, and I struggled with feelings of guilt. I know she has died, though I do not know when exactly. My brother, another narcissist and possibly a psychopath, informed me about a year ago, but could not, or would not, tell me when. I have healed to the point of being able to say with sincerity that I hope her soul is finally at peace. As for my brother, I steer clear. I am not sure he even has a soul. His daughter is cut from the same cloth. Thankfully I live 1200 miles away from them. Dr. Ramani is my favorite narcissist expert to listen to, though there are a few others I really like. Dr. Ramani is compassionate and her information is accurate. Throughout my healing journey, many have helped me understand narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder, but I am very thankful to the people who comment on their own situations. Narcissistic abuse is not easily described and to try to describe the abuse to someone who has not experienced it is darn near impossible. Please remember there is an entire community across the globe who have shared a similar experience. This community wants to help others heal. Believe in yourself, stay strong. NOBODY deserves to be abused in any way, shape or form. Psychological, emotional, verbal, physical or sexual: abuse is abuse. You deserve to be loved, respected and treated with kindness. Best wishes to you. Take care.
@arenzejeanette11207 ай бұрын
We got a word for that is danish too: Skadefro. It's a word made by the meaning/words "damage/hurt/bad luck" and "happy", meaning being happy of the misfortune of others 😳
@lowo17117 ай бұрын
This is perfect just perfect especially on January 1. Start the year off smart ! Thank you !
@kangletu7 ай бұрын
Yup, they have all these 7 sins. You’re right, not until recently we start to find clues about people who possess those traits are narcissism. And it exists since human evolution. I’m glad we start educating people about narcissism so that we can learn from it and heal ourselves from it, too! Happy new year Dr. Ramani! New year I wish you all the best. ❤
@b8akaratn7 ай бұрын
... i've been wondering about Romans 16:11 real hard for the past month. Thank You for this video, i LOVE this intersection 😊 💙❣️
@CR-db4qf7 ай бұрын
You are a life saver, Dr. Ramani❣ love from India❤
@ninaschust36947 ай бұрын
She is. Happy new year from Mumbai
@b8akaratn7 ай бұрын
And from Maine!!!
@whisped81457 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for covering this topic! - I hope I am not taking away too much in advance, as I may have in a comment on a previous video regarding this. You already mentioned the key point about the Virtues at the end. If Narcissists are 100% Sins and 0% Virtues, they condition their targets to be the other way around. That explains a lot of our problems when we come out of narcissistic abuse. What is 100 points in Humility but 0 in Pride? You will never stand up for yourself, never be proud to make anything, maybe even avoid making anything and avoiding any spotlight to begin with. I certainly have issues in that direction and struggled with what I call a "creation-block" since childhood and still not managed to erode it or break through it. Even when it happens once in a blue moon, that breach closes up quicker than one can blink. If only the scars would heal as fast as that block reinforces itself. My suggestion to everyone: 1) Make a list of the 7 Sins and the 7 Virtues. I'll help out with that one to get you started, and do copy them onto paper. It helps your thoughts to jump into work: Lust - Chastity Gluttony - Temperance Greed - Charity Sloth - Diligence Wrath - Patience Envy - Kindness Pride - Humility 2) Now think, and write down your thoughts of what it means, per pair, if you have 100% of one but 0% of the other, and vice versa. Only Chastity and no Lust? No Wrath but only Patience? You will give infinite chances to the same person exploiting and hurting you over and over again, hoping that next time it's different, and if you only show more patience and love... but nothing ever changes. - We also say that Anger is wild without reason and direction, it is venting of pressure, while Wrath is something focused, targeted. It can be what brings down a Despot if used wisely and just. Unjustly, it destroys an innocent. 3) Compare your thoughts and conclusions with what Dr Ramani offers in her teased upon future video on the virtues 4) I would like people to also consider a potential 8th Sin and Virtue: Cowardice & Courage. It Courage is not wanted by the Narcissist, for that might make the victims stand up. At best it is allowed in the successfully gaslit, brainwashed flying monkeys towards outsiders. That is more akin to fanaticism though. Most people who throw us under the bus when Narcissists are at their A-Game are friends who turn out to be Cowards. They just want to save their own hides, not be the next targets to be ostracized from the social circle that got hijacked. But was is someone Courageous without any Fear (Cowardice)? Nothing but a fool, for s/he would not realized the claws and fangs and fire of the dragon to be dangerous enough to worry about. My conclusion: A full, mature, wisened up human being eventually comes to the realization, or natural practice, that both sides are needed. Yin and Yang make a whole. It is up the wisened up to have figured out, to know, when which is appropriate and necessary. Then, there can be peace within, as it can rest on a strong foundation.
@brandonhealy71587 ай бұрын
So beautifully written. 💝
@ZenZone-li4fr7 ай бұрын
Fascinating!!!❤
@Mystemyst7 ай бұрын
Thank you Dr.Ramini, i look forward to the Seven Virtues video. Thank you so much. ❤❤❤
@dianewiegel71367 ай бұрын
Brilliant analysis
@chiyerano7 ай бұрын
Really glad this was brought up and have often wondered about the causes of such behaviors or traits. Thank you for talking about this and Happy New Year!🎊
@SilentTrip7 ай бұрын
Thank you for being impartial in your research and giving us all points of view 🙏
@privateprivate83667 ай бұрын
I guess I never truly grasped the term “dis regulated ”. Maybe I thought of it as moodiness. But, this explains it better. I’ve DEFINITELY seen it, in narcissistic people and hope I have the introspectiveness to spot it in myself. But, it has always been a question for me. Sure, I’ve become a bit jealous of someone. Maybe I liked their hair or would rather have their job or car. But, it’s passing. Narcissists, however, take it to an unmitigated and permanent level. They don’t step back and think, “Yes, I’m jealous or envious of that person. But isn’t it a better option to make the most of what I have, than to punish someone else, for what they have?” Seems like it never occurs to them. Even if it does, they feel their plight is engraved in stone and the only thing they can affect, is to reach out and punish others for that. Only on a rare, lucky day, with a narcissist, who is lower on the spectrum, will you see them step back and consider that punishing someone else is not only wrong, but there situation will be the same tomorrow, even if the benefit is schadenfreude today.
@user-nq3kn3iq8v7 ай бұрын
Thank you for this explanation of the seven deadly sins. It makes much sense to me. He was all of these things.
@afraidtosay84717 ай бұрын
As a believer in Christ who's had enough of churches, where submission is still viewed unequal between wo/men, it's nice to hear Dr Ramani preach. Bible does say the last will be first, perhaps meaning those who don't know will know.
@user-ex6el8bb2s7 ай бұрын
❤ The best video you have ever made. I am a Christian . And I truly believe 🙏🏾 that as old as time. Jesus wanted us to walk in honoring the Bible the Truth humble and appreciating. What you have been given, it's not taken anything for granted to love thy neighbor Treat people with respect and honor be disciplined. And all you do do it with Love this is the most beautiful video thank you so much for sharing
@AriD23857 ай бұрын
Thanks for covering this from this angle.
@emmak.17877 ай бұрын
Excellent video Dr. Ramani, as always. 2 Timothy 3 in the bible also describes narcissism and instructs us to stay away from these people. Thank you for your generosity of sharing your priceless knowledge to help us all.
@kaylapaige91287 ай бұрын
Wow. I just adore you & the work you do. You're beautiful inside & out. Thank you for sharing your knowledge, care, & help with everything 🙏🏻❤️
@pascalbro75247 ай бұрын
Religious familiarity is powerful and I commend you for working with it instead of against it. I say that as an atheist who parasocially trauma bonded to atheist narcissists who wanted to attack religion rather than highlight the narcissists within using religion as a means of coercive control. It was a spectacular disaster which paved the way for Islamophobia. I'm still an atheist, I just don't have the crippling insecurity that manifested being in the presence of theists due to that toxic relationship anymore.
@piratekid17 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experience
@apostolia21247 ай бұрын
Happy and Godly New Year everyone, and dr. Ramani what a great color you wear !!🙏✨
@acfatemi7 ай бұрын
Yes! This is the original sin: to want to be a god. Narcissism is based on pride …..
@acfatemi7 ай бұрын
Excellent! My first response was simply an answer to the question in the headline, but now after listening to the whole video my intuitively held opinion got more depht 👍 Dr Ramani managed to align the catholic theology with the ”natural law” as understod through science. Impressive!!!! Next; it would be interesting to get a non-christian psychologist’s take on the benefits of self-reflection and going to confession regularly as a counter measure against fostering narcissistic tendencies 😉
@AngelaRPierce7 ай бұрын
My ex literally told me that "I should worship him like God". I told him I don't worship shit.
@acfatemi7 ай бұрын
@@AngelaRPierce 😂
@pinkmeadows7 ай бұрын
Happy New Year Dr. Ramani!!!!🎉🎊❤️🎊🎉
@VS-yb7oq7 ай бұрын
Oh my goodness! You are spot on, Dr. Ramani! I can see ALL of them in my narcissistic husband. EVERY single one. God help us all who are struggling with these people and trying to get out! Eternally grateful for your work, Dr. Ramani! God bless you! Look forward to your virtues video!
@user-dd3ny4xb3w7 ай бұрын
All of the above, absolutely ALL of these. This is mind-blowing
@jmj27387 ай бұрын
The Church didn't and still doesn't want to "punish the sin out of them." 😄 We "churchy folk" know that only God's grace can help us to overcome sin and vice. Identifying the 7 deadly sins helps churchy folks identify what offends God so they can avoid them.
@t_nels7 ай бұрын
So well said.
@extremeclipper7 ай бұрын
Spot on. Proverbs 27:22 says that one can "grind a fool in a mortar and pestle, but never get the foolishness out of him" (my paraphrase). Can't be done, and the implication is not to bother.
@olgakim48487 ай бұрын
Happy New Year, Dr. Ramani! 🎉
@doricetimko54037 ай бұрын
You prompted me to look up ‘avarice’ as I distinctly remember that being a Deadly Sin that I learned as a child in the Catholic Church. I’m so glad you’re going to do a video on the Sacred Virtues. So thought provoking. ❤
@christinesarracino38577 ай бұрын
As I've progressed through my spiritual journey into Traditional Catholicism, I have begun working on rooting out those 7 deadly sins. A recent sermon from the priest at our chapel really convicted me...sloth has been leading me around aimlessly, not really keeping myself to a set schedule or rule of life (akin to priests and religious brothers and sisters, though not quite as strict). Now that the new year has started, and I have a new planner to start writing in, I can make it a habit to incorporate spiritual reading/mental prayer and a few other devotions into my day. Replacing the 7 deadly sins with the 7 virtues (humility, gratitude, generosity, temperance, chastity, meekness, and diligence) doesn't happen overnight, but every day is a new opportunity to begin the work again. Happy New Year, Dr. Ramani, and God bless! 🎉
@rodneymolidorjr.60957 ай бұрын
Before watching the video, my first response is, "Yes, the 7 deadly sins describe narcissism pretty accurately". Looking forward to now watching the video and seeing/hearing your take on it, which I always enjoy immensely.
@t_nels7 ай бұрын
Happy Birthday & Happy New Year Dr Ramini 🎉🎉
@cathy94857 ай бұрын
People have moved away from religion but nothing about human nature has changed. The actions and reactions of some people are now often recognized under the newer identity of narcissism.
@tijeraslack37 ай бұрын
And I’m in the city of the 7 deadly sins (Las Vegas). Wish me luck because I’ve learned a lot about narcissism and this city in the last few years.
@aida0877 ай бұрын
Happy New Year Dr. Ramani!!❤️🥰🙏
@mday38217 ай бұрын
I'm so glad you did a video on this. I have offended thought about the 7 sins and Narcissism and wonder if there was a connection. Thank you, Dr. Ramani ❤
@user-qu8gm3sr6q7 ай бұрын
You are famtastic!!! Thank you so much for keep doing this. ❤
@alessandrasaenz727 ай бұрын
This video is so spot on! I hadn't seen narcissism from that point of view, though I did see wrath, pride and envy quite clearly in narcissistic individuals. Thank you very much Dr. Ramani and happy New Year.
@francesbernard24457 ай бұрын
Dr. Ramani - Happy New Year! May all of us including you continue to enjoy more time away from having to tip toe around any narcissists who are quick to take offense no matter what our intentions are when being ourselves is at the time.
@drvpscott7 ай бұрын
Yes! I have have recognized the lack of empathy common in the seven sins so I can certainly see the connection to narcissism, now that you mention it. My own understanding of sloth has been lacking. You have piqued my curiosity. It its time to re-watch "Seven", in which the protagonist could certainly be described as a narcissist.
Thank you for taking notes of the 7 deadly sins 📓✍🙂
@roxymovie39387 ай бұрын
@@yukio_saito You are quite welcome, Yukio, as always 😉 🙏💛🙏
@mathie20377 ай бұрын
Happy New Year to you, Dr Ramani, your staff and your subscribers. Stay healthy. 🎉❤
@ST-ff1zd7 ай бұрын
Exactly! You cannot reason or negotiate successfully with such ppl. What I found most challenging/frightening was the unabated simmering rage which could explode at the slightest frustration. Happy to be free now.
@happyday33687 ай бұрын
Happy New Year and Happy belated Birthday!
@ld98627 ай бұрын
Very clever. A lot of food for thought. Now do the 10 commandments which reads like a narcissist's prayer.
@jannlewandowski55407 ай бұрын
Hi Dr Ramani, I do remember the 7 deadly sins. Not just as a Catholic, but I know them from hearing them from people, plus, that Horrific movie, Seven, with Brad Pitt. My ex narc is guilty of all but ONE...Believe it or not, LUST was the least of his problems. Personally speaking, (we're ALL Adults) he had some problems in that department. When you "don't feel" anything for anyone, how can you perform with someone you're lying to? My Love life was horrible with him, but I let it go. I hope he got his act together for his other supplies.❤
@pamwhitehouse59617 ай бұрын
@jannlewandowski5540 Same exact 💯 thing I dealt with from my spouse I had separated from.
@Lola-mt1ne7 ай бұрын
That movie: Seven. Powerful and disturbing.
@jannlewandowski55407 ай бұрын
@@Lola-mt1ne you are not kidding
@jannlewandowski55407 ай бұрын
@@pamwhitehouse5961 Amazing! Yet unbelievable!
@rachelraquel7587 ай бұрын
Se-seven-en! That movie fascinates me.
@mgroliveira7 ай бұрын
In buddhism, jealousy is the opposite of rejoicing in other people's good fortune. Envy (i don't remember where i heard this) is when jealousy is intensified and you deliberatly act out in order to prevent the other person or people to enjoy what they are enjoying, or having.
@CO2isfake7 ай бұрын
Reading the Bible helped me lose my guilt in putting up serious boundaries. The seven deadly sins are spot on. Also Matthew 10:36, Leviticus 16:8-10, and I’m sure there are more.
@jokendrick21247 ай бұрын
Guilt for boundaries? Me, never. My self esteem is very much intact and I have never had guilt about setting boundaries. Its a matter if self preservation.
@CO2isfake7 ай бұрын
Well, they do like to alternate being nice and mean. Have to say "no" when they're being nice, because that's the bait and hook. @@jokendrick2124
@idrawpeopleandanimals7 ай бұрын
Another amazing video! I'm so glad I found your channel! Thank you!!! ❤
@nostromois7 ай бұрын
How very insightful observation dear Dr. Ramani. I think you are absolutely right.
@winning33297 ай бұрын
Happy new year doctor 🎉 Thank you for your videos it's helped me alot ❤
@cdow90327 ай бұрын
This take is so interesting! The meek shall inherit the earth!
@elizacrafts45077 ай бұрын
Sloth and envy describe my CN ex so well. We were both in college and she would go on about how x classmate doesn't deserve to be doing better than her and she's only failing because all her professors hate her but she never studied, texted me when I knew she was in class, didn't do homework… she'd get mad at me when my grades were good. We were in different majors, thank God. Looking back, she did it with everything in her life. Driving? I got my license through luck, not because I drove and practiced every chance I got. She was mad when I would ask why her mom was driving instead of her when she'd get dropped off/picked up and she'd yell at me for asking. Art? She'd draw *maybe* once a month and be upset that it wasn't better than last month. She'd get mad that I was improving while sketching near daily and sewing on the days I didn't draw. (If you're an artist and struggling with fabrics/clothes, I can't recommend sewing enough btw, draping one dress helped more than all the fabric studies I've ever done) All the while she would complain about how the world was out to get her, why? She's significantly overweight, has IBS, and can't drive. Two of those are literally her fault. Meanwhile, my college experience was a near death medical emergency, then granddad (basically third parent) dying, then dad getting cancer and dying the next year, then getting a new chronic illness, all of that with level two autism that makes me unable to wear a mask. (Started college in 2020) I used to tell myself she was going through it too and that's why she didn't care about my struggles, then I realized she's lazy, jealous, and vindictive. There's a reason I'm still improving at the things I love and have my associates (which is all I need for my career) while she still doesn't have a license, a degree, or any kind of skill in art. Suck it Sarah. The best thing I did in 2023 was cutting you off. (She even took her laziness and jealousy as far as being mad that I was better at MINECRAFT than her!)
@cyndivancil4027 ай бұрын
Very well done Dr Ramani!! Good Lord have mercy do i have a list to look out for..my grandfather was a minister & i remember him preaching about these exact things..I'm just going to work on myself for right now & get my mind straight.. Hope you have a prosperous & blessed New Year!! 🎉🎉🎉
@keariewashburn46807 ай бұрын
I agree Dr Ramani ! So true! Bingo. I do think vanity would kinda go with pride maybe
@fabiobarbieri22137 ай бұрын
Hi Doc!! I suggest you to read Rene Girad!! He explains all the mechanisms that take place in the process of Scapegoating, and on the other hand, this is connected with religions too!!
@GraceTruth297 ай бұрын
Happy New Year Dr Ramani and all beautiful people ❤
@ivangeo33197 ай бұрын
Thank you very much Dr Ramani.. You rock 💪
@krakhedd7 ай бұрын
I've long thought of religious traditions in such terms as humanity identifying and codifying behaviors we considered anathemic to our survival
@michelleharkness75497 ай бұрын
For the record- One of my beloved counselors listened to my explaining that The Narc was tough to handle and said, “ You want to drain the swamps but it is all you can do to keep the alligators from biting.”