YAY!!!

In the same boat with you. I didn't see how codependent i was until watching some of these videos. & my husband of 10 yrs is abusive, and says that if i wouldn't argue with him or try ti stand up for myself (which annoys him) that he wouldn't pick me up by my hair or belittle me, calling me names... I actually felt like things were my fault, i created our situation because i was the things he said.... So far from true. We have a ten year old who has seen us arguing, name calling... looking back with the insight i now have i cant believe i stayed this long, i was so blind... glad i found these videos

me too not married but acted as though I was because we have two babies and he has depression... but treated me like crap

You know we sometimes become abusive after dealing with abuse,we are acting out trying to defend ourselves an its a panic defense.

Yes! Stick to your guns!! You deserve to be happy.

Sheldon Kitzul yes that is the equation

Sheldon Kitzul Is “trauma bonding” an actual condition? I need to find more info on this. It may be what I’m experiencing. 🙏

Bad romance XD so familiar

My life😞😞

Ms. Cook check out Nu mindframe she made a video on it. Super helpful

I can relate and that is great. How did you do it?

How you did it?

Me too I have to and then I started hanging around toxic people and it started to get me back to that same place and I just realized why I have been feeling the way I have been trying to please everyone and be empathetic! And at the end of the day you don’t get a thank you and after everything I do ! All the giving was because that is what I wanted to do ! I always did it from the heart! I don’t need it anymore and if I cook a special meal they love and they don’t say thank you is k and I don’t need it !

Me too! I am viewed as anti social and distant but I just don’t want to be overly involved with anyone emotionally right now

@@leahmckinney3250 same, i have distanced myself from so many people because of that. I am trying to learn to not take on everyone’s baggage like i used to. Now people are now saying im being distant or i have changed but im learning to not give a sh*t about what they think anymore.

One World Yoga this sounds so much like my relationship right now that I’m trying to get out of😅

I needed this comment

One World Yoga i can be your new gorlfriend and do all that with you ! I love farm life.

i'm a happy person and had been codependent throughout mylife. And I did Masters In Yoga n Self Consciousness. During my course and till date I have seen many narcs. They do practice yoga with perfect postures and really awesome postures but they are narc too. Not everybody who does yoga is empath and not everybody understands consciousness. Just be aware and stay happy n healthy.

This is so good. Don't let em control your life or happiness. Keep working on yourself and growing while they nitpick tiny insignificant things and choose to start fights/drama over said things. I don't get it.

Wow.. that’s a powerful one!

Same

Spot on! Unidimensional people aren't real.

same

ROCKNROLLFAN it is great ! Me tooo! 👍👍👍👍👌👌👌👌👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Jessica Kemp true!

This is so true!!

Pina M me too🙂

Yep. I just got here

Agreed. The opposite of healing is... Doing harm, which is what we do to ourself when we can't admit the truth.

She could be a narc too

@@yuliasyoga4768 Ay esse, pablo escobar approves. Narc

Read book “boundaries”

My girlfriend of 9 months just broke up with me because she needs time to work out what she's feeling (she's depressed). I've never felt more proud of someone in my life but I've found myself struggling to be supportive of her. I keep thinking that I can help her get out of the funk she's in but I keep reminding myself that it's all up to her. It sucks because our relationship didn't have any major issues, she just needs time to work on herself.

Sarah Lyn you can heal!

OMG..you said the very thing I’ve known about myself for a number of years now...but..when it comes to my husband, I still feel like I’ve got to fix him...I find it extremely difficult to stop myself...After all he is my husband and aren’t partners supposed to help their spouses?? Weird when I think about it because one half of my brain tells me to stop fixing him and the other half of the brain tells me to stand up to him and stop letting him narc me....The cycle is predictable and I wish I could get off the merry go round... Since it’s been 23 years of off and on dysfunction I now know I have to teach myself to cope with my husband’s moods...or give up and lose everything by walking away...friends and family life style too..My friends and family won’t believe the torture I go through...To them he is a sweet and quiet man...

I hear you Sista 💗 Sounds like an uncover behind closed doors narc type, the worst! I found journaling helped me decide to stay or go, that and my ailing health and deteriorating mental state. You are stronger than you know✌

I did see some of myself in you words i wish that there was this information about 20 years ago it couldve saved my sons life the only thing i had were books like Codependent No More i knew back then something was wrong n i couldnt learn n apply the info fast enough to teach my kids so they wouldnt have to go thru this pain an b in and out of abusive relationships

Laura C. Your are doing all you can my dear! It’s easier to get information now because of the internet. You cannot let yourself feel guilty or bad because you grew up in a different time period! When you know better you do better- and it sounds like that is what you are doing! Keep on my friend, you got this!

Gail Lewis hahaha

Gail Lewis Hi Gail, do me a favor and tell them to stick it somewhere...😃❤️

yes that is hard to go through especially since it goes against everything you believe in. i'm the same way

Well done! Keep loving yourself and working on you. Your learning to take back control of your life and set healthy boundaries.

That’s my struggle too! A couple of “who I thought” were my friends did this to me too. I was sooooo hurt OMG and I cried about it. But, I had to sit back and realized, real friends wouldn’t do this to me and treat me as such.

im to

Me too!!! I was looking for someone else who is with a narcissist, found Stephanie and realised a lot of her videos were about me! I've not put the tissues down since I started watching Stephanies videos! Wow! Talk about therapy online! I thought CBT was fantastic too but I actually feel I've just had years of trying to understand why I have always felt all the above... omg I am a codependent..and never understood its meaning but do now!

Me too!!! Except she wanted to “separate for awhile” and I said nooo we’re getting a divorce

Have just, a few days ago, identified my wife is a narcissist. Boy that took me 25 years and 2 kids ! learning and discovering every day about what, when where and how. Curious what my partner is going to turn into now as I'm not 'feeding' her anymore and only in a few days I see it in her face, the frustration is building. I'm not her emotional punching bag anymore.

@silent mindy i feel the exact same way! i will help people but i genuinely don't care unless it's family. it's too exhausting and no one returns the favors for me. no one helps me out ever. that sounds selfish and goes against what i believe but i just got so tired. it took me years to tire out. now i don't care too much for most people and it has made me a little bitter to be honest. i've isolated a lot and am fine with it.

❤️❤️❤️👍🏽👍🏽

U need a support system find a friend or family member you can move in with until you have healed and you're ready to be on your own

Thank you so much for your comment. I have struggled in the past with being the fixer and person that comes in and wants to save the day. Staying connected to what you think, how are you feeling what you need is what will allow you to overcome that need to rescue other people. It means that you’re starting to put yourself first above what someone else needs

Stephanie Lyn Coaching you make a good point. It's okay to be helpful but we are first. And only then can we be of help to others. And only when they ask for it. It feels good to know I'm not thr only one who does this. Thank you for replying.

Say here. Often i feel like im going crazy. Repeating the same thing over and over but no one listening. Exhausting.

Kristen West I swear I could have written this comment. Too true.

Cathy T yes!! Absolutely agree!

Cathy T Read that book too after God showed me years ago that I was but I didn’t know there was help for it and I started going to CODA but stopped. I will not stop anymore getting the help I need and J will help others along as well. I have learned that we only need to please God. Read the word of God and do what He says and be rewarded for it. I feared man more than God and now I reverence And Respect God and took man off the pedal stool.

Yes thank you for sharing that I'm 51 going to be 52 and I was wondering about that but the same problem is over and over why there's no solution I'm beginning to understand what that is now thank you

That's an excellent book written by melody Beattie. Another good one is man's search for meaning by victor Frank!!

I wonder if you may have been lost child growing up? I'm finally negotiating & asking for what I want, respect for myself & others.

Watch foxie dee channel

compulsive fixer lmao. Sorry it just sounds funny 😂.

Joanne Bettencourt thank you so much… It is painful to hear that people are in counseling or therapy for years and nothing is changing. If my videos can help in anyway to move anyone forward and allow them to have a ah-ha moment then I couldn’t be more happy.

Maybe thats why folks r on utube looking for answers cuz councling only goes so far and they can't seem to quite get it right. They get paid to listen . No payment no listen no solutions n some of there solutions suck when they r not in the mood n just have to show up for work that day.Some can really mess a persons life up. Ive experienced that of few times seeking help

Lifes to short I gave 15years to a girl i loved and didn't realize what i was getting into with her MENTAL health problems cause didn't see them till i was way to far in the relationship and 500,000 dollar later I finally see that I'm hanging around and WASTEING my time money and health for someone that's not going to change. So yea run

Ninjamama I absolutely does! Just listening to your intuition and trusting your own decisions is completely empowering and once you start doing it you will soon break the habit of always needing to hear the opinions of others.

N

Ninjamama: Yes, I learned quickly not to say anything about decisions I had to make especially about house maintenance, after my husband died! If I asked anyone, or worse, just talked conversationally about, say, something like having the trees cut back, everyone, especially men, would tell me I had done it wrongly, paid too much, shouldn't have done it..... ThereforeI learned not to talk! Once, when in an an ordinary conversation I was telling my daughter I had sold my car, her husband began to completely undermine everything I had done, how I sold it, how much for, to whom, when I sold it etc. Eventually, hearing his multitude of "knowledge" on the subject of cars I asked how many cars he's had and sold. He said "none"!!!! I had had too many to remember off-hand, over 10! Similarly when my dad died, my niece who is a doctor was in my mother's house loudly shouting about which hymns to have at the funeral. Genuinely thinking she may have been to a lot of funerals, I asked her did she have to go to a lot of funerals? "Oh no! I've never been to a funeral." She proclaimed. I'd had my own husband die the year before, my grand parents of course, my first funeral was when I was 8 and had to do a reading, sadly many friends; without a thought I heard myself say "Crikey! I could write the Good Crematorium Guide!" So I don't tell any of these big-headed pompous spoiled gits anything. Because they are stupid little show-off twits. They'll only annoy you, so just do your own thing and be happy!

Yes wise advice is valuable,compare and test the answers for facts experience

Anna Boo ...I thought the same of myself but a therapist pointed out that maybe I was a ‘fixer’ for my husband..I had to take time to digest this and now I believe I am my mother...Co dependent..A nurse who is supposed to care for all that my husband was/ is going through...haha..lol. Not any more...I’ve turned selfish for a change...I don’t like it but I’ll have to get used to it...

mixedchick105 ...I’m in an emotional situation and I really need to keep watching these videos...My husband uses silence and non communication to get to me..He knows how that bothers me...He knows that that is my only request of him...I hate him for using my weakness to his advantage...I try to return the silence but it doesn’t bother him because he is a severe introvert...

"What do I think and how do I feel"_that's the core of introspection.

Michelle thank you so much for the wonderful comment! I’m so glad that you’re loving the videos and learning some things that will help you to heal 💗

Sarah Lyn thank you so much! Welcome to our community! 💗

samal d I’m so glad that you are here! Welcome! 💗