"A man that tries his best will never beat a man that's just enjoying himself" -baki hanma

I’m 40 and just started jiu jitsu. There’s a massive difference in my ability to learn between the days where I think “I’m too old for this, these kids are gonna clean house with me” and the days where I think “I’ve got this” Basically the days where I give myself a reason to feel sorry for myself I suck, the days I’m there to learn, I learn. Negative self talk is the real enemy, not age or size or physicality. Your body follows your brain for damn sure.

"Remember this: You don't have to be an athlete to learn how to use your fists. And it doesn't matter whether you're short, fat or skinny, timid or brave. Regardless of your size, shape, or courage, you already have the weapons with which to protect yourself. I repeat: All you have to do is learn to use them correctly." Jack Dempsey from the book Championship fighting

"When you have confidence, you can have a lot of fun. And when you have fun, you can do amazing things." - Joe Namath

I feel personally attacked

"you're a human being, violence is in your bones" my favourite line haha

One thing i learned from HEMA and apply it in every single aspect in life :"fight with confidence and aggression, even when you don't know wtf you're doing" and also this famous quote from Sekiro :"Hesitation is defeat".

I'm a 35 year old fat guy. I hate to admit it, but I've been doing martial arts for years, and I think I'm OK, but I keep telling myself I'll never be great because I'm out of shape. I'll never be able to get in shape or compete because I'm old. Things are only going to get worse no matter how hard I try, because that's just how aging works. I needed to hear this video. This shit gave me life. Gonna hit those warm-ups a little harder today.

" and I have a very punchable face". Dead lol. Your channel will blow up. Great presentation and unique personality.

“Who would be angry about unreasonable martial arts stuff” Mike:………

The weird thing is that I think a lot of the ‘lack of confidence’ issue is just the fear of looking and/or feeling stupid. Every time I watch a choreographed fight scene in a movie, I always point out to the missus whenever there’s a “look cool” moment… because they just don’t happen often. Even professional boxers sometimes look dumb throwing six punches with two landing and them not even realizing that their opponent is losing consciousness. No ‘Rocky’ moment where they punch Apollo Creed to the mat and fall with him, etc. So, even if you don’t finish everything with a Steroid Era Barry Bonds pose and bat-flip, sometimes you just have to be willing to run out the grounder after hitting the ball off your foot and watching it dribble two feet away toward the pitcher.

Confidence is HUGE! I took a big break from training due to a back injury, and when I returned began sparring again after a month or so. I hadn’t been sparring long before my injury, but I’d been improving, trying new things, and having fun. When I started anew, my mojo just wasn’t there. I felt intimidated by how much time my friends had spent training in my absence and didn’t think I stood much of a chance. I’d shell up, look away, and blank out on what to do. I’ve since paused on sparring to take a step back and reassess. It became immediately apparent that I wasn’t worse - I just didn’t believe in myself anymore. You spit a ton of truth in this video, and I’m going to do my damndest to jump back in with optimism and intention. Confidence builds confidence!

I wouldn't say i have confidence, but i would say my middling success in pretty much everything i do comes down to two things: 1. Being too stupid to quit something extremely punishing (as long as i want the thing at the end) 2. Being willing to do dumb stuff in case it works

My lack of confidence to not do martial arts comes from my wallet

Lol, describes me very well. I have two black belts and eight years experience in sparring. My lack of confidence became a self-fulfilling prophesy and I lose almost every match. Some trauma in childhood never really goes away.

That confidence thing is SERIOUS. Especially for self defense and sparring. You got to invest in yourself to be what you NEED to be. That self defeatism will run your fade before any opponent will. We are our biggest enemies if we avoid what would make us great. I avoided submission work for so long. I'm 30 and I didn't realize how screwed I was if it came to it.

Definitely once I started believing that I knew enough Jiujitsu to be somewhat effective with it I started tapping out bigger ppl. By no means am I any good in the entire spectrum of grappling but believing in yourself a little and remembering that you train this shit enough can help quite a bit with being an effective martial artist

This is exactly why I say don't fuck with martial artists who say they were bullied. When you have to do martial arts for self defense , training is a whole different experience

I need a full 3 min version of the ending song

I really needed this video. Despite having been an athlete, I totally lack the necessary mentality to succeed with my training.

This is me right now with wrestling takedowns in my jujitsu. At this current time, I am five months in as a white belt and am slowly gaining the confidence to try and even shoot for a takedown. I normally get caught in a sprawl from my opponents, and I’m working on the technique, but right now having the confidence to even try it is where I’m at. I’m 32 years old and loving the journey so far!

The blooper in the end, so wholesome 🤣

Also a big problem in martial arts is to big a ego and to much confidence!

You are very creative and your channel is unique. I would like to show details about kenbo methods around the world. Especially the method used in self-defence

Blood for the blood god. Skulls for the skull throne. Let the galaxy BUUURRRNNN.

Great video, so on point. I fall into the 30's too old part and the bit after. Only recently thinking how dumb that mentality is.

This channel is actually underrated

I was in the gym laughing my ass off at the last 3 seconds of this video holy zhit 😂😂😂 that was a perfectly cut scream

Mentality is one of the most important imo. I have competed abit and I only have done well when I'm like "I got this, he's dead". If too calm or too worried, then I get overwhelmed

The confidence thing is a big thing for me. I’m not that aggressive and didn’t do a TON of sports as a teen, so I tend to hesitate or go into techniques sort of half measure. I notice it most often in judo practice, where I’ll set up a throw really well but fail to go all the way through with it. Something I’m sure a lot of people need to work on haha

I’ve been working on this over the past year. …I feel personally attached in a good way. Amazing video!

If you are bad just remember what my boy Jake the dog says. "Sucking at something is the first step to being sorta good at something"

Bro, that ending is primo!

Confidence is the main reason I suck at sparring. Not that I'd suddenly be amazing if I was just confident, but I could definitely land more strikes if I actually threw more strikes

Thx man this really helped me❤. I’ve been doing kickboxing and Jujitsu for yr 1 now. Because I though I wasn’t a match for rylee I never really gave it my all when we sparred. Today I faced off against my friend who is a black belt in karate in strike and mount and I did really well. I didn’t submit her but I got pretty close. It was my mentality

Agree. Watched some old streetbeefs videos where a guy with obviously some experience and skills gets knocked out by some random aggressive scrapper. In reality the martial arts guy has that scared mentality to go what he want and let the scrapper dictate the pace and pressured him making his body stiff and rigid, whereas the scrapper is on his flow with some good foundation of athleticism and strength on his frame. Some fighters just don't have that edge when it comes to fighting outside the gym and feeling awkward fighting with no gloves on and with shoes.

I needed this. Thanks alot

I fuckin' hate this video because it relates to me on many levels... ;]

Psychological hurdles are not as easy as saying Cookies and they are gone. Same as physical, some require years to overcome. It has not been my problem personally but I have seen people who mentality was the stop and it seemed impossible for them to overcome; psychological work was needed for the to be able to be all they could.

I was hoping this video would have shown me how to see red and go into beast mode to become a street fighting savant.

I'm afraid to fight for self defense, and constantly go through hell because people see that. This video helps a bit

Loving the videos mate. Keep going 🤙🏻

I would like to add to this a little bit, I am somebody that was in the military and have done a lot of martial arts work. In high school I fought a lot. I was never good at fighting somebody for no reason, to me that includes competition.That being said, if you were messing with someone I cared about I could barrel through someone three times my size no contest, and a big part of that was because I do not like to attack, I do not like to feel like I am attacking, but I greatly enjoy protecting.

I've never had much confidence, since it's been repeatedly torn down by the best in the business. It's something I've been trying to work on for ages, and I've only been somewhat succeeding at for maybe a year or so. Even now, I often feel like I'm the least skilled person at practice when it comes to sparring. I have confidence in my physical fitness and technique, but not in my ability to apply it, and it's getting me punched in the face a whole lot. Rather than discouraging me, though, it just drives me on to do better next time. It also factors in that I just don't want to get hurt in training, and I'm not always sure that my sparring partners (also beginners like me) are all that good at controlling their strength yet, so I'm very defensive and cagey to avoid getting hurt. When I sparred the instructor, I was much more able to move around and try using some combos because I was confident in HIS ability to not punch my head off my shoulders, and he remarked that he was surprised I did so well in the spar against him. I guess having confidence in your opponent is also a form of confidence...

This is information that needs to be known and shared. Thank you!

thanks for the ted talk

Thank you. I think i needed that. :)

Great video! Love your content.

This is a great video and this is rarely talked about

Epic video you did there, really good and on point! Also, the jokes are so hilarious, friggin' can't stop laughing! 🤣

Bro I've been looking for a channel just like yours I am so happy I found it

Great vid. I've always suffered with confidence witch is probably why I don't improve as much as I should. Next time I'm training I'll definitely change my mindset. 🤞

i love these series

Just found this channel every take is a W

So true, I used to see stuff like all those fighters that trained since childhood or people like Jon Jones who already got at the top in his early twenties and then think that it's pointless to train hard because I'll never be good enough

Another brilliant one 😊

My favorite billy joel song with such funny lyrics. I've heard it a few times already in the videos, and i have to give props. I love the jingle. You should make it you're outro on every video

Damn I think I needed this

Some great points!

Thanks for this batman!

I really enjoyed this video bud nice vid

So true. Acknowledging success as a possibility is a prerequisite to success.

I'm 47 and have been training for around 18 years. It's only in the last couple years that my confidence and skills have excelled

Wow not used to this from you, but this video is surprisingly uplifting.

Mentality is so important. I cannot stress enough how important it is. Not only fighting but any goal in life.

made me cry thanks

Great video, next episode about the danger of hubris, please 😁

I though I was too old for martial arts because I thought you were suppose to do Karate or Tae Kwon do in Elementary or Middle School. My first serious martial art was Kumdo (Korean version of Kendo) when I was 29, 5 years after graduating college. Now I'm a yellow belt in Krav Maga, taking up Yang External Taichi and about to take Shotokan karate.

This one was really good

Something clicked in me as well talking about football here tho(not american, screw that shit) back in kindergarten i used to do everything, dribble past ppl, defend, pass, actually used to be a little selfish with the ball, but that improved my confidence and ability so much the years went by and i started dribbling past a whole team(they were garbage) and it was going great but one day came and i stopped, i still did 'everything' but i became more of a textbook passer that stuck around so long ic ouldn't even begin to think about cutting past a guy it was pretty depressing. i still knew i was good, but not like before. in my school i performed well but in our area's field my performance was always mediocre. it didn't help that at the field i got yelled at for the slightest screw ups, that ruined my confidence, what's football without a little bit of flair, and dribbling, and skill, that's the whole fun of it. one day i got sick of that garbage, i looked at a messi dribbling compilation and my motivation peaked. Went that day, this time, when i got the ball, i kept it, just a little longer than before and i flew i went past one guy, then another, then lost the ball. but fact remained I actually did it. overall perforamce that day was still shit. but it was better. And i loved myself for it. It's still not ideal today, but again, it's better. Switched mentality from 'oh im just a playmaking mid who helps in every area' to one more related to goal scoring and it improved my game, i started seeing more of my mistakes and actually improving on it. Yeah mentality does matter

This was really motivating and it nice to get a mental kick in the brain to remind us what's obvious. Thanks for sharing thia video i hope you blow up on YT someday @armchairviolence

I'm pretty confident in fighting, but I have zero self confidence in anything else in my life.

How do you think confidence affects pace and cage control? If someone has a lot of confidence, even if I’m a better striker, i find myself going forward less and sometimes even going backwards. Their confidence makes me more reactive. But when I’m more confident I’m more in control of the pace and mat with them on their back foot. What do you think?

Wow I rarely like your videos but this one is good

I lift weights and practice wrestling with friends in addition to doing jiujitsu at a school. Do you have any specific advice for getting good at wrestling?

This is gold… I’ve been trying to explain this to my sister since she started bjj.

Intriguing bud bud nice

Well said.

Thumbnail got my attention

The grizzly bear comment was great.

Started deadlifting, I was afraid to do more than a couple plates, thought it would take months to get up to where I wanted. One coaching session with a good attitude and I did 405 lbs for reps. Honestly thought it would take a year or so, one good kick in the ass and it was done in a week. This video rings true.

The end 🤣🤣

This is totally true. I've had a guy say to me that he wasn't sure he would be able to take martial arts due to him not being confident enough to try and fight, and isn't comfortable around crowds. So I told him then don't do it. You gotta have that drive to want to learn martial arts. And the drive to do it too. Teachers don't want unmotivated, undriven students.

The counselling term was self-efficacy. Some people think they can't sing or cook or drive a car or whatever. The trick was the change the belief system. If its cooking start with a cheese sandwich. Move to a simple omelette. With singing a personal coach show them how to listen to their voice. But behind it all there would have been some kind of humiliation that they couldn't let go off. Being told that they were no good stupid useless. An internal voice that stops them from success. But essentially cognitive reframing can be difficult so changing behaviour can lead to changing thoughts and feelings. Not sure if I've explained it well. But for example one way of treating depression is to get the person to wake up in the morning shower get dressed take a walk come back. Martial arts practice especially the more mechanical stuff does seem a good way to increase self-efficacy or what you term general confidence. So long as the instructor is aware that people bring baggage to the mats. And without going into depth analysis offer them a chance to put that baggage down and just start things again for the first time. I could see that working.

I feel this video. Too many times I've heard the classic, "I can't do that" talk. It's so annoying. I'm just thinking, if you talk like that, I'd hate to know how much stuff you don't do.

Im a 25 year old guy from the south, with a culturally blended family. Part of that cultural experience was doing Tae Kwon Do as a kid. Got my black belt. Got my certificates that say yes i did actually earn the black belt, and then around 12 i drifted from it. I lost the physicallity but never lost the skill or, as the vid focuses, confidence. When i was about 19 i was at a party, and this guy i had some history with was there (he was in his 30s, its complicated) Like twice my size, visibly muscular, amped up and all that, but i made it out obviously. Tl;dr I got my training reactivated in a fight at a party like i was thorfinn fighting snake

Yes I have been guilty of thinking I can't catch up with wrestling 🤣🤣🤣🤣 it really stunts your progress I'm in the process of trying to learn to wrestle

Yes that’s why I started martial arts and combat sports

It's all about self improvement.

I agree with everything said in this video. Mentality surely is a factor in learning and training, but I don't think we quite nail the target when addressing it. It's a common misconception implying that mental factors are instantaneously subject to change. "One musts simply change one's perspective! One needs but to believe in oneself!" are common denominators for self-help coaches everywhere. Sadly, it's simply not that simple :D Do yourself a mental exercise to check for self-bias: "How many rich or successful people would look at their success and acknowledge their merit isn't responsible for it?". How could one be even willing to recognize one's merit doesn't account for one's outcomes, without losing one's autonomy, which is the very belief responsible for one's self-confidence? It is a self-defeating exercise, but that doesn't mean it holds no truth or valuable lessons. I personally find that exercising gratefulness leads to better self-fulfillment than to exercising autonomy. It's not that one's confidence should come solely from one's belief in one's own capacity and autonomy, but instead it should also come from the outside, from the expectation people put on you. I know this is the complete opposite from what everyone teaches nowadays, and I surely know that so called red-pills cringe at the mere thought of relying on others' impressions, but there is a hard balance between one and the Other. "You can only trust thyself" should give way to "no man is an island", I think. Less stoicism, more... idk, humanism? I am NOT left-wing btw, and I sure hope that no one inputs politics in my comment. And yes, self-confidence, or as I prefer, "grit", will dramatically improve your performance, it's definitely worth improving your mentality for anything in life. What a great video, youtube still has good content in it

I also noticed that people who congrats them selfs and celebrate even a litle victoryes are doing much much better than people who punish them self for little mistakes!

'click', ha ha

What stops a muscle from being contracted is how mutch signal the brain is willing to give it

You can defeat yourself in your own mind before ever stepping in front of an opponent. The greatest ally or enemy, is the power of a human mind. The first law of the universe, everything is mental. ☯️🙏🏽⚔

And it just martial arts. It's also life.

Awesome video coach! My issue and question is: how can a bigger guy (or anyone really) turn up the confidence and therefore the intensity and aggression without being “that guy” during sparring? We all gotta work the next day, we got families, etc. And so trying to find the right balance. For example: I’m confident I can land decent roundhouse kicks to the head during sparring; but I’m less confident that I can do it in a way that won’t rock the other guy. I don’t want to injure my sparring partner, otherwise no one will want to train with me.

It definuntly does.

You have to be highly confident when it comes to fighting but being overly confident can cause you to be cocky and cockiness can cause you to be overly confident in your skills

I think it’s a fear of failure.

I respect your opinion but the party about changing your mentality instantly is untrue. You cannot change your mentality instantly, since, in the majority of cases, the lack of confidence issue stems from deep issues, which take a long time to resolve since insecurity is basically made part of who you are. In the rare case it's just insecurity due to lack of experience, that sorts itself out during training. Just to clarify, i agree about the main topic, confidence plays a huge role in competitions. Great channel! Keep it up!