pfft like I'm good enough for Tesco value vodka

Tesco Value vodka is too high value.

Well I'm better than dirt. Well, not that fancy store-bought dirt. That stuff's loaded with nutrients. I cant compete with that stuff

Or a life that has been lost

I used one and it summoned Ashens to my living room. He promptly began reviewing everything in my house that came from dollar stores.

Oh my god this thing is evil

Poor spirits don't have a space bar.

It’s pure terror

Sounds more like the title of an emo/emopunk song.

Or at least one of their albums

i think you are just thinking of "As Blood Runs Black" (they are deathcore tho)

@@angrypanguy I love em, In dying days is still an incredible album especially hester pyrne and my fears have become phobias

They'd be the soundtrack to every Death Note AMV

Hello fellow 20 year old.

hello fellow 20 year old

Hello fellow 20 year old

Same, except i’m 31 now... yikes

I was 22 when I discovered ashens. I've been watching for a decade now. Put another way, that's nearly half as long as I had been alive when I first started watching. It's things like this that make me feel old.

:) memories of a player in a AD&D game I ran years ago. He spent a 12 month campaign building a bone tarrasque using bones from every single creature the party killed. I mean it ultimately only had 10hp and crumbled to dust but it was pretty epic, which is why I allowed it.

Bone Spider......a great name for a Biker or a Heavy Metal pub band

@@mistermatix8241 or an amazing name for a lounge jazz band who wants to subvert expectations.

@@H3xx99 oh yes I see what you mean! Could be a Blues musician too......

@@mistermatix8241 let me hear dat voodoo you do!

The board probably didn't cost any less to make than a Habro board would.

Maybe there was an assortment on the shelf, with a bunch of different colors that had other colors inside of them, and he just happened to grab an inverse one.

They did have black ones with red on the inside, but as you would expect they sold first because they actually made sense

Wait, if they did it wrong does that mean the white wax was on the outside? So instead of it looking like red blood dribbling it looked like white... Oh.

Bloody rubbish bloody candle.

IDK how its with Poundland, but here the cheapo stores sometimes get products with aesthetic production errors meant for more "official" retailers

True

I see those fucking things at work all the time. Thank God I work in grocery instead!

also christmas and birthday wrapping gifts

god, what a plastic polluting toy.....

Imagine having to be the person who designs those

Blood orange would have worked better. Still a shit joke, though.

Hey guys, it's me, Vamire. I'm like a vampire, except people take the "p" out of me

@@DJ_Macphisto Blood orange is the original joke.

yeah I was going to blood orange

@@crbskier08 Yeah I would have said blood orange as well

When you die you have to join a union? That does sound like hell

@@stargate525 You don't actually have to join one, but they still want their dues.

definitely a British ghost, I bet they would go on strike as well

@@Banom7a I mean, I would too if someone tried to contact me with a deck of cards

@@JK-sm7ni Now I'm just imagining someone summoning ghosts to cheat at poker lol

That was scary.

Scariest horror movie of 2020

At least he knows the meta on this fucking site.

I almost thought it was half serious for a second, glad it was just a joke

I got "This Video" then quit

Jeremy Corbann nooooooo

Hold it against a wall and sneeze twice and you can clip through to a fully modelled and textured version of hell just devoid of people

That would cost more money.

They had black ones with red on the inside, I got a few and they actually worked really well. Not sure why they put white inside of the red ones and not the dark red that was inside the black ones

Nonsense, that would make too much sense for Poundland. And don't call me Shirley.

I reckon it's because red is more attractive as a colour and are more likely to be purchased. Or perhaps it didn't "bleed" well reversed. I'd prefer a white skull personally.

The red skull is obviously for Valentine.

Wait, silly string is flammable? I thought that was pretty much just foam and water?

The REAL horror!

The string itself may not be flammable but the aerosol propellant definitely is.

It's not Halloween until houses start burning down!

Needs less cowbell

It was lol

disslike for cussing reese mogg the saviour of britain

@@girlsdrinkfeck I hope you're joking 🤮

@@caramelldansen2204 no why

@@girlsdrinkfeck Ew Rees Mogg is awful

It's not a murder if you kill him, it's officially an exorcism.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA Mikey Jr.

Was thinking the same but could not remember the name of the chap.

Shagadelic baby, party time!

I thought it looked like that spider baby from Toy Story

Poor Mikey he got gutted in the back of his head and got shot on the top

Right it has become its own tradition

My God that is so true I would die if I didn’t watch Ashens 😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎 every year

Oh wow, two of my favourite KZfaqrs together at last UwU

@@FirstWizardZorander you gave me the bran cancar tumur

@@_BigSchmuckus_ Bran cancer sounds healthy for some reason, and I'm conflicted

Ikr? That's a husky tantrum

The picture and the sound was "werewolf stepped on a lego piece".

Thank you kind soul sleep deprivation is a pain in the ass

Thanks I lost track quite quickly

Thanks I lost attention3halfway through that joke

Next week: Raycon Earbuds!

“Let’s play raid shadow legends. Download now for free” lol I wish that shitty game add would just jog on.

It is banned in several American cities at Halloween time. It's like a $1000 fine or something.

@@tncorgi92 you can get it out...they just don't wanna do the effort

Oh yeah i forgot that this was a busy year

Too true

How did you type this?

@@pepeishere7529 hands

I'm American so I don't know the joke unfortunately.

I'm an American and had to use a search engine. Top search results said that he called the mayor of London "incompetent" and once ate ice cream while wearing a double-breasted suit. Pretty exiting stuff.

It's worse than toilet paper.

That's insulting to the doll!

He'd probably take being called an evil skeleton creature as a compliment

@anomie nous Hey, let me blow your mind: I live in neither! don't be such a smartass.

@anomie nous I know a block is an American term.... I'd advise you to stop digging your own grave.

Pants

Same here :)

I can tell it's both.

Yes

Now I'm intrigued

He can't be bothered to make an effort for his video. Same reason why he's still filming on a fucking sofa. EDIT: Wow, there are people who genuinely think that the sofa gimmick is what makes his videos what they are... It's obviously his commentary, not the bloody piece of furniture.

@@JohnsonLobster the sofa is his brand

This is what I came to the comment section looking for haha

I had to watch it a couple of times to get it.

Still evil.

I knew somebody would be quicker than me on getting all those letters yay

you forgot the S at the end

Just sit her down and explain very carefully that magic cannot be made in a factory. Not even satan's evil devil magic. And cardboard/particle board is a terrible, TERRIBLE conductor of magic because of how artificial and processed it is. A real spirit channel requires a blood sacrifice, it requires effort, it requires the person doing it give a shit about what they are making. You can't mass produce that shit and put in the required care, effort, or detail. Magic can't just be done with cheap, mass produced, heavily artificial, highly processed nonsense made of shit materials.

I think there was a guy who shot up some place in America because someone insulted his favorite pony. So it may kill you one way or another, not by demons.

That thing is G-Dang creepy.

it's perfect for throwing through someone's window, too.

Why did you put a space and then exclamation mark in brackets at the end of your sentence?

aint that what black prisoners do in prison

Yes. "Jumpscare."

Omg thank you!

Mornington Crescent, I win!

Catch the bus from kl to Peterborough.... It's quicker and cheaper.

Yep

Re-evaluate your life. 🤣

tfw there are no Poundlands in America

@@planetschlock Dollar General, Family Dollar, Dollar Tree. Ashens actually reviewed a can of generic spam from Dollar Tree someone sent him a while back.

Not in Wales.

He's said that he would. But remote and somehow managing without being in the same place as Nerd³.

@@corathiemann5000 Oh OK.

Maybe a Christmas Special and Polybius Heist.

But he had a normal intro.. Not the regular Halloween one. :(

Fact

it’s sad that people feel the need to mention trump on everything like it’s the only thing they talk about and their whole personality lmao

@@Idiotbreadloaf I was sad about this too, I thought I was the only one :(

Technically, he did, just by knocking over the Spirit Board and hanging up on them.

@@IvanovIvanAKrutoi no....that pisses them off....always say GOODBYE or well you could be like my poor friend and have her house nearly catch on fire...

@@Silver_wind_1987_ Can you imagine blaming ghosts on anything

When me and friends used a board to talk to spirits we asked it's name their reply.."yes" so we finished our drinks threw the board in the bin and went out to a bar for the evening.

@C C Hey, don’t joke! My dog was abducted by ghosts I’ll have you know! 😂

You can't reuse it, it spreads way too thin...

Imagine being a real spider encountering a plastic spider. What a trip.

@@alexrawson8492 Yeah, but if you spread it thin a bag lasts you like 5 years.

@insanity wolf Or a skeleton spider will crawl on your head as you sleep.

The jokes on them then I save money every year by having a real spiderwebs on my bathroom windowsil for at least the last 3 years with its occupant who was too fucking big to deal with then and is now getting on for being the size of a mouse....on the bright side it is male so won't be spawning, anyway its very erm festive, complete with dead flies and wasps.

Lol... I remember that from my childhood. I also remember falling asleep to that cartoon, so it probably wasn't that interesting.

@@Megadriver Or maybe you aren't that interesting. Your comment put me to sleep. Does that mean I'm not that interesting?

Obviously, that's how you know it isn't a "flesh wrapped skeleton" ie. a person.

Unless it's a shark

I’m afraid to say my good sir you appear to be tripping 👱🏻‍♂️

Manta ray?

I thought it was two word yes and yes qui and ja

@Disobedient Nomead WHY does everyone pronounce it "WEE-JEE"? I've never understood that. I pronounce it right, and everyone looks at me funny and "corrects" me.

@@ferociousgumby Because Americans and people from the UK can't pronounce foreign words so "Ja" becomes "jah" and not "yah" like it is in German. I have no idea how it became "gee" other than... points to people pronouncing things shitily.

@@Maverynthia it always sounds silly and ignorant to me, sort of a mockery of the whole thing. Golly Gee, it's Wee Gee!

@Andrew Ballard People that can pronounce stuff. yes. Yes I am. And you must be one of THOSE people that give no shits about pronunciation because "English Superior"

Demons don't go near schools...to many angels around to tell them to f off and find a new demonic job

It's vodka that does that to me.

Ducky-boos! (Which I heard as poo.)

*corpse party flashbacks*

*misao flashbacks* (not an anime, but same genre as the corpse party game so fair imo)

It's shit

It wouldn't be a proper Ashens video if he did he right, would it?

My thought exactly!!

Wasn't it supposed to be Quackula?

@@MadameTeqi Not that I've ever heard but I'd have to ask my dad, he grew up with the show. Well, I say grew up, he's in his 70's now, but he's known it longer than I have.

They probably couldn't go with "Duckula" because it's copyrighted (and awesome).

@@Roadent1241 It was real. Early Nickelodeon had reruns.

Why? Just looks like it will shed everywhere.

@@nat3007 It doesn't. It's quite elastic and will clump together.

But you can't actually, because as any practitioner of the black arts can tell you, the black arts do not appreciate people using shoddy cheap artificial mass produced bullshit, which is why so many ameteurs get murked.

@@Xahnel Where as most people will tell you you can't actually because magic isn't really real, actually. See, there's no real definable difference between amateur performers of the dark arts and those who consider themselves professionals, apart from how much they're willing to spend on the props.

The best crossover

Spoiler: it ends in 5 seconds due to the fly being swatted and the machete being too heavy for the fly to carry.

Better than the other fly sequel

"The are telling me...disco is dead" "Disco is NOT dead"