I always feel like everyone else knows exactly what is going on except me - like they all had a meeting I missed.

I can usually tell when someone "is like me." You will know if you are around other autistic people. Somehow, it feels "normal."

"Amusing oneself is ways that are unlikely to be amusing to other people." That's a keeper.

My biggest "problem" as an autist is that I can not lie. I am always totally honest and that does not come down well.

I'm always the odd one out in social gatherings. That's why I avoid them and just enjoy my personal hobbies.

#9, the quiet dude in a lobby somewhere that just bursts out laughing for no obvious reason. That's me. My brain is a constant source of amusement, and there will be times that I run scenarios that just happen to make me laugh out loud.

As a teacher on the spectrum, I am able to spot, connect with, and reach my ADHD, Autistic, and other neurodivergent students quickly and my class ends up being their favorite, no matter their skill level in the subject. And they often and up being the kids I enjoy the most as well.

9:10 "Autistic shutdown and withdrawal is a huge challenge in many relationships" bro you just turned a searchlight on my darkest corner

I’ve always noticed in conversation with people, that im obviously not responding the way they expect.

The unusual associations one hits hard, sometimes the connection/reference will genuinely be the funniest thing in the world to me, but the joke falls completely flat for others lol

I was 56 years old when I was diagnosed Autistic. I like being Autistic because I still love all of the things that I loved when I was a young boy. It was my daughter that helped me figure it out because of my fascination with all things trains. Today I am a retired Locomotive Engineer, and my basement (and the house) is wall to wall model trains. I was diagnosed Savant before I was diagnosed Autistic. Being Autistic is not so bad!!! Now I help the parents of Autistic children, and teach them that Autism is not "the big bad cookie monster" that they thought it was. Autism can be kind of fun!!!

My example for spiky skillset is I have a really hard time remembering names, but I rarely forget a face.

"One of the reasons I need stability and routine and secutrity is because I _am_ so flexible." Wow that makes a lot of sense. I really do need routine but I also feel quite malleable and open, and I couldn't reconcile the two.

I am Autistic and I am the one who most always understands what people are feeling. My family and friends always come to me and say it seems like you are the only one who understands and that I am the canary in the cage for knowing what people are really going through. I have annoyingly super sensitive acurate reading empathy and it's not some hippy BS. Autism is not always a deficiency in abilty, it falls outside the norm, often it is a more advanced ability and vastly better than the normies abilities.. You gotta tell the full story here. Not all autistic people struggle in life and need assistance. Some of us assist the normies with their maladaption.

I've never been tested, and don't really care one way or the other if I'm on the spectrum or not. I've always been a little different. In my youth, it was a liability that I tried to cover up. Now that I'm a senior, being different is definitely an asset. I've learned to accept myself as I am, be the best me that I can be, and just let the chips fall where they may as to whether others accept me or not.

1:10 "Meltdowns, shutdowns and withdrawals" are my middle names. 😂😂😂

I've written a book that was recently published 'Living with Autism Undiagnosed '. Got my diagnosis at age 57.

I hate scanning a QR code at a restaurant!

Thank you so much. I have been married for 40 years. Just recently my husband who is still undiagnosed, and I determined he might be autistic. That would be the cause of all of our fights and arguments over the last 40 years. Since I currently assume that that is the case, I've been looking into how to better communicate with him and things have improved greatly. Every one of the things that you listed today hit the nail on the head! Thank you for helping me understand my husband even more.

My son has high functioning autism. He didn’t get diagnosed until after he graduated from high school. I believe that his father, my ex husband, had autism but was never diagnosed. When my son was diagnosed, I started researching that condition, and the books that were the most helpful were written by mothers who had an autistic child. They had a lot of practical advice that was very helpful. When I observe a child showing signs of autism, I talk to the parent right away, and give them as much information as possible. The younger they are when they get diagnosed, the sooner the family can start understanding them. They will hopefully not over react to their behaviors, and hopefully be able to help them to avoid situations that can cause behaviors. I wish my son would have been diagnosed sooner, since our lives would have been a lot easier. I wish I could say that my son is easier to get along with, and in some ways he is, but mostly it’s up to me to guide him through life. He does not understand a lot of what is going on, in any given situation. But in some ways, he has helped me to see things from a different perspective. Now he has lost his hearing, and that makes it even harder to help him. Given the chance, I would not change him even if I could. Maybe I’m just used to him, but the situation has helped me to grow and understand even more about life, and being more sympathetic towards others and their hardships and situations.

Accepting your autism is the greatest freedom. Accept that you will not fit in so that you can stop trying so hard. Enjoy being your wonderful self. You don’t need the world’s approval. Approve of yourself 😊😊😊😊🙏

LOL!!! Yes, that IS a valid 8th category. I LOVE amusing myself. Sometimes ill be messing around with my wife or son, and I'll be making myself laugh hard (I often do), and one of them will let me know that they absolutely don't see the humor. I'll laugh even harder and say, "I know! That one was for me!"

I have autism, I was diagnosed with it when I was 15. I tried shrooms and it made me function so much better.

When I was 20-21, my new therapist all but laughed me out of the office for mentioning how I deeply related to an article I had read about autism. I felt humiliated by the sort of "how dare I have the gall to think I know what's happening in my own head when they had a PhD" and was told off the end of their nose that I was too female and too intelligent to qualify. I went to one more session and never went back. I also pushed the idea of ASD so far out of my head due to feeling so embarrassed by suggesting I might be on the spectrum somewhere that I never thought about it again. Till lockdowns. I was both in my element because yay! I don't have to people! But then I was unraveling and had no idea why. Turns out I camouflaged 24/7/365 desperately trying to do all the things and be all the ways despite the box not being designed for me. I still crammed myself into it every single day and it just so happened that my solitude that I would get by having schedule offsets with everyone else in my house was what kept me sane. Then it was gone and for an extended period of time. I guess it was burnout. I started to lose my sh** and my husband started to demand I see a pro. I took some online self assessments and was getting upset because BPD kept coming up, but I didn't relate to it. I shared symptoms but the driving force behind the behaviors was worlds away. Long story short, (too late) I was reading about BPD, trying to settle in with it or maybe I missed something and maybe it does fit, etc., when I happened upon an article about common misdiagnoses for BPD and at the top of the list was ASD. It took a minute to fully hit me, and another to rewind and replay that session a lifetime ago. I began to consume every shred of data I could get my eyeballs on (like we do when we don't understand, or put special interest energy into it), whereas before, it was just a glossing over in a lengthy article I had read and related to 21 years prior. I had pretty much forgotten what I knew for the most part, but the more I read or watched, the more certain I became, especially when it came to late diagnosis in females. At first I was split down the middle about it. It was a lot like stages of grief in a way. But different emotional states. Except for anger because here I was now aged 42, a hot mess loaded with bad habits and coping strategies just to get through the day, mean cases of depression and anxiety for a lifetime, and this could have been intervened early on when I brought it to a pro's attention. The other big thing was I spent a lifetime feeling like and being treated as the alien in the room, or red-headed step-child, black sheep, switched at birth, whatever square peg analogy you can come up with, but I was used to being that to other people. I have an arm's length programmed into me by default. Then I went to being the same quirky person everyone has ever known, but a stranger to myself. It was surreal. Till I got my head fully around it, anyway. The peace I got from it once I settled in was nothing I could ever describe and something I never believed I would ever have. I had just reconciled that this was my life and that's just how it is. But knowing that I wasn't tripping out how a simple trip to buy essentials WAS hard for me, and I wasn't just a whiner was weirdly vindicating. How being gifted in school but being accused of no common sense repeatedly as a kid was a thing that would completely shape my life and personality. Not knowing what I didn't know but obsessed about it determined to figure out what this common sense was I didn't have that everyone else just HAD effortlessly and it was my only real special interest to study people and figure it out. The other was school because I wanted someone to be proud of me for being good at something. Hopefully my parents, though I would often be disappointed. I was accused of being nosy, of eves dropping and of staring, but I was only trying to understand. A lot of this was in an effort to stop getting my ass kicked at home for being a smart ass and not knowing what made me a smart ass. I just had something about me that everyone but I could see. People instinctively would hone in on it, exploit it and it always made me a target for ridicule and harassment, and even lowkey mobbing in the right situations. Naturally my trust in people has been whittled down to nothing but until recently I hadn't formed a boundary let alone enforced one. I had always given the benefit of the doubt and believed the best of people when they didn't deserve it. Once I learned and started getting the hang of boundaries, and gave me permission to BE, rather than try to make others more comfortable instead of myself, for the first time in my life, my skin fit. When I was fully comfortable in my own skin, had the eternal question answered of wtf is wrong with me (Answer: nothing), inner peace in FINALLY having an answer, something happened and the doors in my head started to fly open. Confidence in myself went way up and I started to learn things, and discover abilities I never knew I had. Now I can never learn enough to satiate my appetite for all the things I have ever wanted to know. I can look at something and understand instinctively how it works. If it's broken I can fix it. I have even been working on my own cars, even though I hate being greasy. I love saving money more. Plus I have this sexy little 2 seater convertible now. It's pretty needy and I have trust issues. But leave it to me to discover my dream job would have been engineering more than halfway through my life. heh. It's been fun all the same. And now that I have written a novella, I'm gonna spare you any more words. If you read this far, bravo and I'm sorry. LOL It's the only way I can typically string words together into sentences, likely since I don't actually think in words by default. Put me on the spot and I go mute like a deer in headlights., and the more important the subject is, the fewer words I can spit out. But put a keyboard before me, no pressure, no eye contact and a topic I can riff on? Verbal vomit. *shrug* What can I say? A LOT , apparently

So painful to hear #7. Suffered my whole life as “different“. Very lonely. Own family holding me at arm’s length. Luckily intelligence came with it - could think out of the box - was very needed in corporate setting - had a great career but no lasting relationships. Outcomes not so great.

I was just diagnosed with autism and it’s changing my life for the better, my schools, psychologists and primary doctors refused to even entertain that I could be autistic and/or adhd just based on me being “social” (masking) and being a girl. Here I am almost 15 years later with my diagnosis, thank you for posting :))

Thank you for making these signs exquisitely easy to understand. Your examples helped tremendously. I have to laugh at the “different/differently” because i often entertain myself with nonsensical repetition. My BFF teaches at a school with many autistic children. She pegged me as “leaning autistic.” I also had to laugh when you talked about the new digital menu systems. I taught database internal logic to systems programmers but can’t even think about attempting that “restaurant” method! Another example in that same vein, i have no problem with complicated mathematical computations, yet panic if asked to split menu expenses. I’m sending this video to the rest of my family and to my BFF. Thank you for doing this. I’m looking forward to seeing your other videos. Serendipitously finding you, is a gift. I wish you continued success in your endeavors.

I like how conscientious you seem to be and how you clearly articulate numerous points which may be challenging for a lot of people to verbalize.

My good guy husband says " in school I alwayd perfered to look out the window. Daydreaming is necessary for creativity ". Of course report cards were never the high spot in the week !

I’m not sure if anyone else feels the same, but I just wanted to say how grateful I am for your videos. I used to be really ashamed of the face that I was on the spectrum, and these videos have helped me not only accepting my autism, but also helping me be proud of it.

Thanks for posting something like this. I was late-diagnoseed (Age 50) and it was videos like this one that helped me gain the confidence I needed to talk to my doctor about it. Hopefully this helps a LOT of people!

I'm 62. I manage to muddle along OK so I don't know if there's any point to getting an "official" diagnosis but so much of this hits home. I've found "my tribe" in the larp community where so many seem to have an autistic or ADHD diagnosis. Hanging out with my fellow nerds is just so much more relaxing and they all understand when I need to step out to "catch up with myself" for a bit.

1 Check 2 Check 3 Check 4 Check 5 Check I don't think I want to play this game anymore...

Amusing themselves in ways that may not be amusing to others. That hits so hard. 😂 what can I say? I crack myself up. I have a good time.

Thank you for putting out this first hand info. I can totally relate, 900%. Years ago, I used to be involved with adult autistic groups. But they were filled with angry NT mothers that had autistic sons, and that's where the conversations always went. Even the people that ran a lot of these groups were not autistic, but were also angry NT moms of autistic sons. I appreciate this very accurate info. It may not help the assuming NT mind to really understand and accept us just the way we are, but at least it helps us know that we are not alone. That someone does understand. I gave up on groups a long time ago. It's nice to find your channel though 🧡

Thank you for bringing awareness to such a tabooed subject, particularly now that people are becoming more open to acceptance. You are such a great man. Thank you, cheers from New Zealand.

I've always been the odd person out, even in my own family. So much so that I asked my parents if I was adopted because I felt I wasn't like anyone else. I make tangential connections that others can't see unless I take them through the long and winding road to that connection. I get overwhelmed by too much social interaction, trying to fit in and hold that mask up is just too hard, but I still like people just in a limited way. I tend to communicate differently, saying the wrong thing without even realizing I've done so. I'm taken aback when someone is offended or angered by something I've said, not realizing why they are reacting like that. I never intend to provoke others in those ways, but it just seems to be the case with me. Dealing with others can be exhausting. I have a lot of empathy, and if people are patient enough and explain why they came to feel the way they do about something I've said, I can see how it came to be that I hurt or provoked them in some way and am all to happy to explain what I actually meant and apologize. I can often can be pedantic - I just don't fit, except with very patient, tolerant folks. Evenings when I'm tired and hurting, it's easy for me to melt down with even small stressors. I like my routines because I know how to be inside those perimeters.

Thank you so much for all that you share! You are doing a great service to humanity. My ADHD diagnosis last year at age 40 led to the discovery that I am also autistic and have masked it reasonably well enough to fool everyone…especially myself. I just didn’t know much about autism and thus never suspected it. Every person’s story I read and every video I watch explaining the autistic experience is like hearing my own life story in granular detail. This has changed my life in profound ways! It’s been a grieving process, reframing my entire life story…but I’ve come around to accepting it and embracing it…I’m not broken, I’m not selfish, lazy, irresponsible, or crazy, as I had been led to believe…I’m AuDHD and that is ok. So blessed to be celebrated for the things I excel at! Thank you again, the validation has set me free! 🎉

I was diagnosed with autism as a child. You never grow out of being autistic. Alot of people don’t know that I am autistic unless I tell them. I can tell if others have autism though. Last month, I meet a mom who had her autistic son with her. She was very nice and I talked with her son. She asked ‘ Why are you being so kind to him? ‘ than I answered ‘ because he is like me, we both have autism. ‘ and she was stunned that I knew he had autism.

Thank you! I’m am someone who’s found out late in life that I’m autistic and it explains so much! I haven’t been telling anyone though because I don’t think they’d understand. I think, like me, they think it’s like the stereotypes. I think the info you provide would help a lot for people to understand better and allow me to settle more into myself.

I’m autistic, but I think I’ve masked in order to survive for most of my life. I suspect that I also have ADHD.

Down with the QR-code menu!

Love the idea of that additional characteristic! Amusing oneself with things that others don't find amusing! Please add that! It's real!

This is the best explanation of the various aspects of Autism bordering on ADHD I have ever heard by far.

I for one, found your "different" amusement quite entertaining (in a good way, like "I get that"). Good video btw. Very relatable.

A spiky skillset is very clear to me. I am constantly getting asked by others why I can’t do something well when I’m extremely skilled at something else.

At age 69, I'm just now discovering that my ADHD diagnosis (at age 55) wasn't complete. I also resonate with most of the things mentioned here. I've also done the "Meltdown, Shutdown, Withdrawal" thing my entire life.

We don’t need to even try to meet other autistic people, we’ll naturally just find eachother throughout living our lives, at least that’s my experience. It’s nice to have friends that are ok with you being a little different:)

Stay strong, stay free... your post had me in tears. My son is 60 soon.. and we all know he "is special".. his memory for Historical data is phenomenal.. he can go to page, quote etc without a second thought, when we ask him of events or info.... i watch this beautiful kind intelligent man struggle in all the ways "that Autism is described. Relationships well deserved promotions , passed over, etc etc . How can i help him , i dont have a clue... but i will share this podcast info, if possible thank you for sharing.

I have realised now for the last 5 years , that i am Autistic as well as having ADHD. This came with the EMTS (?) Therapy for trauma and CPTSD. I was diagnosed with Bipolar when i was in my 20's then told , no it was trauma , in my 30's. The therapy i finally had when i was 50 / 51 cleared up the trauma and after doing the healing , i was still left , with the , explanations you have outlined here. Also discovered the things i get really overwhelmed with ( technology) and a whole lot of new talents, that i really enjoy. I have spent the last 4 years , mostly in my own company. I am very empathic aswell , so i am a real mixed bag. But i am these days, completely accepting of that and this has brought me alot of internal peace and stability.

"If I can't tell where my body is in space..." That's exactly how I have described my experience to PTs, dance partners, and others over the years who have tried to help me become better coordinated. No one has ever understood or been able to relate.

Mostly doing this for myself, even though I've indeed been confirmed autistic twice now by professionals. 1) Social interactions = I find them draining, and I wish to avoid them over being "part of the crew" 2) Structured/Routines = I prefer doing things the "right" way, and think of systems constantly, then things fall apart spectacularly when routine is broken. My mind is always full of many competing thoughts, jostling around and competing with each other. Further, I used to daydream like a champ in my youth... in school. 3) Sensory issues = I noticed so much throughout life that I "felt" and/or perceived certain stimuli much more intensely than others. Also learned to "push through" pain in order to meet certain, odd, "goals" 4) Skill sets = I was a fairly good surfer in my late teens and into my early 20s... I could skate "OK", but could never master moves many others had down pat. Give me something that requires really good hand/eye coordination, matched with a time limit, and I suffer greatly... so video games I shun. Put any type of maths in front of me, up to, but not including calculus, though, and I "go to town", but if you make me write an essay on some social issue, I put it off indefinitely, bc yuck. I really dislike rereading what I have written, and especially do not like editing it. 5) Emotional regulations = I have been known to "snap" and lash out, or scream back, when pushed, or I throw fits, and that's gone on well into my adulthood. I also prefer to, and insist on hiding, when shit gets too much, even when the hiding is taken as a sign of weakness or avoidance by the "abuser"/by others. Some meltdowns happen over things deemed trivial by others. 6) Mental jumps = One of the reason I avoid conversation is just this. My mind goes "off the rails/switches tracks" while trying to follow what the other(s) is/are saying. 7) Different = Many People in my life have deemed me odd, off, quirky, dull, different, etc. on many, many occasions.

I started to cry after the first 2 minutes because it really hurt to hear the things you said and applying it all on myself. Like I somehow got reminded of how much I actually do work every day to come across as a pleasant person and such… I got diagnosed a few years ago as a grownup. I think this video was really good and insightful so thank you so much for making this.

This helped me organize some topics I want to discuss with my psychologist. Thank you!

I don't know if I am autistic or have ADD or if it's all part of being INFP-T. I just wonder why I'm 54 years old and still can't function as a normal adult. Everything is difficult or scary and overwhelms me.

Thank you for being the only Autism KZfaqr who I can listen to and look at without feeling stressed by a chaos of colours and lack of script structure. I can watch your videos to the end!

Thank you sir! Great video with the audio, visuals, etc. It kept me engaged and had me laughing (...amusing oneself...). Hopefully what I have to say is received from my perspective and not seen as me projecting on others... I identify with everything you said, what I am struggling with is, I can see myself falling into the trap of using it as an excuse, to not overcome "pitfalls"... When I was on the football field and failed at something I just put in work to get better... That mentality does not always translate to the real world. Thanks again for educating us who identify or are in support of folks on the spectrum.

Thank you sooo much for your videos. I did subscribe so I can find you again. I've been watching many of your videos and it has amazed me as to how they reflect my life entirely! I was diagnosed bi-polar 2 but I never agreed with the clinical depression they said I was supposedly experiencing but vehemently disagreed with. You have enlightened me sir and from the depths of my soul I thank you for what you are doing with your channel!❤

My heart goes out to everyone who can't get diagnosis if they really find it important for some reason. I wish to give acceptance, belonging and safety to everyone in that way. Everything Paul mentioned applies to me, but I am already diagnosed. I find that most neuro-typicals around me can't remember dates, cook, or read a map, while I can do all that fairly better than them. People who don't know me well and other than work or while in the public, who don't know I have Autism usually label me as 'intense', 'eccentric', 'different', 'aloof', 'special', 'poker faced', 'rude', 'unapproachable', 'broken record', 'too literal', 'OCD", ''funny', 'with an attitude', 'with a male brain' (I am a woman), etc., and none of those are meant as compliments. Also, lots of name calling now when I am adult and especially when I was small. And people never miss to criticize my use of language (written and spoken). It is a bit different in my personal life, as people who know me like that can see my heart. Also I get 'mysterious' and 'very interesting' a lot, these are compliments. One thing that really bothers me is that they won't allow me to bring my cat to work.

One thing I really find helpful regarding emotional dysregulation is two things: First, to learn about and regulate my nervous system (this blew me away when I learned about how much it drives a lot of internal turmoil); Secondly, I got me a set of Emotional Regulation card deck originally created for people with BPD in DBT therapy (I don't have BPD, but find this tool so useful). I carry them with me and can go through them when feel overstimulated and nearing shutdown, which is especially unpleasant when it starts happening at work. These cards have 4 groups: Distress Tolerance Skills, Emotional Regulation Skills, Mindfulness Skills and Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills.

A psychiatrist early in my therapy (1988) once described me as: a red radish in a field of grey cabbages! So I enjoyed your picture early in this episode! Thanks great video!

I don't think I'm autistic (although I suspect this is in truth a sliding scale we may all be on) but I do resonate to some extent with many of the points you refer to. My son, perhaps, more so. What I particularly liked about your video was the simple and practical way you explained your way of recognising this condition and the best bit was the advice to go out and spend time with others already diagnosed. The lack of concessions to the KZfaq algorithms was also wonderful. Thanks!

My parents used my inability to organically remember birthdays as a guilt weapon. Don’t let it happen to you.

I used to lock myself in my room and ask my family to not disturb be for 6 hours no matter what, unless there's a major emergency

This understanding of Autism is so broad that esential implies everyone is Autistic and therefore no one is.

Thank you I can’t even say how much I’m grateful to you for your work, your videos! I find myself in all those areas. I joined an autistic community online and I can only say: I’ve never been so much understood and validated! I’ve never before felt so normal! There are amazing people out there, thank to the internet we can interact with each other.

It's so great to see another of your videos, it's been a while. One of your videos was the first one that sent me down the rabbit hole of realizing I'm maybe autistic

I feel like this was a custom video made just for me. This will be so helpful to send to family who don't understand what autism means. Thank you, great video.

7:20 That's what he said!!! I also sometimes use my left hand instead of my right hand to make it more fun & interesting to me.😊

Summed up so well and explained perfectly, 100% accurate, in my case. The shutdown info was enlightening ,helpful and timely Thank you.

3:11 I HAVE NEVER FELT SO UNDERTOOD MY WHOLE LIFE Your voice is very soothing to my hears. Thank you for this video!

I thought this was much more useful than the typical "10 signs you might be autistic" videos I've seen. I really like the phrase "spiky skill set"! That really captures the idea, without the negative "obsession" connotation that so many other phrases have. Thanks for including withdrawal in with meltdowns and shutdowns. For most of my life (I'm about to turn 60), withdrawal has been my go-to response. In the last few years, shutdowns and meltdowns have started to become more common. I hadn't thought to group them together, but now that you mention it, it makes a lot of sense. Until this video, I would not have attributed my "unusual associations" or weird stream of consciousness segues with autism. I absolutely loved the "Connections" series with James Burke. He presented a series of things that superficially seemed unrelated, then tied them together.

I found this very useful. My husband is undiagnosed autistic and currently waiting for an appointment but services are concentrated on children so the waiting list is long. I recognise traits in myself but some are opposite to my husband. He externalises his meltdowns whereas I internalise mine and withdraw. This is something I have done since childhood. In fact, I remember my Mum calling the Doctor out several times because I was lying in my bed just staring into space not eating or wanting to engage with anything. I can still remember it. I think my bed was my safe place. The only place I felt I truly fitted in has been my family. Everywhere else I feel like an oddball. Thank you for this video ❤

My son exhibited just about everything you have talked about here. We brought this up to several family doctors, but all said that he was fine. He did have older friends, and he was supremely funny, and so very intelligent. But, in the end he became overwhelmed with anxiousness and self doubt. It ended when he died by suicide a year ago.

Hello, my friend! Although you are unaware of it, it has been a while! Good to see you! Wow! You really have your presentation nailed! You are so natural in front of the camera! Your channel has come a long way! Great job! You represent our community well. Thank you! Take care!😀

Dealing with change is a problem/hurdle/challenge. Having to adapt to self service tills! Each store seems to have a different version. People look at you like you're an idiot because you are slow or don't know how it works. Being rushed along by a disassociated voice ordering you to do things, place the item in the area, replace the item etc! We weren't asked, 'how do you feel about having the rug pulled from under your feet in this situation?' For me it's a mixture of despair and anger. The stores never asked, and don't cater for us.

Thank you for this video. This video describes me being autistic to a T.I love how clear and concise it is. I'm actually autistic, dyslexic and an ADHDer as well as a disability KZfaqr.

Thanks for this video, very helpful!

I'm 49, and I've just given up on trying to get a diagnosis and just declare myself autistic nowadays. I've suffered my whole life for feeling so different and for being seen as weird without knowing the reason why, so when I started to read into autism (already in my 40s) and everything started to connect, I looked for ways to get diagnosed. But where I live it's very hard to find good doctors who specialize in that area, and I got nowhere fast. It doesn't help that I spent almost 40 years unconsciously learning how to mask to try and blend in, and got pretty good at it. Also, my main "spike" skill is in linguistics, so my mask is even stronger and more involuntary. So, I finally decided I don't have the time, energy or patience to keep chasing a diagnosis, and the very few people I tell about my autism usually accept it at face value anyway, because it makes a lot of sense to them as well (have I mentioned how I've been seen as weird for all my life? Yeah). So, yeah, I'm autistic, undiagnosed, and I'll just enjoy the rest of my life like that, thank you very much.

Hold up... I never knew withdrawal is in the same category as meltdowns and might even "replace" them in a sense. I am self-diagnosed, and the one reason I still have impostor syndrome about it is how rarely I have meltdowns, or how much I can control myself to not have them in public. If I'm alone, I would let myself "overreact" and scream or cry when little frustrations build up, but I can mask and hold back from doing that in public. But, I feel like I'm in a constant state of overwhelm or burnout from life, and my reponse is withdrawing and letting go of social interactions so I can save energy and keep doing the bare minimum of personal hygiene and commute and enough work to keep my job and minimal family obligations. But I never, ever have the energy to keep in contact with friends or old acquaintances. I kind of thought of it as a sign of burnout, but never saw it as similar to meltdowns. Now I feel like I was enlightened. Wonder if the diagnostic criteria are updated with this though, if my presentation could be professionally recognized.

All 7 here... In the 1970s and 80s when I was a boy, if doctors were pointing to markers of autism they completely missed me. As an adult, I knew something was askew and would likely always be so. Inside I sincerely knew there was nothing wrong with me. I was always made to feel like everything was my fault, or that these were character flaws. I knew I was moral, good to people (right up until being mistreated- then I was a major ass in return), had no ill will, and mostly just wanted to be left alone. I was so confused as others wouldn't see me as I was and communicating this reality isn't usually an option. Employers and some others saw this as a behavioral anomaly... as if I were a bad person with bad behavior. I hated that so much! I was doing nothing wrong and didn't need my mom to tell me that. I eventually informally diagnosed myself and then went to see a therapist. She agreed that I missed being diagnosed. I'm not sure how it would have benefited me to be officially diagnosed other than employers and others who didn't understand me having a term that explains why they don't like my difficulties. So here I am today... a half-century old... never been a criminal, no debt, never married, no kids... every day still has the potential to be the best first day of the rest of my life, yet one would have thought I was always doing things wrong! Argh!

I've always felt isolated for more than one reason. Is it possible to be a deep thinker, autistic, and high-functioning? Boy, I feel so alone.

I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for videos like this. I'd always known something was "wrong" (not wrong but that's the way my brain had interpreted it for a long time) when I was bullied, couldn't connect to my peers and was generally ostracized. I knew I thought differently but I couldn't put my finger on it. I could talk for hours about my experiences despite not recalling most of my life but what I want to say as a self identifying autistic (I'm unsure whether I want a diagnosis but I'm unable to get one right now anyways) is thank you so much for the validation that I am different, not less.

Great video. Helps to check off some boxes. Just a little constructive criticism that you can feel free to ignore: the stock images and videos that pop in can feel very distracting and almost change the mood. I would much rather watch your face and facial expressions as you explain things than have my focus be interrupted by the stock images. However, the on-screen text and on-screen images are super helpful for focusing on what you're saying. That's all. Thank you again for your amazing videos and hard work in creating and editing them. I really appreciate your channel.

I have many of these traits, and never mind if i am autistic or not,i enjoy my life, even if am mostly alone and rejected by others.

This one hits home big time. I’ve had a very traumatic year so I nearly shut down at work & have been placed in medical leave. I can mask being happy & sympathetic and look like a regular person, but negative emotions are hard for me to show in a normal way. When I get angry, it’s ballistic; when I’m sad, it’s a total shutdown. I also have all the other traits you talk about as well. I’ve never been formally diagnosed but I’ll be seeing a psychiatrist in the coming weeks so I’m sure to get one at that time. Thank you for this video. I’d love to show it to my coworkers. My family & close friends already know this about me & still love me, 😂

I know I need this information. Please keep up the good work.

thank you, Paul. your videos have helped me with a lot of insight

Paul, your videos have been really helpful, thank you so much. Also, yes, you need that 8th category...

I consider it to be a gift. Knew from time I was young that I had to keep my surroundings simple, bc no control over thoughts. Prefer being alone bc that's when I'm learning. Sensitivity also a gift ; early warning system ! Wouldn't change a thing ! Skipped 2 grades in school.

I have watched at least a few of your videos. I seem to exhibit most of the traits listed here. In 4th grade, my teacher had me see the school psychologist. He said I was just different. This was about 1982. Its not about a label, but to understand how my mind works. And it is teaching me to be patient, and not blurt out a question when my husband is telling me a story. I also see how my siblings exhibit many of these symptoms as well. Thank you for what you do!

Very helpful. I've been wondering about someone in my life and this fit very well. I also like the parallels with ADHD. I have ADHD, and when asked to pick a random "whatever" I deliberately look for the obscure choice, partly for the intrigue it adds to the conversation and partly to disrupt whatever preconceptions they might have (like when magicians try to use the "blue" or "carrot" assumption to their advantage.)

Feeling so seen right now. Thank you for sharing.

You have basically described everyone

I’m not diagnosed by a professional, and have been corroborating my self-discovery through the past few years through a lot of reading articles and books and watching videos from autistic creators. Every time I start to doubt myself and my internal struggles and external behaviors to disclose myself as autistic in my daily life, somehow another video gets uploaded, which consistently include yours, and it always re-affirms my gut feeling that yeah, I am a bit different and this is why. Maybe at some point I’ll stop needing external validation but I think second-guessing my experience as real comes with the territory. 😂 throughout it all, thanks Paul for being you and creating this content and helping me find a space where I can build my own trust in my intuition and confidently say “oh yeah, I relate to that”.

Iv been Diognosed over 2 years now and still love these videos , find them so validating and help to make others aware what ASD is

I've never had a formal diagnosis, but have several strong indicators that I am autistic. Thanks for this video, it fits with my experiences.

This video is very insightful. I have autism and am reading into ACT. Accepting my emotions hasn't been a problem for a long time. It's only when I want to commit to my values that life gets in the way, and that I have to sort of cheat my way past the meltdown or shutdown instinct (fight or flight). I find that coping techniques for anxiety help a great deal. Also remember that no matter who you are, setting boundaries is always healthy, and deflection and constructive suggestions that don't address 'your' problem are great tools to avoid burdening others unreasonably with your emotional baggage. Sort of using ulterior motives to convince the elephant in the room that it is, in fact, a mouse. Hope this helps.

When you said “think of a vegetable”, what immediately popped into my head was “chard.” Everything else resonated immensely. Much of my family is on the spectrum but my mother refused when i was a kid to get me tested, even though the doctors recommended it. I have someone I know who is a professional and has told me she suspects I am, but I can’t afford to pursue looking into a diagnosis, so I just fumble my way through coping mechanisms and learning to be easier on myself.

Unfortunately ppl in my “world” don’t understand my behavior luckily due to these vids i understand