I understand. I feel very similar. Thnx for sharing xox

I have suffered an e.d for 20+ years. Also bipolar. I've watched all your vids now and clearly your whole identity is being ill. I've met many like you and in my profession ( working with mentally ill people) and honestly you don't want to change clearly. You relish in your disorders. I watch people like you to make myself feel better. I want to get better. I don't make videos relishing in my disorders. So thanks for showing me what I dont ever want to be.

I get what you mean, I often have the same thought. anorexia is an illness which makes us introverted, selfish and self centred ( nature of illness, not by choice) our lives is so unreal and cocooned by it, we really are not part of "everyday life". Everything is 2nd to the ED, without us meaning it to be. I'm also stuck at the healthiest I've been in ages but still within the anorexia range. I think is this it, is this my life? I have no idea, im stuck, scared to recover or choosing living this non existent life. ???! I understand xx

I love the new hair color and after 28 years im still not ready to give up anorexia

i had anorexia for eleven years. been to inpatient, outpatient, mental hospitals and wards. nothing worked until i got saved. i was a hardcore, god-hating atheist, and then Jesus turned every single thing in my life around. I don't know your religious preference, but this is just truth. He is the only one that can save you . I will be praying for you sister. You can do this.

I hope this vid/vlog wasn't negative... as per comments, we almost and possibly DO, become 'Our illness' for 80% of the time... and it's sad- but true. Love to y'all xxxxxx