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And "You sunk my Battleship," was never uttered in the film. Lots of things getting blown up though. This film was truly a bomb.

Okay, I swear Twister the movie would be the most insane body horror film

"Sony's Adam Sandler Candy Land Film" None of those words should be put together in any way, shape, or form.

To quote CinemaSins: Nobody in this movie says "You Sunk My Battleship"

The worst thing about this movie is that at no point does anyone actually say "You sunk my battleship" You know Neeson should've had that line!

Ah yes, The Battleship movie. The board game movie that when you watch it, you immediately want to play the board game instead.

Is no one going to point out that the bombs the aliens launch that get stuck in the ships are supposed to be the pegs?

Fun fact: They actually ripped the convenient store break in scene from a real life video where a guy broke into a liquor store.

Connect Four: The Movie was an alternate title for The Human Centipede.

"Boomer...is retiring this joke." We, the fans, refuse to let you.

All I can think of with those "enemy scrotums" is "Why hasn't Michael Bay made a Bay Blade movie?"

I'm hearing a lot of people saying that Michael Bay had nothing to do with this movie. That somehow makes this movie worse. As if someone was so inspired by Michael Bay's style and directing that they thought that they could duplicate it and get great results.

I’d like to think there’s an alternate universe where an actual good director used the Battleship license to make a movie about two opposing admirals in a war that have a deep respect for each other despite being enemies, and the entire movie is all about the war tactics and there’s not a single action sequence and yet it remains a wonderfully thrilling masterpiece. Instead we got this piece of shit.

Oh, one other thing I actually did like about this film in addition to the Combat Veteran actor: As someone whose grandfather was at Pearl Harbor when the Japanese bombed, I was happy to see how the movie showed the friendship we have today with Japan. This was, for me, a symbol of peace and unity. The Japanese Maritime Self Defense Force and the US Navy are very close allies, and to see that portrayed on film for once was a good thing.

I was in the Navy and deployed to Asia when this movie came out. There is so much wrong with the portrayal of Navy operations, but we all watched it anyway because it is a kind of fun time passer.

I got to tell you there's never a dry Moment In The Nostalgia critics review

Uno: The Movie is hands down the best movie adaptation of any game. It manages to genuinely capture the full frustration and despair that game evokes.

A monopoly movie would be just a bunch of guys buying crap for two hours

"Even the news looks like it was edited by ten monkeys." Okay, original and funny. Two points. :)

Actually could someone make Guess Who? Into a noir thriller cause I would totally watch that.

"Do you need small brains to write small talk?" It's been working Hollywood so far.

my favorite Simpsons joke is finally relevant: Navy Recruiter: "Here at the Navy, we have a three pronged recruitment process. Subliminal, Bliminal and SUPERliminal" Lisa: "Superliminal?" *Lenny and Carl walk by* NR: "Yes, I'll demonstrate" *Looks at Lenny and Carl* NR: "HEY YOU, JOIN THE NAVY" Lenny: "Eh, alright I don't have anything going on today" Carl: "Okay"

"Did I hear right, am I in a BattleShip Movie, like the Game?"..I lost my shit , funny as hell.

I mean, to be fair, when people think of leadership skills, I can guarantee lieutenant's don't come to mind, they're generally disliked by lower enlisted and other officers for a reason. He was probably able to somehow bullshit his way through officer candidate school and never got higher than lieutenant because of his lack of leadership skills

I watch NC all these years. Because of him, I started to learn English. I remember the first movies which I needed to translate by myself. I am so sad that I will never meet you because I lived in Netherland but you need to know that you are my hero and thank you for all these years and I hope that you will never end. I love to watch you all and thank you for all this hard work.

"There's a ton of Hasbro properties that could be easily adapted into a movie" (Shows My Little Pony) - Ok my friend, we need to talk about some things......

Also funny story, they wanted the "crew" that shows up at the end was supposed to be the ghosts of the men who originally served aboard the ship, but they cut the scene because it was believed to be "too weird."

I enjoyed the film, you kinda know what you’re getting into when radio waves translates to laser beam and the fact ships were carrying live ammunition for a war game. Plus the entire film is basically trying to make the audience feel proud to be American, which enhances the enjoyability for none Americans as we just pointed and laughed at it.

In hindsight "Mouse Hunt" should have been called "Mouse Trap"

They could have said “ let’s see why this movie was a real sinker

You have an amazing talent for making hilarious quips about basically anything. Glad to see youtubers are keeping a dying art form alive.

You want a Battleship movie, setting in WW2 in the Atlantic Ocean. Germany tries a new super weapon by melting icebergs to create a large, dense sea fog. An intense cat and mouse game ensue. Allied vs. Axis ships slowly duking it out for dominance. There a way better movie in 5 minutes of brainstorming vs. Michael Bay. But can you do better, or improve my concept?

I’m sorry, but when that old guy yells to “drop some lead on those motherf-“, I smile ear to ear each and every time I see it.

After reading some of the comments, here’s my rough, alternative take on how Battleship should have been: Two kids (brother and sister) were playing Battleship. After sister wins, brother accused her of cheating and they fight. Their mom breaks up the fight as their grandfather comes in. Their grandfather, who was a World War II veteran, gathers the kids and tells them a war story at sea. As he continues his story, the camera focuses on the battleships and then the scene transitions to real battleships. The Allied and Axis battleships fight each other at sea. Then, in a twist, an unidentifed alien ship destroyed ships on each side. The admirals make a shaky alliance to destroy the alien ship. The admirals on each side have respect for each other. In reference to the Christmas truce of World War I, we hear the sailors of both sides sing Silent Night. ______________ Maybe the filmmakers should have taken a page from the LEGO Movie and Princess Bride.

This actually could've been a good idea, turning the board game Battleship into a movie. But instead of aliens, why not base it on a true war story?

Producer: "So what's the next block-buster we're ganna make?" Director: "Well, I was thinking of making a movie based on a nostalgia board game". Producer: "Really? I mean...kids are kinda into Mario and X-Box stuff...". Director: "But look at Transformers and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Those shows and toys have been around for decades, yet still continue to get popular. If they can do it, so can this game!" Producer: "....Okay....I guess I see you're point. So what game is this based on?" Director: "Battleship!" Producer: "....Battleship?" Director: "Battleship!" Producer: "Okay....I guess we could work around it. I mean, we do have military ships and plenty of stories based on historic battles at sea". Director: "Nah, kids don't care much for history or the many real lives who sacrificed their lives out at sea. They wants explosions! Machines! Awesome high-tech weapons!" Producer: "....Okay...I suppose that could work...maybe it'll be an action thrilled story of two great powers who want control over the sea". Director: "Nope...they're aliens!" Producer: "Aliens?" Director: "Aliens. It sounds cooler that way. MORE EXPLOSIONS AND MACHINES."

I'd just like to remind everyone that 'Uno: The movie' is a thing. A thing that exists.

Funny thing is, I've played Battleship games that had a more interesting story than this!

"Battleship" gets a half-assed movie adaptation. Meanwhile, fanboys everywhere are STILL waiting on a film adaptation of Magic: The Gathering!!...

I really liked that Bill and Ted twist. Imagine, a director made such a grandiose movie only to become an introduction that Bill and Ted is coming back.

Nobody: Hasbro:"What if we made a Battleship movie .....but with ALIENS!!!!"

The monopoly man coming out of the ocean like a kaiju with his ass-whooping cane is legitimately terrifying.

We need more of those films you've joked around about in the opening skit. Oh, I almost forgot, audiences and critics have sunken Michael Bay's battleship very quickly.

NC says soccer Me a European: ITS FOOTBALL you kick a ball with your foot that's why we call it FOOTBALL Why do you call the sport where you have an ball in your hands football and and the sport where you actually have to use your feet soccer Explain pls

"Terminator Langoliers" is a hilarious joke, that deserves way more than an offhand comment.

I about died laughing at Twister: The Movie followed by a steamy shower scene with a big green NC-17 logo pasted over it.

Everyone Else: "Nooo! You can't just enjoy this trashy film!" Me: "Haha, dumb movie go brrr."

i'm still rooting for Taylor Kitsch. he's handsome and he is a good actor. i love John Carter

To be fair, I've known some Lieutenants that couldn't be trusted to lead a cafeteria line in a proper direction. Officers are not always the best, sometimes they're just what floats to the top.

I was in the Navy when this came out... As a sailor on a destroyer this movie was way funnier. So many things were wrong or just silly.

3:20 He’s joking but in all seriousness; a friend and I actually played a game of battleship that last 3 hours. We still don’t know how or why the game lasted so long.

6:13 Are we all just gonna pretend "World's Larget International Maritime Exercise" didn't slip past the proofreading phase...

Forces a guy into the military. Get's mad when the said guy is bad at the job.

You know, when I think of Battleship being a movie, I think of a WWII epic based in the Pacific after Pearl Harbor. I do not think of weird Aliens and modern craft

"Lieutenant, that's not something you fall ass backwards into, it takes a lot of discipline and focus" I think the armed forces in general didn't get that memo, according to every grunt out there who's ever had to follow a lieutenant with a map.

"Pinocchio had better wire works!" ...But Pinocchio didn't have strings- Ohhhhhhh~

Scientist: "If we're ever going to contact extra-terrestrial life, the whole conversation would probably have to take place using electromagnetic radiation over many years." Bay: * Imagines giant death lasers *

to be honest. i think the chart guys' script would actually be ten times better.

20:27 Thank you critic, for making me laugh so hard at something that's so dumb.

A few months ago I went and spent a week with my grandparents, and my grandpa looked for an hour trying to find this movie online to watch it with me. He told me about a disabled friend that loved how this movie depicted that lifestyle. He was really disappointed that we couldn’t watch it together, and he told me to watch it the first opportunity I got. A week or two after that visit, he passed away. Then about a month goes by, and this video gets released. I had almost entirely forgotten about this little film. Thank you so much for covering it, even if it isn’t the same as actually watching

No comment on how the aliens show a surprising amount of restraint, clearly try not to harm non-combatants and just generally don't really feel like an aggressive invasion force at all? That's like the one interesting and redeeming feature of the movie!

Clearly the best battleship movie ever made was “Down Periscope” all about a single player and his sub against a player that still had all their ships

I breathlessly await "Chutes and Ladders: The Motion Picture."

I like the idea of something happening that renders all modern tech useless, thus making the protagonists resort to surviving WW2 or Nam weapons. Also a good way to avoid the military breathing down your neck about showing their secrets or making their ships look bad when they could wipe out a small country in a week.

Actually, that is a pretty accurate description of a LT.

I wasn’t expecting an operation joke to make me struggle to breath for five minutes...

While I served in the Navy I remember watching this while underway. the crew thought it was great, best comedy we've seen for awhile.

The funny thing is, Michael Bay isn’t actually attached to this at all. But why would someone want to imitate Bay’s style?

Remember in Ender's Game, where he thought he was playing a game but the ships he was using were actually real ships with real people that died because of his choices? That was somehow a better Battleship movie than Battleship.

I gotta give credit where its due...I actually liked how they shoehorned in the board-game mechanics by forcing them to have to fire blind at sonar pings or whatever they were.

22:45 We already had that, we call it "the Truman Show"

Id love to see Doug do a marathon of the fast and furious movies! Theyd be a treat!

I do agree that the wounded warrior/vet was my favorite part of the film. He’s like the terminator; an embodiment of the fighting spirit of the brave men and women overseas who serve to keep us safe, or so that we aren’t forced to serve in a draft. Easily the most inspiring character and actor in the film; the ONE truly heartfelt part of the movie.

“What’s your name?” “I’m hungry” “.....is that African?”

"he's a lieutenant in the US Navy! That's not something you fall ass backwards into!" Oh you sweet summer child... 😂

If this movie hadn’t happened, this director might have made Dune. Peter Berg has never forgiven Universal Pictures

"Guess Who the movie" is just Criminal Minds

Monopoly: The Movie. *made by Disney*

Am I the only one confused why there was a "I have to have a fathers permission to marry his daughter, who is both old enough and intelligent enough to make her own life choices" included in a movie from freaking 2012?

I love the inaccuracies of this movie. Like CIWS working or them slowly moving the 5 inch. Without the alien knowing or the Gunnersmate that's apart of VBSS and GFCS operator.

I would love to see "Connect 4, the movie". And in all honesty, "Guess Who" could make for a good movie. They could make it a murder mystery.

"It's like an old Buick, just put the key in and it starts right up." As someone who has driven an old Buick for 3 years of high school, I have some arguments with that statement.

I loved the way you were able to fit the rest of the cast in this review. I've missed the skits.

Actually, a Guess Who movie where a Seven like serial killer is on the run, with only a handful (30) of suspects. The killer puts the detectives through Die Hard 3 style games, each success allowing them to ask a yes or no question about themselves, slowly ruling out suspects. I'd watch that.

Within the genre of alien invasion films, I always found this movie was interesting because these aliens didn't really want conflict, and mostly used non-lethal responses to being attacked. Humans were mostly the aggressors here

there is a quote that can perfectly sum up Bays movies "it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing"

5:28 PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF HUMANITY REVIEW A PINK PANTHER movie

0:42 Damn! Malcolm is lookin fiiiiiine!

8:20 Hearing Liam Nelson talking on other guys having a particular set of skills- just doesn't sound right.🤔

"Despite having a high budget, this movie looks and sounds like it was directed by the Chart Guys" I would pay good money to see a movie, or at least a short film, directed by the Chart Guys, make it happen Channel Awesome!

Nostalgia critic: snipers have less stress than you Tf2 players: i agree

Finally we got back to the old school reviews! No cut in sequences, just a funny review! Perfect!

Hey, remember when Robot Chicken made fun of Hungry Hungry Hippos getting an movie.

As a veteran, seeing the montage with the old timers in this movie was the most satisfying thing ever. It was so badass. The rest of the movie was meh...

Honestly my favorite part when watching this movie is the scene on The Missouri when they're throwing out all the tourist shit and the Veterans are manning the different battle stations getting the old girl ready to fight, all to AC/DC's Thunderstruck. My dad (a Marine Veteran) made an audible "oh, hell yes" at that scene. Great lead-in as well. "There are no battleships left." "We have one." heh-heh. Oorah. Thank you for your service, Col. Gadson.

This movie has been such a great inspiration for me. We talked this film over and over and over in film school, especially the Odessa Steps-sequence. So glad that this movie could have such a big impact on filmmaking throughout the years. I owe a lot of my success as a creator to the badassery that is montage editing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart

oh god i realized about 8 minutes into this thing that Doug's real life dad was in the navy soooo this must be extra fun for him

20:08 Please don't retire the Boomer joke. It's a classic.

5:25 Dad Jokes. Somehow my brain is already preloaded with CinemaSins.