“He’s not there to heal you.” That’s a message in and of itself! 🙌🏾

Now I understand why some men have told me that I think like a man. I don't share much of my personal business or past emotional trauma with someone I just meet. One tip ladies...have your questions ready to change the subject back on them so you 😉 don't over share

Very true! Just shut up, sit back, & observe. You’ll learn a lot about somebody, even if there is utter silence ladies.

God has DEFINITELY sent you to help us women, specifically black women, to learn to value ourselves. I wanna give your WIFE the biggest hug for being selfless and understanding the work that you do to help women like me. I wish your family many blessings. We need black men like YOU. Your teachings have completely changed my life and I am forever grateful!

My ex told me “this is why you have no friends” . I was stunned!! Never again.

Tony, I dont care who quotes your work. Nobody will deliver it the way you do. You've changed my outlook 100%. I appreciate you. Thank you.

When a guy asked me "what do you want in man, or what do you like or dislike ? I say, "just be you."

The point blank peer-reeee-ahhhd be taking me out 😂

"Keep your personal business that can be used against you in the Court Of Love". I got that~~Tony Gaskins

God wants us women to be quiet for real. The same message coming from different life coaches and pastors means it's time to just be quiet. I get it!

I am laying here with tears in my eyes because I didn't listen to you Tony! Last year I binged on your videos and got the knowledge. Thought I was healing and boom got into another toxic relationship with a grown boy. It's TRUE most of us won't listen to you but yet we watch you. I'm now pregnant with my first kid getting ready to be a single mom. Getting treated like shit and trying to not fall apart. I saw the red flags😭 but Tony one thing I did take your advice on is fighting like a grown woman. Pray baby and I can ease out safe and if God get us through I officially learned never again. Tony I pray women take heed.

Not talking enough is one of the reasons dating is hard for me. If I don't have an emotional connection with the person, I don't feel the need to share. I share when I feel that trust building. Men seem to ask about very intimate and vulnerable things when I first meet them. I feel physically uncomfortable because it comes across as manipulative. I close off.

In order to know what a man is really like you have to keep your eyes and ears open and your mouth closed. That one was a hard one for me to do(To stop talking so much) but I'm practicing it. Silence is really golden.

Tony this is what happened with my Last relationship! I told him everything and he ended up 10x worst !!!!!!!

I feel like I don't understand how to be a human being anymore when it comes to dating.Hard to trust anyone these days. But I enjoy Tony's advice to fall back and observe and let the man reveal himself. I just want a kind, solvent grown man, with a good heart, that I have mutual attraction with. How can this be so hard ????

You just taught me something, I use to tell a man everything I've been through and all I was doing was giving him fuel to treat me more worse.

“What happens so often with women is, you talk too much.” TG.

I used to tell men that I dated my past and he will tell me his and I thought we were being transparent with each other only to find out it back fire 🔥 on me and I was so disappointed so lesson learned .Now I jus keep it cute and mute 😒

Tony told no lies, my ex boyfriend, a grown boy threw in my face things I had told him about my dad. I was like whoa. I lost respect for him after that and never looked at him the same, and after that, I now keep my mouth shut, even in a relationship Iam still guarded. Blessings Tony to you and the Queen

Yes!!! Tony Gaskins you can’t be more on time. Never too old to keep learning. I pray that you stay so sensitive to the Holy Spirit. Right on time Tony!!!!!!

a man does not need to know ur trauma, ur $, who hurt you etc.

Got my notebook 📓 out!! It’s note taking season!! Shoutout to Tony for continuing to give the game!! It’s appreciated SO MUCH!!

After all this time watching Tony’s videos and hearing people describe the men they meet as narcissistic (which they may or may not be) following Tony’s advice would help you side step even narcissistic men.

This is good, answered prayer to have discernment about what to say and not to say.

I like this video. Ive always told a man my personal business is none of his. This confirmed Im doing something right

Ty this is right on time. I have a date tomorrow night. ☺

If no one has ever told you, YOU ARE THE BEST COUNSELOR and TEACHER ever. You always give the best advice and right on time with the exact info that is needed. I am soooo glad I listen and pay for your time and value to be so authentic and honest with us to really want to grow and better ourselves in life. You are a great role model n leader. God bless you and your family Eternity Brother. 🙏🏽🙏🏽😩🥲🙂🙂

I'm glad I'm the quiet type...men say I'm too quiet lol

That one downvote always pop up on Tony’s videos from a grown boy not approving 🤣🤣😂

Tony's rights " Anything you say can and will be use against you in the court of love" ...got it!🤐

Finally got this memo... Yas - mirroring us... setting us up. Cut the intel is my new motto! Thanks for all the rich blessings today, Tony! Joined the Blessed Tribe today. :) Agape from Canada, All.

Kevin Samuel WHO! You are the real goat! I needed to hear this seriously! Thank you 🙏🏻

God bless you brother Tony Gaskins Jr. You are a Godsend to this generation!💯…in my looooong season of singleness when I’m tempted to grow weary, you make me realize God has actually answered prayers that I forgot that I prayed and has been protecting and preserving me ALL this time from the lesser self that I was and these grown boy predators! Glory to the all knowing God who goes before us! Blessings! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙏🏽

You're so right Tony, but I guess the reason sometimes I ramble on and on talking sometimes on a date is because the guy sometimes don't be saying much of anything, or I don't want to come across as boring or way too shy.

Haha I just got off the phone with a guy, I watched this video first. I asked him what happened between him and his ex. Tony, he literally said, "it just didn't work out." I was thinking, Well I'll be damned! 😂

Ladies, stop✋ talking sooo much. Don't give a man the "ROAD MAP" to your HEART ❤️. "Listen" more. Operate in LOVE, not DESPERATION.

Exactly keep it to yourselves. I don’t volunteer nothing I observe learn lessons.

Absolutely! Any time I have shared anything personal, everything you said happened! Do NOT answer these questions!

I normally ask people a lot of questions and I'm a good listener. It's them who tell me things about them. I find it uncomfortable to open up. I don't talk about myself unless i know they'll understand or i trust them enough to listen and care. I'm an introvert, as much as possible i don't want the spotlight on me. I know about others more than they know about me. The guy i like rn, we're best friends. When we met we first talked about our problems. We had difficult conversations. So right from the very start, care and respect existed in our friendship. We both give each other safe space to express ourselves. I'm learning to be more open, he listens to me, and is very accepting. He always asks me how i feel, and always tells me he's willing to listen and be present during the good/bad/blah days. We are in tune with each other's emotions that we feel and notice what the other person is feeling without the other saying anything. So we encourage transparency in our communication because it's useless to keep things. We both notice when the other person is not ok so it's better to just talk about things. We are each other's emotional support. And honestly, he is the best person I've ever met. I call him my lab rat, and he calls me his guinea pig. We study each other and try to understand each other better. I still have a lot I haven't told him, but he already knows my past mistakes which is something difficult for me to discuss but I consider important to let the other person know anyway. So before we even fell in love, we already know the worst things each went through. We don't use it against each other, it helps us be kinder to each other. We read the bible together and sing songs together, we help other people together, we are a team. We are thankful to God everyday for meeting the other. Idk. It's just effortless and easy and natural. Just sharing. ☺️

You are correct i didn’t tell my ex dudes nothing bout my past because I observed him and see he was a gossiper and like drama he seem like if you tell him anything he’ll use it against you later

What helps me understand how i look to men is putting myself in their shoes or seeing myself the way I see them. Example: if a guy is really cute, but his clothes matching and he overly confident flirting in a farrari, and it comes off lustful, to me its not cute....and alot of times we women think "ALL WE NEED TO BE IS CUTE" , but just like i see past a cute mans beauty, he may see past the beauty. I put myself in men's shoes, when i wonder things, like "would i ghost a guy i really like"? Would I barely see someone I really like? Would I barely call or ignore a guy I really like. (Common sense isnt common-Tony G.)Is a man w matching clothes & shoes w a nice car everything to me? Im personally not attracted to a man who is too flashy, or attracted to a man who is perfectly handsome w conceit, and Im sure guys feel like that when women are matching, flawlessly dressed, and arrogant. Down to earth is better like Tony said, be yourself..

TG, this one was SPOT ON🎯……I used to willingly share innocently, thinking this is what people do in order to get to know one another; WRONG!!! I’ve learned my lesson. Don’t give them intel to use against you. Just sit back and watch who they are-don’t give them the pleasure of picking “the Denzel role”….I loved that part TG🙌🏽💕☀️

Thank you Tony. Got me here snapping fingers. Protecting our womanhood/what we’ve been through till he proves his honour is key.

Tony Tony Tony! I been wondering why my dating experience start off strong and then go weak! I been giving away to much information 🤦🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️. I got it now 👌🏾

Yesss Tony. Great topic. Makes sense. Men that dont know us do not care about us and our feelings! Thats common sense! They don’t need to know personal information about us, especially when first meeting someone! Dating is alot of work. Relationships are alot of work. Marriage is alot of work. Careful what you wish for… 🙏🏻🙏🏻

I listened to this twice. My absolute biggest problem! I appreciate you as always. Gonna find your Dad's book

Good Lord, you are speaking the TOTAL TRUTH!!! You're a good man to share this TG! God bless you.

True!! I tell him “non of his BUSINESS”…etc

I definitely made this mistake with my ex he judged me off of the personal things i told him and threw it back up in my face when it was over i will keep my mouth shut my next relationship

Tony, I just wanted to thank you because you have literally saved the lives of many women including myself. These are the talks that my parents never had with me being old fashion and if they would have it would have saved me so much heartache and bitterness and so I hope you know you are literally saving the lives of the women that have the ears to listen. I thank you for giving me the information that my playboy of a father could have never given me .

i'm just gonna act like this hasn't been my mind all freaking day today. thank you 🖤

Self confidence has no color, race or religion ! Tony thank you for helping all women, that are in the dark ❤️

“I’m right there with him” 😳🤣 I don’t know why that cracked me up so bad. I’ve told my husband many things about my past and he never throws it in my face. I guess I got a good one ☺️ I still like to watch these type of videos to keep my mindset right though.

Blessed tribe🙌🏾🤍🤍🤍 Happy birthday to Tony Sr 🎉🥳🎉

anything you say can and will be used against you in the COURTing of Love! that was a mic drop statement Mr. Gaskins!

Bro Tony you are so on point with this message we as women we talk to much . I truly agree with you

Thanks for all your videos, l am Arabian living in the middle east but your videos makes difference in my life, thanks a lot.

My new response to men when they ask, what am I looking for in a man has been “ I don’t know yet, but let’s try this out and see if it’s a fit. 😂 and when they ask about exes. I always say I’m sure he is ok wherever he is. Our break up was a mutual agreement.

It's completely true, we talk too much in the name of being "honest" but it's too our detriment. Thank you Mr.Gaskins .

Best 20 minutes of my day! 🤯 ! Thank you Tony

Men I date sometimes ask me about my ex and what happened. It’s actually none of their business so my reply is “great guy but we just grew apart”. End it at that and don’t go on. Change the subject. My man turned out to be a narcissist and a cheater but no guy I’m dating will ever know. Physiologically is brings your value down. Even if your not at fault. I usually stuff food into my mouth on dates so I don’t talk to much.

Thank you! I just started dating after getting over a long-term grown boy relationship. I will now reply "I know when I see it." Good answer.

Everything Tony said is true. Never tell a man to much too soon. I told a guy i was dating dome of my secrets before i came across TG of course and was literally though i was just sharing with someone i was building with and he literally labled me "damaged goods"

Exactly. I did It. I went true it, now I’m telling you so you don’t have too. I keep telling my daughter the same, but it seems like she wants to learn the hard way. “Don’t reinvent the wheel.”

Wow!!! This explains so much of my past experiences in the wrong relationships with the counterfeits. Thanks for sharing, this will definitely be on my tool list to be more equip when I date.

It's so sad that you can't be honest these days because people take everything you say, twist it and use it against you smh 😔😔

So much accuracy in this video Danm I wish I knew this before I was so gullible, I’m a little late but at I’m 32 years of age I’m cognizant that I don’t have to reveal information I’m not comfortable revealing in order to keep a man .

I had stopped watching but it feels soooo good to tap back in

Happy Birthday to Your Dad, enjoyed my 1:1 coaching session with him a few months ago. Tony this hit home and you put it very plain and simple. Point Blank Perioodd! Blessings and Abundance to you and your family.

What happened in your last relationship or last guy you dated?? 🤔 Ummm... I don't remember...it was yearsssss ago🤣😂

Dropping gems 💎 I have noticed this that's why everyone says I'm too quiet which makes me come across boring but at least it's been admitted now, happy birthday by the way 🎂 🎈

I wish my younger self came across mr Tony Gaskins so much to learn.

Thanks for sharing. Happy birthday, Mr. Gaskins.

We sure do Tony! I realized that years ago, and have almost mastered it.

Likely because there is ever growing narcissism in the world. It isn’t the goo goo eyed game some might think it is. It’s a sport and people are there to win and not by necessarily honorable standards.

I approve this message and I appreciate you made the secondary video about the Jezebel spirit.

My Biggest Mistake I Made in Dating Relationships is Talking about my Kid's Father Alot. Explaining how he was my First and how he left me a week after my Birthday after 5 years.💘

Thanks Tony we needed this, prayers and blessings to your family.

Chile. This video is 100 percent facts.

its true if you talk easily they think they can say anything..and thats why they also say innaproppriate comments.. but I dont mind sharing details I feel you need a balance..and I stop talking when I reach 50% and let them talk..and I notice everything. the silences etc but I dont sell myself anymore..I never really did..I was natural and authentic talking a lot ..I did try to sell myself to someone I had a crush on..but I will never do it again..as he didnt try to prove anything to me..I dont try to prove anything to anyone now..but im older and more confident and can see though everything..

Not goons Tony 😂 I definitely learned my lesson. Jesus!!!! Glad I went and got me a therapist, it’s the best investment I’ve made. I kinda don’t even wanna date no more. I will take you advice on waiting until my youngest turns 5 yrs old before I date. You taught me a lot and I thank God for you. I appreciate you TG That’s evil for a person to use what you’ve shared with them and they use it against you. It should be able to share and learn. I appreciate your, I hear you tho keep my business to myself, the Lord and a professional. Know how to tell a man that has nothing to do with you and that’s none of your business.

I needed to hear this. Thank you.

"THAT'S WHY!" Triggering...so accurate TG. 🙏🏾💫💚

I feel like that it is good to ask those questions in the beginning. At the appropriate timing.

Happy birthday to your father. 😊

What if he doesn't ask me substantive questions? He just stays quiet, until I fill the silence. Causing me to over talk

OMG I was getting ready to go get in the shower while I was listening to this video and he said you women talk too much and I was like OMG that is me if you guys don’t get anything out of this keep your mouth shut. My mouth has gotten me into so much trouble and I thought I was telling somebody something or knew everything and I know nothing John Snow.😂

Wow! This a whole new eye opener! I have definitely been way too open thinking honesty was the best thing 🤦🏾‍♀️ I feel really blessed to ran across this video, thank you so much! From now on 🤐

I love this video. Heard it over and over again 🙏🏽

Factz ! My now boyfriend asked me these things and I withheld a lot of this information.

He said, take it to the Lord in Prayer!!! Lol at least then you won't hear it again!!

Thank you Sir I have seen me make this mistakes too often

Yes I learned this the hard way but I learned is all that matter. I tell no one anything about me until he confess his love to me.

Thank you 👍🏽 This is the best message yet 💯 I will use this message moving forward I needed this ☕️

God Bless you Tony and ya beautiful family, always dropping nothin but KNOWLEDGE, str8 GEMS💎

Thank you for the knowledge. Definitely spoke a word.

I'm popping in as well.. be blessed.

Thanks I will remember this!!

Lord knows I needed to come accross this video at this exact moment. Thank you so much Tony! 💓

Absolutely A Blessed Message Here Mr. Gaskins. 💯✅🥰🌸