Bill Burr - Airplane Stories Compilation

Bill Burr - Airplane Stories Compilation - (Audio)

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Cult Comedy

6 жыл бұрын

All of Bill Burr's Monday Morning Podcast Airport & Airplane References. [Audio Only]

Пікірлер: 925

@cletusawreetus-awrightus2799 6 жыл бұрын

I love how bill is simultaneously bald and redheaded.

@tedcrilly46 6 жыл бұрын

and how ... he read....reads. like a ....special... needschildtaking.....child taking..an...opotom.....optometrist. TEST!

@bo_bo_deluxe 6 жыл бұрын

Ginger is the new nude.

@MrMethadrine 5 жыл бұрын

double curse

@aj200415 5 жыл бұрын

Justin S. What in the fuck was he trying to say? Was it English? He needs to learn how to spell and put a sentence together.

@ericsiggins7059 5 жыл бұрын

Bills ballbag is pinker than a bleached stinker

@EricMewhort 5 жыл бұрын

"Well, fuck this I'm going to go sell jello shots at ah one of those god damn dj shows 🎵Wee-be-be-be-be-be-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah🎶" That part was on point.

@coasternut3091 Жыл бұрын

As a pilot, I appreciate passengers like Bill

@cahillgreg Жыл бұрын

Just fly the plane - if we require feedback from the help, we'll ask.

@natemora Жыл бұрын

@@cahillgreg 😂😂😂

@bernardbush8265 Жыл бұрын

@MrHeroicDemon Жыл бұрын

He understands how pilots work, and how the plane works. Just being knowledgeable makes you less irate, and more respectable.

@BettyFL 5 ай бұрын

@@cahillgreg Well that was effing rude!

@h.epennypacker2598 4 жыл бұрын

I’m going to steal that phrase “ level of animal” so fucking funny. This guy literally has the best job ever. Funniest guy out there now

@BobMarley-bp6sh 5 жыл бұрын

I like that Bill fights back against the machine. Sometimes he even wins.

@mikefischbein3230 4 жыл бұрын

"like 40 Yoko Onos all at the same time singing in harmony" 😂🤣😀😁😄🤪

@abbyjones3974 Ай бұрын

❤

@timberlin4075 2 ай бұрын

how is this guy consistently funny in standup, on a podcast with anyone, or just solo reading random emails?

@conradsz 5 жыл бұрын

Listening to this in ATL airport lounge waiting for my cross-Atlantic flight. Beautiful.

@jonniehobby3690 4 жыл бұрын

Why ya goin across the Atlantic, Bill??

@robertdore9592 4 жыл бұрын

bet you feel like turning back....

@enzoofelba 3 жыл бұрын

Okay, now I'm concerned

@TheAirsoftW0lf 2 жыл бұрын

@@sexyboyonzecouch gig.

@Sleazball_ Жыл бұрын

Did u make it safely lol

@janetwhite7786 2 жыл бұрын

I flew the plane with the "club car" back in the day. As soon as the seat belt sign went off you could go sit in a comfortable chair and get as drunk as possible while smoking a pack of cigs. And yes, you dressed up. It was awesome. And once the book "Coffee, Tea or Me" came out, i wanted to be a stew. Then i grew up. Sadly.

@kobked-x Жыл бұрын

well you look like a nice soup, so not all was a lost dream :)

@IMN602 Жыл бұрын

Bills sense of humor itself is a national treasure

@ralphmorales3692 4 жыл бұрын

Love how Bill tells himself "get back to the story" and just keeps talking about something else. ADD is funny when its not you staring out the window going on a ride thinking of nothing.

@charissa7052 3 жыл бұрын

"Why are you going to Indianapolis, Bill?" 🤣

@TheAgentmigs 2 жыл бұрын

Classic Bill Burr story hahaha.

@BenzinbrowncrryysLer3000 28 күн бұрын

I love that story so much 🤣

@guntherultraboltnovacrunch5248 3 жыл бұрын

I love how Bill calls his wife "dude" occasionally, makes me feel a little better about doing it myself.

@tomwoltering5071 3 жыл бұрын

Your YT handle is outrageous

@guntherultraboltnovacrunch5248 3 жыл бұрын

@@tomwoltering5071 Thanks man! (My initials are G.U.N.!)

@Syv_ 2 жыл бұрын

@@tomwoltering5071 Your use of you’re is outrageous

@tommy_noble 2 жыл бұрын

@@Syv_ shut up Meg

@singleplayerreview3238 2 жыл бұрын

I call my wife brother sometimes

@mikeclark6303 5 жыл бұрын

As someone that works in a cubicle, thanks for putting this together 👍

@drobese5301 5 жыл бұрын

I remember listening to that podcast on a plane sitting next to one of those animals... the laughter I was going trough left my stomach hurting so bad I thought I got stabbed.

@cjsappenfield9394 2 жыл бұрын

@dmbindallas 2 жыл бұрын

Ok never really listened to him but seriously enjoyable…now a definite bill Burr fan

@dereckpitcher2630 Жыл бұрын

👍

@Spongebathe830 3 жыл бұрын

i miss PanAm. As a child they served goat cheese as part of a meal... it was how i learned i didn't like goat cheese. But they had good services in retrospect. They didn't try to cram peoplings like anchovies in a can, not like now.

@comicbookprodigy995 3 жыл бұрын

Never flown in my life. Do they really serve anchovies? Good Lord.

@janewildly 2 жыл бұрын

Lol Bill telling people to shut up when they start singing the lion king song. He’s like the voice in my head when I’m around a loud person

@stirgy4312 2 жыл бұрын

If Bill was on one of my flights, it would have been his main routine. Philadelphia to Vegas around 2000. A bunch of drunk eagles fans took over the plane. Harassing stewardesses and patrons. Drunken racial slurs, early landing in St Louis to kick them all off. A few of them never even sat down even during landing. It was something to see. Represent my city and my team. Something I will never forget, then an old guy got caught smoking in the bathroom and that turned into an issue as his wife with the American flag outfit was making a big stink about it.

@RainbowFlowerCrow 2 жыл бұрын

Lmao!! I love plane stories so much!! I hate the entire process of flying anywhere, and you have my sympathy! I think my worst plane story is when my daughter, (who was 9 at the time), and I were flying from Toronto to London, England, so a 9 hour flight, and my spouse upgraded us to 1st class so that we could have a good time.. We were seated with this 400 pound man who was literally spilling over into my seat, and *farted the entire flight!* I thought I was going to throw up, and I was 4 months pregnant at the time, so I already had morning sickness, then I kept being woken up by every movement that the man made, plus his horrendous farts which you could smell from about 5 rows down! It was so awful lmao!! I think flight attendants should provide Imodium for such cases, because nobody should have to suffer through sitting beside a bloated gasbag for hours on end whilst being trapped in a flying tin can!!

@strugz3484 Жыл бұрын

Of course it was Philadelphia people

@sidebite2533 Жыл бұрын

Philly People are just Fowl Animals

@DarthMackzodroginstomp Жыл бұрын

One-bridge having motherfuckers

@TM-gu6bp 5 жыл бұрын

oh my god. I literally dumped my cereal all over myself laughing, listening to the fat man story. I love your rage

@Inevitable-Infarct 5 жыл бұрын

Why ye going to Indianapolis BILL?

@Jimbo386000 5 жыл бұрын

Tyler Gordon yeah bill...

@GeorgeArum 5 жыл бұрын

That one made me so mad

@reiddissinger402 5 жыл бұрын

Literally my favorite story from him 😂😂

@Wallyworld30 5 жыл бұрын

One of those animators need to animate that tale. It's amazing.

@garrettwaggoner507 5 жыл бұрын

timestamp?

@SampsonGG 3 жыл бұрын

"Excuse me sir? Excuse me sir? Can you not sir in the sir please sir?" This is the funniest fuckin thing I've ever heard Bill say. Holy shit that laugh was a work out

@DaughterofAlbion 2 жыл бұрын

“What kind of man has a hat box?” 😂

@sparkyspark964 2 жыл бұрын

Love you Bill Burr. Having flown domestic and foreign, I understand what you’re talking about! I dress respectfully and wear clothes that won’t melt into my skin in the off chance there’s an accident.

@toymomofthree7870 Жыл бұрын

LOVE Bill's no nonsense common sense!!

@Psilocybin77 4 жыл бұрын

This is why I love Bill Burr, he understands common decency. In so many situations now I watch people and wonder where there common sense or sense of decency is. I have to drive a lot for work unfortunately, and I genuinely believe that the way you driveis a reflection of who you are as a person. Signal lights use: them; plan your route and be in the lane you need to be in.

@metalmarcadkins 5 жыл бұрын

Thanks for the upload. Always enjoy listening to the great Bill Burr.

@L47M 4 жыл бұрын

"he was like a planet with a head" LMFAO the brutallity that is Bill !!

@Psilocybin77 4 жыл бұрын

that's definitely a joke from the movie "So I married an axe murderer" where a kid has a head so big it has it's own weather system.

@mnthol 5 жыл бұрын

My favourite comedian rambling about my favourite subject

@charagukariuki9452 3 жыл бұрын

He gat all airline confused

@philb1113 5 жыл бұрын

Never realized I could relate and laugh my balls off at the same time!

@RockPhonic 4 жыл бұрын

“A wizard walked up to me and what he said will change your life forever” 😂😂😂😂😂

@Jimbowman484 2 жыл бұрын

The movie "Airplane" was one of the best airplane movies of time. It was the most real movie of all time.

@janetwhite7786 2 жыл бұрын

Personal fav of mine.

@eamoncrawford 4 жыл бұрын

Leaking lithium cell phone battery + aluminum aircraft parts = 💨💥🔥

@jjody4267 Жыл бұрын

I remember flying before that happened. It was luxurious. After, they added seats to every row, stopped serving decent food and crammed us all together. Now, it’s just a Greyhound in the sky.

@UpbeatdataFO4 2 жыл бұрын

And I believe it to my core how awesome you are w your shows. I was very lucky to see one. ! Love you Bill

@jacoblaffoon6485 3 жыл бұрын

Kids fighting on KZfaq bringing him to tears 😂. I am fucking dying

@t3ddy2shoes 5 жыл бұрын

🎶🎶"Take your hand of my shoooouuuulllderrrrrrrrrr."🎶🎶😂😂

@anthonymcrooster3703 2 жыл бұрын

I love falling asleep to this video. Thank you :)

@seksehfox 3 жыл бұрын

“Remember Value Jet? That one went down” Unintentional greatness

@Lemmy1899 4 жыл бұрын

This is my favorite youtube video of all time. Thanks for making this

@matthewstjohn342 3 жыл бұрын

"Holy shit, do I like being informed?"

@targetfootball7807 5 жыл бұрын

There are no comfortable spaces inside airports. Unless it involves spending all your money.

@prettyfardotcom 5 жыл бұрын

Never gotten hammered at a airport lounge bro?

@barryallen9466 5 жыл бұрын

I usually just post up in a corner and it's not too bad

@grapesoder1301 5 жыл бұрын

@@barryallen9466 bmp

@dickhitswater4836 2 жыл бұрын

In the airport I work at they have sensory overload rooms to relax in, basically a safe space for stressed passengers.

@DanielCrist 2 жыл бұрын

Get yourself a Priority Pass membership, I think they cost like $200 per year (I'm not sure exactly, it's included with my Amex Platinum + 2 guests, also the Chase Sapphire Reserve offers it) but then you have access to Business/First class lounges in virtually every major airport in the world, even done random ones in third world countries. You can eat good hot food and help yourself to an open bar in a quiet comfortable lounge with wifi. Many have showers with bathroom attendants cleaning then after each person. It's a must have if you fly regularly and aren't already flying business or first.

@mitchcrane88 4 жыл бұрын

"They look like ostriches" 😂😂

@joes6108 2 жыл бұрын

Why are you going to Indianapolis Bill?

@jessemedina4482 5 жыл бұрын

"Male stewardess" I'm using that one Billy Amber Pubes..

@Anjunabeast23 5 жыл бұрын

“Lotta bare feet, Lotta bare feet”

@63Baggies 4 жыл бұрын

...that was really funny....

@michaelppaull 2 жыл бұрын

I fell asleep to this last night.

@eedobee 5 жыл бұрын

Why you going to Minneapolis Bill??

@enjoi0555 5 жыл бұрын

eedobee Indianapolis

@reiddissinger402 5 жыл бұрын

@@enjoi0555 got the polis's mixed up

@r.edward5701 4 жыл бұрын

Used to have a happening restroom

@jonniehobby3690 4 жыл бұрын

Mona Lisa Ryan Gosling smirk

@Psilocybin77 4 жыл бұрын

probably not any time soon.....

@nyChannel09 2 жыл бұрын

"40 yoko onos (pause ) in harmony" caught me off guard

@keennickolas8575 4 жыл бұрын

5:54 "Holy shit, do I like being informed?" - Bill Burr xDD

@TheRrxing Жыл бұрын

So true. Says what normal people think, but can't say it out loud. Love him!!!

@mrcontroversy222 2 жыл бұрын

God this is the only ASMR I need…amazing listening.

@Tropyy 3 жыл бұрын

“that mona lisa smile” LMFAOOOO

@Mick-hp4yg 5 жыл бұрын

I find it funny that Bill has 3 hours worth of airplane/port content lol

@Villainyjustified 2 жыл бұрын

The sheer classism of the airline part🤣🤣🤣

@dereckpitcher2630 Жыл бұрын

👍

@floridaman4073 3 жыл бұрын

Bill you are a national treasure.

@DRSHANKER 6 жыл бұрын

Beat him so hard he went from Chinese to Japanese is what he was trying to say haha

@calska140 5 жыл бұрын

He was white but his eyes swelled shut from the beating.

@rverro8478 5 жыл бұрын

I totally lost it @ 1:39:07.....I barely can write, while the tears rolls off my cheeks.

@Twobarpsi 5 жыл бұрын

I'm at 1:29:0. Cant wait to hear that!

@Twobarpsi 5 жыл бұрын

Omg!

@jacappy111 5 жыл бұрын

I was 7min. in & now I'm fast forwarding to 1:39🤣 I'll get back to you, it better be worth it 🤔!!

@jacappy111 5 жыл бұрын

I'm back.. I guess it doesn't take much to make you laugh 🤓💩🖕👎‼️‼️

@rverro8478 4 жыл бұрын

@@jacappy111 Well, in all honesty, I imagined the facial expression of Bill, while he was ranting and that was enough for me.Thumb's-up for the emojis.

@MrAwning Жыл бұрын

The "good old days" of flying are all I remember. The last time I was on a commercial airliner was in February of '82, and that was a military charter returning from the Middle East. From everything I hear I don't believe I'll ever fly again.

@MichaelMedici61W2 5 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this

@nicolquick9998 5 жыл бұрын

Robin Williams as “the Aladdin”

@PICFL1 4 жыл бұрын

Im just as big of a wrestling fan as i am a Bill Burr fan and his constant wrestling references make me love em even more😂

@neckshredder1 3 жыл бұрын

No backpacks in the Octagon. LMAO!

@thereisnosanctuary6184 4 жыл бұрын

Bill has never made a long story short.

@comicbookprodigy995 3 жыл бұрын

He's perfect for youtube.

@josephgilliand4 4 жыл бұрын

Bill, not to spoil your rage, but the radiation from the x-ray machine is less than the radiation from outer space you're going to be exposed to by flying at the plane's cruising altitude. The airlines don't like to point this out:)

@markviereck4547 2 жыл бұрын

Back in the 1960s my uncle lived in California , and we were in New Jersey. He flew every year to see us on American Airlines.. it was $500 round trip.. that’s like $4500 now. So if you want to fly comfortably now go 1st class.

@laxguy6918 Жыл бұрын

I work for delta and a few of my coworkers worked for pan am when they went out of business, they said they loaded up a plane when an announcement came over the terminal that all the flights were canceled and pan am had went out of business.

@carolyntalbot947 2 жыл бұрын

This was awesome, thanks for uploading!

@randomBBL 2 жыл бұрын

I'm a travel agent and a little tip for anyone listening about the airlines removing people from their flight. The airline CANNOT bump you if you have a confirmed seat assignment. Not a ticket but a seat assignment "9D or 1A". When you purchase your flight, you purchase a ticket and sometimes people don't pick their seat and just plan on doing it at the airport. DON'T EVER DO THAT and always pick your seat assignment, even if you have to choose a middle seat. You can always try and change it at the airport but grab the seat assignment and then they cannot legally bump you from that flight.

@takeonetheater 2 жыл бұрын

Great tip..thanks

@kendude8089 4 жыл бұрын

The Moral of the Story! Be Happy with What ya Got! 😎

@calebheney302 2 жыл бұрын

31:12 i didnt not hear "neighors" at first lmao.

@victorlmercadojr110 4 жыл бұрын

I would never introduced Bill Burr so I will say happy holidays and happy New Year mister Burr holy shit I just dig your perception of life and your mind to what comes out of it connections

@PurushNahiMahaPurush 3 жыл бұрын

10:05 they look like ostriches 😂

@islandchief2572 3 жыл бұрын

I never understood that about an airline...they kick people out because they accidentally over booked the flight...my point is the person being kicked out also bought their flight and is in the freakin plane first!..point blank..Screw the other passenger who came later than those who boarded first!

@lindeycraft2518 Ай бұрын

Aviation brat here. Dad worked/retired TWA. I, his daughter did as well. Saw first hand working on the frontlines from SW Airlines to ground ops for United to Signature Flight Support private FBO.

@timothydonovan1261 Жыл бұрын

Bill Burr is even right when he's wrong . Love that dude G.O.A.T.

@guillermo3564 2 жыл бұрын

It's hysterical that Bill's references to real life are always what movie he saw. Yeah, movies. That's real life.

@bryfill1267 2 жыл бұрын

You’re not listening

@dianapennepacker6854 2 жыл бұрын

Dude is referencing because it is easier.

@jamesspooky9488 2 жыл бұрын

I have one hat box, it was my grandfathers so I just kind of kept it because it’s the only container that fits all of my ties nicely lol. There’s no hat in it, just a lifetime collection of ties all rolled up neatly stored inside lol

@robertwoods3750 5 жыл бұрын

you can almost see the light bulb over bill's head go off...hilarious

@np494609 5 жыл бұрын

This is a riot, the fat guy from winnipeg story when the guy says there's a food court had me dying

@MrRandomcommentguy 5 жыл бұрын

Con Air was a good movie set on a plane...

@gimmedaloot8168 4 жыл бұрын

That Liam Neson movie was actually a good ass movie

@jacobadams5924 4 жыл бұрын

Die Hard 2! (Die Harder...)

@comicbookprodigy995 3 жыл бұрын

Flight Plan and Red Eye are both good.

@SkateOrDie666 Ай бұрын

@@comicbookprodigy995Red Eye

@trentshaffermidwestronin5419 3 жыл бұрын

"Dad jeans and flip flops, so I gotta give it up to the guy, alright, ya know, to show that kinda quickness with like, ya know, a 1/3 of a shoe on." Lol 😆

@joshsmith6600 2 жыл бұрын

So nice finally hearing how Bill met Bert Kreischer 😀

@voliteon Жыл бұрын

Lmao! Thanks for the laugh

@rverro8478 5 жыл бұрын

1:39:07 Priceless.

@entusiast1619 6 жыл бұрын

Billiams laughter is the best :D

@trentthompson5734 Жыл бұрын

I feel like I'm in Bill's head while he's reading fan mail

@ElGranSanto 10 күн бұрын

"Huh? I'm Jimmy Carter." 😂😂😂

@spettit2011 5 жыл бұрын

Wa be be be be ba Wa wah wah wah wah, right?

@carlhartwell7978 5 жыл бұрын

Ohhhhhh, now I know why people look at me weird in public toilets! I'll defo use the fly from now on!

@tnwhitley 4 жыл бұрын

Carl Hartwell damn, so that’s why you also kept getting ass fckd too, ya think?! 🤦🏻‍♂️😝😂😂

@TairyHesticles 6 жыл бұрын

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SHERVISH

@samuelneil2691 4 жыл бұрын

That show was called Bait Car and the whole point was because there was a high number of auto thefts in those areas that were never solved. But a pretty easy way to not get arrested would be to not steal cars just saying.

@misteranderson8369 4 жыл бұрын

i would say the movie "airplane!" is a good movie that takes place on an airplane...

@BasedRoots 4 жыл бұрын

Red eye wasn’t bad. Wasn’t good. But wasn’t bad.

@josejoaquinbenitez6485 2 жыл бұрын

"Or as they say in Boston: Saaaaaay!!" hahahahah

@garyjones7252 2 жыл бұрын

I resemble that remark. Sandals and all. You're hilarious Bill. 😅🤣😂

@TrollHiddenCave 3 жыл бұрын

When he says level of animal I picture a cartoon tube filled with a bunch of cartoon animals and it's rising and falling depending on what Bill Burr says

@bromeliad11 2 жыл бұрын

Bill I was a flight attendant for 37 years I can't tell you how many people I saw go into the lavatory barefoot .sometimes it was a very attractive woman and that really bothered me.

@SaltyChip 2 жыл бұрын

42:10 “the 70s… an incredible meeting of pubes!” LOL that my new fav way of breaking down the 70s

@kenjifox4264 2 жыл бұрын

15:00 always helps to fly with: 1) Noise-canceling headphones (ones that cover your entire ears), wired not wireless so you don’t run out of power. Blocks all noise. 2) fully charged music player filled with hours of your favorite music. Or plug into the inflight entertainment music. 3) eye mask to keep the light out and sleep. 4) comfy clothing and sandals if possible.

@jamesball5743 Жыл бұрын

Sandals? This is the most disgusting admission how trashy can you be???

@kenjifox4264 Жыл бұрын

@@jamesball5743 haha you don’t know how to travel long haul. When you do US-Japan flights or US-Europe flights you change into your sandals once you’re seated after take-off. And of course you don’t go barefoot, you wear comfy socks, and wool socks are best.