Bill Maher's New Rules #3

Рет қаралды 2,381,421

6 жыл бұрын

A selection of Maher's funniest new rules between 2008 and 2012.
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Other Bill Maher compilations: • Bill Maher Compilations
If you want more of these compilations, please consider showing some love on Patreon: patreon.com/mostlybillmaherclips

Пікірлер: 498

@washingtonconsultants1041 4 жыл бұрын

OMG "Alla and Mohamad are names not associated with air safety," LMAO i laughed my ass off.

@-.00__I__o8o__I__00. 3 жыл бұрын

Seems more like a suicidal/homicidal pilot at the end…

@OntarioAndrews415 2 жыл бұрын

That had me cracking up LOL for real. :)

@Ash-ow5yc 5 жыл бұрын

“Oh, go turn over to regular tv if you’re so offended. 🙄” Reasons why I love Bill Maher.

@jerryguzman2847 4 жыл бұрын

I love a hot girl who likes bill Maher!

@RohitChouhan-dj7se 4 жыл бұрын

YOU ARE MY ALL TIME M.ILF 😘

@RohitChouhan-dj7se 4 жыл бұрын

@Sam Girshovich MOFO AFRAID OF COMPETITION?

@AndreasBelivanakis 5 жыл бұрын

"...paused to pray, instead of following emergency procedures as his plane was crashing. Yes, as the plane started to down down, the muslim captain's first response was to call on Allah and Mohammed, two names that aren't exactly associated with air safety." Priceless.

@Birdtendo 3 ай бұрын

Can't believe I studied Tunisia in grade 3

@MScorpioM 4 жыл бұрын

Ten minutes of pure laughter. That last bit was utterly hilarious and spot-on. Bill Maher is amazing!

@chancewallace47 5 жыл бұрын

"Bill Maher's editorials are always so dann good! It's crazy.. Consistently one of the best parts of my week each and every week. Dude is a national treasure. So funny,, utterly fearless, unapologetically honest and completely spot on/correct about every issue he discusses. Even if you're too PC to recognize it" -Bill Maher

@calvindisroe4572 5 жыл бұрын

For sure

@Nathan-hs2ut 5 жыл бұрын

Facts!

@grex1242 3 жыл бұрын

You obviously don't have much of a life.

@SuperPhilipT 6 жыл бұрын

Bill is one of the best.

@maryconn1 3 жыл бұрын

*Bill is the best!

@sidney.a.turner659 3 жыл бұрын

@TIME TRAVEL p

@theafrican3752 3 жыл бұрын

He is the best.

@tomcurless1733 3 жыл бұрын

I think he speaks truth

@donaldcook2484 4 жыл бұрын

Bills the best!! Nobody since Carlin.. both r in a league by themselves.

@codykendall2846 3 жыл бұрын

Carlin would eat bill alive

@robertcavalier6133 5 жыл бұрын

Bill is SPOT ON! Bless this man! Thankfully -- someone behind a microphone actually thinks! * Cav *

@mathieuL2204 2 жыл бұрын

Such a funny, likable dude. My favorite comedian by a wide margin!

@abhishekkhandkar Жыл бұрын

The eat pray love joke physically hurt me 🤣

@TheKrazysexykool 7 ай бұрын

My favorite Bill Maher joke of all time

@cheapconstructioncc1675 4 жыл бұрын

The most savage burn (your baby looks like biggy smalls) 😂😂😂😂😂

@baashi3578 5 жыл бұрын

"Mostly Bill Maher clips" that is what you call a channel... unique stuff man

@hanumantjoshi 4 жыл бұрын

one of the few real comedians left out there...

@millerforester3184 10 ай бұрын

pun intended?

@Declan_Moriarty 5 жыл бұрын

2nd shooter !? Bill stop it! LOL

@vickilawrence7207 5 жыл бұрын

I loved the ammo sexual!

@recusantbile9829 5 жыл бұрын

It's cool they show the guests reacting to the new rules.

@sharifnur124 5 жыл бұрын

I'm Muslim and that was very funny joke

@AhmedEtman79 5 жыл бұрын

Good to see a Muslim with a good sense of humor. :)

@taylor7077 5 жыл бұрын

Me too it's funny and sad that what we have become really

@dex7145 5 жыл бұрын

@yujil da Racist as always.

@IRosamelia 5 жыл бұрын

You aren't a very good muslim in the traditional sense of the word 🕌

@dex7145 5 жыл бұрын

Surfer Rosa What am I supposed to call him then?

@stephh4495 5 жыл бұрын

3:23 "All the current Pope does is not see anything" Heh, not-see. I see what you did there, Bill.

@kenbaker-ps6ej 3 ай бұрын

Got it. Good one.

@joshlobsenz7252 6 жыл бұрын

"Allah and Mohammad, two names that aren't exactly associated with air safety"

@robertdavis4192 6 жыл бұрын

oh that's not politically correct, for shame

@muhammadnazir6881 6 жыл бұрын

It was so good I ain't even mad.

@ladyvincenza 6 жыл бұрын

You are awesome:)

@fatimatuzzahra4036 6 жыл бұрын

yeah, cz innocent ppl praying o these names get bombed and killed anyway

@randalldavis3251 6 жыл бұрын

It WazWaz a joke. Get it?

@tubewatcher38 6 жыл бұрын

Strong finish.

@hoffer54 4 жыл бұрын

Great compilation! Definitely a funny one, thanks for posting!

@phoebegraveyard7225 6 жыл бұрын

You know what we call motorcyclists who don’t wear helmets? Organ Donor.

@Ericwvb2 5 жыл бұрын

What do you call the high performance motorcycles sold to reckless young men who end up crashing? Donorcycles.

@jcarry5214 5 жыл бұрын

If hep c is your thing, at least where I grew up.

@tehutibrim594 5 жыл бұрын

Biker Boyz

@koolkitties8552 5 жыл бұрын

Thats an old one

@malcolmjohnston3227 5 жыл бұрын

Many years ago we hired a young engineer that was still riding his college motorcycle... but now in Los Angeles (Mexican for "City of Angel-dust") I told him it was too dangerous (FOR A WHILE AT UCLA I RELUCTANTLY HAD TO). He told me he was saving up for a car so the motorcycle was temporary. Looking back I wish I'd helped him find a good car and lent him the money (I wasn't rich either but I knew how to buy a good cheap car and should have suggested that as an interim so he'd be able to take his time and save up for a really nice car; ie. keep him safe while convincing him, as I had OTHERs, to SAVE UP FOR FIRST HOUSE BEFORE ALL THE OTHER 'STUFF'). I CONVINCED SEVERAL TO DO THIS AND NOW THEY HAVE THE HOUSE AND THE CLASSIC CAR -ANOTHER SUGGESTION... DO NOT SPEND MONEY ON DEPRECIATING ASSETS, APPRECIATING ASSETS ARE HOUSES, COLLECTIBLE CARS, AND definitely NOT BIT COINS (like tulips-1700s Holland)!!

@bachblues2 4 жыл бұрын

Hahahaha! Bill doesn't sleep trying to figure out these hilarious verbal pranks at machine gun speed.

@ScottSmith-ln7he 5 жыл бұрын

The titles are the funniest parts!!!!

@democlips1 3 жыл бұрын

The captions underneath every “new rule” are pure gold!

@saggitarius6155 2 жыл бұрын

Wanted to put a Like, and discovered it was already there. I may have watched this several times! You can never get tired of Bill's jokes! 🤣🤣🤣

@karenmoore5831 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you Bill for your amazing Comedy Relief! You never disappoint! I have watch you through your whole career! IMHO, you are one of the BEST!

@bicyclist2 5 жыл бұрын

Now That was funny! Thank you.

@SvenTviking 6 жыл бұрын

Grape. THE most artificial flavour known to man. Tastes like a huge petrochemical plant.

@timkeenan7419 Жыл бұрын

Loved it. Great video to watch with my morning coffee

@rebbeshort 6 жыл бұрын

Thank you for being honest in the description of what this video is. Kind of refreshing considering what normally goes on here on KZfaq. I don't mind regurgitated shit, as long as you label it correctly.

@catalinasimmons6314 6 жыл бұрын

Reb Short fuck off

@rebbeshort 6 жыл бұрын

Really? That's as good as you got? And what the fuck are you on about, anyway?

@TheDaveIAmm 6 жыл бұрын

Reb Short catalina is the one who prays to god Will

@catalinasimmons6314 6 жыл бұрын

Dicks,I'm an atheist

@tacoheadmakenzie9311 5 жыл бұрын

No, I'm an atheist. You're a dick.

@carleahull 6 жыл бұрын

Thanks. Ï am watching tennis from now on.

@Xavier_Coogat_the_Mambo_King 5 жыл бұрын

The second shooter joke hahahahaha damn

@mahatmacote6478 6 жыл бұрын

All I can say is; Aaaahahahahaaa! (Thanks)

@yoitsAndy1 5 жыл бұрын

LOL! Excellent!

@181cameron 6 жыл бұрын

Ends on several good notes.

@johnchristiansen9095 5 жыл бұрын

My Dew’s slogan used to be “It’ll tickle your innards”! lol!

@swinde 6 жыл бұрын

The loudest Grunt-fest in a tennis match I can remember was Maria Sharapova vs Victoria Azarenka several years ago. A local talk radio FM station Played the audio from the match. It sounded viciously erotic, especially if you weren't informed that it was from a tennis match. Both of these girls are loud screamers.

@ronaldpetrin5823 5 жыл бұрын

Lets get it on You Tube. lol.

@shawndavis8111 5 жыл бұрын

ya'll r wild lol

@anton1949 5 жыл бұрын

Shsssh I'm almost there.

@leondarcy7367 5 жыл бұрын

@Charisma 101 Also, there's no evidence that you went to school... It's collusion.

@lorettanericcio-bohlman567 5 жыл бұрын

In your dreams

@TheVivianable 6 жыл бұрын

Yeap, pretty well done! Thanks

@louielouie22 6 жыл бұрын

The last one hahahahaha!!!

@marvincool3744 6 жыл бұрын

That was so Bill.

@burningknight7 5 жыл бұрын

He really went there XD

@cecilbarnard1203 5 жыл бұрын

@@burningknight7 h

@blamtasticful 6 жыл бұрын

Oh my god when I scrolled down to the comments while listening I realized Maher sounds exactly like an angry Tom Bergeron.

@felixroman9007 4 жыл бұрын

Great stuff

@billschipper1718 5 жыл бұрын

another great video. lol 😂

@judylittle1138 Жыл бұрын

Oh i loved it !!!

@raleighmorrisville4011 6 жыл бұрын

FOOTBALL JERKOFF NAP LOL

@snorton6138 3 жыл бұрын

Hot Dog eating contest + fireworks = Universal Healthcare

@ja3482 4 жыл бұрын

6:58 "Oh, well..." lol

@pranafoods1 4 жыл бұрын

Comedians save lives.

@jacobzaranyika9334 2 жыл бұрын

Totally up to you

@Mevenda1 4 жыл бұрын

The Sharapova one had me rolling

@heartwisdomlove 5 жыл бұрын

OMG THE BEST MOST HILARIOUS FUNNY !!!

@Ericwvb2 5 жыл бұрын

I think the sign is supposed to read "Do not doubt our God's will" but they ran out of space ... This reminds me of the movie "Idiocracy." The hospital is called "St. God Memorial Hospital" but they ran out of space so the last few letters are vertical on the building.

@KingdomKalifornia 5 жыл бұрын

I think it was supposed to be "Do not doubt our God, Do not doubt our will", but who the hell knows

@blackprince4074 Жыл бұрын

!.38 the look on Michaels face is priceless, Mmmmm white flight or just jealousy.

@jassange2921 3 жыл бұрын

Das coot. Best maher ever. I dont always like him or agree but when he s got a good one he s got one

@williamellis-xd1rm Жыл бұрын

DAS COOT! IM DYING HERE! LMAO!

@eiwindiversen4431 10 ай бұрын

Brilliant!

@KingHoborg 6 жыл бұрын

Maybe it's "Do not doubt, our god will [doubt for us]"?

@darbyzworld 5 жыл бұрын

I don't speak stupid....what does that mean?

@JDines 4 жыл бұрын

I suspect one of the words is missing an apostrophe followed by the letter S.

@trentsolo1883 5 жыл бұрын

Lmaoooo the first one haha

@johnmoore3930 5 жыл бұрын

makes me wonder why I used to like Bill when he was on tv

@adam_p99 6 жыл бұрын

The 2nd shooter comment was great.

@Pinkielover 4 жыл бұрын

always makes me laugh

@fartknocker8363 5 жыл бұрын

"second shooter".....damn.

@yolamontalvan9502 5 жыл бұрын

@6:13 Why did you remove the Trump Joke? They are the best ones. Don’t remove them. Trump has made comedy great again.

@NotDuncan 4 жыл бұрын

@Charisma 101 darwinists and evolutionists? What are you talking about?

@miadelavier4315 4 жыл бұрын

You’re kids will die because of trump one day. I wanna see if you laugh then.

@wayneurquhart1967 3 жыл бұрын

@@miadelavier4315 How did you look into the future Mia?

@okiepita50t-town28 5 жыл бұрын

That shit is hilarious man.

@raquelalban8043 5 жыл бұрын

james crawfordn

@paxwallacejazz 6 жыл бұрын

In Will we trust

@Tmanaz480 5 жыл бұрын

But we are saved by Grace. :-)

@drlee2 5 жыл бұрын

paxwallacejazz That was the funniest bit.

@lorenanders702 3 жыл бұрын

@@Tmanaz480 yea, she sure is amazing! 😜

@saundrawells2603 5 жыл бұрын

As a lifetime Bill Maher admirer, this compilation of "funnies" are not representative of why I watch his broadcasts. Great guests, guest panel discussions-comments-particularly political ones. Thankyou Bill Maher and " 'Company"!

@ricaard 6 жыл бұрын

Can Newt run? 😂

@joryjones6808 5 жыл бұрын

ricaard no he’s too out of shape.

@TheNefastor 5 жыл бұрын

Those loud tenniswomen sure know their audience !

@donadeavera9608 Жыл бұрын

Totally hysterical. Funniest I ever seen you do.

@tracer740 4 жыл бұрын

... I had to come up for air. Thank goodness for the pause control!

@Suite_annamite 5 жыл бұрын

@6:06: Wow, it's currently *March 14th* as I'm randomly watching this!

@radamson1 Жыл бұрын

That was ten minutes I will bever get back!

@richardkuda321 4 жыл бұрын

Very nice. So funny .

@dougboggio7098 5 жыл бұрын

Jeez, that picture of the pope makes him look so evil...........

@rattusnorvegicus4380 4 жыл бұрын

They generally are, goes with the territory/history, apart from The Smiling Pope, but hey they murdered him because he was planning on giving all the Vatican`s vast wealth to the poor.

@ralphgizzip4408 Жыл бұрын

Eiffel Glower -> Chewbacca is dangerous when angered.

@stargazer1359 6 жыл бұрын

Sorry, I don't speak Bumpkin

@meridamerkley9964 6 жыл бұрын

Star Gazer)

@thomasgordin5522 5 жыл бұрын

the under in their name bill

@markvietti 5 жыл бұрын

wish he would do a segment on Monsanto and round up in are food

@hannuala-olla4302 6 жыл бұрын

Do not doubt because God will(doubt).

@independentsistah 6 жыл бұрын

I can't stand Bill Maher but I have to admit he's funny at!😂😂😂😂😂😂

@mariocordeiro8728 5 жыл бұрын

Second shooter...good one Bill

@chaseberwick7801 3 жыл бұрын

Tennis suddenly seems very interesting.

@JoannaWagnerClaireSangre 6 жыл бұрын

Sick joke among the organ transplant community. If you want to find a donor faster, move to Florida; no helmet laws.

@suzclayton783 4 жыл бұрын

Donorcycles

@cindystoon8396 Жыл бұрын

Pretty good

@lindagrizlby9708 Жыл бұрын

Sounds like Bill Maher is back! LOL

@olivierdamiron7279 3 жыл бұрын

Genius!!!! Maher for President damn it!

@LatishaWhite4 6 жыл бұрын

LMAO

@leondarcy7367 5 жыл бұрын

5:58 that's low. Half of Google staff is offended.

@KicaDaniel-pl1fn Ай бұрын

That Joseph Kony is my clan mate 😂😂

@steelcityking7316 6 жыл бұрын

FootballJerkoffNap HAHAHA 🤣🤣😂

@kellygervais3440 3 жыл бұрын

That jfk bit was the best!

@krisg3984 Жыл бұрын

Watched : for “That Look that will go down in history “ha😅

@joanbarkdull543 Жыл бұрын

good laughs...never too many of those

5 жыл бұрын

JohnCook Australia. Beware the ides of March. Watch out Trump they're coming for you !

@Ed17844 4 жыл бұрын

lol. he's just too funny

@tyrannosaurusburke 4 жыл бұрын

1:31 I've seen this picture before. Can someone please explain it to me?

@mac_tire_aonair Жыл бұрын

Maria Sharapova - pure Bill gold

@WildwoodClaire1 4 жыл бұрын

Norovirus is something one ingests after someone who wiped their ass with their bare hand handles your food.

@alienhivemind7121 4 жыл бұрын

Good vid. Heres ur like. Now lemme go to sleep

@91rummy 6 жыл бұрын

Religious fanaticism at its peaks.. !!

@francismuiruri9064 3 жыл бұрын

Intellectually funny

@ComTruiseCT 4 жыл бұрын

I wonder how Maria Sharapova responded to it 😂