That keith Lee affect analogy is 100% truth. I had an ex hit me up last week after 16 years. I actually forgot all about her. I always tell people, the one major decision is life changing. If you are a good person, I promise you. They will NEVER forget you. Update: I’ll do my best not to make it long. We met up at BJ’s restaurant, we mostly communicated through text messages. I ended up being there first, as she walked. I stood up and greeted her with a hug, she started to cry. As we waited to be seated we chatted a little bit. I didn’t want to get in a deep conversation with people all around us. Once we got the table situated, I told her you have the floor. She thanks me for meeting up with me after 16 years. She gave me a run down of all what transpired in her life over the years we didn’t speak. I won’t go to deep into that conversation. She told me, I remember the things you use to say to me. I use to tell her, why are you SORRY for what you did. You knew exactly what you’re where doing at the time you did it. You told me 16 years ago, where in the Bible does it say sorry? You taught me to ask for Forgiveness. I’m asking you tonight to Forgive me for what I put you threw. I didn’t realize how good I had it, the men after you didn’t compare. She has 2 kids, same dad. They never really got along. I asked her, you saw the red flags in the beginning with him going out drinking not being a man of his word. Why would you not only have one kid, you turn around and have a 2nd. I thought having a 2nd kid would change things. I just looked at her and just SMH. She, asked me if I had kids. I told her no! Your 55, great man with no kids. Now, before everyone starts putting me on blast, of why I don’t have kids. I did a tour in Desert storm (ARMY)! I have screws in my lower spine, lots of stitches over my body. I average 4 to 6 hr.’s of sleep a night for the last 30 years, with plenty of pain meds next to me bed. I didn’t want to be selfish, and try to raise a kid in so much pain and not be able to play with them. Or just do the simple things in life, how to tie a shoe, ride a bike, fly a kite! Just simple things for me. I remember, it was a night raid. On our way to the object, SGT Mitchell step on some sort land mine. Blew his left leg off, I remember looking over and everything seemed to be in slow motion. Between the return fire and yelling and movement. I made my way over to him and carried him behind a wall. No, he didn’t make it. For the one’s on here reading this. My heart goes out to the people who have had loves ones that didn’t make it back. Let me stay on track! She just wanted to meet up and ask for my forgiveness. As soon as I told her I forgave her. I could see whatever had a hold of her on the inside, gave her peace within. I didn’t this about 10 years ago or so. I got in contact with some of the women I hurt in the past, some cursed me, some never returned my email or calls. Some actually said, thank you for reaching out and asking for forgiveness. I tell people all the time, we are never promised tomorrow. So why do I watch Coach Blac or a few other ones. Trying to help the younger generation. My nieces and nephews mostly, or anybody that is willing to listen without rolling their eyes. What brother’s me the most, so I can end this. I saw a few months ago, young lady gets on social media and tell the young gentlemen. I look to good for the cheesecake factory! What’s wrong with going to Baskin and Robins for some Chocolate almond Ice cream. Of course, it’s my favorite, you can have anything you want. My dad said to me May 18 1988, Son don’t hang your hat high enough to where you can’t reach it. Meaning, if you start off at high end place you have set the standard. Bottom line, choose someone that chooses you, Its make life a lot more enjoyable with each other. Gentlemen, don’t lead with your wallet. I’ve done that in the past, it doesn’t end well. Last thing, I don’t not recommend going to back to the ex. They are a Ex for a reason. They hardest time for me during my journey of battling my ex’s in my mind was at night when my head hit that pillow. That’s when those Mind monsters will get you. Everyone stay the course, be safe, be blessed! My best advice to give to anyone, you will know when you had enough!

If my ex goes out and dated someone else then comes back to me, I won't take her back.

If they are a narcissist or narcissistic, definitely don’t reach out to them. Ever.

It always surprises me how negative people on this platform are. If you still love the person who broke up with you and are willing to forgive them, than go ahead and be with them. This is especially true if you've both done the work to improve yourselves. The grass is not always greener on the other side.

He gets☝🏿ONE chance with me. One. I ain't nobody's option.

So much better when you don't want them back.

This man is spot on. It took my ex-wife 16 years to reach out with regret... by then, I was 13 years married to a good woman, with which I have 2 children. Rebuild your life. If (when) she tries to come back... remember, she abandoned you once, she'll do it again.

If a person is dating and being with someone in only a week or so after a break up they been talking to that new person while in a relationship with you

It’s been 18 months since my wife left. She showed up around July last year and said she missed me and still loved me. We started dating again and out the blue she said she can’t do it. We were getting on so well as well. I knew there was someone else, the person she left me for. Yet, I wanted to salvage my marriage. I went full no contact in November and she went straight back to him. Ultimately, it’s been this man the whole time. I’ve no idea what she’s doing in life now. Fact is people, they don’t always come back. However, IF they do, it’s because whoever they left you for wasn’t as good as they thought. If they’ve been with someone else after your break up, you can NEVER take them back. It’s so hard to accept that but taking them back shows weakness. They left for “better”….let them have it. Stay strong to you. You’re worth so much more.

Once someone leaves your life don’t hold on to them. That’s the only way they will be able to come back. Let that ex energy go. Take on a new you. New love. New life. They left for a reason. And why would I take someone back that had to leave my life for me to elevate and find myself. That’s means they were holding me back.

If they don't care now, they will not care about u later Only when they cant get who they really want, then they know they can come back.

Even if we did get back together I will never trust him the same again.

Unfortunately, we cant unmeet people.🤷🏽‍♀️

Yup! She went from the most caring person I've ever met to a robotic soldier of doom.

It hurts the most when they get someone new fast. I know it's bound to happen but at least be respectful lol I'm talking replaced in 8 days.

No contact will not make her want you again. It's just the only option you have. She might feel lonely at some point at contact you again for validation when her new guy is treating her poorly but it's not even worth it talking to her again. Just move on. When a woman loses genuine desire for you it's because you were too available and lost your leverage at some point. Getting a woman to have genuine attraction for you again is very difficult and unlikely.

My ex did exactly what you said. Took him less than 3 weeks to come back begging for my forgiveness. Week later I learned of a woman he had been screwing the whole 4 we were together. I learned where she lives. I went there and sure enough he was there. You can imagine his surprise when he saw me pull up in her driveway. She had no idea of me like I didn't her. I was dumb enough to even considered working it out.... yes my family was there for me but they did not want me with him cause of the lies. I'm so glad I learned the true person he is..

Lol pretty sure I’m not in no contact anymore. I’m in “I don’t even exist to them” mode at this point

What I’m wondering is why the people who are saying don’t go back it’s not worth it, are on this channel watching this video exactly about how to get your ex back in one way or another? Leave.

We have been married almost 21 years and been together 22 years and he tells me he can’t do this anymore out of the blue. Then after 4 kids and 22 years together he leaves me for his ex wife of 1 and half years. He moves out and leaves the state without even telling his kids just abandons while I’m in the hospital. I can’t believe he’s so selfish to break his kids hearts without even having a conversation. He could have talked about whatever was bothering him before he left. At this point I put him on child support and he’s mad about that. Why he got what he wanted he still has kids that need support pay your support and do you Noal Madden. I hope you are happy!!!

I’ve been dumped like a piece of trash after almost 3 years of planning my life with my ex. Every day I go through turmoil of emotions. One moment I’m ok and the next I’m crying in the corner. I want to thank you for your videos and wisdom. I cannot tell you how many times I watched your video and was validated and chose not to reach out to my ex to preserve the little dignity and self respect I have left. Please Keep on guiding us. I’ll keep on watching. Thank you 🙏🙏🙏

My ex came back after 4 years. We have known each other 18 years. We started dating and he just ghosted me out of nowhwre. Hadnt heard from him in four years and honestly had healed and moved on from the heart break. To be honest he hadnt even crossed my mind in a couple years...pops up apologizing...we started to date again and while i had hoped he had changed....he didnt. Just realized he wasnt gonna find anything better....even admitted that... That was the moment i decided...nah... I dont want my husband saying to me "well...i went and searched far and wide for something better and decided you were the best i was gonna fine".... I wany my husband saying "I knew it was you from the start and i never want to lose you" period.

My ex-husband has been asking for us to be reunited for the past 10yrs. We were married for 8yrs and have been divorced for 22yrs. During our marriage, he was mentally, emotionally, and verbally abusive, a notorious cheater, and had a mistress whom he had 2 children with during our marriage. I forgave him 22yrs ago so that I could live my life in peace with no hatred or grudge towards him, and all is forgiven. I look forward to God blessing me with my Boaz someday.

Hi Coach! I have decided, in my situation, that I no longer desire the relationship. It’s over and I have moved on. Life is too short. Better horizons on the way. Enjoy your stories. Loving the new look.🌟

Once my ex leaves me and gets with another man. Congratulations cause now you got that second place prize. Better raise that trophy pretty high cause you ain’t coming back to me. I’m not on the back burner for nobody. I played that game once , and I learned my lessons of why you don’t do that to yourself. It’s called self respect.

Everything he’s saying in all his videos is 100% on point. I’ve watched all of coach’s videos. Today makes 6 months since I got T-boned. I did everything he advised. No contact works I promise you it does. Even though I was dying on the inside I never showed her that I was suffering. She calls me today and tells me she misses me and needs to see me. I played the hard to get role and told her I have plans. She then said she would come by tomorrow. I told her I will see if I’m not busy. We have been together for more than 20yrs. I’m super excited about this chance. I understand the hopelessness and gut wrenching emotions that we go through. I promise you watch coach’s videos. It helps trust me. Coach thank you sir

I'm fairly sure my ex has moved on, she left me for someone else. It's been three months now and there has been zero reach out. I'm learning to see how I will be okay. Though there is always so much uncertainty felt every single day, I know I deserved better than how she left me and that I deserve better today than to think about someone so dearly that likely does not reciprocate that on her end. I don't know if I will ever be as hurt as I was and still am to some degree from this breakup, but I won't let her get the best of me. It might not be obvious to see today, or tomorrow, or even a year from now, but I will be the kind of person she will in fact miss and regret losing. To all the people who has had their heart broken from someone you loved dearly and thought would be your future, you are never alone and I wish you all the love that you deserve to have. Take the time that you need to heal from this and cherish your life for how valuable it truly is ❤

Every woman I’ve ever dated has always came back later on. It’s always heartfelt conversations, and getting true closure. We all remain friends from a distance.

Ever since i chose therapy and pouring into me, life became so much better. Next month makes it 1 year and since I finally chose me and just put it to the universe.....it's legit, "it is what is it." I know all my exs are suffering and paying for their consequences. I don't wish ill on them because in the end. I'm not going to block my blessings.

Coach Blac Big Pimpin. Dropping truth bombs 💣

Your perspectives are an eye opener for me! I will definitely apply your perspectives on NC & detach by not being so emotional in proving my love for my long time friend who is not ready & very independent

Your calming voice during a time of trauma and pain is soothing to my soul.

Love the new look….very sharp coach!

This was a great video ,calm,cool and smooth !

Thanks I needed exactly this dialogue today. I've been struggling with this issue for a week now, and I now feel better about everything that's happening.

@Coach Blac- 4 months NC but since day of breakup been working on me. Just gotta keep moving forward right. Thanks for this💪

Hey man thank you for your inspiring videos. I really have been working on my self after my devastating break up!!! And I have decided not to pursue the relationship, but your videos helped me learn deep down what I truly need to do for myself. And this inspired me to focus on my purpose driven life!!!! Thank you man you saved my life bro!!!! FACTZZZZ!!!!

That story you shared, though! You're brilliant and different, Blac!

Personally I quit caring long ago. I don't have friends family or acquaintances. I realized love is weakness. I don't trust no one but myself

Yes!!!! The dealing with a completely different person. It’s so hard for me to wrap my head around sometimes.

That was great wisdom regarding the lady who was blessed with a huge tip. She wasn't prepared to handle what she asked for. My motto is, if you ask for it, pray for it, or manifest it, be prepared to receive it. That's why it's imperative to work on inner-self.❤❤

I just broke up with my ex. I loved him more than anyone, but he was moody in a bad way and brought major chaos. It was hard to put my foot down with him. I took it back, but he didn’t bite. May just be a good thing. But it wasn’t the best relationship. We both need healing.

Great video. It's imperative that we work on our inner selves. It's the best gift we can give ourselves. ❤❤

Your videos are so helpful. Your videos are getting me through this tough time. Thank you so much.

Broke no contact multiple times.. first time we actually hooked up.. ended poorly. Now 3 months post break up. Back in NC for two weeks. Anxiety is wearing off. Been leveling up in life but still left with sadness. Realizing my worth but wondering if she’ll find greener grass. End of the day we have to remember we’re him!

My wife divorced me when she gave birth to our child. 2 years tried stayinf corporative to grow the child but she wanted me gone. 3 years more depressed and figuring life and covid came and lock downs. I worked out at home, covid opnwd up i paid a gym. Today im 10 years younger, competing for Amateur bodybuilding competitions. She now calling me back telling me i shluld come visit our child be there. Shes unhealthy too, shes calling me twice a day. Asked me hows my love life. She tore my heart, i was abandoned yet i moved on. I felt peace, pity for her at same time respect and kindness for woman i shared body with. They come back when you move on. She likes this version of me. Im done now, she lost a man who was ready to five uo life for her. I wouldve been a greta fathdr a husband but she turned me to a guy near 40 living modern hookup life. . Sad end to both our lives.

This comment meant a lot to me I'm still hurt 4 months clean no contact well once but I hung up the phone and never called again. She really did hurt me good thank you for listening.

This is amazing brother. Your laid back approach made feel comfort and this knowledge is second to none. Thank you and God bless you. I still won't take her back after this one, but i understand better now.

Dang - Wish I would have watched your videos the beginning of this week. I truly settled into the decision to go No Contact yesterday. But it was after weeks of not knowing my worth and behaving desperately. So embarrassing.

Looking sharp sir ❤

Thank you for explaining simply and kindly. It hurts so bad - the kind, wonderful man he was, the one who was my best friend and my true love, became cold, non-caring and disrespectful. Now he's with another woman. I think the man I loved is gone.

I love your videos, Coach Blac, always wise and informative thank you

He had been gone about a month and although it was heart breaking he did me a favour. I was too good for him. He was broke and had only love to offer and he withdrew that aswell. So i am now gona find a real man who will be provider and protector as God intended . Losers will always be losers.

I think blacademic might have one of the best Dating tips. Because he tells you the truth. And its great because TRUTH HELPS YOU HEAL AND GROW. This man needs a TV special. On GOD 🛐

Yes absolutely the change in Him

Looking suave coach👌

My Ex came back after 14years apart though we are both married but I was happy to see him,he told me he was sick and needed to tell me about it,but I was shocked cos the way we parted was painful we didn't talk about it,it just happened that he got someone pregnant so I had to let him go now he is pleading for forgiveness

I needed every single word,thank u🙏🙏🙏

Listening to you makes me feeling so good ❤️

She's not coming back

Let go! You will love again. Work on yourself. Know what you want. Heal.

AMEN 🙏🏾 I take up my ex in a slippers two pants three shirts and two shorts and he didn’t have anything to give me I take care of his child and his sick mother I was so happy to know I could help them, I help him to get a job and as soon as he starts working he dumps me yes he did the same man that cried to me day and night to be there for him and promise that he would never leave or disrespect me, now he’s boasting about how many females he has and how he can change clothes and shoes, I cried day and night am so depressed and don’t know what to do, am so hurt but am here trusting god!

What's up black, I just want you to know bro, you are helping me get through this and it's very much appreciated bro, and to be as real as you are, you are heaven sent for a lot of people. Thanks again brother

This time she’s the one blocked on everything during NC. Tired of seeing her fake on social media and try to piss me off just so she can get a reaction out of me! If she really loved me or cares she will find a way to reach out and apologize and communicate w me like I did for her the first time we broke up! Now I can finally have no setbacks bc I break no contact after a week or see her stories!

I don't think my ex will ever come back. It's been 6 months since the breakup. And 3 months into no contact. She had many problems regarding the relationship. And the last time we met she told me she doesn't love me anymore. She never sees us getting back. So, I told her I cannot be friends with her. That was it. I haven't contacted her since. Haven't heard from her since.

❤❤❤ Thank you so much for your insight and this message ❤ 💜 🙏

Thank you my ex is always sending emails and text messages but not responding. Am slowly detaching from him after a 2 year breakup. No contact really worked for me.

I notice that since i act like i dont care he gets out of his way to see me. Because of our child i cant go zero contact but i do the minimum and only about the child. Two days ago he forgot something for our child and i wrote him that it is fine, he can bring it next time he gets her but nono he was like " i can bring it over...we can meet in one hour" and then i just took what he had forgoten and said thank you, have a good day. His Mother told me that he startet to ask how im doing and if she knows what im doing....so i give it more time

All the things you said are so true, but for the people who go no contact for life and change our number. We’ll never know, and it doesn’t matter. Most times they don’t change!

@coachblac thank you for the knowledge and pep talk. Very uplifting.

Thank you! This info is really helpful 🙏

They say you don't know someone till you live with them True I was staying over the holidays and saw many things that led me to break the engagement I am glad I did better now than 5 yrs in. I thought I loved him was very wrong Thanks

Looking dapper coach. Thank you for dressing up for us. 10s across the board❤️🔥🔥👌🏾❤️

Wow! I need to share this with a friend who is going through this exact thing ❤❤❤

He’s amazing!! 💯

lookin' sharp today coach. 😉

I've been single & and had no contact with my ex for almost 3 years. When we dated the 2nd time, he showed me the writing on the wall in all capital letters. I will tell anyone if you break up 1 time, keep it moving forward. A true relationship you don't break up. You work through things. Things will not ever be the same, plus when it comes to healing from the break up a 2nd time around for me, it felt tripple times worse to start the healing process all over again. I stay in prayer. i'm thankful that i actually saw the truth and some things i admit i overlooked. However, i know the next time, don't overlook anything. Actually, believe what they tell you don't try to change their mind keep it pushing. It will save you your time later on down the road. I can't change my past, but i sure do regret dateing him, that's for sure!!

Very wise words from beginning to end

Fantastic video❤

I w been in no contact for almost a week, it’s been hard for sure. If he doesn’t contact me with a sincere apology and own up to his exact faults and don’t try to put blame on me, we may have a chance to something stronger. If not I’m Prepared to keep moving forward and doing things differently in my next relationship.

Looking sharp coach 👌 🔥

I feel like this video is perfect if your the one who messed up in the relationship and your the reason your ex left. Or maybe they didn’t necessarily leave you but just withdrew. The space gives you a reset. And in the meantime you can rebuild your life.

So motivated by this video coach! 6 months NC and will go more stronger after watching this. Focused on pursuing my dream as an airline pilot.Thanks a lot!

He was telling me I’m a good woman, he told me “I’m loving you” days before he broke up with me. I allowed him to quit his jobs and steal money from me because his gambling problem. After we were “ trying again” he he needed to show consistency… he lied to me again. We both have complex ptsd and we didn’t seek for help to keep our love safe. We weee living together and we had a lot of good times he won’t be able to forget… the cooking, goin out for sushi, walking the dog. May be he finds someone better in bed who knows!! One thing for sure I know it wasn’t easy for him neither. It’s the deepest cut for me and it’s helping to fix everything I needed to fix if he returns we are going to have a totally different dynamic. At least I know I’m changing. I won’t ever stop loving him and he deserves all the love on earth.

Thank you for the advice, you look great Coach!!

may 2024 listening! bless all us here in jesus christ and it is so amen hallelujah glory yes lord thanks lord! 🎉 thanks

You on point with this message! Please get your watch fitted though, respectfully.

Is that a haircut!!!???? Nice you look lovely

She already does blowing my phone up after divorcing me today. I gotta stay strong.

I have so much respect for you. This video has had me deal with my situation so much better, thank you!

Is this the way men think? I’ve been dealing with a man, in and out, off and on, hot and cold. It’s absolutely destroying my self confidence yet I love the person he is when he’s hot. I love our relationship when he’s hot on me. He says he’s scared yet runs away every time I give him a chance. I’m tired of being left feeling like an option. He can go get his can of green spray paint and stay away. Maybe that’s how all these women feel when you break NC. If you break NC, make sure you’re ready to go in hot. Other than that, it feels like games. When a man goes no contact on me, I just assume he’s not interested and won’t reach out to “wonder why”. Even if I’m completely heartbroken. If men need that ego boost for me to call him crying, I don’t want it

I do not return. If it did not work out the first time why would it work out a 2nd, 3rd, and 4th time. Drop it and keep it moving. They call back years later because things did not work out with the last person and they try to come back to what they knew before they left you ONE PROBLEM...you grew stronger through the pain and hurt. I will not go back - the rose-colored glasses are off.

Thank you. I've detached and went no contact for 4 months now but I need to do some more work on myself. I feel like I'm stuck and isolating.

You’re good man! Keep it up

GOD IS SEPARATING THE WHEAT FROM THE TEAR DONT GO BACK UNLESS GOD TOLD YOU

I have been in no contact for a month. I have worked on myself and also enjoying my life as much as I can, I have never talked to my ex since the night she broke up with me and I’m doing great. The weird thing is that now 2 other exes from the past have reached out to me and are chasing me 😂

Good information.

I just listen this to see how men just making fools of themselves I did once but my advice is focus on u and u along everything will fall into place

I blocked my ex so you can’t contact me. I think this applies to NORMAL break ups. I’m not taking anyone back that LIED about having a WIFE and still being in relationship with their children’s mother. TOXIC!!

Maybe one day we can talk again I know she knows I care about her & was hoping something more came about it. Idk… maybe one day