Creating Boundaries in Relationships

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Күн бұрын

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Checkout my latest podcast episode on Apple Podcasts: itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/t... Do you ever wonder how to protect yourself from being taken advantage of when it comes to your time, energy, or resources? Are you interested in setting up more boundaries in your relationships, but not sure where to begin?
Here are 4 big ideas to support you.
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Пікірлер: 108

@kimphan5418 4 жыл бұрын

When you're trying to set your boundaries but a person tries to make you feel bad for doing it or make you feel like there is something wrong with you, that is gaslighting. Don't ever fall for that tactic, stick to your standards and boundaries, protect them.

@reinaaqua685 7 жыл бұрын

"Protecting the relationship more than your ego" this can't be stressed enouughhhhhhhh ugh

@ltzmin 2 жыл бұрын

I knew I wasn't crazy, I was being demanded so much and given so little, boundaries that weren't clear even when I ask my partner to write them down for me as to not make the same mistakes again, and no concern for me or what I wanted. Pure chaos. I had to leave.

@SparksofInspiration 7 жыл бұрын

Boundaries are invisible unless you tell people where your boundaries are! Not telling people what your boudnaries are is like helping someone navigate an invisible maze, but you only get mad at them for making mistakes and you don't guide them. I heard a quote once that I love that this video seems to expand on: "it's your job to teach people how to treat you."

@theduyenshow4314 2 жыл бұрын

love it

@Morphick 7 жыл бұрын

Love the end about expanding boundaries rather than creating more -- infinite peace, joy, and love to you my friend and whoever is reading this comment :)

@bernadinebesterwitch5010 6 жыл бұрын

Wesley Lavinder

@chrisbrightheart 3 жыл бұрын

I totally agree

@user-sk9ou5uy5k 6 жыл бұрын

Lol, I love how he's like no one is thinking about your boundaries, he's so blunt but its honestly true

@thektorMK1 6 жыл бұрын

Learning about boundaries is the best thing I’ve done recently.

@jamilgotcher5456 5 жыл бұрын

It's not true that be more loving knocks down boundaries, with some people they will view your loving behavior as a push over or a doormat they can manipulate and control and abuse you.

@andygb5999 5 жыл бұрын

it applys to healthy or average healthy mind people. those u mention are people with issues

@Petapan33 4 жыл бұрын

That is the exact relationship he expressed must be left. No ifs or buts.

@laureenprice8123 3 жыл бұрын

Agree with you Jamil. If you don't set boundaries at all a healthy person will view you as a doormat and lose interest in you.

@ahmedreguieg5778 Жыл бұрын

Those peoples have issues that dont respect feelings of others..but you must facing them and tell them what are tout boundariesto keep with them healthy great relatioships, when they know it , so if they insist, please din't let them

@carmentherese5706 7 жыл бұрын

Para-phrase ; 'No one is thinking about your boundaries. Don't get mad, once they bounce into your boundaries, just get explicit' It will not be easy - but I think I can do this with some practice. Thank you Brendon. You seriously give the best practical & directly applicable advice which is useful for people from all walks of life As someone with the ultra -sensitive traits (of an intuitive empath), I have struggled with boundaries my whole life. Time to love ME a bit more ❤️ Namaste 🙏🏻🕊🌻

@subhambhattacharjee4826 7 жыл бұрын

Carmen Therese Namaste 🙏

@bernadinebesterwitch5010 6 жыл бұрын

Carmen Therese

@morningglory3644 7 жыл бұрын

Great discussion about boundaries! Sometimes we need to put up boundaries because we can't allow ourselves to be abused by anyone, but then again sometimes we put those walls up to the point we don't let anyone in, even the good people. We are actually shielding our own ego & protecting ourselves from getting hurt. Yes, we can't expect people to understand our boundaries, and if you have always had those walls up for a long time, then it can be hard to let go. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable is a strength...because you are allowing yourself to be open.

@martamanno22 4 жыл бұрын

your boundaries are your space for you to grow cultivate them, nurture them take care of them so that you grow stronger discipline yourself for a tough mind to protect your dreams/goals no need for isolation just engage with more & more people to get the right balance/calibre your boundaries 🍓 merci Brendon 🐞

@laurenmarotta9381 7 жыл бұрын

You always hit the points in my life when I need the advice the most. You've saved my life so many times with the help. Thank you!

@bernadinebesterwitch5010 6 жыл бұрын

Lauren Marotta

@indranikeiki1392 2 жыл бұрын

~ Different people, different boundaries. 1. Anger is never a useless emotion, its a natural and necessary response from your body, sometimes to let you know whats not good for you, its biologically wired for defense, you must take it like a friend and listen to it deeply to understand your own need, instead of thinking that feeling anger is bad or makes you a bad person or try to repress it. So, we can work in developing a healthy reponse towards the other person instead of reacting, thats a different thing. 2. WE DONT KNOW HOW TO RESPECT OTHERS IF WE DONT RESPECT OURSELVES, if we look like being selfish is because we havent hold space for ourselves internally and therefore cant do it for the other. Often times the reason is that we dont have the capacity to offer much to the other person. Funny thing is, we need to be 'selfish' on a good sense in order to become Selfless. Being so-called selfish or unaware of the other is just a sign/response of an unhealed or disconnected state from ourselves, its not like 'oh you are bad', its just lack of self care manifesting outwardly, we are all designed to love and serve but its switched off when we are not truly loving ourselves. 3. We try to protect ourselves because there might be trauma or unhealed stuff, its not so simple as 'oh why you are trying to protect youself so much' - we shouldn't feel bad with ourselves, we need to hold space for ourselves to heal and the more we heal the more we can connect with the other. Boundaries should not end up dissolving, just come to a point where they are based on self love (and therefore be able to receive and give love) and not fear or traumatic responses anymore (which is also valid and natural specially in the course of your healing journey), but from a clear and healed space , but if you are still healing , thats ok, and you are not meant to push yourself to open up or 'love more' or be like this or like that, just be , be there for you first, just connect with yourself first and take any time you need, your relationship will be grateful for that. 🍬

@DallasJamesPritt 6 жыл бұрын

I do worry about codependency and the dangers of that if we keep allowing the boundaries to get more limitless as you go. You can still maintain healthy boundaries for yourself within a relationship.

@raymondurrutia6680 2 жыл бұрын

“Say it early, don’t wait to say it.” Period

@sheila-verse 3 жыл бұрын

The problem is some people would say it’s manipulative or toxic. I communicated my boundaries to the guy I was dating and he just flipped out on me.

@iambornforgreatness2970 7 жыл бұрын

Brendon NAILED that one! If I could sum this video up in one keyword phrase, it would be 'Stay Accountable'? It's our duty to continue to grow everyday in every moment that we have to stretch ourselves.

@Smiley-lf5tk 7 жыл бұрын

Haha, I just got myself into a relationship a few minutes ago! 😂 This video is perfect.

@robertimmanuel577 2 жыл бұрын

Congrats. I wonder how that relationship's going 5 years later

@GD-cr5um 2 жыл бұрын

I know many narcisstic people in my life who had no respect for my boundaries but they know how to build boundaries for themselves

@ItsMaeEss 6 жыл бұрын

Brendon, you are truly Godsent. You've covered very clearly both ends of the spectrum. From whether we should or shouldn't set/discuss boundaries to being vulnerable... and the approach to take depending on the kind of relationship you have with a certain person. This has helped me immensely. Thank you.

@BrendonBurchard 6 жыл бұрын

My pleasure thank you for watching!

@sarai9102 6 жыл бұрын

This is perfect!!!! This paradigm actually made me detox/ cry out some fear with my twin flame. Thank you!

@iamgoddessoflove 2 жыл бұрын

Setting boundaries is so important and healthy, as it sets the tone of our friendships and relationships. 💙KZfaqr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships

@ryanpark1527 7 жыл бұрын

Thank you Brendon, I appreciate all of your videos, its such an inspiring and motivates me to push myself to be more positive about life.

@gabeyboi 7 жыл бұрын

This was an excellent video. It was a topic I did not even realize I needed to be begin to explore and understand. Thank you Brendon.

@rollmopsmitkartoffel6970 5 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for your advice. That's exactly what i needed someone to tell me. It really helps me to reflect on a lot of things. Thank you for your great help :)

@jitendrabidika247 6 жыл бұрын

Thanks for the suggestion and very exciting video

@Max13942 7 жыл бұрын

Great Video needed this i need to expand more and have less boundaries in my relationship

@alexiaradic8076 7 жыл бұрын

Awesome video , I love all your videos , keep up the great work

@pei3010 7 жыл бұрын

Good.you uploaded the video right on time before i lash out and scold my roommate and my worker, thank you.

@joselinmacedo7644 7 жыл бұрын

Your videos help me out so much ! Thank you :).

@olgakucharska2800 6 жыл бұрын

Thank you Brendon. Dziękuję ;)

@theonewhogiveslikes9390 5 жыл бұрын

Do you want liars, emotional manipulators,cheaters,angry people, neurotics ,bullies or any other kinds of energetic vampires in your life ? Me neither...just set boundaries.

@DanTruong10-13-95 4 жыл бұрын

Communication is the key

@esischuber4335 5 жыл бұрын

Good Video thank you so much but expanding boundaries is not good if you deal with toxic ppl like narcissist, psychopaths and sociopaths and other Cluster B's

@joseotavioandrucioli 7 жыл бұрын

Hey Brendon you're awesome! Pretty good job!

@janbrett674 5 жыл бұрын

Such a great video thank you for sharing

@KrystenJanzen 7 жыл бұрын

Great topic Brendon!!!!

@abbaskalantari 7 жыл бұрын

Brilliant as always✌✌✌👌👌

@BrookeSearleArt 7 жыл бұрын

I love Brendon. I do encourage him and other people to look up the term codependent though. A co-dependent needs to learn boundaries and healthy boundaries because being a people-pleaser in a society where people pleasing is promoted can cause toxic and unhealthy actions and urges. Unfortunately, I feel this video is one of those people pleasing promoters that could cause unhealthy Behavior. Much love Brendon.

@samyraalexander1710 6 жыл бұрын

Controllers and manipulators are thinking about other's boundaries

@maryam8790 2 жыл бұрын

that was brilliant thank you so much

@d2svpcfp 4 жыл бұрын

Boundaries should be made clear....and mutual respect is not that difficult. Don’t be fooled...trust is both granted AND earned. Free love...rainbows and unicorns friends. Peace...

@pritamhillol5 7 жыл бұрын

Thank You.......

@martamanno22 4 жыл бұрын

let's be explicit or at least 👏 let's learn to be explicit 🍉 from today !!! 🎋 no compromise, no sacrifice rather expand your boundaries (but then there are break deals)

@sagebova 2 жыл бұрын

You are the man! I want to be like you

@gulziraamirovna9138 7 жыл бұрын

Thanks

@calebvr9156 6 жыл бұрын

Exit. Period. .. the man with brendons book in his house is probably my guy.. hes so right about the process. The abuse ive endured is off the charts.

@truckergal 5 жыл бұрын

My co workers curse, and have little integrity. I put up walls and masks to keep them at a distance. There is tension. The problem with letting them in is I get involved in terrible situations that I don't want to be in. Am I doing the right thing? I'd love for there to be no tension but at the same time, steer clear of their troubled waters. Any advice is appreciated.

@alaiaadam5767 2 жыл бұрын

🎉☄️💥 *00:40** CS Exactly Say it the First time*

@giovannibarajas6901 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you!!

@quest9133 Жыл бұрын

I do believe in the advice here but it works when both parties are at a high level of maturity, transparency, empathy and respect. Then you can allow for boundaries to be lowered or expanded so you aren’t abused or taken advantage of. For instance I have high empathy and my partner has low empathy. I can easily sense her boundaries and adopt them. I actively listen and understand. But when it comes to my boundaries, I have to be really firm in mine. If I allow for them to bent, then they will broken to the benefit of my partner. Until I sense a level of empathy and understanding towards my boundaries, I have to keep them up so there is mutual accountability.

@samaasafaa3932 7 жыл бұрын

thank you so much

@nada7sn7 Жыл бұрын

Amazing!

@jayhampton25 4 жыл бұрын

Love This

@romellyarde907 5 жыл бұрын

What about boundaries when you aren't sure if you are falling into a narcissistic traps. How do you give that person a chance and still not enough that in the case they are it isn't going to hurt you mentally.

@josweety7568 6 жыл бұрын

Wow..well said

@2bfamos 4 жыл бұрын

How do you know if the issue is one of boundaries or emotional abuse?

@franconasello6160 2 жыл бұрын

the wall concept pink floooyd

@tokabadreldenmosaeed2768 7 жыл бұрын

Brendon, and these steps can be applied with New people, what about people actually treat with them... they will strange me when I refuse things I had accepted before?

@ffjd1 4 жыл бұрын

Brendan, thks for sharing, but do you have anything on this topic for couples seperated ,with kids etc...thks, JD

@AndrewAustin 7 жыл бұрын

Don't touch the gaming Pc;). Nice video!

@enigmatowles 7 жыл бұрын

Powerful video!!!! #WednesdayWisdom

@SparksofInspiration 7 жыл бұрын

Anyone have any insight on how to figure out your own boundaries, and help others open up to share what their boundaries are with you?

@mohammadlatif5300 7 жыл бұрын

Hi mr brendon it is me your daily audience ,,,,

@gingerreeds216 4 жыл бұрын

This is straight #fax!!!!!!

@bluesky097 4 жыл бұрын

I don't agree with this POV of getting rid of boundaries. There's a big difference btwn walls and boundaries. Boundaries don't mean I'm not open towards the person. They mean I'm taking care of myself and my needs and people around me need to respect that.

@FodoulyAjji 4 жыл бұрын

Bendon could you answer my question: what do you do if you want to put boundaries between you and someone else but your your mom keep telling you that this person helped your brother alot so you gotta wash his pants if he tod you to do so for example. Knowing I don't wash someone else's clothes if there's no washinf machine. Here is the full context I gave you. Please answer my question. Thanks in advance.

@isabellabarillass 6 жыл бұрын

Hey, so my bf tries touching me every now and then, he just said he wanted to talk about hos wrong that is, and thar he is sorry, but I don't like talking, nor saying how I feel, should I tell him we should stop kissing and tell him where he can and can'T touch? Or just tell him everything s fine just so he doesn't think i'm over reacting, nor being dramatic?

@helpmetosleep 6 жыл бұрын

Bella B, NEVER say "everything is fine" if it is not fine. A guy has to know your boundaries to respect them. And if he knows them and is not respecting them now, it's going to get worse (how can you trust a guy who ignores your limits? You wouldn't expect someone to trust you if you showed them no respect, right?).

@mattiethesurfer 6 жыл бұрын

You don’t like talking nor saying how you feel?

@michellement2158 2 жыл бұрын

i need to know how to enforce them in my relationship and what are normal healthy non abusive consequences i can use when my boyfriend crosses me. I’ve been working on our relationship for a while now. Communicating heavy and trying to understand and respect his wishes as well. I feel he disrespected me last night on the phone . He was being condescending towards my idea of a healthy habit we can try and he started tlkn in a serious tone /angry tone and shuts me down even tho i tried to express to him i feel uncomfortable abt a situation from the past and now he mentioned he’ll be going to tht place tht has a no good story connected to it so i expressed how i’m uncomfortable with tht and how I basically needed reassurance . He shut me down said he hates when i bring up the past and i always do it he said he didn’t t wana tlk abt it cuz he forgot abt it. he even put it on God tht he doesnt remember bc it’s irrelevant. he told me to basically get off the phone if i’m gona keep tlkn abt it . I felt uncared for unheard . I felt manipulated when i addressed the situation calmly and curiously not agressive or sarcastic like i was in the past . He still blew up on me and i’m like if the situation is SOOO irrelevant and he doesn’t even remember why does it make him SOOOO mad that I bring something up thts related to wht we were tlkn abt? It’s not fair i’m always the bad guy. He was being so nasty towards me i feel myself getting angry and i said 1-2 curse words then he did the condescending thing and i hung up in his face. he didn’t care cuz he didn’t call bck and I told him not to call me in the morning he called me petty before i hung up on him. After that , I blocked his #s … i saw he tried to call me once but hasn’t reached out on any other media tht he’s not blocked on. Is what I did abusive or is this an appropriate consequence? having him blocked helps me ignore him and not reach out….

@LeoEckl-DerAbiturCoach 7 жыл бұрын

My biggest issue here would be my parents who love to interrupt me in the morning to say goodbye before they go to work, while I'm trying hard to work as focus as I can on building my dream life. This is a hard decision for me, whether or not I should ask them to stop doing it, since it somehow negatively affects my productivity. Any thoughts on that?

@lukehartmann4777 5 жыл бұрын

You're being incredibly selfish if them saying goodbye to you out of love is annoying you too such an extent

@Sgt.Watt911 2 жыл бұрын

Get your own place, problem gone.

@chaltuboke558 5 жыл бұрын

I writing hem.

@patrickj.trevenen1633 5 жыл бұрын

#Excellent

@beth1776 Жыл бұрын

Interesting that Im trying to find info for a man around boundaries in a relationship and immediately we are slating men about being dumb around emotions. I am sure it got better but I had to switch off.

@saro0ora687 4 жыл бұрын

You remind me of Michael Sheen from twilight 😂🙈

@DarleneDeCicco 7 жыл бұрын

believe it or not, that's my mother. She's eighty-eight years old temporarily bed bound and calls me every 10 minutes I'm losing my mind!

@MisterPol 7 жыл бұрын

She probably won't be here anymore It's just a matter of time and she wants to spend it with you before it ends You'll regret not answering her, just saying

@subhambhattacharjee4826 7 жыл бұрын

Darlene DeVegan don't set boundary. she needs you. she brought you to this beautiful world and she might no longer live though i wish her long and happy life. just don't get frustrated remember your childhood she also tolerated you as a child. SO IT'S PAY BACK TIME KID

@jamilgotcher5456 5 жыл бұрын

You'll be old and lonely some day and you'll remember the way you treated her. I hope you will feel exactly like she does so one day you finally understand what it's like to 88 years old and abandoned.

@jamilgotcher5456 5 жыл бұрын

This man isn't talking about creating boundaries with an 88 year old mother. My god, she won't be here very much longer. Why don't you focus on that. How many people will even call you when she's gone?

@millsapartments6275 5 жыл бұрын

I believe you have to set some its vitally important you stay mentally and physically healthy to continue to care for her. Being bed bound she has never been this not in control of her life. Find a group of other people who provide support. Also does your state offer any programs that allow you to recieve aid in finding an attendant? This is my job i immediately set boundries and ask or put together an actual list of duties with my clients and they do with me.

@Lishamisha22 6 жыл бұрын

How Can this be brought up naturally in a conversation? Is it when you first meet a person? I feel almost like I’m doing this backwards as things happen and I’m more reactive to it than “hi, nice to meet you I don’t like xyz and don’t like talking about abc” . I don’t get angry when I speak up when something happens. I do know that I am just tired of interacting with grown people that act like kids and don’t care.