why'd you watch a 30min video omg

The part of the MV where she shows herself while performing back then is heart-warming. It is blurred and all with the hands but if you know her live performance back then you can recognize it

Calli's lyrics, especially in this song, warrant a true analysis and deep dive. Thank you for taking the time to do it.

Callie are you ok, are you ok, Callie are you ok, are you ok Callie! -Micheal Jackson

"Almost a year ago now, this song inspired a sad person from America to travel all by herself to the other side of the world to meet the person who wrote it." A quote from the past life, about FAKE TYPE and their song Tsuki.

I feel like the lyric of "thanks for saving my life" isn't referring to one person or event - it's just a broad statement directed towards everyone who helped her before she joined hololive. It's Calli reminiscing about all the people who helped her and realizing what their collective kindness in that period of her life amounted to - someone may not have _literally_ saved her life, but now that she looks back on it, she realizes that's how important their support was to her, even if she or the people supporting her didn't realize it at the time. She's intentionally being a little hyperbolic in order to emphasize how thankful she is. Also, you mention that the "light maze" talked about at the end in transparent subtitles refers to Japan and Calli first going there to follow her dreams before joining hololive, but I don't think that's the case. I'm pretty sure the light maze is also the "labyrinth of lights" mentioned earlier in the song. Whoever Calli talks about holding hands with at the end is probably the same person Calli can't get back to inside the light labyrinth, which is why I think that the labyrinth refers to where Calli is now, as a part of hololive. I'm sure you've noticed this by now, but the part about Calli waking up is sung earlier as some of the last lyrics represented by transparent subtitles - except the lyric "waking up now, to my real life" is instead "waking up now, to the 'real life'." I love analysis videos like this; all of yours have been really good! The theory about the earphone cord representing the red string of fate is great; definitely feel like that one could be true.

How is it possible for such a gremlin to be so cute? Also, 10/10 analysis

Just before this song dropped, Calli also left a message in the pre-chat saying that it's sad when you have to say goodbye to a friend, but that it's okay because that's a part of life. A lot of people attribute this to the fact that Coco's own Free Chat went down at the same time as this one went up.. but as you point out, this is more about Calli's own past, her melancholy over leaving her friends behind, and so forth - it just happens to be that the themes are the same, even if the source is different: saying goodbye and parting ways with old friends and the past, even if it's bittersweet, and remembering the good times.

Dang you paused on the *first word* now thats some deep analysis

Another little nudget: there's a constant reference to a "City that never dies", and you can say that "sleep" is a little "die". So... in a sense is a reference to a precise city (theory: the city where she grow up as an artist before travelling to japan?).

If Calli approaches Di to be her therapist perhaps that means we win.

Great analysis Di! As Calli's music usually goes, you need to listen to it multiple times and read the lyrics with care to get the most out of it

Sometimes, I really wish we get to hear outrigh about Calli's relation to her old persona. From all that I've seen, it's still alive and the people from back then do still support her, but the lyrics do sure make one wonder.

Thank you so much, Calli is not just vtuber but my favorite artist and watching this deeply analysis help me a lot!! Truly the end of her old life but starting a new one when everyone can support her and give the love that she deserves. Keep it up the amazing work!

The first thing I thought when I watched the mv was literally "I wonder what Di has to say about this"

Honestly, thank you for this analysis. I usually try to understand the deeper meaning of lyrics of songs I enjoy, while getting my own meaning from things as well-- And it was your analysis "back in ze day" on OWTH months back that I first heard of you (and I'm sure it was probably the same for many others too.) because I enjoy Calli's songs a lot and others' thoughts on them. But with sad or melancholic things that ring out to me, I dunno I just get so lost in the emotion itself that I can't always fully process on my own even after multiple listens and it especially hit because of it being Calli singing it, as well as the messages it conveyed being so relatable-- So seeing analysis and breakdowns like this definitely helps clear things up for me!

That second verse is my favorite part. Here's my own interpretation. Sorry it's a bit too long I just love it so much and it invokes so much thought for me. Anyone who reads this in its entirety, God bless your soul. Haha. -"Silent singer, overworked and underpaid." I think the silent singer also refers to having an underground persona where all her musical creativity lies. And the music scene she was involved in wasn't exactly mainstream. Basically, an artist/singer/rapper that flies under everyone's radar. -"Thinks an office is a coffin, until off is where you're laid." Should be obvious enough what she thinks of the mundane day jobs. -"Yet a thought persists, an optimist who ought to be afraid Saw the 'nothing wrong' in writing songs behind the lonely shade." Feels like what she was pulling from. She had the mindset that she can keep doing what she loves behind the curtains. But having your day job and your night life be such a big wedge in your life. You do what you love at night yes, but you have to wake up everyday to do work unrelated to your night life. This cycle of switching lives can feel pretty emotionally draining. You have friends/acquaintances on each life but the obvious divide can leave you feeling pretty lonely. -"Is the world a sadder place without the words that you conveyed?" Is the inner conflict that spawned from the two different lives. Like, do you think you can keep up this other life? Do you think it actually matters or is it just a past-time that was fun while it lasted? Even if you didn't create stuff and put it out there, wouldn't everything still just be practically the same? Especially since your other life has nothing to do with it and wouldn't really be affected. No one really knows the connection between these two lives except you. -"When the ladder fell and shattered every bar that we had played?" I thought this referred to how in the circle of artist friends she had, they were all in the same grind. But the birth of another life meant that she left that grind unto another. Which turned out to have low-key destroyed your previous grind with the others. Emphasis on how she suddenly said "we" after addresses herself as "you." -"Does it matter in the end? The sound diminished and decayed? And your friends grew tired of fantasy. You're wishing they had stayed." A continuation, but this time, as the group. But I think it can attributed to their music not being mainstream and all of them are basically doing the same exhausting divided lifestyle. However, one of them makes it. She gets her big break. And the reality sinks in for everyone else. They can all be in the same grind, but not everyone makes it. And they started fading out of this second life they all lived. -"You don't get to say 'I miss you'. You watched your heroes fade Into the rear view-mirror of the villain that you portrayed." Is her beating herself up for what happened. Somewhere along the lines of: She doesn't think she's allowed to say she misses the old times when she's the only one who made it. You can't say "just like old times" when you're on a sports car racing to success and they were left behind at the crossroads contemplating whether they should continue walking forward or no. And whether she like it or not, it causes bitterness. That's why she only "portrayed" a villain, not be an actual villain. She's such a kind person at heart but she feels like the others might see this as a sort of... betrayal, I guess? Betrayal is a strong word. But it makes her feel bad. She succeeded but it doesn't feel right. Almost like her old friends became stepping stones to her climb. And the following lines you can get the gist of from that context. Beating herself up further. "Stop the pity party. Listen, you don't get to be dismayed. You don't get to be emotional. Feel blessed that you got it made. These the best of years of life because you chose to make a trade. Recollect the days you hoped and prayed for this. What is there to miss?" Also, something I felt necessary to mention is that it's like her singing lines are like things she say herself in contrast to her rapping lines which are like the other part of her that's criticizing her for what she's done. And the part that hurts me the most is knowing that she has these two conflicting voices in her head. A constant wrestle. Thanks for the analysis. I actually almost forgot about your channel. And it took the release of this song for me to remember. My bad.

this song is deeper than the deepest ocean and the underworld itself

"But it won't stop the rain from pouring" Makes me think of someone crying, mostly because of the FMA scene.

21:55 Thank you for this perspective. This has always been the one part of the song that didn't click for me, given the assumed context of the rest of the song being Calli's sadness looking back on the friends/heroes she left behind when she succeeded. Thinking about those background lines as you point out as "these are the souls she's leaving behind" whether those be her own former thoughts, the thoughts of those friends she left behind, or a combination of the two, that segment now makes a lot more sense to me now. The prevalent lines in this segment are: "in this self hate/'we've got no chance'" - the souls acknowledging that the pursuit of their wild dream is pointless "we'll run so fast/'til the school chimes/'til the train runs" - but they'll chase it anyway, at least until they're forced back into reality (school/work/etc) "we know it's time/we're the sane ones/waking up now/to the real life" - as many other analyses have already pointed out, most of her friends in the underground jrap scene had to fall back to "real jobs" after the pandemic forcibly closed their artistic outlet. This could very well have also included Calli if she hadn't gotten lucky with Hololive. "let me daydream/'til the next night" - They still very much envy the dream that they feel they can no longer chase. "at least let me daydream about it". Finally, this segues to the first non-faded line, and in my opinion the most important line of the song: "I'll keep waiting/I'll keep waiting for you" - I think this is modern day Calli telling those she left behind not to give up. She can't go backwards to where they are because there's nothing left for her back there. But the ones left behind can move forward to where she is. Maybe not by the same path she took, but one way or another they can also find the dream. She'll be waiting for them to find their way to her.

Calli's red string is tied to her alternate self, trying to conclude which is the villain. Everyone must face their demons, and her soul was last recognized in her past. Her journey bifricated and must decide in which her soul resides. She is thankful to her friends pre-covid because that version of herself is what she wants to keep alive. Every paradox she can't reconcile, her past demon will take on. This way, the cake she has, the demon will eat it too, all for her past relationships' sake.

Great analysis as always! I've been waiting for this video since the MV got released. Had to listen to the song multiple times to really begin to understand it, and even then, there are several ambiguous parts (gotta love it when artists write things this way, leaving us enough room for different interpretations). Overall, I pretty much agree on this being about Calli's past "life", though I admit the release date was very ingenious (big ups to Kaichou🧡). I was also able to find details I missed before, so thanks for making these kinds of videos, really helpful! 🙏

Thanks for the lovely analysis as always. This song feels like a direct follow up to the struggles she sang about in "Your Mori", specifically GRIALS and Red. There, she was in the middle of questioning her identity (on stream and off), and the unexpected changes that came with becoming a vtuber. Here, while she is feeling very melancholy as she reflects on the end of that other life, it does seem to be from the other side of that struggle. Not exactly "over it" - not sure is something that could really happen - but beginning to accept it. As an aside, broke my heart hearing in her lyric dive that some of her old crew haven't accepted her unexpected path to success (yet... I hope).

Great video Di. Very insightful and thought out as always, I have been thinking about this song ever since it released and hearing other's perspectives on what it can mean really makes me feel joy and intrigue, and yours is one to always contemplate about. Calli keeps us very well fed with food for thought.

Oh my gosh, can I just say I love this song so much and have been waiting for someone to do such an good analysis on it as you have- which I love because it's finally a reactor who knows about calli and what shes been though. (Side note> oh my god you had me tearing up at the end i love this video so much, keep up the great work! :))

I honestly love your dives into Calli's songs. Other perspectives lend even more meanings to songs other than what someone might pick up on on their own. And her songs are all so full of meaning that these are amazing ways to enjoy them

I keep hearing people talking about how this song might also be talking about Coco's graduation, mostly because the song premiered a little after Coco's free chat waiting room ended, but do you see any of that in the song?

What an amazing breakdown. After watching Calli's lyric dive, I found your video. Then went back to watch all your videos and it was really cool to hear your analysis from a vtuber & a big fan's POV.

This song coming out really made it hit home why Calli mentioned liking Reflect so much because they deal with similar themes despite coming at them in (obviously) different ways, Reflect being a more dynamic inner battle where End of a Life is more of a melancholic meditation on the themes, but the ideas of confronting one's past identity, what you owe to it, what feelings you hold for it, moving on from it, and accepting that growth came with change those are present in both songs. Ngl this is Calli's best work so far IMO. She has a lot of hype and fire songs with great lyricism, but the raw emotional power on display here and how she is able to draw the listener into the thematic underpinning of the story even without a lyrical breakdown? *chefs kiss*. Beautiful.

the background music in the first 10 seconds is literally the exact same as a Khai Dreams song that i cant think of the name of edit: I thought of it 5 seconds after commenting and its "Fantasy"

im glad i came across this video. this is by far my favourite song in the hololive sphere but i couldnt quite grasp all of the lines i was hearing. it was very clear it was incredibly personal and retrospective but the extra context provided just what i needed to really appreciate what was being said in these lyrics. thanks for the video and man, it breaks my heart to see calli so conflicted with her own success

I heard this right when it dropped and this song legit made be cry a bit. God your analysis is always so good

Some of her originals do remind me about her past, now I’m sure some people may know who she was in her past before being the grim reaper she is now, but I’m sure she has announced before under an old name about doing something but then wasn’t able to make that comeback and so she just can’t go back now. That is unless she pulls a Coco

Gorgeous analysis. When I saw the video be 30 minutes long I almost clicked away. I don't know what hooked me in but I was not expecting to finish the whole thing in one go with my short attention span. Gonna check out the Violet analysis next but I'm subscribed for sure.

You made me cry like a baby, the video was real hard to watch but still manage to do it, you definitely got a new sub, you really are underrated and deserve more love, more subs and recognition

Impeccable work as always, Di! 💜

Out of all the Reaction/Analysis about this song I've seen around youtube this is probably the best I've seen.

Way better than what I was thinking when I heard this song

i love this song for how unflinching she is with being emotionally vulnerable in it. everyone has demons. to be able to show them even a tiny bit to people like that takes guts. i cant imagine how nervous she was when sending it out to the world about how it would be reacted to. she has a lot of haters for really no reason. her actual identity is like...the worst kept secret in all hololive lol.

This is a great analysis, but I find it funny how every bar is the most important bar of the song

I'm watching your video after watching Calli's lyrics dive and dang! You actually got a lot parts right! Nice video! edit: also, i see your threads on twitter every ttrpg session, i think is really cool! Since I don't know anything about ttrpg, i learned a bit from Calli and you.

the underground rap scene was pretty devastated by Covid. All the small venues, bars (the line about bars being shattered) and the like where they would perform live were shutdown, some permanently. In the wake of this, some of the other artists in the scene - many whom Calli greatly respects - decided to move on (to their "real life"). So while she is more successful now than she could have dreamed of before, this song is reflecting about the parts of that life that are gone now." Even if she wanted to go bac, she quite literally might not be able to.

This song really change me, in a way of self reflection, she always hits me back to reality whenever she make this kinda song, like cursed night, she always hits me with the same vibe "i must go"

As long as she keeps going we will keep listening

A song that's beautifully sad makes you want to give her a hug.

Heya, new here. I was looking through reaction vids for this song because I absolutely loved it and wanted to see what other people thought of it, Scru released his reaction the other day and I saw yours with a whopping 28 mins and I just thought 'Alright, strap in lads.' Anyway! Great work. I loved your analysis of this song and it really does hit home. Thank you for the great content, I'll be watching your other videos on Calli's songs now--

She's talked a fair bit about this the first time she was on the trashtaste podcast. I fully believe we owe her friend Milky Queen a debt we can't repay for being the inspiration and motivation for Callie joining Hololive.

Tysm for this detailed breakdown. There are literally so much stuff that you'd miss without paying attention in her lyrics

Thanks so much for this video, I really liked a lot your analysis on each line and the meaning behind them, constantly talking about her past and who she is now. She can release as many covers as she wants but Calli's originals are the best thing ever, full of sentiment and emotion. This song kinda feels like a "graduation" song to her past "life" but I want think more as she is putting it to sleep until she decides to bring it up from the death again

I don't know why, but hearing her song usually make me cried.

love your review and the fact that future you popped in to make a statement it was funny.

great video, you did a very good analysis of the song

21:03 I think she's listening to the heroes she left behind. I don't think there's anyone more fitting than that. She's listening to the people she idolized, who she's surpassed. She had to leave that part of her behind, so she can't go back and thank them. She used to be a part of that scene, singing with them in the crowd at their shows and in the crowd of people trying to make it. She's saying that scene never died, but she has to say goodbye to it. Another thing I want to add. I always here the lines "You don't get to say 'I miss you'" to the end of the verse as a mix of her telling herself these things, and something that her friends from that scene told her. I couldn't tell you if it was actually them telling her that, or something she's scared of them saying to her if she talks to them, but if I'm right with that interpretation, it makes it even more heart breaking. As much as she wants to thank them for saving her, even if she could do so she thinks/knows they'd spit in the face of that. She sold out. She abandoned them. She turned into a villain and even mocked them with things like 'Off With Their Heads'. Its a regret that's impossible to correct, that she just has to live with and try to let go.

I feel like her burned bridge may have been specifically auditioning for hololive. she has mentioned before that she only heard about it thru a friend who had also applied. SO my theory is maybe she was less than nice about her friend becoming an idol then she realized the opportunity at stake and applied too and then beat her friend out.

Superb, you always point the things that scaped to me.

There are a few bars in this song that really hit home for me, both in general and for where I'm at now. And that's not considering the overall theme and tone of the song. "No use in trying to find friends, cuz in the end nobody stick around." This one hurts, because it's exactly how I've felt a long time. With what I want to do with my life, and the transient nature of what it entails, it often feels like there's no point in growing too close to people. It feels like A) I'll have to leave, B) They'll move on, or C) they'll walk away from me because of some flaw, real or perceived. At that point, it's easy to put up walls and keep people at arm's length. But it also results in the most soul-wrenching loneliness I have ever experienced. And it also hurts to think that Calli has experienced that pain, too. Finally, the two part of the first pre-chorus: "There's nothing left back there for me. Breathe in, but it won't stop the rain from pouring." Regardless of whether it's positive, negative, or in between, we've all got events in our past that we've had to wash our hands of. Things, places, people that we can't - or won't - go back to. The single biggest snag in my own life was one of these instances. I can't go back, and while the negative side is one that I wouldn't want to go back to regardless, it hurts to leave the good behind with it. Which brings me to the second part. I'm sure any fan of Fullmetal Alchemist felt that line: "it won't stop the rain from pouring." Because each of us has had things that we look back on, hurts we've walked through, and thought to ourselves, "It's a terrible day for rain." For anyone that decided to read this all the way through, thank you. It's nowhere near the deep dive that you give, Di, but it's definitely aspects of this song that resonate with me most. And in spite of my emotions telling me I'm the only one, I'm willing to bet there are a lot of other islands out there that feel the same things I've expressed here.

beautiful analysis, and about 16:20, the villain part, the thing she regrets is that she got so much higher than her heroes (she talked about it) that she feels like a villain, for her, they deserved the opportunity too, and what really hurts is that they didn't say that they were proud of what she accomplished just imagine giving all your support to someone, just for them to forget about you and don't even recognize what you made

“Saw the nothing wrong in writing songs behind the lonely shade” could be ghost writing songs?

Been a long time since this upload haha, still enjoying this song to the fullest xd Feeling quite stagnant xd

"I'll be waiting" hits hard because it's like she sped past her friends in a car and is still waiting for a day where they can be together again. However, at the same time she is aware that most likely they'll have to meet her in "her next life" and accept that she "died". She's no longer who she was. The city she was a part of never dies but "she" did and now she's waiting for her past to meet/accept "death" as well. I interpret it like this because "Waking up now, to my real life" is like saying you woke up from being asleep/dead. Also stated in how she was drowning for so long. She still day dreams about what she was doing while she was "asleep". "Daydream until the next night" shows she misses her old life and "Daydream until the next flight" shows that she is moving on because now that she is "dead" there's nothing left for her there and she can't go back. She is just waiting until they "die" aswell and meet her at deaths door. So they can move on to the next life, next flight, etc.

thanks for the analysis, these are so fun~ and yes calli felt almost as if she was crying for something she loves and lost during this whole song. She misses her friends from before but she when to a place they can't follow... at least not without a ridiculous amount of luck, by the time she tries to look back to her old world she found is... gone or just changed to the point its not even the same thing.

It didn't even feel like thirty minutes

If Red was about an identity crisis, then End Of A Life is the resolution to that identity crisis. For better, or worse, the person before Calli is gone and she doesn't think she's allowed to feel sad about that, because she achieved her dream. This is what she always wanted, isn't it? The last bar seems to refer to something most content creators worry about; what happens after KZfaq? And to her specifically; what happens after HoloLive. Because Calli allowed her to realise her dream of making her own music that people love, when Calli (the character) dies, will she wake up from the dream she realised? Will people just forget about her? I'm never a fan of my readings of Calli's work, but the text throughout does always seem to support it X'D

One of my biggest theories is the "Without a direction, roaming aimlessly" and "floating aimlessly" when she talks about "this crazy dream" is talking about an ambitious side of herself having no where else to go up, and a part of her that wants to keep going forward is already pretty much at the top, and is left without direction, even if other parts of her are happy.

Great analysis👍

Wonderful. That makes the song like 10x sadder lol

Some things not really touched on or different -Would LOVE Di's input on this

was the starting BGM from kakigoori galaxy astronaut? haha

I didnt notice all of this until i saw this video of your analysis,and now i feel bad for calli,and wanna hug her

"writing songs behind the lonely shade" I think that's referring to how she used to have to get by without hololive and the frankly amazing people she works with and with nobody hearing or seeing it.

I wonder whom she is waiting for 🤔🤔 Is it her alt self whom she is waiting for to be as successful as Calli or is she waiting for a friend? What do u think?

The most important part of the first line is the “weed”

The song very much reminds me of Milky Queen's Crystal Cities. They have very similar themes and since they've talked about being friends for quite a while and how Milky has shaped Calli's image of idol culture, I think the two songs are very much closely linked in the emotions and experiences that lead to their creation. Or maybe I just have a subconscious urge to shill that song at every opportunity haha 19:40 100% agree. She knows what she's doing. She can make things clear if she wants to. When lines are ambiguous, that is intentional. ~25:00 That's a super interesting thought. Throughout the song she jumps from one perspective to another and about who she is singing and the minute change in register may play into that. Don't have a timestamp for it, but I really like the angle that the red music player is symbolic of the red string of fate. Hadn't considered that and it really adds to the imagery. It's also interesting how the title and content of the song all play into this theme of "a life ending" for varying definitions of what exactly a 'life' is, when she is a reaper, death herself. A life needs to end for death to come into being. Thank you for your analysis. I'm probably affected by recency bias, but this song has pretty much cemented itself as my all-time favourite piece of hers so far. I love hearing more thoughts on it and yours were as deep and well-founded as I've come to expect.

character desgin is too cute

Come on, whoever once being her friends Just say “proud of you “ to her(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)

Since she dropped her lyrics stream today...you pretty much got a lot of things right.

I struggle to even contemplate the levels of my life about which she can sing.

I love your new model

I'd be interesting to see you look at "Crown" by Calli and Boogey Vox. I've heard some people say that it's somewhat a follow up to this song.

Probably the hardest song from this lovely lady since "live again" I know you probably what i'm talking about. :\ I hope she moves on. It hurts me to hear this through her music. Still a great song, she is doing wonderful things with her career. This song is very musically and tonally huge and new for her. Love my Mori. edit: songname - sorry!

I think she feels guilty about getting this opportunity when other more talented, to her, people did not. She did mention that there were more talented people in her circle. Mentors for her too.

love it

you are one smart cookie. I thought I was back in college for a second

good video :)

About if Calli listens to her own music: she has said before that she barely has time to listen to other music than her own these days due to how busy she is with producing songs all the time, so yeah, it would seem she does mainly listen to her own music.

Analysis cause I'm a neeeerd! Another nerd of good times.

well, the netoge rap scene was pretty dead since like ... 2018. Even before COVID. Not that COVID helped or anything. Or, maybe in the end, it did save it actually...

10/10

Calliope Mori doesn't exist, and I wouldn't try and recognize her. I will say, I really appreciate your breakdown. Not a lot of people take the time to make it easier for me to digest one of the many geniuses that exist for me to consume, considering it's already fiction. If I have to imagine the strongest visual, it would be our reaper popping *her* eyes open on a flight, back pain screaming, and thinking "oh yeah, this flight is paid for, and this meal is hot."

She is a big Fan of Eminem and I’m guessing his music influenced her a lot so that could play a part

Finally

i dont know how often you see her streams(or vods if you cant catch a stream) but if you havent already watched it you should take a look at her lyric dive. before she dives into it she clearly mentions that her songs is open for interpretation and if you found a meaning in the song that does not match with hers it doesnt make it any less valid, but when you listen to her feelings regarding the song it is just heart breaking and even if it was just for a tiny moment the entire chat heard a sob before she managed to hold her tears back again

hello I'm new here I hope I can last a long time on this channel

Idol? Hololive is a company for comedian.

I really hope this isnt about her old band Demondice which i still love to listen too.

to Calli: YOU DON'T HAVE TO FEEL GILTI ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE FEALING, just because you're successful now doesn't mean you aren't allowed to envy things you had before, when you weren't!!! You sing melancholically about the past but, it's obvious you FEEL too privileged to miss what you left behind.

its kinda weird lookin at a vtuber react to a video sinds i cant see any facial expressions :P

Melancholic style doesnt immediately mean that the artist "isnt alright" :D