I have had horrible experience regarding this . First he told me she was just his friend , then I got to know they used to like each other once upon a time but parted ways because she rejected him . Then I got to know she wanted him back but he was with me . She used to call him at ungodly hours like 1 am to talk about her personal issues and he used to entertain that . I was accused of being insecure . It was a crazy ride but I am glad it’s over . After a few months of this insanity I dumped him . Supposedly now he has stopped talking to his “best friend “ …. Who cares… I have moved on in my life with an amazing man and we are getting married soon 💍❤️

When I asked my date about his best female friend, a guy I've been talking to for 3 weeks and dated once, I asked him about his perspective on what that means and what kind of activities they do together because having a date with a guy who has a best gf is my first time. To an innocent question he answered defensively with: my best friend is the most important woman in my life, my friendship with her will not be a discussion. I am tempted not to keep dating him just because of that reaction alone

The problem is how close the friendship is. If they talk to each other very often, they see each other one or twice a week.. One of them has ALWAYS secret intentions. Maybe not from the begining, but it ends ups becoming something else for one of them ALWAYS. I have been the girlfriend and the friend, and from my experience in both situations my advice is: 1. It's okay to still have female friends, but involve your gf from the start. If your friend wants to have a coffee with you, then bring your gf (at least from time to time). 2. DONT hide when your friend calls you. 3. Be CLEAR with your gf about why you prefer her, why you are in love with her and NOT with your friend. Reasons!! Women need to hear and to understand why. 4. Distance yourself a little bit from your friend.. if you are serious enough in your love relationship, then your gf has to become your "new best friend", you are supposed to want to spend most of your time with her, the person you want to laugh with.. otherwise, she is not right for you.

I had no rules for my boyfriend and his female best friend is now his girlfriend. It has really messed with my confidence... :/ He obviously was not the right man for me.

Every time I've heard "She's just a friend" it turned out she was much more than a friend. Even if it started out as a friendship, depending on how close they get, it becomes more.

these comments are giving me trust issues

Just friends is probably the greatest lie that people tell

the problem is that girl friends get too comfortable with their male friend and often possessive. They are often trying to show you how well they know him and how she's been longer in his life than you

I'm the friend in this scenario. And I work very hard to make sure that my best friends girlfriend is included and aware of everything going on. Its important to me that she knows I respect their relationship and any boundaries that need to be set up. That's between them and I follow them.

If you, as a woman, don't want the guy in the relationship to have any female friends, then you gotta accept that you can't have any male friends.

I agree that there is always the possibility and potential for emotionally cheating. They don't have to be sexual feelings, but a certain amount of loyalty, affection, and endearment is taken from the significant other with an opposite sex best friend. It's just best to set up your life to eliminate this type of confusion in the first place.

I hate being in this situation. I understand the fact that I should trust him but I don't trust his friend at all and though she invited me and my bf involved me in their "hanging out together or dinner at weekends ", I try to make a good face but can't see them so close together even if they are doing nothing wrong...I also can't bear their "friendly" hug.. I end up being frustrated everytime and things got worse...Because I dont want to spend time with them and I also can't stay calm when they are together...It just eats me up.

Yep, if a guy isn't introducing you to their women friends I would feel that is a red flag.

Its not about jealousy. Its about me not being ok with dating a guy that is lacking assertiveness to put himself in situations like this.

I broke up with my ex because he wanted to convince me there were no problem him to travel to London to visit a female friend and stays at her place. I’m no fool.

Just because he involves you still doesn’t necessarily make it ok. It can create a “3rd wheel” awkward situation. And who really wants to have to see 1st hand “the friendship” happening? I think at the very least it’s disrespectful no matter how “platonic” they say it is. 🤭

Anytime that I have been in a situation where I have dated a man with a female best friend, it has never ended well. I find some men will pit women against eachother and/or create doubt in him through disregarding my feelings. I won't date a man with a female best friend.

Looked at my male friendships a few years ago and realized they were all just guys I’d friendzoned over time. I was keeping them at a distance, but I was keeping them. Their role in my life was to sustain my ego. I was definitely insecure and definitely still am (just smarter about my self-care these days). I started seeing a man romantically those years ago. His previous girlfriend had cheated on him and so he was super sensitive to “guy friends” and things. Social media didn’t help. And I never took that step to protect his ego. He deserved that from me, but I was basking in all the constant validation. I didn’t slow down and come to his level, really. I wasn’t good for him back then but GIRL have I learned. I let go of those male friendships because 1. They weren’t actually built on friendship and 2. I don’t need (straight) guy friends! I have girl friends, and that’s always been enough. In my experience, two people of opposing genders can indeed be friends, but I personally just don’t bring guy friends into my close circle anymore. They can stay in the Acquaintance ring. If I were my boyfriend, I’d feel super comfortable in that dynamic :) And I (again, personally) don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything.

It's true, we all have different boundaries. For me, dating a woman that has plenty of male friends it's a deal-breaker. Finding out she still talks with her ex it's also not a good sign. You can be mature and handle things differently. But don't fool yourself. Trust your guts. She/He may still want to hook up with an ex or have options to hook up when she feels blue or lonely. Be careful, pay attention. If he/she doesn't respect you, walk away.

Some one said "she deserves the best and I can't see her with anyone else. So, I become the best" Only a mature and emotionally available men would understand this content of this video. I don't have an issue with my significant other having friends of the opposite sex. I do have an issue when I don't know about them and I am not part of the equation. 1+1=2 NOT 1+1=3 honesty, transparency, trust, respect is the key to have a loving and long lasting relationship.

If he is loyal to his gf/wife, he won't cheat but there will be questions in his mind like "how could it be if we were together" and then he says "awh don't be stupid she's just my friend" but he knows that there's a possibility even if he denies himself. And that possibility makes him be distracted.Also he could be comparing his female friends to her girlfriend unintentionally. And again, he will feel distracted and confused but he won't know the reason for it. He will feel colder to his partner and find her behaviours more disturbing.

0:55 there is a difference between different sexes 1:26 the difference: the possibility creates the thought of threat 1:43 example / protect & respect you 2:25 two solutions: transparency & involvement 3:45 your responsibility / boundaries / long term mindset 4:38 rebellion & respect 5:20 individual rules (sustainable & kind) 6:27 create your rules with respect & trust 7:24 what you could say Enjoy. J. :)

I completely agree with this! My boundary is just that I don’t want the guy I’m dating to be alone with one of his friends that are a girl. If he’s going to hangout with a girl it can be in a group or I can also be there. One on one can definitely develop into something else later on...

this kind of thing needs to have a limit. I personally never had a guy friend who wasn’t interested in me or I wasn’t interested in them. Friendship attraction goes beyond just sexual/physical attraction and i think it’s a natural, subconscious thing that when our opposite sex friends get a partner we feel a little competitive. Almost like a challenge to test where we actually stand in that person’s mind. I would never let me man be with a woman ALONE more than a few times and who has to text him everyday. Unless they’re not each other’s type or she is also dating

I won't find a boyfriend who has a female best friend. If you do, that's just finding yourself a big headache.

I don't think I want to date men with "woman friends". Yeah it's possible but usually it's more than friends or the desire for more. I just dumped my boyfriend because my best friend and him were flirting. It was honestly disgusting and I see them as trash. I was so shocked by their utter lack of regard for my feeling and I really have no interest in knowing either of them. I can't simply walk away from the friend because we have a mutual social group but I will avoid her from now on.

Thank you so much for this, i am literally having an anxiety attack because i have been dealing with this type of insecurity for over 6 months. My guy has 2 guy friends and at least 10 lady friends and I can't make myself trust him consistently

I so appreciate you addressing this issue from this perspective Matthew, ie. protecting the relationship, making your partner feel safe/secure. I would agree 100% about transparency and involvement. In my own experience, feeling like I'm on the outside, not being included and feeling like those friendships are intentionally kept separate doesn't breed trust. I don't hear very many people discuss jealousy in this way. Usually the jealous person is criticized for being insecure without examining relational dynamics. Putting the relationship first and creating security for each other is so, so paramount ❤

Apparently these days, relationship is about giving space. Its about believing that your boyfriend will have multiple platonic relationships with multiple girls, including exes. And you have to be content if he chooses them over you, if he doesn't mention what they do together, if you have no idea what they are talking about, if he doesn't make an effort to make you familiar with them, if you feel like your boyfriend is a whole new person visibly dying for their attention, you just have to remember their relationship is platonic, and that justifies everything. Their late night conversations, random meetings, endless chats topped with you having no idea about it, everything is justified- because they are best friends. And the day you wake up to find they are in a relationship now and you have been chucked out, even then you have to be content, because people will say you were the fool here, you didn't draw a line.

dont kid yourself...there is always one or the other that has hidden intentions.

When your boyfriend has lots of female best friends ..it's a constant pain situation.

If you are insecure listen to your instincts. If you feel threatened, you are.

"I'm never going to miss the opportunity to make a video for you - I'm never going to let you down" - thank you for reminding us of the kind of things that quality, solid men say to women!

Key word here: Transparency and Involvement. If you have a bestie that you keep to yourself exclusively, and secretly then no.

I sent this video to my bf because we were struggling in this area of our relationship. Your message really resonated with us and improved our bond! Thank you Matthew ❤️

I had my boyfriend listen to your video and he really finally understood my side. Thank you for helping us💛. You really have a special gift, very articulate. ☺️

If you're a straight man and your platonic friendship with a woman doesn't feel identical to a friendship you have with a gay man (e.g. If you don't find her sexually repulsive -- can still be attractive, but sexually repulsive), then that person isn't your friend. They're a standby.

This is excellent. As a woman who has been happily married for decades and whose best friend is male, these two principles are what I live by and are how my husband knows he is loved and secure in our marriage. This information is so much better than most advice on the subject. Respect and transparency and demonstrating that my husband is always my priority are the keys.

I do not think it matters if women are confident or insecure, they have a right to ask questions and understand the relationship between their significant other and another woman. Especially if there is a new friendship going on. Lines of communication need to be made. Secret conversations or secret “friendships” can be a huge red flag. I feel like social media opens the door to be able to chat with new people and even if it’s innocent it can really betray the trust of your partner. Meaning, why would a man have conversations with another woman when their girl is in their life always open and available to talk to. I understand talking to new people with new points of view is a good thing, but not when it’s done in secret. If you can’t tell your girlfriend/or boyfriend you’re talking to someone else or building a friendship, you’re in the wrong. Something isn’t right and once it comes out, even if it’s innocent, trust is bruised.

I believe this video also applies to men whose partners are friends with their ex's. It makes so much sense about protecting the ego and having transparency.

So I told him how’d he feel if I went out with a male friend and he said he doesn’t care because he trusts me. But I can’t get him to understand that it’s not the trust is more of the respect but he doesn’t grasp it and I don’t know how else or what example I can give home because everything is “ I don’t care, I don’t put mind to it or I trust you” like damn

My bf has a female friend and he tells me he used to want a relationship with her. Ive meet her and she seems nice, but he has given me hand me downs from her, and says she was thinking about me and that they have deep conversations about her bf and myself and that I am always on his mind, and that she deserves a guy who is thoughtful of her, like he is to me.....hes told me they used to sleep in the same bed and he helped raise her kids,.. I am not a jealous person, but I dont want to listen to it Especially, cause im accused of cheating on him with every guy who is in my general vicinity breathing.....

He would literally be such a great boyfriend/husband.

I am the “girl friend” in this case. Met him when his marriage was already on the rocks and he wanted to get divorced. What started out as a friendly conversation and hanging out quickly became emotional and intimate. By the time I realised what’s happening I already started to have feelings for him. (Never been close to married men in any form so had no experience). Of course he lied to the wife and I was suffering from guilt and unrequited feelings. We still have an emotional connection and he wants to talk to me. After the divorce he immediately moved in with another woman. Don’t believe when men say they just want to be friends. They cannot keep boundaries at all. The fact that we didn’t have sex(could not do that,never done that to anyone) doesn’t mean there could not be feelings there. Everyone will think of his partner noone will think about you. Never again. I cut him off and don’t talk to him anymore.

My ex had female friends all of which he admitted to either dating having crushes on at one point, etc and never introduced me to them and they would text and hang out making me feel left out. When I complained he said I was being drama and should trust him. Yet it was unacceptable for me to have guy friends or even men text me. It was amazing how he would get jealous but couldn’t put himself in my shoes or in my place when he is eating out with them or going to their houses or being their handyman. I asked numerous times to meet them and he said ok and never put it into motion. Ultimately it gave me so much anxiety wondering what they were talking about and whether or not he was attracted to them that I was crying all the time and finally left the relationship. Not to mention one of the women they referred to each other as “Babe” and “Love” by text and yet he expected me to believe they had no history other than friends. He couldn’t understand why I got angry and wanted to go home. He also stopped being affectionate with me or treating me like he had in the beginning which made me feel even less secure. It hurts because I loved him so much but I just felt like he didn’t care at all about my feelings, all that mattered were his. And when I broke up and hung out with a guy friend from high school his comment was “Nice hope you’re happy together”. So he would have never been able to tolerate me having guy friends like he had female friends which by the way were all single. Maybe someday he will be in a relationship with a woman who has single male friends she texts, hangs out with, goes to their house, and never introduces to him, and he will understand how I felt.

Thank you. My ex said I was completely in the wrong to be annoyed he arranged to meet a female friend (former person he dated) when I was at work to go for a walk with her dog, also only dropped it in the conversation 24 hours beforehand and had known for a week. You have made me realise he never took into consideration my feelings at all.

Matthew would you feel comfortable if your wife or girlfriend was texting or hanging out with an ex lover or a very close male friend? I wonder how a man would feel? It seems there is pressure for women to be flexible on this but not the man. My friend was flexible and her once faithful husband ended up sleeping with the female friend, trust is important but even faithful men or women have been known to fall into temptation. I believe having respect for each others feelings is very important. Hanging out as a group is one thing but alone I sure would not feel comfortable.

The worst feeling in this situation is. When you're the girlfriend. But his fixing her bestfriend while you're in pain.

When I do communicate how I feel he says I’m trying to control him and he’s a grown man and can do what he wants.

You have explained this so well. I did the same thing you have explained, although I hadn't watched this video, but it really helped a lot. And for anyone reading this, what he just explained is the mantra: you all need to be more clear while communicating your feelings towards your partner instead of avoiding the topic. The more you avoid, the more uncomfortable the relationship gets.

But the big question is: can a deep friendship exists between men and women? What do you think? I personally think it may work for a while but sooner or later one of the two will start feeling more. At least, that's what happened to me so far...

The best friend must no longer be the best friend, if you are the best friend, take this heed. Keep Calm & Talk About It. Simply Infiltrating Thought.

I was in a relationship with a person and there was a lot of trust. Several of my good friends were guys and his best friend was a girl. I knew this girl and had actually gone to school with her for years and never viewed her as a threat but then I discovered that he cheated on me with someone and later found out it was her. At the same time, I still don't see a problem with best friends of the opposite sex because I will not stop seeing my guy friends and spending time alone with them because they are family and I wouldn't expect my partner to either. There just needs to be trust. He had cheated before in other relationships so if it wasn't with his best friend (and the girl actually apologized and we are on good terms, he never did) it would have been with someone else.

I was upset about this whole situation but then while watching this I realized I went from watching your “does he like me?” Videos to your “dating” videos and now watching your relationship advice videos. Lol you’ve been inadvertently coaching me through all this. So thanks! Haha

I still think it's inappropriate for a man or woman who is in a committed relationship, regardless if they are married, to be hanging out alone with a person of the opposite sex. Just my opinion. The problem happens when we don't make our boundaries clear.

This is such an enlightening video. So logical...& from a man's perspective. Some guys just persist on privacy & demand that you trust. But trust is earned. It is so hard to just go & trust somebody without having proof & experience to show that one can indeed be trusted. And sometimes something in my heart just can't accept things at face value.

What if you're in a long distance relationship and this is happening and it's his boss. I'm on the verge of letting go because I definitely don't want my feelings hurt.

I would not be friends with a woman who had previous sex with my boyfriend......but then I am old-fashioned

My problem is not that I don't trust my boyfriend, but trusting those girlfriends of his... That's another story. Even though my boyfriend wouldn't do anything suspicious, I can never know what those girls might do. They are so open (not only in that good, healthy way, but I don't know the right word for this...) and "free-minded" that I sometimes get scared what might happen. I don't like the idea of them suddenly just ripping their clothes off while being too drunk, sitting on my boyfriends lap and putting their arms around his neck (this has actually happened and it hurt sooooo much!) or grabbing his private parts or something. I have told this to my boyfriend, but I didn't want to tell him not to see them again or something (since they are so scarily close) but I hope he understood my point. I don't want to be that girlfriend who tries to rule her man and keep him on a short leash. If he wants to be with me or stay loyal to me, then he will, if he doesn't, there's no point for me to try to force him. I love him to bits but I don't want to scare him away with demands and rules. Thank you for your videos! They are amazing. I wish more men were like you are

You should do workshops to train men to be perfect boyfriends!!

You just saved my relationship of 10months:). Thank you, Matthew Hussey!

For me it only means one thing when your bf befriends other females, you’re not enough.

Sustainable rules, CRITICAL! Great video, sensitive topic handled with compassion, empathy, and respect.

I don't agree that a boyfriend of mine has other women who are "friends". these relationships take away from the actual feelings between you and "him". If he wants friendships with other women this is a red flag for me and it isn't insecurity. See if he goes along with my having men who are friends???????Time to move on??????

Thank you Matthew. This video has been a huge relief and validation for me. I have often wondered if I am being unreasonable in expecting that someone whom I like should be open to me about his relationships with the opposite sex. Now I am happy to hear that it is essential for anyone who cares about us to actually show it by protecting not just our feelings but also our ego.

My so called girlfriend isn't transparent about her guy friends. She separates me from them, and I can sense she is NOT honest about things.😯 We talked about it like the video here, but it doesn't sink into her head on the topics. She'll then get mad and avoids me. I'm tired feeling like shit.😯 She has more chemistry with them than she does with me. she even calls them "love" sometimes 😟I just wished she would be in my shoes sometimes. yeah, I think we should break up.💔 I've been with her for 4 years and nothing has changed. God I wished I had my 4 years back with no memory of her.

My boyfriend has a female friend that he looks at as a 'sister', and I've never had a partner who had as many or any female friends the way does...I want to trust him but I just get this weird feeling and so jealous. He introduced us right away, but it feels to me like he misses her and thinks of her often. Ps, I found this video helpful and intuitive but I just still just am not used to it.

I want specifically thank you for this video. I have come out of the relationships, where my partner was not protecting me and priotizing me and our relationships over his involvement with other ladies. It was major problem, I became controlling, and ended up breaking that relationship up because I had become a shadow of that bubbly person I used to be. Because of that, I have carried some insecurities about myself and some questions I may want to talk with my partner, and this video gave me security to trust my gut and right to have that conversation. Without being controlling or bitchy, of course.

Thank you for this. It’s been driving me crazy for months.

I love my bf and I trust him. It does stop me from feeling a little icky about a particular “best female friend” that he has though. I’ve met his other friends who are girls and I met this girl too. I’ve hung out with her very few times one on one, but I think her to be very beautiful and sweet girl. I don’t dislike her at all, no bad feelings or any sort of resentment. We are very very different in appearance and personality. Never in my relationship have I forbid him or told him not to talk or hang out with a female, friend or not. But before he and I got together I had a suspicion that they either liked each other or one of them wanted to be more than friends. It was just the vibe they had. Later once we were dating he confirmed that she did indeed like him but he liked me. He also said that she would encourage him to talk to me and ask me out (love her for that) He tells me that she means a lot to him and that she’s his best friend and that he really misses her. I can’t help but feel a little jealous? Like I’m so happy he has such a great friend. And I’m happy it’s her. I just- well I guess writing this and addressing this in a comment section is making me realize that I feel insecure. We both have her Snapchat and on Instagram and she’s so beautiful and very daring. She’s definitely comfortable in her own skin and has had more experiences concerning sexuality than I ever have. She wears sexy black and has beautiful tattoos. Her body is so attractive And She posts these very hot thirst traps on Snapchat, and what can I say? She’s stunning. And then there’s me in a whole different ballpark. I’m less sexy and more mellow and I guess you could say girly? In a pink and pastels sort of color palette😂😅 I’ve only ever had two relationships in my life one of which is my current one with my boyfriend. A virgin in every sense of the word😅 and a complete nerd and geek for anime and books, and done video games. My clothes are girly and more covered up I guess. I’m never going to tell him to stop talking to someone he associates with. I love him to much to be selfish like that. I just wish I didn’t feel that twinge of jealousy and uncertainty whenever he brings her up. I hate myself for feeling like this.

It's nice to say a guy should be transparent with his girlfriend about his female friend... but the reality is sometimes friends share private information that they may not want a third party privy to.... so as a man you must respect your friend's right to privacy... and his girlfriend needs to respect that as well ... not everything kept secret is a threat to their relationship

As a guy who makes friends slot easier with women than men you make some good point. An aspect of a great friendship has an element of attractiveness, keeping your partner comfortable about female friends is the guy's responsibility

Tbh I have thoery that if we are botherd with most of the things our partners do is because we are dating the wrong person. People who are right for each other don't have many problems.

My ex never once included me in any of his social activities or introduced me to his female friend(s) - that part of his life was kept entirely apart from me. He emphasised how important these people & his social life were to him while complaining that I took up too much of his time - that he should be spending with them. I feel a huge amount of shame that instead of leaving him immediately this became apparant I tried to figure out where I was going wrong. Trying to explain how I felt resulted in me being told I was needy & controlling etc. Needless to add the (so called) relationship didn't last.

THANK YOU!! My phone must be listening because today I was talking on the phone with my bestfriend telling her how my BF having girl best friends makes me so jealous and I opened youtube a few hours later and on my _KZfaq Home_ was this video. And thanks to you I just realised my boyfriend IS transparent and DOES protect my ego. And that now it is I who has to work on my feelings towards his friendships. Thaaaaank you! Eye opening

Mathew, I love you for always giving the advice taking into account the emotions people actually experience

If that woman is their best friend, then perhaps he should marry her? After all, all they need to do is add the sex and they have the relationship.

Funny fact is that I am the loyal partner who knows to keep distance from friends of the opposite sex, without him having to specifically telling me what to do, but my ex seemed like he didn’t know the boundaries, even though I already made myself clear before that. He hid and lied to me about his interactions with other girls. And those broke our trust. Since then, I became anxious and insecure. I repeated to him my boundaries again, and told him he had to take action to earn back my trust. Yet, he broke up with me, saying that it’s too stressful and I’m too much. But… it was him who crossed the boundary first… I just felt confused and disappointed. He said he lied to me, because he was afraid that I will be angry, the same old excuse again. I feel like i don’t have the right to feel angry anymore. Then, why, knowing that I would be angry, but he still chose to cross boundary with other girls? He made a choice in hurting me and didn’t care about losing me. I feel disrespected.

I follow you, Matt, constantly, the transparency and involvement is very important!!! I had a relation with a guy who was with me 8 months and he was calling his ex constantly behind my back, telling that they were only friends, but when I ask him to be present next time they ''need'' to talk, he denied!!! Everything was said by this!!!

So relevant, like always!

My situation in this topic is a difficult one to put in its place. My boyfriend has a female best friend. She sleeps over his house on weekends maybe once a month to do her laundry and spend time there. He involves me with her but I get subtle signs that she is annoyed that he has a girlfriend. My very first time away with him, she came along and since we just started dated I had my own room but they slept in the same room together (separate beds). I felt secure in the relationship so it didn't bother me, however her behavior makes me feel she has feelings for him that he refuses to recognize so now I feel it's an unhealthy relationship. The last time we all spent the weekend at his home I felt horrible and detached, he was distant and I felt like the 3rd wheel. I broke up with him, but he insisted he didn't realize my feelings so we gave it another chance and she hasn't slept over again. They are going away together to volunteer for a weekend and they usually share a room, however he states he will not since I don't approve. He never mentions her anymore and our relationship seems to be going downhill. Now we are both starting to lose trust in each other. He doesn't mention her and he seems to have a close relationship with his phone, which is a red flag to me. Any thoughts or advice?

Dear Matthew, Have you ever had a best friend who is a female? Yes, this video is geared towards the lady who is in a relationship with a man, whose best friend is a female. As someone who is best friends with a male, I have the respect for his relationship, to actually step away and yet, be there for him when he needs me. I never wanna be considered a threat to my best friend's girlfriend/ wife. But at the same time, there are some things in my personal life and his personal life, that we both trust to be strictly confidential and that is a trust that is not meant to be broken.

If your BF wants to make friends with new girls, it's because he isn't fully into you. There is no conversation you can have that will make you feel less threatened by the fact that he's taking another girl out to lunch, showing her all the spots, laughing, and having a connection. If you don't like the feeling of basically being his sex-avenue, drop him. Find someone that is confident and does't need or want other girls to boost his ego. The last thing I want is to talk about another girl with my BF!!

The absolute answer is NO!!!! No no no. Because ALL MEN WANT A CHANCE WITH THE GIRL. Women don’t understand we don’t have that same sexual reality

Why do you do this Matthew? You ALWAYS discuss issues that i am going through right now. I had a discussion with my long distance partner yesterday about this. He just moved to the other end of the world to study for a year and instantly became friends with a female who he met on the bus( Same university). When i called him, he said he's with her as she wanted to look for a house. I was shocked and felt very weird because we're already in a long distance and this adds so much tension in our relationship. I am fine with him hanging out with women and men in a group but going out alone with a woman makes me feel bad because it just wrong when you're in a long distance. There must be some ground rules! I am perfectly fine with him hanging out with his close female buddies. But i didn't know this new girl and felt like i was thrown into something. Discussed with him about this and he apologized. He said she wanted to look for houses when they were on the way to the mall and he obliged. Sadly, he also got her to his apartment as she was waiting for a call from a landlord. He shares a huge house with 7 others.Asked him how he would feel if i did the same thing? He said, he would be hurt. So i told him he's free to do whatever he wants to but don't expect me to wait around.

I'm in a current situation where my bf had a childhood friend and the comments make me stress. Anyway, I don't trust his bestfriend

I liked the way you explained this. I would say that at least in a marriage one shouldn't have friends of the opposite sex. To a married couple, I am friends with the couple.

Love this video - I'll show it to my BF having friends even being friends with an ex - as you say transparency and envolvement makes it less a threat... also thanks for what I can do about it for myself.

WORD! Thanks for the honest video. People need to see this!! Only managed to see this video eons after my own relationship failed due to the inability to meet eye to eye amongst the boundaries that needed to be created. Both party's responsibility is great in the relationship and you nailed it by coming out from both perspectives. Doing a great job there!

My boyfriend fiancé is still friends with his ex girlfriend and i am not ok with it.. it’s hurting.. knowing that woman still can come in and out of the house just like that... this is really hurting..

another answer is self-development, self-leadership, self-love, and spirituality to discover your purpose, power and peace so that you are satisfied with yourself and great in a relationship

so happy to hear this... most men don't get the transparency and involvement part

That’s how i feel like left out cuz it seems like i could never compare with them

As a women myself I like my men to have friends and meet new people and do his thing and if he ever came home and told me that he has feelings for somebody else I would have been happy and moved on there's no point of me being mad or upset because I know there's other guys I can get 💯♥️💪that's in my opinion

Pretty much had this talk today. Couldn't agree more to the transparency and involvement piece. I wish I could have sent him this video instead of wasting my breath😂

Wooow, Matthew, I can't tell you how much I appreciate this video and the way you put everything into perspective. I've felt so alone in my feelings of discomfort about my BFs friendship with another woman and I couldn't understand why even though I KNOW he loves and respects and is loyal to me, I still felt insecure about this friendship. Now I understand that I felt left out by him not being open about it and I can FINALLY have a conversation with him where he might understand too how and why I feel this way and we can agree together on how to make each other fell good about the long-term outcome of the boundaries we set. I love your spirit and energy and I THANK YOU immensely for all that your are giving to all of us women who need this kind of sound advice. Much love, God bless!!

You can have friends, but I feel that your closest and best friend should always be your partner and your number one priority. Yo

Matthew, in the situation you had given the man lied to his girlfriend about his prior involvement with that "friend".

Had been in that situation and I did spoke to him directly and discussed it with him. Now we are going ok

My recommendation to couples is to get to know other couples. Have friends who are already in relationships and always involve your partner in any events you and your friend have. Make sure they are fully aware of everything you and your fried are doing, keep them updated. Check on them if they are being a little bit off with you. And always listen to what your partner has to say to you about your friend of the opposite sex. You would be surprised how much your partner sees that you don't.