Disclaimer: This video was reuploaded as a joke between friends because we thought it was funny. Turns out even toxic individuals can find a video you like. If you harass the individual in the video, you're a pretty big scumbag. Leave your stupid comments here instead of bothering them.

She's attractive and is the size of an average human mother

My absolute favorite part of this video is how 90% of the entries are just him saying "This character has hair, and that's pretty hot."

this is easily in my top 10 favorite videos ever made. His weird obsession with hair, overuse of the word "female," and wonderful quotes such as "What a price to pay!" "Look at that pony tail! now we're talkin'!!!" "if only we could see her take wing." Every line and frame in this video is absolutely perfect

I like how Amy is attractive because she has “three big very smooth arcs of hair”

"Her forty-five degree ponytail makes her look like a native american" I fucking choked on my water

>Makes list of hottest female sonic characters > "Who wouldnt want to flirt with any male, any time, anywhere?" This man is truly a complex individual

"She's attractive and the size of an average human mother." This video is the GOAT.

“The size of an average human mother” Ah yes a very common metric.

Schrodinger's Satire: When you can't possibly believe that someone would make a piece of media without it being a joke, but it's delivered with such convincing sincerity that you have no way of knowing if it is or isn't ironic.

So this is what Ben Shapiro was doing In high school.

It's widely known that Vanilla carries the exaggerated swagger of an average human mother.

My absolute favorite part about this video is that it’s about how hot the characters are and yet the only time he brings up their looks is when he talks about her hair

Chris O'Neill knows this video by heart.

Things that make you attractive: Being blue-colored Being the height of an average human mother Having 3 very smooth streaks of hair Wearing a dress Droopy eyes Very long feathers Looking humanoid Controlling fire Having a ponytail that makes you look like a native-American Having an attitude different from the other females Cascading quills and hair Long ponytail

His fucking reasonings for why they’re hot will always be the funniest part of this video. He seems to have a thing for long hair, mothers, and ethnic royalty.

I always wanted a girl that I can call "the average size of a human mother"

grab yourself a glass of OJ and a celery stick and lets game

This is my first time encountering someone with a head hair fetish.

Whether this video is ironic or serious, it is a thing of beauty and we should cherish it.

*_NOw We'Re TaLkiNG_*

this feels like something old matpat would make

This is absolutely satire, I refuse to believe this is genuine.

>Sonic >Sweetheart >Speaks spanish for no reason >Mother fixation This guy is Chris-chan

_"Vector the Crocodile falls in love with Vanilla the Rabbit. Kinda silly, don't you think?"_ Says the human gushing over 9 different animals.

i absolutely refuse to believe that this wasnt the result of a lost bet

“Sonic is one oft he most attractive characters ever thought up”

“The Sonic Universe might also be classified as Hot Chick Heaven” Pure Gold

Lyrics: Sonic the Hedgehog. One of the greatest and most attractive characters ever thought up. He can run at sound speed, take out enemies in a flash, and best of all, he's blue colored and knows how to handle the females. Speaking of females, the Sonic universe might also be classified as "Hot Chick Heaven" because there's such a mess of very beautiful and tough women that it will make you love the franchise even more! And since Valentine's Day is around the corner, I've been inspired to make a top 10 list of the most beautiful female Sonic characters. Grab yourself a snack and a glass of orange juice, and try not to reach through the screen because HERE WE GO! 10: Try this question on for size. Who chases and hugs Sonic all the time and wields a powerful hammer? Why it's Amy Rose of course! Though more of a cutie than a hottie, you can't deny the fact that she's still attractive. Two things that make her attractive are the fact that she wears a dress, and when have you ever seen 3 big, very smooth arcs of hair sticking out of a person's forehead? I haven't! So once again, Amy Rose is lovely; that is until she goes berserk and starts hitting stuff with her hammer. Who's at number 9? It's this alien plant girl from a distant planet. Cosmo, from Sonic X. She arrived on the character's planet to deliver a message saying that the galaxy was under attack by a force called the Metarex. She doesn't do much except tell people to stop fighting and focus on the real matter at hand. The real reason she lands at the #9 is that she becomes Miles "Tails" Prower's sweetheart, something Tails needed for a long while. Numero Ocho. Cream the Rabbit's mother, Vanilla. She's attractive and the size of an average human mother. What really surprises me about her is that the leader of Team Chaotix, Vector the Crocodile, falls in love with her. Kinda silly, don't you think? She's another character that doesn't do much, but in a season 3 episode of Sonic X, she helps Chris Thorndyke get into space to fight the Metarex along with Sonic and friends. What number's next? Seven, of course. Wave the Swallow from Sonic Riders. People always root for the good guys, but sometimes, the bad guys steal the show. Her mechanical IQ is equal to Tails. She also happens to be the smartest member of the Babylon Rogues. I wonder why she isn't the leader. Like Jet the Hawk and Storm the Albatross, her specialty is riding the air-boards called "Extreme Gear". With two very long and smooth feathers extending from her head to her calves and droopy eyes, Wave will rock your socks. If only we could see her take wing. Numero Six. Tikal the Echidna from Sonic Adventure 1. Named after an ancient Mayan city of the same name, Tikal is the daughter of Chief Pachacamac. She's yet another character that hardly does a thing except beg her father to stop being so greedy. She also traps herself inside the Master Emerald so that the water god Chaos doesn't reign terror upon the land. When you're the daughter of a person in the highest power, you need to look your best and Tikal delivers perfectly. That's why she's #6. Number #1, #2, #3, #4, #5! Ah-Ah-Ahhh! Mina Mongoose from the Sonic Archie comics. How could you go wrong with a girl that looks like this? She can run nearly as fast as Sonic and she went from being a Freedom Fighter to being a popstar singer. Next to Princess Sally she looks more humanoid than the other characters. Who could top someone who has long (some French word I don't know) hair? This female standing at number 4: Blaze the Cat. One word: Pyrokinesis. How would you like to have that superpower? I mean Blaze could play around in the Himalayas for hours and she would be perfectly fine! Also, 45 degree ponytail makes her look like a Native American. I really like the fact that her love interest is the telekinetic hedgehog Silver. The combination of mind-moving and fire superpowers make these two a reliable couple. But what really lands Blaze in the #4 spot is that her attitudes apparently more different from the other females. Next up is #3. What's better than having a female with cascading quills? How about a female with cascading quills and hair? Julie-Su the Echidna, another Archie comic exclusive has that feature. She's smart, knows exactly what to do as a freedom fighter, and even trained Amy once. She's also the girl of Knuckles' dreams. Heh, lucky him. Her older self in the series Mobius: X Years Later is just downright hot! Just look at that long ponytail! Now we're talkin'! 1, 2, button my shoe! Princess Sally Acorn. There's a lot to say about this character. She's the heir to the throne, Sonic's first official romance, the only character that used to not wear clothes, brave and athletic, the most humanoid character, and is like a mother to Tails. In the TV show, Sonic SatAM, one Freedom Fighter, the cowardly Antoine constantly tries to woo Sally, but doesn't succeed because… he's a coward! The Princess is also a semi-perfect example of an excellent love interest, although there were a couple of times when she really snapped and acted like a lunatic; in the comics, that is. But overall, Sally Acorn really stands out amongst the slew of females not just because she's Sonic's first official love interest, or because she's the only one who didn't wear clothes, but because in the comics, she grew very long hair, and married Sonic in the future, becoming the Queen. So, you've seen a pyrokinetic Cat, a swallow, two gorgeous echidnas, and even a princess! Who could possibly top those kinds of females? Well, get ready folks; this is the #1 hottest Sonic the Hedgehog female character. Rouge the Bat. If anybody denies it, how dare you? This woman can fly, she's as strong as Knuckles, and is a femme fatale, seducing other characters into getting what she wants. Instead of having one love interest, she has two! Knuckles, and Shadow the Hedgehog. Being a treasure thief, she's only interested in one object set; jewels, especially the Chaos Emeralds. There actually have been situations where Rouge's cleavage has been exposed, but it eventually got censored. What a price to pay. I think the best part about this beauty is that she wears three different outfits unlike the other female characters. And who wouldn't want to fly across the landscape via strong as Shawn Johnson, and flirt with any male, anytime, anywhere. These three traits make Rouge the Bat triumph over all of the Sonic the Hedgehog females. My hat goes off to you Sonic Team USA. You oughta be proud. There ya have it folks. Those were the hottest female chicks in the Sonic universe. I hope you enjoyed it, happy Valentine's Day, and I'll see you later. HERE WE GO!

I don't care if this guy ended up being a pro fighter, jacked af, had three ph D's, and made this video as a joke, I would still fight him over Vanilla's placement

This should be in the Library of Congress

*WHAT A PRICE TO PAY*

I can't believe how much of Dunky's video wasn't original. That makes it so much funnier.

List of things that this guy looks for: Hair Dress Size of an average human mother Strength of an olympian athlete Sorry to any ladies lacking these attributes, you're nothing in the eyes of the great Guptil

Would you bury your sonic waifu in an adult size coffin or a child size coffin?

"He knows how to handle THE females" Please tell me this is a joke

Summary: 10: Amy Rose. Traits: 3 smooth long hair spikes and has big hammer. 9: Cosmo. Traits: is Tails’ significant other. 8: Vanilla The Rabbit. Traits: is the size of an average human mother. 7: Wave the Swallow. Traits: High mechanical IQ (Matches that of Tails), 2 long feathers that extend from her head to her calves, and droopy eyes. 6: Tikal the Echidna. Traits: trapped herself in the master emerald. 5: Mina Mongoose. Traits: can run nearly as fast as Sonic, is a pop star. 4: Blaze the cat. Traits :Pyro kinesis, has 45 degree feathers on her head like a Native American, has a different attitude from the other females, and her love interest is Silver. 3: Julie Su the Echidna. Traits: Has cascading quills and hair. Smart, knows what to do, and is a freedom fighter. Side note: her future self’s pony tail is extremely long. 2. Princess Sally Acorn. Traits: Heir to the throne, Sonic’s first romance, the only character that used to not wear clothes, brave, and athletic. Like a mother to tails. Has very long hair and married Sonic in the future. 1. Rouge the Bat. Traits: can fly, is as strong as Knuckles, and has been known to seduce other characters. Has 2 love interests, Knuckles and Shadow. Rouge is only interested in gaining jewels, (especially the chaos emeralds) and has quite an obsession. Temporary has exposed cleavage, and has 3 different outfits.

“There actually was a situation where her cleavage was exposed. What a price to pay!”

“Two things that make her attractive are the fact that she wears a dress and...” 🧐 a true intellectual I see

It’s hard to tell if this is satire, not because it’s convincing or anything, but because someone would have to be impossibly funny to create this many banger lines

This dude kinda sounds like Sonic

I love how the game grumps channel liked this mess.

The virgin game grumps vs the Chad oneyplays

Whoever keeps photoshopping that red dot on Tomar's IMDb profile, STOP IT.

No matter how many years go by, I still cannot believe someone actually MADE this. 💀

This isn’t comedy gold It’s a comedy vault

Even if theirs a chance that this was satire a decade ago, the script is the most perfect, well worded pieces of comedy I ever heard.

You can actually hear him getting progressively turned on the more he talks about each character.

One of my all time favorites, nothing sells a video faster than calling Sonic "attractive" in the first four seconds.

Rogue the Bat. If anybody denies it, how dare you? This woman can fly, she’s as strong as Knuckles, and is a femme fatale, seducing other characters into getting what she wants. Instead of having one love interest, she has two! Knuckles and Shadow the Hedgehog. Being a treasure thief, she’s only interested in one object set, jewels, especially the Chaos Emeralds. There actually have been situations where Rogue’s cleavage has been exposed, but it eventually got censored. What a price to pay! I think the best part about this beauty is that she wears three different outfits unlike the other female characters. And who wouldn’t wanna fly across the landscape, be as strong as Shaun Johnson, and flirt with any male, anytime, anywhere? These three traits make Rogue the Bat triumph over all the Sonic the Hedgehog females. My hat goes off to you Sonic Team USA. You ought to be proud.

"If only we could see her take wing"

I just realized that this was published during the whole copyright infringement by Ken Penders, a good portion of these characters canonically don't exist now.

And this is why hell exists,

This was awesome! just so nostalgic... Honestly, I'm impressed by the open expressionism shown here. today it feels like everyone is censoring themselves in fear of being ridiculed for trying to be outstanding. so it's quite refreshing seeing the narrator be open about what they like in such a flamboyant way! I'm not a sonic fan, not by a long shot. and although not seeing eye to eye with it for the most part, I still enjoyed the video quite alot.

''My deduction skills, as a detective, tell me that this man has quite possibly, never had sex.'' - Inspector Gadget

Liked by Game Grumps. Dan is furry confirmed.

this video is so insane and i love it. he legitimately talks like he's never seen another human before much less a woman.

I feel tremendously better about my shut-in anti-social life after watching this video. I can't remember the last time I took a woman out for dinner or anything but I do know that I've never compiled a list of Sonic the Hedgehog females based on attractiveness and posted it on the fucking Internet. Thank you EllyStranger, for the pick-me-up!

Screw Game Grumps, I’m here from OneyPlays

4:14 I love how he just says that and doesn't even fucking elaborate. "Her attitude is apparently more different from the other females"? Different how? You're not going to explain, dude? And it's only "apparently" different, mind you.

this is 1000% real, because no sane person would do in-depth research into weird ass sonic tv shows and comics for a satire meme video.

Time to wipe my search history. Someone kill me.

This guy has a perfect voice for this video. He was born for this.

This guy 100% has a hair fetish, mentioning hair length so often isnt normal lol

I guess dan had a night to himself with the Game Grumps channel... #DanIsFurryConfirmed

Welcome to hot chick heaven guys

This is obviously a troll... it's a troll right ? Right ?

This work of art is 12 years old. How time flies

Who's here from doobus goobus' video?

"What's better than having a girl with cascading quills? How about cascading quills with hair!" What the literal fuck is this writing.

I hope your parents didn't hear you recording this

_"The size of an average human mother."_ *Who the hell would ever describe anyone or anything in that way?*

Broke - Game Grumps Woke - OneyPlays

Why are we still here? Just to suffer?

People calling this satire just don’t understand how cringe sonic fans can be especially this far back in KZfaq’s history.

KZfaqrs: "youtube was so much better back in the old days" Me:

"Best of all, he's blue colored" Holy shit he's right

3:49 if any of y’all are from Doobus, then this is what you’re looking for 6:43 this one is also from Doobus

Oney Plays brought me here

You gotta keep in mind that this was made 11 years ago. I don’t know that meta humor like that was really around back then. I really do think someone genuinely made this.

The fact that people are still talking about this video makes it even more hilarious.

I went to “Game Grumps likes videos” and found this. Danny confirmed as furry.

I don't think it's fake or a troll. In 2010 there wasn't self aware cringe comedy yet. The sonic fandom was still in it's own bubble and it wouldn't be largely made fun of for the cringey shit it did until a few years later.

If Chris Chan was good instead of evil

Regardless of whether this was a joke or not, crediting yourself with your full name at the end of the vid really took some courage

Who else is here to rewatch that masterpiece after Dunkeys parody?

this is the kid who sat next to the trash can during lunch

7:28 Who would've thought this video accurately predicted the Sonic The Movie aesthetic on that single frame. What a price to pay!

1:48 this sentence..had never been uttered until this moment

i had to pause the video to recover from the absurdity of "her 45 degree ponytail makes her look like a native american"

Flirt with any male, any time, any where but, oh how there is a price to pay.

This video was unironically so far ahead of it's time.

This needs to be preserved/archived in the US government

This video has started a huge drama

Three of the characters are summarized as “they don’t do much”

This is a very good parody of Dunkey "Top 10 Hottest Female Mario Characters" video.

This is like watching the top 10 hottest females from Mario video at videogamedunkey’s house

Why does he kinda sound like the narrator in the Sonic X English dub 😭

The delivery of the lines in this is a pitch perfect match to channels like WatchMojo. Only makes it more cursed

I’m laughing so hard, I come back on a whim only to see he’s changed the title to “cancer grumps” out of pure SALT lmao Also yes, “he knows how to HANDLE the FEMALES” is indeed the funniest thing ever.