Remember when Red XIII wore Shinra armor and walked around on 2 legs and the disguise totally worked?

Never has anything made me want to play FF7 more than Pat breaking down all the goofy, ill fitting bullshit that's in the game.

I want a Woolie vs FF7 with Pat now.

It's still not real to me until I see Cloud in a dress.

"What about Tifa? WHERE'S TIFA?" Obviously, they are saving the reveal of Tifa's glorious HD Beefers for E3, you fool.

Little bit of Crazy Talk happening in Pat's recollections of Final Fantasy 7, like Tifa can't be there to dote over Cloud's makeup because she's already at Don Corneo's Pleasure Palace when Cloud and Aerith hatch their scheme to break in and "save" her, but he's right, there's some seriously GOOFY shit in this game, like how're they gonna handle the climbing 50 flights of stairs gag? What about Cloud's CPR with like a six-year-old girl? Cloud failing HILARIOUSLY at walking, and drill and ceremony? Tifa and Scarlet's slap flight when Tifa SUPLEXES TANKCERETOPS MONSTERS RECREATIONALLY? How about that time we FOUGHT A HOUSE?! Also, Woolie, Squall wasn't cool either, in fact it's a plot point that Quistis takes the piss out of him at every opportunity when he tries to be darker and edgier than he actually is. He's a punkass teenager who literally thinks he's too cool for school.

Pat does bring up some real, questionable moments from the original FF7 lmao 1. 19:54 Aerith and Red XIII locked in Hojo's "breeding chamber" is real, it's implied by Hojo's dialogue that he wants them to mate to "continue their race". You can refer to a video on KZfaq called "Red XIII gets horny for Aeris " to see for yourself lmao 2. 21:25 The "Group Room" scene in the Honey Bee Inn, Pat activates his stand, Crazy Talk, take over a little but he's not wrong about it being awkward. The scene with the buff dudes involves Cloud taking a group bath with them as they wash and massage him, cleverly hidden away by the camera panning up lol and a scene in a room called the "&$#% Room" is where Cloud hears the voice in his head asking why's he's there and what he's even doping before blacking out and waking up with a buff dude on top of him. Refer to the videos "FFVII Honey Bee Inn - Group Room" and "&$#% Room - Final Fantasy VII Bonus Feature" to see for yourself lmao 3. 22:06 It's HEAVILY implied Tifa and Cloud banged on the cliff outside the Highwind if her affection level is over 50, there's more intimate dialogue between them and Tifa's "body language" is more embarrassed back on the Highwind compared to if her affection is below 50. Check the video "Under the Highwind - Both Versions" to see what I mean. 4. 22:36 Oh man, that scene. It was so zoomed out because Aerith and Cloud were trapped in a deep pit, but yeah he does just goes nuts and starts hitting her. The video "Final Fantasy VII - Cloud Being a Total Dick Part 3" has proof, evidence and receipts lmao

I agree with Pat all the way. FF7 Cloud was a posing wanna be tough guy Ex-SOLDIER. He literally threatened small children in the tutorial warehouse south of Seventh Heaven. I demand to hear Cid dropping uncensored F bombs at Shera over tea

I hope all the horrible shit Pat has reminded me stays the same. Just a huge spike of quality for the cutscenes

Best example of Cloud being a huge dork: his catchphrase is "let's mosey." And the party laughs at him every time.

Did you know that the Japanese version of FF7 has Barret talking more like Solid Snake than Mr. T? Tim Rogers has a great video series explaining most of the localization snafus in FF7. also Midgar is a giant reference to Domino's and Pizza Hut. I find that pretty hilarious.

Real talk though, I was wondering how they'd do Cloud, but listen to his reaction when Aeris offers the flower. He sounds genuinely curious. It's leaning towards OG Cloud, not AC Cloud As well as there being the possibility that those who believe in pure waifu Aeris have their views shattered at seeing her threaten to castrate Don Corneo

JUST PUSH ROPE CLOUD!

What cemented Cloud as a goof in my mind is what he said before heading to the last fight in the game. Let's mosey

Also, speaking of the Honey Bee Inn, you know who was responsible for that entire segment? Motomu Toriyama, Mr. "A-Rose-For-My-Waifu-Lightning" himself. Wild.

Cloud in drag should just replace his model with lightnings

Pat: *starts talking about dark FF sht* Notification: *SQUARE ENIX WOULD LIKE TO KNOW YOUR LOCATIION*

Not only do Cloud & tiffa have sex under the ship, when they get back and discover that everyone is there, she freaks out and asks "did everyone see?"

I'm surprised that some of the stuff they mentioned was actually in the game and not just silly nonsense Team Four Star made up for their Machinima series. Like Hojo at the beach.

Meanwhile, Kotaku did an article over Barrett's voice with a writer that never played it saying it was racist

I want to hope. I really want to hope that almost every absolutely weird thing that was in the original game will make it in, because all of that goofy characters and stuff to do is part of what gave the game it's overall charm.

Man the hot takes on this Remake are going to be delicious.

" remember that rpg for the children' ff7 was a very edgy t rated game.

Cracks me up the japanese players are all pissed Aerith doesn't look like a little girl in the remake.

They are still rendering Tifa's funbags, thats why she didn't appear.

Actually in FF7, Cloud's personality is muddled due to his original personality being mixed with Zack's memories. Once he goes through his trauma and recovers, he's actually just a good kid and a bit of a dork.

So what Pat is telling me is that OG Cloud is Joseph Joestar and Gyro from Steel Ball Run

Another reason why the main combat of 15 is based on holding the button is because the director admitted that hes not good at action games due to his age and crappier hands so he had them try to make the game accessible for that. And as a result compromised the combat of one of his biggest projects ever. Fucking hate that.

Oooooh... I completely forgot about Hojo. That's... that's gonna be a toughie, hoo boy.

i remember every single dumb thing pat mentioned. and ya know what? they all made sense in context. they Need to be maintained, as they were. and i don't know how the fuck they're gonna manage that one. 21:25 i never thought i'd say the sentence "the gangrape at the Bumble Bee Inn is Integral to the Story."

FF7 Cloud's the kind of man that would unironically say "let's mosey." Whoever they turned him into in and after Advent Children would never say something like that, and that's all you need to know about the difference.

Remember when Tifa escaped a gas chamber and then had a slap fight with Scarlet on top of a cannon?

As far as the lab scene with Aerith and Red... I think most likely they're gonna play it the same... just a bit different. Rather than insinuating that he'll have them procreate, Hojo will state that he's curious as to how 2 members of a near extinct race will behave towards one another, you know... for science!

I just want costumes, so I can have Cloud in drag the entire game.

Woolie, if you right click anywhere on a youtube video there is a "Loop" option now (Only posting this cause i noticed you starting the trailer over and over with the mouse). While I'm at it, for anyone else who cares cause I use these all the time. Keyboard shortcuts for youtube: J = back 10 seconds K = pause/play L = forward 10 seconds F = full screen toggle on/off Spacebar = pause/play . = move forward one frame , = move backward one frame Home = restart video End = skip to end of video (helpful to just go to the next vid on a playlist) Numpad keys 0-9 = skip to 0% - 90% through the video runtime. For some reason "1" doesn't work though. Not sure why.

ZANGANS SCHOOL OF FISTING

"And the Popeye arms are swingin'!" Might be the best thing I've ever heard out of Pat.

LET'S MOSEY!!!

I'm really happy that Pat remembered that Hojo wanted Red to breed with Aeris in that one scene.

I could listen to HOURS of Pat recounting the events of Final Fantasy VII as viewed through his warped, demented gremlin mind. Actual Game: Remember when Cloud and Tifa affirm their romantic feelings for each other on the eve of battle and have an implied intimate moment? Pat’s Mind: REMEMBER WHEN CLOUD AND TIFA HAD AN ON-SCREEN GREASY FUCK FEST WHERE THEY GET INTO SCAT AND MADE RED XIII WATCH!?!?

God, listening to the first five minutes of this video after the game’s release is so surreal in hindsight

They need to ignore everything from the expanded FF7 universe, no Soldier G, no Cisnnei, etc. Expand on what you have, but not into those directions.

Coming back here after the game comes out, and listening to them going "Nothing Major Will Be Added" [Crazy Talk] "YOU DON'T KNOOOOOOW!"

FF7 has a special place in my heart. My dad was an early adopter of pirating, and he came home one day with 4 discs labeled FF7. And 8 year old me booted it up a couple times and had no idea what I was doing; I never made it past the first fight. Such fond memories.

Looking back at this video. Theres a great deal that Pat actually gets wrong about what he remembers from ff7. The only thing he really remembers is cloud and tifa fucking and tifa getting embarrassed because everyone saw

"I think they're playing it safe on purpose" [CRAZY TALK] strikes again!

Every difficult problem pat mentions makes my jaw slack more and more as I try to smoke my stogie, drink, and laugh all in one.

We all know that before the video, pat walked in on Woolie with a belt tied round his arm so he wouldn't bleed out when he cut it off for his gun arm.

Everyone's waiting to see more of Tifa and Sephiroth while I'm just sitting here wondering what they're going to do with that Johnny NPC.

I mean ay, gotta stay faithful to the source material, thats all im sayin, its the only way, THE ONLY WAY.

Theirs so many things people forget about in FF7 remember when Cid hit Shera for stopping the Rocket from blasting off or the Tifa bitch slap fight

The should’ve had Big E voice Barret

I hear Pat talking about how good Crisis Cores gameplay is and i'm reminded of FF Type-0s combat, which is SUPER underrated. If you could tame the camera controls, it had a surprisingly fun combat system. Woolie would love Eight/Jack., especially Eights fighting game like move set and the ability to cancel pretty much everything into the dodge.

All I ever wanted was a Crisis Core LP

I wonder how Tifa will look in the remake.

The scene that has me scared that they're going to kill it is Cloud attacking Aerith outside Temple of the Ancients. That scene is a necessary tone setter at that point in the game. Sephiroth/Jenova is a heartless monster, and the helplessness of Cloud's spirit taking on a child form as his physical body relentlessly pummels her is horrifying and intended to be incredibly dark regardless of the goofy character models. The Nanaki/Aerith scene doesn't need to be changed. Nothing actually happens, when you think about it. Nanaki just stands there growling while Aerith beats on the glass and Hojo rants like a crazy person. You could just throw in a close-up of Nanaki winking to tip her off and leave the rest of it untouched. Honeybee Inn is a hard one, because people (North Americans) are going to be offended no matter what you do with that. Just don't have any dialogue in the scene at all. Just have the guys come into the room without saying anything, fade to black, then cut to Cloud walking out with the item and say that he doesn't want to talk about it.

Christ does this game worry me now that i hear Pat go crazy down ff7 memory lane. Hojo smacking that patrons buttcheeks demanding for more liquor alone is a field day for kotaku to write about how sexiest this nearly 20 year old game that _said video game website as begged for a remake_ Square enix has so much weight right now and I really hope they don't die from the pressure.

Everyone talking about Cloud in a dress, but I'm waiting to see if Cloud actually *speaks* the line in which he fucking *squawks* at the choccobos. - Awsm Chimera

Never played ff7 but after hearing Pat freak out about specific scenes I need this game to come out

I think a good way of adding Yuffie in "disc/part 2" would be npc dialogue in the open world around Junon. For example a shop owner exclaims that he's missing materia, or a traveler got ambushed and his belongings were still on him (because he didn't have any materia etc) then side quest pops up. For Vincent, I would just expand the lower levels of the Shrina Mansion and when people farming in the Shrina mansion, find Vincent's room in one of the lowest levels, along with Hojo experiment reports lying around.

I don't care, give me Chadwick Boseman as a samurai holy shit that sounds rad,

The scene Pat describes at 19:47 has already been retconned in the more recent English language versions of the game. Hojo now explains his plan is to "draw out her latent Ancient powers" through making her fight Red XIII. In the most recently released Japanese language version it is still the original text, however.

if the ff7 remake is to ff7 what the RE2 Remake was to RE2, i'll be happy.,

I have money on them changing what Tifa looks like. That’s why we haven’t seen her at all.

you hear palmar when you go to the rocket when shinra is using it to destroy meteor. after that you never see palmarr again.

They show a few scenes: there's the sector 8 reactor, and I see Aps show up as well, which is the boss fight after getting dropped in the sewer by Don Corneo.

OH god, I gotta catch Pat's stream when he gets through this after THAT.

I could see them stitching them, like Evolution Worlds did for the two Dreamcast titles into one GC game. They cut quite a bit of content but it at least is one seamless experience.

Cloud needs to be in a hot tub with a bunch if burly men talking about manly things.

Have Red chase her around in a circle with 'Spin me Right Round' playing. Original version, just like in MGS5, because why the fuck not? Or alternatively, have Hojo blast 'Stuck in the Middle with You' or 'Hip to be Square' while he dances to it. Because if we are gonna have Hojo act like a Cartoon Villain, we might as well go full insane. Pat and Woolie you NEED to Do an LP of this game together. I'd like to see some extra new stuff, like maybe even a new party member personally. I think all RPG Remakes should add new party members.

I'm not sure why, but I'm in the habit of deleting the podcast mp3s once I've finished listening, but I save these video clip segments to rewatch later. Weird, I know, but for some reason, it just appeals to me more to save video podcast segments than keep full audio casts.

Remember that time Sephiroth lusted after his mom-rock?

>Tifa and Cloud sitting outside next to an airship at the end of disc 2 >Pat: REMEMBER HOW THEY WERE FUCKING LIKE RABBBBIIITSSSS?????

He one thing I hope they take from ‘The Compilation’ is adding maybe one more scene with Zack. That’s all I’d really add to the main game to be honest. OH and Reno and Rude being confirmed to actually be invincible, go watch Advent Children Complete’s highway chase and tell me how they didn’t die 8 times AT LEAST, that’s some Looney Tunes stuff. Oh and they have to keep “This Guy Are Sick.” Thats mandatory.

I can't wait to finally hear how Dyne is pronounced.

Thanks for revealing crazy ff7 shit to me

Didn't realize that Tifa and Cloud actually did the do. Tbh I've never played ff7, everything I know comes from other people and I guess, unfortunately, advent children and kh1-2. I knew Tifa was searching for cloud but I never knew she actually got with him

This remake is probably going to be the biggest video game related thing in my life. If it sucks, I don't really think I'll survive the heartbreak.

Get ready for emo cloud.

I REALLY hope Cloud is spot-on in FF VII R, I'm with Pat.

I want to know if they are going to implement the cut content that would let you bring Aerith back.

Does anybody know what was the pic that Pat sent to Woolie during the podcast?

What are the "universally hated" stuff that got added into Crisis Core and Dirge of Cerberus that Pat talked about?

My experience with Final Fantasy 7 is limited to TeamFourStar's FF7 Machin-Abridged.

OK, I wanna say that some of those more grim moments could still work. Cloud punches Aeris? Nah, he just pushes her away and starts swinging his arms around until two other party members grab his arms and restrain him. Donzo. Can't think of the others though.

2:25 I just imagine the game theory video already...

Square better not pussy out and tone down all of those things, that shit elevates the game.

her name was meant to sound earth. it a thematic thing, bad man is literally attacking the earth

I really need to play the original. I was a scaredy baby back in the day, so all I ever did was a demo of the first section that came with my copy of Tobal No 1, and play at the Golden Saucer on my older brother's file. I thought Aeris was the coolest cos she could summon Leviathan in the demo and I thought she actually transformed into a water dragon. Later on I was watching my brother play and asked him where she was, and he causally spoiled her death for me. So my nostalgia of the game is kinda messed up.

i faintly remember the date on the train and yuffie clearly kissing cloud

Guys remember there was Dirge of Cerberus too. They were all in that. Hojo is a freak 😆 back then people didnt play with the opt chars???? That sucks.

ProJared loosing 100,000 subs 24 hr what happened? did I miss category 5 hurricane.

I feel like whats happened to Cloud is pretty similar to Samus Aran. The way shes portrayed specifically is set in stone for Nintendo these days, dead eyes, very serious, stoic personality. And the origin of that portrayal of Samus is from fucking Other M. OTHER M. So many people know her from Smash exclusively, so they all know Other M Samus Aran EXCLUSIVELY.

15:00 that part where you meet Marle is absolutely bizarre. Cloud speaks in the most neutral tone possible, just saying “yeah ok” and stuff, And somehow tifa manages to go “be niceeeeee” as though he was somehow rude

To please everyone they need to implement a Cloud character creator. With voice options like classic, kingdom and advent.

It takes time for Tifa's chest beefing.

Do you know why Cloud was mopey in Advent Children? BECAUSE HE WAS DYING. He had the Geostigma.

So yeah, we’re gonna need a Woolie Vs. Do the PS4 version and don’t be afraid to use the in-built cheats to skip grinding. Focus on the story instead of gameplay which gets broken the moment you start throwing out 8x Knights of the Round etc.

Shame it'll never come out, though

Just playing FFVII for the first time (never had a Sony console) and yeah. It's wacky indeed