Did they not see the "do not step on grass" sign?

What about the "do not step on dirt" sign?

Apologies, I just remembered the giant "Don't." Signs plastered everywhere.

@@GrenzRell What about the "Do or Do not, you still will die" signs

@@alect525 "Do not enter, we won't punish you if you do because if you survive that'll be enough punishment in itself."

I am convinced that unless the planet was caught as collateral damage in some mass disaster, Catachan may well be the last planet in the imperium to fall to its enemies… If only because nobody in their right mind would DARE attack the planet unless either death wishes are involved, the attacking party is woefully overconfident and underwhelmed with the planets dread reputation, or they managed to accumulate a crusade enough that would be able to casually topple terra overnight anyway.

No. Tyranids look at Catachan like Johnny Bravo looks at women. Tyranids all up on it only for Catachan to spray it with mace and beat their ass.

Half the planet is literally a Tyranid

​@@Kenj1090 what about half the plant life literally being a tyranid that produces spores because of course it doea

@@ButFirstHeLitItOnFire "In the 60th millenia, the galaxy has grown cold, the armies of forces unknowable walk the galaxy, the horrors crush the minds of any who yet still live... Except on Catachan, because Catachan ate everyone who showed up and the Catachan inhabitants are too thick headed to be broken by eldritch abominations."

Chad's The whole lot

Catachan’s scratching their head confused. “Gonna be honest, we never saw em. Like we saw the ships appear in orbit, but their men never made it out of the forest after making planet fall.”

@@khairallahdh "Well, one pack of dropships landed in the 'pede swamp. No need to worry about them." (Catachan Burrowing Centipedes are apparently a thing in-lore... I am just assuming it's like the one in Mechwarrior Online that can eat a Battlemech as they are apparently an Apex Predator of the planet...)

@@theghostinthemachine think in lore the apex predator is the catachan devil. A giant centipede the size of a train and just as long. Definitely able to bring down a Knight, maaaybe a war hound titan if it managed to get close before the war hound hammered it with its ranged weaponry. Can’t pilot titans on catachan though, forest is too big.

@@khairallahdh a Knight is about the right size, and yeah that's what I was thinking of. A centipede the size of a freight train that tears through 'Mech scale armor, and has fangs larger then the bodies of most infantry. I just remembered they burrow, and are giant centipedes. Makes sense- Centipedes are great diggers in swampy, damp terrain... Also great for their rush-down attacks.

Catachan: get of my lawn. Chaos: or what? Catachan: No I'm literally warning you for your safety, get off it.

*teenager finished peeing on someone's lawn* "Hey, get off my property!" "What are you gonna do about it?" "I'm gonna move you *the fuck* down." "Oh yeah? With what?" *lawnmower going 300 mph on a teenager* "OOAAAAOA-"

Catachan is buff australia

@@denizciftci4720 But just like Catachan Australia is not real.

Get of the lawn or the lawn will get you

"Pansy ass traitors and daemons, couldn't even handle a flower." - Catachan who just got home

When you don't lock your house before leaving because you're safer outside

They forgot their planet have the real local people

Chaos tower defence

It’s absolutely fucking wild that their full force is only 60 million considering how many billions the forces of humanity deploy.

And by the way, it's a legit strategy to seriously fk up khornite invasion Or any chaos invasion if you think about it...

“GLORY FOR THE FIRST MAN TO DIE!” Dkk: *happy gas mask noises*

Commissar "By the Emperor! Who sent the Nippon Reinforcements again!"

Emperor: Guess nobody ever heard the term "RETREAT" in this army...

@@white0thunderwhite0thunder71 commissar: *Blams the Emperor* HERESY!

Nice tts ref

Actually, Catachan Barking Toads are a real 40k creature, and TTS didn’t actually exaggerate the dangers of these toads at all

having not watched tts I thought Lord Kroak popped into 40k for a second

lucious: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOP

@@Kieferson1 NO BOOPING!

In Cadia, you fight Cadians. In Soviet Catachan, planet fights you

In cadia, you fight cadians In Soviet catachan, catchan fights you

On Cadia, you fight the Cadians On Catachan, the planet EATS you

@@BlackWolf-bu5dt that definitely sums it up i would rather see a tyrranid the size of Godzilla than go to catachan

@@dennislemasters4339yeah lets be honest, you probably have a better chance of surviving with an entire hive fleet of nids than you do being plopped down on that dammed rock

It’s also the frogs and mosquitoes that are in those bushes.

It's fun and games until the bushes start speaking low gothic.

​@@Blaze_RavenXD

@@Blaze_Raven There is Catachan flora that can speak human languages?

@@opusmagnus26yes, it employs the aid of the local catachan fighter hiding inside it to speak its intent

Except for the Krieg and Valhallans.

@@Peter_Turbo4 *Makes a so-so gesture*

Everyone knows Catachan… no one questions how bad it is when joining the Imperial Guard is a preferable alternative.

@@Peter_Turbo4 kreigs don't need to say it, them being there says it all.

@@Peter_Turbo4 krieg is just death. Catachan is nightmare fuel.

Catachans are just space Ausies, you don't know how do they manage to survive... for them it is just another friday

Because they Are part of the planet. Just roided up apes swinging large knives that they made lmao

@@Karti200 Live ...uummhh finds a way

​@@Karti200 dont forget that private of catachan is a fcking rambo

​@@Karti200is argue just another Saturday

It's small and only appears in like 1-2 scenes but I just love it when people pay attention to small things

why are they purple

Do all Cadians have purple eyes?

@@Noorthia The proximity of Cadia to the eye of terror, so basically all their people are affected by the warp albeit in the benign way, which shows in their eyes being purple.

@@Noorthia Warp taint. They are all mutated.

Taco Tuesday, don't you know?

For Catachan it was a vacation

No no, it was a lazy Sunday

Sounds like a great place for Orks to invade.

@@fumarc4501 why do i see they all got eaten and quit bc kill camping

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD... .... ... OH SHIT THIS IS CATACHAN! GET ME OFF THIS PLANET!

@@GUMMRUCHK how bad could it be

@@ricefarmer-kr4yv very bad. If the wildlife doesn’t kill you, then the *other* life will… I know what I said.

Boop in the snoot!

​@@FifingFossil don't boop the snoot

@@nathanmartinez4718 Booooooooooooooop!

​@@FifingFossil prolonged bird noises

🐸💥

They did lift a finger, they to were to busy surviving, when they saw a 50 foot tall daemon they were just like "OMFE I thought it was the frog, man this will be so much easier"

​@@Fourtytwo4242The frog kills everything within kilometers of it. No wonder catachans are not afraid of building sized demons.

Guilliman rolls up. “We’re here to save you from the daemons and heretics” Is confused as the catachans aren’t sure what he’s referring too. “I mean some ships showed up in orbit for a minute but they left soon after. Never saw the blokes they landed on the planet though.”

Yep they just ran into the jungles and did gorilla tactics on the Deamons as all the human cultists dies in the first few days

If I remember correctly one time they literally all left the planet one time and returned to find that despite being undefended the natural wildlife had apparently entirely game ended a world eater invasion

Though it’s HIGHLY inaccurate.

​@@mapleflag6518 dude did not get the humour of the video 😂

@@acevergel1999 My dude, 40k memes are often presented as fact.

@@mapleflag6518 or maybe people Get interested to it and Become Curious about it. So they Research and Find out the whole story.

​​​@@mapleflag6518dude, as an imperial guard fan, I can tell you it was VERY accurate. The Cadians made a good account of themselves but they were by no means invincible. They fight and killed swathes of Chaos forces as they were in turn slaughtered en masse themselves due to the simply nature of the fighting. I think that was represented very well in the video, with both sides killing plenty of the other.

You meant how to describe battle of vraks

​@@FifingFossilnah, that was mostly human traitors, daemonic incursions only really started to pop en masse right at the end

@@kostakatsoulis2922 Exactly

And only 1% of the sky is actually visible, the other 9% are aircraft

UhM AcKTuAcKlEaY 50% iS aRtiLlErY 30% Is aIRcRAfT aNd ThE rEsT iS wArP PoRtAlS☝️🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓

Boys wanted to have some fun. And watching the show was more entertaining then hunting that pitiful pray.

The boys stationed there were too busy fighting the more immediate threat of the local wildlife. A far more pressing concern then an invasion by the forces of hell

There was once an actual invasion by chaos forces of Khorne which was later defeated by the planet wildlife itself.

He probably did eat it all things considered

That's a Catachan delicacy right there

*Holds a 8/10 sighn up with mechadentrites while making a chefs kiss gesture*

Probably a face eater leaf that or a brain leaf

@@jamesfreeman3617 Face eater

Catachan jungle: The chaos broke before we could break them up and make them food.

lol

"Imma cook this sh*t later" - Catachan soldier

Chadachan casually one-shots one of the things currently ripping Traitor Marines into bite-sized pieces a few meters away. And then probably eats it as the Catachan equivalent of popcorn while continuing to point and laugh at the heretics.

Abaddon: *Extermiantus the planet! Prepare the stolen Cyclonic torpedoes!* (10 minutes later, the cyclonic torpedoes just made the planet the perfect greenhouse+terrarium for the wildlife and fauna there... making them flourish even more) Abaddon: (why are we here... just to suffer?)

I think in reality Guillman heard that and just went there to see the carnage and drink some beers

This is why the only time my marines don't wear helmets is when I'm literally out of helmets putting them together. So as you said :We don't get shit on.

Not wearing a helmet on a planet where leaves will fall on your face, take over your mind, and use your body to spread its spores like some sort of even more fucked up Last of Us cordyceps. Probably not wise.

@@Nostroman_Praetor based helmeted Space Marine player

Another time they introduced a daemon prince to the catachan devil. the prince got fucking bulldozed and eaten by it

It reminds me of tts

@@Oppen1945 oh the edge, also the dodge pfp, of course its cringe for you high and mighty

@@Oppen1945 Gaylogamer? 2007 even ? goddamn son how is Infinite doing for you ? its shit isnt it

@@alexanderp8882 Without the rampant degeneracy of the creators.

@@Sujad Looking at Slannesh, The Drukhari, and whatever the hell the fetish gear the Custodes are wearing (Though I am being told they only wore in Rouge Trader) I'd say the degeneracy is canon. I mean have you even read Inquisitor? It's the First 40k Novel and is full of smut.

ty for the kool little fun fact yo

Catachan is instinct and biochemistry: void of emotion or justification. It is a series of processes and lock and key biochemical instances that work in tandem, devoid of anything resembling a soul. It does not wish or desire beyond that which it requires: health and the like. When a Catachan creature or plant eats you, it is merely a matter of course. So of course a higher psyche would not be able to comprehend an area where the creatures and plants just don't care enough beyond what you are. Tyranids have some measure of sentience and purpose: Catachan is really just flora and fauna at their most basic and primal.

No longer content with just waiting for chaos to come to them, The wildlife would eventually go into the eye to terrorize them.

@@sneedfeedandseed2410 hahah i can imagine a battleship filled with plants-insects whose sole purpose is breaking chaos apart and making their gods facepalm at how bad is chaos forces at eating their vegetables

no the plants would get warp mutated and the new chaos god of vegetables would be born

Abaddon pussies out and drops the Blackstone Fortress on Catachan Only for a giant worm to emerge from a giant pit, slam into the Blackstone and push it back into orbit while gnawing at it

Them mfs would mutate because of the warp and then give the daemons ptsd

Nah nah it's space nam, mixed with Australia

Green Hellworld

That Vietnam + Australia + Amazon

Catachan is diet Australia. I bet I could survive longer on Catachan than Australia.

Ah yes, the green hell zone.

Imperial J Office: “What do you mean “the spiders fly”?!

Australia doesn't get enough credit. They ficking held the line in the south pacific while the US was getting its war economy online, they fought the Japanese to a standstill on Papua New Guinea and then with a little US help pushed them off the whole island.

I wish We had more movies/series featuring other Allies than the U.S and British forces to highlight the valor of other nations. Don’t get me wrong, the U.S and British did a damn mighty job but they tend to get the spotlight the most.

@@jakobtarrasericsson4295 i mean I think there are actually a lot of movies about the minor allies if you go looking. I know of at least one covering the Kokoda track campaign, there's one on Narvik starring the Norwegians, there's also a shit-ton of Soviet ones, and probably a bunch more.

They found out about the emus

Guilliman's Crusade didn't *finish the job* on Catachan, his fleet engaged the half of the traitor fleet that managed to get away from the planet in space. When he finally reached the planet, the wildlife not only killed the invading chaos fleet, but was in the process of tearing apart the ships.

@@Numbers1516 bro that's more wild that i even remembered

Good thing Ol Abby was fresh out of Blackstone Fortresses to rage quit the game with.

I can't tell who is more of a trumped up plot baby, Guilliman or Abbadon.

@@ephemispriest8069 Abby easy. The dudes failed 13 times but still lingering around

Ate a Bloodthirster: Kinda spicy, but not really... Ate an Unclean one: Blegh... Could have been worse tho... Ate a blue mollusk chicken: Friday already? Ate purple tentacle: Slimy... But satisfyingly disgusting...

Chaos can't invade Cadia, because Cadia is no longer their as it split in half, the planet broke before the guard did!. lol

@@leekent3587 oof…

​@@leekent3587 as of war of the spider, the Cadians are still defending it's pieces

@@essexclass8168 Cadian: "The planet is breaking apart, but there's still chaos here." *Puts on helmet* "Guess we're void born regiments now!"

​@@nonya1366 I can perfectly see Cadian regiments being born and made in the shattered remnants of their homeworld, having lasting so long that they actually manated to have kids. It would be like an asteroid field of Rocks kind of like Craftworlds, and I want to see the divergent cultures as chunks get separated more and more from the original location.

They are the size of trains

Hierophant: am I a joke to you?

​@@AverageNecronEnthusiast Catachan: Yes.

​@@AverageNecronEnthusiasttyrannids got felted after invading catachan.

​@@AverageNecronEnthusiasttrust me Everything in Catachan is basically a Full Yujiro Hanma of The Apex Predators. The Climate, The Dirt, The Seeds, a Freaking Pineapple is one of The worst things You can found in this monstruosity of Planet You enter Catachan. You don't exit Catachan That's The Rule

“It is the BAAANEBLAAADE!!!”

CREEEEED!

That must have been one big ass bush.

From what I read, those ones that Gulliman's forces destroyed were the few remnants that managed to get off Catachan. By the time they arrived, they found that the Catachan Wildlife were _eating_ the Chaos ships that failed to get away in time!

@@Victor-056 Catachan wildlife: "The warp taint really adds to the flavour."

Well, there -is- chaos spawn who can survive without oxygen, gravity, bones, flesh, blood, or having what many consider a brain. They still get violently murdered by the locals on the surface. Because their hungry and krieg won't let them inside.

Y si sobrevive descubrira que no es el caos invadiendo kriegs, es el kriegs invadiendo kriegs mientras los demonios se aterran ante seres con un 0% de deseos de sobrevivir

I just realized that if Abbadon tried the same stunt he pulled with Cadia, he would likely end up getting his Ship eaten by the planet. ...Yes, I said what I said.

A catachan telling you to go touch grass is their way of saying that you should go off yourself.

On Catachan you fear the vegan guy.

Guilliman: “has that hole always been there and so big?”

The Hole: *_*thumming sound even more unholy than the Warp*_*

"oh my god what is that?"

@@blackmesaenjoyer It's a hole.

As the Catachan wildlife retreated from the chaos forces, assuming that had won, they Then hear in the distance: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

@@ghostofrandom the only thing they fear... *IS HIM*

Sly Marbo was actually there. However, like his brethren, he too knew a live-action comedy was in-bound so him simply stood there very still in ground zero so he had premium seat for the whole show.

When Sly Marbo went off Catachan, the Planet was not a death world anymore

@@giovannicostantini1637 bro

Best part is that the original colonists were from a colony ship that crashed into the planet and when the Imperium found them instead of mass migrating off the planet they were like "Nah we're good". Also a not so fun fact is that its thought the reason the planet was like that in the first place was because a single Tyranid spore landed on the planet and said planet reacted very very aggressively to it.

@@dragonace119 oh I knew tyranids had to be involved in this mess

@@Shrek40K no, it got eaten alive by the planet

@@Shrek40K Yep, believe there's also a few lifeforms that are basically Tyranid lifeforms gone feral.

@@soliar5209 lol

You forgot Australia.

@@MrGoatFish10 Ah yes, Australia too.

​@@harmacist6623 Australia is the pie crust.

don't forget africa like salt

Abbadon was actually losing pretty bad

They didn’t even take it, they just raged and shattered it.

The Na'vi would swiftly become the Na'vn't

relevant video kzfaq.info/get/bejne/d7OVdNaXuNyziHU.html

I hate to agree with you since I love space wolves. But if the dark eldar can go on safari, on fenris. Then clearly it is nowhere near as deadly as catchan.

And then _at latest_ one hour later the vegetation is back to reclaiming everything - and it's VERY hungry.

@@SockieTheSockPuppet There are plants they are actually pretty good against fire, highly doubt fire bombing the planet would actually do much besides piss it off (the planet it self can actually be alive, it mostly a eldar thing but it can happen)

​@@SockieTheSockPuppet Tau: - viendo a alguien de catachan - bueno opción dos - saca un machete, se pone pantalones negros, camisa blanca, tatua el hombro y fuma un cigarro -

I think the issue with that is you assume they can destroy the planet by firebombing, they'll probably piss off a plant and it will catch a second firebomb midway through before hurling it back at the ship, and then the Tau just say "Oh fuck that" and flee.