Thank you for making this content. I have mediation tomorrow. It’s a scary process. I think I have confidence in my Lawyer but I wish he communicated as you both do. You guys help me understand and feel a little bit empowered, so to speak. Four years ago you made this. Thank you. I wanted to let you know your video made a difference for me. Helps me tomorrow. ~

Thank you! Very helpful video for us good father's out there that don't know how to go about all the court stuff

Such a positive take on the matter, brings me hope with my case. Thanks guys

We're actually only in mediation because the law tells us we have to. We aren't there to be flexible. It helps to act in good faith and to have an open mindset, but you don't have to be flexible if you don't want to. Just be open to things and have pre determined things you're willing to compromise on, and things you aren't, and stick to it.

Thank you so much! I have mediation today in about an hour and a half. I love your perspective! I feel so much more relaxed about it now. 🙏

I absolutely love this. They brought so much attention to facts that I had not thought about. I would love to sit in with this man. Great info.. Thank you very much

Absolutely wonderful information! I go to child custody mediation tomorrow in Colorado. I am so ready to make an ideal plan for myself and my family!

This video took a lot of stress off of me because you make it seem like a beautiful thing rather then how I was looking at it. I go next week.

This video gave me a great outlook on my upcoming mediation session. Thank you so much for posting it.

Thanks for all the videos. Always good to come here for the basics and to understand what Ill need to prepare.

Very nice. I love his spirit in approaching it.

There are people you can not mediate with . Not here to burst any bubbles but people who are borderline , narcissists or have a form of psychopathy can not be reasoned with . Mediation becomes a tool for manipulation . I tried that in the past , what did it get me nothing but court trips and even today another court trip because even in mediation before court EVERY part broken before the ink was even dry . Point blank I found mediation in my case to be a waste of time , when only one party thinks it applies to them it will never work you mine as well be talking to a chalk board expecting it to say something .

This is by far the most informative clip out there for mediation preparation and what to expect and practical solutions and advice

thank you for your tips. I appreciate your experience & input

Thank you. This is so positive. Different from the norm of fights and tears. 😇

This was amazing. Thank you!

Thanks for this video. It makes me see mediation alot differently.

Clear and concise. This helped

i like this guys energy.😃

Thank you, this has helped me so much🙏

Mediation is effective for “warring” but not abusive parents … but is ineffectual when one parent abuses the other and or their child(ren)

Narcopaths don't mediate. Thanks for the info.

Thank you I really needed to hear this after having regrets for the agreement I came to at mediation. Feeling hurt.

Thank you!

Custody mediation is usually where a third party helps the two parents work out what is best for the kids first in a non-adversarial setting. The particular approach used by the mediator is highly dependent on the individual mediator. Some see each party individually; some start off seeing both parties together right from beginning, trying to do everything in one session. For the latter, send in the chronology ahead of time and ask that they read it before the session is a good step. Go in with the attitude that the mediator will be fair and you are just trying to help the process along by providing information. Trust and credibility is generated by honesty and openness. Yes, its hard to trust someone to come to the right conclusions about how to run your and your family’s life. There is clear research that children do better with frequent contact with both parents and with cooperative flexible parents. The more you and ex- can work out re custody and visitation ahead of time, the better. Maybe alternate days for toddlers and preschoolers, maybe split week for middle elementary, alternate weeks for early teenagers. Maybe split summer vacations, Christmas and Easter vacations, or alternate years. Think outside the box. The best arrangement that I have heard about is where the kids inherited the home, and the parents switched between the home and a nearby apartment every couple of months. Always have a couple of requests in your pocket for when the ex- wants something extra or special. Getting into an argument with mediator is a sure looser. Also absolutely avoid criticizing the ex-. If the ex- starts exaggerating or making things up, a low key “That is not true.” is usually sufficient, let the mediator follow up if they want. Avoid getting into a he said/she said argument. Focus on what is best for your child/children, usually called best interest of the child (BIOC). Talk about your role in the kid’s lives, Most mediators are reasonably fair. Women generally have an advantage here with their sharing and rapour skills than males tendency to always compete. Kids can benefit from seeing both skill sets. Kids clearly benefit from having extensive contact with both parents except in gross abuse situations. The best mediation structure I have heard about is two mediators, one is a lawyer and the other is a psychotherapist, one is male and the other is female, so all bases are covered Mediators will typically meet with the judge before the court hearing and judges typically follow mediator recommendations. Years ago, I helped a fellow with an extremely messy and dirty multi-year impossible custody case---even his sister was against him. We realized that the mediator was friendly and personable, but relatively gutless. We arranged for him to get in a couple minutes early. He set the chairs up so he and his ex were facing each other, and the mediator was off to the side. We worked out a string of questions that would elicit yes answers. “You want what is best for our child, don’t you? You know she loves both of us. You know that children do better when they have frequent contact with both parents? You know our daughter would love to have two Christmases and two birthdays on those days? In one hour, they worked out a joint custody arrangement that operated trouble free for over a dozen years.

I like the idea of a split week and every other weekend to the 50/50 custody. Please do a video and talk on dealing with selfish drug addicted parents who have the custody of the child and how the other parent can file to get the child back to the noncustodial parents

OMG THIS IS SOOO GOOOD!!

I had a straight fair 50/50 down to the hour. For the last 17 years with my daughter.

Great video. I appreciate your advice . Would you please consider a detailed fallow-up video. Maybe some guidance on the topic of conflict of interest and mediation !!! ❤️

Thank you

He can lie if he wants. I have to stay true to myself my child and my childs best interest. If the other party disagrees.. I hope the mediator can see through the bs the other party comes up with and sticks to the facts. I like to think im reasonable.. And honestly have over extended myself. But its for my child so 🤷 ill die trying. Straight up.

My God .....I feel so happy now.......and I dont even have any kids

thank you !!!!

How do you deal with a narcissist? How do you get a narcissist to work with the other parent? I also think it is just awful for the children to be shuffled every few days from here to there.

Mediations haven't worked for my daughter and granddaughter. Grand daughter is non verbal with many medical needs. It's never been addressed in mediation. He wrote agreements and has in fact modified those agreements via notorized statement signed by both parties that now lead him to believe he shouldn't have to pay as much child support. He allows his daughters medical bills to go to collections to not pay until he has to or makes my daughter have to pay to seek treatment for her daughter. Sabatoging medical treatment based on Mom's ability to pay something on the bill he didn't pay.

Dear god, please forgive me for i used to sin when I was younger and now that im older its getting brought up. I recently had a baby and so they are trying to take my baby and bringing my past up. I am a changed woman and im trying to show it. God please help me convince these people that I have changed in the name of Jesus amen

I find that this attitude that we are all the same is why the courts and solicitors do not get that the other parent is willing to do anything and everything for you not to have contact. At my mediation, ex wife said that I had abused the children. Mediation over. I was not told until later, and was interview by social services. Strangely SS although asked me to leave home then let me see them unsupervised. All allegations stopped after leaving the home to deprive me of it. I now own half anyway so it did not work.

I’m going to a mediation class in a few hours and I’m sooo nervous :( I hope this helps my situation

I do have mediation on Monday. Im want to move to another state.. My daugther is 13 years old she refuse to see her dad Because He wants to control over her.. I always encourage to see him . I dont know until what point .Im doing rigth

I wish I could've done it unfortunately too high conflict I truly couldn't going to trial any tips for going. I'm trying to focus on Christmas and my kids and move forward I guess after this. I wish I could've done it wasn't an alternative was bullied and intimidated. It only works if you're amicable not in my case if it works for others go for it.

Sounds good🤔

What should I do if the coparent has a history of drug and alcohol usage? How do I express my concerns about that, and how would that influence mediation?

I like your tie, Sid.

how do we discern finding creative solutions from giving opinions and being seemingly evaluating rather than mediating?

Can someone answer me please. I have child visitation hearing on October 19. I never replied to the FL 320 form. We had mediation and got a parenting plan written up. Do I still need to reply with the FL 320 form? I'm so confused.

Is this a viable option when abuse toward the child is on the table? I would think in that case a whole different process is necessary. This is what I'm dealing with now and I wonder how mediation is called for when the other parent is being investigated by police and cps for terrible abuse charges and there is video to prove the accusations. I already have sole custody but I feel even stricter measures need to be taken to prevent further abuse.

dude on the right looks like he's about to start crying

What about if the two parents had remorse about their break up and wanted to decide to get back together? is there a point in mediation where we can tell each other how much we really care and want to work things out?

I’ve tried mediation. I did everything by the books. Our mediator even recommended and noted why she doesn’t see why I can’t get 50/50 physical custody in our case. Judge still said no. Why is that???

ummm... what does the "switch off" mean for the Friday Saturday Sunday?

I couldn't go to meditation if you're amicable then It's for you it was never in my case unfortunately

Usually one of the last parts of the process where you willingly give up thousands before the end where corrupt family court judge rakes you over the coals and robs the children of a father

If you have two people who can actually mediate, it’s great. But if one is just bent on revenge, it doesn’t work. Good points absolutely but not my son’s situation. It’s very sad.

I don't want to ask you , but I respect your decision. How does someone report a conflict of interest in Mediation ?

Apparently Sids office has trouble answering phone calls in his Provo Utah office 😤

Just filled a custody case for my son I’m just looking for weekends or more days I’m scared that the mother might take this the wrong way and things will get ugly

Mediation is useless if a narcissist is on the other side

I believe that you are forgetting to discuss the legal elements of Joint Legal and Joint Physical Custody. These are extremely important issues in the legal system and once either side surrenders it is next to impossible to get back. Sadly your videos miss alot of the injustice being done in the courts especially when dealing with mental health.

What about if the father is abusive,neglectedful and never help with the child n my child has medical needs which he does not attempt to what recomendations for mediation do you have?

My daughters father had not been part of her life for 3 years and suddenly he takes me to the family advocate wanting 50% rights of the child.. What do i do regarding this? As i am not prepared to share full rights with him for obvious reasons however, i am willing to share responsibilities with him. Please assist.

My problem is that I'm in conjugal abuse It's unsafe for me I can't go to meditation because of severity of the abuse. I have been threatened and the children, my ex has lied in court I'm up against a narrastist It's very difficult. Hasn't paid child support nothing. If your in conjugal abuse it isn't safe in my case I have to go to trial and I have to let the court decide because there's abuse towards the kids and phyiolocial towards me unfortunately and a restraining order. I have proof the court hasn't seen the proof I have yet.

can you talk to others about what happened during your mediation hearing? or can you get in trouble?

That only works when child not in school it called 5-2-2-5 schedule

How do you get 50/50 if one decides to move out of state 1 hr and 30 minutes away from their children?

Should our lawyers be present at custody mediation?

I'm in Japan. My wife (Canadian)abducted my three kids,twin boys 5 years,daughter 9 years in April 2018.I've NOT been with my children since.I just got mediation papers in the post two weeks ago.From what I understand the Japanese family courts will give my wife full custody for the best interests of the children,and law experts said I will NEVER have rights to see the Kids again. Please!! What can I do?

What are the interstate laws? Can the dad take a 9 months old to a different state for the entire summer without the mom?? If not, what is the appropriate age for that? He is a drug addict and an alcoholic, I’m terrified to let my baby go there!!

I have no good communication with my child’s father. It is been stressful because his new wife and him take decisions without consulting me such getting her a phone, ear piercings etc they don’t ask me what I think or my opinion. We have 50 50 custody and is been very hard to communicate with my daughter during my time away from her. I’m thinking about mediation to see if it helps. I also believe that counseling would be very helpful.

I know your both very nice people and have super positive intent but seriously in the real world when you think the same as you guys do against a crazy phsyco who uses your child as a physical shield I dont think meditation works. Tried it and tired of trying with a no go

If, if was a fith we would all be drunk. Just keep moving forward,stop looking In the past. I just got a paper from my wife, signed by a judge and and a lawyer. With nothing but lies pretty much, how can they do that with no prof

How do you reconcile "best interest" of the children when scientifically 50/50 has been studied and published to be the most beneficial to the children second only to an intact household

There is no agreement. You go to trial if parents can't agree. If you end up in mediation it's cause the court doesn't want to deal with you. When they do, it's never in the favor of the responsible parent. FYI

What about when you have to mediate with a narcissist?

What about when he’s an abuser I have a restraining order for domestic violence vs his dad and he is asking for shared custody because he doesn’t wanna pay child support and always talked bad mouth to our child so that’s why I will ask for sole child custody wonder how this will go:

I wish It's not my reality high conflict divorce this probably not the right video for me.

Is it same in England please

What if the case boils down to an abusive, bruise beating mother. It is difficult to want the boys visit her.

“You’re never ever going to get 50/50. We’re looking for what’s appropriate...”. If you are fortunate enough to be in a position where this is appropriate for the children then why not? Average stats say mothers get 11 nights and fathers get 3 (if that). Feminist “equality” doesn’t EVER take the stance above until this type of situation arises. I should not have to beg for scraps from the table while the mother holds all the cards. She took the children without consent and fled, breaking the law but it’s a law that’s hardly ever enforced. If I had done the same I wouldn’t have got 50km before I’d have been arrested. The whole system is broken, corrupt and unbalanced and a huge money making machine. I will never allow another woman into my life.

What if the mediator is bias and not natural because of several mediations with the same person

I heard almost nothing about the needs of the *KIDS* here. Who cares what mom and dad want? It's about creating the very best circumstances for the kids.

Why 70-30 is healthy and 50-50 is not? It’s all about control.

My ex treats our kids as hers only not ours

Seriously this guy lies so much we gonna end up in trial 🤭

When your ex is a sociopath mediation doesn't work.

With a narcissist mediation is useless

The mediator, who gets paid to mediate, supports mediation. Shocking.

Our mediator said he can't make this decision

If you care about your children MEDIATE! If you want to go broke and destroy your children's future co-parenting dreams then go to Family Court. Wake up mums....Dads love their kids to and they weren't narcissists when they lived in your house?!?!

But dont you think this should not be 50/50 because here we are hurting kids psychologically,staying 2 days with one parent nd some times with other. I think it should be only with 1 parent so that kids don't revolve around here nd there They shud nw tht they have one house.I personally feel it hurts kids once with mom nd once with dad.It hits kid emotionally.I think kid can be asked in fun way wht they want.

I see this guy is like a sales man he makes the product sound like there is nothing wrong with mediation, the product. So hes all smiles and wonder. Forgetting, that some parents refuse to go to mediation and therefore the case ends up in court. Let me tell about happy go lucky persons like this guy, they fail to tell you the dark side. Reminds me of Pastors in churches its all so squeeky clean I've been through it all. Mediation is for people who are nice to each other not terrible You cannot force a person into mediation so he's not being fair as to how mediation plays out in real life. So i have to say this was a bit rubbish unfortunately. He sells mediation for a living, why do you thing he talks it up so perfectly. You'd thought mediation was heaven, the way he wrappped it.

He *sounds* credible and looks professional, but his socks are too smelly to be a trustworthy man