So basically in order to get custody of the child you have to be a good person and good parent. Who would’ve thought

This has changed my mind set of being angry at my baby boy father for bailing out on the family. Thinking of the best interest for our son is now my goal. All that other stuff can be put to rest. I feel better as well letting him exercise his rights for visitation. We have a custody hearing soon, and i just know with my good heart and understanding the Lord will have everything work out for my family. God bless anyone struggling with custody, its a scary thing with babies involved especially us mothers who carried them for 9 months while being mistreated to only have to suck up the pain and forgive all the time . I pray my son be the best he can be with both parents involved at least

I absolutely RESPECT the breakdown using metaphors and similes of having a 'War-like' Mentality over Gaining Legal Custody!! That was Powerful!!

Unfortunately I have personal experience with ugly truths surrounding custody issues. It’s been mentioned about how a parent needs to focus on their behaviors and things they can change. Which I agree with. What I learned the hard way was with my two daughters, their dad and myself... when we first separated, when their dad didn’t follow through with promises, visits, calls, etc, I would find some positive spin or cover story to tell the girls. I didn’t want them to be hurt by their dad being inconsiderate. That started to be an issue because everyone covered for dad, so he never looked like ‘the bad guy’. Meanwhile I’m raising the girls and that obviously involves setting limits and discipline. So they had an evil mom with rules, a dad who, when he wasn’t there everyone covered for him and when he was there, the word “no” was literally never used. My daughters could tell him they were hungry and want Hershey’s chocolate and French fries from McDonald’s and that’s all and he’d get it for them. Taking baths, brushing teeth, picking up.... they never had to do that stuff with dad. While it’s no surprise it caused issues, those issues quickly multiplied. Suddenly once the girls would come home from a week with dad and it got to where I knew to expect my oldest daughter would have a full out breakdown. I describe it as an emotional/mental reset. These were moments of tantrums plus outbursts plus physical thrashing and it always got to where it would escalate until she no longer control it and go into absolute breakdown with me having to physically pin her down to keep her from hurting herself or anyone else as she would have this flood of emotional release! It was terrifying to watch. Eventually I realized that if nothing else my kids deserved truth from their mom. Even when it’s painful truth. That made a huge difference. I never bashed their dad or talked badly of him. I simply stopped lying for him. When the girls would ask why he wasn’t there, they got the truth: baby I don’t know why he isn’t here. I think people don’t realize how much negative impact there can be from trying to keep kids from being hurt!

Being a child of a horrible divorce and parental alienation i was very concerned with the past not being repeated with my daughter. I've always said it's not about me winning or my ex winning. The only person that needed to win was my daughter. Your line about war has casualties is so important. Fortunately my ex and I have both worked really hard and done well to do what's best for my daughter.

God, this scares me so bad. I just want my kid to be happy.

Om going through the same thing.... I've raise my children all 3 sons leaves with me..their lived with me off and on for 21 yrs. Never help pay any bills. When l would ask he would move out and go. Back to his place. Now youngest is 16 and l file for child support now all of a sudden he wants full custody. All 3 boys lives with me since birth. He has a better that pays well and he doesn't want to pay me a dime. Its so up setting...pray for me

The last story your shared truly made me so sad. Bless you both for sharing these valuable insights.

I listened to this years ago... i'm listening to it again... I Love this video THANK YOU!!! I was awarded sole... He refuses to see him any additional time

I have been listening to your stuff a lot. It’s so good and I appreciate your insight and advice. What if you are truly dealing with someone who you believe puts your kids in danger? I know it’s best for kids when parents get along. We have always shared joint physical and joint legal but he exercised very little of that for the past 7 years until the last year when he noticed the kids were becoming close with my fiancé. He is now filing for custody modification and using the time he has not used fir years. I have always been reasonable with him, bc he has never wanted much time. Now I feel he is only wanting more time to get back at me and has no regard for the impact on the kids. I know having a healthy relationship with both parents is best and important for the kids, but what do you do when you know he is dangerous and when your kids are scared of him? I want to appear reasonable and show the judge I put them first, but also show the kind of character he really is. My attorney doesn’t seem very engaged and is so busy he won’t respond. HELP!!!

Thank you . Your videos are very helpful . Bless you both .I appreciate your videos .

Unless war is imposed upon upon a good parent who is blindsighted from it. Also there is domestic violence that is often overlooked and not factored into the situations. Often people want to sweep that under the rug and act like it is not a part of the case.

I have my restraining order for custody in an hour and this was so helpful. Thank you for posting.

This is what I want, to get along and agree on 50/50 but my soon to be xHusband has a different mentality. I'm afraid that because I want to be fair, I may loose the case. This brings some comfort to me. Thank you!

Thank you Lawyer for your advice....God bless You...

I’m gonna try to use y’all advice. I plan on following up with the results

Wow, this is excellent! Thank you!

I was expecting legal advice but this video was even better, going beyond that.

Great video. Thank you!

I have to go to court without lawyer. This was speaking of exactly how I'm going to act in the courts. Amazing and thank you for your work!

You don't have to have an attorney. It's too easy in family court to represent yourself. It's your child and your life. The attorney doesn't have anything at stake.

Wow..this is deep...but life is Tough and some people are evil..A lot of us did it wrong from the onset..its so so sad.

The deeper I go into my exes not letting me see my daughter the more I worry about how she is treating our daughter. It breaks my heart and I’m the only one who can help her but legally I cannot... yet. I’m just hoping the judge can see past her accusations and see the truth of what’s going on. I have tried to stay out of the ‘war’ and even though I haven’t submitted anything to the court about her I may have to set the record straight

For cases like these I'd recommend David Phhillips Law, wonderful lawyer, great service!

I was counseled by my attorney to document everything over the last 2 years during my divorce... this was challenging for me to not confuse factual information with emotional responses of things going on. My question is, how do courts view documentation? Do they see this as focusing on negatives? Even if everything in documentation was about the children?

What an excellent duo.

Thank you!

I don’t think the divorce behavior is what is perpetuating through the generations in these stories, as much as it is choosing partners that are similar to what we know (our parents or lack thereof). Therapy and counseling should be more common in our society, because so many people are broken and need emotional and mental healing.

12:38 Dr Craig Childress, a clinical child psychologist, talks about trauma being transferred from generation to generation and has the best strategy to win in custody battles with dark personalities ( narcissistic, BPD). Have you heard of him?

This all sounds reasonable and common sense advice in a conflict ridden divorce where abuse is not present. I do not hear acknowledgement of how difficult this is to a parent who has been on the receiving end of years of emotional, verbal, financial and/or physical abuse. That is the problem with the family court system... the lack of understanding of the dynamics at play with these types of custody battles.

Love your channel

Stay together in kindness or separate in kindness… ♥️

incredible

I’m in the state of Louisiana and am so lost at the moment. I don’t want to start a court case but am basically being forced to create one.

What about if the mother is basically only living up to the temporary order, but just barely, violating it in as many small ways as possible, using any excuse to deny visitation, we'll agree upon things, and then she'll change her mind and deny me holidays if they weren't on paper. Etc... will the judge catch on to that? Basically my question is will it be evident to the court that there is pettiness from one side towards the other?

I am currently in the middle of a child custody case, and I do not have an attorney as I cannot afford one. The other parent has an attorney. So I guess going by your statement I am in trouble.

Fathers often get unfairly treated in custody disputes.

You obviously don’t understand how antagonistic a narcissist is and how hard it is to protect your children from their hatred. It’s impossible to get along with a narcissist! Period. Nothing absolutely nothing works in dealing with them!

Thanks for the information. It’s really helpful. What is the name of the attorney?

Im the grandparent and neither parent my son or the baby's mother is fit. I have a great attorney and I know my granddaughter will be safe. They could be good parents but choose to love a life of unsafety for the kids.

If I could give my lawyer a zero, I would. He's inexperienced, and he did barely the bare minimum for the 3,000 dollars I paid him!, dont believe those reviews and awards on lawyer website, he got his retain fee and left. I hired lawyer in June 2022 to fight my child modification case, and then what he said was an easy win since the other party abandoned the child for almost 4 years and guaranteed me a victory. lawyer through his email, court documents, and writing, sounded like he was a good lawyer that's fighting hard, but sadly, through writing that's were his zeal stopped. Court day came in August, and he was a deer caught in the headlights before the judge. The judge would ask me a question, and I would reply, lawyer, what do you think? Lawyer was quiet and seemed he didn't know what to say, literally being bullied by the judge. As the judge determined, I and the other party needed mediation, which I looked at lawyer like how are you not fighting for my concerns. After the hearing was over I spoke to lawyer on the phone as he charged me money for it, he told me "that wasn't the outcome he didn't think we would happen" but im like you was a deer in a headlights. A month later, in September, during the mediation again! lawyer balantly sat there and again I was like lawyer are you going to say something? he utter well she should do reunification therapy, I sat there and was like I sought full custody and the other party is still getting their rights!.... after the mediation lawyer said and I quote said to me "this is the outcome we wanted right" No you told me and assured me a victory and since it's "not going to plan" as you said you're folding. In my last verbal conversation, lawyer told Im glad we settled since if we go back to court, it's going to be more expensive, and I quote he spoke, "Good luck." Good luck, lawyer? leading me to believe after he saw the retaining fee has been used up, he's out now. lawyer thought this was a walk in the park type of money child case. Fast forward to November of 2022, I fired lawyer and the response was he was satisfied with our results. Im like, really, what did you accomplish other than reunification therapy? So lawyer worked for me about 5 to 6 months before I fired him, so afterwards, I filed in December 2022 to change counties and venue's since I mentioned to lawyer that Ramsey county shows favoritism and let's move to Hennepin so I could have a fair outcome he said let's see how Ramsey judge will go. December 2022 court date came I won on my own change of venue which Lawyer couldn't do when he worked for me.... In January 2023, I sought child support since lawyer refused to put the individual on child support, so I won that as well without lawyer....fast forward I reapplied for full custody in Hennepin county on February 2023 and court date was set for May and guess what I won sole legal and physical custody on my own without the lawyer the same amount of time I hired him it took me as well the 5 to 6 months on my own and won!!! ....Im a single father, and I beat the odds with very little legal help to all you fathers and some mothers trust in God and his son Jesus for these battles! I won with the Lord's help! I would never recommend that Law firm period!!! now me and my house are moving the hell out of state 🫡✌️after 5 years of fighting.... At least refund my 3000 grand retainer fee for the bare minimum ass job 😑

We tried mediation. The paternal aunt didn't participate in court and ran out of the room. She couldn't even speak in mediation she sat in the back of the room and the prosecutor interrogated my daughter. He wasn't suppose to be in mediation. Why was he there ?

I have a friend who’s separated ( divorce is almost final) from her ex husband. The kids have to go back and forth every 4 months cause their parents don’t live in the same state. Is this right ?

I have stopped contact after my kids have stated they do not want to see him and all the other problems are way more my children are not safe with him and I have tried to work with him many time but how long do you keep trying before it's to much

Can you make videos about Grandparent Custody or Guardianship? Our situation is different because my wife and I are at war with my Mom because she wants to be a parent in our son’s life. She does not want to let him go and allow us to be parents in our son’s life.

To be civil and detached is the rule when the other parent has done very bad things. To pretend you like someone when you do not teaches the child to pretend to like those not liked. Which leads to divorce for that child later in life. Vitriol is not a necessary ingredient of preferring space from a problematic person.

What happens when the other parent files false claims on you (like when you kid is sick throwing up and you can't travel and have proof from doctor and they file a contempt for that day?) what does a parent do in a case like this when the other parent is being so mean and hateful? It's actually scary.

I'm going through this right now and it sucks cause I've tried to not fight against the other party and fight with them I realized the best interest of the children and tried time and time again it backfired and it's cause they got lawyer

What happens when being around the other parent only instills fear, breeds contempt, and affords opportunity to counterparent resulting in demolition of original parent child structure?

The law guardian has never changed for my son, she was always on my son's dad's attorney side?

I am currently in a situation where my baby mama has recently givin birth, and she has blocked me out of everythin completely i dont know my daughterz name or d.o.b. and when i reached out she had responded saying she needed timeto think about letting me be involved tobe blocked once again and all i want is to be involved i my lil girls life, and without my daughters name or d.o.b. i cant proceed so what do i do if she keeps doing this

No one wins in a divorce, I just want to see my son who my ex has alienated me from our son, I just want to see our son, he has thrown my name through court and I just want to see my son

what if both parents are trying their best? mother left two days ago with children and called when she was 5 hours away to say she was leaving. How can we get the children back to california? we are the only family the children have been with and mom has no family in the new state she moved to.

What happens when the other par by says that they are just here to waste their time and money and because there’s a nda nothing yall can do and leaves.

Great advice! However, let’s not discount abusive marriages which require parents to be apart. Those parents at the wedding may have had a very abusive situation whereby they do not have contact. Contact can cause triggers and issues.

I’m just trying to see my child at this point it’s been 2 months. She’s only 4 months. And my child’s mother house got shot up. I should be able to win this right ?

Have either of these gentlemen actually gone through a divorce or had divorced parents? I ask because making something your profession is not the same as actually experiencing it. For example, I would never go to a marriage therapist who has never one been married.

Re: the story about the bride's biological parents not being in the same picture, I think the disbelief by the counselor is naive. I would love to tell you my story, I agree with not posting things on social media etc.

What does it mean to win custody? Does that pertain to parenting time or decision making?

If. Its. Mi. Visitation. Day. Can. I. Call. Police for. Asistetence

My husband and I just began the process of divorce and he took the kids one night, didn't tell me where they were, I had to hunt them down, he refused to answer calls, texts, or allowing me to speak with my kids over the phone. He is creating false claims about me being unfit. He is a narcissist and will use anything he can. Is there an emergency order available for this type of thing?

They don’t need to be in the picture together, especially if one or both of them has a new spouse, that’s not appropriate

What can I do my baby mother is keeping me from child and idk why but I been in a relationship for 9 years and she has daughter which I also raise as one of my own she is my daughter and baby mother feels like I do more for her child than our child but me and my fiancé and my step daughter (daughter) we lived together for 9 years I haven’t seen my child since January 12th I missed birthday and other events tell me what am I suppose to do ???????????

My kids are scared of my ex and seen him beat me many times they have also seen him beat his mum he has left them in a drunk person's home and forgot where he left them according to him

My ex is an abuser and groomed me into marriage and children and I’m deeply traumatized. Not so sure I can just think positive 😂 but go off

Plenty of kids don’t even want their married parents in the same room. Sometimes it is for the best if one party is especially harmful/has a personality disorder. Love the advice generally though. It is ideal for parents to put their kids’ happiness first.

Is it possible to get his contact information please or may be full name so i can google it Thank you 😊

Can you recommend a good attorney to help out & give advice

Kids are 11 and 12. How much say do they have? Kids find uneducated mother Repulsive. She expelled from school at 12. Both require that I bring them up. This is great as they are the priority in my life

So I have custody court in 2 weeks and I'm super nervous and freaking. Their bringing up my mental issues my substance abuse issues which I can pass a drug screen and i just freaking out I don't want to loose my kid if anyone on here has any kind of advice or anything please message me on Facebook it's bailley Elizabeth

Is it wrong if mother allows only visitations for infant, but father wants to be able to pick up child for parental time

Why won't CPS and the courts believe a 15 year old girl, about the abuse by her mother? Just because she doesn't have broken bones and huge bruises? Do they think every child is a liar?

Why do people think that one parent should be calm and cool about the other parent abusing their child? I would be quite suspicious of a parent that acted like it was no big deal that their child was being tortured. I would think that they don't REALLY care about their child! I would suspect that they just wanted custody to get out of paying child support!

I believe you gave good advice but the two stories of clients you represented were the mothers and they already have a big advantage as being the mother in a custody case and that’s just a fact especially in certain states

I need help

I need help gd it

What do you do if her father and his new fiancé are screaming in front of the child, and saying they are going to take the child away from me?

How do you protect your children from an abusive parent when they are the custodial parent?

My real dad lives with my mom and step dad they care for eachother like family should and they still live together i wasn't taught that hating eachother was good for the kids

And If I was DX as CPTSD due to his leveraging the BS DVI to demonstrate my "violence" despite the family orders of precedence? I fear coparenting with what my team alleging that he's a Narc Psychopath?

Not one video of lawyer wining custody for a man😢

Married six months and looking to divorce?! Go to counseling! Bloody hell.

Please someone help me.

Don’t think badly? What if the other parent really is a horrible person? Who led a secret life and now is constantly rubbing everything in your face? Then what?

I just found out my son's step mom is filming onlyfans content with child locked in hall way it is filmed live and you can hear the baby crying ,do I tell my lawyer and will I win my custody or will I lose it for finding the content and reporting it?

I wish you guys could help me out. 💔

You do know, don't you, that a parent who chooses to embark on a path of parental alienation will not stop, will not put the interest of their children first? They must BE stopped. On the contrary, your three bullet points are the very behaviors they are banking on for the other parent so they can use that to their advantage. So you're talking to the parent who does have the best interest of the children in mind. If that parent is dealing with a clever enough narcissist and an incompetent enough court system, it can be hopeless, the alienator will not BE stopped, and it is cruel to suggest the caring parent could have succeeded by something they failed to do. To the fathers in that situation, I grieve with you (and with my son.). You are not guilty. You did your best. You were dealing with evil and may you find some peace in knowing that.

I'm trying to come out of this not homeless and able to get back and forth to work. My brother in law pays 50% of his GROSS. He can't buy a shirt.

You know what they say about attorneys... Everytime they open there mouth they lie this is so true. This is so sad everytime he open his mouth he was contradicting himelf. I have not yet met a parent that said am trying to allow him time with the kids but he doesnt want it. But he did say it was good business for him because he makes money that's all divorce court is all about making money. There is no reason for any parent to get full custody unless one of the parent is abusing the child. They shoud not even allow attorney's in a divorce it should all be taken care of during counseling..

I have this problem my ex who works for mental health for a long time good level in his job he has abused me and my kids for year me mentally and ohyiscally and now I believe the claims my kids have made are true he even sent me pictures of other peoples miscarriages while I had a mental health break down he is a coke addict also he torched me for years I have messaged him alot since we split but he was telling me I can vent my shit by text im blocked anyway he won't receive them amd everytime I stopped messaging him he would use 3rd party people to abuse problems so I would then start messaging him I just found out that he has been calling the police on my messages

Still waiting to hear this guy tell a story about a guy he represented through a custody battle...and won.

🙏🙏🙏👌

If the married couple that is getting the divorce could work together to put the children above their hurt, then it wouldn't get petty, and the judge would have it easy.

They should start havin lie detector test in Family Court

How do you get your children back from the grandparents who obtained custody by full on lies that i had proof of!! My ex passed away in a unexpected tragic homicde leaving me all alone without his voice in it because they twisted everything. My kids especially my oldest is experiencing so much negativity and pressure even to the point where their guilt tripping her In order to make do things. How do I prove the alienation let alone just get them back my oldest is willing to talk to the judge but she's scared of what they'll do when they get home... ugh I don't wish this on no one it's such a powerless feeling...

Divorce is too easy that is the problem. There is little to no consequences for voiding a marriage contract with divorce. They honestly need to make people learn to actually work with their spouse to keep the marriage intact so that it doesn’t blow up into a divorce. Marriage is hard it isn’t Disney happily ever after, but it isn’t boyz in the hood either. Parents who cannot maintain a relationship and work to stay married and reasonably happy will almost never be able to raise kids who will be able to maintain their future marriage. Nor will they likely learn how to resolve relationship conflict in a healthy manner.

I was never married to her biological father. I left him and have been living with my parents since 2020. My daughter is primarily with me. He would take her 3 days I would take her 4. Ever since he got with his fiancé she changed the co parenting plan. Now she’s threatening to take my child from me

Simple solution to end this war. This doesn’t need to be. Joint legal and joint physical custody with equal shared parenting should be the standard. Sole custody should be a last resort. Not the goal.

If women really cared about the kids, they would not be filing for divorce at 80%. Custody is about the marital home and child support. The mother will win almost every time. Lets get real here.

Everyone cannot afford an attorney. They are way too much.